


Educating the Victim

by HubrisHound, OnyxSardonyx



Series: Educating the Universe [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Choking, Eating Disorders, F/F, Illustrated, Manipulation, Mental Health Issues, Past Abuse, Pining, Polyamory, Recreational Drug Use, Roleplay Logs, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2018-06-10 07:35:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 88
Words: 298,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6945937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HubrisHound/pseuds/HubrisHound, https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnyxSardonyx/pseuds/OnyxSardonyx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following a serious leg injury, Pearl's future dreams of being a dancer are crushed and she's forced to stay in school for an extra year. As she begins to drift closer to a certain teacher crush, her inner demons expose, and soon Pearl begins to walk a dangerous tightrope on the brink of her sanity.</p><p>In an attempt to help, Rose Quartz, too, finds herself caught in her student's web, and as a looming threat in expensive yellow heels creeps closer, everything falls on the line.</p><p>As gushy feelings and textbooks collide, there's one thing for certain:<br/>This is going to be one hell of a high school year.</p><p>(Updates biweekly!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Act I - Chapter I: Exposition

**Author's Note:**

> So since about February 2016, we've had this RP going. It got huge, it got great, other people got interested, so now we're publishing it! We're aiming to update once a week with very occasional exceptions which will be announced beforehand :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We also have a blog! [Check it out here!](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)  
> On the blog we post the chapters themselves, but also illustration previews, general comments, announcements and more. Plus you can send us asks!

 

Pearl awkwardly grabbed at the side of her messenger bag. The last, prolonged year of her school had meant a whole ton of books had to be carted around at her side. She had finally busted out of her limp - something that had taken months since she'd stopped using the crutches after her injury. First lesson with the year group below her, huh. Biology at that, too. At least she'd be ahead of the game, somewhat. She carefully padded to the door, looking around. It seemed she was earlier than her peer group.

 

Rose was still in the staff room, finishing up her tea. She checked the clock: fifteen minutes to her class. She drank the rest of her tea, gathered her things and made her way to the classroom.

She'd anticipated being there before her students, but one was already waiting. It was Pearl, the quiet but startlingly bright one who had to re-do this year because of a sporting injury.

"Good morning," Rose said, smiling at her student.

  
 

Startled, Pearl twisted back as she tried to locate the sound. "O-Oh!" She fussed with her satchel strap. "Miss Quartz! Sorry, am I in here too early? I don't have to attend the assemblies, so I thought I might as well have come up, but now that I think about it, it might have been a little rude. Oh God, I'm so sorry..." The poor student then went on to ramble an apology for several minutes.

 

Rose smiled at her and took out her keys, unlocking the classroom door and stepping inside.

"Pearl. It's quite okay, I assure you. Why don't you come in?" She gave her student another smile before going to the teacher's desk and starting to take out her things.

"How's your knee? I heard you took quite a dramatic fall last year, but I'm glad to see you back with us."

 

The subject itself seemed to drain the colour from Pearl's already pallid face. Switching from her string of apologies to a rather quiet, "It's alright. Getting better, I guess." As if Rose herself had just touched a metaphorical bruise. She attempted a small smile. "I, uh, hope everything was well on your end, Miss."

 

Rose watched Pearl go pale when she mentioned the injury and immediately regretted bringing it up. She didn't get a chance to apologise.

"Yes, I had a good summer." She smiled at Pearl warmly. "I hope you've not forgotten all of your biology from last year? As I recall, you were a very good student."

 

"Oh, God, well. I'd say the consistent visits to the hospital were advantageous in at least keeping the lessons in my thoughts." Pearl placed her books underneath her seat and pulled out a grey lined note pad and clicky biro pen. "Though, I hope you don't have anything too straining planned for our first lesson."

 

Rose grimaced with sympathy when Pearl mentioned her hospital stay. "Well, at least you're getting better, that's something, isn't it?" she said. When Pearl asked about the upcoming curriculum, she gave a short, bright laugh. "Oh, no. You're only just back from the holidays, after all. I'm going to ease you back into it, nice and slow." She didn't mention the huge biochemistry book sitting inside her bag this very moment - her students didn't need to know about that. At least, not yet.

 

"Oh, goodness. That's alright, then." Pearl nodded, as if to affirm to herself that everything was going to be okay. She seated herself by the desk and neatly wrote the date on the left hand side of the margin before drawing a line under it.

 

Rose watched Pearl for a moment longer, if only to make sure she was okay. Then she busied herself taking out her materials and neatly arranging them on her desk. This term, she would do genetics, and next term, they'd be starting on metabolism.

She wondered idly what Pearl was going to do after she finished school, since now her dancing career was obviously not going to happen anymore. But she felt it would be far too invasive to ask Pearl about that, so she didn't. Instead, she just checked the handouts she was going to give the students one more time, making sure there were enough of them.

 

In a matter of minutes, the lower year (now enjoying their new positions as the alpha year group of the school, it seemed) came tumbling into the classroom. The beginning of the year was always bright with colours of new stationery and bags, still unused and ready to get lost within the next few weeks. Pearl looked around awkwardly as the classroom she'd grown to know filled with unfamiliar people. She slowly looked towards her teacher, even if for comfort. Ready to think about anything but this awkwardness.

 

Rose barely looked up as the rest of the class came filing in. In all her years of teaching, she'd found that looking busy was usually your best bet; that way, she'd start the lesson on her own terms, without giving the students the feeling that they were the ones in control. She only briefly looked up once and caught Pearl's eyes.

She couldn't help thinking that Pearl looked a bit lost among the younger students. She gave her an encouraging smile before going back to her tasks. She quickly checked the time: two minutes, then she'd begin class.

 

Awkwardly drumming her fingertips on the table, Pearl waited for everything to start. The sooner that happened, the sooner she could go home. She softly sighed, still focusing on Miss Quartz. At least the view wasn't bad. She softly smiled at the thought. Her teacher was, if Pearl was indeed your average fuckboi, in the unfortunate MILF category of teachers in general.

 

The two minutes were up, so Rose straightened up and raised her voice a little to cut through the chit-chat of her students.

"Good morning, everyone!" She waited for the obligatory "Good morning Miss Quartz" from her students before continuing. "I hope you all had a fantastic summer. And welcome to your final year here, I'm sure you must be very excited." Most of the faces looking at her reflected this sentiment; Pearl, however, mostly looked mildly impatient. Maybe Rose should give her something else to do so she wouldn't have to go through the entire DNA replication thing all over again.

She quickly explained to her students what they would do this term, then handed out the paper she'd prepared for them: a short history of genetics, including big names like Mendel, Watson and Crick. She'd searched for a rather long time until she found a text that mentioned Rosalind Franklin as well - she thought it was important for her students to know that it wasn't just men who had paved the way for science as it was known today.

 

Keeping Pearl's attention wasn't too hard a task. Miss Quartz was at least top tier when it came to presentations- they were interesting and at least there was minimal reading off the board (a pet peeve of hers). She leaned back and slowly took notes, only annoyed by the fact that she actually knew pretty much all Rose was saying. She'd been ready to apply it to her tests just a few months ago, after all.

 

Rose got through the lesson smoothly, just like she'd planned, and eventually gave the students their homework and sent them on their way, but not before she caught Pearl's eye.

"Could I talk to you for a moment, Pearl?" she asked with a smile.

She'd not really prepared anything to give Pearl, but she already had a few ideas. Pearl was smart and surely already knew most of what Rose was reaching; it would not be a stretch to give her a few university-level tasks. This, Rose thought, was where her massive biochemistry textbook might come in handy.

 

"Oh, sure, Miss!" Pearl flushed. Oh God, what if Miss Quartz had the power to read minds? Osmosis? She needed to think of something unsexy fast. "I was just pondering over.... Rectums. Very interesting. Hm." She felt the urge to slap herself and fought it, hard. "What did you, erm. Want to talk about?"

 

Pearl seemed a lot more flustered than Rose had expected her to when she'd asked her to stay. She said something Rose was sure she must have misunderstood. She was blushing. It was adorable.

Rose smiled at her, sweetly. "Well, I got the impression that you are way ahead of the class. Surely all I've talked about today was already familiar to you. So, I thought, what if I gave you some more advanced material to work with?"

She wondered if Pearl... liked her. It happened sometimes, and Rose had become rather good at being able to tell. If she was being honest, she enjoyed the attention. In some cases, she even subtly encouraged her students in these matters, but she was always careful not to take it too far.

She held eye contact with Pearl for just a moment longer than she needed to.

 

Those dark eyes were mazes. Pearl was already trapped. She slowly nodded, trying to process those smooth words in her head. Voice like butter. Maybe caramel. Something equally as sweet and rich. She swallowed. "Uhm. Sure! I'd love to take something extra to boost myself up."

 

It took some effort to break eye contact. Rose shifted her attention to her bag and took out the heavy book. "This is a book which mostly handles university level biochemistry, and I'll be teaching some of it in this class. But if you want, I can copy some pages for you so you have something to read and some more advanced questions to answer while I take the class through the basic stuff. How does that sound?" She smiled a dazzling smile at Pearl.

 

"Yes, Miss." Pearl's pale face had turned rosy as she fidgeted with the strap of her bag. "I mean," she cleared her throat, eyes more lucid. "Yes. That's a good idea. It'd give me something to stretch on."

 

"Excellent." Pearl was pretty when she blushed. "I'll prepare something for you, okay? Anything you're particularly interested in?"

 

"It's probably better if you pick." Pearl gave an almost naughty smile. "I have very peculiar interests."

 

"Alright," Rose said, smiling. "I'll find something for you. Although I'd certainly be fascinated to hear what those peculiar interests of yours are." The way Pearl had said it, it had sounded almost... like she meant something else entirely. But Rose quickly chased those thoughts from her mind. Pearl was far too sweet and innocent to have meant anything of the sort.

 

If internal chuckling was a thing,  Pearl was certainly doing it now. "I can't wait to see what you've got in mind for me."

 

Rose wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, though her face did not betray any of that. She gave Pearl another smile. "Well, I will see you in class tomorrow," she said. "Unless there's anything else you need?"

 

"Erm. No. I think that's alright." Pearl fumbled before carefully tiptoeing away (obviously not as gracefully as she would have usually done due to her injury, but the lithe steps of a dancer were still present). "I'll, uh, see you tomorrow."

 

* * *

 

The next day, Rose made her way to class with excitement in her heart. She'd spent most of her free time the previous day leafing through her books, not just the biochemistry one but other ones as well, and copying out relevant pages for Pearl. She hoped Pearl would find them challenging and stimulating.

She wouldn't have Pearl's class until after lunch, but when the time came, she went to the classroom extra early. She found herself hoping that Pearl would be early again, like she had been the day before.

 

Indeed she was. She quietly sat at her desk, leafing through her textbook with aimless, lazy swipes. When she looked up, her face turned its usual flush, but something seemed a little off. The hollow of her cheek was more slim. There were heavier rings around her eyes. She, however, gave a delighted wave. "Afternoon, Miss Quartz."

 

"Hello, Pearl." Rose smiled at her student. She noticed that Pearl looked a little... ill? "I hope you've had a pleasant day so far." She set her bag on the table and rummaged in it, procuring a slim folder with several pages in it. Swiftly, she brought it over to Pearl and showed it to her student.

"I brought you a few things, like I said. For now, you can just read through them - it's a variety of different areas, but mainly genetics and metabolism, the things we'll be discussing this term and next. Feel free to do these things instead of following the class. I'm perfectly confident that you'd be bored if you did."

Up close, she definitely thought Pearl looked ill.

 

There was a force in Pearl's grateful smile. Her tone, however, was wholly thankful. "These look interesting!" She scanned a few with her vision and then cocked her head. "And a little more complex, hah! Thank you! Do you want me to complete any questions on them and hand them over for you to take a look at too?"

 

"Sure, if you'd like." Rose smiled. "But if all you want to do for now is read, that's okay too. Some of these questions are fairly simple, though, so if you feel confident, feel free to try your hand at those. I'll keep giving you new material each week, and from the week after next, I will be assigning you specific questions and collecting your work so I can give you some extra credit."

It would be another five minutes until the rest of the class would even begin to appear. Rose wondered if she should ask Pearl if she was okay. Would it be rude to? Some people were very sensitive. But she was only concerned... as a teacher, it was part of her responsibility to make sure her students were okay.

 

"Alright! I'll use it as a supplement then." Pearl gave a weak smile and went back to her exercise book to draw in the date to the margin. An elegant motion with her thin wrist. She then paused and looked down for a few minutes before copying the lesson title from the board.

 

Rose watched her for a moment before going back to the teacher's desk.

The silence drew longer and Rose, who was used to awkward silences between teachers and students and probably shouldn't have felt as uncomfortable as she did, couldn't help looking at Pearl again.

Did her motions seem slower today, did she seem to hesitate before moving?

Rose thought she was probably just reading too much into it. Pearl was her most advanced student, and one she paid more attention to than many of the others, so obviously she was bound to notice things. It didn't mean anything was wrong.

She pushed her worry aside and looked up as the rest of the class started to arrive.

 

Pearl watched her peers come in once more. Her eyes skimming over their bodies as a glimmer of almost envy flickered in her eyes as a clique of chattering girls paced in. Sixth form meant that they were allowed to be more liberal with clothes- and Pearl's eyes were strained over how their more revealing outfits clung to the thin curves of their bodies. Perfect legs in short skirts. She then frowned and looked at the board. And then at Rose. Perfect, loveable Miss Quartz. Avoiding eye contact, she opened her textbook to the correct page.

 

Rose started teaching, trying to ignore the nagging worry in the back of her head. She couldn't help glancing at Pearl now and then, and at some point towards the end of the lesson she realised that since the start of the term, she'd never seen Pearl with anybody else. She didn't seem to have made friends in this year group yet. She also didn't seem particularly keen on making any.

She explained to the class about the chemical structure of deoxyribonucleic acid, which bases bonded with which and the differences to RNA. She gave them their homework for the next day and answered questions. It was all business as usual, really.

She wondered if she'd get the chance to speak to Pearl after the lesson. She wasn't going to ask her to stay again since they'd talked about their proceedings regarding the extra work already. But maybe, just maybe Pearl would stay of her own accord - although Rose knew she shouldn't be hoping for that.

 

As the bell to signify the end of class went, students began to pack up equipment and briskly leave, ready to go home. Pearl happened to be the last person out, which was fortunate, as mere seconds from the door, her bag strap gave way and the contents tumbled to the floor. "Oh, fuck me." She gritted her teeth and eased herself to the floor to pick up her items.

 

The bell rang just as Rose was finishing up the class. She watched the students file out. Pearl was the last to leave.

She wasn't even looking at Rose, which Rose found a little odd. She felt a small stab of regret when Pearl left without saying anything, but only moments later, she heard the sound of books and paper hitting the floor, followed by cursing.

She was more than tempted to come up with a witty response to Pearl's 'Fuck me', but really, there was absolutely no way she was going to flirt with one of her students in that obvious a manner. Especially one who already had a crush on her. Instead, she hurried over to help Pearl.

 _Her leg_ , Rose thought. "Are you okay? Here, let me help."

 

"No, no!" A panicked cry. Pearl quickly scrambled to hide the contents back into her bag. Clearly not wanting her teacher to see. She then awkwardly turned around and gave a shy, awkward look. "I'm, erm, alright. My bag must've finally hit its expiration date." She spied a lighter that had tumbled out by her foot and stuffed it quickly in. "Whoopsie daisy, am I right? Haha."

 

Rose leaned down to take some of Pearl's stuff, only to have it snatched up by Pearl, who quite obviously didn't want to be helped.

"I'm sorry," Rose said, feeling a little taken aback. "I didn't mean to -" Her eyes fell on something that Pearl must have missed, and she stooped down to pick it up. "Here, is this yours too?" A packet of tobacco. Oh yeah, she saw Pearl pick up a lighter earlier, too.

"I didn't think you smoked," Rose said, trying hard not to let her surprise colour her voice. She suspected she didn't do a very good job at that.

 

Pearl turned pale. Again. She scrambled to ensure nothing fell out. "Erm, yes. Only socially! Hah!" A lie. She had no social life and the thought of anyone to smoke with was near laughable. "Nicotine supresses the appetite, too." Now that held more truth. She folded her legs and carefully tried to pick herself up. "Uh. Thank you."

 

Rose didn't miss the way Pearl turned pale when she handed her the tobacco. And Pearl's comment about suppressing the appetite made about a dozen alarm bells go off in her head.

Rose had learned to be confident and love her body after figuring out that losing weight wasn't easy, and even harmful to her health; she looked at Pearl, who was barely more than skin and bones, and held a hand out to her, helping her up.

"You're not... trying to lose weight, are you?" This time, she couldn't keep the worry out of her voice. She wasn't particularly trying.

 

Pearl took a sharp inhale. Beads of sweat against her swept back pale strawberry bangs. "Oh, no! Not at all. I'm just trying to get fit again after this!" She pointed to her leg, but her response seemed far too rehearsed. As if every syllable had been said a million times in prior. "I'm fine." The two words were so familiar to her tongue they may as well have been a bible verse.

 

It felt familiar, all of it, and did nothing at all to soothe Rose's worry.

She'd always assumed Pearl was thin and lean because of her dancing profession, but her actions and words just now painted an entirely different picture.

 

 

"Pearl..." She didn't quite know what to say. "Eating enough is just as important to fitness as anything else. ... Please look after yourself, okay?"

 

Pearl bit her lip, struggling to properly stand up. Her tone became a little more firm. "I'm fine, Miss Quartz."  As if she was some sort of tween who didn't know how to play this game. She knew exactly what she was doing in this and a lecture from a teacher wasn't something she was in the mood for. She'd played this story out for years with family, old friends and doctors. Nothing was going to stop her. She only now noticed her grip on the bag had turned her knuckles white.

 

Rose's brow creased worriedly. Pearl looked thin, drawn, and now that she actually knew something was wrong, she could definitely confirm that she looked ill.

Rose knew, objectively, that there was nothing she could do if Pearl didn't want her to help. She hesitated, then reached out and placed a gentle hand on Pearl's shoulder.

"You know us teachers are always there if you need help, okay?" _Especially me_ \- she didn't add it, but she felt like Pearl knew anyway.

 

Pearl slowly looked at the hand as colour rose back to her face. She blinked, at first a little blearily. Then looked back at her teacher and down. "Yes, I know. Thank you. But honestly. I'm alright."

 

"If you're sure." Rose smiled at Pearl warmly. "In that case, I'll see you tomorrow." She knew better than to push more - if Pearl didn't want to talk about it, there was little use in trying to force her. She was going to observe Pearl, keep an eye on her, but she wasn't going to bring it up again unless Pearl did.

 

Pearl nodded and silently left the classroom. Really too anxious by the encounter to say anything more. It had been a while since her issues had been brought into question, and she'd been completely unprepared to respond. Usually, she was far colder and more calculating in such dealings but this was... this was something else.

 

Rose watched as she left, then let out a tiny sigh and went back to packing up and preparing the next lesson. She wondered if she would get a chance to catch Pearl alone - well, if Pearl continued to race ahead with her studies, then at some point maybe private tutoring could be an option? She should definitely think about that.

 

Pearl raced home - well, as fast as she could with the combo of her leg and terrible public transport. Her parents were out of town for the week and thus, no one was there to object when she immediately lay down on her bed and refused to get up until the early hours of the following morning. Homework and dinner left untouched.


	2. Act I - Chapter II: Sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/), too!

The next day, Rose came to school with mixed feelings. She'd gone over her exchange with Pearl again and again, wondering if there was anything more she could have said or done. She told herself again and again that Pearl was smarter and more mature than the average student, so she was going to be okay, right?

She'd printed out some more things for her, but was still unsure of herself. After yesterday, she didn't particularly want to ask Pearl about private tutoring today - she should leave it for a while, see how Pearl progressed with the extra material she'd been given.

She ended up getting to the classroom earlier again. It definitely wasn't because she hoped Pearl would be there. That would be silly. She just needed some more time than usual to prepare for her final year class. Yes, that was definitely it.

 

However, today Pearl wasn't early. She wasn't even on time. She awkwardly knocked on the door, twenty minutes late.

"Sorry, Miss," she muttered as she came in, looking even worse than yesterday. Her hair was uncombed, thick lines had developed under her eyes and made their residence known. Had anyone not known better, they would have assumed she hadn't slept for a week.

 

Rose had started teaching as usual, not showing her concern to the rest of her students. But the knot of worry that had been sitting in Rose's stomach since yesterday intensified. Was Pearl ill, or was she merely avoiding Rose after their confrontation yesterday? Either way, it wasn't like her.

She was relieved when Pearl arrived, but that relief faded quickly when she had a look at the girl, who looked terrible.

She just nodded at Pearl when she went to her seat and continued her lesson as if nothing happened. She was going to ask Pearl after class - she had every right to, even without their conversation yesterday, because being twenty minutes late always justified an inquisition.

 

Being late wasn't good for many reasons. Pearl was completely disorganised - she awkwardly unstuffed her school books and pencil case, looking almost like a lost lamb in the process. Completely out of her routine, she somehow managed to copy the notes on the board into her book.

 

The lesson seemed to drag on for hours. Rose was good at hiding her distress, but she did lose track of what she was saying twice. After the lesson (Pearl still hadn't said a word) Rose tried to catch her eye, unsuccessfully.

"Pearl?" she called softly, hoping to get her student's attention.

 

Pearl glanced up, seemingly in her own little world. "Yes, Miss?" She then bit her lip. Was she going to get detention for being late?

 

When Pearl looked up, she seemed to have come back to Earth from very far away.

"It's unusual for you to be late. You don't look so good," Rose said gently. "Do you need me to take you to the school nurse?"

This seemed to get Pearl even more on the edge of her seat. "No!" She then realised she'd practically screamed at her teacher crush and slowly put both hands onto the table. Firm. "Sorry. I'm okay. I'm sorry I was late. It won't happen again."

 

Rose was startled - she hadn't expected Pearl to snap at her like that.

"See that it doesn't," she said. "Are you sure you're okay?"

 

"Abundantly," Pearl replied, ashamed with herself. She began to zip up her things.

 

Rose didn't believe Pearl, but then, there was very little she could do about it. The thought that she could give Pearl detention briefly crossed her mind, but she wouldn't give any other student detention if they'd only been late once - and Pearl was an excellent student usually. It would not do to make an exception for Pearl just because she was worried about her.

"Did you have a look at the things I gave you?" she asked instead. "I have some more, if you're interested. Did you do any of the questions?"

 

"I didn't have much time yet, I'm afraid," Pearl replied, hesitating to add more but she never did. "I'm still interested, though."

 

"Good, good." Rose smiled at Pearl. "No pressure. It's all just for your information and extra credit, after all. Just let me know when you get somewhere, okay?"

 

"Yeah." Pearl tried to respond to the smile with her own weak one and then daizily stepped forth, holding herself up with hands at each table. ”Whoops." She pulled herself back up. "Just a bit light headed."

 

Rose frowned at Pearl. "You're ill, Pearl," she said matter-of-factly. "You're in no state to be in classes. I'm going to take you to the nurse, okay?" The way Pearl was barely able to hold herself upright had her worried immensely.

 

"I need to go to my English class. I've missed it twice now." Pearl turned, body language akin to a frightened cat.

 

"You're in no state to go to classes," Rose repeated. "If you want, I can talk to your English teacher and tell them you're ill - who do you have for English?" She wondered how Pearl could have missed English twice already when the term had only just started. It was very odd. "Really, I'd rather make sure you're okay. Your health is more important than your grades, okay?"

 

"Miss Lazuli. But please let me go to her class! I need to attend and I'm fine. Look. I'm conscious. I'll make it there and sit down. Give me an hour and I'll be fine."

 

Rose was on good terms with Lapis, so she didn't see a problem. "Just being conscious doesn't mean you're fit for class," she said gently. "Come on. I'll talk to Miss Lazuli. You're obviously unwell." She reached out to touch Pearl's arm, to support her if necessary. "Let's go to the nurse's, shall we?"

 

"I don't want to. I don't consent to you taking me there." Pearl couldn't be seen by a doctor. They'd find out all sorts of things.  She drew away from Rose. "Please."

 

"Pearl, I'm just worried about you. The nurse won't do anything to you that you don't want to. Would your parents be able to pick you up?" Rose suppressed the urge to reach for Pearl again, if only because the girl looked so lost and fragile by herself.

 

Pearl shook her head. "They're out of town." Her feet were taking hesitant steps backward. "Please let me go to class."

 

So Pearl was obviously ill, distressed, with nobody to look after her at home?

"You should really go see the nurse, Pearl," Rose said. "It's not safe for you to continue class in your state. I'll come with you, okay? I can even stay with you to make sure the nurse doesn't do anything you dont want her to. Pearl, please." She was lucky; she had a free this period, so she actually was at liberty to take Pearl to the nurse and stay with her if needed.

 

"Why do you have to insist I'm sick? I'm not! I told you yesterday!" Truth be told, the attention she was getting was making Pearl giddy. Her face flushed, ears tinted pink. "This is all making me very upset."

 

"You look a lot more sick today than you did yesterday," Rose said. "And if you're getting upset, that's just one more reason that you need to be seen by someone." At least a little bit of colour was returning to Pearl's face. She did look upset. Rose just hoped she'd be able to get her to the nurse's soon.

 

"Miss! I'm an adult! You can't do this to me. I don't consent to you taking me there."

 

She looked positively terrified at the prospect of being taken to the nurse.

"What are you so afraid of?" Rose asked. "I'm just worried about you."

 

"I'm not afraid! I just don't want to go and feel I should be heading to my next class!"

 

"If you go to class like this, your health might suffer. That's a good enough reason for me to take you to the nurse. You're being a danger to yourself." Rose didn't want to force Pearl to go to the nurse's but she hardly had a choice. "Come on now," she said, taking Pearl's arm again, a little more firm this time.

 

Pearl felt a shiver at the touch. Was there much else she could do? Without it involving possibly hurting Rose which wasn't an option, there seemed to be a lack of option but to follow along. "Fine."

 

Rose felt relief at Pearl's single word. The nurse's office was not very far. "Don't worry, Pearl," she said, relaxing her grip on the girl's arm a little. "It's nothing at all to be afraid of, okay?"

They'd reached the nurse's office.

"Do you want me to stay with you while you're being treated?" Rose asked Pearl.

 

The less people that saw it, the better. "I'll be okay. Maybe Maheswaran will realise that I'm fine and let me get to class."

 

Rose sighed softly, then raised her hand to knock on the door. "Doctor?" The nurse, Dr Maheshwaran, opened up and looked at Pearl.

"Hello there! What's wrong with you?"

Rose smiled at the doctor, then at Pearl. "Why don't you tell her? I'm going back to my classroom, if you need me you know where to find me."

 

Pearl carefully stepped in. "I'm wasting your time. Miss Quartz was adamant that I come see you."

 

"Miss Quartz is not an unreasonable person. If she took you here, there's going to be a good reason for that." Dr. Maheshwaran looked Pearl up and down. She decided that she looked drawn and tired. "Did anything in particular happen?"

 

"Nothing." Pearl sighed. "I just forgot to set my alarm and slept in. Came to class late and was flustered. Not having a heart attack."

 

Rose was not at all the type to overreact at all. "Please sit on the bed for me," Dr Maheshwaran told Pearl. "I'm going to examine you briefly, nothing serious, just things like temperature, pulse et cetera. Okay?" She picked up the thermometre from the desk.

 

"I'd rather you didn't. I'd honestly just really love to get to class to be honest."

 

"Not before I check you out a bit. Please sit, otherwise this won't be overly pleasant." Dr Maheshwaran gestured to the bed again.

 

Without Rose around, Pearl was more inclined to fight. "Or what?"

 

"The sooner you cooperate, the sooner I can let you go. I'm obliged to keep you here until I can say for sure if you are fit to go to class or not. Which right now, I can't. Sit." The nurse was getting mildly exasperated.

 

"Alright." Pearl curled a lip and settled down. "What should I do next?"

 

"Just hold still." Dr Maheshwaran suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. She took the thermometre and measured Pearl's temperature. It was normal. Next, she took Pearl's wrist and felt for a pulse. It was slow, but weak.

"When did you last eat?" she asked.

 

"A while ago" Pearl replied. "I forgot. But nothing too crazy."

 

"No breakfast this morning?" A look of disapproval - a healthy breakfast was absolutely essential to maintaining health.

 

"Had no time." Pearl bit her lip at that look. Oh dear. She was in trouble.

 

"I see." Dr Maheshwaran remembered that Pearl was the one who'd had that terrible accident last year. "How's your knee? Are you in any pain?"

 

"Physically, I can't stand for very long and movement is uncomfortable," Pearl replied, a little surprised it was brought into question. "It's a useless thing anyway. Can't do anything with it now."

 

"It will get better in time." Dr Maheshwaran sensed some underlying mental issues in connection with the knee and the fact that it meant Pearl had to give up dancing. Possible eating problems. But that was nothing she could cure in an afternoon. She made a mental note to talk to Pearl's parents - Pearl was an adult now, but her parents still likely held some amount of influence over her, and she did not seem to be very open to being helped by her teachers.

"Well, Pearl," she said. "I can't see anything wrong with you besides your knee, which I can't really do anything about. You need to make sure you eat regularly, though. A few healthy meals, a good night's sleep, and you should be just fine. Okay? Do you have any food with you, or money to buy something?"

 

"I'll buy something," Pearl said, too quickly. "Can I go to class now?"

 

"Actually, I should have something here that should give you a bit of a boost." Dr Maheshwaran opened one of her drawers and took out a small packet of glucose tablets. "Here. Have one of these. But you definitely have to eat something proper. Preferably before going to class."

 

"I'm not too fond, I'm afraid. But I appreciate the gesture." Pearl tone was positively scathing.

 

"I insist," Dr Maheshwaran countered. Pearl could act tough all she wanted, but the nurse had seen all sorts in her days and she wasn't fazed. "Just one."

 

"Just one." Pearl swallowed and reached out. She tried not to grimace as she put it in her mouth. "Gee. Thanks. I'll be on my way."

 

"Right. Come back if you need anything else, okay?" Dr Maheshwaran very much doubted that Pearl would, but held open the door for her anyway.

 

"Will do. Thank you." Pearl fought nausea but knew nothing would come up. At least she got to pretend everything was fine by going to her class.

 

\---

 

After taking Pearl to the nurse's office, Rose made her way to Lapis's classroom, hoping she wouldn't disturb the lesson too much. As it turned out, the lesson hadn't even started yet, giving Rose an opportunity to catch Lapis. "Lapis, hi - can I have a moment?"

 

"Oh?" They were on agreeable terms. Had a few things in common. But never really spoke much. "Come in, unless you want to go and get some coffee from the staff room."

 

"Don't you have class now?" Rose asked, surprised. "It's about Pearl. She said she had English with you next. She was unwell in Biology, so I sent her to the nurse's."

 

"Huh? Nah, I don't have class 'till period five. I don't think I even have her set until tomorrow."

 

"That's odd. I'll need to have a look at her timetable." Why did Pearl lie? "She also said she'd missed English a few times." Did she lie about that as well? Why? Rose was more confused than ever.

 

"No, she's missed a couple of lessons and that's been a problem," Lapis replied. "My classes often coincide with after lunch. I think she must go out to get food, so she either misses last period and goes home or just can't be bothered to come in. I've told her off about it."

 

So that bit was true. Rose frowned. "She was over twenty minutes late to my class today. It's not like her, she's always been on time and she's never missed my class. I'm worried about her, to be honest."

 

"That's weird. It's only second period. She can't have been out for a lunch thing. Huh." Lapis laid down one of the books she'd been marking. "That is strange. Dreadfully frail, isn't she? Not quite the same since last year."

 

"Yeah, she is." Rose sighed. "I've been trying to talk to her, but she blocks off all attempts at helping her. She seems to have other problems as well, but she obviously doesn't want to talk about them. I want to help, but I don't quite know how."

 

"She's put up with a lot in the past few months. Maybe she's just settling in. Though, I don't see what her problem is. I'd kill for a figure that nice." Lapis shuffled a few papers. "Honestly, I don't know why she's not more popular amongst the other girls. She's got the makings of one of them role model types."

 

Rose sighed. "She's too thin, it's not healthy. She's not been eating properly, Lapis. And she's been keeping to herself a lot. I'm worried about her."

 

"Oh god. You don't think she's... No, come on. She's a clever girl. It's the year nines we worry about. Not someone who's past that age of worrying about other people looking at them." Lapis tapped the pencil she'd picked up. "Though now that you mention it, she was heavily involved in dance and you know what that can be like..."

 

"Yeah, that's why I'm worried. She said something that made me think of that the other day. And today she was late and nearly fell over when she tried to get up. That's why I took her to the nurse. I doubt she's eaten since yesterday."

 

"Do you really?" Lapis gently tapped the pen in thought. "That is quite scary. Someone as bright as her doing that to herself. She'd cover her tracks well, you know."

 

"Yeah, I know. You should have seen her when I suggested going to the nurse earlier. Like a scared little animal. It's not like her at all." Rose sighed. "Like she was scared the nurse would take one look at her and instantly know all the things she's been hiding. Which makes me think there's a lot of that."

 

"She won't open up to anyone with the intent of medically helping her if she's really got that going on in her head." Lapis then looked at her colleague. "Though, you'd probably know more about all that than me."

 

Rose brushed a few of her large curls out of her face. "Well, everyone's different. I guess I know more about this than the average person, but I'm still not sure how to help her. I'll try talking to her and getting to know her a little better." She thought: what had helped her to get better back then? Therapy had helped her to accept her body as it was, but Pearl's body was already perfect by all sorts of standards. Unless of course Pearl's eating problems weren't fuelled by body image issues, but something else entirely? Rose realised, once again, that she didn't know nearly enough.

"Well, anyway. I better find out what class Pearl is supposed to be having right now and inform her teacher," she said.

 

"I think sixth form has gym around now, but I'm not sure if she's even participating."

 

"Okay! Thanks, Lapis." Rose smiled at her. "I'll see you later, okay?" She didn't quite know what time it was, but probably time to get back to preparing classes. She only hoped Pearl was okay. There was little point in going to gym class since Pearl probably wouldn't be there anyway even if she wasn't ill. She gave one last smile as she turned and walked out of Lapis's classroom towards her own.

 

It was just around that time that Pearl walked out of hiding from the sixth form blocks, looking terribly pleased with herself. She didn't seem to spot Rose as she walked directly past her. Must have been the lack of nutrients to her brain - to be fair, she was struggling to focus altogether.

 

Rose was surprised to see Pearl, to say the least.

"Pearl!" she called. Did she look any better than she had before? No, Rose decided. "What did the nurse say?"

 

Pearl stopped. Oh. Fuck. Would running be a good plan? Not with her leg and terrible current dizzy spells. She's faint and get caught. She slowly turned on her heel, formulating a story. "She said I was fine. Like I thought I was."

 

Rose frowned.

"Why did you tell me you had English next? I spoke to Miss Lazuli, she didn't have your class this period."

 

Oh. Christ on a fucking bike, she'd actually talked to Lazuli. Pearl hissed under her breath. "I thought I had class too, hah!" She forced a grin. "Looks like I was wrong. Sorry for wasting your time, Miss."

 

"She also said you'd missed class a few times. You've never missed my classes. What's going on, Pearl?" It was probably not the best thing to try and push her, but Rose didn't know what else to do.

 

Oof. Tight spot. Pearl tiptoed around her words. "Classes clashed with some other things. It's a bit of a mess." Like her. She looked away. She wasn't a good liar when confronted like this.

 

"What other things?" Since her injury, Pearl didn't dance anymore for obvious reasons - and dancing had been her whole life. What other things could she have that took up so much time? And that she prioritised over school? It was all very strange.

 

"Personal... things," Pearl slowly replied, waving her hands to emphasise that she didn't want to discuss it further. Maybe that would throw Quartz off.

 

Personal things, huh. Rose knew she shouldn't pry. Pearl obviously looked like she very much didn't want to talk about it. So Rose changed the subject. To one that was quite possibly even more dangerous.

"Have you eaten anything today?"

 

"Yeah." Pearl chewed the inside of her lip. "The nurse forced me to swallow a glucose tablet if you're honestly that worried."

 

Well, at least that was something. It wasn't going to help at all in the long run, though. Rose was a biology teacher; she knew what happened to glucose in the body. It would be absorbed and used up within an hour. "I mean proper food," she said.

 

"Oh, yeah. Proper food. Mhm. Had a lot of it. Delicious. Yep. Yum." Rose wouldn't believe a word of it but Pearl needed to carry the lie. She had to.

 

"Don't lie to me, Pearl." Rose sighed. "You're a terrible liar, I can always tell when you do. You need to eat. If you don't, your knee will never get better. And you're going to faint in classes again." She had an idea, quickly checked the time. "How about I get you some lunch?"

 

"I'm sure that's a violation of some protocol," Pearl replied, squinting. She was fucked, and not in the way she wanted to be.

 

"What, getting lunch for one of my students who has probably not eaten in days? There's nothing off protocol about that." It's not like they were... on a date or anything like that? She wondered if Pearl would think of it along those lines. Rose certainly didn't, she was really just making sure Pearl was okay.

 

"Please, Miss. No," Pearl pleaded, getting afraid. Desperate. "It'll ruin everything."

 

"It'll ruin what?" Pearl's three-day streak of not eating? Rose would be more than happy to ruin that. "It's just lunch, Pearl."

 

"I don't feel well enough, really." Pearl tried to backtrack. Come on, Pearl. Swerve away. But... extra time with Miss Quartz was tempting.

 

"You don't feel well because you've not eaten. It doesn't have to be a lot. I'm not going to ask you to eat a massive steak. Just... something. You'll feel better afterwards."

 

"I'm honestly not in the mood. Maybe next time. Really." Pearl swallowed. Come on. She could salvage her diet.

 

"Pearl... the only thing you're going to ruin is your health and your body if you keep avoiding food. You need food to stay alive. It's not your enemy, okay?" Rose remembered feeling ashamed of eating, feeling like eating was only going to make everything worse. Long periods of fasting were interrupted by binge-eating while crying. She never lost any weight, and instead she just felt awful all the time. "Please let me help you."

 

"H-help me? You can't!  You don't even understand." Pearl swallowed before realising she'd irritably snapped, yet again. "I'm sorry," she gasped as if she were needing air.  "I need to go."

 

"Go where? Your year has gym class right now and you don't participate in that, and your next class isn't going to be for another twenty minutes." Rose sighed. "Pearl, I probably understand better than you think."

 

"I don't want you to ruin my progress. I respect and care about you, but I feel good right now. That's not a usual thing." Pearl cautiously tread her way. Admitting to her problem for the first time.

 

"And... what progress would that be?" Rose thought it was probably best if she let Pearl explain rather than immediately telling her off; it seemed like Pearl was actually not overly opposed to talking about her problems for the moment, and Rose didn't want to alienate her again.

 

Pearl paused. Surely Rose had guessed already. Was she desiring a proper, full confession. No. She couldn't. Not in public. Not to her crush.

 

Pearl didn't answer.

"Pearl?" Rose asked, hesitantly. She looked around; the corridor they were in was deserted - everyone else was in classes. But still, someone could come any moment. Was Pearl worried because of that?

"If you'd rather talk in private, we can go back to my classroom," Rose offered.

 

"I think we'd better." Pearl finally nodded, accepting fate. "It's not something I really want everyone to hear. Or anyone, for that matter."

 

"Okay then, let's go." Rose's classroom was not very far. Rose unlocked the door and gestured for Pearl to step inside.

 

Pearl carefully nodded and ventured in. "I'm not going to be very revealing, you know." She gave a weak huff.

 

Rose smiled at her and shrugged. "It doesn't really matter how much you tell me. It's the first step, either way." She closed the door behind Pearl and sat down, inviting Pearl to sit down next to her with a gesture.

 

Pearl became a little dizzy at the prospect of sitting next to Rose. But did it anyway. "That's good. I don't know how to put it."

 

Rose looked at Pearl, completely serious. "You said something about progress earlier," she said gently, encouraging Pearl to talk.

 

"Progress on... starving." Pearl played with her hands, eyes dull and distant as she then played with her peach hair.

 

Rose swallowed heavily at Pearl's words. Dammit, she wasn't a psychologist, she wasn't technically equipped to deal with this. But she had to, because she doubted she'd get Pearl to see a professional about it. Just talking to Rose now was a huge step for her.

"Why... do you want that?" she asked.

 

"Because I want to be like them," Pearl hissed under her breath. "They're all perfect. Skinny hips, skinny bellies. Perfect. I want what they have - friends, admiration, relationships and a sense of worth because they are perfect."

 

Rose remembered. She knew the feeling far too well.

"And you think starving yourself will make you like them?" she asked gently.

 

"Precisely, Miss." It only made sense, after all. Anyone that thought otherwise was lying to themselves.

 

She sounded so convinced.

But then, at one time in her life, Rose had been too.

She didn't even know where to begin.

"You have friends, though, don't you? You had friends last year, are you not still in touch with them?" she asked.

 

"They're perfect, too! All dancers, like my sisters, in work and doing well! And here I am, like a broken bird. Hurt. Destroyed."

 

"But surely you know that your injury doesn't have to keep you from being successful." Rose might have added that being healthy was probably also important to be successful, but she felt that would be counterproductive at the moment, so she didn't.

 

"I wanted to dance and now I can't. It's what I was born to do and now I'm a weak and useless husk."

 

"It doesn't mean you can't be good at other things, though. You'll find other things you like, surely?"

 

"Yep, well, this is it." Pearl pointed to herself. "I'm becoming perfect, don't you see?"

 

"But Pearl, you are already one of the most skinny people I know. And you know your weight doesn't say anything about how perfect you are. Or not." Maybe she could use Pearl's crush on her to her advantage, if she was right about that in any case. Because Rose was anything but skinny. And in her case, Pearl probably didn't see that as a bad thing.

 

"I want to be the skinniest. The thinnest. Because at least that way, I'll be something. It doesn't matter about anyone else. I don't care. I just want to be the thinnest."

 

"You don't have to drive yourself to extremes to be someone or something. Especially when your health is suffering. You already are something, Pearl. You're a lovely and gifted young woman who's going to go far. You don't need to make yourself suffer to be someone."

 

"My health is fine. I feel better than before. Lighter. Happier."

 

"Pearl... you nearly passed out in class earlier. You look like you've not slept in days. You might feel like you're getting somewhere, but you'e ruining your body." Rose sighed.

 

"You don't know how much I crave to feel this way! I feel beautiful when I do this."

 

Rose hesitated for a long moment.

"Do you know what malnutrition does to your body?" she then asked softly. Maybe she could approach this from an educational point of view. "I can tell you, just from a biological point of view."

 

"Oh geeze. Not this again. Boo hoo, my muscles get eaten. What a shame. As if I was using them anyway."

 

"It's not just your muscles. But if you don't want to know, that's fine with me. It's just, there's a reason why I'm so worried about you."

 

"Fine." Pearl decided to be brave. She'd already stepped boundaries this far. "Go on then. Why are you so worried?"

 

"Well, you probably know the obvious ones. How you deplete your body's nutrient stores. But it messes with your metabolism all over. You'll end up losing hair and nails because your body can't sustain growing them anymore. Your bone marrow gets reduced and loses function so your body can't make as much blood anymore, you'll get anaemic. Your organs will start failing because they aren't getting enough sustenance. It can be fatal, you know. And it won't make you beautiful."

 

Pearl paused, deep in thought. Devastated. She then opened her mouth. "But it'll give me the attention they get. And that's what I want."

 

Rose sighed.

"Do you really think that starving yourself will make other people like you more?"

 

"No. It'll make me noticed, though," Pearl replied, completely out of it. "And won't that be fun? Finally. I'll be like them. Or I'll die trying. It doesn't really matter either way, does it?"

 

"You'll be pitied at best and ridiculed at worst. It's not the kind of attention you want."

 

"It's the only kind of attention I can get. I want to get. I want to be like them and this is how. I've already gotten compliments. I just don't know how to answer to them."

 

Rose sighed. Part of her longed to reach out to Pearl and hug her, because she was a tactile person and touch had always comforted her. But she couldn't. Pearl was her student.

Instead, she just said, "Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I've been paying you some attention. And it's not because you're thin, not primarily." Well, one could argue that it was her job, but Rose always did try to give a little bit more than just what was required of her for her job.

 

"No. You're just being a nuisance because you think you can make me change my mind. But I don't mind your attention at all." Pearl gave a wistful sigh and finally seemed to be lucid again. "I'm sure you've seen it all - you teach young women, after all. Go give them your love. They can be fixed."

 

"What makes you think you can't?" Rose asked simply.

 

"Because it isn't about disordered eating. You think that's what's wrong with me and you're only partially there. Even I don't know what it is, but it's bigger than me. And I just don't see myself escaping it." Pearl touched her bad knee. "Not with this old girl holding me out of commission."

 

"Even disordered eating is usually not 'just' disordered eating," Rose said. "Mental illnesses are complex. How would you feel about seeing someone about this? There are professional people out there who know how to help you better than I ever could."

 

"I don't know." Pearl finally sighed. "A part of me doesn't trust or want myself to get better. It'll just invalidate what I currently am and... this lifestyle is valid. It makes me not want to be upset but to seek after something. And when I don't, I just feel disgusted with myself."

 

"You can be happy and strive for something without ruining your health, Pearl. You're damaging yourself." Rose didn't think she needed to go over all the physiological implications again.

 

"I don't mind. I'm disposable. Well. People like me just happen to be. And I honestly don't see myself living that long."

 

"You're not disposable, Pearl." Rose shook her head, devastated at what she heard. "I've taught hundreds of students and I've never met anyone who was. Everyone has worth. Maybe you can't see that right now, but I can. Losing you is not an option."

 

"I'm not talking about you losing me today." Pearl gave a sad, melancholy laugh. "I'm not... not today. But I just. Don't see much worth in... this." She pointed at herself. "And it's been like that for years."

 

"I think you misunderstood. Losing you is not an option - ever. I've been in dark places before and thought there was no way out, but here I am, and I'm okay. You have a lot to live for, and many long years to discover that. And I see no reason for you not to get better."

 

"No. I think you misunderstand me, Miss." Pearl swallowed. She couldn't believe how disrespectful she was allowing herself to be. "I'm going to fade out one day - like a shooting star that doesn't quite ever hit the heavens. I'm too broken to get there. But I can support all those above me to rise."

 

"Well, if I have anything to do with it, I won't let that happen." Pearl's metaphors were very colourful. Maybe Rose should suggest Pearl go into writing. "Nobody is too broken."

 

Rose couldn't help but to smile at that, as sad as she was. "You're too kind, Miss." If only she didn't have to call the other 'Miss'. If only.

 

It was good to see Pearl smile. Rose smiled back.

"Will you eat something?" she asked gently. She checked the time: she did not have very long until the next lesson. "I'm afraid I won't be able to accompany you, though. I'll have to teach another class soon."

 

"Probably not." Well. If she was being honest. ”But I'll try fit something in after school, okay?"

 

After school? It was a few hours away, but she supposed Pearl would survive that long.

"Would you like me to come with you then?" she offered spontaneously, because she'd offered before, and because she could make sure Pearl was actually eating something.

 

Pearl blinked and looked at Rose. Huh. Well. That would certainly be interesting. Rose knew that she wouldn't behave around food with normality. She trusted her enough with this information. "Alright."

 

"Okay! Meet me at the staff room after classes?" Rose smiled at Pearl. It was a small step, but an important one.

 

"Sure. I'll be there." Pearl swallowed saliva. She then fidgeted for a good few seconds. "...Thanks."

 

"Anytime, Pearl. I'm proud of you." Rose smiled at her for a moment, then glanced at the clock again. "I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave now, though. My year nine class will be here in a few minutes."

 

"Understood. I'll, um, see you later, then!" Pearl gathered herself and made herself ready to leave. Still shaky and dizzy but her mood was of a vastly improved one.

 

Rose kept her eyes on Pearl as she left, smiling. She felt like she'd at least gotten through to her a little bit. Maybe Pearl would trust her enough to allow her to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The school is an all girls school. You’ll see other gems appearing as teachers later on!


	3. Act I - Chapter III: Lunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/), too!
> 
> Content warnings for this chapter: discussion of mental health issues, especially eating disorders, and vomiting.

 

Rose got through the rest of the day without incident and then made her way to the staff room after her last lesson, expecting to see Pearl there.

 

Indeed, she was. She still looked frail. It was perhaps following her confessions that the gravity of her own mistreatment to her body became visible. Thin wrists, legs that looked like they were held together by strings and magic. She still looked exhausted. But better. She also looked hopeful. And perhaps, that was enough to make a difference.

 

When Rose saw Pearl, she thought her student looked a little better - maybe because she actually confided in someone now? Rose smiled at her.

"Give me two minutes, I just have to get some things." She went into the staff room, grabbed her stuff, dumped the heavy textbooks and went back out again. "Okay, shall we? There's a nice cafe just around the corner, how does that sound?"

 

"Lovely, Miss." Pearl was going to try and keep formal. Whether she'd succeed was a different matter, but she knew she couldn't screw this up. It was important. Rose had caused her to blush too many times for it to be an idle crush and this sort of interaction was... inappropriate. She had to make it last.

 

Rose led the way to the small, quaint cafe which was really not far from the school. She picked out a table in the corner, next to the window. She waited for Pearl to sit down before picking up the menu.

 

"Order whatever you like. I'll pay," she said.

 

"Um... can we start with drinks first? It's a little scary trying to think of taking the next leap."

 

"Of course." Now that she'd gotten Pearl this far, she was more than willing to let her proceed at her own pace. "Feel free to take your time."

 

"Thanks." Pearl gave a nod. Thankful. "I'd just like some sparkling water, if that's alright."

 

"Okay." She really hoped Pearl would drink or eat something more than that, but she wasn't going to push. When the waiter came over, Rose smiled sweetly at him while ordering Pearl's water and her own tea (decaffeinated).

She wondered if she should use the opportunity to quiz Pearl a little about her life.

 

 

"So. Um. I hope there's not a partner out there that would mind you doing this... with me..." The joke didn't just fall flat- it flat out bombed. Pearl grew almost twitchy at the seriously awful joke to make at an outing with a teacher! Crush or not, ...oh dear.

 

Rose took a moment to process what Pearl had just said, and then she laughed.

"Oh, Pearl. You're precious, you know that?" She really hardly could have made it more obvious.

Rose smiled, then grew more serious. "Not that there actually is anyone.” At least not anyone whose business it was who Rose had lunch with.

 

"Oh. That's good. Not that we are doing anything weird or that'd possibly upset someone. Haha. That would just be silly." Deeper down in her hole Pearl went.

 

Rose just smiled, inwardly amused.

"Exactly. I'm your teacher. It's not even a possibility." She felt like she was being sarcastic, but actually, it was true. She'd had situations like these before. She never let them get out of hand or go any further than questionably questionable. She was positive that Pearl would be just the same.

 

It was remarkably similar to a meme Pearl had seen. A cold sweat broke on her forehead. "Haha, yup! Indeed! Correct!" She was ready to both leave the café and life in general.

 

Rose's smile faded.

"Relax, Pearl. It's all okay, okay?" She wasn't going to let this get out of control - in any direction. She cared about Pearl way too much to let that happen.

 

Pearl suddenly wished her cup was full of liquor. Hot damn. She nervously nodded. "Don't worry. I'm fine. I'm just. Hah."

 

"Don't worry about it, Pearl." Rose wanted to add something, but the waiter came over a moment later.

"Would you like to order any food?" he asked.

Rose asked for a toasted sandwich and then looked at Pearl questioningly.

 

"I'll have the, uh, salad. Yes. Salad." Could she GET any more pretentious?

 

Rose had expected Pearl to go for something light and low calorie, so she didn't visibly react when Pearl asked for the salad. At least it was something. The waiter nodded, took a note of their orders and disappeared.

 

"Phew! Well. That was exciting!" Pearl started to grow uneasy. Too fidgety. "Salads sure are great!"

 

Rose smiled, gentle. "Calm down, Pearl. There's no need to be uncomfortable. You don't need to hide from me."

 

Pearl paused. Wishing she was gently touched - as gently as those words. She almost shivered at the thought and took a deep breath. "Alright. Thank you, Miss."

 

"No worries." Rose was tempted to reach out and put her hand on Pearl's shoulder, but she resisted the temptation. "So when are your parents back in town?" she asked instead, because she vaguely remembered Pearl telling her that they weren't home at the moment.

 

"In the next few days. Not too sure when." Pearl lazily played with the cutlery on the table. ”Don't really care, to be honest."

 

"They're your parents," Rose said, surprised. "But then... you're an adult, right? And your sisters are older than you?" She wasn't exactly sure about that, but she thought that was the case.

 

"Aurora's a receptionist for one of the local schools. Not sure about where Blue's at, but it's pretty high up." Pearl frowned, disliking talking about her sisters. "Haven't spoken to them in a few months."

 

"You don't like your sisters." It was an observation, a mere fact. Rose wondered why. Was it because Pearl was jealous, like she'd alluded to before?

 

"They're fine. They just upset me a lot growing up." Pearl messed with her own hair. "They were good at everything. Even better then me at dance but neither pursued it."

 

So it was jealousy. Rose nodded. "But surely they helped you, too?" she asked.

 

"No. Not really." Pearl swallowed. "It isn't something I'm all that happy talking about, to be honest. I'm pretty vindictive over some of the things they did and said."

 

"That's ok," Rose said, smiling. "Well, I don't have siblings, so I guess I wouldn't understand, right?" Sometimes, when she heard people's sibling stories, she really was glad she'd grown up an only child.

 

"Hah. Indeed." Pearl shrugged. "That's okay, though. I don't mind not talking about it."

 

"Okay then. Is there anything you would like to talk about?" There was nothing wrong with letting Pearl guide the conversation, after all.

 

"Well. Now that you say it... I know all too little about you, Miss. Unless that's going too far."

 

"Probably not." Rose smiled at Pearl. "What would you like to know?"

 

"Anything! Anything, honestly. Teachers are always such a mystery." Pearl flushed, a little embarrassed.

 

Rose laughed gently. "We're just ordinary people, you know," she said. "Whose job happens to be teaching young people like yourself. "

 

"Yes but like... how do you get into the role? When did you know you wanted to teach?"

 

"Well, I knew I wanted to work with children from a pretty young age. I used to do a lot of babysitting, youth groups, that sort of thing. And in school, I really liked biology, so I decided I'd combine the two and become a teacher. And now I'm here."

 

"Huh." Pearl gave a slow nod. As if she'd expected something utterly fantastical but perhaps, the mundaness of it all was all too perfect. She expected Rose to be extraodinary because Rose was extraordianry. She deserved better.

 

Rose chuckled at Pearl's reaction. "Disappointed?" she asked. Not that she really expected Pearl to be; after all, teachers were just normal humans, and surely Pearl was smart enough to realise that. But then, Rose did remember idolising her teachers when she'd been at school, and not really seeing them as humans.

 

"Oh, no. Just years of fantasies gone to waste." Pearl rolled her eyes. Little did Rose know how much truth she spoke. "Oh well. What a shame. So..." She coughed. What was she meant to talk about? Anything to keep Rose off her tail.

 

Rose grinned and raised her eyebrows at Pearl's remark about fantasies. "I see," she said. She suspected that although Pearl was obviously trying to pass it off as a sarcastic remark, there was probably a lot of truth to it.

"What do your parents do?" she asked.

 

"My father's a CEO. Don't see him around very often. Mother's... Mum's interesting. I don't actually know. She kind of goes inbetween jobs here and there and it's hard to keep track. Sometimes they'll be in. Sometimes they'll be out. Haven't seen them much since I stopped dancing."

 

From what Pearl said, Rose took that she didn't actually talk to her parents much despite living with them. She wondered if this was the result of neglect or maybe just plain disinterest. Or maybe Pearl isolated herself...?

"Do you still see your friends from last year a lot?" Rose asked, already almost sure she knew the answer.

 

"Nah. Not really." It seemed like a melancholy subject from the way the light left Pearl's eyes.

 

 

"Have they moved away for university or something?" Rose asked gently.

 

"Most likely." Pearl had a steely glimmer in her eye. She wanted to shut it down.

 

"You... don't know?" This surprised Rose. She would have expected Pearl to stay in contact with her friends, at least.

 

"No. I don't know." Pearl voice became all too edgy. Her body language became more stiff.

 

"You've not kept in touch? I would have thought..." Rose fell silent. As far as she knew, this basically now meant Pearl had no friends. No family she was particularly close to. No one to confide in. No one to keep her company.

Rose's heart ached at the thought.

 

Pearl shrugged, clearly trying to keep herself calm. "We don't exactly have the same... interests, you see. They let me go. No big deal." She swallowed. Her eyes stinging as she fought tears.

 

Rose clenched her teeth.

"Losing friends is always a big deal," she said softly. "And you've not really made friends in your current year group, have you?" She hoped she wasn't going too far. Pearl had only just started letting her in, after all. Nevertheless, she reached over to Pearl and squeezed her shoulder lightly, reassuringly.

 

This caused a certain 'eep' noise before it was swiftly silenced. Pearl swallowed air, eyes wide before looking around, the hairs on her neck standing up all over. "No. I haven't," she finally admitted, though it wasn't really much news.

 

"So... I take it you don't really talk to anyone about your... issues?" It was indeed rather worrying. People in Pearl's age (or any age, really) needed friends to confide in, to talk to about their problems, to do things with. Rose knew she could never really be a friend to Pearl, but at least she could try to be someone Pearl trusted and talked to now and then.

 

"Not that I have all that many issues," Pearl lied. "I'm honestly alright. I'd rather not worry anyone. It's just not in my nature."

 

Rose smiled patiently.

"You do realise, don't you, that we're currently here because I realised that you've not eaten in days?"

 

Pearl avoided the gaze. "I don't see my actions as a problem."

 

"But you said earlier, you said it yourself." Rose thought back on the conversation she'd had with Pearl in her classroom. "You said it wasn't even just an eating disorder, but bigger than that, and that you couldn't see a way out, and that you were just going to... fade one day. That - Pearl, that doesn't sound like someone who doesn't have issues."

 

Pearl gritted her teeth. Rose had her there. "But that's just... I want to fix what I have wrong on my own terms. I know what I'm doing."

 

"Did you know," Rose said slowly, "that even doctors are strongly advised against treating themselves? The same goes for professional psychotherapists. Those people know exactly what they're doing, they've studied it. But they still aren't supposed to just follow their own judgement alone. It's not that I don't trust your judgement," she added quickly, "but nobody needs to face things like this by themselves."

 

“I'm not facing anything out of the ordinary,” Pearl lied as she glanced beyond her shoulder, her hair softly cascading over the closed palm that was holding her chin up. “I've got a very… concrete idea of what I want from myself. And I know any doctor I go to won't agree to it being a good idea. But I know what I want. It's… akin to self medication but without the medicine.”

 

“Not anything out of the ordinary?” Rose shook her head slightly. “Pearl, you’re hurting yourself. You might think it’s what you want, but it’s not sustainable. You won’t be able to survive. You won’t be happy. You remember what I told you about the physical effects of starving, right? Do you really think you can go through all of that, be in pain constantly, have your body slowly wither away, and still be happy?”

 

“It isn't about me being… happy.” Pearl looked awkwardly to the kitchens. Dreading. “It's about me finally being something better than what I am. But that's enough. I-if you don't mind, I'd quite like to change the subject.” The last two sentences came out hoarse. As if they'd tipped out. It was clearly treading on fresh wounds.

 

Rose swallowed, then nodded. “Okay. Sorry. I didn’t - um. What do you want to talk about?” She noticed Pearl’s anxious glances to the kitchen, and wondered if Pearl would even be able to eat in public at all. Was she pushing her too hard?

 

Pearl managed a sharp inhale. “Why are you so worried about me?” Too direct. Too straight forward. She nearly panicked as the words drily stumbled out of her mouth. “You're going awfully far for a student. The last time I checked, it'd be easier to call in someone. Get problematic people like me out of your hair.” Out of those glossy, thick curls. She couldn't help but to keep her eyes tailed on the way they gently waved in the breeze. She wanted to touch the mane. She couldn't. She glanced down.

 

It made Rose think for a moment. Why, indeed, was she? Apart from the fact that she was worried about anyone who was in immediate danger of being hurt - by others or, in fact, by themselves.

“It’s what I do,” she said simply, after a few moments. “I care about people, so I worry about them. Why should you be an exception to that?”

 

“There's a difference between concern and actual action. It's just odd to me that you've gone this far.” Pearl nearly brought her frail knees up to hug. Looking small. Tiny. Fragile. “What if I did something right now? You'd be held responsible. But you're here. With me. You must trust me a fair bit, Miss.”

 

“Concern without action doesn’t really change anything, does it? And I’m at least going to try to help.” Rose gave Pearl a small smile. The girl looked so vulnerable. “If you did something, then I’d try my best to stop you. And if I failed, I’d accept responsibility. This isn’t about me, Pearl.”

 

“I see.” Pearl gave a non-committal response. Almost disappointed by something but… it didn't seem as if she was going to reveal what. She appeared almost torn to ask something else, a small frown painting it's way onto her sunken cheeks. She then spoke. “I'll be honest, Miss. I'm very scared of embarrassing myself with all this. I'm very, very scared of looking like some sort of daft fool when the food comes because I don't know how I'll react to trying to eat for the first time in days. I don't want to waste money or food either. A part of me feels like I'm just going to regret absolutely anything I do today. I'm going to fuck up no matter what right in front of you and… it's really, really going to hurt me.”

 

Rose was stunned silent for a moment by Pearl’s confession.

“For what it’s worth,” she then said, “I won’t think any worse of you, no matter what you do. But - having said that, is there any way I can help you more, or make this easier for you?”

 

Pearl glanced away. Swallowing. Her eyes then returned back to Rose. Looking at her teacher up and down as she exhaled with a slight tremble. “I'm not sure. But. I'm also very excited to be here with you, Miss. It's… very... “ She paused, trying to find a way to say it without sounding as if she were some desperate, lovestruck child. Yet again, only her face displayed its true feelings with a rosy blush on the tips of her pallid cheekbones. “it's hard to describe.”

 

Rose watched Pearl closely. Her student seemed uncomfortable, but not just because of the prospect of food. She wanted to reassure Pearl again, that it was all okay. "We're just having lunch, Pearl," she said gently.

 

"Yeah." Pearl's lip curled. A tremor in her voice. Almost as if she was... rejected. "Of course. Only having lunch. Nothing more. I'm sorry for being such a trouble over it."

 

Rose could tell Pearl was disappointed at this. She sighed. "I'm your teacher, Pearl. You know I can't realistically do more than lunch with you. That is, unless there's something you can think of that I can do to help you more."

 

Pearl glanced up, shrinking into her seat. Had she not known for definite she'd not eaten, she would have panicked over having eaten caterpillars easier in the day due to the hoard of butterflies in her rumbling belly. "W-What do you mean? I'm... perfectly content with just lunch! I'm... haha... I'm okay!"

 

Pearl was really rather cute when flustered, and Rose allowed a small smile to play on her lips. "You're not very good at hiding that you like me," she said bluntly. "I just don't want you to foster any kind of... hopes that anything beyond this can or will happen." She realised that actually, if she'd met Pearl independently of school, she'd probably not turn her down. But that was not for Pearl to know.

 

Pearl's baby blue eyes widened like a frozen rabbit in headlights. She stood up. "I need to go."

 

"Pearl - " Rose grimaced. She hadn't meant to scare her away. "It's okay. Please, you don't need to run. It's not a big deal, okay? These things happen. Will you stay, please?"

 

Pearl hesitated. Unable to look Rose in the face. "I need to go." She repeated.

 

Rose breathed out, then reached out to touch Pearl's arm gently. "It would mean a lot to me if you stayed," she said.

 

 

 

The touch felt so soft. Pearl looked at Rose's hand. It was bigger than two of her own. Or perhaps she was just that small. Her pale, veiny wrist so strange compared to Rose's peachier tint. The touch felt like fire and ice at the same time. She felt pinpricks. Nearly shivering like something out of a Studio Ghibli film. "Okay." Her response was so quiet it was as if she mouthed it.

 

Pearl's response was so quiet Rose strained to understand it, but she relaxed visibly when Pearl said it. "Thank you," Rose said gently. "It means a lot." She felt like adding something, something about how knowing about Pearl's feelings didn't make her want to help any less, but rather more, maybe because she knew she was important to Pearl and had some kind of leverage to get through to her - but she didn't say any of that, because she'd already almost scared Pearl away once and she wasn't really going to do that again.

 

So. The cat was truly out of the bag. With the power of sudden hindsight, Pearl nearly slapped herself. So stupid. She could have denied it. She could have literally said anything else but no. She was so stupid. She gently sat down, jumping as the chair scraped the concrete. "I'm sorry," she added, as if it was going to do anything. "I really am."

 

Rose found it a little odd that Pearl apologised to her. People had crushes on teachers all the time. It had happened to Rose a few times before. It did wonders for her self esteem if she noticed, but other than that she thought little of it. “Don’t worry about it,” she told Pearl. “It doesn’t actually change anything. I’m still your teacher, and I’m still going to buy you lunch and I’m still willing to help you get better.”

As if on cue, their food arrived. Rose thanked the waiter and took a bite from her toastie while keeping an eye on Pearl and her salad.

 

Pearl nervously prodded at the leaves. Truth be told, it looked delicious. She nearly began to salivate as she stared down at it. A spectrum of wild rocket formed a leafy bed, covered with bell peppers, fresh tomatoes and cucumbers, topped with pine nuts, herbs and feta cheese. Her stomach audibly rumbled, but her expression stayed so very disciplined and neutral. She prodded at the leaves. Again. And again.

 

Rose watched Pearl stare at the salad, not eating it, merely prodding it with her fork. Her expression seemed to betray something between desire and anxiety, but she didn’t falter even when her stomach audibly rumbled.

Rose’s heart ached.

“Your body needs it, Pearl,” she said gently, softly.

 

That was the cue for Pearl to actually put a fork down on the plate. But, her mind had other tactics. She forced a curled, purple rocket leaf into her mouth and then began to slowly fuss with the food on her plate. Stacking the salad and then pushing it around on her plate. Spreading it to make it look like there was less. "So. How's yours?" She glanced up, voice crisp. No longer anxious. Determined.

 

Rose was half finished with her sandwich before Pearl had even taken her first bite. Rose watched with a worried crease between her eyes how Pearl just pushed her food around on her plate without eating it. "It's good," Rose said. She didn't comment on Pearl's behaviour.

 

"Mm. Totally. They're so good here," Pearl lied. Her voice was tired but her blue eyes, so glassy before, now glowed in that steely manner. She tried to relax, but there was a clear air of threat that loomed over her. As if she was defending her king in a particularly difficult game of chess. No forkful in that disciplined mouth. But somehow, the plate looked less full with her play.

 

Rose was watching Pearl carefully, and even though her plate looked a little less full, Rose knew for a fact Pearl hadn’t actually eaten any of it.

“You should really eat some more,” she said patiently, giving Pearl an encouraging nod. She put down her knife and fork to take a sip from her drink, but didn’t actually pick up her cutlery again after, leaving the rest of her toastie to get cold.

 

Pearl quickly stuffed another forkful into her mouth and chewed. Her tone flat as she stared at her teacher. "There."

 

Rose stared back, unfazed. "I've got all day," she offered. She wasn't going to let Pearl off without having eaten anything in days, and while she realised that Pearl probably needed professional help, she knew Pearl was nowhere near ready for that yet.

 

Checkmate. Pearl gave a deep frown. "I'm full," she replied, equally as unfazed. Staring Rose down. Looking away would be so nice. She didn't deserve to look at Rose. But equally, her caloric intake couldn't be any higher. It... it just couldn't! She took a sudden, shuddery breath. Feeling the corners of her eyes moisten. Oh no. Ohhhh no. Not now. She couldn't cry now.

 

"You've hardly eaten anything," Rose said. "In days." She was still watching Pearl closely, so immediately noticed when the girl showed signs of crying. She'd figured it might come to this, but still didn't really know what to do. "You can finish it later," she said, trying not to show her uncertainty. "Like I said, I've got time."

 

"You can't keep me here," Pearl replied. The crack in her voice suggested a slight terror. Fear. Uncertainty. It was as if she saw herself under the teacher's command, even at her age, even outside of school.

 

"That's true, I technically can't. I'm just hoping you'll stay anyway. I enjoy your company." It wasn't a lie. Rose genuinely hoped Pearl wouldn't think that it was. It was difficult, maybe, but not unpleasant. Pearl was... intriguing.

 

Pearl looked up. Blinking. The validation made her heart flutter like no other. "Is that really so?" It would be rude to leave in that case.

 

"Yes, absolutely." Rose smiled at Pearl. "And I can't actually say that about all of my students." Rather few of them, actually. And Rose kind of doubted she would have offered Pearl lunch if Pearl hadn't been somewhat intriguing.

 

A deep flush hit Pearl like an oncoming truck. God, she felt like an absolute mess. Embarrassing. "Thank you." Pearl admitted after a few minutes. "That actually means... a lot."

 

Rose smiled at her openly. "You're welcome," she said. She'd hoped it'd have that effect on Pearl, actually, so she was pleased. "Look, Pearl," she then said gently. "I know you have your reasons for not eating, and I'm not going to pry. But it's important that you eat. At this point, what you're doing is actually dangerous to yourself and I don't want that."

 

"I still have some way to go," Pearl admitted. "Only a couple more stone. I hate having muscle mass. It makes me so heavy. But soon it'll be eaten away and I'll be fine. I know what I'm doing. They just don't want me to be perfect."

 

Rose was willing to bet that she would be able to pick up Pearl easily, just as she would a small child, as thin as she was. There was nothing about Pearl that was 'heavy'. Couldn't she see that she was already way beyond anything that was sane? "Your muscles are there for a reason, Pearl," Rose said. "You need them to move and to keep your posture and to keep the blood flowing in your veins. You're already so thin it's practically a miracle you can even still walk for longer than five minutes without collapsing."

 

"No. I'm too heavy. I'm too big," Pearl replied, eerily quiet. Like a mantra. "Miss, with all due respect, I'm sort of tired of hearing that what I'm doing isn't right. It isn't helpful. I know people... online. They're friendly. They're my friends. And they're doing the same thing. We all are. I want to be as pretty as them, too."

 

Rose felt mild horror at the fact that the internet now permitted young people to encourage each other’s destructive behaviours, but then also a small pang of relief at the fact that Pearl at least had people to talk to, even if it was just online.

“You have online communities for these things?” she asked, her voice coloured by surprise.

 

"Yes. Although some of the girls are very young, they're disciplined. The very kind of discipline I wish to achieve and need to achieve to receive my ideal self. Until then, this charade of issues with food will continue, for you see, Miss." Pearl's gaze turned dark. The trap, she decided, was set. "I do have plans. And unfortunately for your elevated concern, as suspect as it may be, it includes me dropping a minimum of two more... stone."

 

Rose inhaled sharply at Pearl's words.

Two stone. Was she serious? Rose had no evidence to the contrary. Two stone - if Rose said she wanted to lose two stone, many people would applaud her. It might even be healthy, although Rose doubted that rather a lot. Not after her previous experiences with trying to lose weight.

If Pearl lost two stone, the way she was now?

No, Rose decided, there was no way she was going to let that happen.

"That would almost certainly kill you," she said, trying to keep her voice calm.

 

 

 

"Excellent." Pearl smiled, brightly. "The sooner the better. Whatever comes first. But please, don't get into my way. I was having such good luck with it before your meddling." She then clasped both the knife and fork together and looked at the plate. "That'll be all, I think. I really am so very full."

 

Rose managed a sad smile.

"Of course I'm going to get in your way. You're a danger to yourself. Eat some more, Pearl."

 

"You can't make me."

 

"No, I can't." Rose sighed. "But I can call an ambulance if you don't. You just admitted suicidal intentions to me. That's a medical emergency."

 

"You can't prove it." Pearl face began to redden. "I'm a model student. They won't believe you if they consult me."

 

"They'll believe me rather than you. They don't have any reason to doubt me. It's not far-fetched to believe that you are unstable."

 

Pearl gave a deep frown. "I feel threatened. I think I have the grounds to go home."

 

"I did nothing to threaten you," Rose said. "Keeping you from harming yourself is hardly a threat, is it? Please, eat."

 

"Stop it," Pearl hissed. Standing up. "Stop it! I don't like this!"

 

Rose knew she could easily reach out to take Pearl's arm again, but didn't.

"Please sit down, Pearl," she said.

 

Pearl hesitated. Opened her mouth and then closed it. And then sat down. She waited a minute before speaking. "I could go home. Why am I not going home?"

 

Rose let out a small breath of relief when Pearl didn't make a run for it, but actually sat back down.

"I appreciate it either way," she said gently. She wasn't daring to hope that she was maybe getting through to Pearl, but at this rate, every second that Pearl didn't spend running away from her was counted as a success.

 

Pearl seemed shaken. Trembling like a newly hatched chick. "Why... why does it keep happening? These feelings? These unhealthy relationships. You could make me do anything because of how I feel."

 

Rose's eyes widened.

"I hadn't - it's interesting you see it that way." Pearl probably had a point. "I'm not doing anything to hurt you, though."

 

"I don't trust you. You know too much. But I don't want to disobey or upset you but it contradicts my plans." Pearl nervously tightened her wrists into little balls. "I am scared. I feel sick."

 

"I understand that," Rose said. "Do you, at least, believe me when I say I have no ill intent towards you?"

 

"I... don't know. I want to believe you. I want to believe everything. But I'm also suspicious. It's... hard."

 

Rose thought for a moment.

"Pearl," she then said. "Why do you think I brought you here today?"

 

"Not for the pleasure of my company, I assume?" A nervous chuckle. Eyes wide.

 

Rose almost smiled.

"You are right, that was not the only reason."

 

"Enlighten me, then." Pearl's voice sounded raw.

 

"I was rather hoping you could tell me." Rose did not break eye contact.

 

"How could I possibly know more than my own teacher? It's your reasoning."

 

"What do you think my reasoning was, then? Don't worry," Rose added, "it's not a test, I just want to know if you understand why you're here."

 

"I don't understand," Pearl admitted. "I don't really see a reason."

 

Rose looked down at Pearl's nearly untouched plate, then at her student's hollow-looking face and her wrists, so pale and tiny in comparison to Rose's own.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

 

"Yes. I am sure." Pearl rolled her eyes, the blue had turned completely dull. Tired. Rings under her eyes enabling her to pull off a damn good zombie.

 

Rose didn't quite know if Pearl was being serious or just stubborn. Earlier, Pearl seemed to be rather aware of the fact that she had a problem, but now, she just seemed to block all of Rose's attempts to get through to her. Maybe Rose was moving too fast. But Pearl still hadn't eaten more than a few leaves of salad.

"We're here because I was worried about you," Rose said.

 

Pearl paused. "Oh right. That. I didn't realise we hadn't moved on from that." She sighed. "Please let it go? There's no point in talking about it."

 

"Sure, I'll let it go." Rose didn't break eye contact. "As soon as you eat some more. We can talk about other things while you eat."

 

Pearl grabbed the fork. "Please don't make me eat." She bit her pale lip. "I don't want to."

 

She wasn't getting anywhere, Rose could see that. If she kept badgering Pearl, Pearl would just close off and probably never let Rose help her again. She needed to change tactics.

What was that Pearl had said before -? _'You could make me do anything because of how I feel'_.

Rose shifted a little closer, then carefully and deliberately placed a hand on Pearl's thigh.

 

 

"Pearl," she said, her voice almost like a caress. "It would mean a lot to me if you did."

 

Pearl gaped. Audibly. Sensually. Her eyes widened as her frail heart pounded like war drums. She licked her lips and uncoiled from her frigid tension with a shiver and promptly propelled a forkful in her mouth.

 

It worked! Rose had hardly dared to hope.

She needed to be careful. If Pearl's feelings for her were strong enough to break through that iron-cast discipline of hers, then she really needed to be careful. Not let it get too far.

"Thank you, Pearl," she said, squeezing her thigh just a little.

 

Pearl may as well have melted. Another forkful. Another and another. As if she never truly had a problem eating ever. Her eyes still fixed on the plate but with a distant glaze. Cheeks red. Senses ready to cling onto whatever Rose would generously give her.

 

It was good to see Pearl eat. Rose relaxed, hardly having realised she was tense in the first place, and lightly stroked her thumb over Pearl's thigh. It was surprising, really, how quickly and without hesitating Pearl would eat when prompted the right way.

 

Restless, her other knee began to bounce as she laid the fork down and patted herself down with a napkin. The plate was empty. Gone. All of it. Every pine nut and piece of rocket. She blinked back into lucidity. "W-What now?"

 

Rose watched Pearl eat, then smiled at her. "I'm proud of you, Pearl."

What now? She hadn't really planned until this point, really. "I guess we pay and leave? It's already quite late, and I'm sure you have homework to do." So did Rose, but she didn't mention that. "I'd like to do this again, though," she added. If only to make sure Pearl actually ate.

 

Pearl swallowed. "But you... I can't do that again." It returned. That coldness. There was an element of shame in her eyes. As if she'd just done a sin she'd repent. "Be right back. Toilet. I'll go and freshen up before we leave."

 

Rose could feel Pearl tensing up again. She wasn't going to lose her again, so she squeezed Pearl's thigh lightly. "Of course we can. It's just lunch, isn't it?" Her other hand reached into her bag to take out the purse when Pearl said she wanted to go to the toilet.

Rose's eyes widened. "Absolutely! I need to go too, I'm coming with. Let me just pay beforehand, okay?"

 

"Oh, no, I really must go now." Pearl could feel Rose's concern and suspicion resting on her like a ton of bricks. "I'm desperate. I have severe... um. Colitis. Wait, that's stupid. Ibs! Yes. The very common, unexplained and irrational condition where I urgently require to excuse myself. Right now."

 

Rose raised an eyebrow. "I thought maybe you'd gotten over trying to lie to me." She withdrew her hand to fiddle with her bag, then got up. "Come on, I'm going to pay." It had only been gone a second, but her hand was back, now resting on Pearl's lower back instead of her thigh.

 

"Miss, please I'm not trying to li...e." Pearl shuddered at the touch and this time dared to look at Rose, giddy. "Miss. Please. I don't know what... I'm doing. You're doing."

 

"Doing?" Rose's voice sounded entirely innocent. "I'm just buying you lunch because I'm worried about your eating habits. I'm not doing anything." She went up to the counter, her hand still on Pearl's back, only to withdraw it once she'd reached her destination. "Table... seventeen, was it? Yeah, paying together." She was acutely aware of Pearl's presence right next to her.

 

"I really need to go." Pearl was tense. She then glanced up at her teacher, the most innocent look snaking up her expression. "Please, Miss... I need to." She then pretended to cross her legs. "I'm desperate. This is embarrassing."

 

"Just a moment, Pearl." Rose held her hand out for the change, then put her wallet into her bag and smiled at the waiter, who looked a little confused, but pointed towards a sign that said "Toilets".

"Thank you! Come on, Pearl." She put a gentle hand on Pearl's shoulder and steered her towards the loos.

 

Pearl skittered into a cubicle and locked the door. The second it closed, she released an angry sigh. Could she do this subtly? No. Too much noise.

 

Rose was still paying close attention to Pearl, listening and watching for signs of trouble. She heard Pearl's angry sigh and took that as confirmation that she'd been right in her suspicion and that it had, indeed, been a very good idea to accompany Pearl to the bathrooms.

She quickly went herself, then washed her hands. While waiting for Pearl, she took out her phone. The guy she'd had a date with three weeks ago had texted her. Rose frowned; she wasn't exactly sure about this guy. But right now, Pearl was her priority anyway.

 

Pearl anxiously paced in her cubicle, bending over and softly pressing two of her slender fingers into the back of her mouth, flicking the roof. She hitched a breath and coughed as she gagged. She was... awful at puking. She could already feel her eyes puffy and angrily sat down on the seat without lifting it up. She put her head into her hands. Giving up.

 

Rose heard Pearl coughing and looked up, mildly alarmed, but when no sound followed, she lowered her eyes back onto her phone.

_'Hey sweetie, wanna meet up for coffee this weekend?'_

She knew exactly what he meant by 'coffee', and it probably wouldn't include consuming hot beverages. Her mouth twitched into a smile at the thought. Still not sure, though.

 

Pearl pretended to flush the toilet and came out, defeated. "Great. Thanks for being so... patient."

 

Rose's attention was captured by Pearl again, who came out of her cubicle. Rose smiled at her. "No problem at all." She suddenly made up her mind about Rob, and texted him back quickly as Pearl was washing her hands.

 

Pearl let the drier work its magic and glanced up. "So. I think this is where we split up. I'm sure you've got plenty of things to do and if I run home quick enough I might still have a chance to... catch up on my favorite TV show."

 

Rose looked up from her phone and frowned.

She knew she should probably not let Pearl go unsupervised, but she also knew that she'd already stretched the amount of time she could reasonably spend time with her by quite a big margin. But did she trust Pearl not to go home and puke everything straight up as soon as she was left alone? Absolutely not.

On the other hand, Pearl was right about Rose having plenty of things to do. Being a teacher was a lot more work than most people realised. With a small sigh, Rose nodded. "You're right. But Pearl?" She stepped a little closer to her student and gently touched her arm.

 

Pearl blinked, breath seizing up at the touch. She was a doe again, fragile, gracefully nearly backing down. Looking at Rose with those big, blue eyes before awkwardly looking down. "Y-yes, Miss Quartz?"

 

Pearl's reaction was rather satisfying to watch, although Rose would never admit that. She smiled at Pearl.

"I know you don't want to keep down the food you just ate. But - could you do it anyway? For me?" Her voice was like velvet.

 

Pearl's lower lip dropped for a brief second before being lightly chewed in anxiety. The pink, squishy flesh coated in a light amount of glittery gloss. Interesting, for someone who hadn't taken all that much care of themselves. "How can you read me so well, Miss? Am I just that obvious or are you just that perfect?" She dared if Rose could dare to be so bold.

 

Rose's eyes dropped down to Pearl's lips only for a split second before she drew back, just a little. "You've given me plenty of hints, Pearl."

 

Pearl gave a faux sigh. "True. I suppose I can't help being so... stupid. Disgusting. I suppose you've had your share of bullimics to deal with, too. I must be another one for the pile of other thin obsessed little girls." She gave a weak smile, looking at Rose with a little fire. "I don't mind, though. I know just how bad I am. But I do appreciate you reminding me."

 

Rose was taken aback.

"I - I didn't mean it like that," she said. "You're not stupid or disgusting, you just - have a problem." She swallowed.

 

"As does everyone. But they don't get their teacher paying for quality Greek salad. I see exactly how it is."

 

Rose frowned.

"I don't know what exactly you think is happening here, and I'm not sure I want to know. You should go home, Pearl." Her hand still lingered on Pearl's arm; she gave it a little squeeze. "Consider my request, though."

 

"I'll do my best." Pearl looked away, salty. "That's all I can do." And with that, she turned and left, making her way out.

 

Rose did nothing to stop her; she watched her as she left, just hoping Pearl wouldn't actually do anything to hurt herself.

She'd see her in classes tomorrow, Rose reassured herself. She'd probably act like nothing happened. Maybe Pearl would avoid her. But she'd see her in class.

 

Pearl sprinted home when she was out of sight. The second she made it in, the phone voicemail began to lecture her. "Hi, Pearl. I just spoke to your father and we're going to be another week. Aurora's going to come and visit just to... check you're alright." Pearl choked with embarrassment. Eighteen years old and still no trust. She was an adult and of course they sent Aurora. The perfect blonde little secretary with the big wallet. The big bonus. And most likely her supervisor's panties. Pearl gritted her teeth. How skinny would her sister be? How great would she look? Compared to... her. She looked in the mirror, eyes covered with bags. Skin barely stretching over her face.

"Disgusting," she sighed. And walked upstairs to vomit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pearl's sisters are Yellow Pearl (Aurora) and Blue Pearl (Blue).
> 
> Also, the guy Rose is currently seeing is an OC – as are other people she has seen in the past who may become relevant later! Will Greg be making an appearance? Wait and see. :D


	4. Act I - Chapter IV: Helicopter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> Content warnings for this chapter: discussions of mental health issues and suicide.

The evening for Rose was long and kind of lonely. She could barely concentrate on her work, and by the time she was finished preparing everything for the next day and marking the second years' tests, it was approaching midnight.

She sighed heavily. Pearl was still on her mind. Rose had gotten her to eat today, but it wasn't going to be enough. She couldn't supervise her all the time, or get her to eat three times a day while paying attention so Pearl didn't puke it all back up again. She didn't really know what to do.

Rose slept uneasily, hoping she would come up with something the next day, when she would surely see Pearl in class.

 

Pearl got up. Eyes widening as rays of sunlight filtered in. No alarm. She internally panicked before looking at the clock and realising it was only 7 am.

Huh.

She gathered herself, more energised than yesterday morning. She steadily made herself ready before... she realised her sister would be here later. She may as well have said goodbye to her manicure as her nails were instantly clipped by nervous teeth.

 

Sixth form biology wasn't until after lunch. Rose was experienced enough not to let her worry about Pearl show as she taught the younger students, but it was never far from her mind.

During lunch, she briefly wondered if Pearl had found the time to look at the extra material Rose had given her. She doubted it. Oh well - she was going to find out soon enough, she thought to herself as she headed to her classroom.

 

The whole day Pearl had nervously spent leafing through the work Rose had given. She'd only stopped for a long due English lesson where she'd side eyed Lazuli the entire time. Really, she had. By the time it got to Rose's lesson, she'd found her stomach aching from anxiety.

 

Rose noticed her right away, as soon as she walked in. Pearl was with the other people from her year, although she wasn't interacting with any of them. Rose couldn't really tell if Pearl looked better or worse than yesterday. She didn't seem to be fainting, which was good; Rose still doubted that Pearl had eaten anything since yesterday.

She didn't say anything to Pearl directly, began her lesson, but kept an eye on Pearl while teaching about metabolic pathways.

 

Pearl found it easier to keep writing and would have been fine, had she not struggled to concentrate from the high levels of chest pounding anxiety. It felt sickly. She kept her eye on the clock. Entranced.

 

Pearl didn't say anything during the lesson, which Rose had more or less expected - it wasn't particularly odd, given Pearl had extra material to work on. She did notice that Pearl seemed to glance towards the clock quite a lot, but thought nothing of it.

Whether it was intentional or not, she brought the lesson to an end a little early, and as the other students rushed out, eager to enjoy their extra two and a half minutes of freedom, Rose called Pearl's name softly.

 

Pearl perked up, grimaced and then gave a half flushed smile. All emotions expressed in a very unstable twenty seconds. "Miss. I'm sorry for my antics yesterday. They were... so stupid."

 

Rose gave Pearl an encouraging smile. "Don't worry about it. That's not the reason I wanted to talk to you, anyway. I wanted to ask how you were getting on with the extra material I gave you?" It felt unwise to get right back to Pearl's issues now.

 

"Getting there. Still trying to get my head into the game." She shifted a little at this, sliding her pencil case into her bag. "I'll show you what I've been up to next lesson, okay?"

 

"Of course. Take all the time you need." Rose smiled at Pearl warmly, then looked up briefly to make sure all the other students were out of the classroom. Having reassured herself of this, she turned her attention back to Pearl. "Are you okay?"

 

"Why wouldn't I be?" Pearl replied, lost in thought and staring hard at the clock. Eyes tranced on the ticking of every second.

 

Rose shrugged. "You don't think I have a reason to wonder, after what happened yesterday?" The way Pearl stared at the clock intently, not meeting Rose's eyes, was a little disconcerting. Was Pearl late for a lesson? Rose doubted it.

 

"Nothing I haven't gone through before... though I may get a little worse come this evening." Pearl frowned. "I need to go in a bit."

 

"That's okay, I can't expect to keep you here forever. What's happening this evening?"

 

"Nothing! Nothing too important." Pearl swallowed. "Just lots of work I'm... not looking forward to seeing."

 

Rose didn't quite believe Pearl, because Pearl had never been great at lying in the first place, and after spending the afternoon with her the day before, Rose felt she knew her well enough to be able to tell something was up.

"You can tell me if something's bothering you, you know," she said gently.

 

"It's really stupid." Pearl sighed, looking away. Giving in. "Honestly. And immature. Silly."

 

"If it matters to you, it's not stupid," Rose said simply. "Tell me?"

 

"I'm getting a visitor tonight. Kind of nervous. She's... She's alright but I know I'll feel worse after I see her."

 

"Sounds like you didn't exactly invite her. Is she family?" Her best guess would be one of Pearl's sisters, as Pearl had said her parents were out of town for a while.

 

"Yeah. My parents probably forced her to come round and check if I'm still alive, haha. It's a little frustrating, though. Just tells me they don't trust me, even if they're ready to trust their other kids."

 

Rose frowned. To be fair, Pearl hadn't been very good at looking after herself. If she was Pearl's parent, she'd want someone checking up on her as well. "Your sisters are quite a bit older than you, are they not?" she asked.

 

"Only by a cunt hair," Pearl murmured, barely loudly enough for Rose to hear before pretending to clear her throat. "Sorry, something in my windpipe. Only by a little. They're twins, about three... Well, four years come this May."

 

Rose looked up, surprised, then chuckled. "Well, that would certainly explain why you're not looking forward to their visit. Your parents are only looking out for you, though. Most likely, they just want to make sure you're okay."

 

"It's unfair. I don't want to... see them right now. Not when I feel like such a failure already."

 

Ah, so that's what this was about. Rose thought for a brief moment - maybe she should - but surely that would go too far.

Instead, she asked, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

 

"No. That's why I didn't want you to know. You shouldn't have to feel guilty for something out of control."

 

Rose let out a quiet breath. "I'm not feeling guilty. I just want to help." She hesitated for a moment, then said, "If it would be inconvenient today, would you maybe like to join me again for lunch tomorrow?"

 

And face another luncheon of humiliation? But another date with Rose... she craved again for that touch. It lingered on the skin it had lined like a depressing ghost of what she couldn't have. "Sure."

 

Rose was almost surprised that Pearl accepted. But then, from what she knew of Pearl and from how their previous lunch had gone, it had been a rather inevitable answer.

She cast Pearl a smile. "Excellent! I'm looking forward to it." A glance at the clock told her that the next period was probably going to start quite soon. "Good luck with your sister," she told Pearl.

 

"...Thanks." Pearl shifted uncomfortably. Forlorn. She slowly trailed out of the room, grimacing as if she lacked the effort to look forward to the evening.

 

Rose watched Pearl leave the room, then quickly, with a small pang of regret that she wasn't able to do more for Pearl just now, shuffled around the things on her desk in preparation for the next lesson.

 

Pearl walked down to the reception desk with utmost lethargy. She even considered going to a kitchenware store and buying an entire cutlery range for being so low on spoons. She couldn't be bothered to be here and signed out before tiredly telling the desk she felt ill.

 

Rose didn't see Pearl for the rest of the day, but she deliberately kept herself from asking about Pearl. She couldn't help overhearing in the staff room that Pearl had apparently not appeared to her last lesson, but she refused to worry about the girl too much. Or so she told herself; it took a conscious effort for her to keep doing things to distract her after work, because worrying this much about a single student was never good. She texted Rob about the weekend, which was only a few days away and would hopefully take her mind off Pearl for a bit.

 

Pearl anxiously paced in her room. It'd be a few hours now. Oh god. She wanted to puke again. She couldn't see her sister. But... what if... no. She had barely pennies in her bank account, employment was a joke just as an idea. She couldn't... but her sister would be here for a while. She frowned, grabbing a pair of socks and a bottle of water and throwing them into her rucksack.

 

Rose passed the time by preparing her lessons for the next day. At some point, Lion came into her room, wanting a cuddle, so Rose left her work alone and took him on a long walk. The huge dog seemed to sense that something was on her mind; he was exceptionally playful and cuddly today, and Rose had no problems keeping her mind focussed on him rather than Pearl.

 

Pearl swiped a few apples off the counter and switched off all the lights. She then locked the door and began to briskly walk. This was the danger zone. Her sister could still pass by her. She needed to get away. Far away.

 

After walking the dog, it was dinner time for Rose. She gave a little bit of food to Lion as well - her neighbours would have fed him properly, but she could never resist spoiling him a little. For herself, she made a simple meal and didn't think of Pearl while eating it, or at least that's what she told herself.

 

The local forest was also partially built land, with infamously expensive housing projects over the area. Pearl made a mental note to avoid human activity. A stray police car turned and slowly drifted down the street, patrolling. Pearl's stomach sank, panicky and paranoid already. She knew Aurora would call her parents and then call the cops. Especially with her… history.

 

The evening was still young, the sun was still up, so Rose took a book and went outside into the garden to read for a while. Lion came with her, and she petted him absentmindedly, until he left her side to go over to her neighbour's house. They were a lovely married couple, two women with a primary school aged son, and Rose saw one of them in the window and called a greeting to her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a police car go along the street.

 

Pearl saw the forest out of the corner of her eye and sprinted. That took a lot out of her, and by the time she got near the untamed grass, she'd doubled over from foot pains. Well. Fuck. But at least she'd arrived.

 

Rose's gaze wandered, following the police car idly. She could see all the way to the forest from here, a view she rather enjoyed. She was just about to turn back to her book when something caught her eye.

A figure, running towards the forest. They looked tall, but gaunt, and there was something familiar about the way they moved.

Wait. Pearl?

Rose shot up, dropping her book, and called out Pearl's name, hoping she wasn't out of earshot from her already.

 

Pearl paused. That eerily sounded like her name being called. She looked at the bottle of citalopram she'd stuffed into her bag. Lord. She must've been going so crazy she was starting to hallucinate. She needed to carry on.

 

Rose cursed under her breath when Pearl paused, but didn't look around. She called Pearl again, louder this time. What was she doing? Wasn't she supposed to be with her sister..?

...Her sister, meeting whom Pearl had been exceedingly nervous about. Was she - was she running away?

 

Pearl was just about to dash again when her phone started to ring. She gave a short terrified scream at seeing Aurora's name and threw the iPhone far into the bushes. To any onlookers, she must've seemed insane.

 

The garden had a back gate opening towards the street and the forest. Rose watched with growing concern as Pearl didn't react to Rose calling her, then took out her phone, gave a small shout and threw it away.

She had to do something - screw not getting too invested in her students' lives, what Pearl was doing was so far removed from normal that Rose couldn't just stand by and do nothing. She got out of the garden, crossed the street and called Pearl's name again as she got closer to the forest.

 

Pearl hit a tree. Face first, ran straight into a tree. She gave a few hushed screams and tensed as birds flew out in response. She paced down to where she knew a creek was, the large, vast space of water. At least she wouldn't get thirsty for a little while.

 

The closer Pearl got to the forest, the more likely it was that Rose was going to lose her. She went faster, aware that there were limits to how fast she could reasonably go, and just then, Pearl bought her some time by faceplanting a tree. Rose hissed, and caught up with her.

"Pearl!"

 

Pearl stopped and slowly turned around with a horrified, tense expression. No. No no no. She grabbed the citalopram. That couldn't be Rose it couldn't be real Rose wasn't here. "Go away!" she spat. "You're scaring me! I know you... you don't exist and I'm making this all up because I can't stop thinking about you. Just... stop it! It hurts!" The meds would help they would make it all go away. Pearl, usually knowing full well that this wasn't at all how antidepressants worked, eagerly twitched at them.

 

Rose's eyes widened, taking in Pearl's words and actions. "I'm real, Pearl. I live just over there." She gestured vaguely to the garden she'd just come out of, then reached out to touch Pearl's arm. "You're hurt."

 

Pearl whisked it away as she flinched. The now open bottle fell onto grass. "Stop lying! I'm... I'm not... I can't deal with you right now." Pearl dropped to her knees and forced a couple of tablets dry. She didn't bother getting back up. Avoiding Rose's sight in general as she stared at the ground.

 

It was painful to watch. Rose crouched down and kept watching Pearl."I'm real," she repeated. "And I'm not going to let you run off by yourself."

 

"That's impossible," Pearl replied. "I'm only like fifteen minutes from mine. I haven't eaten and didn't take my pills until now so I'm just hallucinating you. It'll go away. Even if I need to take more, it'll go away."

 

"Even if it's just a hallucination, why don't you indulge it for a moment? I'm here to help." Rose smiled and reached out for Pearl again. "And don't take any more pills, please."

 

"Is that what you're scared of? Having to fill in forms? Not having this stupid, sick little girl trail you around like a lost dog? Christ." Pearl threw the closed bottle to Rose's direction. "Fine."

 

Rose caught the bottle and straightened up, offering Pearl her hand to help her up. "Why don't you come back to my place so we can fix you up?" She was fairly sure Pearl didn't even realise she was hurt.

 

A graze had formed under her left eye and dribbles of red assalted her pale face. She balled her fist but then sighed. If a hallucination was going to lead her somewhere, it had potential to put her at risk. But... she didn't really care. And she felt herself more at ease with the fake Rose. "I'm not sure. I'm scared you'll try to kill me but... I honestly give up. I don't care. Do it if you're going to, alright. But please make it quick." She rambled about life and death and love and birth for another minute or so before sighing. "If you are real... I'm never going to live this down."

 

Rose allowed Pearl to prattle on but put her arm firmly around her shoulders so Pearl couldn't run away again. She belatedly realised that this would reinforce Pearl thinking she was a hallucination, but decided it didn't matter as much as Pearl getting over the street safely. "Let's find your phone" she said, "your sister is likely worried about you." She saw the phone lying on the ground not far away and quickly went to pick it up. Hopefully it wasn't damaged.

 

"No, no!" Pearl resisted, squirming. "Please don't make me talk to her, please don't-" It was just then that a loud humming noise overtook them. Loud. Booming. A helicopter, flying much lower than usual. "They're here!"

 

 

Rose looked up. The helicopter was flying a lot lower than usual, and there weren't a lot of helicopters in the area in the first place. "You're sure that's them?" Silly ideas floated through her head, like making a run for it with Pearl, but she didn't move a muscle. She just put her hand back on Pearl's shoulder. Running wasn't an option - if this really was Pearl's sister.

 

"I need to hide, Ros- Miss Quartz!" Pearl struggled out of Rose's hands, but not enough to break the hold. "They're gonna think I'm suicidal and take me to hospital."

 

It sounded like there was a bit of history there. "You're staying here," Rose said calmly. "And so am I. We can do this, okay? If you want, I can do the talking."

 

"Please. Please I'll stop the whole eating disorder thing, I'll do anything, Miss! I can't let them see me."

 

"If you can just stop the whole eating disorder thing on a whim, you can do it without conditions. You got yourself into this, Pearl, so you can stay and face it. I'm here, okay?"

 

"Please don't make me hurt you. I can't hurt you," Pearl pleaded, teary eyed. "I need to get away. She does bad things!"

 

The helicopter didn't seem to have spotted them; they were in the shadow of the forest. Rose looked at Pearl, her teary eyes, the way she was practically begging. Maybe she could buy her some time. The helicopter was moving off over the forest. Rose nodded. "We can get to my house if we're quick." She put Pearl's phone in her pocket and moved towards her house, holding out her hand to Pearl- simply for practical reasons; they'd move faster that way.

 

Pearl nodded and grabbed a hold. Trusting Rose, despite all that had happened. "Please keep me safe."

 

Rose nodded and kept an eye on the helicopter, which was moving to a safe distance now. She hurried towards her house taking Pearl with her. The street was empty of cars; Rose hurried across and into her garden.

 

"Where are we? Is this really your house?" Though by all definition, this was a horrible idea, Pearl had little choice.

 

"Yeah. Come on in." Rose pushed open the door only to close it swiftly behind Pearl. "Wait here," she said, gesturing to the number of chairs in the living room. "I'm gonna get some plasters." Disinfectant too.

 

"We need to turn the lights off. They'll search the houses." Pearl shrunk into the sofa.

 

Rose looked up, surprised. "Okay then," she said, taking out Pearl's phone. "Time to call your sister. What's the code on this? I'll talk to her," she quickly added.

 

"I refuse."

 

"I just want to let her know you're safe so she'll call off this silly search. Trust me."

 

"She'll trace it down. She's done it before."

 

"Then how do you suggest we stop her looking for you?"

 

"Let them search the area. They'll leave."

 

Rose didn't like that idea very much. She took the phone again. "What if I call her, tell her you're safe, and also tell her to leave you alone? If she does track the call and comes here, it'll be trespassing. You're an adult and don't owe your family anything." Not legally, anyway.

 

"They'll harass me about you. They'll try to get you in trouble. It isn't worth it. "

 

"So then what? They search the area, leave, and then? How do you expect to solve this? You need to go home eventually. You ran because you don't want to see your family, but they have every reason to be worried about you. I mean, this might be a bit over the top but still. If you unlock the phone for me, I'll cover for you. We might still find a way around this."

 

"It's my birthday. Sixteenth of September." Pearl curled into herself, shielding herself from the helicopter search spot light.

 

The passcode for the phone. Rose did a double take: it was also today's date. “It's your birthday… today?” She paused, fingers hovering over the phone.

 

"Oh yeah, it is my birthday today. Fancy that." Pearl sighed.

 

It didn't seem to be anything that was… special to Pearl, or worth talking about more. Rose wanted to comment on the fact that Pearl's parents were away on her birthday, and that Pearl spent that day running away from home rather than doing… fun things. Instead, she just smiled at Pearl and unlocked the phone. Several missed calls from "Aurora". Rose took a deep breath and tapped the screen, dialling Pearl's sister.

 

"You've reached..." A nasal pitch spoke out, as if rehearsed. She then fumbled with the phone on the end of the line. "PEARL? HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK. WHERE THE HOLY HELL ARE YOU?"

 

"Hi... Aurora, I presume? Pearl is with me, and she's fine, I'm a friend of hers." Rose clenched her free hand into a fist, nails worrying the nailbeds, as she was prone to do during important or stressful phonecalls. "Why are you looking for her?"

 

"She's left without any warning. She's meant to be under constant surveillance when she's under risk. My parents... our parents are outta town and they left her alone when they shouldn't have. She's got some..." Aurora's voice turned awkward. "Issues. It might not be safe to stay near her right now if you're just a kid."

 

Rose nodded, despite the fact Aurora couldn't see her. "I know she has issues. She's my friend. And actually, she's been staying with me for a few days, she didn't want to be alone all the time, you know? She didn't even realise you were going to come." The lie came smoothly; Rose shot Pearl a smile. One of the advantages of being a young teacher; she could still pass as a student if she wanted to.

 

"Why hasn't she picked up my calls? Or left a note of any kind. She knows she's supposed to check in or the police get called in."

 

"She wasn't expecting company," Rose said. "And she didn't pick up the calls cus the phone was on silent? We were watching a movie." She sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? And so is she. She's gonna be back soon, okay? Not tonight, it's kind of late, but she'll be back tomorrow after school. She's safe, you don't need to worry about her."

 

"Alright. Could I speak to her?" The voice grew colder, more demanding.

 

"Sure, hang on." Rose covered the receiver with a hand, then turned to Pearl. "She wants to talk to you, should I let her? I can tell her you're asleep or something."

 

"No. Get her away!" Pearl curled up tighter. "Tell her I'm gone."

 

Rose thought for a split second, then nodded and uncovered the phone. "Sorry, you're gonna have to take my word for it," she said lightly to Aurora. "Pearl's just gone in the shower, she'll be a while. I can tell her to call you back, though?"

 

"That's fine. I'll call off the search. Thank you for calling… May I take your name?"

 

Rose had hoped Aurora wouldn't ask that, but she was prepared nonetheless. "Sarah Miller," she said cheerfully, without missing a beat, knowing that a name as common as that would be impossible to track down by any conventional means. She genuinely hoped Aurora hadn't actually tracked the phonecall. And she hoped she could convince Pearl to call her back later. It was necessary if they wanted to keep Aurora from getting suspicious.

 

The phone clicked without goodbye. Aurora had seemingly hung up. Pearl crossed her legs, rain began to drizzle on the window beside her. "Is she gone?"

 

 

"Looks like it." A bit rude, Rose thought. She let the words hang for a moment. "You can stay here tonight," she then said. "I have a spare room. Do you want to eat something?"

 

"No. I don't know where I am. I should go."

 

"Go where? Home?" Rose raised her eyebrows. "You asked me to keep you safe. You're safe here. I'm not going to let you wander off on your own, and I doubt you want to go home after all of this, at least - not right now."

 

"...You sound too much like her. I can't be making this up." Pearl shrunk. "I'm really at your house, Miss, aren't I?"

 

Rose smiled warmly. "Glad you're catching on. It's all real, yes. Your sister is no longer looking for you, and you're welcome to stay here for the night."

 

"Oh no, you must literally think I'm nuts," Pearl replied, monotone. "Tell me, what was more disturbing? The pills or the part where I admitted to constantly thinking about you?"

 

It would probably not be appropriate to tell Pearl that actually, she'd felt pretty flattered at that last part. So Rose just smiled and said, "Very few things about you surprise me anymore. And like I said - I'm here to help. That doesn't just mean helping 'perfect' people," she framed the word with her fingers, "with minor problems."

 

"Surely this is far beyond the call of duty. Even for you." Pearl played with slender fingers.

 

"Well, yes," Rose admitted. "But I'm still happy to help. Now, I'm sure that's enough excitement for the day for you, though? I'll go get the bedroom ready for you. Did you say you wanted to eat something?" Technically, she thought, she could take up Pearl on her previous offer to 'stop the whole eating disorder thing' - Rose had even held up her end of the bargain and kept her away from her sister.

 

"Not hungry." Pearl sighed, turning around sluggishly. "What about my PJ's? My books for tomorrow. I can't go to school."

 

"I doubt I have pyjamas in your size," Rose said, "but you can have one of my t-shirts. We'll see about school tomorrow, you don't need to worry about it for now, okay?"

 

Pearl awkwardly hugged her knees and nodded. Shifting. And then sighing. "I don't want to cause you any trouble."

 

"Don't worry about it," Rose said gently. She left the room and returned a few minutes later with a t-shirt that would probably fit about six Pearls as well as a spare toothbrush and some first-aid stuff.

"Here. I'm gonna have a look at that cut on your face, okay? Are you hurt anywhere else?"

 

"I'm hurt..." Pearl took Rose's hand and placed it over her chest. "In my kokoro." She then began to chortle hysterically.

 

 

Rose was startled, then joined in with Pearl's laughter. She didn't know what 'kokoro' meant, but it was fairly obvious from Pearl's actions anyway. She should have known Pearl was a weeb. "Seriously, though," she said, still smiling, "let me have a look at your face."

 

"Alright," Pearl replied, calming down. She slowly touched the graze. "Oh. Goodness. No wonder it stings. How bad does it look?"

 

"A bit messy." Rose took a wet towel and gently used it to wipe the blood off Pearl's cheek. Looking at the cut, it wasn't bleeding anymore; it would probably still be a good idea to disinfect the wound, so she found her disinfectant wipes. "This is going to hurt a bit."

 

"Alcohol wipes? I've had worse. Bring it on." Pearl tried her best at a smile. Shaking a little, still. It was as if she was doing her best at the worst act of normality.

 

Rose nodded, then gently dabbed the wipes on Pearl's face. She tried not to think about the fact that she was touching Pearl, or the fact that her face was mere inches from Pearl's, or the fact that Pearl was most likely definitely thinking about all of these things. She didn't meet Pearl's eyes.

"There," she said, then grabbed a plaster of appropriate size for the wound and applied it. "It looks a bit odd, but it'll be protected at least."

 

Pearl felt the plastic of the plaster. Cheeks aflame. Mind churning with dark innuendo. "Thanks, Miss. I appreciate it."

 

Rose's thumb lingered on Pearl's cheek just a moment longer than absolutely necessary, and against her better judgment, Rose looked up to meet Pearl's eyes. It was a mistake, she realised immediately, with Pearl's pupils blown wide and Rose's own heart speeding up. A long moment passed.

She never indulged the students who liked her. Not this much, not while they were still her students. She drew back, slowed her breathing. "Pearl," she said, keeping her voice low and calm. "I know you don't want to, but you need to call your sister and tell her you're safe. I don't know her as well as you, but I'm sure if she doesn't hear from you she'll go berserk again. We don't want that, do we?"

 

Starstruck. Stunned. Pearl couldn't move from the awkward angle after that exchange. She bit her lip, however. Mind melting with complete desire. Her teen heart in her throat. "No. I can't. Not right now. She'll come and get me. You need to understand that this has happened before."

 

Rose hesitated for a moment, then said, "Your sister said you were suicidal. You've attempted suicide before, haven't you? That's why she's going to such lengths to find you." She would have to find a way to get Pearl to talk to her sister. Later.

 

Pearl went quiet. Back to her damaged self as she looked down. "Several times. Things... happened. They always overreact. Well. She and Blue do. They're so controlling because they think they're better than me. And maybe they are. But... she'll come and get me."

 

"Have you considered that they're concerned and want to keep you safe? Not because they feel they're better than you, but because they actually care about your wellbeing?" Unlike Pearl's parents, maybe - who just went away for weeks, leaving their suicidal teenage daughter alone?

 

"They're not good kids. They aren't nice... people. God knows how they got this far. Always pressing my buttons. Always giving me meltdowns. I can't see them."

 

It sounded like a complicated situation - maybe more complicated than Rose was prepared to deal with. At least not until tomorrow. "Okay," she said. "She might not even expect you to call, it's late. We'll deal with it tomorrow." She wasn't looking forward to tomorrow. There was a lot of stuff to deal with tomorrow.

 

"I feel I should sleep in the woods like I planned." Pearl sniffed. "I'm sorry for... all this."

 

Rose's heart melted into a giant puddle at Pearl's words. "Oh, no, no," she said, "come here." She pulled Pearl into a hug, a tight, warm, motherly hug because Pearl had probably not been hugged in months and she was here in Rose's more-than-big-enough house feeling sorry, feeling like she was a burden. "Don't be sorry," Rose said, "you're staying right here."

 

Pearl gasped and flinched, then cuddled wholeheartedly into the embrace. She choked out a little, perhaps in happiness. Either way, the corners of her eyes grew wet. It was so good. So so precious. But... it wouldn't last. Rose didn't... she couldn't allow herself to accept it. It'd only mess with her head more.

 

 

Pearl sank into the hug like it was the first bit of affection she'd gotten in years, and Rose reflected sadly that this wasn't actually all that unlikely. She rubbed her hands over Pearl's back gently and didn't let go. It'd be up to Pearl when to end the hug, and if she needed an hour-long hug then Rose was absolutely prepared to give it to her.

 

"Miss. Please. You could get into trouble for this, I'm sure. All this. I'm a burden." Pearl whispered into pink ringlets. They tickled her lips. "This isn't worth your career."

 

Rose could hear the words Pearl mumbled, but just held Pearl a little tighter in response. "Shhh." This was nothing Pearl should be worried about. Rose decided herself what she wanted to do, and just this second, she wasn't actually risking anything; it was just a hug, after all. She couldn't be fired for having feelings, and she had no intentions whatsoever on acting on said feelings.

 

"Miss..." Pearl sighed, blowing some of the hair in the process. She smelt like what Pearl imagined home should smell of, instead of the constant reek of bleach at hers. How could she bear to tell Rose she was ripping her apart by this motion, when she was also filling in her lost little cracks of sentiment? She felt like sobbing but her tears stayed at a puppybreath shallow. Cold. But getting warmer.

 

She did not say a word, just continued gently rubbing Pearl's back, tempted to run her hands through Pearl's hair, which she liked to do with her lovers when in a close embrace, but - it would feel too intimate. She heard Pearl's single word, remembering almost regretfully that earlier, Pearl had almost dared to call her by her first name. It would certainly overstep boundaries if Pearl called her Rose. But somehow, it was what Rose wanted.

 

Pearl blinked against now slightly damp hair. She sighed, looking through it. World tinted rosy. Quartz was perfect. She was kind. She was so warm. So keen to hold her. Pearl wanted to never ever let go.

 

Rose finally gave in to temptation and shifted one of her hands upwards to play with the hair at the nape of Pearl's neck lightly. Her hair was short and soft. Pearl didn't show any indication of wanting to let go anytime soon.

She wanted to kiss her. God, she did. But she wasn't going to. It would be a graduation present, like she'd done with several others before Pearl, students who'd had an obvious crush on her. She was still in contact with some of them. A casual fuck after they graduated, sometimes several. Never anything more than that.

It was only a few months. She'd be fine. And yet... it was going to be months. If they were only half as intense as the past few days had been, it was going to be a strange year.

 

Pearl shuddered enough for Rose to feel. Every voice in her head screaming to ask more of this sensuality. To beg for the things she craved and crazed for. "… Miss."

 

Pearl was shaking, and Rose couldn't quite tell if she was crying... or just shaking from the sensation of Rose playing with her hair. Maybe both.

"… Pearl?" she asked in response to Pearl's quiet word.

 

"Yes, Miss?" Pearl whispered back. Alarmed. Was this over? Would she stop?

 

Rose rubbed her fingertips lightly over Pearl's scalp. Didn't let go, though.

"Do you want to go to bed?" she asked.

 

Pearl swallowed. Oh, the innuendo. "Um. Sure."

 

Rose realised belatedly that it could be interpreted slightly differently than she'd intended it. She sighed heavily and let go of Pearl, keeping her arm around Pearl's shoulder. "I'll show you to the spare room."

 

Kinky. Pearl rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'd like that a lot, but..." She closed her eyes. Scared to request. "Could you maybe... not leave me alone?"

 

Rose was a little surprised at Pearl's request. She didn't show how wonderful it made her feel to be needed - to be wanted.

"What kind of - not leaving you alone do you have in mind?" she asked nonetheless, because despite everything, the fact remained that Pearl was her student and she needed to be careful.

 

"Just don't leave me. I don't want to be alone." Pearl stiffened. Hurt in her voice.

 

"O...okay." Rpse wasn't really in a position to refuse. Pearl might do something to herself if Rose did leave her alone. Rose didn't want to leave her alone. She hesitated, not sure what to do. "I can - sit with you until you fall asleep?" she offered tentatively.

 

"Yes, that would be... very much appreciated. And you'd have the safety of mind knowing that I'm not up to any… tomfoolery." Pearl gave a weak smile and thumbs up.

 

Rose wanted to hug Pearl again. "I'm not doing this so I can supervise you," she said.

 

"But it might be in your best interest. I've not been myself, as you can tell. It's been a rough day on my head." Pearl awkwardly stood up.

 

"It's okay," Rose said. The words came almost automatically. "I'll look after you." She squeezed Pearl's shoulder lightly and lead her towards the spare room. "I'll give you a minute to get ready for bed, but I'm right here if you need me, okay?"

 

"Don't make me go to school tomorrow, please. I just want to sleep forever." Pearl sighed, following Rose. Lacking energy. It seemed she'd not eaten for a while again.

 

"We'll see about that tomorrow, okay? See how you feel then." Rose looked at Pearl. "I'm gonna guess you've not eaten. I know it's not supposed to be healthy to eat right before going to sleep, but if you want, I can still give you something." She was almost sure Pearl wasn't going to accept, but it was worth a try.

 

"Sure. Make it light if you can, miss. I'm not really up for anything huge." Pearl politely stood away to give her teacher some space. All too wary of body language.

 

Definitely worth a try, then. "I have some salad left over from my own dinner. Come on, I'll get it for you." She went back into the kitchen and got the salad out of the fridge.

 

Pearl eagerly nodded and tried to follow, clearly hungry enough to break down her earlier attitude.

 

"Here you go," Rose said, putting the plate with the salad on the kitchen table, grabbing some cutlery as well. "Do you want something to drink? I have - water, orange juice... yeah, that's pretty much it." Alcoholic beverages were available as well, but Rose liked to keep those for date nights. Besides, it might not be a good idea to give Pearl alcohol. Or herself, even, as long as Pearl was around.

 

"Juice would be very pleasant." Pearl smiled and looked happily down at the food. "Did you make it yourself?"

 

"The salad? Yeah," Rose said. She'd kept it simple today - iceberg lettuce, some vegetables, a dressing of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. She took the juice out of the fridge and poured a glass for Pearl, then another one for herself. "Tuck in."

 

Without a single word or fidget, Pearl took the fork and began to chow down. As if she'd literally never had anything better and she wasn't prepared to waste a single bite.

 

It was good to see Pearl eat, and she seemed to enjoy it too. Rose sipped her orange juice, smiling. She might be entirely powerless with regards to some of the heavier issues Pearl was facing, but at least she could make sure Pearl was eating semi-regularly.

"You must be tired," she said.

 

"You know I am," Pearl replied, voice smooth as she ploughed through a few remaining forkfuls. "Sleep for a week. That's what I need."

 

Rose didn't doubt that. She smiled at Pearl, who had finished her plate, so she took the plate from her and put it next to the sink. "Then let's get going," she said. "I can let you sleep tomorrow," she offered, "but I'll need to go to school regardless of whether or not you're going."

 

That was true. Pearl gritted her teeth. That was okay! She could amuse herself. And sleep it off. "No worries, Miss."

 

"You are, of course, welcome to come to school with me, but you'd have to be up for that." Rose smiled at Pearl. "Right, I'll go get ready for bed, then. Let me know when you're ready, okay?"

 

"Whenever. I'm ready to just doze for several millenia. If only I had a body capable of it." Pearl winked and drank down the juice, gently tipping it down. Savoring the taste.

 

"Okay, I'll see you upstairs." Rose gave Pearl another smile before going up into her room to slip into her nightgown.

 

Pearl played with the cutlery as Rose left. Her eyelids aching as she sorely tried to keep them open. Now that Rose had left, she'd grown even more sleepy. Putting her hands over her face to cover it from the lamps. Or any light.

 

Rose went to brush her teeth afterwards, which took a few minutes. She'd not heard anything from Pearl, so after she was done, she went into the spare bedroom. No sign of her.

"Pearl?" she called softly. Was she still downstairs?

 

Pearl had quickly failed to keep awake over her plate. She'd nearly folded her arms into a cushion and was fast asleep, gently dozing. Even her breath, now slow, seemed different altogether. She wasn't anxious or scared.

 

When Rose didn't get an answer, she went down the stairs quickly. She found Pearl where she'd left her, in the kitchen, fast asleep.

She couldn't just leave her here. Gently, trying not to disturb the girl too much, she scooped her up into her arms, letting Pearl's head rest against her shoulder. She was so... light, like a small bird, lighter than a girl her age should be. Rose held Pearl close for a moment, then carried her upstairs to the bedroom.

 

 

Pearl frowned a little at being picked up, but the act did not awaken her. She simply shifted a little in her dream, hand softly moving to grip Rose's forearm. She muttered something, incoherent, but was completely quiet for the rest of the journey to the room.

 

Rose found herself relieved that Pearl didn't wake up. She set her down on the bed, took off her shoes and covered her with the duvet. She watched her only for a moment longer before switching off the lights and going to her own room to sleep. The alarm was set. It was late, she would be tired tomorrow, but it was nothing she couldn't deal with.


	5. Act I - Chapter V: Aurora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> Content Warnings for this chapter: Alcohol, vomiting.  
> 

 

Pearl slept soundlessly through the night and awoke around eight- too late to make it to school. But she found herself freaked out by waking in a foreign place. What was happening? How had she gotten here? Rose... Rose. Was she still around?

 

 

 

When Rose had gotten up in the morning, there had been no sign of Pearl, and this continued to be the case until Rose had to leave for school, so she’d left a note.

_Good morning, Pearl!_

_You didn't wake up before I had to leave. I hope you're not too alarmed to find me gone, but you know - I have to go to work. There's food in the kitchen if you want breakfast, feel free to take anything you like. I hope to see you around after school, I'll be back around 4._

_Have a good day!_

_-RQ_

 

Pearl read the letter no less than fifteen times. When she finally put it down, she kept staring at the signature. Did Rose have a middle name? Maybe not. It was cute. Concise. Catchy. She of all people knew just how memorable it was. But goodness. About six hours. Perhaps she'd catch some more sleep. But food. Her stomach ached. Salad wasn't substenance. And as good as it was, 48 hours on pure salad was no way to live.

 

Rose found it surprisingly easy to concentrate during class today, probably because she knew Pearl was safe and okay. She was certain Pearl would still be there when she got back home.

She'd told Aurora that Pearl would go home after school, so there was another task for her. If she couldn't get Pearl to go home, she'd most likely be facing another confrontation with Aurora, which, to be honest, she'd rather avoid.

 

Pearl began her day by trying to sleep, yet again. But as her phone rang (Aurora once more), the device ended up submerged in the toilet while she cried for the best part of an hour. This was followed by awkward sitting on a sofa. She found the remote and scored some snacks from the promised fridge. But something caught her eye. A small cupboard cubicle. After passing it by nearly four times, and crying for now fifteen minutes after receiving another call, Pearl finally summoned the courage to investigate.

Alcohol.

Huh.

She tapped at a bottle of schnapps. Mostly Rosé wine presses, though. Typical. But it seemed there was a lot more in the back, and a bit of it covered it dust. A creeping thought came to her as she wondered if Rose would miss it.

 

In the meantime, Rose found herself wondering how Pearl was doing, anyway. She had Pearl's class for biology just before lunch, and none of her classmates seemed to miss Pearl (she caught a few stray words that a short girl called Amy said, something about 'the nerd' not being here, but she wasn't sure if that was supposed to be a positive or negative comment). She found herself hoping that Pearl had just slept the entire day, hopefully been left alone by her sister, maybe eaten something. The last lessons of the day crept along slowly.

 

"Oh. Nice." Pearl was smiling at a third glass of Rosé. "It's like I'm..." She chuckled and swigged as a laugh track over the Suite Life on television went off, "Eating her out. Pwaha! Genius, Pearl. You. Genius." She then looked mournfully at the lack of wine and back at the bottle. "It's such a shame you taste so good... Rose." She giggled, as if saying her teacher's first name was a forbidden thing.

 

School was finally over, and Rose made a short stop to buy groceries on the way home, telling herself there was no rush. (Ignoring the fact that there was absolutely a rush. The rush had a name. Aurora.) She was a little nervous as she unlocked her front door despite telling herself there was nothing to be nervous about.

"Pearl?" she called.

 

Pearl had just opened the tequila, which was following the earlier Rosé, and one of the schnapps. Oh no. Oh no, Rose. She grabbed the bottles and ran to the kitchen. Well. Ran in her mind. In reality it was the greatest drunk hobble the town had seen. She gulped some of the tequila en-route, dropping all the bottles on the kitchen floor and falling head first. Thankfully, neither herself nor the bottles broke.

 

Rose didn't get an answer, but heard some loud, messy noises. Instantly alarmed, she rushed into the house. She found Pearl lying face down in the kitchen, along with several bottles, whose contents were currently emptying onto the floor. Rose cursed under her breath and picked up the bottles. "Pearl!" she said. "Are you okay - gods, I should have known leaving you alone in a house with alcohol was a bad idea."

 

"Hey. No one tells me what's a bad idea. I... am a bad idea," Pearl mumbled in a wet slurry on the ground. "Please do not alarm. I'm ok. I just need to see your leader... unless you are the leader."

 

At least Pearl was conscious. Rose crouched down and helped Pearl into a semi-upright position. By some miracle, she'd not actually managed to mess up her clothes that much. "Come on, Pearl," she said gently. "Can you stand up?" It would probably be best to get Pearl back to bed, and Rose would carry her again if she had to.

 

"I can hover," Pearl replied with an all too serious tone. "One of the benefits of being a higher being, I suppose."

 

Rose was entirely confused. "I'm sorry?" Was Pearl already so far gone she didn't understand words anymore? "Pearl, I'm going to get you back to bed, okay? How are you feeling?"

 

"I wanna... vom." Pearl heaved, flopping like a seal in a pool of drool and alcohol. "But not before I convince you that I am ooookey dokey."

 

"Well, that's going to be difficult." Rose cared about her house, and she was not really on board with letting Pearl throw up all over it. "Let's get you to the bathroom. Can you walk? There's one right next to the kitchen, it's not far."

 

"Hover. I must show you how I am special as a part of my alien courtship ritual." Pearl kneeled and booped Rose's nose. "Yes. To the mothership with you!"

 

Alien courtship ritual. Right. Rose chuckled. "I guess that means no to walking? Come on." She curled an arm around Pearl and lifted her up so Pearl was leaning against her. It would be more difficult to move like this than it had been just carrying Pearl last night, but carrying a drunk person like that might be a bad idea. Luckily, the bathroom wasn't far away.

 

They hobbled to the bathroom and somehow made it. Pearl jumped to the toilet like a flying squirrel. Just managing it there to vomit.

 

By some miracle, they actually made it to the bathroom in time. While Pearl was throwing up, Rose returned to the kitchen and cleaned up the mess Pearl had made. Tequila, schnapps and Rosé wine? She shook her head. Apart from the fact that it was a lot of alcohol, the combination was dreadful. Pearl was going to have a bad time. Rose wasn't feeling particularly sorry for her.

 

Pearl fell back and rubbed her belly. Aaah. She needed that vomit. Things felt less queasy for a few precious seconds. And then it came back like a tidal wave.

 

When Rose returned to the bathroom, Pearl was still vomiting. Rose hesitated, then her sympathy won over and she went to stand next to Pearl, running her fingers through her hair. Comforting.

 

"This was a bad idea!" Pearl wept. "Why did I do this? I'm awful!"

 

Why did Pearl do this? Well. "I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say your sister called you?" Rose had really, really hoped Aurora would at least leave Pearl alone during school hours.

 

"I didnt want to talk..." Pearl groaned back, upset and frustrated. "I don't like her!"

 

Rose spent half a moment wishing she'd not pretended to be a student to Aurora, so she could go to her as a teacher and have a stern word with her about how she treated her sister. Maybe she still could; Aurora had only heard her voice, after all. "Do you want to go to bed?" she asked Pearl gently, still petting her hair.

 

"Yes," Pearl whispered, feeling absolutely sick. "But bring me a bucket, please." She sounded so dreadful and frail. The world swimming away in her vision.

 

"Of course." Rose grabbed a bucket from the cupboard opposite the bathroom, then led Pearl back to her bedroom. A shrill noise somewhere in the house - she wasn't entirely sure where - told her that Pearl's phone was ringing again. Aurora, most likely. It was now after school, and Pearl wasn't home. "Just ignore it," she told Pearl softly, squeezing her shoulders. "We'll deal with it later." It wasn't a great plan. Not even a moderately decent one. But it was also the only one Rose currently had.

 

But the phone kept ringing and ringing. Pearl curled up. "No! Stop it!" It had to be Aurora. It had to be. And she'd be mad now. She'd know Pearl wouldn't have gone to school. The thought of being investigated terrified Pearl. It sent shivers down her. Aurora was going to find out about everything. She wanted to scream.

 

"We'll deal with it later," Rose repeated. She pulled Pearl towards her into a hug, hoping to distract her from the phone.

She didn't know what to do. She couldn't keep covering for Pearl; at some point, it would actually put her job in jeopardy. If she talked to Aurora, face-to-face, she risked Pearl having to go back home. If she answered the phone, she would have no logical explanation as to why Pearl was missing again (or still).

There was no need to tell Pearl that she didn't know what to do, though. She would figure something out. The priority just now was to get Pearl into bed.

 

"Take me to bed! I'll lay there like a dog needing some sleep, unless I gotta get up and PEE." Pearl sang into Rose's armpit as she nearly fell over again. Face still sore. "I love that song. Do you love that song, Miss?"

 

"Sure," Rose said patiently. She dragged Pearl to the spare room, sat her on the bed and put the bucket next to her. "Sleep, okay? I'll be around if you need me." She desperately had to do some work for tomorrow and felt slightly guilty for hoping Pearl would fall asleep quickly. _Is this what it's like having children?_ she wondered.

 

Pearl pressed her face into the pillow and waited for Rose to leave before managing a massive sigh over her upset and drunk misery. "I'm too young to be this broken." She stared at the patterns on the ceiling and hopelessly wished for a new life.

 

Rose found Pearl's phone in the living room; it showed three missed calls from Aurora and a rather astounding degree of wetness. Rose unlocked it simply for the purpose of putting it in silent mode - she didn't want to be distracted, and every time Pearl's phone rang, Pearl would be driven further into despair. She couldn't concentrate on her work; every few minutes, her mind drifted off to the drunk girl in her spare room and the pressing yet unanswered question of what she should, what she could do.

 

Aurora hissed as the call was rejected again. She angrily swept left on its screen and stuffed it into her neat canary blazer pocket. Everything had a place, and that was the place for her Samsung. She hesitated picking it up again to call the authorities. Pearl wasn't safe. She needed numbers, names. Why did her parents keep leaving Pearl alone? It was so stupid. She angrily picked the phone up again and made her fifth call of the day.

 

 

 

The phone was silent and out of Rose's view, so she didn't notice it was being called. Her response would have been exactly the same if she had noticed, though; to ignore it. She was slowly getting behind on preparing classes. Pearl wasn't really good for her productivity. She considered texting Rob, cancelling her weekend plans, but decided that maybe seeing him was exactly what she needed. If things got too much, she could still cancel short notice. She didn't care about him, as a person, too much, so she wouldn't feel sorry for that.

 

Aurora gave a sigh and tried once more. Just one. Then she'd try harder measures. Thank God Pearl's iPhone was her handmedown. She'd managed to install a tracking app a while back in case the device was ever stolen or lost. And it was her ace in sleeve if Pearl didn't pick up right now. She was going to give her sister a piece of her mind over all this trouble.

 

Well, at least tomorrow was Friday. Rose smiled at herself over the thought, then returned to her work, still not noticing the silent phone being called. Instead, she absent-mindedly wondered how she could get Pearl to leave, because as much as she didn't mind looking after Pearl, over time it was going to be straining - especially if Pearl was right, and her family would indeed come looking for her.

 

Aurora hissed at her phone. Missed call. Again. Enough! This was unacceptable! No school. Missing? God knows where. She grabbed her car keys and lit up ignition, swerving around and checking up the GPS on the app. Huh. Pearl was only twenty minutes away. Fine. Fine. Even better. She'd catch up soon enough. She briskly drove to the woodland part of town, her SUV nearly crashing into several others but she didn't care. She was on a mission.

 

Rose decided that she'd done enough work for today - she'd be fine for tomorrow, and everything else would have to wait. It was getting towards dinnertime, so Rose put on the water for the pasta and started making the salad.

She ended up actually checking Pearl's phone when she passed it at one point. Several more missed calls from Aurora. She frowned; this didn't bode well. Maybe ignoring the phone entirely had not been the best tactic. She considered what she should do once again.

 

It was just then that a knock drilled on the door. A few steady swipes on the wood with the back of a fist. Aurora curled her lip. Despite being a five foot seven, blonde bombshell with a suitably canary outfit, she looked mildly terrifying with such a ferocious look on her face. She had Pearl's eyes and nose, and the resemblance in her stature was uncanny.

 

The problem of what to do may just have solved itself, Rose thought at the knock on her door. She took her time washing her hands, grabbed Pearl's phone and went to open the door. She didn't need to ask who the woman standing there was; it was clear to see that she was related to Pearl. Rose looked at her for a moment. "You're Aurora," she said.

 

She began to rant even before Rose opened the door. "Do you even KNOW how worried I've been? Not picking up calls. Pearl needs to come out right now. She's getting taken home. I bet she hasn't even taken her meds and she's...." She then paused and slowly glanced up, a look of recognition over her face. She was standing in front of a technical colleague, but she barely spoke to any of the teaching staff. Her position, to her at least, was above them. She handled external affairs, took care of the parts of school Miss Diamond didn't and of course, payroll. "What are YOU doing here?"

 

 

 

Rose was confused for a moment. Had they met before? She didn't have the best memory for faces, or names for that matter, only the most important ones ever stood out. She took a deep breath, then a step back. "Why don't you come in. And do try to keep your voice down. Your sister is asleep upstairs." And also so drunk that she was unlikely to wake up, but Rose would still rather not risk it.

 

"That doesn't resolve the matter of why the _hell_ you're both here. Oh my God, ohhhh my God. This has potential for disaster, Quartz," Aurora hissed. "Is anyone at the school aware you're harbouring her?"

 

"Harbouring?" Rose gave a mild smile. The fog on her memory was starting to lift a little. She thought she'd seen this one around Principal Diamond once or twice. If Aurora was Diamond's personal assistant... well, this just got a lot more complicated. "You make it sound like she's a criminal. Tea?"

 

"That's because she's a danger to everyone around her right now." Aurora’s tone shifted to being slightly less... screamy. She glanced up at the teacher and gave a swift nod. "Got any chamomile?"

 

"That's strange, she's not threatened me yet." Rose seemed to remember that she had a pack of chamomile stored away on a cupboard somewhere, so she went to dig it out, then boiled the kettle. "Found some," she informed Aurora cheerfully, then made the tea and picked it up. "Shall we go through to the living room? A word of warning, though - there might be a rather large dog." She'd spotted Lion roaming in the garden; he'd not come in to say hi, but he might have changed his mind since she last looked.

 

Aurora curled a lip. She did not like dogs. But she quickly fixed at her golden locks and followed Rose to where she wished to go. "You teach her. I don't suppose you've gotten all of her medical history, though." She turned her own phone off, not wanting to disturbed. Ironic. "I'm surprised they even let her in after the stunts she pulled last year."

 

Rose took her time setting down the tea in front of Aurora. Lion wasn't around, which Rose counted as a blessing; Aurora did not seem very pleased at the prospect of meeting a dog.

"I mostly know what she told me," Rose said after sitting down and taking a sip of her own tea. "Which I imagine isn't nearly all of it. But she's still my student, and that means I have a responsibility to her."

 

"You can't be telling me she's been staying with a member of staff this whole time! It's worse than her being harboured by a normie. You do realise the reprecussions if she tries anything, right?" Aurora played with her index fingers. "And she will try something. I bet she already has."

 

Rose drew a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Yeah, she has," she said. "Yesterday, in fact. She tried to run away from home. She ended up here, and I took her in because I thought it was safer than just letting her run off into the woods by herself." She wondered if Aurora would, or maybe had already, figured out that Rose had lied to her on the phone last night.

 

"See? Exactly what I'm talking about! And I bet she got someone to cover for her on the phone," Aurora snarled, angry at being lied to, but not quite connecting the dots. "I need to know why she's here. She's not... well. She has a few problems from home. You know... mental illness."

 

 _Someone?_ Rose kept herself from smiling. "I'm aware," she said simply. "She's here because I saw her running away yesterday and I gave her the option to stay here overnight instead. I'm rather glad she took it, actually. As to why she ran away, well..." She shrugged at Aurora. "I don't think that's a question you should be asking _me_."

 

And the ball was back in her court. "You're right," Aurora replied through perfectly shaped, gritted teeth. "And where could I perhaps interr-I mean, 'talk', to my sister."

 

"She's asleep," Rose said. Pearl was in no shape to be talking to Aurora. "And I'd rather keep her out of this conversation, if you don't mind. You see, we might be colleages, but right now you're a family member of one of my students. And I'm concerned about my student."

 

"I came to collect her. How can she not be a part of this conversation?!"

 

Rose let out a soft sigh. Aurora was only a few years younger than her, and yet she was so... clueless.

"Apart from the fact that she's a legal adult, and therefore you have no right to, as you say, collect her," she said. "You work in a school, so you should know this. When you have a student who bursts into tears and has literal panic attacks at the mere thought of going home - what do you think that should tell you?" She let the question hang.

 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Aurora hotly replied after a few pregnant seconds of silence. "All I know is that I'm her next of kin and I have the responsibility to take her to hospital if she's unstable. You are aware she's nearly died at her own hand, several times? She does this because her brain is hard wired to manipulate others. You feel bad because she wants you to feel bad."

 

Rose didn't doubt that Aurora knew Pearl better than she did.

She also didn't doubt that Aurora's view was a very subjective one.

"I am aware she's attempted suicide before," she said calmly. "I don't know about the manipulating thing, I don't know her well enough for that. But surely you'd agree that there must be something very deeply wrong if a person goes to these lengths - even attempting to take their own life? Whether it's for manipulation purposes or otherwise, that's quite a commitment, wouldn't you say?"

 

"I don't care. All I know is that she's meant to be under surveillance. She's meant to have a carer but she's somehow skipped out on that. That's not me trying to control her. It's in her psychiatric notes. She's a high risk person and she needs... _proper_ support. Not... hanging out with members of staff, Jesus. Why didn't you call the police when you found her? She can't have been too well."

 

Rose didn't mention that she'd already gotten a fairly good look into Pearl's psyche during their lunch together. Pearl had, indeed, been 'hanging out with members of staff' more than Aurora probably knew.

"She wasn't a danger to herself or others," she said. "And I have enough first aiding experience to be able to judge that even in people I don't know as well as you know Pearl." According to protocol, she knew, Aurora was right: She probably should have called the police. Pearl had been positively psychotic when Rose found her. But she also knew that calling the police would have made everything worse. Like this, at least, Pearl had gotten some peace, even if it was just for a while.

 

"Why did she run away? She was supposed to meet me last night at our parent's home." Aurora frowned, realising that trying to push past Rose on this was an impossible feat. She had to be flexible. And she was... very flexible. "But I do need to see her. I've been horribly worried."

 

Rose frowned at Aurora. She didn't trust her, not at all. Pearl had issues and possibly clouded judgment, but this 180-turn in attitude Aurora had just done was really very obvious. Was this complete inability to lie hereditary? "I'm sorry," she said. "Pearl made it very clear yesterday that she didn't want to see or even speak to you. I'm going to respect that because I have a responsibility for her as her teacher. I don't have that same obligation to you. Also," she added, "she's asleep."

 

"She did what? That little shit!" Aurora yelped like a chihuahua in pain and stood up. She then paused. "I bought her cake and everything! I haven't seen her since... you know. Her leg. Why doesn't she want to speak to me?" She then cleared her throat and looked Rose in the eye. "Regardless, if she isn't home soon, I'll be getting both the authorities and _Principal Diamond_ involved." She pronounced every syllable as if they were of Godlike proportion. Sad. Her voice dropped low. "And I'm very close to her. I don't know what's going on here, Quartz, but I don't like it. Not one bit. Nothing in this school happens that I don't know about and I can assure you, I will get to the bottom of all this."

 

"You don't have that kind of power over her," Rose said calmly. "Pearl is a legal adult, and you are not her guardian. Pearl is safe, that's all you need to know." Aurora's later words sounded almost like a threat, but Rose didn't buy it. She was not doing anything illegal. "I have no idea what you think is _going on_ here."

 

The last words brought a knowing glimmer to her eyes and a flush to Aurora's face. "Oh, a student with a teacher? At your age gap? Goodness, the story practically writes itself. I'd watch your tone, Quartz. I do your payroll. Keep that in mind. And right now, I'm willing to press at my power to protect my sister and others from her. You don't know how she can get. You think you know our Pearl but then poof, she goes ahead and does something irrational. Horrible. She lies. She hurts people. And you, you don't know how to help her. What? A first aider, if I recall. Congratulations, you're able to put a plaster. See how that works when she's got you wrapped around her little finger." She crossed her arms and squinted down. "I want no bad blood, we're colleagues after all. And I honestly care about you. And her. Too much. Don't make me your enemy right now. All I want is to take her to a controlled place with people that know how to treat these things. Maybe she'll go back to the psych ward for running away. I doubt she's been eating again if the folks aren't home so it wouldn't be hard. She's like an animal. You don't know the damage she can do. But if you don't let professionals take care of her, she will hurt you."

 

Rose took a moment to swallow all of that. Her eyes had gone wide, but other than that she showed no indication that what Aurora was saying affected her.

"You say you care about me, and yet you come into my house and threaten me," she then said quietly. "We both just want Pearl's best, that's right? I don't doubt you know her better than I do, and yet when she was distressed she ran away from you, and felt safe with me." She took a deep breath. "I know you're scared for her, but we should be working together on this, not against one another."

 

"I wish I was threatening you, but as a colleague I'm telling you what's going to happen if you let this carry on. You should have contacted the authorities. You should have let them know you're harboring a mentally ill runaway. Whether she's an adult doesn't matter. I don't matter in this. But fair enough, I'll tone my aggression as I can tell neither of us will get far that way." She opened her pocket and formed a small diary. "We should be looking at the future. How long do you plan to keep her here?"

 

Rose shifted, slightly uncomfortable.

"Well," she said, "I kind of have plans for the weekend, so I was going to gently tell her to leave fairly soon. I might be able to convince her to leave of her own accord - I'd hate to throw her out against her will."

 

"Won't happen. Now that she's here. Trust me, give her an inch and she'll go for a mile. If I could just talk to her now... and get her to consent to me picking her up in the morning." Aurora then sighed and looked down. "Listen. I don't know what she's said about me or my family. She has issues. That I can confirm. And we're not maybe the most... nuclear of families. But I promise she'll be safe with me. I mean, look at me. I can't exactly beat her up. The worst case scenario is her misbehaving and getting... suicidal and thus being sent to the psych. That's it. If you're really worried, call the authorities yourself." She then stroked her chin. "As for her guardianship. Now that you mention it, I could apply to be her guardian if she doesn't stop this nonsense. Running away. What is she, sixteen?"

 

Rose resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Scared is what she is," she said. "I don't really know why, or of what, but if an otherwise smart nineteen-year-old decides it's a better idea to sleep in the forest than to see her sister, I wouldn't really think it was childish, would you?" She sighed, because arguing would be getting her nowhere. "I can go up and see if I can wake her. She was... not in a very good state when I got home, but I'll try to get her to talk to you, okay?"

 

Aurora rolled her eyes. "You're acting as if she doesn't have a personality disorder. You don't get it until you've experienced her being normal and smart and kind and lovely to literally a wild, unbalanced skittery little animal the next moment. I see it as childish because she has the brain of a child. She can't handle adult things, responsibilities. She breaks down over criticism and she's only lasted this long because of her sheer IQ." She had to jab back, finding it unbearable to let Rose know any less. "But yes. Kindly wake her. I promise I'll be... less brash."

 

Rose got up. "I hope you don't mind if I sit in on the conversation," she said. Not waiting for an answer, she turned and left the room, going up the stairs. She hadn't shown it in front of Aurora, hidden it the way she'd learned to hide if she was stressed in front of students, but now that Aurora wasn't looking anymore, she was shaking all over and silently congratulated herself for being spectacularly caught in the middle with no idea what was right or wrong anymore.

She gently knocked on the door to the spare room and let herself in. "Pearl?"

 

Pearl gave a groan beneath a pillow. Head pounding. Sore like a gash. She saw droplets of red. And then black. "Ro-Miss! It's you? Oh, my head hurts so bad. I need to puke maybe. Aaaah. No. Not ready for today."

 

Rose didn't miss the way Pearl almost called her Rose. Remembering what Aurora had said earlier, she clenched her teeth. She felt a little bit like crying, which would be completed in due course, behind closed doors where nobody would see. Least of all Pearl.

So instead, she put on a smile and approached the bed. "Do you think you can get up?"

This wasn't going to be easy.

 

"No. I really can't. I can barely see. Is it school time already, Miss?" She tilted her head like a lost puppy. "I don't think I can handle anything right now."

 

Rose gingerly sat down on the bed next to Pearl. "No, no," she said. "It's evening. Friday evening, you wouldn't have school tomorrow anyway." She swallowed heavily, feeling like she was betraying Pearl, but she had no choice. "Something's come up. I need your help."

 

"Oh. Oh my." Pearl giggled and then grimaced. "Not right now. I'm feeling sick. I'm so stupid. Fuck. Whoops. I mean, um, frick."

 

Pearl made her laugh, if only for a moment. It felt good. "Sorry, Pearl," she still said. "I'm afraid this is kind of urgent." As in, sitting-in-her-living-room kind of urgent, waiting for her to come back. Aurora would most likely not tolerate too big a delay.

 

"What is it?" She had her attention. Pearl awkwardly perked up and held her tummy. "And does it require me moving?"

 

"Well..." Rose hesitated for a long moment. She genuinely just wanted to go, to leave Pearl alone and tell Aurora to get out of her house if she didn't want Rose to call the police on her... but she couldn't. This was bigger than her silly protectiveness of Pearl, warranted as it might be.

She gave up with a sigh. "I can probably also tell her to come up here," she said.

 

"Tell who? What's going on?" Pearl gave a bleary blink. "You don't mean she's... here?"

 

Rose nodded, heavily. "Pearl... she's not your enemy. She just wants to help you. I'll be there when she talks to you, but she does need to talk to you."

 

Pearl froze. She looked fragile with her pale, stick thin limbs and dark rimmed eyes. "Protect me. Please. Just..." She then closed her eyes. "Bring her here. It'll be worse if I puke and she realises I've been drinking."

 

Rose looked at Pearl, at her pale face with the deep rings under her eyes. Pearl didn't look healthy. She looked ill and fragile and vulnerable.

Maybe Aurora wouldn't realise she was hungover as well.

"I'll do my best," Rose promised. She hesitated, then gave Pearl another brief hug. She couldn't not.

Then she swallowed, got up and left the room to get Aurora.

 

Aurora had switched her phone on and replied to five messages by the time Rose had returned. She sat like a vulture, ready to pounce. Ready to fight. She stared Rose down the second she came into the room. "Well?"

 

Rose breathed deeply, got herself under control. "She'll talk to you," she said. "Come with me, she's still upstairs. She's... not feeling too well." She didn't need to explain that any further, she thought. She just hoped Aurora wouldn't actually catch on and figure out Pearl was hungover.

 

Aurora didn't press further. She neatly tucked away the phone and stood up. Pristine. Her high thighs teasing below her pencil skirt. Even her makeup was flawless. But her eyes. They looked redder than before. It was only because of how perfect she looked that it was noticeable. A tiny smudge below her left eye. She'd shed a tear.

 

Rose didn't notice; she was far too agitated and focussed on Pearl. She led Aurora up the stairs, pushed open the door to the spare room and went inside, followed by Aurora.

"Here she is," she said, forcing her voice to be calm, not entirely sure herself if she was addressing Pearl or Aurora.

 

Aurora looked at Pearl.

Pearl looked at Aurora.

Aurora kept staring.

Pearl looked away.

A moment passed.

"Explain," Aurora said. Not with malice. But with the slice of a sharpened knife.

Pearl swallowed. "I forgot you were coming."

"Why did you run away?"

"I, um. Ah. Now that. That's one hell of a story." Pearl glanced at Rose for a prompt. "It all began yesterday. Instead of going home, I um... got chased! By a random guy!"

 

Rose took the liberty of sitting down on one of the chairs in the spare room, pulling out another one and offering it to Aurora silently. She watched the two sisters, so alike and yet so different. She couldn't help letting out another sigh when Pearl told an obvious lie, and gave her student a stern look.

 

Pearl lifted her shoulders. It was worth a try. Sadly, Aurora took none of it. "Tell me the truth. Why didn't you want to see me?"

Pearl shot a terrified stare at Rose. Going pale. "I... I, um. I... I didn't want to feel bad. You do it every time, Aurora. You treat me like I can't help myself. It's scary being under the same roof with you."

"Quit your antagonising! I'm not going to hurt you. It isn't my fault mom and dad don't look after you but it will hang over me if I come home and find you hanging! You're sick, Pearl. I bet you haven't even been to your psychotherapist for months."

 

Rose watched, shared a glance with Pearl, felt mildly uncomfortable.

"May I interrupt?" she asked politely, directing her question at Aurora more than Pearl, because she was fairly sure Pearl wouldn't mind her input anyway.

 

"You may," the bombshell replied with a hiss, glancing back at Rose. But only enough to show her the side of her face. Aurora then went back to facing Pearl.

 

"Aurora..." She looked back and forth between her and her sister. "You should listen to Pearl. She's trying to tell you something, and you shouldn't tell her off when she's actually answering your question truthfully." She could definitely, absolutely see where Pearl's reluctance to spend time with Aurora came from.

 

Aurora turned around, eyes wide. Facing Rose. She twitched a little, gritting her teeth. To be honest, she looked like the most evil version of the most terrified Pearl. "My. I guess you're correct." The words came through her teeth. "Pearl. I won't criticise you. Tell me what happened yesterday."

"I went home early because I felt sick." That part was true. "I had an episode at home. Wasn't looked after so I made it to the forest. Miss Quartz somehow found me. There was a helicopter, so I got scared you'd called the cops."

"I did."

"This is why I have episodes around you, Aurora! I can't deal with how paranoid of myself you make me feel!"

Aurora looked at her. Face falling into deep upset. "But... I'm just looking out for you."

 

Rose watched, silently, until she felt the need to interrupt again.

"Remember this isn't about you, Aurora," she said quietly.

 

"I've done nothing but try to keep you safe!" Aurora balled her fists. "And here you are, making me the bad guy again. I wonder if Rose here knows about your history," she spat, not even bothering to look at her colleague. But interesting that she chose to use her name. "Does she know about all the times you've attacked me? Hurt me? And each time I've shrugged it off. Oh, that's just Pearl. I have to accept her because I love her. I've done more for you than anyone and you still try to convince them I'm abusive? Oh of course they'll believe you. Because I'm awful. I can't handle people. But when you have no one you come running back to me. I just can't believe how ungrateful you are!"

"You're not some kind of angel!" Pearl stood up. "You treat people like shit! I bet you've even done it to her!" She pointed at Rose. "I can't help the fact that I'm sick. I get jealous because you and Blue have EVERYTHING right. It hurts to see you now! It hurts because you're out of school and have friends and people don't run away from you. I have nothing! And it's fucking... it's so fucking painful to constantly be reminded and criticised of how much of a failure I am!"

Pearl then proceeded to vomit over Aurora's shoes.

 

This, Rose felt, was the part where she couldn't really contribute anything useful, so she just sat. But she jumped up in alarm when Pearl started throwing up. She grabbed the bucket that was still standing next to the bed and hurried over to Pearl, holding the bucket and gently rubbing Pearl's back. She shot an apologetic look towards Aurora. "Maybe you should try to be less emotional about this," she suggested. "Getting angry isn't going to help anyone."

 

"Pearl... oh my God." The blonde ignored Rose, and looked devistated at her shoes and then at the sick Pearl. "You reek of... schnapps. You've been drinking again." She slid off the soiled footwear and gently helped Pearl out of the grim shirt. It dripped with sick. "Do you have anything else for her? I'll take whatever she's worn of yours to the dry cleaners as soon as I get back."

 

Well, there went her hopes of Aurora not noticing Pearl had been drinking. Rose did notice that Aurora didn't immediately start screaming again, which she took as a good sign. "I can get her another shirt," she said. Her hand was still gently rubbing Pearl's back, but she withdrew it now because Aurora seemed to be okay handling the situation. Instead, she left the room and went to get another shirt for Pearl.

 

"I'm not in trouble, am I?"

"Oh god, what am I going to do? Tell mum? Come on, Pearlie, you need help. I'm sorry I blew up. You make me worry and I honestly wanted to see you again."

Pearl shifted, topless and uncomfortable. She stared at her sister's perfect form for a minute. "You could tell Blue. She'd skin me."

"No one is telling Blue anything. She'd do more harm than good."

 

Rose realised when she was in her room that she still had Pearl's phone. Quickly, she took it out, unlocked it and put her number into Pearl's contacts. She then rang herself from Pearl's phone so she had Pearl's number as well. Satisfied, she took one of her shirts for Pearl and went back to the spare room, where Pearl and Aurora were still talking.

"Here's your shirt - and your phone," she said to Pearl and gave her two things. She ignored the fact that Pearl was topless.

 

Pearl glanced up and gave an awkward thanks. She scanned the shirt and smiled, "It's cute. Thank you, Miss."

Aurora helped her into the shirt and gave a sigh. "You look like you need more rest though. I'd take you back home in my car just to give Quartz here some peace of mind. But I don't know how okay you guys are with that."

 

Rose looked at Aurora, then at Pearl. "I'm okay with it as long as Pearl is," she said. Maybe she didn't need to cancel her plans with Rob after all. She'd have to get the stain of vomit out of her carpet, though.

 

Pearl sighed. "Do I need to be an adult or do I need to be honest?" Aurora glanced at Rose, opening her mouth and then closing it. This wasn't her place to speak.

 

Rose hesitated for a moment.

"Be honest," she then told Pearl. "I can still respect your opinion." And she could still make a decision that meant Pearl didn't get what she wanted. After what Aurora had told her, Rose was a little cautious. She was all for giving Pearl what she needed - but wasn't going to let her rule her life. She had plans this weekend.

 

Pearl gave a sad nod. "I'll go. I've done enough. But, um. Thanks. It's helped. Even though I puked. On your floor."

"Thanks for taking her in. Sorry about the attitude earlier, I... I care way too much." Aurora helped her up. "No word of this to anyone at school. And I'll do the same."

 

"No problem. Anytime," Rose told Pearl. She meant it. It was the reason why she'd put her number into Pearl's phone - so Pearl could reach her if she needed her to help again.

She nodded at Aurora. "Not a word," she promised.

 

"Come on, Pearl. Let's get you back. I'll be home all weekend so you can sleep until Monday if you really need to."

Pearl smiled softly as she glanced at Rose. "I'll be okay."

 

Rose looked from Aurora to Pearl, then smiled back. She actually believed Pearl - she was very glad that this, at least, had worked out in everyone's favour.

"I'll see you on Monday, okay?" She walked them to the door.

 

"Bye, Miss!" She smiled and did a queasy wave goodbye as Aurora supported her out. "Have a good weekend! And, um, thanks!!"

 

Rose smiled at Pearl, and then at Aurora as well, and waved at them as they left. She then closed the door behind them and let out a long breath before going upstairs to clean up.

 

 

END OF ACT 1


	6. Act II - Chapter I: Amethyst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".

 

 

Perhaps it was in the way that the stars aligned, but Pearl had done well to recover from the rough start to her year. Aurora had stayed since the incident until her parents finally returned home, four weeks late. Aurora had only put her adamant foot down on one thing. She was to get therapy. Her sister had even paid for her to go private as a last little shove, and while the initial session had been tearful and hard, it was as if a thorn had been picked from her side. She and Rose continued to have lunch, and for the most part with no more awkward drama. Cognitive behavioral theraphy worked similar to homework, and she'd been perscribed antipsychotics. Her newest CBT task, however, still had her nervous. She was to talk to someone in her class. To make a connection. An aquaintance.

 

Amy was, as far as many things were concerned, disgustingly average. Her grades were so-so (mostly depending on whether or not she gave a fuck), she was well-liked by most. She didn't have close friends in particular, but at least she knew how she stood with everyone.

Well, almost everyone.

There was one exception. Amy had watched her since the beginning of the school year, the tall and thin and often slightly fragile-looking one. She couldn't get a read on Pearl, she didn't really know what to think of her, but she was a little bit too shy to just go and talk to her. Pearl was older, after all, and had never made any visible attempt to talk to anyone before.

 

Fifth week. One month in. Pearl carefully put her belongings in the same place. Textbook. Pencil case. Oh. No paper left. She frowned, internally chastising herself for not checking the night before. But hey! This was an opportunity to speak to someone. She nervously cleared her throat and walked over to a nearby desk. "Um... hi."

The girl sitting at the desk pulled out an earphone. Lazily texting without looking at Pearl. "Yo."

"Could I maybe... um. Aquire some paper?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Great, thanks."

"No problem."

"Sweet."

She didn't get a reply.

Defeated, Pearl took the few sheets of A4 and sat down. Ready to plant her face into the desk.

 

Amy watched the interaction from three desks behind Pearl, fascinated. Had she just witnessed an actual attempt at conversation from Pearl? She gave a quiet chuckle, too quiet for Pearl to hear, and continued to watch her from a distance.

 

Still determined. Pearl was still determined. She looked around, gazing for potential people to bump into. Just one conversation. Anything. Ah. Buck Dewey. The masterful class clown. So wonderfully poignant in his humour. But how?

Pearl looked at her water bottle. Yes. The perfect angle. She knocked it just right. The bottle fell and rolled under his desk. Excellent. She walked over. "Oh my! It seems my bottle has dropped under your chair."

Buck didn't even change his expression, but after a minute looked down. "Oh man. You're right."

"Do you mind if I...maybe get it?"

"Sure."

"Alright." She bent over. Already defeated. "Thanks."

She sat down again and gave an audible sigh.

 

Amy watched. Pearl knocked down her water bottle on purpose and talked to Buck for half a second, roughly. It seemed Pearl was actively trying to talk to people. She was not being very clever about it. And here Amy was thinking Pearl was _smart_. She couldn't watch the ordeal. Well, not for much longer. A little longer, though. This was too much fun to interrupt prematurely.

 

One more try. Pearl clenched her fist. Okay. Another girl. Pearl saw her walk in and picked up a pencil. She started to sharpen it and got to the bin as she passed by. "Hey!"

She stopped. "Hi."

"I'm...um. Pearl."

"I know. Sup?"

"Oh. Not much."

"Good. Me neither. Well. I gotta sit down. See ya."

Well. It wasn't too bad.

 

Hmmm... maybe Pearl was getting better. Her conversation with the girl near the bin almost lasted an entire thirty seconds. Well, maybe twenty-five. Gotta cut a girl some slack.

Amethyst grinned to herself. Maybe her time had come. She got up as if to sharpen her pencil, like Pearl had just done, and accidentally-on-purpose ran into Pearl's table hard enough to mess up all of her neatly ordered stuff.

 

Pearl squawked. "WHOAH! What the heck?" She looked in the source of it, eyeing Amy up. She sighed and started to tidy up her things again.

 

 

Amy pretended to be annoyed. "Well, sorry duuude," she said, stretching the last word. "'s not my fault if your stuff is in my way." Upon reflection, this was probably also not the best way to make friends. She did bend up to pick up a notebook and a pen that had fallen down, putting them back on Pearl's desk.

 

Pearl glared. Deeply upset. She liked her order. But she couldn't blame Amy. "You're forgiven. But for information, my stuff was neatly on my desk. The same way it's been there for the past month."

 

Oh, how generous! She was forgiven. Amy grinned. "Are you sure about that? Cus something's different." She didn't give Pearl the chance to answer, but stomped back to her seat. The teacher came in only a moment later to start the lesson. Amy was still smiling to herself; this was a game now, and she couldn't _wait_ to continue it after the lesson.

 

The entire lesson had Pearl staring at her arrangement. It seemed normal but... Amy had to be messing with her! She glanced at the girl, chewing her lip. Oh yeah. That tone. That smug smile. She knew exactly what she was doing.

It still drove Pearl nuts.

 

Amy  caught Pearl's eyes a few times during the lesson and grinned at her cheerfully. She wondered if she'd figured out yet what Amethyst had been hinting at earlier. Probably not, from the way she was staring at her desk. Amy kept herself from laughing. That would be unfair.

 

Pearl’s leg began to bounce. When they met eyes the second time, Pearl looked down with a scowl. WHAT WAS IT? She fidgeted. Anxious. She looked at Amy and flinched. Fuck this. Fuck making friends. Fuck people. She wanted to scream.

 

Amy only noticed Pearl was getting fidgety because she was watching her so closely. She even flinched when looking at Amy. It made her a bit uncomfortable - she'd only wanted to mess with Pearl a little, not actually get her upset. She breathed a small sigh of relief when the bell rang at the end of the lesson, and got up quickly. "Yo, P!"

 

Pearl hesitated. The first consonant of her name. No one called her 'P'. Pearlie, maybe. Though, no one tended to give her nicknames. No one really said her name, apart from family and Rose. "I assume you're asking for my attention?"

 

Amy bounced over to Pearl. "God, do you always have to be so formal? Loosen up a bit. You figure out what's different yet?" She checked her timetable; they had physics next. She began to wander in the general direction, hoping Pearl would follow her. Well, she would anyway. She'd missed a lot of classes in the first week, but not since then; she was practically a perfect student. Not like Amy.

 

"No! No, I don't!" Pearl finally snapped. "I've been staring at my desk for the past hour and I'm ready to scream." She trailed after Amy. "I demand you tell me what you did!"

 

"What, me?" Amy laughed. "I didn't do anything! I was just _observing_." She grinned at Pearl. "You're what's different," she then explained. "You actually talked to people today."

 

Pearl flinched. Her eyes wide. Paranoia flowing through her. She'd been having so much progress with her health and just today seemed so... unstable. Amy couldn't know about her theraphy, could she? No no. That was paranoia. "Yes. I did. And you... Um. Noticed that?"

 

Amy shrugged. "Don't read too much into it. You're just the only person in this year I don't know yet. And I'm curious. You wanna go to physics together?"

 

Pearl blinked and then crossed her arms. In all this, she'd... done her homework. "Um. Yes. Sure. Hey. I'm Pearl and I'm a year older than everyone, so I don't tend to really... talk much." _I'm Pearl?_ She wanted to slap herself. Amy had given her a nickname. "Yeah. That's about it. I'm not too, heh, interesting."

 

Yeah, yeah, she knew all of that. Whether Pearl was interesting or not, though - well, Amy was going to form her own opinion on that. "I'm Amy," she said. "And I'm starving. Do you think I'll survive physics without eating something first?"

 

"Yes. But your comfort should come first. Do you have anything to eat on you?" Pearl frowned.

 

"Nah," Amy said. "Was just gonna buy something during lunch." Physics was just up the stairs. It was taught by a young blonde bespectacled teacher who looked like she was even more of a nerd than Pearl (if that was even possible). Amy grinned at Pearl. "Do you have anything to eat with you?"

 

Pearl awkwardly looked at her bag. "Only some gum to keep me going. Want a stick? It's spearmint."

 

"Spearmint, huh?” Amy grinned. “How ironic." She took Pearl's gum. The stairs were almost entirely climbed by the time she'd put it in her mouth. "You mind if i sit with you in physics?" she asked Pearl. They had assigned seats, but they were also seniors, and the seat next to Pearl was always free. Amy was sure their teacher – whose name was, incidentally, Miss Spearmint - wouldn't mind.

 

"Um. Sure." Pearl then flashed Amy the smallest of smiles. But it wasn't forced or manipulative. Genuinely grateful. "What did you get for the homework?"

 

That was a smile! Amy grinned back, delighted. "Homework? We had homework?" she then asked. "Haha." She didn't do her homework very often - it was really only when the subject interested her or the teacher scared her, and neither of these were the case for physics. Miss Spearmint wasn't a bad teacher, but scary looked different.

 

"She said she'd give detentions out to anyone that didn't do it. You know how new teachers are. Trying to seem all rock hard when they join." Pearl then looked around. A glimmer in her eye. She was going to propose something... naughty. "If you're sitting next to me, you could copy mine. It's just textbook work."

 

Amy laughed. "Detentions? Really? I'll believe it when I see it." Her eyes widened at Pearl's offer. "Really? That's surprisingly cool of you." It was an easy way out of a potentially uncomfortable situation, so she was very happy to take up Pearl on her offer.

 

"I guess I'm just paranoid. Don't want to break a seven year record of no detentions. Hah." She chuckled softly as they came in. Pearl quickly tossed her the excercise book. "Most recent page. I marked it with the blue pen. Black is for class work."

 

"Well, you did the work, so you wouldn't get detentions, would you?" Amy eagerly grabbed Pearl's notebook and copied the work into her own quickly. Her handwriting was sloppy compared to Pearl's neat, regular writing, but Amy didn't particularly care. "Jeez, I shouldn't be surprised you went all this time without getting detention. I'm holding up a grand streak of -" She counted quickly in her head, "sixteen days. Not too bad, huh?"

 

"Heh. Well. I've heard worse." Pearl gave a giggle which was cut short by the entrance of their Physics teacher. The short woman wore stilettos that gave her way too many inches, but it seemed everyone was too polite to say anything. Perhaps it was compensation for her lack of height. She wore glasses and her hair was tied back in a hasty bun. As she came in she muttered something far too close to 'Lazuli' and 'stole my boardmarkers the last time'. She flomped a stack of books and a laptop onto her table and gave a haphazard grunt.

"Afternoon, class. I know you all want to leave for lunch. I had stuff planned but regretfully due to a lack of respect from the English department, I'm going to have to go and try and find some actual utensils to write with."

 

Amethyst snickered, maybe a little too loudly. She didn't pay attention to Miss Spearmint too closely, though, because she was still busy copying Pearl's notes. When she looked up, the teacher was gone, the room around them abuzz with the other students' conversations. Amy leaned back, gave Pearl back her exercise book and grinned at her new friend.

"So if Spearmint doesn't come back that means we can leave, right?" she said.

 

"That rule only applies for fifteen minutes of no show," Pearl replied, eyes trailed on the clock. "I hope she won't make us catch up during lunch. I've got plans."

 

Amy took out her phone and checked it. "When did she leave?" She was going to count down those fifteen minutes to the second. When Pearl said she had plans for lunch, Amy looked up. "Plans?" she echoed, surprised. She didn't think Pearl even had anyone to have plans with. Or did she just go off by herself somewhere?

 

"Two minutes ago," Pearl confirmed, smirking. "Yes. I'm going out for lunch. Just a small thing I do with... some people from school."

 

"Really?" Amy raised her eyebrows. "I've never seen you with anyone before. It's like you don't have friends, well, you do now, but I know for a fact you're not going for lunch with me." She cocked her head, thinking. "Is it someone special? Are you going on a _date_? C'mon, you can tell me. Girl like you's gotta have people running after you like crazy." She blushed slightly while she said it and hoped Pearl wouldn't notice.

 

Pearl began to chuckle. "Hah! I wish! No, no. No one special. Yet. Hopefully. It's just a routine. You, um, wouldn't know them... personally." It wasn't a lie. But God. It was only now that she realised that this whole arrangement was so... weird.

 

Not a date! Not that Amy thought her own chances better for that, though. She was almost eighteen, but had no evidence so far that anyone would like her romantically. Least of all someone like Pearl. It was just a silly little crush, anyway. She smiled at Pearl brightly. "That's cute! Good luck with your... not-date, then." She wondered who this supposedly not special person was. Maybe she should go spy on Pearl... but that wouldn't be fair. She considered doing it anyway.

 

Pearl gave a delighted laugh. "Thanks! I'll... I'll be honest, it's not very... orthodox. I kind of have a thing for them. And they're... a lot older. We've had moments but I'm sure they're not... interested. But. Hah. I hope that maybe I can..."

 

She let Pearl trail out, then grinned. "Sounds interesting," she said. "Age isn't really all that important, anyway. I mean, you're an adult, right?" She had to be, if she was older than Amy. "And I don't really blame you, I mean, there's a couple really hot older people around."

 

"Yeah... but, um. They might have... a professional responsibility to safeguard... me." Pearl gave an awkward chuckle. "Oh wait, that sounds like they're related to me. They're not! She's not related to me!"

 

Amy raised an eyebrow, then broke into an even wider grin. "You're dating a teacher? Wow! Who is it? Wait, lemme guess - Quartz, right? You're secretly dating Miss Quartz." She'd seen the two of them have conversations outside of class more than once, and she'd always just assumed it was about some extra work Pearl was doing for bio classes. But Pearl's words now painted a different picture. "Don't worry, I won't tell," she added quickly.

 

Pearl gave her the look.

That look literally ran in the family. So aghast. "Tell no one!" she whispered. "I'm not... dating her. I wish I was. But I'm just... meeting her. We talk and eat. It's... oh my god, it sounds like a date but it is not!"

 

"Aw man," Amy said. She was still grinning. "I'm kinda jealous, to be honest. She's super cute. How the hell did you manage that?" She was careful to keep her voice down - she was sure nobody was actually listening to their conversation, but it was still kind of a dangerous subject, and the last thing she wanted to do is get her new friend in trouble.

 

 _I manipulated her a lot._ Pearl looked down. "She was worried about me. I think it's me being older that let her get... more close. It's... an odd friendship but it works and that's what I care about."

 

Amy assumed that this arrangement had taken place in the first week, when Pearl had missed a lot of classes for some reason, and she knew not to ask about stuff that was potentially bothersome. "That's pretty cool," she said. "Think you're gonna get with her after graduation?" That's probably what Amy would aim for. That is, if she was ever given a chance like that.

 

"Oh, goodness! Well. A girl can dream." Pearl smiled, looking distant for a second before glancing at the clock. Five more minutes. Could she tell Amy about her...issues? No. It'd make her go away.

 

"Hehe. It'd be cute." Amy checked her phone at the same time as Pearl glanced at the clock. "Do you think she'll turn up again? If not, I'll have done all this homework for nothing. Well, not done it, but you know." She'd barely finished her sentence as Miss Spearmint came charging back into the room. Amethyst eyed her regretfully. It would have been cool to talk to Pearl some more.

 

The rest of the class had gone fairly smoothly. Spearmint collected homework, leading for a sigh of relief from from Pearl. At least Amy was safe. By the end of it, she caught herself oddly giddy at the prospect of seeing Rose.

 

Luckily, Spearmint finished the lesson on time, and Amy smiled at Pearl brightly. "Have a nice lunch, then! I'll see you after." She'd find people to hang with during lunch, that was never really a problem. Pearl was much more interesting than all of those boringers, though, but Amy would survive. She waved at Pearl and then quickly made her way to the cafeteria.

 

She waved goodbye and speedwalked to reception to sign out. Soon she was on her way to their usual spot. The café. She wondered if Rose had already made it there.

 

Rose was a little late - an 8th grader had kept her occupied with lots of really complicated questions after class, and she'd only just managed to get away. She hurried to the cafe, where Pearl was already waiting.

"Hello," she said, smiling at her student. "I'm sorry, I was held up. How are you today?"

 

"I'm... actually pretty great. I think I might have made a new friend. She's... really nice." Caught onto her feelings a little too quick. She begged that Rose couldn't tell the extent of her own quite as easily. "Apparently the English crew keeps stealing stuff from science. Unless it's common practise to mess with the new teachers. Miss Spearmint was gone for ages trying to get her things back."

 

"Oh, that's exciting! Who is it?" Rose smiled, genuinely happy that Pearl had made a friend. Their weekly lunches were nice, but Pearl really needed friends. Friends her own age, who weren't teachers and who she didn't have awkward romantic tension with. At the mention of English teachers stealing stuff from science teachers, Rose chuckled. Yeah, Lapis had taken quite a shining to little Peridot, and the physics teacher was too insecure to defend herself. "It happens," she said.

 

"You know Amy in my year? Kind of short, blond-ish... yeah. She's... well. We didn't really get off on the right foot but she's kind." Pearl offered a smile at this. The smile then sank. "I'm just... well. I kind of got really worried about my mental health affecting her. I'm scared of letting... normal people know I'm not right up there. I know no one's perfect but I feel like if she knows the truth of how bad I can get, she won't want to be my friend anymore."

 

"That's a perfectly valid concern." Rose's smile didn't falter. "I've known Amethyst for years now and she's a great girl. She seems like she's loud and rude and doesn't give a damn but that's just on the surface. Just get to know her a bit better. And if you still feel like you can't talk to her about these things, you'll still have me." Amethyst and Pearl might seem like a mismatched pair, but Rose felt like it was going to be wonderful. They could balance each other out.

She only took her eyes off Pearl when a waiter came over to take their orders.

 

"I'll have the soup of the day," Pearl said after looking at her menu and then paused. "... Amethyst? I didn't realise. Oh. That's such a nice name." She then processed over Rose's words and then gave a nod. It didn't solve anything but at least it made things more... easy to digest. "You're right. I'm just glad I managed to hit it off with someone. I was starting to think I really was broken."

 

Rose ordered a panini and then smiled at Pearl again. "Yeah, I think Amethyst is a lovely name too. I could never understand her distaste for her full name." Being a teacher, she of course had access to everyone's full name. She called Amethyst Amy because she respected her students' preferences, but it was a very beautiful name.

"So apart from making new friends, have you been up to anything exciting?" she asked.

 

"Hm. Just the usual. Going to my mental health stuff and stuff at home. Without the crazy, I'm really not that interesting, am I?" She gave a chuckle, but deeply... there was a little too much truth. She felt herself slipping. "I mean... sorry. Things are getting intrusive. Up there."

 

"Take your time," Rose said gently. "Interesting is not a thing a person has to be, necessarily, and especially now that you're just starting to recover. It'll come, in time. On that note, have you ever thought about becoming a scientist? You've shown remarkable aptitude in the extra work I gave you at the start of the year." She was probably grasping at straws, but on the other hand Pearl _had_ written the most thought-out response to the questions that she'd ever seen in anyone who still went to school. And she felt it was important to let Pearl know that what she was doing was enough.

 

"You think? I don't know about the future. After the whole dancing thing was taken away, I kind of just gave up but... who knows? It might be fun." Pearl tilted her head into a crooked smile and then sighed. "Sorry, I don't know what's going on. Things should be okay. They've been okay. I just... don't know why they're not. I feel this odd sense... actual dread."

 

"Dread?" Rose as mildly surprised, but she believed Pearl. "You mean, like something... bad is about to happen?" Yeah, that was generally the definition of dread. She wanted to reassure Pearl, but she was interested if her feelings were any more specific than this.

 

"My other sister's coming back home to stay for a week. I'm... it should be okay. I'm not scared like I was before but something just feels really amiss." Pearl frowned into the table.

 

Pearl's other sister? Her name was Blue, wasn't it? "Is she like Aurora?" If so, it would hopefully not be a problem. And if it was - well, Pearl had her number. "If something happens, you can come over again. You know where I live now, after all."

 

"I don't want to burden you," Pearl replied, softly stroking her hair a little in her anxiety. "But I appreciate it. This. Everything. It means a lot. I hope that it's not too much trouble to keep an eye on me like this."

 

Rose smiled softly. "Not a burden at all, otherwise I wouldn't do it. I'm glad to get to know you a little better now - past your issues, I mean. And I'm happy to help any way I can." It was true. Now that spending time wasn't coloured by Pearl's issues as much anymore, she genuinely enjoyed being around Pearl. She was a smart, thoughtful young woman who showed a lot of promise, and Rose would be honoured to call her a friend.

They weren't quite on the same level yet. Not just because Rose was Pearl's teacher. Pearl hadn't even really asked how Rose was yet - not that it mattered, really, but it would have been nice to establish this as a two-way relationship more.

 

Pearl flushed at this. It was embarrassing to think of just how much she had let her teacher know. She then frowned. Oh god, she was so selfish! She hasn't even tried to find out about Rose. "But, Miss, how was your weekend? Had a good time?"

 

Rose smiled. It was as if Pearl had seen her thoughts. "Yeah, I had a great weekend! I had a date, it was very successful." She probably wasn't supposed to tell Pearl about her life in this amount of detail. Quickly, because she remembered that her date hadn't really been successful in the traditional sense, she added, "I dumped him."

 

Pearl's face fell at the concept of a prospective date. And then lit back up at the addition of the dumping. "Oh? If you don't mind me asking, what happened, Miss?"

 

It was worth it just to see the expression change on Pearl's face. Rose was quite reassured that Pearl liked her by this point, but it was nice to get some reassurance in this point. She gave Pearl a smile. "Oh, he was a bit of an ass," she said cheerfully. "Told me I'd be hotter if I lost a few pounds. I don't have time for people like that." She hadn't spent the past fifteen-odd years coming to terms with her weight and the fact that she could hardly change it, to be told things like that by arrogant men who had seen perfectly attracted to her only moments earlier.

 

"Fuck him. Fuck the bastard. Miss, you're absolutely perfect." She then paused and awkwardly looked away. "Haha. I mean... You're nice. And pretty. And I'm glad you got someone who tried to put you down out of your life."

 

She was glad beyond reason that Pearl agreed with her, but if she was honest, she'd hardly expected Pearl not to. Pearl's words were like soothing balm on her soul. "Thank you," she simply said. She didn't technically _need_ validation, but it was nice anyway, especially after what happened on the weekend.

Their food arrived only a moment later, and Rose dug in happily. It didn't matter what Rob thought. Pearl thought she was perfect. Rose knew she was perfect.

 

Pearl watched her, happily sipping at her soup. Rose looked nice today. She usually did, but somehow it was even better. Maybe it was the way the light hit her face, or the outfit. But somehow, her cheeks grew warmer than the blushed wind of the Indian summer. The winter may have been just around the corner but she still found herself without a jacket despite her perpetual coldness. It was also the soup, pleasant in warmth.

 

It was difficult not to smile while looking at Pearl, who was practically glowing as she ate her soup. Not for the first time, Rose found herself wishing that she wasn't Pearl's teacher because Pearl so very obviously loved her, and Rose wanted nothing more than to give Pearl what she wanted. It was her nature; giving and giving.

"It's only been a month, and you've already come so far," she said softly. "I'm so proud of you, Pearl."

 

Pearl blinked back into reality and gave a confused, dazed look with her baby blue eyes. Where had that come from? Oh well. She appreciated the sentiment either way. She was into any praise from Rose, a little too much. "I'm trying to be better, Miss. I'm just happy to have your support. It means so, so much."

 

It was the only thing she could give. The only thing she would ever be able to give until the school year finished. She was positive Aurora wouldn't betray her now, but she still remembered her words - Principal Diamond would most likely not be very pleased with a queer teacher-student affair happening right under her nose.

Not that there was anything going on.

Rose finished her meal, lost in thought, just smiling at Pearl now and then.

 

Pearl loved that smile. She loved the way it curled past those healthy cheeks. She loved those dark eyes, and the way they seemed so genuine in all she said and did. She loved the way the curls bounced in the sunlight. She wanted to trail her hands through them. She wanted to tell Rose she loved her for everything. All the kindness and all the help. She finished her soup, awkwardly looking at herself. It wasn't possible. Her body wasn't good enough. She wasn't good enough. Her mind wasn't stable enough.

Pearl loved Rose.

But Pearl wasn't enough.

She smiled for Rose, anyway.

 

The rest of the meal passed uneventfully. Rose could feel Pearl's eyes on her. She wondered dimly when she had last been genuinely infatuated - in love, even? She couldn't remember. Pearl, on the other hand... Pearl was a teenager still. Everything would be so intense for her.

Rose kind of missed the feeling. Romance was so easy for her these days - if she was attracted to someone and they liked her too, they would delve into an affair and rarely more than that. It was the way Rose liked it. But she'd not felt that spark of actual, genuine love for years.

She paid for lunch and smiled at Pearl before they separated. "I'll see you in class tomorrow," she said. "I hope everything goes okay with your sister."

 

"I hope so, too." She gave a small smile and watched Rose leave. "Thanks, Miss."

Pearl looked through her planner, checking that she had English with Lazuli next. She flicked through her copy of Much Ado. It was a decent play, fun enough for a Shakespearian comedy. She wished for that kind of banter, connection in her life. As she walked to sign back into reception, she felt a taller presence behind her. She anxiously turned on her heel.

Golden eyes stared her down.

 

 

Pearl nearly screamed but managed to contain herself enough to quietly mumble, "Hello, Principal Diamond."

She'd never met anyone less personally suited for anything to do with children. Diamond was the type to... conquer a planet, maybe. BDSM porn. Anything but looking after a school. With that fierce glare, demand for authority and dominance, Pearl was left quaking in her shoes. Her voice was cold, like frosty glass. "You're going to be late. I'd suggest you sign in and get to class."

"Yes, Miss."

Pearl ran. Ran.

 

Pearl was a little late for English, so Amy didn't get to talk to her before, and they were sat far enough apart that she couldn't just mutter at her during class. Lazuli was kind of strict with her seating arrangements so she couldn't just go and sit next to Pearl either. She would have to wait until after the lesson.

She sent Pearl a grin, though, and a somewhat knowing look. She couldn't wait to hear about her friend's date with Rose Quartz. Not that it had been a date, but Amy was curious anyway.

 

Pearl returned the smile, a blush on her cheeks. It seemed to have made its home there over the past few weeks. She sat down and opened her bag. Lazuli had written down some tasks on the board already. "Miss!" she called out, hand up. "Would it be okay if I maybe paired up with someone for task two? It says to discuss with a partner and I'm on my own."

 

"Of course," Lazuli said. "Does anyone v-"

Amy's hand shot up before Lazuli had finished her sentence. "I don't have anyone to work with either!" she said loudly. She'd been working with two of her friends but they could do perfectly well without her. Miss Lazuli nodded. "Very well, then. Sit next to Pearl so you don't disturb the others."

Amy was only too happy to agree and carried her stuff over to Pearl. "Nice one," she whispered as she sat down next to her. "So how'd it go?"

 

"Typical angst at the knowledge I'm never going to be able to get with her. But the soup was good," she replied, smiling. She passed her book over, having written some neat notes to answer the question. "Got caught by Diamond, though. Yikes. That woman gives me the willies."

 

"Aww." Amy patted Pearl's back. "Just remember, graduation's just a few months away!" She grabbed Pearl's book and read through the answers. "Wow, yeah, Diamond is wayyy creepy." She pointed at one of the answers. "I'm not sure I agree with that."

 

"True." She sighed. It wouldn't change anything, though, would it? Even though she was already an adult, Rose was obligated by school to not ever really date students. She glanced down at the book. "Hm. True. I scribbled it down as just a thought, but I'm pretty sure I might be wrong."

 

"Nah," Amy said. "You just have a different opinion, doesn't mean you're wrong. It's English, P." It was actually one of the subjects Amy was pretty good at. In her view, analysing texts and poetry was just making stuff up that vaguely correlated to the words in the actual piece, so she never had a problem with it. And the best thing was that there was, objectively, no way to be wrong.

 

"I know, but I may have misinterpreted the text and not gotten a correct meaning. That's why we work together. In case one of us messes up." She looked at Amethyst's book.

 

Amy laughed. Her laugh was loud and she got a few critical looks, but Lazuli didn't say anything. "That's the cool thing about English, though," she said. "There is no wrong. Everything is right as long as you can explain it in a way that makes sense." She grabbed Pearl's book and read over it again. "Like, I got something else but that doesn't make mine more right than yours. This isn't like maths or physics." She cast a grin at Lazuli at the mention of physics, remembering that earlier, Lazuli had stolen Spearmint's stuff.

 

Pearl gave a tiny smile at Amethyst words. Softly pressing her pencil against her pink lip. Yes, she was correct. She carefully scribbled another sentence and softly sighed. Forty more minutes and she'd be free.

 

Amy watched Pearl and noticed her companion was getting bored. Maybe anxious? Anyway, Amy couldn't really let that happen. "Hey, let's play a game," she said. "See this poem we're supposed to read and analyse later? Let's see who can come up with the most ridiculous things, and say them in class and still get away with it."

 

"W-wha? But won't that just waste everyone's time?" Pearl then grazed on the pencil. "Though, now that I think about it, it could be fun."

 

"Pearl, this entire lesson is a huge waste of time. Who cares why some poet five hundred years ago wrote what he did? Having fun with it is the least we can do!" She grinned at Pearl, then read over the poem. She already had some brilliant ideas. She knew how to play this game.

 

Well. Pearl wanted to please her new friend and nervously nodded. She glanced at a poem, Blake. Pearl struggled to grasp at the poet's odd world. The languages of the songs of innocence were just from a different mindset. Foreign to her own.

 

Amy started with some of her more harmless ideas and watched Pearl catch on. Pearl learned quickly, Amy noticed with satisfaction, although she still had to work on the whole 'fun' aspect of it. Amy kept the silly ideas coming and coming until the lesson was almost over, then grinned at Pearl victoriously. "See? It's easy."

 

Pearl chuckled, writing the silliest things her mind could bring forward. "Ohoho. But what about a... Freudian interpretation? Everything is penis. Every word looks like a penis. This poem is a penis."

 

Amethyst grinned at her widely. "See, now you're getting it!" She took her pen and proceeded to draw penises on every single letter of them poem. Well, maybe not every single one... she kind of got bored after the first line. "And here I was thinking you weren't even into dick," she said.

 

"I'll be honest, I really wish I was. Then things would be incredibly easy and I'd have no awkward crushes at an all girls’ school." She gave a low smile. Sad. "I'm thankful you don't mind I'm gay, though."

 

Amy shrugged. "I dunno if boys are any easier than girls. Not that I'd know," she said, then added, "I think lotsa people here are queer as shit. I'm not even sure about myself. I like people, not their parts, mostly." She thought about her neighbour, Vidalia, who was the only person she'd ever actually admit to having a crush on. Well, she'd not admit it to _her_. But she'd met cute boys. Lots of cute girls. Cute nonbinary people too. There were lots of cute people around.

 

Pearl sat, deep in thought. Huh. So, she truly wasn't alone. And she only found this out after bitterly fighting a war against her own sexuality and desires. In truth, she couldn't even bring herself to be mad. She was too tired to fight her needs.

 

Pearl herself was pretty cute, Amethyst thought. Well, she wasn't really just now noticing it for the first time, that would be silly, she'd already noticed her last year when Pearl was in the year above her and busted her knee. Being friends with her would be exciting.

"You alright, P?" she asked when she realised Pearl hadn't actually said anything for a few minutes.

 

"I'm fine. Just thinking, that's all." Pearl lazily gazed at Amethyst through her lashes. "Could do with a smoke right now. Can't wait to get home."

 

"You smoke too? Huh." Amy tried not to let her surprise show - probably did a piss poor job of it. It didn't fit with the image she had of Pearl. Well... maybe Pearl wasn't actually as perfect as she seemed.

 

"To cope. Stress and all that needs some relief, and I don't go to enough parties to down it out with drinks." Pearl didn't go to any parties for that matter, but Amethyst didn't need to know that.

 

"I feel ya." Amy had smoked for two years now, an irregular habit she'd probably try to get rid of if she gave a damn about herself. As it was, she didn't, and her smoking infuriated her parents which was all the more reason to keep going.

 

Fifteen more minutes. "Doing anything fun this week?" Pearl asked, actually curious.

 

"Probably not." Amy didn't really do... fun things. A party now and then that she was mostly invited to for completeness's sake, not because anyone actually wanted her around, she was convinced. "Some people are probably gonna meet up to get drunk on the weekend," she said, "might join them if I feel like it."

 

"Ah, nice." Pearl felt a deep pang of envy resonate below her collarbone. She began to stare at the clock again.

 

"Not really," Amy admitted. "It's boring. It's all they ever do. And they're right stupid when they're pissed. Why don't they ever do anything interesting? Like go to a themepark. Or festivals. Or wrestling matches. Man, I'd love to go see a wrestling match sometime. Just don't have anyone to go with." Amy was surprised at the amount of words that had suddenly come out of her mouth. But Pearl wasn't with them; she wouldn't mind her ranting.

 

"Hah. That's what I pretty much expected." Pearl shrugged, but couldn't help but feel slightly sorry for the other. In her old year group she used to at least go out with some people. Shopping. Lunch. No wonder she was so lonely without it.

 

"Hm," Amy nodded in agreement. She was silent for a few seconds, then grinned up at Pearl. "We should do something together. Like, something fun. Wanna go to a wrestling match with me?"

 

"Hmm..." Going to that kind of... circle of violence? It seemed like the polar opposite of what she liked. But with Amy... Hmm...

 

Amy could tell Pearl was reluctant, so she dropped the idea and sighed. "It's okay if you don't wanna. We could go something else. I dunno. What do you like?" Maybe, Amy thought, she should pick up wrestling as a sport. Her parents had always tried to get her to do sports, so she hadn't simply out of defiance, but wrestling was far removed from basketball or tennis or swimming, so maybe her parents wouldn't like it. She grinned to herself.

 

"No, no. I'd honestly love to." Pearl gave an earnest smile, not wanting to discourage the younger of the two. "It'd be interesting. I've never tried to watch something like that, but it'd be nice from a performance point of view. I've heard a lot of it isn't very legit."

 

Amethyst grinned. “Yeah, they probably don’t wanna actually hurt anyone,” she said. At least, if it was anything like what she’d heard. "I'm gonna find out where we can go watch one," she promised. "It’s just gonna be fun to watch." She checked her clock: five minutes left.

 

"I remember the boys in my year talking about The Wreck. It's that shady part of town near the dump with the tyre fire where you get drugs at. Apparently they host tournaments there, but I think it might be a little more... extreme than TV, actually. Not to mention, somewhat illegal."

 

Amy looked at Pearl while she was talking, her grin slowly widening until she was practically glowing with excitement. " _Perfect,_ " she whispered. "We need to go. As soon as possible. Do you know when the tournaments are?"

 

"Oh God, I haven't been there for years." Pearl had only gone there when she had a semblance of friendship. "It used to happen on the days they let the fire go out because otherwise the smoke got too bad in the ring. I mean, I never cared because I was too busy doing... the other things you do at the Wreck." She spied Lazuli in earshot. "Actually, my sister Blue was far more into the scene back in the day. She'll be home tonight. I'll ask her."

 

Amy was absolutely astonished that Pearl had not only been to the Wreck, but apparently did questionable things there as well.

"Wow. Damn, P, you're a lot cooler than you look." She was half tempted to ask Pearl to hook her up with someone. But maybe not right now, with Lazuli only a few feet away. "Yeah, ask your sis. She could come with us if she wants. Is she older than you?"

 

Pearl swallowed. Nervous. And then booped Amethyst on the nose. "Don't do kids, drugs. Not a good plan." And then she smiled a little. "By a couple of years. She's kind of ultra successful all things considered. But she's good at getting to the top."

 

Amy shrugged. "It'd piss off my parents. Never had the contacts to get into it before, though." She grinned at Pearl. "Your sister sounds rad."

 

Pearl stiffened at the mention of Blue. "Yeah. She's alright." Always less of a strain than Aurora, it seemed. But something about knowing Blue was back made her feel deeply unsettled. "I'll speak to her tonight. Do you have a phone number I can update you on it by text? I-if kids these days don't text anymore that's alright too. I can download... an app."

 

Amy noticed Pearl tensing up but thought little of it. She laughed. "Sure, you can have my number. Are you saying you don't have Facebook? Whatsapp? Snapchat?" That was weird. But hey, Amy wasn't one to judge.

 

"I have precisely none of those things." Pearl began to pack. "I mean, social media is about being social and I'm... not."

 

"You're doing fine just now, though." Without much further ado, Amy ripped out a small strip of paper from a page in her exercise book and scribbled her number on it. "There. You can read it, right?" It was close to the end of the lesson, so she started putting her stuff in her bag as well.

 

"Yeah. I'll put it in once we're allowed out. Thank you." Peark smiled, ready to leave. "I can't wait!"

 

"Yeah! Me neither." In that moment, the bell rang. Amy stuffed the remaining things into her bag and got up. "Wanna go out for a smoke?"

 

"Sure." The thought itself cheered Pearl up swiftly. "I've been craving all day. Especially since I bumped into Diamond."

 

"You ran into Diamond? Oh, yeah, you said. God, that woman gives me the creeps." Amy dug her cigarettes out of her bag while they made their way out of the school along with a horde of other students. "You got fire?" she asked Pearl.

 

Pearl passed her zippo over. "Yeah, Christ. She stared me down completely."

 

A zippo? Wow. "Thanks, man." She took a cig out of her pack and lit it. Taking her first drag, she looked up at Pearl. "So did Diamond do or say anything... weird?" The school was generally ablaze with speculation about Principal Diamond, because nobody really knew anything about her. Amy liked the theory that she was really an alien empress, come to subdue schoolchildren and eventually rule the Earth. It was a silly theory, but that was exactly why Amy loved it.

 

Pearl took out her tobacco and delicately sprinkled it onto liquorice paper. A mint filter was popped in later. "Nothing out of the ordinary. But it's weird. She still treats adults and sixth formers like little kids."

 

"Aw, man. And here I was hoping for proof for my insane conspiracy theories." She grinned at Pearl, took another drag and shrugged. "Probably thinks she's better than us, like most adults."

 

"Yeah. But even teachers treat us more like people now. It's like I'm... lower than her. Aurora, my other sister, really likes her, though." Pearl rubbed at her neck. "Though she's never on ground level when it comes to school stuff. Always up in the office."

 

"Whaaaaa – your sister works here? For… her? How on _Earth_ did she manage that? How do you even get close to a person like that?" Amethyst's eyes were huge. "Wow, jeez. What the hell even _are_ your sisters?"

 

 

"Sometimes I'm pretty sure they're not human. Aurora is at least human enough to be way too high strung but... Eh. My family is weird." Pearl shrugged. "Then again, you've got to be a very specific kind of person to ride Diamond's overinflated dick."

 

Amy didn't think she could be _more_ surprised, but yet here she was. Her jaw dropped. "Is she actually - for real? Do they have a - thing? But Diamond is like, super homophobic!" There were few things students knew about the Principal; this was something everyone knew for sure, though.

 

"It was a joke. I think that if Diamond saw pussy she'd melt like the witch from Wizard of Oz." Pearl rolled her eyes. "Thank God I never came out. I don't think I'd be able to handle that kind of bullying from the staff."

 

"Aw, damn." Amy looked disappointed. "And here I thought I'd stumbled on the scandal of the century. Can you imagine?" She laughed. "But yeah, I'd keep it quiet to be honest. Wasn't there a gay couple who got loads of shit from her in your old year?"

 

"Oh, yeah. Ruby and Saff? It's the reason Ruby transferred during the spring term." And then promptly returned, and publically dropped to her knees to ask Sapphire out for prom. The stunt caused her to be excluded for four months. It was a miracle she even got into university. "I was always jealous of how loud and proud they were."

 

"Yeah, them! Caused quite a stir, didn't they? Hah. If I had a girlfriend I'd do the same just to spite the old hag." Amy laughed and took a drag from her cigarette, which was nearly finished.

 

"There's got to be something there if my sister is willing to put up with it." Pearl frowned and tapped the rollie to dust the ashes. "That or my family just has a genetic hereditary kink for older women..."

  
"Hehe, ya think?" She could see it, to be honest. Pearl liked Miss Quartz - why shouldn't her sister like Principal Diamond? Amy was sure there were people who liked those sort of people. She wasn't one of them. "To be fair, if she'd go for kinda intimidating tall older women, she'd totally hit the jackpot with Principal D."

 

"Hah. I doubt my sister is gay. She's too perfect," Pearl replied, a little cold as her envy began to flood. "She wouldn't be like me. Probably has like a million guys after her like at school."

 

Amy frowned. "You can be gay and still be perfect," she said, "being queer isn't a character flaw." She then stubbed out her cigarette and sighed. "I should probably go. But hey, I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" She grinned and held out her hand for a fistbump.

 

Pearl looked at the arm and then at her new friend. Her eyes practically glimmered. She met the first with her own. Smiling with the wholesomeness of a fresh batch of bread. "See you tomorrow."

 

Amy waved, then turned and began the walk home. She didn't live far from school. It was nice hanging with Pearl, she already looked forward to seeing her tomorrow. She was tempted to light another cigarette just so the stench would cling to her all over when she got home, but didn't - if she was honest, it kind of disgusted her. She sighed. When she got home, she did her best to avoid her parents and went into her room that she wouldn't come out of until the next morning - like always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anyone points out that Buck Dewey is at an all girls' school: cut him some slack, he didn't know he was a boy when he first came here. :p


	7. Act II - Chapter II: Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting with this chapter, we will be publishing much shorter chapters - the previous ones have all been something around 8k, the next ones will be more like 2-3k. This is mostly to take some pressure off Ronnie (sockseevil) for the illustrations, and also so we will be able to keep up our once-a-week update schedule. We're slowly but gradually getting towards the end of our RP progress and we'd like to keep publishing as we write more, which will be a lot easier if we publish in smaller increments.  
> We hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also, check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we track the tag "Educating the Victim".

Pearl sat anxiously in her room. The sun had began to set, streaking orange hues over the still hazy skies. She rolled her palms into fists, looking at the phone. If anything went wrong, she had Aurora to call. But Aurora, despite her recent kindness and generosity, had a history of invalidating her issues. A past of 'it's not that bad' and 'you could have it worse'. Even though Aurora had been loving, this and her perfectness left Pearl in the rubble of a crushed self worth.

She heard her parents begin to grow noisy downstairs and took an earphone out. A deep, heavy rumble of a kawasaki ninja. She glanced at the window, seeing a familiar aqua bike driving down her cul de sac. Blue.

Carefully, she paced down. She'd be obligated to say hello. Her parents already stood at the door, anticipating their newcomer. It had been a while since Blue had been at home.

She wore leathers, a pretty shirt underneath her bike jacket as she shrugged off a covering helmet. Her hair, dyed a deep oceanic blue cascaded out and over her face. She held out flowers, a gift. She always brought the folks something. And then glanced up past her praises and welcomes. "Hey. Pearl. What's up?"

 

 

Pearl blinked in surprise. She'd not thought about being spoken to. "Oh. I'm-"

"C'mere and gimme a hug. I'm so tired from the trip."

Pearl closed her mouth and looked around before awkwardly padding down to greet her. Her mother spoke up. "Pearl's been a bit of a problem child recently. Got an absolute earful from Aurora about her running off. And she's back to having to go to a psychotherapist."

Pearl bit her lip. Cringing. She shook a little as a grin formed on Blue's face. A patronising glance. "It's not-" Pearl tried to explain.

"That's okay. People get sick in the head sometimes. Just gotta watch out so they don't go ahead and lock you up." Blue pounced and grabbed Pearl's shoulders before wrinkling her nose. "Christ, Pearlie. You reek of fags."

Pearl felt the colour drain from her face. "I- I..."

Her mother stepped in closer. "You're right. Pearl, have you been... smoking? You know there's not anything like that allowed in the house."

"I- I..."

"Is this where your allowance has been going?"

"No!" She panicked, fearful of the sudden fire. "I don't-"

"Your father doesn't give you money so you can waste it on disgusting things like this."

Pearl frowned at the lecture. Her mom was right. But it still stung. She was an adult.

Blue looked past her bangs. "Mam, don't bother. It's not as if it's worth getting angry over." Pearl didn't miss the quick glance and emphasis on 'it' directed at her. She felt a cold pang run through her. It.

She wasn't worth it.

"I'll talk with you about this later." Her mother then turned to face Blue. "There's dinner at the table if you're hungry. Go make yourself at home and I'll be with you in a bit."

Pearl felt numb. She grabbed at her arm and had to restrain from closing her fist and raking the nails across the pallid skin. She could Blue's stare on her as she walked upstairs. Nervous. Panicked. She needed to talk to someone.

She picked up her phone. Aurora would at least tell her she was being ridiculous for getting so worked up and upset.

Her finger slipped in agitation as she scrolled down by accident and found the screen displaying contacts starting with 'R'.

She froze.

Rose.

She didn't blink. If this was a dream she couldn't let it end.

What? When? For how long had that been there?

It was as if she'd been injected with adrenaline. Her fingers scrambled over the screen and she pressed the call button, as if on impulse.

She hung up by the second beep.

Dread filled her as she realised Rose would see she'd called.

 

Rose was at home, working over some tests when her phone started ringing. She looked up, surprised - very few people ever called her. Her phone was in the kitchen, though; by the time Rose got there, it had stopped ringing.

She took it up and frowned at it. Pearl. She'd never called before. Rose doubted Pearl would call her if there wasn't something serious going on. A crease of worry on her forehead, she dialled Pearl's number.

 

 

Pearl squeaked when the phone began to ring. She looked around and let it buzz. Dreading to see the name calling her. Her hand trailed down and gently picked it up, her finger flicking the green answer button.

 

Rose breathed a sigh of relief when Pearl actually picked up the phone. "Pearl?" she said when Pearl didn't speak. "It's - Rose. Quartz. You called me. Are you okay?"

 

"No not really. I'm... kind of really panicky and scared. My sister just came back and..I messed up I got into trouble it's my fault." She then groaned into a pillow on her bed. "Look. This was stupid. I'll call Aurora."

 

Oh. That... didn't sound good. "It's okay, Pearl," Rose said gently. "If you want to keep talking to me, you can. What happened?"

 

"I don't know. She just came home and everything went wrong! And she was so gleeful at seeing me get hurt."

 

Rose swallowed heavily. That did not sound good at all. Aurora at least had been worried about Pearl, cared about her wellbeing. "This is Blue, right? Does she do this a lot?"

 

"I don't know. I think it's just me. I'm just really... distraught," Pearl said. God, this was just so stupid! Rose wasn't her therapist.

 

Rose sighed. Pearl had been doing so well over the past few weeks. "How long is she staying?" Even if it was just Pearl - it was fairly obvious that this had something to do with Blue at least.

 

"I don't really know. She's over here for a reason but she's... I don't know. I'm so confused and scared."

 

Rose frowned. Did Aurora know Blue was home? Did she know the effect it had on her sister? "Is there anything I can do to help?" she asked Pearl.

 

"No. This was all a stupid idea. I'm sorry for wasting your time."

It isn't worth it.

"I need to go anyway... I have... errands to run." She hoped Rose didn't realise it was eight pm.

It wasn't worth it.

 

"Pearl... you're not wasting my time." Rose frowned when Pearl said she had 'errands' to run. "It's pretty late for that, don't you think?" she asked gently.

 

Pearl closed her eyes.

It wasn't worth it. She wasn't worth it.

"Honestly, it's like I'm a child with an adult body. It wasn't even mean. I took it the wrong way."

Not worth it. Not worth it. Not worth it.

 

Something was very wrong, Rose could tell, she just didn't know exactly why.

"Pearl," she said. "It's okay being upset about things. Even if it's just small things. What did she say?"

 

Pearl gritted her teeth. Her head pounded. Everything felt awful. It was as if she could feel thoughts contorting into ugly creatures, snarling intrusive thoughts into her ears. Whispering how utterly pathetic she'd been. "I- I don't even know. It happened so quick. I'm not... not doing good.” She felt a sting and realised she was digging her nails into where she touched her wrist. "I don't..."

 

Rose frowned. She would definitely try to talk to Aurora the next day. For now, that wasn't enough though. "Pearl," she said gently, "are you safe right now?" If she wasn't - well... she would have to think of another option.

 

"I- I think so," Pearl said shakily, her breathing all over the place as her eyes grew moist. "I'm just... I'm just panicking and I feel like a fucking... fuckup."

 

"Okay." Rose tried to collect her thoughts for a moment. "Try to breathe, Pearl. Slowly. You're not a fuckup, okay? You're smart and talented and..." She swallowed. She didn't want to lay it on too thick. "You're one of my best students," she said. "I enjoy spending time with you. And you're fighting your mental issues and you're, you're doing so well. You're not a fuckup, Pearl."

 

"But they're all better than me. I'm not good enough. I'm nothing compared to them." Pearl found herself on the floor, knees at her chest. "I'm weak and have no future and I'm sick and hurt people. I'm not meant to be something good. I'm not meant to be anything."

 

"You have some way to go," Rose said gently, "but so do they, so do I. So does everyone. And you're going there. You're moving forward and you're going to be great. You're alreasy great. If they can't see that, they must be blind." She spoke her words softly, like a lover, all the while wondering if she was going too far, but Pearl had hardly anyone else in the world.

 

Pearl still shook, feeling herself reach breaking point. Tears swelling and running down her face. "It's not true."

 

Oh no. Rose could tell from her voice that Pearl was crying. She wanted to be there, gather Pearl up in her arms like she had before. Hug her close and tell her she would protect her and take care of her.

"Pearl," she said, her voice like velvet, like the lightest touch. "It's true. I know you well enough to know all of this for sure."

 

Pearl let out a small wail, hurt. "Why do I have to get so easily upset? I hate it! I hate the way I think. I hate myself." She cursed and felt her nails drag over her skin in frustration.

 

It was heartbreaking, hearing Pearl in this state. Rose wished she knew what to do.

"This isn't your fault, Pearl," she said. "People should know how to look after you - especially if they're your family." But then, she reflected, even Aurora, who loved Pearl and wanted her to be safe - even she made mistakes. What would happen if Pearl's other family felt less friendly towards her?

 

"I've always been lower than them. All of them. Even you, Miss." She sniffed, bearing her crown to the phone as she embraced her thin knees. "I'm not good. I got confident and started to think positive about myself and now I'm just upset at the truth."

 

Pearl's words sent a surge of alarm through Rose."Pearl, no," she said, "no, no, you're not lower than anyone -" What was Pearl's sister doing that managed to undo all the work Rose and Aurora had done with Pearl in a month - in an afternoon? "God, Pearl, what did she say to you?"

 

"I don't know." She choked out, as if Blue was there. Strangling her. "But you're wrong. I'm bad. I was stupid in believing I could ever be anything bigger than this."

 

"You've been doing so well." Rose clenched her teeth. "You've come so far in just a month. You can be better, and you will, okay? I'll help you."

 

"What's the point?" Pearl's voice became more desperate. Strained. On edge. She hissed as she felt nails digging into skin again. This time at her pale thighs. Eyes aflame behind a deep, lost glaze. Her insides were lit, burning. "Why are you lying to me?"

 

"I'm not-" Rose struggled, briefly, to retain her composure. "I would never lie to you, Pearl," she said gently when she caught herself. "Not ever."

 

"But you do it too! Like when you made me eat. You must've known how you... made me feel. You know." Pearl's voice was all over the octave, quiet and unsteady. Unstable. She couldn't breathe. Shaking all over again. It wouldn't stop.

 

Rose nearly gasped; she hadn't expected Pearl to bring that up. "I didn't lie to you then," she said, mildly shaken. It was true - she'd merely suggested, and let Pearl read into her gestures. And even if she had explicitly told Pearl she had feelings for her...

That would also not have been a lie.

 

"You knew exactly what you were doing." Pearl whimpered, pathetic. Too far. She had accused Rose of too much. Pearl hesitated to hang up and pretend this all had never happened at all.

 

"Yes." Rose kept her voice even. "But that doesn't mean I was lying." She was straying into dangerous territory, very dangerous indeed; she hardly expected Pearl to believe her.

 

"Then..." Pearl began, grabbing at her hair and shaking. She could hear voices from downstairs. Aurora? She must've swung by to visit Blue, too. "Then what were you doing?"

 

Rose hesitated.

"I was only... touching you," she said, her voice quiet. "I never lied." A small amount of manipulation could hardly be counted as lying, could it? She'd never explicitly told Pearl anything... only that she would be happy if Pearl ate, which had not been a lie.

 

"Why would you do that? You know how much of a risk it is. You know what I could do to you." She hissed through her teeth and instantly regretted it. "Look. Let's... I'm too unstable to feel this way right now. I'm sorry I've put you through so much already. You deserve better. I shouldn't even be at school. I'm never going to get better. Only worse. I'm going to succumb to this... thing in me. And you're just going to be burnt, just like the rest of them." She closed her eyes and winced at the flood of memories over the last year. "You know very little about me past what... this is. I've done this to all the people that used to call me their friend and I'm scared. I'm so scared of doing it to you too. Miss. Just. Stay away from me."

And with that, she hung up.

 

Rose didn't even get the chance to answer.

"...Pearl?", she said nevertheless, into the silent phone, a good few seconds after Pearl had hung up.

She stared at her phone. She was so tempted to call Pearl back, but after a few long minutes of hesitation, decided against it.

She sent a text message instead.

_'I'm not going anywhere. I'm here if you need me. RQ x'_

 

Pearl couldn't look at the text. She felt too embarrassed. Too regretful and shaky at having hung up. What kind of person did that? So melodramatic and stupid. She hissed at herself, grabbing her hair and rolling onto her front. Her sudden scream muffled into the carpet.

 

Rose didn't receive a response to her text.

 

 

She sat for a while, phone in her hand, Pearl's words playing back in her mind. She wondered... wondered if this was the reason why Pearl didn't talk to her old friends anymore, the reason why she was so reluctant to accept any kind of affection at all, why she didn't make friends in her yeargroup easily.

Worry was still simmering in her stomach when Rose finally made herself get back to her work.

  
Pearl was haunted by her thoughts for the rest of the evening. Memories flickered past her eyelids. Each regretful time she'd found the courage to open up and accept some kind of joy, it had always escaped her. Left her. Kicked her down in the dust. She knew she had been doomed even before the injury. Always a problem, a liability. Never a friend. She curled up and breathed hard, eyes stinging from their floods. By the time she'd fallen into a restless sleep, thick red lines had formed and become maps on her pale arms from just how much her nails had uncontrollably dragged across skin.

 

Rose reassured herself that she would see Pearl in school tomorrow, and resolved to talk to Aurora the next day as well. She mentally prepared herself for Aurora to tell her that what happened in Pearl's family was none of her business, but even if that happened - she still had to try.

She went to bed still worrying despite knowing there was nothing she could do.


	8. Act II - Chapter III: Sneaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".

Pearl woke to pounding at her door. She'd slept on the floor and found her forearms burning. It stung. She gritted teeth and brought herself up just in time for Blue to force herself in. A deep knot found itself into Pearl's belly. She felt invaded, alarmed. Her skinny fingers pulled at her blouse to cover her skin.

Blue began to rummage through her shelves. "Came to get your straightener. It's nearly nine, get your fat ass to school."

"Don't! My straightener isn't..."

"Whoah, look at this. You still have them?" Much to Pearl's dissatisfaction, Blue opened a shelf and sequined dresses tumbled out. "Aren't these useless to you now? Why did you keep them?"

"... sentimental value, I guess."

"That's weird. You fell out with all of them, though. That circle. Rori told me." Of course Aurora did. Aurora said everything. "Hah, this one didn't work for you at all. Hey, since you can't dance anymore, can I have them?"

 

She frowned and sighed. "Do whatever, Blue."

It was time to get ready and get to school anyway. She dreaded her last lesson with Rose. At least she found herself at the school gates, roughly dressed and hair a mess, just in time.

 

Amethyst was very nearly late to school, too. She'd gotten into a shouting match with her mother, again. What did she even _care_ about Amethyst's clothes. It wasn't like it was going to affect her parents, was it?

She was still sulking when she got to school, but her face lit up when she spotted Pearl, also only just in time for the first lesson. "Yo, Pearl!" she shouted and picked up her pace to catch up with Pearl.

 

Pearl blinked. As if a ghost had touched the nape of her neck, she twisted on her heel, forcing her jacket sleeves as low as possible. "Amethyst! Hello!" The words tumbled out in her fluster.

 

Amy stopped dead in her tracks, shooting a deeply suspicious look up at Pearl. "How the HELL," she said, "do you know my full name?" She was positive she'd told Pearl her name was Amy. Had Miss Quartz told Pearl? Had they talked about her?

 

Pearl gave a terrified look. Not stable enough to handle such suspicion. "I'm sorry!"

 

Amy squinted at her for just a moment longer, then relaxed. "Chill, 's all good. Just don't tell people, yeah? C'mon, let's go. We've got biology first, don't we?" She grinned at Pearl, then linked her arm with Pearl's and pulled her towards the classroom.

 

Pearl halted. "Um. Maths. With Leggy." She pointed into the other direction. "You must have packed for the other timetable week."

 

"Oh. Right. Yeah." Amy was never on the ball when it came to which lessons she had when, so she'd gotten used to just taking all of her school stuff, all the time, because you'd never know. "Did we have homework?" Not that she cared, particularly. You could get away with not doing it in maths.

 

"No. I sure hope not, anyway. I couldn't deal with more drama or bad shit." She rolled her eyes and began to walk in the right direction.

 

"Same, to be honest." She followed Pearl towards the maths corridor. "You all right? You said you'd call yesterday, but you never did."

 

"Sorry. Some stuff went down. Sister came but it didn't all go in my favour. Ended up getting into... trouble and somehow spoke to Miss Quartz!"

 

Amy tilted her head. "You... talked to Miss Quartz? After school? How the hell did that happen? You need to tell me everything."

 

"It's a long story." Pearl sighed and rubbed her eyes. Her blouse sleeve tipping , but only slightly. "Rather embarrassing, too."

 

"Man. I'm curious, gurl. C'mon, gimme the deal." She nudged Pearl lightly with her elbow.

 

Pearl gave a sigh. "Got caught by mom for smoking. She gave a shit. I don't know... it just really shook me."

 

Amy shrugged. "So what? My parents yell at me all the time. You can't always just do stuff to appease your parents, they don't own you." Of course, not everyone had to do what Amethyst did, and deliberately do things in order to piss off their parents.

 

"I don't know. It was so irrational but I felt terrible."

 

Amy could understand that. She'd stopped giving a crap about her parents' opinions long ago; not everyone was as lucky. "You need a hug?" she offered.

 

Pearl frowned, but gave in. "Please. I'm just so... done with everything right now. I don't really want to even be... you know. Alive." She wanted Amethyst to hug her back to life. Tightly enough to knock out the negativity.

 

"Aw. I know that feel." And with that, Amethyst pulled Pearl close and wrapped her arms around her tightly. Pearl was so thin. She also felt nice. Smelled nice too. Amy smiled into the hug.

 

Pearl may as well have melted. The hug was so warm. Soft. Genuine. Amethyst smelt of some form of spice and leaves. She felt herself hugging her new friend close. "Thank you... so muc-" She was cut down by a steely, glowing tone. Principal Diamond's golden eyes glowered beneath her scrutinising gaze.

 

"And what do you think you're doing?"

 

 

Amy shot away from Pearl at the Principal's words, only to recover quickly and flit back to Pearl's side. She straightened up as much as she could, well aware that despite her best efforts, she'd never even be able to reach the Principal's shoulder. Hell, elbow. How on earth was that woman so tall?

"Going to class, of course," she answered loudly. Defiantly. "And also hugging. We're friends. Are friends not allowed to hug anymore?"

 

"Public displays of affection are against school policy. Hands to yourselves... girls." She hissed, staring Amethyst down. Her 3 foot advantage making her quite the stare down.

 

"It was just a hug, jeez." Amethyst glared right back, refusing to be intimidated. (She was intimidated. Very. But she was also very good at not showing that she was.) "She had a bad day today, least I can do is hug her, alright? C'mon, P, we're gonna be late." She grabbed Pearl's arm, still glaring at the Principal, and tried to shuffle past her towards the classroom.

 

"She terrifies me, to be honest." Pearl swallowed, dragging herself to maths. "What was that about?"

 

Amy shrugged. "No idea," she said. "We weren't even being gay or something." They were only just in time for their lesson to start. "I'll give you more hugs later," Amy promised Pearl, grinning at her as she sat down next to her, "when there's no evil Principals watching."

 

Pearl chuckled at that. How kind Amethyst could be. It was unusual for her to recieve such attention without needing to offer something first. "Do you think she's... homophobic?"

 

Amy laughed out loud, which resulted in a very stern look from their teacher. "Do I?" she said, still chuckling. "Jeez, Pearl, didn't you tell me yesterday you were friends with the gay couple she harassed last year? She's as bad as it gets, man."

 

"Oh. That's not good. I guess Aurora might take the same attitude from her. And I was going to tell her..." She suddenly looked very down. Disappointed.

 

Amy reached over to squeeze Pearl's arm. "You know you don't need to tell her anything, right," she said. "Just cus she's family doesn't mean she's entitled to information about you, y'know? My parents know jack shit about me."

 

"I guess..." Pearl attempted a smile. It wasn't a very good attempt. Positively mediocre. Her lip trembled. "But... I don't know. I just feel like I really can't talk to anyone. I mean while I was receiving theraphy...." She paused, realising she was revealing a lot with this. "It was okay, but I don't get to see them for a few more weeks and I don't know what is going to happen in the meantime."

 

"You can talk to meee." Amy grinned at Pearl. "And your teacher crush, too, probably. Wouldn't be surprised if she fancies the ladies herself, eh?" To be honest, Miss Quartz was way too cool not to be queer.

 

"It's..." Pearl paused. The realisation of her last night's mistake sinking in on her. Of course Rose would have listened and accepted. Of course. She wasn't going to yell back at her. She had no right to do what her parents or Blue or Aurora would do. She couldn't really even leave her in a desperate state unless she, Pearl herself, made it the case. But the realisation came with a two sided edge. Pearl swallowed as she realised Rose's loyalty balanced on the same shield that also ensured that she'd never, ever truly have a chance- her professionalism.

Yes. The professionalism which made sure she could use Rose and depend on her... It was also a barrier from Rose. It was like a strange, protective bubble. But it also shielded her teacher from, well, her. She gripped her knuckles, and only stopped when she saw they'd turned white from the internalisation of the shockwave of sadness. She frowned at the thought. How stupid she'd ever been to even begin to hope. To flirt. Embarassing. She even found herself feeling a little mad.

"Thanks. I'll... try opening up to you both, Ameth-" She caught herself. Giving her peer an awkward glance.

 

Amy was actually paying attention to the lesson for once, so she missed the way Pearl had an entire internal conversation without her.

She did turn back to Pearl, though, when Pearl spoke again. Noted how Pearl almost used her full name, but didn't say anything about that.

"Sure," she said instead, smiling at Pearl.

 

The taller of the two looked over Amy before allowing herself to relax a little. Pearl felt a little of her edge melt away, and on her next consecutive inhale, she found herself with a comfortable breath. It appeared that her newfound friend had a talent of making the anxiety go away. As she buckled down and actually answered a few of the excercises on the board, she even felt relieved.

Perhaps, if she was lucky, the day would go smoothly.

 

-

 

Rose didn't get the opportunity to find Aurora before lessons started, but she had a free after the first two periods, so after having a coffee in the staff room and telling herself that she'd truly put this off long enough, she made her way to the Principal's office.

She knocked on the door. Hopefully, Aurora was around - if she wasn't, Rose would have to find an excuse for possibly disturbing the Principal. Or she wouldn't get a response at all, in which case... she would just have to ask Pearl herself when she saw her in the last period.

 

Well. She got a reply.

After a brief silence there was a moment of muffled debate behind the door and Principal Diamond's voice called out. "Come in."

 

So Aurora was in there. But so was the Principal.

This wasn't necessarily something Rose wanted Diamond to hear. She put on a smile and pushed the door open. "Hello!" she said, addressing the Principal. "Sorry for disturbing. I just wondered if I could talk to your secretary about something?" Her thoughts spun, and she managed to think of something Aurora had mentioned to her weeks ago. "It's just that, uh, my pay last month didn't come through correctly, I think."

 

 

Diamond narrowed her eyes.

She sat in a wide, tall black office chair, the black contrasting against her golden attire. Aurora stood adjacent, posture completely straight as if she were a solider standing attention. She shot Rose a raised brow, and then looked over her boss with absolute discomfort.

"I should hope it's just a misunderstanding." Diamond didn't look at Rose anymore. Instead over her inferior. "You may use the computer to check the sheets."

"Um. Yes! Come on, Rose. We'll do it here. Ever so sorry." Aurora's tone was far more formal, polite. Gone was that scrutinising, judging sneer. Diamond had walked away from her seat but remained in the room. Staring outside the large windows that showed the courtyard where students gathered for breaks. Her stance, however, was attentive. She was listening.

Without breaking a sweat, Aurora opened a word document and gazed up at Rose before typing in _'Is everything alright?'_ and then pleasantly chirping. "Feel free to input your log in details here."

 

Rose was watching the exchange between Diamond and Aurora, then went over to the computer with Aurora.

Aurora must have sensed something was up other than Rose's pay - which had, of course, gone through perfectly. Rose shot a look at the Principal when she read Aurora's message on the screen. She couldn't talk openly.

"Okay, just give me a second." She sat down and started typing.

_'This isn't about my pay. Something's up with Pearl. She called me yesterday, she was very upset. It coincided with the arrival of your other sister. I'm concerned, but couldn't get anything substantial out of Pearl about what actually happened.'_

She swallowed as she was typing, suddenly feeling a little silly. Aurora wasn't her sister's keeper. It might have nothing to do with Blue. ... But she recalled some of the things Pearl had said, and strengthened her resolve. There was definitely something going on; her concern wasn't misplaced.

 

Aurora looked at Rose, eyes confused and face twisted in almost immediate concern. She forced another jubilant titter. "And now, I'll check over the database..." She turned over and fingers churned over the keyboard.

 _'She has your number?'_ A stern, displeased lip curl. _'Is she safe? Do you know if she's absent or not?'_

 

Rose frowned. Of all the things Aurora could be worrying about, it was Pearl having Rose's number? She let out a small sigh, and said, "No - look, that's wrong, here -," and typed, _'I haven't seen her today, but I don't have her class until last period.'_

She looked at Aurora questioningly. "That... should be right," she said. She didn't know what more she could possibly say, or get out of Aurora, with Principal Diamond listening in.

 

"My, you're not kidding." She chuckled. "I knew you're underpaid as a teacher but this sure is a conundrum. Let's go and check it on my laptop, as I've got... bank details there."

She quickly gripped Rose's arm and pulled her out of the room. Too fearful to look at her boss as she tried to escape. "I'll be just a minute, Principal Diamond!"

"See it gets done," came the chilled reply as the two made it out of the room.

 

Rose visibly relaxed as the door closed behind her. "Does she always monitor you like that?" she asked, keeping her voice down just in case the Principal could still hear her through the door. "I've not had to sneak around like that since I was a teenager."

 

"Yes," Aurora replied. Turning around to check if they were being followed. "You have no idea what you walked into, God. At least I'll miss the earful from her with your excuse." A gleeful smirk, so similar to that of Pearl. "I can access student absence records from my laptop. Principal Diamond trusts me to keep it for official use only but this is an emergency."

 

Rose frowned. The situation between Aurora and the Principal didn't sound too good - but also not like something she could do anything about. "So you can see whether Pearl is in or not?" It would be a relief if she was, though it wouldn't stop Rose from worrying. "I'm sorry for bothering you with this, anyway," she said, "but I'm really concerned. She's been doing so well for weeks, and now your sister gets home and she... the things she said, Aurora. Like she believed she was completely worthless. She wouldn't even tell me what triggered this - as if she was scared I'd judge her. You know I wouldn't."

 

"I drove her to theraphy before the folks came home. She was doing just fine. I know she was." Aurora dug into her pockets for a room key. "But Blue... I suppose... hm... well. No matter how well she was doing, she was still heavily unstable before help. She's had problems since childhood. Can't keep anyone for more than a few months and it just took its toll. I'll be honest, I wasn't the best sister until after I moved out and realised the utter cow I'd been. Blue is similar to that, but somehow instead of internalising it like Pearl, she tends to... let it out. I'm worried that's what might have gone on. But right now it's imperative we find her, at least."

 

Rose thought on that.

"You know, she's acted like she was positively terrified of you," she said. Back when Pearl had been at her house... "Both of you. She's not spoken about Blue a lot, but if it's as you say, even something small could have set her off. If Blue is prone to... as you say, let things out. I - I'm just worried," she finished, realising she hadn't really made her point. She was hardly sure what her point had been. "Is she here?" she then asked.

 

"Of course she would, she's terrified of everyone. After the incident last year, I honestly am curious as to why she's taken to opening up to you so much." Aurora tapped a few keys and pulled out a registry. "Oh my. It seems she's not too good at getting to lessons with Lazuli. Surprised we've not sent her a warning about that, hm... Yep. She is registered in at a maths session. Nearly done, full scheduled day. Until, as you say, her last lesson with you."

 

Rose thought it wise not to let Aurora know of Pearl's... interest in her. Instead, she smiled with relief when Aurora told her Pearl was, indeed, at school.

"That's good," she said. "I'm sorry for bothering you. I'll talk to her when I see her." A thought crossed her mind; another smile. "She told me yesterday she made a friend. A girl in her year - Amy. It's good to see."

 

Aurora visibly flinched at the news, jaw dropping. "Oh!" She exclaimed. "Goodness, me! Is that really true? But she's not had gal pals since... Huh. Looks like the theraphy was working until this all happened, after all."

 

Rose smiled. "I don't know how it came about, but I'm glad she's making friends. She's been so lonely. Anyway... I should probably go. Thank you for your help, Aurora." She really hoped that it would be all right with the Principal, but she was sure it would be okay. Aurora knew what she was doing.


	9. Act II - Chapter IV: Alien Invasion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".

The rest of the day had passed by rather quickly for Pearl. She'd nearly forgotten about seeing Rose with Amy's newfound company. It was only at the end of lunch when she looked at her schedule that she was reminded of.... feelings, once more.

"Oh, geeze." She frowned, putting her diary back in her bag. "Biology next."

 

Amethyst had throughout the day decided that she liked spending time with Pearl far more than being an extra to one of the other rather nondescript friend groups. "Biology!" she said. "You get to see your crush! Aren't you excited?" She grinned at Pearl, well aware that she was being obnoxious.

 

"Oh, please." She rolled her eyes. It stung a little, especially with her morning revelation of just how impossible she and Rose were. But she refused to let her upset slip. "I just hope she hasn't marked my sheet too badly. Or maybe...." She turned to Amethyst with a cocky grin. "I won't mind it at all. Oh, Rose! Punish me harder!"

 

Amy laughed out loud. "Wow, Pearl, that's kinky!" She grew serious in an instant and leaned close to Pearl. "Do you get to call her Rose? Like... she's your friend? Oh man, I'm jealous!"

 

"Pfft! I wish! It's 'Miss' this, and 'Miss Quartz' that. Always has been." Her look turned coy again. "But I'll be honest, in my fantasies I call her Rose. It's such a pretty name. It's also horribly difficult to not think of her every time I see anything pink ever."

 

"Oh man." Amy laughed, but only a little. "You got hit hard, didn't ya." Maybe she should stop joking about it so much. Well, that would be the tactful thing to do. Amy was anything but tactful. "Just gotta wait til we graduate, eh."

 

 

"Oh please. I'm nineteen years old and am wasting my entire life. If she was even remotely interested, I would have... No. She's really not. Besides, are you blind? She's way too..." She drew shapes with her fingers. "Perfect. She's way too beautiful and gorgeous and ohh my God, her mind. She's literally my type. As if the stars aligned and produced a girlboner specifically for me."

 

Amy looked down, then back up at Pearl. Hesitated, then said, "Honestly, I don't see a problem. I mean, you're pretty perfect too, right?" They'd arrived at the Biology classroom. Amy nudged Pearl. "There she is."

 

Pearl opened her mouth to retort and caught a glimpse of her. She then promptly closed it as a huge flush rose to her cheeks. A common occurence, she noted, in this particular lab. "Indeed, there she is." She looked back down. "If I don't make it through this, delete my browser history, will you? There's a lot of things I want no one to know I have witnessed."

 

"Hah! Sure. Afternoon, Miss Quartz!" Pearl was really pretty when she blushed, Amy noted.

"Good afternoon, Amy," Rose replied. Her gaze focussed on Pearl for a long moment. "Hello, Pearl."

 

Pearl looked like a deer in headlights. "Hey." She then turned on her heel and awkwardly shuffled into her seating area. Attempting to not think about Miss Quartz staring at her. She failed, tremendously. No one else was here, either. Why did they come in early? She wanted to scream.

 

Amy followed Pearl, lingering at her desk. "I'ma have to go over there," she said, gesturing to the bench where she usually sat, "Me and a few others are kinda used to working together, and they'll miss me. And you got your own work to do, don't you?" She'd seen the way Pearl never really participated in Biology classes, but had extra work given to her by Miss Quartz.

Just that moment, Rose called out Pearl's name. "I marked the questions you gave me last time," she told Pearl. Amy shuffled over to her own bench, awaiting her friends while watching Pearl and Miss Quartz.

 

Pearl shot Amethyst a pleading look, but then forced herself over to the desk. "Thank you. I'll go over what I messed up." She couldn't look Rose in the eye. Last night and the literal conversation over her love of the woman just made it uncomfortable. She outstretched her hand. Realised that her bare skin had snaked out of the blazer. Quickly, she retracted and less than subtly tried to cover it by pointing at the window. "Oh my God, an alien invasion!"

 

 

Rose looked at Pearl sternly, despite the student not wanting to meet her gaze. She'd seen Pearl's wrist when she reached out.

She entirely ignored Pearl's attempt at distracting her (as well as Amethyst, who was running to the window in an exaggerated manner, looking for the alien invasion that she knew full well didn't exist).

"Do you have time after the lesson? I want to talk to you," she said, instead, to Pearl. She handed her the notebook, casually brushing her fingers over the back of Pearl's hand in the process.

 

Pearl froze. The tender touch was so light and small and for some reason, the literal biggest thing to ever occur in her head. She couldn't begin to process this rush, these feelings. "O-Oh. Um. I promised... Um." She couldn't even formulate a lie. If she kept trying to avoid Rose, she'd just come and get her again. Besides, she no longer wanted to hide. She wanted to accept the help and for her mind to get over the fact that it was unrealistic and stupid and unreasonable and oh God Rose's gaze. She made eye contact, only briefly. Those dark, deep eyes. She found herself chewing her lip and wishing to whatever omniscient being was out there that she was chewing on Rose's instead. "Yes, Miss. I'll be free then."

 

"Good." Rose gave Pearl a smile, resisted the temptation to let her touch linger. It wasn't appropriate. Especially when they were right inside the school. Where people might see. Rose was already probably a lot more tactile with Pearl than she was supposed to be when they met in the cafe; she wasn't going to let that bleed over into her school life.

The other students started to trickle into the classroom, Amy joining them after she was done looking for the alien invasion. Rose smiled at herself; Amethyst and Pearl were as different as one could be, but somehow, that also made them a wonderful match.

 

The lesson drifted all too quickly. Pearl kept glancing at the clock, for the first time begging for it to slow down. She didn't want it but she knew it was for the best. She scribbled notes from her extension work and kept frowning over them. The sheet she'd done had at least been alright- she'd completed it while still relatively sound of mind. Her eyes kept trying to not look at Rose. Had she missed the evidence? She hoped her teacher had.

 

Rose managed to avoid thinking about Pearl, looking at Pearl throughout the lesson, simultaneously dreading and looking forward to the end.

When the bell rang and the students filed out of the classroom, Amethyst stayed behind, waiting for Pearl. Rose sighed, then said to her, "Amy, do you mind giving us a moment?"

Amy glanced back and forth between Rose and Pearl, raised her eyebrows, then said, "Sure. I'll wait for you outside, P!"

The door closed behind her, and Rose turned her attention to Pearl.

 

Pearl looked up. Realising the bell had gone. Everyone was gone. She wanted to be gone. She awkwardly stood up and in one breath spoke out. "On second thought I have decided that something very important has occurred and I very, very urgently need to leave."

 

"You don't need to run from me." Rose crossed the room, coming to a stop in front of Pearl. She hesitated, then reached out and touched Pearl's arm. Gently. She wanted to hug Pearl again. "Can you tell me what happened yesterday?"

 

"The very same thing that happened at my conception." Pearl awkwardly tried to flinch away but couldn't. She couldn't move when that touch hit her. It was like a shot of adrenaline and a sleeping pill at the same time. It was drowning but also fireworks. It was hell. But, oh God. Was it also heaven. "A mistake. Please. I can't do this."

 

"Pearl..." Rose clenched her teeth. "You hurt yourself," she said, stating it as a fact rather than a question. "I just want to help." She held out her arms. Inviting Pearl into a hug.

 

So she'd worked it out. Oh boy. "I did no such thing." Pearl was starting to crumble. Tears teasing at the edge of her eyes. "Miss Quartz. You must be telling lies."

 

"I saw, earlier." Rose could tell Pearl was breaking, but she didn't want to push. Arms still held out, offering the comfort of an embrace, there for Pearl to take if she wanted. "You don't need to hide from me."

 

And that was the straw which broke the camel's back. She would have leaped forward if it weren't for her bad knee. She found herself planted in those arms. Rose smelt like what she wanted home to smell like. Warm and kind and cozy. She wrapped her arms around Rose. Breaking down. Snuffling and making small noises as she struggled to breathe.

 

Rose curled her arms around Pearl, hugging her close as she cried.

"It's okay," she murmured. Her fingers ran through Pearl's hair. "I'm here." She still didn't know what went wrong yesterday, she still didn't know if Blue was someone she needed to be worried about. But in this moment, it didn't matter what had happened. It just mattered that she was holding Pearl, allowing her to cry as she needed to. "I'm here."

 

Pearl roughly wept into her. As if a plug had been pulled out of a sink. She gritted teeth and made ugly noises. "I'm sorry."

 

"Don't be. It's okay. It's always okay." She rubbed Pearl's back lightly. Held her tightly. Wanted to communicate without words that she was there, would always be there for Pearl.

 

"I'm just... so sorry you're stuck with this. With me. I'm... I'm happy you're here, though. But I keep thinking I push things... too far."

 

Too... far? Did Pearl mean her mental health issues or her attraction to Rose? Something told her it was the latter.

Rose swallowed. Logic and reason told her that she should not under any circumstances encourage Pearl more than she already had.

And yet there was another part of her that craved to hold Pearl and never let go, to kiss her and pull her close, to-

She shook her head lightly, pink curls trembling. She shouldn't even be thinking along those lines.

"Don't worry, Pearl," she said. "I've got you."

 

Pearl felt her own nails digging into her own flesh again and looked up through tearstained lashes, her vision stinging and blurry. She felt herself crack again, new, wet streams at the bottom of her face. Slick. She shook. "I don't want to go back there. I don't want to think about anything, I just want to sleep forever."

 

Go back where? Home? Rose wanted to ask so many questions - was Aurora there? How long was Blue staying? What were they doing to Pearl? And when was her next therapy sesson? She swallowed, then took both of Pearl's hands into hers when she noticed Pearl was scratching herself again.

"Will you be safe if you go home?" she asked.

 

"I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen there and it's scary," Pearl replied, twisting a little against the grip but not enough to appear she was fighting against it. "I just... I don't know. A part of me just doesn't want to exist, even with all the good things going on right now."

 

Rose kept her hold on Pearl's hands, gently rubbing her thumbs over Pearl's fingers. She wanted to tell Pearl to come over to her place if things got worse. She would be happy to have Pearl over again. She wanted Pearl to be close, so she could look after her.

But if Pearl came over again, Aurora would know. And if there was anything she knew, it was that a student regularly visiting a teacher at home was already getting very close to the inappropriate.

She sighed. "Is there any way I can help? You know you can call me whenever you need to, okay?"

 

"I don't want to involve you more than I have to. You're at a bigger risk than me with all this. It's why I know you can keep yourself safe, but all I'm going to do is push you and push you to be more in danger and I hate myself because of it."

 

Rose wanted to pull Pearl close again, but she also knew that this was the exact risk that Pearl was talking about.

"Don't worry about me, Pearl," she said gently. "God knows the last thing you need to do is worry about _me_. I've got everything under control. And I'm here to help."

 

"But I want to worry about you. I care about you." Pearl stiffened, looking away. Ashamed.

 

"I know. But honestly, there's nothing to worry about." Rose smiled at Pearl, then let go of her hands. "You should probably go," she said, "your friend is waiting. But you can call me anytime, okay?"

 

"Alright." Pearl gave a shaky nod and gathered herself. Praying to God that she'd muster the strength to walk out of the room. "I'll. I'll see you around, Miss."

 

Rose gave her another smile. "See you tomorrow," she said. It was a small relief to know that outside the room, Amethyst would be waiting for Pearl.

 

Pearl slowly walked out. It was as if hope itself had drained directly out of her system and had been utterly replaced with a massive feeling of dread. She couldn't quite place it, but as she turned to look back at her teacher, a mounting sensation of worry hit her.

No. No. It was nothing. Rose had been right. She ought to be more concerned with herself. She glanced at Amethyst and gave a forced smile. At least she had support.

 

\--

 

The students had left for home. Deserted. Principal Diamond neatly tidied her bag after slipping on a new coat of lipstick. She then frowned at the other side of the small, compact room she'd spent most of the day out of since her assistant had left. It had been most curious, but, even the best sometimes failed to produce excellence. She'd have to give Aurora a fierce reprimand, but she knew even the quietest criticism wouldn't fall on deaf ears.

However, the laptop at the side of the room was still on. She gave a guttural sigh and a curl of the lip. That was energy wasted. School money spent. She resisted the urge to shut the computer immediately. No, there might be essential files and the last thing she wanted was another issue with anything as important as payroll.

Principal Diamond slowly crossed to the laptop. A word document. Her head tried to place when it had been opened.

Golden eyes flicked over the text on the document.

 

 

They widened.

It appeared that her most faithful assistant had lied to her.


	10. Act II - Chapter V: Wrestling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... after last chapter's cliffhanger we're gonna leave you hanging for a bit. Have a chapter full of Pearl and Amethyst!
> 
> Content warnings for this chapter: Alcohol, mentions of drugs, a little not-very-dangerous violence (in the context of play-fighting).
> 
> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".

When Rose looked for Aurora the next day, she couldn't find her. Principal Diamond also appeared to be away from school premises.

There was a large number of reasons for this to be the case, so she wasn't worried; she'd be able to talk to Aurora at some other point.

 

\--

 

Pearl walked out of the house, beaming as she spotted Amethyst down her drove. She produced a slip of paper with an address on it. "Oh, you'll love this. Super exclusive fight club. We just need to ask for Smiley when we get to the broadwalk."

 

Amy grinned at Pearl and bounced over to hug her friend. "This is great! Oh, man, P, we're going to have an awesome time."

 

Pearl tilted her head into a crooked smile.  "It'll be something new for me, that's for sure." She chuckled, looking over the address. "We taking a bus to the broadwalk?"

 

"Sure, if you want." Amy glanced at the address. "Oh, yeah, it's a bit away. You know how to get there? Cus I don't really. Not from here, at least."

 

"Yes. It's not too much to get there at this hour too. Got your snacks?" They began to walk down to the bus stop. The sun dropping behind them.

 

"Sure do!" Amy opened her bag to show off several bags of popcorn and soft drinks. "Do you think they're selling alcohol there?" They most likely sold different stuff there as well. Amy grinned to herself.

 

"Oh, please." Pearl rolled her eyes. "We can get booze anywhere. If you wanna get junked up though, this ought to be the place." She rummaged her wallet and handed Amethyst several notes. "Bus money on me. If anything happens and we split up, get a cab home."

 

Amy's eyes widened. "Whaaaaaaa-? You can't give me this! That's your money!" She waved the money in Pearl's face. "I can take care of myself, thank you very much."

 

Pearl didn't take it. "Spend it on booze if you want. Just. Take it. As a gift, if you have to. It might be dangerous and I know you'll be fine. But if you're not... I don't know what am I'd do."

 

Amy pulled a face. "You don't have to mother me, Pearl." She didn't take the money. "I can take care of myself. Seriously. Look, I even have enough money for the cab myself." She waved her wallet in Pearl's face.

 

"Okay. Well. I'm not allowed to buy alcohol myself after I puked up on Miss Quartz's carpet. So you can be my loophole. How about that?"

 

"You WHAT?" Amy stared up at Pearl. Then reluctantly took the money. "Fine, but you gotta tell me everything. You've actually been round her place?"

 

"I ran away from home at the start of term." Pearl giggled awkwardly as the bus drifted around the corner. "She... found me. In the woods. And I repaid her for everything by drinking nearly all the stuff in her cupboard and vomiting over my sister's shoes, and by proxy, the floor."

 

"That's confusing as heck." Amy stepped on the bus, paid the fare and dragged Pearl to seats at the back. "Can you, like, start at the beginning?"

 

"Well. I'm in a better position with Aurora now, but... I've always struggled with my sisters. They're both the me I'll never be, right? And... some stuff went on when I was younger. And when my parents told me one was coming over, I flipped out. And I couldn't handle it. I wasn't eating and taking... meds. So I got really unstable and I left. Into the woods by the five points, right?"

 

"Whoa." It sounded like one hell of a story. Amy looked at Pearl, thoughtful. "So then you just ran away? And by some weird coincidence, your teacher crush just... found you in the woods? You sure it was just a coincidence?"

 

"She lived nearby and ohh God I was totally delirious. Then there was a helicopter and everything seemed to just die."

 

"A helicopter? Damn, gurl, your life is way more exciting than mine! And then what happened? She took you into her house?" Her eyebrows were raised so high that they vanished into Amy's messy fringe.

 

"Slept on one of her beds. She left me alone and I found the booze and the.... next thing I remember is passing out. It was awful."

 

"And then you threw up on her carpet!" Amy laughed loudly. "Boy, P. Poor Miss Quartz!" She then frowned and scratched her chin. "Oh man, she must really like you. Like... _like_ like you. I'm not sure I'd be this nice to you if you'd thrown up all over my stuff!"

 

"Not the highest point of my life. Let's get real." Pearl frowned. "But yeah. So you need to buy and I'll try not to get too pissed."

 

"I can make sure you don't drink too much, if you want." It wasn't really a role that suited Amy, but she'd been out enough times to know her own limits, so she would be perfectly capable of looking after Pearl if she needed to. "Also, that's super not what I meant. I meant, like, Miss Quartz. You sure she doesn't like you back? Like... the way you like her."

 

"No. I would rather forget everything tonight. I'm not really up for jumping on the ring myself but... I want to sit on the coast, get pissed and look at the stars with you."

 

"Hehe. We can do that. Forget I brought it up." It was getting dark outside; Amy looked out the window. "Are we nearly there yet?"

 

"Yeah. Just two more stops. What did you bring with you, anyway?"

 

Amy shrugged. "Just some food and money. Didn't really know what to expect, ya know. So I'm just gonna get a good look of the place tonight. And if we come back here, I might join the wrestling." She grinned at Pearl.

 

"Oh, you really should be careful." Pearl frowned, swallowing. "You don't know what some of these... ruffians might be like."

 

For some reason, that just made Amy's grin go wider. "You don't think I can handle that?" She attempted to crack her knuckles, which didn't quite work out as well as she wanted it to, but she just shrugged it off, still grinning at Pearl.

 

"I just don't want you to get hurt." Pearl gave a small smile and a thumbs up. "But if you have a need for help, I'll be right there to kick ruffian ass."

 

Amy looked Pearl up and down. "Thanks, P. But I'll be fine." Honestly, if Pearl jumped in to kick anyone's ass, Amy would be more worried about her than anything else.

 

"Well. Kicking ass isn't my forte with this leg." Pearl then frowned. Looking out of the mirror. Her eyes glazed as a flurry of memories hit her.

 

Amy shrugged. "Eh, that's cool, I'll kick enough ass for both of us." Pearl had turned quiet, looking out the window, so Amy nudged her lightly. "You alright, P?"

 

"Yeah." Pearl forced a laugh. "Just thinking about stuff before my accident. It was a bad time."

 

"Aw man. You wanna, like, talk about it?" Amy looked up at Pearl, an expression of genuine concern on her face.

 

"It's not pleasant to hear. I kind of lost all my friends all while my leg got hurt."

 

"Yeesh. Sounds fun." She shuffled a bit closer to Pearl. "What happened?"

 

 

"I was in a friendship group with a bunch of other dancers. We got along pretty well. Had sleepovers and stuff." Pearl sighed, running a hand through her hair. "We were planning a final for the dance show at the end of the year. Got word that a talent scout may be showing up, so I started drawing up a routine for a modern ballet show. I was the best dancer there, and they wouldn't forgive me for wanting my own performance."

 

"Oh man. That sounds bad. Dancers can be mean." Amy shrugged. "But you got me now, eh?"

 

"You don't know the half of it." She was about to affirm how much Amethyst meant to her before frantically pressing the 'stop' button. "We're here!"

 

"Yay, finally!" Amy jumped up, laughing again. "Oh man, I can't wait to see some wrestling!"

 

Pearl smiled at this and helped herself off the bus. "We'll have fun. This already looks... different. " She gazed beyond the dusty bus stop.

 

Amy hopped off the bus after Pearl. "This is cool!" she exclaimed. "C'mon, P, I wanna explore a bit."

 

"Careful out there, Amethyst." She hissed and grabbed the other's arm. She then backed off. "Too much?"

 

"What are you even so worried about?" Amy pulled away from Pearl, not liking the protective tone very much. "Nothing's gonna happen, come on."

 

"Just being cautious," Pearl replied, cooling off. She stepped forward and pulled out her phone before inputting the address into her GPS. "Just a few streets down."

 

"Alright. Let's go." Amy was buzzing, wanting to skip ahead but not wanting to leave her friend alone, so she just stayed with Pearl, bouncing excitedly.

 

They crossed past a few dark streets before reaching a narrow alley. Pearl wrapped an arm around Amethyst's, briefly looking over her before wading in. The bassy sound of speakers emanated in the darkness, behind a thick factory door. Dubstep. She carefully knocked on the door.

A well fed boy stood at the entrance in khaki shorts and a sweatshirt. He prodded at his glasses like a discount anime villain. "Your business?"

 

 

"Um. Smiley. We want Smiley."

His face brightened up. "Oh! Hell yeah! The wrestling is right at the back of the warehouse."

 

Amy stayed close to Pearl. The guy in the entrance was much taller than her, and his hair looked funny. But he knew where they needed to go, so Amy dragged Pearl away from him as soon as she could.

"That dude was kinda weird," she said under her breath as soon as they were out of earshot.

 

"He didn't seem to be the type to frequent these kinds of establishments," Pearl replied, equally as hushed.

The place, it seemed, had at one point been a factory or an actual warehouse. However, with all machinery cleared, it provided ample space. Down at the back was a large ring, surrounded by sand. Strobe lights bounced across the area as the dubstep grew louder.

 

Amy's eyes grew wide when she saw the ring. "Ohhh my gooood. Look at that! It's so cool! Look, Pearl, don't you think it's cool?" Pearl's arm was still linked with hers, so Amy dragged her towards the ring. "Look! They're fighting already!"

 

Amethyst was correct. Two men in their shorts were already trying to grab each other to the ground. However, not much of the crowd had shown. "They don't start for another fifteen minutes." Pearl shrugged and then smiled over her friend's excitement. "But yeah. It's... aesthetic."

 

"Aesthetic?" Amy let out a howling laughter. "You have weird priorities, man! Do you think I can join them til they start?" she then asked, nodding towards the wrestlers who were already in the ring. She wasn't actually going to, but it would be fun to test how far she could go.

 

"Um. I wouldn't advise it. There's no referee, and I'm... scared of what they're doing right now."

 

"Aw, man, P, don't be scared! I just wanna have a bit of fun." She freed her arm from Pearl's grip and stepped towards the ring.

 

Pearl watched Amethyst go, feeling a pang of anxiety in her belly. She then smiled as she realised her friend was going to be just fine. Everything was going to be alright.

 

Amy was half surprised, half disappointed (which she would never, ever admit) when Pearl didn't stop her, but decided to make use of her newfound freedom and bounced towards the wrestlers. Once she was at the ring, she cracked her knuckles (which worked a lot more to her satisfaction this time) and said, "Hey, boys, wanna let me join in?"

 

The two (now nearly naked) guys stopped going at it and turned to her, surprised. "Oh. Um, sure, I guess. You got any protective gear?" asked one, blond and tall.

 

"Nah. Don't need any." She was way too confident for her own good, Amy realised, but she didn't care. The two guys were both at least a foot taller than her and muscly, they could probably pick her up and throw her around with ease. But she didn't step off.

 

The other looked her up and down. "I like her," he replied, lowly. "Feel free to practise on my bro. I need to get a drink, anyway."

 

Amy grinned ear to ear and hopped up into the ring. The tall guy positively towered over her, but she held eye contact, not in the least intimidated. "So, show me what you got," she challenged him.

 

He looked over and then cocked a brow. "But I'm not gonna hurt no lady. That's just fucked, man."

 

Amy laughed. "I ain't a lady!" And with that, she jumped forward and punched him in the gut, hard. "Equality!"

 

He bent over, doubling over his knees before grabbing her ankles from him angle. "You asked for it!"

 

She found herself on her back and got up instantly, not wanting to show any weakness. "That I did," she said, before going up against him again.

 

They clashed shoulders as he sped up to body slam, trying to get Amy on the ground once more. "You're holding up pretty good. Where do ya train at?"

 

Amy shrugged. Truth be told, she'd been involved in quite a lot of street fights, but she wasn't prepared to admit that to anyone - at least not while Pearl was in earshot. "Just some tricks I picked up on the go," she said, hopped out of his reach and then went for his legs.

 

He yelled as he was forced to the ground by this. "Oh shit. I shouldn't have underestimated you."

Meanwhile, Pearl had managed to aquire two glasses of punch. She looked around for Amethyst and nearly screeched as she saw the other going at it in the ring. "Amethyst, please! You're going to get hurt there."

 

 

Amy tackled him and held him down for a few seconds, then got up. Pearl's voice reached her ears, and she looked around, mildly irritated.

"Looks like I gotta go. My friend likes to be a spoilsport, apparently. I'll be back, though," she told the wrestler she'd just defeated before slipping out of the ring and making her way towards Pearl.

"Oh man, you got us drinks! Thanks."

 

Pearl looked at Amethyst in concern, and then gave her one of the glasses. "That's for you. It's got more in it. I didn't know if you wanted the Pina Colada or the Sex on a beach so I mixed them both and it's... not too bad."

 

"Hehe! Let's try it." Amy took a sip from the glass and her face lit up. "Oh man, that's good! How much do I owe you?"

 

"It's just punch. Don't worry. I'll try and simmer down when the buzz hits, alright?" Pearl drank all of hers in one gulp. The glasses were practically a full pint.

 

Amy watched Pearl and, not wanting to be outdone by her friend, downed her drink very quickly as well. "Look, Pearl!" she then said, grabbing Pearl's arm and dragging her towards the ring. "They're starting!"

 

Pearl already felt herself start to flush and allowed her body to be dragged around. "Oh dear. Look at all these muscles." Sometimes, she cursed herself for being so gay. Many of the competitors looked very, very attractive.

 

"I know right? I wanna be like that one day." Amy gave a wistful sigh. "I wanna be super strong."

 

"You can be strong. Not like them, though." Pearl spied a few examples of walking steroid abuse. "Strong in the real way. Although... I wouldn't want to take on some of these people. They do look pretty... intimating."

 

"I can take them." Amy grinned up at Pearl. "Wanna get more drinks?"

 

"Duh." She smirked back and led Amethyst to a small makeshift bar. "Pretty cheap here, too."

 

"That's great! I'll get the next round, then. What do you want?" She dug her wallet out of her bag and leaned against the bar.

 

"I wouldn't mind hitting some shots." Pearl swallowed, looking over a bottle of 'sourz'. "Anything sweet is always good too, though."

 

"Shots sound good!" She turned to the bar and ordered two shots of sourz, then passed one to Pearl.

 

She smiled over Amethyst as she held it up. "To wrestling!"

 

"To wrestling!" She grinned at Pearl and clinked her glass to hers. "You know, you should really trust me more, P. I can handle myself up there."

 

"Alright. Sure. But, what if... and this is a major if... You get hurt. And then an army of hired Ninja assassins come to destroy me for my past sins and I need to you protect me? I would die, Amethyst! I need you safe!" Pearl then winked and brought the shot to her lips before downing it. "Cheers."

 

Amy laughed. "You sure have a vivid imagination. But I'll be fine, P." She downed her drink. "And also, how many times do I need to tell you to call me Amy?"

 

Pearl frowned, guilt seeping over her features. "I'm sorry, I completely keep slipping up. I'll stop, alright?"

 

Amy laughed. "No need to pull a face like that. It's not a big deal. Though you never did tell me how you know my full name. Did Miss Quartz tell you?"

 

"Yeah. It just slipped out and I haven't forgotten. I don't really forget anything she says."

 

"Man, you're so gay." Amy grinned up at her friend. "Want another drink?"

 

"Oh, but of course." She nodded eagerly. "Let's do this."

 

Amy grabbed her purse and headed to the bar, where she got two more cocktails for herself and Pearl. "Wanna go watch the wrestling some more?" she asked when she got back.

 

"Sure." Pearl shrugged, feeling a little less apprehensive with a less than sober mind. "I'll try not to cringe."

 

Amy grinned, then grabbed Pearl's arm. "Come on then." She found them a spot with a good view of the ring, then immediately began cheering for one of the guys in it - the one she'd fought earlier. "You can do it, man!" she yelled, "smash him!"

 

Pearl couldn't help but observe. It was obscene and scary - volatile. But she couldn't help noticing the rush of adrenaline surging through her.

 

"Oh man, this is so cool. This is really cool, right Pearl?" Amy was practically bouncing up and down, then let out a sympathetic shout when the other wrestler punched her friend in the face. "They're really going at it now!"

 

"Are you sure no one is going to die? Because I'm very worried that not everyone is going to make it out of this place." Pearl couldn't help but to give a teasing wink at the end of her somewhat scared questioning.

 

"Ah hell naw, they all know what they're doing. Just look at them go! This is brilliant!" Amy had already finished her cocktail, and looked around and beamed at Pearl, who seemed to enjoy herself rather a bit less. "You wanna get some more drinks, P?"

 

Pearl swallowed. They'd had quite a lot. But... she had planned on drinking a fair amount. "Sure. Let's get some water as well, okay?"

 

Amy rolled her eyes at Pearl's cautiousness, but figured that she was only looking out for her. "Sure, if you think so," she said. "Get me a french martini, yeah?" She turned back around, continuing to cheer for her friend (whose name she hadn't even thought to ask, but it hardly mattered).

 

Pearl nervously swallowed and gave a small nod before pushing her way back to the bar. She glanced behind her and looked over at Amethyst. She needed to be more fun. "Three French Martinis. And a water." A nod to the bartender. The other two were downed as soon as they were made.

 

Amy impatiently waited for Pearl to come back. Pearl just had her drink and a water. "Where's your drink?" Amy asked before grabbing her cocktail and grinning at Pearl while taking a tiny sip. "Look at me, I'm so soph- socisty- what's the word? Sophinstigate- no, that's not it."

 

"I've had... a fair amount," Pearl replied, spacing out. Seeing light as tiny glimmers. "I believe you're looking for the word 'sophisticated'. But... your vernacular works, too, I suppose."

 

Amy giggled. "How can you still say such big words when youre probably even drunker than me right now?" She already wanted another drink. Being drunk with Pearl was nice. She hardly paid attention to the wrestling anymore. "I'ma get another drink. Don't worry, man, it'll be the last one. I promise."

 

"I'll just... stay. Here," Pearl murmured, shuffling to the music a little. "I'm alright... Wow, that wrestling sure does look... interesting."

 

Amy made her way to the bar with a little difficulty as the room was starting to spin around her. She downed the drink she bought instantly and then made her way back to Pearl.

"Can we like... go out for a bit? Get some air?" she asked. She was still holding the nearly-full pint of water Pearl had gotten her earlier, and only now remembered to take a sip from it.

 

"That might be a good idea. I nearly felt like jumping... into the ring." She replied softly, humming to herself. "I think we can get out that way."

 

"Oh man, no don't do that, you'll get hurt." She was starting to slur her words a little, and held on to Pearl's arm as they found their way to the door that led outside.

Outside was cooler, quieter, and it instantly amplified the thoughts in Amethyst's head. She kept walking away from the warehouse and then sat down in the grass a little away from it. Drank some of her water. Her earlier euphoria had vanished at some point in the past few minutes.

"You can see the stars." She almost sounded sad.

 

"Aren't they wonderful?" Pearl giggled, softly moving her hands to stroke the arm touching her. She neatly folded herself onto the ground to join Amethyst, all too close. As if completely unaware of the concept of personal space.

 

"Mhm." Amy looked up at the stars, then noticed Pearl sitting close to her, and leaned her head on Pearl's shoulder. The stars looked so peaceful. And far away.

After a few minutes of silence, Amethyst said, "My mum would kill me if she knew I was here."

 

"Likewise. But... you seem so cool. Why would your parents care?" Pearl felt the brush of soft, fluffy hair and nuzzled into it. "I might have a kink or whatever but... God, this would be orgasmic if it was really long... It feels really good and you smell really nice."

 

Amy snickered. "You're drunk, P." Then grew serious again. "My parents are, like, super shitty. They only care about themselves. They don't give a shit if I'm happy, they just want me to be good. Their perfect little girl. But I can't be that perfect. I'm not, I'm just a nobody, I'll never stand out." She hung her head.

 

She blinked. Bleary. "But you're... wonderful, Amy. You're somebody to me. And I might not mean much but... your parents are assholes for making you feel like that."

 

Amy shrugged, almost aggressively. "It's just always been like that. The only way they ever pay attention to me is if I make them proud or if I make them mad. I'm just way better at the latter." She grimaced. "I hate them."

 

"You shouldn't have to do either. That's not okay. You're you. And I... really like you. Please don't change, okay?" Pearl leant over and lazily wrapped her arms around the other.

 

"Heh." Amy leaned in to Pearl. It felt nice. "Didn't you say we could get drugs somewhere around here? Could do with some weed."

 

"Yeah, sure. I've got some money, I'm sure I can get an eighth off someone in there." Pearl looked back to the warehouse, party still going.

 

"Oh man no, don't go without me." Amy clung to Pearl. "I'm... not sure I can walk though." Everything was still spinning. The thoughts in her head still yelling. She hid her face in Pearl's shoulder.

 

"Are you really sure you want a joint? I mean, you're not meant to get drunk first." She frowned.

 

"I dunno. I don't care." If Amy wrecked herself, who would give a shit? Her parents would just be angry. Nobody really cared about her anyway.

 

Pearl brushed hair out of Amethyst's face. "I do. Here, you can't walk. I'll go. It's not the best idea but at least we could relax with a bit of weed and cheer up."

 

Amy reluctantly let go of Pearl. "Alright." Her water was still there; it would have to do until Pearl came back with the weed.

 

Pearl gave a smile at the response and slowly hobbled back indoors. She looked around. The wrestling was now overshadowed by a rave behind the ring. People of all sorts smoking in corners- she supposed that's what happened in places where it wasn't banned. Nervously, she stepped forward.


	11. Act II - Chapter VI: Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for this chapter: Recreational drug use.  
> Also, lots of Pearlmethyst. Don't worry, we'll resolve the cliffhanger next week. ...or will we? You may never know.
> 
> Also also, check out this REALLY COOL FANART that our reader asshoe/Asda gifted us! It can be found [here](https://66.media.tumblr.com/78ced902229c97910da56f0437c089cb/tumblr_oazlu7AEOb1ujrsl0o4_r1_1280.jpg)!! check it out it's really cool!!
> 
> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".

Amy was slouching in the grass, staring into nothingness, waiting.

She didn't even last a minute. She'd never been good at staying still; it was worse when she was under the influence. And without Pearl there to keep her calm...

She got up. Adjusted herself. The spinning was annoying, but bearable. She looked around. She was on a small patch of grass several yards from the warehouse. Adjacent to the grass, there was a field; maize, as far as she could tell in the dark, with high, dark plants.

She took a few uneasy steps towards it. It looked like it would be a good place to be.

 

Cannabis was perhaps the easiest drug to aquire. Pearl walked out swiftly with an eighth of an ounce in her pockets, carelessly fondling the crystally bud through its plastic in a drunk stupor. She craved to just stand for an eternity and sniff it, but thoughts of Amethyst drove her to return.

Except Amethyst wasn't there.

 

Instead, she now lay on her back, hidden by several huge plants of maize. Lying down was good, she'd discovered, as long as she didn't close her eyes. The cloudless sky above her was spinning like something out of a van Gogh painting, and she didn't remember where she'd left her water.

Not a single thought was given to Pearl, or how her friend was supposed to find Amethyst. Somehow, she just assumed Pearl would know where she was.

 

Pearl looked around the area. The grass still crushed from where they'd trod upon it. "Amethyst? Amy!" She called out. No reply. She must've gone after her. Pearl was too drunk to be mad, but balled her fists and returned to the warehouse.

 

Amethyst very rapidly started thinking of Pearl again when she heard her call her name.

"Oh shit!" She tried to get up quickly, failed and landed on her ass. Fuck, how the hell was she supposed to get up when she didn't even quite know which way 'up' was?

"Pearl," she called, "I'm over here."

 

Pearl felt dizzy. The lights blinding her vision completely, too much. Too striking. She only knew she needed to find Amy. Would Amy be in the crowd? She squinted.

A body smacked against her.

"Ladies and gentlemen! It looks like we have a new competitor!"

 

Pearl didn't come. Amy sat up, slowly. "Pearl!" she called again. Shit, why'd she gone over here in the first place? She lay back again, because it was easier than sitting up. Pearl would come out again. She had to. If only for the reason that Amy couldn't move from her current position.

She called her friend's name again.

 

"I'm not here to fight!" Pearl flushed to the man, Smiley, she presumed from the name tag. "I'm here to find my friend. Amethyst!"

"It don't matter. You step in the ring, you're in till it pings!"

One of the wrestlers turned. "Hey man, if someone's lost in this place we've got to find her."

 

Amethyst waited.

Pearl didn't come, and she didn't really have a good grasp on time at the moment, but she still thought it had been way too long. She sat up again, and then tried to stand up. Her legs were shaky, but she thought maybe she would manage.

When she stepped out of the field, Pearl was nowhere to be seen and Amethyst's legs were very close to giving up again.

"Pearl!" she shouted again, hoping her friend would hear from wherever she was.

 

"She's drunk, too." Pearl broke down, anxious. Smiley's... smile turned into a worried look, and he signaled the backstage. Music stopped.

"D'ya say Amethyst was her name?" Pearl nodded and he turned. "Hey! If you're in the crowd, Amethyst, come on out!"

"She might be looking for me. She really likes wrestling." Pearl turned blearily to the crowd. Even the mass of people had started to turn and mutter.

 

The next thing Amethyst noticed was a surprising amount of quietness from the warehouse.

She forced her legs to keep going. Was Pearl in there? She must be.

It took ages to reach the door, but by the time she got there, walking was easier. She opened the door, came in and looked around.

 

"I can't lose her right now. She's my ooooonly friend!" Pearl sobbed drunkenly into the microphone. The crowd cheered her on. "I keep thinking something bad happened and I don't want to go back to school without her. It really sucks and it would suck a lot more without her."

 

Amy watched, a little overwhelmed by the spectacle, but she didn't get to watch for very long.

"Hey, are you Amethyst?" a nearby girl asked. She looked about twice Amy's size, but had a friendly look on her face. Amy nodded, mutely.

"Your friend's been looking for you!" The girl grabbed Amy's arm and raised her other one. "I found her! Here she is!"

 

"Amethyst!" The spotlights flashed over Amy, Pearl broke down again. "Amy I was so worried! I thought you died and that your parents would kill me so at least we could die together. Hey, everyone is so nice here. We should come again..."

 

The girl dragged Amy over to Pearl, and Amy followed numbly. She'd only caught the last bit of Pearl's speech, but heard everything Pearl said now, and stumbled over to her friend.

"Relax, P," she said, hugging Pearl. "I'ss all good, no one needs to die."

 

The crowd went wild when the two embraced. Pearl pressed her head into Amethyst and nodded into her hair. "Let's go get high." She whispered.

 

"I knew it was a bad idea letting you go off by yourself," Amy mumbled into Pearl's shirt. She then took Pearl's arm and dragged her back to the door. "I found a great place. That's where I was earlier. I need to show you, come on."

 

"Erm, and where the hell were you?"

 

"Chill. I'll show you. Come on." The cool night air hit her face. She was still drunk, but at least walking wasn't as difficult anymore. They reached the field a few minutes later. "Look! It's perfect. Did you get the weed?"

 

"Yeah. This bag's yours. I can't roll joints for shit. Too much stuff goes into them. You got any clue?"

 

"Nah! I thought you knew." She was still holding on to Pearl's arm; they'd reached the spot where Amethyst had been earlier, so she let go and sat down. "Cool, isn't it? No one can see us here." She remembered that that was the reason why Pearl probably hadn't found her and blushed. "Um, sorry 'bout that."

 

"It happens. I was just really worried about if you were okay. I got scared."

 

"Aw man. Don't worry, alright? I'm always okay." Not quite true, but oh well. "So," she then said, holding up the little bag Pearl had given her earlier. "What do we do with this?"

 

"Could bong it. Or roll a really shitty joint." She shrugged and dug into her back for a can of cola. "Drink this and don't destroy the can."

 

"Gotcha." Amy took the can and gulped down the drink. It was a stark contrast to the alcoholic drinks she'd had earlier, and the fizziness was nice. She handed the empty can back to Pearl a little later. "There ya go."

 

"Thanks." She twisted the lid of the coke can to its side, covering most of the hole and then prod another at the side. "Herb at the top. There's enough cola left in there to cool it. Inhale at the side."

 

Amy watched closely, then gingerly took the can from Pearl. "You go first?" she asked, uncharacteristically unsure of herself. "I... don't quite know what to do."

 

"Sure. I'm gonna screw it up, though," Pearl replied, rolling her eyes. "Alright... That should be enough of the weed." She turned the side with the made hole to her mouth. Lit and inhale. She coughed. "Oh, goodness. That really is some dank shit!"

"You've done this before, though, right?" Amy watched Pearl closely. "You ok?" She held out her hand for the can, ready to try it herself.

 

"Yeah. It's pretty nice." Pearl took another hit and passed the can. "Don't forget to hold the flame really close."

 

Amy took the can, carefully held the hole to her mouth and followed Pearl's instructions. Inhaled deeply, feeling very proud of herself for not coughing, and exhaled. She smiled up at Pearl. "Tastes nice."

 

"Yeah, well. My folks have been really nosy lately so I'm gonna smoke this all up tonight or they'll find it. Get ready to get... really. Really. High."

 

Amy's smile widened. "Heh. That's cool with me." She took another hit, exhaling through her nose. "It's amazing you care so much about what your parents think."

 

"Years of socialisation and mild neglect sure do hit you hard." Pearl settled into a space in the tall grass.

 

Amy chuckled to herself. Took another hit and passed the can to Pearl. "I used to care. I don't anymore. Screw them. I hate my parents. Can't wait to move out."

 

"Right on, sister." Pearl nodded, lighting up. "Oh god, I'm feeling it." The world grew woozy and disorientated. And yet, she felt a certain kind of stillness in her mind, a relaxed flush seeping into her system.

 

Only seconds after Pearl said she was feeling it, Amy got hit by a wave of dizziness. "Oh," she said faintly. The corners of her mouth twitched up, and she decided that her parents didn't matter. She leaned into Pearl, giggling quietly to herself for no particular reason.

 

"There you go." Pearl smirked at the tattle tale signs of cannabis use. It was cute, really. She felt her fingers around the fluff of Amethyst's hair.

 

It was so nice. So much more pleasant than being drunk. Amethyst giggled into Pearl's shoulder, not sure why she was laughing but she couldn't stop. She curled her arms around Pearl. Felt secure with her friend. Like she was anchoring her to Earth so Amethyst didn't float away.

 

Pearl took in a sharp inhale. Amethyst smelt of home. Not actually her home but what she'd guessed her actual home should smell like. She closed her eyes and held onto the other girl, accidentally catching a brush of her lips against Amethyst's forehead. Had she not been high, she would have freaked out. Apologised. Instead, she sat still and reveled in the feeling. She felt like floating, too.

 

The giggles subsided after a few minutes. Amy felt Pearl's lips against her forehead and stilled, then looked up at Pearl. She was still smiling.

"Heh. You're cute," she said, cuddling back into Pearl.

 

"Am I?" Pearl questioned, furrowing her brows before completely relaxing. "That's probably good."

 

Amethyst smiled, cuddled up to Pearl for another few minutes, before letting go and letting herself fall back. She looked up at the stars. Like them, she felt disconnected from the Earth, from all of her problems. Everything was light and easy.

"You know," she said, "I don't mind when you call me Amethyst. The only other people who do are my parents, but when you say it you actually sound like you care about me."

 

"It's because it's pretty. And because I do care about you. A lot." Pearl frowned and then sighed. "I know what it's like to have shitty people at home. I don't want you to suffer anymore."

 

Amy shrugged, amazed that she could do so while lying down. "Eh," she said, "I can deal. It's nothing new." She blinked, then tore her eyes away from the night sky and looked at Pearl. "We should just spend all of our time together so we don't have to deal with families."

 

"I'm a legal adult. We could get a place together... if we had the cash." Upon realising that the reality of actually living alone was far out of her financial grasp, Pearl looked away and emptied more weed onto the can. "Fuck it. I'm getting another bowl going."

 

"Oh man, yeah, I'm having some too." Amy sat up again. "We could go to uni together. You got any plans?"

 

"None. I kind of didn't expect to make it this far. But I guess there's still time to apply."

 

"Yeah. I've got no clue what to do after school." She grinned at Pearl. "I'd say I'll be a stripper but I'm not hot enough for that."

 

"I'd cough up to watch you strip." Pearl lit up once more and inhaled. She then caught herself smiling too much to exhale properly.

 

"Nah you wouldn't, you're just saying that to make me feel better." Amy took the can from Pearl and took another hit.

 

"Or... I'm saying it because I find you attractive. But I guess with your pessimistic attitude, you'll never know."

 

Amy eyed Pearl suspiciously.

"It's not pessimistic, it's just the truth. I'm not attractive." It was something she was okay with. Or, at least she was just now. She suspected it was because she was high.

 

"I must be an odd exception to the truth, then. A different plane of reality, here to penetrate your bleak self loathing." Pearl prodded Amethyst's forehead. "Beautiful."

 

Amy chuckled.

"You're being silly," she said. "And also, I don't hate myself. I'm strong and I know how to fight and I don't take any shit from anyone. I don't have to be attractive to be cool."

 

"But you are attractive. I'm not lying." Pearl folded her arms and then stretched out for the can.

 

"Maybe you should get your eyes checked out." Amy passed the can over and looked at Pearl. Did Pearl... did Pearl really think she was attractive?

 

"Sure. But you're paying for it.  Until proven otherwise, you're attractive as all hell."

 

"I woulda thought almost eighteen years of my life experience would be proof enough," Amy said. She was still looking at Pearl. Seemed unable to look away. It was dark and she could hardly see, but Pearl was still beautiful.

 

"You can spend a long time living a lie,” Pearl said. “Like my denial of feelings for women. You can always be proven wrong."

 

Amethyst didn't know how to respond to that. She just realised a few long moments later that she was still staring at Pearl, staring in a really creepy and kind of gross way, and she looked down, blushing furiously. She didn't look at Pearl when holding out her hand, silently asking for the can.

 

Pearl noticed something off. She slid closer, softly touching Amethyst's arm with a moderately cool touch. "Are you okay?" She whispered, quietly. Not realising her breath was near enough to touch Amethyst's ear.

 

Amethyst took a few moments to collect herself. Pearl was... way too observant.

"Y...yeah," she said, looking up. Suddenly finding Pearl's face... far closer to hers than it had been only moments ago. She caught herself staring at her again.

 

"You sure?" Pearl carefully wrapped herself around the other, burrowing her face on what she assumed was a shoulder but she was too high to really care at this point. She finally got the can and finished what was left on it.

 

"Mmm," Amethyst hummed. It was difficult to ignore the fact that Pearl was almost sitting in her lap now. Her face was still so very close to Amy's. Amethyst was well aware that if she'd been sober, or even just only drunk, she probably would have bailed a long, long time ago. And yet here she was. Still staring at Pearl.

"You're pretty," she murmured.

 

"I haven't felt beautiful for months. I'm amazed you'd ever think that," Pearl replied, eyes reddened by the cannabis. Her voice slow and deliberate.

 

"But you're..." Amy struggled to find words. "Like... perfect," she finally said. Her voice was quiet. Sincere. She curled her arms around Pearl. It was nice being this close to her.

 

"No! What are you saying? I'm awful!" Pearl shrunk, hiding behind her arms. "I'm not even remotely perfect."

 

Amethyst was caught in astonished wonder, if only for a few moments, about how someone was wonderful as Pearl could think herself awful.

She raised a finger and put it over Pearl's lips, gently. "Shhh."

Her lips felt soft.

 

Pearl, so high that she couldn't quite focus on any of Amethyst's features, leant into the finger and gently kissed it.

 

Another time, Amethyst would have questioned her, asked her what she was doing. Another time, she might have freaked out.

But she was high, everything was beautiful, and she blushed when Pearl kissed her finger. She didn't flinch away. She ran her finger along Pearl's cheek. Pearl was so pretty.

 

"That feels so pleasant." The world around her felt as if it had tilted.

 

Amethyst hummed in agreement. She was still watching Pearl's face, as if attempting to memorise her every feature. Her gaze lingered on Pearl's lips. They'd felt so soft before.

She hesitated.

 

"I bet you've kissed a lot of girls." Pearl whispered, noticing Amethyst's gaze.

 

Amethyst shook her head slowly, as if she was in a daze. Didn't feel like she could elaborate. She'd never properly kissed anyone. Spin the bottle games didn't count. Drunken kisses hardly counted. Would it count if she was high?

 

"Bullshit. You're the type of person who'd drunk kiss the shit out of someone."

 

Amy was blushing, furiously, because Pearl was right.

"Doesn't count." Her voice was so barely above a whisper.

 

"Still. You still did it,” Pearl murmured back, softly taking Amethyst's hand in her own. Nimble fingers caressing skin.

 

"It doesn't count!" Oh, Pearl's skin felt soft against her own. "I hardly even remember any of them."

 

"It doesn't matter. It's still probably more than me." Pearl bit her lip and looked away.

 

Amethyst watched her for a split second longer, then reached out to cup Pearl's face.

Leaned in.

Hesitated, again. Cheeks burning. Wasn't she going too far?

 

Pearl blinked, surprised when she really shouldn't have been. She met Amy halfway and pressed her lips against the other's. Eyes falling closed.

 

Her lips felt delicate against Amethyst's. Amy stilled, then kissed her back. It felt nice. Easy. Natural.

She smiled into the kiss.

Pearl focused on trying to bring her sobriety to attempt and figure out what was going on, all while still working into the kiss. The lovely cool night air contrasted so well with the warmth Amy and her breath and her lips brought.

 

Amy pulled away a few seconds later. She wondered what she was doing.

Pearl looked so lovely under the night sky. Amethyst was still caressing her face.

 

"That was nice. Thanks." Pearl then giggled and licked her lips. "You're so wonderful."

 

It took a few moments for Pearl's words to process in Amy's brain, and even then she was at a loss for words.

"But..." There was something off about what Pearl had said earlier. "Surely you must have kissed girls before?"

 

"They were very drunk. Less sober than us. One puked right after." Pearl felt like floating.

 

Amethyst chuckled. "Been there, done that." She leaned in and kissed Pearl again, briefly, because she wanted to.

 

Pearl didn't really go into this one. She was too drunk to really react. But that didn't stop her from touching Amy more.

 

Amy sighed, content, and put her arms around Pearl, pulling her into a tight hug. It was so nice.

A few minutes passed.

"Wanna go back inside?" she murmured into Pearl's shoulder.

 

"I'm way too out of it to focus on anything," Pearl replied. "Probably won't have much more fun. But I'll stay and you go if you take your phone."

 

"Nah, it's okay. I'll stay here." Amy didn't really want to do anything if Pearl didn't come with her. She cuddled back into Pearl. She liked being held like this.

 

"I don't want to go back home. I want to leave soon and never go back ever again."

 

Amy considered this for a few long moments.

"You wanna come back to mine? My parents won't mind. And even if they do, I don't care."

 

"Please. Let's go to bed together. I don't want to sleep this off alone."

 

"Okay." Amy only had a single bed, but Pearl was as thin as a beanpole, so it would work. Not that Amy had ever tried before. It didn't matter. "Let's stay here a little longer," she said, snuggling Pearl.

 

"Yeah. Sure." Pearl laid back, collapsing them both. "It's so pretty here."

 

"Hmmm." Amy found herself lying on top of Pearl, and adjusted her position a little so her head was on Pearl's shoulder. "You're prettier."

 

"Flattery will get you everywhere, you know?" Pearl smirked into Amy, touching her hair again.

 

"It's just the truth." Amethyst raised her head up a little to look at Pearl. Leaned in to plant a small, almost shy kiss on Pearl's cheek.

 

Pearl flushed at the peck and returned it, lips glossing over plump cheek. She grinned at the sight of Amethyst's face, it just looked so pretty. Her hair even seemed silvery in the moonlight, she wanted to keep touching it. The texture soft and comforting. "Thank you."

 

Amethyst smiled into Pearl's neck, content. It would have been enough for her to just stay here, with her, for eternity. She found herself drifting off, then nearly jerking away because she'd almost fallen asleep on Pearl. "Sorry," she muttered.

 

"We should get going back... home." Pearl looked up again. "I'm ready to sleep for a week."

 

Amy blinked at Pearl, sleepy. "Mmm," she said. "Yeah, let's do that."

 

"You're gonna have to lead the way on this one. And maybe hold me up."

 

Amy chuckled, then got up. She found that, surprisingly, standing wasn't all that hard. "Okay then, ya stoner," she laughed at Pearl and held out her hand for her. "C'mon. Let's go home."

 

"You had just as much," Pearl quipped back with a titter. She grabbed the hand and hauled herself up. "Stoner."

 

"You had more." Amy smiled at Pearl, refusing to let go of her hand even now that they were both standing. "The bus is that way, right?"

 

"I believe so. I sure hope they run this late. Though, this route ends at the airport, so I'm hopeful we're not stranded too bad. Besides, we still have cab money." Pearl then realised she was still standing in place. "Although I doubt many companies would arrange from a pickup in the middle of nowhere.”

 

"Yeah, man, the buses still run til pretty late. 'sides, even if they don't, we can just call a cab from the bus stop, right?" Amy started walking, dragging Pearl along behind her.

 

"Yes, that's correct. Kind of hope we won't have to. Can spend the rest of this money on things to make me happy."

 

Amy grinned up to her. "Like weed?"

When they got to the bus stop, they were lucky; the next bus was due to arrive in only a few minutes. They made it home without incident, where Amethyst unlocked the door and sneaked to her room quietly. She'd managed to somehow not really let go of Pearl's hand the entire time.

"Home sweet home," she announced when she took Pearl into her (very messy) room.

 

"Oh goodness. It's very... cosy." Pearl was too high to express her concern over Amethyst's hygeine levels. "I'm ready to collapse." Much like that shelf, from the looks of it.

 

"Heh! Glad you like it." Amy fell into bed and stretched out. "C'mere," she said, got impatient when Pearl took too long, and grabbed her so Pearl almost fell on top of her. Grinning, Amethyst curled her arms around Pearl and cuddled her.

 

Pearl flushed once more, but all her inhibitions had washed and smoked away. She smiled, kissing Amy once more on the cheek and letting her bodyweight drop on the other. "This is a good development."

 

"Heh, I know right?" Amy pulled Pearl closer and kissed her lips. The bed was small, but they'd make it work.

And anyway, Amy was probably about to fall asleep mid-kiss, so she didn't really care about anything right now. Except maybe Pearl.

 

Pearl gave a tired smile at the smooch. Too exhausted to fruitfully return it, and thus she let her eyes fall closed. Ready to sleep. "Hey. Thanks for tonight."

 

"No biggie. Let's do it again sometime." Amy curled her arms around Pearl and snuggled into her back. Her eyes dropped closed. Her last thought before she drifted off to sleep was how nice everything was when high, and how nice everything was when she was with Pearl.

 

Pearl snuggled into that touch, so frail that it wasn't really a challenge. The drugs and alcohol making sleep way easier than usual. She hoped things could stay this tranquil. This calm.


	12. Act II - Chapter VII: Subordination

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long-awaited resolution of the cliffhanger three chapters ago.
> 
> Content warning for mild choking.
> 
> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".

The school day was drawing to a close - the last lesson would be finishing soon. Principal Marigold Diamond was sitting in her office, her forehead in deep folds. Her work for the day was done, and yet something had been nagging her, a small discomfort at the back of her head.

Aurora.

She'd disciplined her secretary harshly for her misdemeanour a few days ago. For all she knew, Aurora had learned her lesson. And yet... and yet.

Diamond's thoughts kept drifting to her. She had to be sure it wouldn't happen again.

She rose gracefully from her chair and went through to the room where she knew she'd find her assistant.

"Aurora," she said, her voice soft, but stern.

 

 

Aurora glanced up immediately. She knew that tone all too well. Her nimble fingers briskly rushed over papers, turning them over so they weren't visible in a nondiscreet fashion. "Principal Diamond! May I help you?"

 

"That remains to be seen." The Principal didn't miss how Aurora turned over the papers she was working on. More secrets? She sauntered over to Aurora's desk.

"As I'm sure you're aware, I've been... disappointed in you recently." Her gaze flickered to the laptop screen that had held the incriminating evidence only a little while ago. "I was hoping you would find a way to make it up to me."

 

Aurora blinked, gaze darkening. "Mari, we're at work." The blonde hissed, sniffing.

 

The subtle hints of a smile that had begun to play around Diamond's lips faded immediately.

"Tell me, Aurora," she said, her words hard. "Do you always just think of... _that_ when you're here?" She knew the answer. She held Aurora's gaze, taunting. "And here I thought you were a respectable young lady."

 

"No!" Aurora bit at her tongue, realising she'd burst out with the reply. She felt a bead of sweat roll over her brow. "Let's start from the beginning. I'm sorry for letting you down. You've let me know you're displeased. If there's anything I can do to make it up, let me know."

 

Aurora's response came too fast, and Marigold knew she only needed to express her displeasure with the most subtle of shifts in her facial expression. Aurora paid so much attention to her; it was impossible she would miss it.

"That's better," she said calmly. "You can start with showing me what you're working on right now, and not calling me Mari again while we're in this building." It had only been a slip, she was sure; a rather drastic one, though, should anyone overhear.

 

Aurora cringed, feeling her breath shorten. She curled her fists and forced a pleasant smile. "Mm. Let me get it out for you." She rummaged in a drawer and pulled some documents out.

 

While Aurora was distracted with her drawer, Marigold took the opportunity to step closer to her. The temptation was always there, and with the nearly-empty bottle of sherry in her office, the Principal was far more inclined to give in to temptation.

So when Aurora looked up again, her boss was standing inches from her, looking down at her with an unreadable expression in her eyes, not touching Aurora - but definitely close enough to touch her should she change her mind.

 

 

Aurora, being far smaller and weaker (both in terms of physical strength and suboordination), began to tremble. She could smell the pang of booze on those lips. "I think I should go home. The school day is over."

 

"Not quite yet." The Principal's voice dropped down low. "Show me what you've been working on, will you?" It wasn't really a request; Aurora would know that. Marigold leaned forward, rested her hand on the back of Aurora's chair. Still not touching.

 

"Just...." Aurora looked around the room, nearly hyperventilating. In this state, she resembled Pearl. Tiny and afraid and nervous and trying her best to keep her calm. "Payroll. That thing you hired me for, Principal Diamond."

 

Diamond frowned, obviously dissatisfied.

"I _know_ what I hired you for," she said coldly. "Show me. You've hidden things from me in the past. I'm making sure it doesn't happen again."

 

"I'm under orders to keep this at close security and privacy. It is involving a student's data." Aurora swallowed, already dreading the answer. At least this wasn't a lie. She'd been going through Pearl's records at the discretion of Rose's words. The school had a systematic online based student behavior watch log that teachers were required to fill. Pearl's mental health in classes was marked all over these. It wasn't... necessarily legal, but more grey as she was acting on Pearl's best interest.

 

Marigold remained silent for a few moments. Aurora was hiding things from her. And she wasn't even trying to keep that fact from her boss. Which meant that Aurora probably thought what she was doing was necessary, and right.

Aurora's judgement was usually so sound. The Principal sighed. She was sure she knew which particular student this was about. "Your sister."

 

Aurora hid her surprise. "I urge you to leave her alone." She closed her eyes. "She's a danger to herself, currently. But we don't have authorisation to act more until she pulls something. A member of staff and myself are on the case."

 

A member of staff? It could only be Quartz. The person who the suspicious word document was addressed to that Aurora had foolishly allowed Diamond to see.

"I bear no ill will towards your sister." Pearl was, for all intents and purposes, insignificant. The only thing that made her even remotely special was her connection to Aurora. "See that she doesn't distract you from your work."

 

"I'm not the one you should be telling that," Aurora muttered, annoyed. She then realised the implications of the statement and sighed. "The _anonymous_ member of staff, as it turns out, has been increasingly worried about her mental state and is paying very close attention. We've got this. But I'm trying to ensure the safety of both her and her students. If she acts out, it won't be pretty. And we don't want police or press involvement over another dead kid. Especially my family."

 

Diamond looked at Aurora.

"Another death," she echoed, "yeah, we don't want that, do we." Did Aurora think it was good that Quartz was involved? From her words, Diamond doubted it.

"This... member of staff has been taking a... special interest in your sister, I presume," she said. "It's important to take care of students. But she's not been getting ahead of herself, has she?"

 

Aurora stiffened. This was the conclusion she feared. She knew of Quartz's reputation. "No. She's keeping it professional. We're fine."

 

"I see." Aurora protecting her sister was one thing, and quite understandable. Diamond doubted she would protect Quartz. Unless... but Diamond decided to trust Aurora. For now.

"Keep an eye on her, will you? Both of them." No doubt Aurora was already doing that, but there was no harm in reminding her.

 

"I'm trying. But I can't control a member of staff. That's not in my interest."

 

"I'm not asking you to." There it was: a hand on Aurora's shoulder, firm yet oddly gentle. "We both know who's doing the controlling here, hm? Just watch them."

 

 

Aurora looked bothered by this, feathers ruffled if she had them. Her face flushed, voice timid. "Yes, Principal Diamond."

 

The tiniest of smiles. "Good girl," she said, her voice nearly inaudible. Her hand sneaked up, touching the back of Aurora's neck. "Can you show me anything else you've been doing today?" It was much closer to a request than a demand this time.

 

"Honestly, just answering monitoring enquiries. Students have been flagging up mature content sites. Year sevens looking for porn."

 

"They are far too young for that kind of thing." A stern look of disapproval, not aimed at Aurora this time. "Make sure you ban everything related to it. Students are here to learn, not to conduct themselves in an indecent manner. God knows I've seen enough of that lately." Some days it was particularly bad, and it seemed the girls could not keep their hands to themselves. They needed to learn that such behaviours were simply unacceptable.

She absentmindedly played with the hair at the nape of Aurora's neck.

 

Aurora shivered under those nimble fingers. She craved that touch. That warmth. Marigold. "I'll see to it. I'm sorry I've kept things from you, Principal Diamond."

 

"Make sure it doesn't happen again."

She felt Aurora shivering, leaning in to her touch. Oh, she liked it. Liked her. Marigold kept her expression neutral.

"Will you drive me home later?" she asked.

 

"Yes. You're too drunk to make it back alone." Aurora sighed and found her keys. "Let's go." She was rushed. Too quick on her words.

 

"No need to hurry." Diamond squeezed Aurora's neck lightly. A warning. "Wait until last period is over. And, by the way, I am not drunk." Not very. She was still in control of her senses, of her actions. She probably could drive home herself in this state. But she didn't want to. Not when it was such a nice way her pretty assistant could make herself useful.

 

"Oh, please, do that more." Aurora whined, twitching. "I have knots. On my neck. It feels alright when you do it."

 

Diamond was only taken by surprise a little bit. It was rare that Aurora took initiative and asked her for what she wanted, but it did happen.

On occasions like these, Marigold found that she rather liked giving it to her. Her touch turned gentler, and she added her other hand, massaging Aurora's neck.

"Better?" she murmured.

 

"A little harder. Don't be afraid." Aurora gave a dark titter, smiling into the grip. "It's already a lot better."

 

Marigold obliged, pressing a little harder to work loose the knots in Aurora's neck. The school bell rang, completely ignored by either of them. Marigold felt her cheeks getting warm - she loved Aurora's small noises of pleasure. If only she could hear them more... but she needed to be patient.

Being patient was not something she was good at, especially after drinking. Her fingers ran along Aurora's neck, then further up to her ear, then her cheek. Her other hand gently locked around Aurora's throat.

 

Aurora closed her eyes, and grinned. Pleasured. "I like this. A lot." She slacked a little, easing into those touches. The two were locked in quite the position.

 

 

"I know," Marigold said softly, her breath quickening just a little. She liked seeing Aurora like this, completely bent to her, at her will, and -

There was a knock on the door, and whoever it was had the audacity to open the door before they were answered. Marigold quickly withdrew her hands from Aurora, schooled her expression. Her gaze went cold as she realised who had interrupted them.

"Quartz."

 

Aurora fell into the chair as she was no longer supported. She looked to the doorway, eyes widening. Blush spreading. "Miss Quartz! How good to see you. H-how can I help?"

 

Rose was only here to speak to Aurora - she'd told her to see her after school, so Rose hadn't expected the Principal to be there. She was mildly shocked to see herself facing Diamond, who was looming over Aurora in a manner that could almost be interpreted as threatening. A small knot of worry tightened in Rose's stomach.

"I - I'm sorry, Principal Diamond," she said, "I was hoping I could speak to Aurora briefly."

Diamond narrowed her eyes.

"Your payroll again?"

Rose fidgeted. She'd not expected this - having to make up another excuse was not something she'd prepared for. She decided to go for something as close to the truth as she dared. "No, it's - it's actually about her sister, Pearl. She's, her academic performance has been... lacking lately, and her parents are difficult to get a hold of, so - so I was hoping Aurora could talk to her." She shot Aurora a pleading look.

 

Aurora nearly slammed her head onto the desk. More suspicion. More cover blown. "Yeah. Of course. May I?"

 

Diamond looked from Quartz to Aurora, instantly suspicious again. Quartz was most likely trying to cover up any problems they were having with Pearl. Diamond did not appreciate it.

And she did not like the fact that Quartz just walked in on her and Aurora in a ... compromising situation.

She could hardly deny Quartz's request, though, not after talking about this with Aurora. If anything, this was important to her assistant.

She made a mental note to take over monitoring this particular situation herself. She couldn't trust Aurora. She forced a smile and said, "Of course. I'll be in my office if you need me."

 

Rose breathed a sigh of relief when Diamond left. "Is everything okay?" she asked Aurora.

 

"You need to leave. This was a mistake. Oh my God we're fucked." Aurora gritted her teeth as she whispered her panic. "She's onto us. She didn't find out everything but she found out a lot."

 

Rose stared at Aurora, shocked.

"What do you mean?" she said, her heart beating frantically. "What did she find out?" There was nothing bad going on, was there? - But Rose thought immediately of the last time she'd spoken to Pearl alone, and how she hugged her, comforted her, and wished so much that more were possible. There was no way Diamond could have found out about that... was there?

 

"She's suspicious. You know how she gets with literally everyone. But she makes the people she targets suffer. We don't want to be there. You don't want to be her victim."

 

Rose shook her head.

"But there's nothing going on," she said. "We're just looking out for a student - you know what happened last time we didn't... I didn't." She swallowed, not liking the reminder. "The point is, she has nothing she can use against me."

 

"You underestimate her. Just... Be careful. This isn't worth losing your career. She isn't worth losing it, either."

 

"I understand." Rose frowned. "I'll be careful. Did you - did you find anything about Pearl?"

 

"Not good. She keeps getting withdrawn when she's not with her friend. But at least she's not skiving school anymore."

 

"She's doing alright in class though, isn't she?" At least, she definitely was in Biology. And she was with Amethyst more often than not. "She's making progress."

 

"But she needs more help. She is alone too much. I'm just worried. I don't want another... you know."

 

"Nobody wants that." Rose sighed. "You know I'm doing what I can. But especially with Diamond breathing down my neck, there's only so much I can do."

 

Aurora nodded. Settling back down. "She'll be back soon. You should probably leave."

 

"Okay. Thanks for all your help, Aurora." And with that, as well as a glance towards the Principal's office, Rose turned and left.

Diamond came out of her office moments after the door had closed behind Rose.

It did not take an expert to see that she was furious. She'd taken the opportunity to drink some more alcohol, and was really rather more drunk now. She wasted no time in getting close to Aurora, her hand locking around her assistant's throat again.

"Drive me home." It wasn't a request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oookay, okay... wow. You have no idea how long we've been waiting to reveal the true nature of Aurora and Principal Diamond's relationship. Well, we've hinted at it before so honestly don't know how much of a surprise it REALLY is.
> 
> We've written a few smutty inserts which we will start publishing chronologically - there's one following this chapter, another one we wrote for a later chapter and there will most likely be more. Their dynamic is incredibly fascinating to write, and the inserts will be fairly instrumental to both their character arcs, so do stay tuned! And stay tuned on here as well. This, roughly, is where the fun really starts.
> 
> One more chapter for Act II after this, then we're on to Act III! We hope you're excited!
> 
> EDIT: We've published the first insert! You can find it [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7670068/chapters/17467765).


	13. Act II - Chapter VIII: Real Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".

Pearl felt bleary. Her head hurt. Her phone alarm buzzed, despite being eerily low on battery. She lifted a hand, feeling too warm. She felt a soft mound and realised it was Amethyst. She swallowed, instantly raising herself, prompted and jolted as if an electric current had passed through her. She cautiously trode through memories of the previous night for anything compromising. Everything after the weed was a blank. She stared at herself. It wouldn't have been the first time.

 

Amethyst woke up slightly cramped and very, very warm. Her head was sore and she needed to take a moment to remember where she was. And who she was with... and what they'd done last night.

 

 

Pearl was still here. That was good. If Amethyst hadn't been so sore, she would have freaked out then and there. She carefully extracted her limbs from around Pearl and sat up, running a hand through her hair.

 

Pearl paused. "Please tell me you remember something about last night." Pearl's fingers awkwardly tapped at her sides.

 

Amethyst started. She hadn't realised Pearl was awake.

She slowly processed Pearl's sentence. Yeah - she remembered all right. She frowned at Pearl.

"You don't remember?" she said.

 

"Nothing. I remember you being lost. That's about it. How did I even get here?"

 

"We got high," Amethyst said. "You more than me, apparently? Just chilled outside for some time. And you didn't want to go home by yourself so I took you back home with me." She thought back to kissing Pearl. Her kissing Pearl, Pearl kissing her. She flushed, didn't look at Pearl.

 

"That's innocent enough!" Pearl announced her approval and stretched out. "Mm. Looks like it's going to be a decent day."

 

Amy blushed deeper. "Yeah... innocent." She bit her tongue. She probably shouldn't say anything more - it would just lead to trouble. She lay back and shot a small glance at Pearl. "No school." There was a reason they'd elected to go on a Friday. It was Saturday, therefore there was no need to get up and do things.

 

"Well. Sorry to inconvenience you. I'd probably better get going. My parents might actually notice my lack of presence and throw a rare but predicable riot."

 

"You don't wanna have breakfast?" Amy wasn't quite sure what they had in the house, but there would be something. As much as she didn't want Pearl to know what had happened the night before - she would have liked her to stay a little while.

 

"Oh, please, the last thing I need is that." Pearl absentmindedly rolled her eyes. Lost in thought. "Where's the nearest bus stop?"

 

"You should eat something." Amy already knew she wasn't going to convince Pearl. "I'm going to eat something. You don't need to leave just yet."

 

"No, thanks. But I appreciate it, really." Pearl attempted a diplomatic smile. "That's where I put my headphones!"

 

Amy hung her head. "Alright. I'll show you to the bus stop. You can take the 43 back to your place." Part of her was really, really disappointed Pearl didn't remember.

 

Pearl slipped on her shoes. "Let's go, then!" She couldn't help but glance outside. Cloudless. "A day of complete possibility. I'm planning to arrange my wardrobe."

 

"Good for you." Amy wondered if Pearl noticed she seemed grumpy. Even if she did, she'd probably just blame Amy's hangover. Amy found her shoes and grabbed her keys. "C'mon."

 

Pearl made her way to the door and outside. "Thanks, though. For coming with me and letting me crash. I hope high me didn't do anything too cringey."

 

"It's no problem." Her cheeks heated up again. Pearl hadn't really done anything... cringey. Whether Amethyst had... well, that was still up for debate. "The bus isn't gonna be here for another twenty minutes," she said. "Want me to wait with you?"

 

"I don't mind. Unless you've got something better to do." Pearl daintly walked to the stop, spotting the place.

 

Amy shrugged. "Not really." Her plans consisted of lying in bed and watching TV all day. It could wait a little longer.

She looked up at Pearl. "You okay?"

 

"Oh, yes. Just a little anxious. Don't want to overstay my welcome. But I had fun, from what I remember. Try not to get lost on me again, though."

 

"Will do my best." Her mouth twitched up in a small smile. "Yeah, you seemed like you were enjoying yourself." She wondered how Pearl would react if she told her.

 

"We should... do this again, sometime." Pearl smiled, tension seeping into her. Her head pounded. She mentally cursed herself for not even asking for water.

 

"Yeah!" Amy thought back. "I don't even remember what happened to the weed. I think we probably dropped it somewhere? We definitely didn't have all of it."

 

"Oh God. I can't remember! That was a lot left!" Pearl gritted teeth and panicked. "I hope we didn't lose it..."

 

Amy blushed. "I have no idea where it is," she said, "we were kind of... busy at the time." God, that sounded a lot more dodgy than she'd intended it to be. She looked down, cheeks aflame.

 

Pearl paused. Oh. Oh, that didn't sound good. She screeched internally. "Wow. So. Um. You think we left it?"

 

"... Probably?" Amy glanced up, then down again. A little disappointed that Pearl would care more about the weed than about what, exactly, they'd been busy with. But hey, Amethyst had chosen not to tell her in the first place - it was silly to hope for a second chance now.

 

Amethyst couldn't be further from the truth. The word 'busy' etched itself to Pearl's mind. A thousand teenage thoughts and connotations flung around at hyperspeed. "Some lucky bastard will pick it up, then."

 

"Yeah, I guess." Amy grimaced. "Hey, I'll make it up to you. I'll buy you some next time, alright? We can get high again." She dreaded it, to be honest. She'd probably kiss Pearl again. She was also looking forward to it. But at some point, she'd have to fess up to Pearl, and at some point, Pearl would remember and ask her about it. And she wanted to put that off as long as possible.

 

"Sure, if you insist." Pearl winked. She wasn't going to pass up an opportunity for a free joint. "You done any of your homework?"

 

"Homework?" Amy laughed loudly. "Gimme a break, P. It's the weekend." She glanced up suspiciously. "Why - have you?"

 

"Some. All of my biology. But... I wanted to. It was interesting." Pearl looked away. Softly smiling. "I wonder if I'm getting better."

 

Biology. With Miss Quartz. Amethyst was reminded of the way Pearl had talked about their teacher before. Surely Pearl would never be interested in someone like her.

Normally, Amethyst would have teased Pearl about it. Now, she just said, "I guess."

 

"I think she might be right, you know? That I should pursue it. I've been reading a lot."

 

"That's cool." Amy’s head was pounding painfully. She checked her phone - five minutes until Pearl's bus was due to arrive. She'd made a mistake not telling Pearl about what happened last night.

 

Pearl's thoughts ran rampant, but she didn't let it slip. "You can copy off me again, if you want. The homework."

 

Amy looked up.

"But you always just do extra credit stuff, right?" She didn't realise Pearl was doing the regular homework too. Wow, what a nerd.

 

"It's all interesting. I just like doing all of these things." Pearl shrugged. "You can pretend you're doing extra credit."

 

Amy snorted. "Me, extra credit. As if." She always just did the minimum required; literally everyone knew that. "But thanks for the offer."

 

"Well. I'll let you have a look at everything. There's extension questions, too." Pearl looked out, seeing into the distance.

 

"Sure." Amy honestly didn't care, but it would make Pearl happy. That was reason enough to agree.

 

"How much longer?" Pearl delicately swung around the bus pole. Legs entwining around it as she pretended to poledance.

 

"Like two minu... what the hell are you doing?" Amethyst couldn't look away. She knew Pearl was only messing around, but the sight was striking.

 

"It doesn't strain my knee too much. And it can hold my weight." Pearl beamed, shimmying over the pole.

 

 

Amethyst blushed again. She couldn't look away. "Stop it," she said, entirely meaning the other thing. She'd honestly love to watch Pearl do this forever.

 

"I feel good. I feel... alright. Hah. I could get used to this." Pearl crossed her arms and paused, for Amethyst's sake.

 

Her cheeks were burning. "Maybe you should get into pole dancing," she said. "I'd watch you." Whoops. She should be careful. But then... Pearl was certainly not oblivious to the fact Amethyst had been ogling her ever since she started her little show.

 

Pearl tittered. Tossing her hair back and holding her gaze at the sky before down at Amethyst."Oh, you're too much. Too kind. Maybe... I'll talk to physio about it."

 

Amethyst finally managed to look away. She checked her phone again. The bus should have arrived two minutes ago. "Bus is late," she said, "they're not too good on weekends." She didn't realise she was walking towards Pearl until she was almost right in front of her. Still blushing.

 

Pearl paused. Inches away from Amethyst. Pearl then processed to 'boop' her companion's nose as the bus began to finally roll into place. "Here we go!"

 

The bus turned around the corner and Amethyst felt a pang of regret. "Alright then," she said. "See you Monday?" She held her arms out for a hug.

 

Pearl nodded. Bringing her frail body into those comforting arms. "You hold out alright. Don't go doing anything I would."

 

Amy chuckled. "You're acting like you're the bad girl between us." Then let go of Pearl and smiled at her. "Text me when you're home, yeah?"

 

Pearl clambered into the bus, waving. "I sure will! Bye!" She then brought out her purse and bought a ticket as the bus shut. She turned around to wave at Amethyst through the mirror. As she glanced again, the fog in her had lifted. A flood seemed to seep up.

She remembered being kissed. Not the context or the emotions behind it.

She remembered kissing Amethyst. A lot.

Pearl nearly fell when the bus began to move.

 

Amy's shoulders slumped and she went back to her place, where she lay down on her bed and proceeded to sleep for the majority of the day. She thought of Pearl a lot, but never actually did anything about it - didn't reply to Pearl's text, didn't call her, and overall only left her room if she absolutely needed to.

 

The weekend went swiftly after that. But Pearl was constantly thinking and wondering why Amethyst hadn't said anything. She still didn't know the context to the kisses and wondered if she ever would.

Monday rolled about. She'd had a psychiatric assessment in the morning and had missed several early lessons, much to her annoyance. Pearl had, however, made it just into biology.

 

Rose had given Pearl a few rather tricky questions for the weekend, and she was interested to find out what Pearl had gotten for them. Her student slipped into the classroom barely in time for the lesson to start - had she been missing other classes again?

She taught the other students her regular stuff and paid little attention to Pearl throughout the class, but when the bell rang and the other students began to file out, Rose called Pearl to her to discuss her homework. She noticed Amethyst was trailing behind, waiting for Pearl.

 

Pearl's gaze fixed on Amy for a good minute before she mouthed 'sorry' and turned to Rose. Her teacher was more important right now. She needed to bury thoughts of her hijinks and think about her future. "I did them." She dug for the papers. A stack on the desk. "I would tell you to enjoy but... this doesn't look all that fun to mark."

 

Rose smiled at Pearl. "It's a change from the hundreds of other things I have to mark that all say the same thing." She then lowered her voice a little and added, "How are you?"

 

"Had an appointment this morning. They're thinking of actually setting up a support network." Everyone had left. She felt confident enough to be honest.

 

"That's good! How do you feel about it?" A support network couldn't be a bad idea, right? Pearl hardly had any friends. Rose had witnessed her improving a lot, especially since making friends with Amethyst, but it was still hardly enough.

 

"Yeah. But it seems an awful amount of work for something which might not even work." Pearl frowned, looking away.

 

"It's worth a try. It'll be good for you to make more new friends." Rose smiled at Pearl. "How are you doing otherwise?" It was still a few days until their scheduled weekly lunch together, and Rose liked checking in on Pearl at other times as well.

 

Pearl bit her lip. Needing to talk to someone about the Amethyst situation. Not brave enough to open up about it. "Yeah, I'm fine."

 

"You sure?" Rose had learned to read Pearl fairly well in the past few weeks. "You look like there's something on your mind."

 

"It's not exactly appropriate to discuss. Or. Well. It might or might not be. I can't remember enough."

 

Rose looked at her desk and sorted through some papers. "You don't have to tell me. But you can, if you want. I won't judge."

 

"I got high and can't remember anything I did with... my only current friend." Pearl twiddled her long fingers, face contorted with worry.

 

"Hmm. But you can trust Amethyst, surely? She wouldn't do anything dodgy." Rose knew Amy well enough to be sure of that.

 

"I don't know. What if it was... me? I've been so out of it with feelings over the past month or so and what if I took advantage of her as an outlet? How do I even talk to her about it? She didn't even want to tell me!"

 

"Okay, I'm confused." Rose frowned mildly, looking at Pearl. "Why don't you start from the beginning? You said you don't remember, but you seem to remember something?"

 

Pearl paused. Realising she'd have to reveal more intimate details. Perhaps this would... impress Rose. "We went out. I got drunk again. It felt safer than last time because Amy was with me. Then she went missing and I got a lot of pot and then I think I found her and then we smoked the pot and then... all I remember is touches and kisses and I can't handle it! I don't know why we were doing that kind of stuff! I mean yeah I do that stuff with boys sometimes back when people actually CARED about me enough to invite me to parties but now that I'm all lost and my fucking foot is defective, I don't! Because I'm unfuckable or whatever! But... but... I'm confused." She realised she was hyperventilating. Face red. Words streaming out of her mouth.

 

Rose took a moment to process this.

"And she... didn't talk to you about it afterwards?" That was odd. But she doubted Pearl would have done anything bad.

 

"No! She didn't! And she had less than me. I know she remembers what happened. I just... I'm so confused!"

 

Rose thought.

"She probably... has her reasons for not bringing it up. Maybe she was embarrassed." Though why anyone would be embarrassed to be kissing Pearl, Rose did not understand in the slightest. "You should ask her. Be honest. She's probably waiting for you outside." Rose smiled.

 

"It's more than that. I don't know how I feel about... anyone, right now. It's frustrating. But..." Pearl looked at Rose again. "I suppose you're the last person I should be telling about these feelings. "

 

Rose held Pearl's gaze for a long moment.

"I don't mind." She was well aware Pearl liked her. Amethyst was an unexpected factor, an interesting one, and Rose didn't disapprove. Pearl and Amethyst would be cute together. For all intents and purposes, Amethyst was probably a better match for Pearl than Rose... was she really thinking that? She wasn't really thinking that.

 

"You know it involves you. It'll just make things more awkward." Perhaps it was still remnant cannabis from the weekend, but Pearl felt oddly relaxed saying that. Acknowledging her feelings properly. It felt like... Pearl inhaled. It felt like breathing again.

 

Rose looked up, surprised. Pearl had never actually freely admitted to her feelings for Rose before.

She took a deep breath. "You know nothing can or will ever happen on that front," she said softly. "And I'm still here for you to talk to. About anything."

 

"I think I'll be just fine," Pearl replied, her voice a little strained. "I think I should go and talk with her sooner rather than later."

 

Rose swallowed.

"That's... probably a good idea." She stepped towards the door, holding it open for Pearl. Sure enough, Amethyst was waiting outside. "Good luck," Rose said, squeezing Pearl's shoulder.

 

Pearl suffered at the touch. Suffered at the blush it inspired. She stayed a second too long to not be awkward, just to revel in that touch.

 

Rose's hand lingered a little too long. She was interrupted, eventually, by Amethyst, who bounced towards Pearl.

"Yo, P, what took you so long! Bye, Miss Quartz!" Amethyst grabbed Pearl's arm and dragged her away, waiting until she was out of earshot of their teacher to mutter, "Principal D was lurking at the end of the corridor for like, ages. Pretty sure she saw you and Quartz."

 

"What the fuck?" Pearl whispered back, following close behind. "Did she want Miss Quartz? Why didn't she go in after I left?"

 

"I dunno, man. That woman is, like, so creepy." Amethyst risked a shy look in Pearl's direction. She'd not talked to her at all since Saturday morning. Things felt weird. But maybe everything just had to go back to normal. Really, Amethyst just needed to forget about Friday night.

 

"Hey,” Pearl said. “Can we maybe... realtalk? Like. Talk. For real? Real talk. Because we haven't... spoken much. How was... your weekend?"

 

Amethyst froze.

"Real... talk?" she stammered.

Had Pearl... remembered?

"Can we not just like, normal talk?" She fought to get her composure back. A large part of her screamed at her to run.

 

"...That's also an agreeable idea. But... we need to talk. Real talk, normal talk, as long as it isn't double speak I'm good." Pearl stopped, looking around. "About Friday."

 

Okay, yeah, something was definitely up. Not good. Not good at all.

"Friday? Yeah? What about it. It was cool. We should do it again. Nothing to talk about. Right?" Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

 

"Amy," Pearl pleaded, looking upset. "I need to know what happened. What _really_ happened."

 

"You said you didn't remember!" Had Pearl lied? Or had her memory come back later? Amethyst was confused, scared, willing to bolt at the first opportunity she saw. She knew she probably shouldn't, but the seriousness with which Pearl was trying to talk to her was terrifying.

 

"I know that we kissed. I remember that much. I just want to know what happened. What I said to you, what you told me."

 

Amethyst's cheeks were burning again. She looked away. "Nothing happened. It doesn't matter. We were both really drunk, and really high, and just got carried away, okay? It doesn't matter."

 

"Because I want to know if I hurt you!" Pearl finally snapped. "Ever since you told me we did things. Well, you didn't. You hinted at it. And ever since, my head has been going crazy! All weekend I've wanted to know."

 

"What?!"

Amethyst turned around, staring at Pearl. "That's what you've been making all this fuss about? You're worried you hurt me? Trust me, P, I wouldn't be talking to you right now if you had. It was just a bit of drunken makeouts. It didn't mean anything, jeez."

 

"So, it didn't." Pearl sounded almost... disappointed. She then began to laugh. And cry. "Oh, wow. They were right. I do struggle with communication. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

 

"Jeez, it's not a big deal." Amethyst crossed her arms and looked down. "Let's just go to maths and pretend this never happened, okay?"

 

"Yeah. Let's... let's do that." Pearl stifled a sigh. Perhaps ignoring it was for the best. What were feelings, anyway? Just silly, abstract and irrational thoughts.

 

"Good." Amy didn't understand why Pearl would make such a huge fuss over it. It was just drunken kisses. They didn't count. They never did. And why on earth would someone like Pearl even look twice at someone like Amethyst?

"We should still do it again some time." She spoke quickly, quietly, half hoping Pearl wouldn't hear.

 

"I believe that was on the agenda. But let's focus on getting to class for now." Pearl smiled and trailed her way in. Forcing herself to block out and repress every scandalous feeling.

 

"Alright."

Usually, sitting next to Pearl was detrimental to Amethyst's focus in class, but today she found she could concentrate on the material just fine. She hardly exchanged another word with Pearl throughout the next lesson.

 

 

END OF ACT 2


	14. Act III - Chapter I: Slipping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act three!  
> Hold on to something, folks. You're in for quite a ride.
> 
> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> CW for eating disorder discussions in this chapter.

 

 

At least things didn't get any more awkward. Pearl didn't push her boundaries, in either terms of Rose or Amethyst. As lessons turned into days and days turned into weeks, it seemed the status quo rested on a false sense of security. A lull.

Until the early snow came.

It was late November, and Pearl had begun to sleep in a hoodie, her knee growing stiffer by the cold morning. Her nose felt stuffed, and when she attempted to blow it, she sounded all too much like Aurora.

She had a cold. Her throat felt sore. A dull ache at her groin reminded her of the fact she was due for a period. Everything that could have gone wrong in terms of health had gone horribly wrong. The heater wasn't working, it seemed. She'd complained about the cold to her parents, but from the goosepimples over her now hairy skin, it appeared to have switched off overnight.

Pearl had slowly but surely begun to lose slightly more weight. Keeping it quiet. Lying, here and there. But despite the sniffles, she felt more engaged. Keeping up a facade was at least time consuming. She wondered if Amethyst knew. Rose hadn't pried, yet.

 

 

Yet.

She began her morning routine, shaking. Somehow, Pearl made it to school. Feeling her cheeks rise in heat enough to spark a headache, she went in.

 

It was getting close to Christmas, and Rose, who loved the holidays, had been keeping busy - finding presents, decorating her home, baking. She rarely received visitors, but when she did, they would always find a plate of home-made biscuits that were never more than a few days old.

Perhaps it was because of her overall festive mood that she hadn't really paid much attention to Pearl. Today was the day of their weekly lunch. Rose was aware she had not been as attentive to Pearl as she should have been - it had been partially on purpose because she was aware that her relationship with Pearl sometimes got dangerously close to overstepping professiona; boundaries. But she'd also been busy, and Pearl had been making progress, so she hadn't felt it as necessary.

It was only in the past few days that she'd noticed: Pearl had lost weight. She was eating whenever Rose was with her, but there were many opportunities for her to skip meals still, and Rose was worried.

She was going to ask her about it today. She waited patiently until lunch came around.

 

Pearl now saw herself wrapped up in scarves and bundled in layers. It was easy to hide her secret. To blend in. She'd learned to do it in front of Rose. In her view, Rose hadn't mentioned her weight for a while and that was for the better.

Tucked in her winter coat, she made her way to their usual meeting spot.

 

Rose was already there, waiting for Pearl. She smiled at her student as she arrived, then took her to their usual cafe and sat in their usual place.

It was amazing how routine this was by now. She couldn't imagine not having weekly lunches with Pearl anymore.

"How are you?" she asked Pearl with a warm smile.

 

"I'm doing okay! Just anticipating the snow. I've got a bit of a cold, though, so you might want to stay away. My room heater broke." She sat down and eyed the hot drinks on the menu. "How are you, Miss?"

 

"Oh, no! I hope you get better soon. Do you have anything else you can use? An electric heater or a heated blanket or something?" She smiled at Pearl. "I'm good." If she was being honest, she was lonely. She didn't have many friends, and it had been several months since she'd last dated anyone for real. Her lunches with Pearl were the closest thing to dates she had at the moment - and she would never, ever admit it, but she'd occasionally wished Pearl was there with her, in her big and lonely house. It was far, far from a good idea, and Rose was well aware that these were thoughts she should not reasonably be having, but she'd accepted it. It had happened before; this was no different, and fighting it was no use.

 

"I don't have anything right now. Might try and steal a hot water bottle from the cupboard, though." Pearl shrugged. "It's getting colder, though. Can't believe it's nearly Christmas."

 

"Yeah." Rose's face lit up. "Are you excited? I've always loved Christmas." Although, with Pearl's family situation... it might be awkward.

She pushed away thoughts of inviting Pearl over for Christmas. As much as she'd like to; as much as Pearl would probably not say no.

The waiter came to take their orders.

 

"I'll have the tea. Thanks." Pearl smiled at the waiter, rubbing her hands together briefly for friction. Everything felt so cold at this bodyweight. Even under layers.

 

Rose ordered her sandwich and frowned lightly at Pearl. When the waiter had departed, she leaned a little closer. "Aren't you going to eat something?"

 

"I've got a huge dinner waiting at home." This song and dance once again. She would order if Rose pushed her to again. There was an open bathroom at a burger joint just down the block. She would wait for Rose to get out of view and dash. She'd vomited there since October.

 

Rose narrowed her eyes. "Really? But dinner isn't for a few hours. You should eat something." Pearl was wearing a lot of clothes underneath her coat, but it was still painfully obvious how thin she was. Rose's heart ached.

 

Pearl smiled and bowed her head briefly. "As you wish,” she said, waving the waiter over. “Carrot and coriander soup, please. Thank you." Soup would come out better. The colour would be easiest to track. Pearl knew it was served with bread. It would come out last, anyway, due to its density. She decided on the eating order in a split second and focused back on Rose. "Lessons alright?"

 

"They're nothing new." Her lessons were routine. She actually enjoyed the odd student who, like Pearl, needed some special treatment.

She decided to cut to the chase. "You've lost weight again."

 

Pearl froze.

It was almost as if she could feel her insides cool below the temperature of the room. Her eyes were wide for a second. She'd expected someone to maybe notice at some point but...

Not today.

"I'm flattered, but you're incorrect. I'm the same I was in September."

 

"It wasn't a compliment." God forbid Pearl interpret Rose's observations as that. "And you're not. I've seen you nearly every day for months." Her cheeks were getting hollower, her arms thinner. Rose paid far too much attention to Pearl to miss it, even now that she was more busy and less concerned. It had become a habit far too difficult to break.

 

"And I'm exactly the same." Pearl voice cracked. "You don't even know what I look like. I've worn a jumper twice my size for the past two months."

 

She had indeed, but Rose still saw her skinny wrists. Her hollowing cheeks. She sighed. "Pearl... you're still in therapy, right?"

 

"I am indeed. Look. I'm sick right now. I probably don't look that great. I'll get better and look normal when the season is done with making me cold."

 

Rose bit her lip. It might not just be the season making Pearl cold. But she decided to let it go. For now. "How are things with Amethyst?"

 

"They're alright. We haven't had time to hang out because of the mock exams. Need to revise. But once they're over, I think we're planning to hang out."

 

"That's good. You need to spend time with your friends." Pearl was probably just as lonely as Rose was. She didn't like the direction of those thoughts. "How are your exams going?"

 

"I'm studying to the best of my ability. Or, well, as far as my procrastination will let me." Pearl sighed as the tea came. She drank it black, ignoring the milk it came with. And definetly the sugar.

 

Rose gave Pearl a warm smile. "You'll do wonderfully. I just know you will." Along with Pearl's tea came the coffee Rose had ordered. She stirred sugar into it and took a sip.

 

Pearl stared at her teacher drink and then sipped herself. The scalding drink felt far too warm for her. Everything stuck to her now warmer skin. It irritated her. She refused to let it show. "Thank you."

 

They sat in silence for a while, Rose's brow still furrowed with worry.

"Do you have anything planned over Christmas?" she then asked after a few minutes.

 

"Nothing, really. I should get a job or something. But I don't know... I get enough from my parents."

 

"It might still not be a bad idea." Earning your own money was such a liberating feeling. On the other hand, someone as unstable as Pearl working a student job, possibly in retail? It might backfire badly.

 

She didn't seem to be overwhelmed with the suggestion. "I'll think over it." Code for, 'no. I really won't.' "I'm too tired to work. I've been exhausted for a while."

 

Rose's frown deepened. Everything Pearl said just served to cement her suspicion that Pearl hadn't been eating enough. But Pearl didn't seem too keen on talking to her about it. Maybe she should talk to Aurora... but she couldn't keep running to Pearl's sister whenever something was wrong with Pearl, and from the way Aurora had acted last time they talked, it was probably not the best way of action.

"Are you sure you're eating enough?" she said. "If you're not, then of course you'll be exhausted. Your body isn't getting enough energy." Also not enough energy to keep her warm in winter.

 

"Or it's because I have a cold?" She closed her eyes, "I'm getting good right now. Isn't that good enough for you? You've seen me eat. I've been eating normally. Why can't you trust me already?"

 

Rose resisted the urge to point out that malnutrition also weakened the immune system.

Instead, she simply pointed out, "You've lost weight."

 

"Prove it," Pearl shot back. Feeling her anxiety rise. Had she really just said that? So rude and... Oh God she couldn't do this.

 

Rose sighed.

"I don't have to. Pearl..." She was taking a risk, she knew she was, by delicately placing a hand on Pearl's back. "I've been watching you for months. More than others. Did you think I wasn't going to notice? Especially after knowing you've struggled with these things before? Just because you eat when you're with me doesn't mean you do when you're not."

 

Pearl melted into that touch, somehow pulling her body closer. Her eyes were nearly half lidded and heavy in response- either in her bliss or her exhaustion. "Don't do this, Miss. I'm healthy. You've seen the evidence of me eating. That's not the problem. What if it's my metabolism?"

 

"What if it isn't?" Pearl had been doing this for ages, she would know how to hide. "Pearl, I only want to help you."

 

"You're not! You're just making me hate myself more!" Pearl snapped. "I don't like being in your hotseat, especially with the way..." She paused. Voice growing softer. "I feel about you."

 

Rose's cheeks warmed. It had happened a few more times over the past weeks, but it was still unusual for Pearl to speak openly of her feelings for her. Not for the first time (far, far from the first time) Rose wished Pearl wasn't her student.

"Then what am I supposed to do, Pearl?" she said softly, gently. Her hand moving a little lower on Pearl's back, coming to rest at her side, like Rose was hugging her. "You can't expect me to sit by and watch you hurt yourself. It's worse if you're lying about it. I... I care about you." She swallowed. "A lot."

 

She stopped. Looked up at Rose with what seemed to be frustration and indignation. She then internalised it, nearly shaking as she forced her cheeks to press a smile. "That's good. I appreciate it."

 

Rose kept her position for only a moment longer before withdrawing quite suddenly.

She'd gone too far. What if someone saw? What would Pearl think? Her student was already obviously uncomfortable. Rose couldn't quite meet her eyes, but was also too proud to utter an apology - that would mean admitting, and to Pearl at that, that she'd made a mistake.

There was no taking it back.

"Is there... anything I can do?" If her voice was shaking a little, Rose defiantly ignored it.

 

"Leave it alone. Just don't think about it. Don't think about... me being bad. I can be good. To myself, too. And positive encouragement works better than berating and interrogating me," Pearl replied, watching the soup come. Her eyes watered a little at it. It smelt amazing from feet away.

 

Rose shuffled to the side, bringing space between Pearl and herself. She didn't answer until after the waiter was gone and she'd taken a bite of her sandwich.

Positive encouragement. Had Rose not been doing that, or at least trying to, for the past few months? And yet here she was, tiny little Pearl, having lost weight again.

She sighed. "I can't promise I'll stay away."

 

"What are you going to do?" Pearl needed to at least plan for whatever Rose had in store. If she'd tell. "Honestly. We've been through this before."

 

Rose raised her shoulders for a second. "I'll be there for you," she said. "In any way I can."

 

Oh. Pearl blinked. Well. That didn't... reveal much. She then frowned for a second, looking into the window, as if staring.

 

Rose wanted to reach out and touch her again, but she kept her hands firmly by her side. Kept them busy with her sandwich. Watched Pearl, like she had the very first time.

 

"I appreciate it," Pearl finally said, distracted by a flash of yellow outside before looking over at Rose. "I just don't understand why I feel so consistently lonely when I don't have that many issues."

 

Not that many issues? Rose shook her head. Pearl was one of the... more damaged people she knew.

And it was probably the reason why she was so adamant on protecting her.

"You just need to keep working on it." She looked back at Pearl, holding her eyes with her intense gaze. "Your therapy was helping before. Amethyst is helping. There's only a few more months of school left and then you'll have a total change of scenery, which will help as well. You need to be patient with yourself."

 

"But even after that. What do I do when I graduate? I have no idea. I'm too sick to work. Amethyst won't be there after we leave. You won't be there to look after me."

 

 _You don't know that._ Rose almost said it. She bit her lip. She'd already gone too far once today.

"In my experience, things have a way of working out in unforeseen ways," she said instead. "You'll find something. You'll find people. I know that's probably not very reassuring just now. But, hey - I'll help you, okay? I can help you figure out what you'll be doing after school, at least."

 

Pearl sighed. Still discontent. But ready to compromise. "Sure. I think I need some help and I can't figure this future stuff out on my own." She leaned forward, tapping the hollow of her cheek in thought. "Sure would be nice if I had like...future vision so that I wouldn't have to stress over this."

 

"Unfortunately, not knowing what's to come is a part of the human experience." Rose sighed. "I'll help. You've shown an aptitude for science - not just with me, I've talked to Miss Spearmint as well. In a few months, there will be all sorts of events and University open days. I'll give you all of the info. You might enjoy studying a science degree." Maybe she should even take Pearl to the open days - some teachers made a point of taking their students, it wouldn't be too unusual.

 

"I'd really appreciate it." Pearl forced herself to sound enthusiastic. She really didn't feel adequate enough to be accepted into any university. "Thanks."

 

"Of course, Pearl." It was Rose's responsibility as a teacher. Most teachers had their proteges in final year, students they were actively tutoring towards university. In Pearl's year, there were a few showing promise in Biology, and Rose had supported them accordingly. None of them were as... challenging as Pearl. As enticing.

She finished her sandwich and sipped her coffee.

 

Pearl carefully ate. Every movement was calculated. Every action had it's purpose. As if she were fighting a battle or even playing chess with the food on her plate. She drank a lot of fluid. Every bite seemed to have its own sense of gravity.

 

Rose went back to watching her out of lack of other things to do.

"You've been enjoying the extra tasks I gave you, haven't you?" It was almost a rhetorical question; she could tell simply from how quickly Pearl did her extra credit work for Biology, and how thorough her work was. She hoped it wasn't just herself motivating Pearl to do well, but the subject being interesting as well.

 

"As much as I've been enjoying our time together. But I don't know if I can pursue it. Everyone else just seems so sure about what they're doing and I really... don't."

 

"I can tell you with a great degree of certainty that a lot of people are entirely unsure about their lives and what they're doing, especially at your age. People don't like showing it. But I've talked to several students in your year who are in the exact same boat." Like Amethyst - who had no idea whatsoever what she was going to do with her life. "It's normal not to know what you're doing. I'll help you figure it out."

 

Pearl looked at the clock. They didn't have much time left. "I guess that puts my mind at ease. But... I'm still worried. I don't know what I'm going to be or what I'm going to do. It's scary."

 

"It is," Rose agreed. She'd had times in her life when she could barely see a future. "It's normal, trust me. And it's going to work out." Pearl had finished her soup, and their time was running short, so Rose waved over the waiter and paid for their lunch. "Do you want to go back to the school together?" They didn't do that a lot because one or both of them tended to have things they needed to do before lunch ended. Rose didn't, today, so she offered.

 

"I'll make my own way back. I've got to visit the... postal office first. Get some stamps," Pearl lied. "But I'll see you at school, alright?"

 

"Of course." They wouldn't have their next lesson together until tomorrow. Rose got her stuff together, then got up and, after a long moment of hesitation, held out her arms for a hug.

 

Pearl looked at her and then smiled. She loved hugs. She loved Rose. She loved Rose's hugs. Pearl bundled herself into Rose's arms, pressing against her chest. She smelt like a fresh meadow today. Pearl didn't want to leave.

 

Rose felt relieved when Pearl accepted her silent offer and nested into her arms. She felt so fragile, barely bigger than a stick figure wrapped in a woolen jumper. Rose rubbed her back gently, holding on for a little bit longer than she should have.

 

 

...Probably rather a lot longer than she should have. The seconds stretched. Eventually, she let go.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then," she said gently.

 

"I'll be waiting for our lesson." A wink. Pearl gathered herself and her jacket and looked out. "Thanks for that. I think I needed it."

 

"Absolutely no problem at all." Rose took her things and held open the cafe door for Pearl, letting her step out before following. She gave her another smile before heading up to the school by herself.

 

Pearl felt guilty at rushing to the public bathrooms only a few blocks away and emptying her guts into the toilet. A new routine and Rose was none the wiser. It was a shame but she had to do it. It made her eyes wet and her fragile body shake. But her hatred of the fact that food still remained in her belly was stronger. She wiped her mouth and redrew her makeup. Her war paint. And with her barriers up again, she slowly walked back to school.

 

Little did they know that they had been watched the entire time.

Hiding unnoticed in a dark corner outside the cafe, but still with a perfect view of the place where Rose and Pearl had been sitting, was Principal Marigold Diamond.

 

 

She was shaking with rage and jealousy and righteous joy at finally having discovered proof. Proof that what was going on between Quartz and her student was more than just innocent student-teacher interactions. She'd suspected it, suspected from the moment she'd seen Aurora talk to Quartz about Pearl. She'd noted every instance she'd seen them talk, noted every touch or gesture of intimacy, but nothing had yet been very fruitful.

Until now.

Oh, the way Quartz had touched her student. The way she'd leaned in to her and put her hands on Pearl's body. It was... lewd. It was so wrong. It excited Diamond.

Quartz had even paid for both of their meals. She'd hugged Pearl for far longer than necessary. (The necessary amount of hugs between them would, of course, be none at all.) Diamond thought she'd never forget the look on Pearl's face when she looked up at Quartz.

So very similar to the way Aurora looked at her.

She had her, and this time, Quartz wasn't going to get away.

 


	15. Act III - Chapter II: Inappropriate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> CW: non-explicit sexual content in this chapter.

 

The school day was near over. Marigold Diamond stood outside Rose's classroom. Eyes trailed on the clock. Seconds counting down until...

The bell rung. She stepped in without knocking. Golden eyes fixated on her target. "Quartz. My office. Now."

 

 

Rose was teaching second years, and they were eager to race out of the classroom once the bell had rung. They nearly ran into the tall form of the Principal herself, who had barged into her classroom the moment the lesson was over.

"Y...yes, Principal," Rose said, genuinely confused as to what this was about. "Right away." The Principal looked angry. What on earth could she possibly want from Rose?

 

The two trailed their way up. Aurora was there, the second she saw Rose again her eyes widened. She gave her a sorry expression, cringing. Principal Diamond pointed at the door and addressed her. One word.

"Out."

Aurora legged it.

They were utterly alone.

 

When Diamond ordered Aurora to leave, and Aurora all but ran outside, Rose got scared.

"Principal Diamond," she said, carefully controlling her voice so her fear wouldn't show. "What's this all about?"

 

Her question was ignored. "Sit down, Quartz." Diamond's voice was steely. Chilling. She pointed to a chair in front of her desk.

 

Rose obliged. What else was she supposed to do? She shot a nervous look up at the Principal. Was this - was this about Pearl?

She said nothing; waited for the Principal to tell her what this was about.

 

"You are aware of our student-teacher policies, Quartz. I know you are." She tapped her fingers, finely manicured, on the desk. She smirked, deciding to play and manipulate her words. "I've been aware of rumours but I've kept a blind eye about you. I kept telling myself, 'no, Rose isn't like that. I hired a sensible woman.' But you've disappointed me, Quartz."

 

All colour drained from her face.

 

 

So this _was_ about Pearl.

Rose fought to keep her composure.

"Principal Diamond," she said, her voice shaking only a little. "I... am not aware of having done anything wrong." What had she seen? How did she know? Rose always kept her distance at school, she was always aware who might be watching. Had Aurora told? No, surely she wouldn't.

 

"Don't act innocent with me," Diamond hissed. Looking down at Rose with disgust. "I've seen enough. I've kept an eye on you ever since that day you came into my office. You lied to me. You used my assistant for whatever this filthy little game is and I'm here to put a stop to it. You are suspended, Quartz."

 

Rose stared up at her, in shock.

"I'm - what?" No, surely she couldn't do that. "That's inappropriate! All you've told me so far are baseless accusations and threats and vague indications of what I may or may not have done. I'm not aware of any guilt on my part. You can't suspend me."

She had no idea what power she had, but surely she could get _someone_ involved who was higher up than Diamond. Her heart was beating very quickly and she forced herself to breathe normally, to keep her cool. Freaking out right now would help no one.

 

"Except I have evidence of you lying to me on my computer. I have evidence of you using my assistant. You should know better of where her loyalties lie, and frankly I'm appalled she's even considered helping you. I have eyewitness accounts of you and that student visiting that cafe and I have seen inappropriate interaction between the two of you." Diamond leaned over Rose. "Don't make me push Aurora for more information. Or _her_."

 

God, not her. Not Pearl. No matter what happened, Rose needed to protect Pearl.

"My student has mental health issues. Severe mental health issues." She took a deep breath, then another. "She needs help with them. Aurora helped because she's her sister. All I've done is look after Pearl to the best of my ability. There is nothing inappropriate about our interactions."

Internally, she was screaming. Diamond knew about her and Pearl visiting the cafe? Had she been watching them? Had she been watching them - today? It would... it would explain a lot. She nearly shuddered as she thought about what that meant. She'd touched Pearl, been close to her. Very nearly inappropriately so. Probably past the line of decency where Principal Diamond was concerned. Oh, if only she'd been more careful. More restrained. If only she hadn't assumed the cafe was safe and anonymous.

 

"You touched her. You violated my code of conduct. And you, Quartz," Diamond slammed her hands on the table and stared her down, "are out of line. Either you take a disciplinary and some things I have prepared or you're fired. You are to stay away from her." Her voice then lost only a fraction of it's edge- but it was notable. "You don't have to be like this. Filthy. You're better than this... Or at least I thought you were."

 

Rose gulped. There was no way around this now.

"I'll... I'll stay away from her." She needed to tell Aurora. She needed to find someone else to support Pearl, quickly. She couldn't imagine what it would do to Pearl.

First, however, she needed to do some damage control. She looked down, demure.

"You're right. I've been acting... inappropriately. I am better than this. It will not happen again, Principal Diamond."

 

This provoked a dark smile on those painted lips. " _Good._ " Diamond's voice was almost husky. It appeared she... was almost enjoying the compliance. "You're such a talented person. But then again. There's a lot of talented teachers out there. Replacing you wouldn't be difficult." A smirk. "Don't make me have to replace you, Quartz."

 

It was a threat, and Diamond wasn't even trying to hide it. Rose's heart felt cold.

"I won't," she said, looking up to meet her Principal's eyes. "It won't happen again." Her heart was still beating. Fearful, anxious, worried, so worried about Pearl. Rose had to comply, she couldn't risk losing her job over this. Not now, not with exams coming up and so many students depending on her. "I'll do anything you ask, Principal Diamond."

 

"Oh, that's good," Diamond purred. "That's very good." She then eyed her desk, knowing she still had a few bottles of white wine. They'd been a gift. She then looked back at Rose. "You may leave. I'll be sending you a letter of formal disciplinary action and the other things, too. Just some courses and training on appropriate conduct."

 

"Y...yes, Principal Diamond." Rose probably would have agreed to anything by this point. She only wanted to leave, to run away from that menacing tone. She'd barely realised before now just how _terrifying_ Diamond was. Aurora had been right to warn her. Rose had been so, so wrong to dismiss her warning.

She got up as soon as she was allowed to leave and practically ran out of the room.

 

Aurora caught her running out. "Rose!" She yelped, using her name. Concern over her features. "Rose, are you okay? I'm... sorry. I let her know things she interrogated me."

 

Rose turned when she heard Aurora calling her.

"Aurora," she said. She was shaking. "Aurora, she saw me and Pearl. She's... she thinks we're having inappropriate relations. We're not, we're not, I swear -" She was breathing fast and tried to calm down. "Aurora, she's forbidden me from talking to her again. I have to stay away from her. I -" She tried to breathe. "I need to go home," she said, her voice shaking. "I'm sorry, Aurora, you tried to warn me and I didn't listen. I'm sorry. You need to look after her, okay? You need to. I can't anymore."

 

Aurora's face fell. "Please breathe. It'll be okay. She's your student, you can't just… not." She then pinched the bridge of her nose. "Go home. Calm down. Have some tea and recover. Here. You have my number, right?"

 

"I... I don't know. I have hers." Rose had never thought to ask Aurora's. She took out her phone. "It'd be good to have yours, too. I'm... I'm sorry. I should go home."

 

"Please take care of yourself. I'm gonna go talk to her. I'll do some damage control. I'm used to her taking things out on me." She said, jotting the number down. "I don't mind. She's scary though. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

 

Rose nodded, shakily. She felt so, so bad for burdening this on Aurora. She said she was used to Diamond taking things out on her... Rose felt so guilty.

"I'm sorry, Aurora," she said again. "I'll see you tomorrow." She made a mental note to check in with Aurora, just to see if she was okay.

 

\--

 

Aurora timidly made her way to Marigold's office. She knocked on the door. "Principal Diamond?"

 

Diamond was in quite a state. Her exchange with Rose had her worked up to no end, and when she left, Diamond immediately grabbed one of the wine bottles. She drank straight from the bottle and by the time Aurora returned, it was empty.

She turned to her assistant, fire in her eyes. "Aurora," she breathed. "I'm... afraid I won't be able to make it home by myself today." God, Aurora looked ravishing. Diamond craved nothing more than to touch her.

 

Aurora knew this already. She spied the bottle on the table, hissing under her breath. "For heaven's sakes. Be more discreet. What did you do to her?"

 

Diamond was quite sure nobody would interrupt them by this point, so she crossed the room and buried one of her hands in Aurora's hair. Not pulling, but holding her in place. She brought her face dangerously close to Aurora's.

"It doesn't matter," she said, "drive me home. Now." God she needed Aurora.

 

Aurora squealed. Her knees buckled under that grip and she glanced up, nodding with her big, round eyes. "Yes, Principal Diamond." She could smell the wine. The vile pang of it only served to make her excited. Back to the routine she knew all too well.

 

Diamond let go of her and reached to grab another bottle from their hiding place. Opened it and took a swig. "Let's go." The bottle vanished in her large handbag. She left it to Aurora to lock the rooms, waiting impatiently.

 

The blonde complied, getting her things and locking up. "Do you have anything planned for tonight?" She tried to keep it casual. Her stomach knotted as thoughts of Rose returned. Just how much had Marigold hurt her?

 

Diamond's lips twitched up into a smile. "Not doing anything. Just you." She was not drunk enough to forget to keep her voice down. Nobody would hear. "Hurry."

 

The trip to her home was standard. Aurora nervously pulled up the driveway before pausing in the car. She looked down, troubled. "Mari. I'm... I'm scared of you."

 

Diamond's expression darkened.

Scared? _Scared?_

She reached into her bag and took another gulp of the wine. She then controlled herself and reached out. Touched Aurora's cheek.

"Rori." Her voice uncharacteristically soft. "I am not going to hurt you."

 

Aurora nearly melted into it. But the knot in her stomach kept her from turning into butter. "You... You hurt her." Not obeying was hard. Having to keep her head down and complying was her default.

 

Quartz. That's what this was about. Diamond withdrew her hand.

"Good," she said, hard. "Maybe she'll learn something. She has... inappropriate relationships with students. It's not the first time, either. And now it's your sister. You should be glad. It can't be good for her to allow Quartz to continue."

 

Aurora swallowed. Gritting her teeth. No. She needed to comply. "Alright. But... No. I'm sorry for letting myself talk to you like this. It's out of line for me. Let's get you home."

 

A smile. Almost cruel. Diamond reached out, patted Aurora's cheek lightly. "Good girl." She then got out of the car. Swayed a little, but stayed upright. She took another swig out of the bottle and fumbled with her keys.

 

"May I help you with that?" Aurora asked, holding herself together. Unable to meet Marigold's catlike eyes.

 

She didn't answer, just held out her hand holding the keys to Aurora. She didn't like admitting she needed help, even in this state.

Instead, she busied herself with trying to remember how much alcohol she had at home. Wondering if it was enough.

 

Aurora opened the door and stood to the side. She wouldn't go in first. She had to show some respect.

 

Diamond stumbled past her and slammed her things down. She kept a hold of the bottle.

"Aurora. Come here." Her voice faint, but impatient.

 

Aurora nodded and walked in. Gently closing the door and taking off her shoes. "Do you want me to do something, Mari?"

 

Aurora was so beautiful. Marigold set down her bottle and reached for her. Her skin soft under her fingers.

"Don't worry about Quartz. I was only threatening a little. You know I can't tolerate misdemeanour in my school. And you know she's out of line."

 

"But she helped Pearl when she ran away to hers..." Aurora's eyes widened. Oh. She didn't mean to reveal that. Oh no.

 

Diamond's eyes narrowed. She let go of Aurora.

"She. Did. WHAT?" Her voice raised, her eyes flashing. "Aurora. You have to tell me everything you know. Now."

 

"Pearl stayed... overnight at hers. I found her there. Drunk. She didn't attend school that day." Aurora closed her eyes and prayed for Rose to forgive her.

 

"You need to tell me everything, Aurora," Diamond said, impatiently. "Everything. Why was she at Quartz's in the first place? What did they do? Did they do something... indecent?" The fire in her gut flared up. She stepped closer to Aurora.

 

She flushed. Pearl wouldn't... but then again,... she'd heard of things in her year. She gulped. "No. That's between her and Pearl."

 

"It concerns me, too. A teacher in my school is acting inappropriately with a student and I need to know. Every. Detail." Her hands closed around Aurora's wrist and she backed her into a wall.

 

She couldn't tug away. She simply moved with Marigold - like a dance with Diamond at the lead. "No! I won't! I can't! For Pearl!"

 

Diamond brought her hands together so she could keep both of Aurora's wrists trapped with one of hers. Her other hand moved up, coming to rest around Aurora's throat loosely. Threatening. "You're going to tell me."

 

She felt the touch and cringed, whining. "Please, no. Please don't do this. I can't - I'm not... Mari. Marigold. No."

 

Diamond held Aurora's hands up over her head and put only a little pressure on her throat, fingertips lightly digging into soft skin. "You're going to tell me," she repeated, growling, ignoring Aurora's pleas to stop.

 

She made loud whimpers with every movement. "She's... sexually active. Lots of rumours… about boys."

 

"Pearl? Or Quartz?" Diamond loosened her grip on Aurora's neck, but kept a tight hold of her wrists. She assumed Aurora was referring to Pearl, but there was no way to know for sure.

She felt hot, holding Aurora like this.

 

Aurora could feel herself twitch. She pressed into the wall. "Pearl, of course. It's a borderline thing. She got into a lot of trouble with the more popular girls for sleeping around with local guys. It was the reason we had a graffiti problem a year or two ago."

 

"I see." Diamond let go of Aurora's neck. She loved seeing Aurora in this position, though, so she kept her wrists where they were.

"Is there not a chance she would be... interested... in our dear Miss Quartz, though? You know it's happened before. And not just once. She has... that effect on vulnerable students."

 

"I don't know." Aurora bit her lip. She'd suspected it. She couldn't instill this conspiracy any further. She moaned into the grip.

 

"Has she not told you? They looked... close. Earlier." Diamond's breath came faster at Aurora's moan. "In the cafe. They were. She was. Touching her. Hugging her." Her hand snaked up to touch Aurora's cheeks, cupping her face, much more gently now. Needing.

 

"You mean, touching you... like this?" She carefully traced her fingers over Marigold's chest. Humming a little before looking up at her. Into her eyes. "Because that would be very suspect."

 

"No... more like..." Marigold let go of Aurora's face, curling her arm around Aurora's waist. "Like this." She pulled Aurora close so her body was flush against hers. Finally let go of her wrists to cup Aurora's face, leaning in to breathe a quick kiss on her lips.

 

Aurora gasped and looked needily at Marigold. "Please kiss me." She had to distract. Marigold couldn't ask questions if her mouth was occupied.

 

Marigold obliged, capturing Aurora's lips with her own and needily moaning into the kiss. Aurora's body felt so good against hers despite both of them still wearing clothes, which to Marigold was a sudden and deep flaw about the situation.

"Let's go to the bedroom," she murmured against Aurora's lips.

 

"Do you really want to do it?" she asked. "You're... the least sober I've seen you in a while."

 

"You have no idea." Aurora really, really didn't. "I have never wanted you more. The Quartz thing has been driving me wild. I - I need you. Aurora. Please." She kissed her again, gently, persuasive.

 

Aurora gasped and melted right into that touch. "Tell me, then. Tell me how much you want me and what you want to do to me."

 

Marigold let go of Aurora's lips and nuzzled her neck instead. "Need you," she gasped, "want you... want you to please me. Now. Rori. Please."

 

"Yes," Aurora hummed, giving pleasured little pants at every hot breath she felt on her neck. "Touch my hair. Touch me. Take me there."

 

Marigold obliged. Running her fingers through Rori's hair, trailing them down her neck to unbutton the first few buttons of her blouse. Then she stopped and took Aurora quite literally by scooping her up in her arms and carrying her to the bedroom. She was strong and Aurora was tiny and she'd done this before so she knew it'd work. She hadn't counted on her own drunkenness; she swayed, caught herself. It was going to be okay, she could do this.

 

Aurora clung onto her, feeling and touching gently. As much as she was allowed. An excitement pooled into her lower belly. She wanted this. She wanted to see her Diamond pleased. Her Diamond. Marigold did this with with her and it was special.

Or at least she hoped.

Aurora closed her eyes.

 

They made it to the bedroom and Marigold gently set Aurora down. She then remembered something and froze.

"I... need to get something. Stay here," she instructed Aurora, then made her way on shaky legs to retrieve her open wine bottle from before.

 

Aurora frowned and watched her go. Awkwardly crossing her legs as she waited. She already missed that touch. That smell.

 

Marigold was back a few minutes later, holding her bottle which was already considerably more empty than it had been before. She set it down carefully and turned her attention back to Aurora.

"Help me undress." She was only slightly slurring her words. She came towards Aurora and reached for her.

 

Aurora looked at her with hunger and pity. She sat up and stood, at first stiffly removing Marigold's shirt. "Thank you for letting me see you."

 

"Mmmm." Marigold reached, touched Aurora. "I want to see you. You're... beautiful. Aurora." Her fingers were shaking, each button of Aurora's blouse a challenge.

 

Aurora was faster. Pulling and gently tugging layers off. Soon Mari was simply clad in her bra. "I like you like this." She then shut her mouth. Too much. Too romantic. This wasn't for her. She wasn't allowed.

 

Mari gave a low, frustrated whine at Aurora's stubborn blouse. "Take this off," she ordered, impatiently. Choosing not to react to Aurora's comment. She let go of Aurora and reached for her bottle again, taking another swig.

 

Aurora watched as she stripped. Slowly. Elegantly. Teasing. This was the only thing she had power over.

 

Marigold's eyes were fixed on her as she drank. Aurora was so beautiful.

The bottle was empty. She would have to get more. But not now.

"Aurora," she whispered. Took Aurora's hand and pulled her close. "For you," she said.

 

[...]

 

As soon as the afterglow was starting to fade, Marigold sat up abruptly. Avoided Aurora's eyes as she grabbed the open bottle nearly and drank, drank as if she was going to die of thirst if she didn't finish this bottle, right now.

 

Aurora sat up. Alarmed by the urgency. She counted the bottles she'd seen through the day. "That's unusual." She finally felt the courage in her afterglow to comment. "Mari. Do you... could we please talk. I'm worried about you I mean usually I know you do… this. You drink a lot. But... is something going on? Did I do something?"

 

The empty bottle fell to the ground, a few droplets spilling onto the carpet.

Marigold turned. The room was spinning; the only fixed point was Aurora.

Her beautiful Aurora.

To her shame, she felt tears in her eyes. She looked away, hid from Aurora. Fought to find words. Found nothing.

Tried again, with a little bit more success this time.

"I don't. Want you to leave."

She hid her face in her hands. So shameful. Disgusting. Horrifying. Oh, how she hated herself. She fumbled, blindly, reached for the other bottle.

 

She immediately got up. In her complete nudity. The lamp directly behind her caused her skin to almost glow golden. She briskly made it closer and gently reached up. But didn't touch. "Please, Mari. I... I won't leave until you tell me to. We can pace you so you stay drunk and I know you like me when you're not sober. It's okay. I understand. But you're... you're going to hurt yourself like this."

 

"I don't care." As much as Marigold liked to torment others when she was sober, she tormented herself when she was drunk. As well as when she was sober. There was never a time when she wasn't tormenting herself. "I deserve it."

 

This lit a spark in her. Aurora didn't know how it happened. How she dared to touch without consent, let alone roughly grab that arm to stop it. "Please! Please stop! I'll... I'll do anything. I'll tell you everything I know about Rose Quartz! Just don't... don't hurt yourself." Her eyes began to stream as she broke down. "Marigold, for fuck's sakes! I... I love you too much to look at this!"

 

Marigold looked at Aurora. Then pulled away from her touch.

Quartz. She was the one who started all this. Diamond felt hatred boil over. She set down the bottle without having opened it and stood up. Everything was spinning. She raised a hand. Aurora wasn't to touch her without permission.

"Then don't look."

 

 

She was being cruel. Again. She knew it. Maybe, this time, Aurora would leave for good.

 

"Fine. Fine!" Aurora gritted teeth. Angry and upset and indignant. "If you get to hurt yourself, I do too." She threateningly drew her hands so that her manicured nails pointed at her delicate skin. "I'll do it."

 

Diamond turned to face Aurora.

"What do you think you're doing?" she hissed. "I didn't give you permission. I didn't give you permission for any of this. You... stop. Right now. Stop."

 

"I'll hurt myself. Somewhere you'll see. You can tell me to go home but you'll have to look at it. And you think you hate yourself now?" Aurora flashed her a serious look. "So put it down and talk to me. You can drink the whole thing. I won't complain. Just please pace yourself. Have water. At least let me love you enough to take care of you."

 

"No!" Why was Aurora doing this? Why would she? "That's not what you're for! Stop it! Stop! I order you to stop! You can't love me. Stop loving me. Stop it, stop!" Marigold had tears in her eyes again. She desperately grabbed her bottle again.

 

Aurora paused and then closed her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm acting out of order. I'll. I'll go sit down and let you drink. But please..." She gave a terrified last look before closing her eyes and blinding herself to Marigold's self abuse. "No more after this."

 

She didn't reply to Aurora. She opened the bottle and drank and drank.

If she drank enough, maybe she wouldn't have to remember in the morning.

By the time the bottle was empty, her hands were shaking so much that she couldn't set it down. It dropped to the ground like the other one. By the time the bottle was empty, Marigold's head was spinning and her thoughts were all distorted.

She tripped over to Aurora again. Reached out and pulled her over like she was nothing more than a doll.

Her pretty doll. Her beautiful Aurora.

She held Aurora close, breathed in the scent of her hair. Just held her. Tried to convey without words all the things she was feeling. She was still not drunk enough to say it, to actually be open about it.

 

The stuff smelt rancid. Aurora almost felt ill but she couldn't help but respond to every touch. "I adore you. No matter what you tell me. Please. Tell me what's going on. Why do you need to enjoy me drunk?" She knew the answer.

 

Marigold knew what Aurora was looking for. She knew what she wanted her to say.

But she couldn't.

"Please don't." She sounded exhausted. There was not enough alcohol in the world to get her to open up.

 

"Let's sleep, Marigold. You look dead." Aurora whimpered, craving the touch of her entire body again. Wanting to be spooned and hugged and to pretend this was some kind of healthy relationship.

 

Marigold took a moment to process this.

"Okay." She lay down and took Aurora into her arms. Her fragile little doll.

She hoped Aurora would stay. Although she couldn't imagine her reaction if she woke up sober and Aurora was still there.

She closed her eyes. She was asleep in seconds.

 

Aurora couldn't rest. It was for the best- she didn't like sleeping, anyway. She would treasure these hours in her volatile lover's arms, wait until the sun rose again and leave her surrounded with a freshly cooked breakfast, water, bucket, newspapers and towels. By the time morning came around, the only communication she'd left Marigold was a little note with 'text me if you need the day off. Rori.'

 

–

 

Rose managed to get home before breaking down, but only barely.

A long hour was spent sobbing into her pillow (and, eventually, Lion's fur) before she got out her phone and texted Will.

He was over half an hour later. He brought ice cream and hugged her for longer than she'd hugged Pearl earlier that day. It was nice.

"You're a mess. Want to talk about it?"

So she told him. Told him everything from the very beginning, from her student who she'd initially just wanted to care for because she had an eating disorder and mental issues and family problems. Told him how she found herself getting closer to Pearl, even to the point of having feelings for her. Told him about what she did with Pearl, and told him about Diamond discovering them.

"I got carried away, Will," she said, "I should have been sensible and stayed away, but I didn't. And now she's going to pay the price. Will - Diamond said something about rumours, and she's not wrong. This happened before and I... I should know better by now."

He just listened, held her, ran his hands through her hair.

"And the worst part is that she's right. Diamond. About everything. I do have feelings for her, and I've been acting inappropriately and I've been leading her on. And she knows, Pearl knows, and I can't believe... I'm a horrible person, Will. Why do you even hang out with me anymore?"

"Shhh," he whispered and kissed her forehead. "You're not. You can't control who you have feelings for. You're not a horrible person, Rose. It'll all work out."

She thought of what she'd told Pearl earlier. Things had a way of working out in unforeseen ways.

Never in a million years had she foreseen this - and all the signs had been there. Aurora had even warned her months ago, for God's sakes, and Rose had still carried on, confident that she could hide.

And she had absolutely no idea how this could possibly work out.

Will stayed well into the evening and only left when Rose went to sleep. She felt bad for telling him to leave even though he offered to stay, but really, the only person she wanted to be with was Pearl.

She felt bad for that too. He told her it was okay. He said he understood. Rose started crying again after he left, now confronted with the reality that the next day, she would have to tell Pearl that she couldn't see her anymore.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can read the smutty insert [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7670068/chapters/17960908)! Originally, the entire Marigold/Aurora scene was supposed to be an insert, but looking back at it it was too important for the plot to just take it out completely, so here we are.


	16. Act III - Chapter III: Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".

 

Pearl wandered into the classroom. She'd been looking forward to seeing Rose again. That hug having relit something in her. A new hope. It was possible. She'd been touched with little prompt.

 

Rose dreaded the moment she'd see her.

 

 

And Pearl was early, too. She walked into the classroom with a smile on her face and Rose's heart broke seeing her.

She smiled. "Good morning, Pearl." She'd always been good at hiding her feelings when she needed to.

 

"How are you today, Miss? I did the work, could we maybe talk about it after the lesson or at lunch?"

 

At lunch? Yesterday, Rose wouldn't even have hesitated. Now, it made her heart hurt.

"After the lesson," she said, keeping her voice level. "Pearl - I'm afraid I have bad news."

 

"Oh." Pearl blinked. Sensing a tension in the air. Rose looked... more distant. "Is everything okay?"

 

No. "Yes." At some point around half past three this morning, Rose had decided to keep the truth from Pearl. "It's just getting to that point in the year where I'm really busy with work. It's getting hard to keep up, so I'm afraid I can't do our weekly lunches anymore."

 

Oh. Pearl frowned, clearly upset. "But I..." Well. It would be less pressure to eat. Still! No! She couldn't... just stop.

 

Rose looked away. "I'm... really, really sorry, Pearl." She didn't want to meet Pearl's eyes. She didn't want to see how upset her student was. She didn't want to witness Pearl's heart breaking because of her.

And once again she just thought of how she did not see a way out of this... at all.

 

"Did you... find out?" Rose was upset with Pearl. Did she know she vomited everything she'd bought? Was she a lost cause to Rose? Pearl bit her lip. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to..."

 

Rose looked up to meet Pearl's eyes. She instantly regretted it.

"Find out? Didn't mean... what? Pearl..." Oh, god, how she longed to reach out to touch Pearl. But she couldn't, not anymore. Never again.

 

Pearl bit her lip. No. She was being paranoid. Rose couldn't have found out about her diet plans. Not yet. "Nothing. Look, I'd... better sit down."

 

Rose knew Pearl was lying, and it was the worst feeling ever.

Because she also knew that under any other circumstances, she would have kept pressing Pearl for answers, and Pearl would have opened up like she always did, and Rose would have done all she could to help.

She also knew that Pearl was close enough to her by now to come to predict this sort of behaviour.

Rose looked down, fussed with her materials for the upcoming lesson, did not meet Pearl's eyes. "Okay. I'll see you after class to discuss that work you did."

 

Pearl balled her fist. No! Rose was supposed to care. Rose was the only one that ever cared. And Amy, but Amy wasn't _her_. Pearl looked at Rose, opening her mouth and then turning around. She shamefully walked to her seat. Fine. Fine. She could be alone. She didn't need anyone.

 

Rose couldn't bring herself to look up at Pearl, and didn't until the rest of the class started streaming into the room. She focussed on the other students, all but ignoring Pearl. She had to, she reminded herself. The Principal's words were still very, very clear in her memory. She had to.

She breathed a small sigh of relief when Amethyst stormed into the room, only just in time for the lesson to start, and sat down next to Pearl. At least Pearl would have her friend by her side.

 

Pearl bumped at Amethyst. "Something's up. I feel like a wreck. Wanna skive after lesson? I found the weed."

 

Amethyst's face broke into a grin at her words. "You found it? That's so cool! Sure. We can go back to mine if you want?" After the first time, Amethyst had been waiting for an opportunity to invite Pearl round again. She'd even made a valiant (yet still mostly unsuccessful) effort to tidy her room.

 

"They're used to me signing out a lot. We'll just pretend to go out and hope no one notices." Pearl discreetly showed off the rest of the baggie from her pocket. "I got my papers. We'll roll properly."

 

Amy grinned. "Perfect." She then turned a bit more serious again, nudging Pearl lightly. "You ok? You said something was up."

 

"Just a little dizzy. And upset at our Lord and Quartizine saviour herself. I'll tell you later."

 

Upset at Miss Quartz? Jeez. What had happened? Amethyst shook her head lightly. "Okay, fine. Wow. Man, I bet you're glad you found that weed." She'd be able to distract Pearl when high.

 

"Oh, goodness, fuck yes," Pearl replied under her breath. "I'm tired of being here already."

 

Amethyst hummed her agreement. Miss Quartz had started the lesson now, though, so she sat up and actually paid attention - it was one of those subjects where she did, simply because it was taught well enough to hold her attention for longer than five minutes.

The lesson crept by agonisingly slow, and Amethyst kept glancing at Pearl during it.

 

Pearl looked completely uncomfortable the whole lesson. By the time the last ten minutes rolled around, she poked at Amy. "I need to discuss some work with her. Can you wait for me outside?"

 

"Sure." Amethyst gathered her stuff together and went outside with the others when the bell rang.

Rose was dreading the end of the lesson, and busied herself with her materials while everyone went outside. Pearl stayed behind, and finally, Rose allowed herself to look up at her student.

"Okay, Pearl, let's see it, then." Her smile felt sad; she hoped Pearl wouldn't notice.

 

Pearl blushed. Her worries washed out by Rose's attention. "Here you go, miss."

 

Rose took Pearl's work, careful to avoid touching Pearl's hand - just like she nearly always made sure she did otherwise. She didn't doubt Pearl would notice the loss of those small, seemingly insignificant moments of intimacy. Rose already missed them.

"Thank you." She skimmed over what Pearl had written. Excellent, as always. "It looks good. I'll read it at home and give you full feedback next time, okay?"

 

Pearl looked at Rose. She looked at her hand. Something felt remotely off. She felt... sober. "Miss. Did... I do something?"

 

Rose looked up at Pearl's words.

Had she really expected her to just take it and do nothing? How could she expect Pearl to be okay - when Rose herself was not, and this relationship was infinitely more important to Pearl than it was to Rose?

She let out a sigh. "Pearl, I'm... I'm so sorry about our lunches. Please believe me when I tell you that it's nothing you did or said or... did wrong, somehow. It's just... life getting in the way." Or, more accurately, a certain Principal of theirs getting in the way.

 

"But you're..." Pearl felt rejected. Pushed away. Neglected. She couldn't finish her sentence. She looked away. Ashamed.

 

It hurt.

And if it hurt Rose this much, she couldn't even begin to imagine how it felt for Pearl.

"I know," she said, as gently as she dared. "Pearl, I'm sorry."

She wanted to tell Pearl that she loved her. She wanted to tell Pearl that she was being blackmailed into staying away from her. She wanted to touch Pearl, to hug Pearl, and she wanted everything to be okay. But it wasn't.

 

"We don't have many lessons left until the holidays," Pearl stated. Simply. Half a year of this left. Her mind hurt. She found herself trying to calculate the days left before she could leave and not return to this pain.

 

"Yeah." Not that the holidays would change anything. Rose neatly tucked Pearl's homework into her bag.

Then drew a deep breath, preparing herself for having to hurt Pearl once more.

"Since it's the holidays so soon, I don't think I'll be giving you extra work for the rest of the year. Give you a chance to relax and prepare for your other exams. Is that okay?" It wasn't okay, she knew it wasn't, but Principal Diamond had been very clear. She was to stop giving special attention to Pearl. Which included this.

 

 

Pearl's jaw dropped. She'd planned to distract herself with the extension work. It was one of the things she'd relied on. "Oh. Okay."

 

Rose's stomach tied itself into a knot. She didn't even know if she'd be able to give Pearl extra work again... ever. She felt herself viciously hating Diamond, not for doing this to her, but for doing this to Pearl.

"Good luck with your exams," she said, giving a small smile to Pearl.

 

"See you, Miss," Pearl replied, and carefully walked out. She couldn't look back. She found Amethyst and gave her a look. "Your place. Now."

 

Just like Pearl couldn't look back at her, Rose couldn't watch Pearl leave. Instead, she took out her phone and texted Will again.

Amethyst was waiting for Pearl outside. She could tell something was badly wrong, so she wrapped one of her arms around Pearl as they walked. "Yeah, let's go have some fun," she said. "Wanna talk about it?"

 

"No. I don't want to go back. Do you think I could skive biology until the half term?" Pearl asked, desperate.

 

"Huh. It's only a few more weeks. I dunno. You don't really participate in class anyway. You can try." Excessive skiving wasn't recommended - Amy knew from her own experience. "What the hell did she do to you?"

 

"She's stopped everything. I needed my extension work. It's like... she wants to stay away from me."

 

"Huh. That's weird. She loves you." Amethyst had witnessed Pearl and Miss Quartz interact more than enough times to know for sure Quartz liked Pearl more than the average student. "Ya think Diamond's on her case 'cause of you?"

 

"Why would she care about me? I'm just some student. She's a principal. She has better things to do."

 

"I dunno. Her secretary is your sister? Just throwing ideas out there, ya know. Quartz wouldn't just stop liking you from one moment to the next." Amy linked arms with Pearl as they stepped out of the school.

 

"What if she did?" Pearl asked. "What if I did something?"

 

Amy shrugged. "You mean, like, what if something you did or said pissed her off so much that she hates you forever now?" She saw Pearl's expression and grimaced. "Okay. Not helping. Sorry."

 

Pearl’s face fell. "Yes. Something like that."

 

Amy poked Pearl in the ribs. "You can't seriously be thinking that. She loves you. She's been looking after you for months after you fucking puked on her carpet. There's gotta be a good reason for this and it's probably not your fault."

 

Pearl couldn't help but wince and giggle. "I guess. I'll try to be optimistic but... I won't go to her lessons until January. That'll teach her."

 

"Heh. Sure." It wasn't far from the school to Amethyst's; maybe only five more minutes. "I tried to tidy my room a bit. Wasn't very successful, though. Sorry about that."

  
"I don't care. Or. Well. I'll try not to. I just want to chill out." The two began to make their way out. Soon walking far past the school gates.

 

\--

 

Rose had another two lessons before her free period. She made her way to the Principal's office with trepidation, hoping to catch Aurora alone. She hadn't managed to do that the past three times, so she wasn't hoping for much luck today.

She had her excuse ready in case Diamond was there. She knocked on the door lightly, this time waiting for a response before entering.

 

"You can come in," came Aurora's lazy reply. She was leafing through the agony aunt section of a magazine. "Principal Diamond isn't here today- Oh! Rose! Come in, close the door."

 

"She's - not here?" Rose breathed a sigh of relief, closing the door hastily. "Aurora, it's so good to catch you alone. I need to talk to you."

 

"Yes, it seems we're in both quite the hot water. I've already received my end of it, trust me." If anything, some sores dappled around her skin were evidence enough. She’d made sure to hide them well. "But, you. You're going to be careful now, right? And listen me? You know I’m closer to Principal Diamond than just about anyone.”

 

"You tried to warn me," Rose said. "I didn't listen. And that was wrong, and everything, but - but now Pearl's the one who's paying the price. Aurora, do you even know how much our relationship means to her? Even the small things, the lunches on a Wednesday, the extra work I give her. Nothing about it is inappropriate, I'm only looking after her. Making sure she's occupied with her work, making sure she eats when we're at lunch. And now I've had to take that away from her. Can you even imagine how much it's messing her up?"

 

"It's not up to me. I was here to safeguard her and I tolerated your relationship with her. But you don't know how Diamond can get. The second she suspects anything, she's like a bloodhound. A shark. And I -" Aurora realised she was automatically guarding her neck. It all had little purple bruises where it had been so roughly held down. "I tried to protect both of you. Now you... need to care about yourself. Quartz. Make you a priority."

 

 

Rose nodded, thinking.

"Aurora," she then said. "I know it's... it's not my place. But if she's been... doing things to you." It was no secret that Aurora drove the Principal home a lot of the time. It was quite possible that there was more going on than it seemed. "You need to be careful, too," Rose said. "It worries me how she's treating you."

 

Aurpra only met Rose with an all too knowing smile. "Oh, she's not doing anything I can’t tolerate. Don't get me wrong, she terrifies me and she hurts me. But... I accept it because I care about her and I can take it. And I'd rather it be me than you or any of the students."

 

Rose frowned.

"This isn't right, Aurora," she said. "You shouldn't need to take it, not for me or the students or anyone. She's hurting you. You could report her, you know." The school might be better off without Principal Diamond.

 

"She's..." Aurora struggled to form words. "I'm here for her. And I can take it and I'm happy to. She isn't a monster. She just needs help."

 

Rose shook her head. "She's using you, Aurora. I just - I don't want to see you get hurt." She then sighed. "I'm sorry, it's not really my place, is it? It's hard not to care about people. Just... please look after Pearl. I know I'm probably asking too much, since this is entirely my fault. But she needs all the support she can get just now."

 

"I'm planning to spend the holidays away from home. I'll be there for a week or so but I'm visiting elsewhere. She'll have my number though. Should I get someone to monitor her?"

 

"If you can," Rose said, "that would be... much appreciated." She didn't know who that would be. Pearl's parents? They'd demonstrated their incompetence before. Pearl's other sister? Rose still vividly remembered the last time Blue had visited. Some professional she didn't know?

 

"I have no idea how,” Aurora said. “It'll be intrusive. But... you've seen her. She's not been this skinny since... the incident."

 

Rose nodded. "She tried to convince me that she wasn't when I asked about it. But I've seen her every day for months. It's one of the reasons why I really... don't want to cancel our weekly lunches." If she thought about it, there were probably plenty of opportunities for Pearl to throw up the food again after their lunches. Maybe she had been. Rose didn't want to think about it.

 

"She knows she's got to stay above eight stone,” Aurora said. “That's when we have to take her in. But... we haven't measured her ourselves for a month, I don't think. Maybe longer."

 

Take her in. Rose swallowed. "Please do what you can," she said, her voice low. "I'd help but..." She didn't need to finish her sentence. She got up. "I'm sorry for making such a huge mess of things," she said. "And I'm so, so sorry Diamond is taking this out on you. You don't deserve it, Aurora."

 

"Nonsense. I'm here for a lot of things. I'm her personal assistant and everything we do is of an utmost professional nature." Aurora nearly laughed at herself but kept her face steady. "You take care of you and I'll try to take care of mine."

 

Rose swallowed. "Okay. See you around, Aurora." And with that, she left, hoping that somehow, this would be okay.

 

"Happy holidays." Aurora waved, getting back to her work. It would be alright... Wouldn't it?


	17. Act III - Chapter IV: Strong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We apologise for the short chapter this week.  
> Next week's is going to be extra long though! You're in for a treat :)
> 
> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> Content warning for this chapter: body image (in the illustrations).

Amethyst and Pearl had made it to Amethyst's home. Amy's parents weren't home, so Amy had invited Pearl into the rather spacious living room.

"So, wanna get this party started?" Her mum would highly disapprove of them smoking in the living room, but Amethyst was way past caring. She just wanted to get high with Pearl again.

 

"Yeah. Got baccy?" Pearl put down her bag and collected her smoking paraphernalia from it. "Got some king skins. We'll do this correct."

 

Amethyst shrugged. "You know I don't roll. You got some stuff, though, don't you?"

 

"Yeah. Running low, though. So we'll have to load them well." Pearl began to grind the herb and remaining tobacco. "Here. You do this and I'll make a roach. They're not very good, though."

 

"Eh, I don't mind. We wanna get high, don't we?" Amy did as she was instructed and grinned at Pearl. "Hurry up, man."

 

Pearl nodded and ripped a bus ticket. The card making for a decent roach. She rolled it up and tumbled it to the bottom of the paper. "Pour it in."

 

Amy did as she was asked. "Oh man, that's a lot of weed," she said. "This is great." She leaned her head against Pearl's shoulder, watching her roll.

 

Pearl eased into Amethyst's touches. Needing attention. "Nearly done."

 

The way Pearl leaned in to her made Amethyst think that this was long overdue and very much necessary. She put her arms around Pearl.

 

Pearl lit up, happily puffing at it grew a nice cherry. After a few drags, she passed. "There. I hope it's alright."

 

Amy took the joint and had a drag. It was good. "Amazing," she said, taking another drag. "I needed this. How ya feelin'?"

 

"Better already. It's just so stupid! I can't believe I ever thought I had a remote chance." Pearl sighed. "She led me on. And I fell for it."

 

"Huh." The weed was already kicking in. "Fuck her," Amy said. "Just cuddle with me instead." She passed the joint back to Pearl.

 

 

"Yes. I think I shall." She took a drag and ashed, before turning to hug and snuggle into Amethyst. Sitting had begun to feel uncomfortable when she'd hit eight stone. But it was a part of her trophy for her discipline. Her body. Bones felt like they smashed against skin every time she moved.

 

Amy grinned and curled her arms around Pearl. Her friend was so skinny she felt like nothing at all. Maybe Amethyst had to feed her up a bit.

Well, with a bit of luck, the weed would help her out with that in a little while. She snuggled into Pearl.

 

Pearl smiled at the warmth. It felt like she didn't receive it enough these days. Everything was perpetually freezing. "That's so nice."

 

Amethyst hummed in agreement. She snagged the joint from Pearl and had another drag. "It's nearly done," she said, sounding a little disappointed. But then, it had probably already been plenty to get high on.

 

"Feel free to kill it." She whispered into Amethyst's hair, nuzzling into it. "You smell so nice."

 

Amethyst stubbed it out on the coffee table. Her mum would get so mad. She grinned painfully at the thought and snuggled Pearl close.

"Mmm. So do you." She kissed Pearl's neck.

 

She purred at the touch. Now all of a sudden too warm. She felt her cheeks flush. "Could we take this to your room? I kind of want to strip."

 

"O-oh!" Amy had not expected that. But she grinned at the prospect. "Sure thing," she said. "C'mon, let's go." She held on to Pearl's arm as they made their way to Amethyst's room. Amy closed the door behind her.

"Let's see it, then," she said, still grinning.

 

"What, me?" That smile was borderline sultry. Pearl shrugged off a sweater and neatly folded it. Agonisingly slow.

 

"Yeah you. Quit being such a goddamn tease." Amy sat on the floor, crossing her legs and looking up at Pearl.

 

Pearl shimmied out of her pants with ease. There wasn't much holding them up, anyway. "Mm. Much better already."

 

Amethyst chuckled. She liked watching Pearl strip. "Any particular reason you're stripping for me?" she dared to ask.

 

"I'm high. I'm ready to be appreciated. By you," Pearl replied. Now clad in her panties and bra.

 

"Huh. That can be arranged." Pearl was in her underwear, and Amethyst got up. "Can I-?" she asked timidly, reaching out, not quite touching, waiting for Pearl's permission.

 

"Mm. Please do." She beckoned Amy closer, touching her hair in return.

 

Amy didn't need another invitation. Sure enough a moment later, her hands were roaming Pearl's body. She couldn't help noticing how big her hands looked in comparison to Pearl's skinny figure.

 

 

"Man, you're so thin," she said. "I'ma have to feed you up. What are you, like, ninety percent ribs or somethin'? You hungry? I got some food downstairs if you want."

 

Pearl appreciated the comments on her thinness. It was what she craved. "Thanks. I'm planning to lose a little more though."

 

"What, are you crazy? No way. That's not good. You're already, like, way thinner than anyone I've ever seen. What you need is some noms." Amethyst herself was feeling the cravings now. There was always food in the house.

 

"I'll eat now. I'll... try." Pearl didn't want to kill the mood. "How's about you try to feed me? Oh... do you have whipped cream?"

 

"Oh, no no no. You're having proper food. I'm gonna cook you lunch. Put your clothes back on, I dunno when my mum's due back home." Amy had noticed before that food was a sore spot with Pearl, but she didn't realise Pearl was... this thin. How could Rose just abandon her like that? Didn't she know how Pearl would take it? Anger at Rose was boiling deep in her gut.

 

"Amethyst, please. I'm alright." Pearl leant forward and kissed her, without much warning. "Please. I want to not think about this right now. I don't want you to do what they all do. I still have some progress to make."

 

Pearl's kiss caught Amethyst off guard, but didn't distract her enough for her to lose focus.

"You're sick, Pearl," she said. "This is sick. Come on, I'll make you food. Or do you want some more weed first?"

 

"Please don't make me eat. I don't want to. I'm not sick. I don't want to be bigger."

 

Amethyst frowned at her.

"You wanna do this?" she asked, incredulously. "You really wanna do this? Well, I'm not going along with it. You can have some food with me, or you can leave. How's that, huh?"

 

Pearl gave her a look. Her gaze then dropped to the floor. And then the lids of those pale eyes closed too. "I'd better leave."

 

"Fine." Amethyst's eyes felt dry. She suspected the weed, but was grateful for it, because otherwise she probably would have cried. "Run, then. You know you can't run from this forever. I'm just trying to look out for you. But if you don't want that, then fine."

 

"I'm older than you!” Pearl snapped. “I know more about this than you, let's face it!" She then paused, realising the implications of what she'd said. "Wait, no..."

 

It was like she'd kicked Amethyst in the face.

"Wow," she said, her voice shaking. "Wow, P, that's so nice of you. So great to know you've got just as much confidence in me as my _fucking parents_." She shouldn't be getting mad, but she couldn't help it. There were tears gathering in the corners of her eyes now that even the weed couldn't do anything against.

 

"I didn't mean it like that! Amethyst, please." Pearl desperately tried to throw her clothes on and found them all slipping. Too big. All of them.

 

"I don't care how you meant it. You know how I feel about my parents. You know how I feel about being told I don't know what I'm talking about." Amethyst blinked. Tears were now falling down her face. "Just fucking. Eat something if you know what's good for you."

 

"I can't! I just can't! Not yet. When I get there, I will. Just let me get down to seven stone."

 

"You're crazy," Amethyst said, hard. "Just get out. I don't care." The tears on her face told a different story. She wiped them away furiously.

 

Pearl nodded. Fully clothed. "Keep the weed. I don't need any more distractions in my way."

 

"Fine." Amethyst had no idea what to do with the weed. She didn't know how to roll joints or make bongs or do anything. But she'd figure it out. She knew people, Pearl wasn't the only resource she had.

 

Pearl looked behind her. "I'm sorry." She said before walking out. Guilt overtaking her face.

 

Amethyst watched her walk out.

She then collapsed on the floor and started crying for real. Pearl was her best friend. She didn't want to lose her.

 

As Pearl found herself on a cold walk home, she gripped her gloves and balled her hands inside them. Alright. Okay. Fine. So she was all alone? Good. They'd been holding her back. Daring to offer her food. Daring to try and stop her. She could live this winter on bitter coffee and green tea alone and she was going to show the world that she was strong.

Stronger than them.

Strong in the real way.


	18. Act III – Chapter V: Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> Content warning for this chapter: Violence, choking, blood.

 

It took about two hours for Amethyst to calm down and get sober enough to realise she couldn't just leave the situation like that.

So she took out her phone and rang Pearl.

"C'mon, P. Let me make this right," she muttered to her phone as it rang.

 

Pearl didn't pick up. She barely registered the phone buzzing at all. The snow of late November had begun to fall and she felt all too cold. She still wasn't home. Not even after two hours. Just a few blocks out of reach, familiar streets, she'd become too cold to make it back. She'd stopped and sat down. Shaking in her lack of sufficient clothing.

 

Aurora left school early that day.

Without her Principal around, she was barely needed. She'd finished her work for the day, tidied up, sent Marigold a text asking if she was feeling any better, and locked the rooms behind her.

Her conversation with Rose earlier had her worried. Pearl was, indeed, not going to take this too well. Aurora knew full well that their parents were barely capable of looking after Pearl. The best way to deal with this was to check up on her herself.

Their home was close, only fifteen minutes on foot. With her car, it would only take Aurora five to get there.

She was on one of the nearby streets when she noticed a bundled up human sitting in the snow. The shape looked all too familiar. The car skidded on the icy streets when she stopped it and jumped out.

 

 

"Pearl?" Oh god, she looked bad. "Pearlie, what are you doing out here? You're going to kill yourself! Here, let me take you home. Oh, Pearlie, what happened to you?" Her sister's skin was icy cold.

 

"Aurora." Pearl’s head spun. Oh geeze, she must've still reeked of cannabis. "Rori, you're here. I can't... I can't make it home, it's too cold."

 

"Can you stand up?" Aurora leaned in close to Pearl, wrapping an arm around her to support her. She smelled... was that weed? She was well acquainted with the smell; Blue had the stuff all the time. But there was no time to worry about that now. "I'll take you home. Or, actually, how long have you been out here? Maybe I should take you straight to hospital. You're hypothermic, Pearlie."

 

"No hospitals." They'd weigh her. Realise she was underweight and had been lying to her parents. "We'll be stuck at accident and emergency for hours and you know neither of us want... that." She felt feverish. "Just get me home. Help me warm up, okay?"

 

Pearl's insistence that she shouldn't go to hospital sent a surge of alarm through Aurora, but she decided that it would be easier to get Pearl to cooperate if she didn't. For now, her hypothermia was the more pressing problem anyway.

"Okay, Pearlie," she said. She went over to the car and opened the back door, then came back to Pearl. "Can you walk? Here, you can lean on me." She lifted Pearl up. Her sister was definitely lighter than she should have been.

 

"Thanks." Pearl nodded. "I basically got dumped twice today. Might as well have died."

 

"Twice?" Aurora knew about Rose. Who could the other one be? Her friend, Amethyst? It was almost the only option. Aurora sighed, then bundled Pearl into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat, turning the heat on to the max. "It's okay, Pearlie," she said, "we'll be home in five minutes, and then you can have a nice hot tea and a nice hot bath and everything will be just fine."

 

"Yes. Take me back. I feel awful. Sick. I wanna puke. And I'm so warm. Can I take my clothes off again?"

 

"Not 'til we're home." Aurora suspected Pearl was delirious from hypothermia, didn't know what she was saying. She pulled into the driveway moments later. "Here we are. Can you walk?" She hurried around the car to open the door for Pearl and almost carried her into the house again. "There we go. You can take off that jacket now." She put on the kettle.

 

Pearl slowly stripped, the second time that day. She shook. "You're not seeing me naked." She'd be found out. Aurora would freak out.

 

"Oh hush, I said nothing about being naked. Sit down, I'm making you tea." Aurora had seen Pearl naked before, plenty of times. Why was Pearl scared of it now? The answer was obvious and it was not one Aurora liked. She dug through the tea cupboard and took out the one type of tea that Pearl was likely to drink no matter her condition: green tea. Made a big mug and set it down in front of Pearl.

 

Pearl gave her a nod and then tried to pick it up. It felt as if the mug was scalding. Everything felt too stuffy. "I can't pick it up," she replied, voice cracking.

 

 

"Leave it to cool down for a few minutes." Pearl looked so fragile. Aurora couldn't help herself; she came over and hugged Pearl close. "Do you... want to talk about it?" she asked carefully.

 

"Yeah, and look more like an actual weird loser to you. No thanks. Don't let me infect your perfect self."

 

"Oh, don't be silly." Aurora frowned at Pearl. "I already know you're a weird loser. Hah, just kidding. Spill the beans, Pearlie. You know I care about you, don't you?"

 

Pearl gave her sister a shaky stare. "Mind your own business. You couldn't relate to anything I feel anyway, just as usual."

 

Aurora's face fell a little. "Oh, don't be so sure."

 

"Just let me go to sleep." Before Aurora would press her to eat again. Just like the rest of them.

 

"Not until you've had your tea. Have you eaten today?" Now that Aurora was here, she'd do her damnedest to look after her baby sister.

 

"Yeah," Pearl lied. "Better I don't have anything more. I'll feel sick. I do feel sick."

 

"That's because you were out in the cold for God knows how long. Drink your tea." She didn't believe Pearl that she'd eaten. And even if she had - that had probably been breakfast. It was late afternoon now. Aurora went into the kitchen and started to prepare something for Pearl.

 

Pearl shakily stood up. "You're not making food, are you?"

 

"Sit down, Pearlie. Have your tea." Aurora didn't want to deal with Pearl's lack of cooperation just now. She sighed.

 

"I'm only drinking the tea. This isn't fair, you can't make me eat. I'm above eight stone. You can see my tracking calendar over there."

 

Aurora gave a long-suffering sigh. "And you think I'm believing that? I didn't weigh you myself, so it means nothing. I'm making you food, and you're going to sit down, and you're going to eat it, and you're not going to throw it up, because if you do, I'm taking you to hospital. No compromises." She was sick of it.

 

"I'm not hungry!" Pearl spat back. "I'm doing alright. Mom and Dad believe me! Why don't you?" She had been preparing to get weighed. She had a plan. The only set of scales she could use was upstairs. She'd need to pee first. Pearl had her equipment upstairs, too. Making Aurora as feel guilty as possible was key.

It would buy her a few weeks, at least. "Do you want to weigh me now?"

 

"No. I want you to sit down and drink your tea and eat your food." Pearl had mechanisms of making Aurora believe things that weren't real, and Aurora knew that, and she was prepared. After the night she’d had yesterday, she was beyond tolerating any bullshit from anyone.

 

"And I want you to suck my ten inch dick. This is why I never come to you for help, Aurora. Because you don't know anything, and yet you think you somehow do! I ate a full meal at school." Lies. "I had it with my friend Amy." Lies. "I'm tired of you breathing down my neck. I'm an adult! That is at! A healthy weight!"

 

"You're tired? Well, I'm tired of your bullshit! I'm tired of your lies and your tricks and your manipulation. You're losing weight, even your bloody teacher noticed. Now eat. If you don't, I'll take you to hospital. Don't think I won't, you know me better than that." She slammed the plate down in front of Pearl. Fresh cut raw vegetables - carrot, cucumber and pepper - along with a bowl of hummus. It was light, low-calorie, even vegan. Aurora was fuming silently.

 

Pearl shut up. She looked at Aurora. She then clenched her jaw, slid the tea away and wordlessly stomped in the direction to her room.

 

"Oh no you don't." Aurora caught her by the arm. She was by no means big, but her entire hand easily wrapped around all of Pearl's upper arm. "Sit down. You better start cooperating. I'm not in the mood to hold your hand through all of this. And if I have to drag you to the hospital kicking and screaming, I will."

 

"They'll weigh me. Eight and a half stone. And I'll tell them that you're being really awful to my progress because, believe it or not, being yelled at kills my apetite. And they'll make sure you can't see me. Which will suck, won't it?" Half a stone in weights. She just needed to get to it. Upstairs. Tuck them into her bra, her socks. Anything. But she needed to get away.

 

For just a moment, Aurora wavered, unsure of herself.

Then she frowned at Pearl. "I've just about had it with your manipulating, Pearl. One more word from you and I'm taking you to hospital. Eat." The fact that Aurora loved Pearl and wanted - no, needed - to keep being able to see her and look after her was just about the only kind of leverage Pearl had these days. And Aurora was sure of herself. She wasn't the only one who had noticed Pearl had lost weight. The fact that Pearl was putting up this much of a fight served to further confirm her suspicions. Pearl wasn't going to be taken from her.

 

"Please. After the bath. I'll eat. I'm just honest to God feeling sick right now. I'll vomit and I won't even try." That part enough was true. This whole exchange made Pearl queasy.

 

It did not take more than that to soften Aurora again.

"Okay. But I'll be watching you. You can't expect me not to. I'll sit with you and talk. I..." She swallowed. "I want you to trust me, Pearl. I'm sorry for yelling. I've had... an interesting day. But that's enough of that, this isn't about me."

 

"I'm scared of you," Pearl finally admitted, hiding in a bundle of warm layers. She dreaded Aurora having to see her.

 

"I'm... sorry, Pearlie." Rose had mentioned it, once. Aurora didn't like the thought of Pearl - or anyone, really - being scared of her. She knew just too well what it felt like, being scared of someone. "You know everything I do is just for your own good. I have to do things that hurt you sometimes. Because... because." Because more often than not, it felt like Aurora was the only one who cared enough to do this.

 

Pearl swallowed. "Do you really have to see me naked?" She looked around. "I... don't look good naked."

 

"Oh, I'm sure you do, Pearlie. Being hot runs in the family." She cast a small smile. "But if it bothers you that much, I'll look away until you're in the bath. We've got lots of bath bombs to cover you up, and they'll smell nice, too. How does that sound?"

 

It wouldn't change a damn thing. Aurora would still see her bones. "Yeah!" Maybe she could gaslight her way out of this. She didn't want to. She wanted to stop lying.

 

"Alright, then that's settled. Shall we?" Aurora offered her hand to Pearl to help her up - Pearl still had touched neither the tea nor her food, and she was bound to be shakey still.

 

Pearl took it. Forcing a smile. God, even her hand looked... different to Aurora's. The one person's figure she'd always admired. "I'm finally thinner," she said. Out loud.

 

Aurora threw a concerned look at Pearl. "You are," she said, fighting to keep her voice calm. "That's why we're all so worried about you."

 

"I still feel the same," Pearl replied quietly. "Too big. Disgusting. You know what they said about me."

 

Aurora nodded. She stopped and pulled Pearl into a hug.

"You're not big at all," she said. "Or disgusting. You're barely more than skin and bones, Pearlie. It's frightening. I'm only trying to help."

 

"I'm scared of you," Pearl repeated and looked down at herself. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for worrying you."

 

"Don't be." Of all the things Pearl could possibly be sorry for - worrying Aurora was not one. "It's what I'm here for, okay? I'm here to look after you. You don't need to be sorry."

 

They managed it to the bathroom. Pearl didn't feel like her insides had completely frozen over anymore, which was a relief. She looked at Aurora and took off her top. And then her bra.

 

 

She couldn't meet her sister's eyes. This was the lowest she'd ever weighed. By all accounts - her doctor's notes and all, she should have been in hospital.

 

Aurora noticed, of course. She drew in a sharp breath, neglecting her promise to look away. She didn't say anything, though, because that might have made things worse.

Instead, she started letting hot water flow into the bath and rummaged through the bath bombs. "Which one would you like, Pearlie? Come and have a look."

 

"I like the one that smells like roses," Pearl replied, clenching her fists. "You know. The pink one. I want it. All over. My body."

 

If Aurora was surprised by Pearl's choice, she didn't show it. She took out the one Pearl had requested and gave it to her. "There you go. I'll stay, if that's alright?" She wondered if she could flit out for a second to get her magazine.

 

"I don't mind. You've seen me now. Nothing I can change about that." Pearl dropped it in and waited for it to fizz. Her gaze dropped. Mournful. "It even smells like her."

 

Aurora watched. Her heart sank. It couldn't have been more obvious.

"You have feelings for her." She hadn't exactly meant to say it out loud.

 

Pearl looked up at her sister. "Is there any use in me denying it?"

 

"Not really." Not that Aurora could blame her. It was another thing that ran in the family. But she wasn't going to reveal her own difficulties to her sister.

 

"Well. There you go. I told you that you couldn't relate. Because it's weird. I'm... I'm fucking weird. I'm sorry I'm gay."

 

Aurora chuckled, sadly.

"And why on earth would you think I can't relate to that?"

 

"Because... you're... not... gay?" Pearl slowly raised her brows. "Unless you're going to tell me now you've been a secret lesbian this entire time and can relate to wanting to fuck some older lady. I stayed at her house! How could you possibly relate to how far this goes?"

 

Aurora almost laughed out loud. Almost. But that would have gotten far too close to giving her away, so she held back.

"How indeed." She sighed.

 

Pearl splashed her with the rose colored water and shrunk into the tub. "I'm sorry that we can't all be rich and successful and pretty and independent. I'd love to be like you. No responsibilities. Free to move anywhere you want in the world. Why the fuck are you staying in this little town? Get out, Rori. You're better than this."

 

Aurora hesitated.

"I have... my reasons for staying." Two of them, to be exact. One of them was Pearl. The other one loomed over her in expensive heels every day. Made her drive her home when she was too drunk to look after herself. Made Aurora do unspeakable things and threatened to punish her, should she ever tell.

 

"You weirdo. You could be earning so much more than the school. But... hm. I don't know. I guess Diamond's gotta pay you a lot to tolerate her."

 

Aurora looked up and smiled at Pearl.

"That she does. And you have to admit, she's pretty hot, too." She could let Pearl believe she had a crush on the Principal. Pearl had only talked about _wanting_ to fuck an older woman. Just because Aurora already did that, very frequently in fact, didn't mean she couldn't mess around a little bit.

 

"But it's unrealistic. She basically dumped me today. It kinda sucks but I should've seen it coming."

 

"There was no way you could've known." Had Rose not told Pearl why she couldn't pay as much attention to her anymore?

 

"Apparently the real life. She couldn't do it anymore. She led me on and I hate it. I hate myself for falling for some stupid, manipulative COUGAR." Pearl punched the water and then simply looked down. Sad.

 

Aurora frowned. So Rose hadn't told her. What a strange choice of her to make.

"You're probably better off without her. If she didn't even tell you the real reason why she can't talk to you anymore." Whoops. Maybe she should have kept her mouth shut.

 

Aurora's words slipped into her mind. Pearl gave her sister a bleary look. "... You know something about this, don't you?"

 

Yup, should definitely have kept her mouth shut. Aurora's shoulders slumped. "Yeah," she admitted, "I do."

 

"Tell me. Everything that you know." The same words of interrogation that Aurora’s boss often used. The same tone of vague threat. Even in her nudity, her absolute fragility, Pearl looked all too vicious. "I deserve to know."

 

Aurora weighed her options, looking at Pearl thoughtfully.

And decided all too quickly. Marigold had far too much power over her.

"I can't, Pearl. I'm sorry."

 

"I'm your sister! I deserve. To know." Pearl couldn't believe it. What kind of conspiracy was this?

 

"Yes," Aurora agreed, "you do. But I can't tell you. She should have told you." What on earth did Rose hope to gain by keeping the truth from Pearl? Aurora's position was, as it was, a lot more precarious - Diamond would interrogate her, she would squeeze every bit of information from her, and Aurora didn't have the strength to resist her. If Pearl knew from her, it wouldn't end well.

 

"Then I'll go to the Principal and ask tell her a member of staff has been lying about something which concerns me," Pearl replied with a hiss. She could just walk up to Diamond and tell her.

 

Aurora turned pale.

"N-no," she said, "don't do that. Please. Oh god, don't do that."

 

"Oh, is that something you'd rather me not do? Then tell me!"

 

"I can't! You don't understand." Aurora closed her eyes, took a deep breath to calm herself. "I want to, I really do. But just like I don't understand your situation with Rose - you don't understand this." She really, really hoped that wasn't true, because she did not by any means wish Pearl into the situation she was in now.

 

"Then why are you keeping the truth away from me? I'm feeling the loneliest I ever have. And I don't need to remind you that not even a year ago, every friend I had DITCHED ME!"

 

She didn't need to remind Aurora. Aurora sighed.

"As unlikely as this may sound," she said, "I'm protecting you."

 

"I'm an adult! I don't need protecting!" Pearl looked at Aurora with utter desperation. "How can you do this? How can you keep this from me?"

 

"There are some things you need protecting from," Aurora said sadly. "And so does Rose. She's probably just trying to protect you too. She doesn't understand." Nobody, nobody understood Marigold like Aurora did.

 

"Then go away. I don't want a liar to look at me," Pearl snarled. "Or anyone who's keeping shit from me."

 

Aurora didn't move. Pearl's manipulation tactics didn't work on her anymore.

She sighed. Wondering if it was really Pearl she was protecting, rather than herself. She looked at Pearl. Hesitated.

 

"Get out." Pearl bared her teeth. "Get out, now."

 

"No." Marigold had that kind of power over her. Pearl did not. Aurora refused to give her little sister that kind of power.

 

"I no longer consent you to be here. Do you understand?" Pearl spat. All previous warmth gone.

 

Aurora sighed once again.

"Diamond is blackmailing her because she thinks your relationship with her is getting too close." There, she said it. She held eye contact with Pearl.

 

Pearl stopped. "...Wha?" She tiled her head. "But we've never done... anything. Literally, I've gone further with Amy and she's only been a friend for a couple of months."

 

"I know. But you know Diamond. Even just touching is too much for her." Unless she was drunk. Aurora sighed once again. "Sorry."

 

"But that's ridiculous! We've been out of school. How did I even land on her radar?"

 

"Don't ask me." Except Aurora was the perfect person to ask. Aurora knew everything. She remembered very well the disciplinary action Marigold had taken after finding out Aurora had lied to her. She remembered the look on Mari's face when Rose had walked in on them in a compromising situation. She remembered being interrogated, she remembered every slip-up on her part. She knew exactly how Pearl had, as she said, landed on Diamond's radar.

 

"But you know. Rori - This puts me at danger. The principal is involved in a literal baseless accusation with me and I have no idea what's happening!"

 

"Why do you think I didn't want to tell you?" Aurora snapped. "I'm trying to sort this out, okay? She actually listens to me sometimes. If anyone can fix this, it's me, and I didn't want you involved any more than you absolutely had to."

 

Pearl looked at Aurora with a heat in her eyes and then found herself collapsing - and worst of all, sinking. Water burnt at her nose and throat as it seeped in. Her body had gone limp.

 

 

 

Aurora reacted immediately.

"Pearl," she gasped, "Pearlie!" She was fully clothed, but didn't give a damn as she reached into the rose-scented bathwater to fish her sister out from it. She really was barely skin and bones. Aurora held her head over water and tilted it back, trying to free Pearl's airway. "Can you hear me?" she said frantically. "Pearl!"

 

"'M fine," Pearl mumbled, sputtering water. Third time this week she'd blacked out. Her belly twisted as she came to. "Let me go."

 

Aurora frowned, worried. "Pearlie, this isn't good," she said softly. "You should get out of the bath now. Here, let me get you a towel."

 

"Please stop. It's fine. I do that sometimes," Pearl replied, trying to perform some kind of damage control.

 

Aurora sighed.

"Get out of the bath," she said gently. "If it happens again, I'd rather you be somewhere where you can't drown."

 

Pearl shakily stood. Somehow. "Please, don't be scared."

 

"Not scared. Worried." Aurora held out her hands. "Come here, I'll help you."

 

Pearl took the hand and her clothes. Aurora needed to leave for her to place the weights in. "Do you mind going? I just need to get changed."

 

"No, I don't think so." Aurora held on to Pearl's hand. "I think I should weigh you now. As in, right now, as you are. You'll hide stuff in your clothes if I leave you to get dressed." She knew how this worked. It wouldn't be the first time.

 

This caused panic. If she was weighed now, she'd be found. "This is an invasion. I'm going to tell Mom and Dad."

 

"Tell them what? That I weighed you because I was worried about you? Come on, Pearlie. If you're right and you're above eight stone, then you have nothing to be scared of. Come here."

 

"No! Stop!" Pearl raised a shaky fist. "I'll fight you."

 

Aurora sighed.

"Please, Pearl," she said. "You know I have to do this. I wouldn't be a good sister if I didn't. And I've been trying so hard to be a good sister to you again."

 

"WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS BAD!" Pearl lost it, trembling. Her pulse drummed. White noise in her ears. "You're halting my progress! All of you, meddling with things you have no idea about!"

 

Aurora caught Pearl's wrists. They were so tiny. So skinny. Possibly worse than they'd ever been before.

"Pearl," she said gently. "Do you even hear yourself? You know this can't go on like this. Please." She pulled Pearl towards her, towards the scales. "Let me weigh you."

 

 

Pearl looked at the scales with agony. For so long she'd gazed at her number going down with determination. Now, in her nudity, she begged it to grow. She had no choice but to sorely, slowly stand on it. One foot at a time.

 

 

Aurora watched her, finally letting go of her. Watched the numbers on the scale, watched Pearl.

She didn't quite know what she was expecting, only that it wasn't going to be good.

 

Pearl closed her eyes and didn't open them. Not even after the scale beeped and showed a number. It wouldn't be satisfactory.

Nothing could save her now.

 

 

When the scales beeped, Aurora looked.

And turned pale.

Less than seven stone. It was worse than she'd thought.

"Pearl," she said softly. "Pearl, this... isn't good."

 

"Shut up. It's..." Oh. Pearl coughed. That was lower than what she'd seen in the morning. "It must be wrong."

 

"It's not wrong, Pearlie." Aurora reached out, touched Pearl's arm. "You know what this means."

 

"I can't go in! You won't make me!" Pearl hissed, getting off. Her evidence still proudly displayed on the monitor. She began to put her clothes on. Her pants slipped down every time. "No!"

 

"You know I have to take you." Aurora had really, really hoped it didn't come to this. Hoped that maybe, just maybe, Pearl wasn't lying and Aurora was just imagining things. But the evidence was there. All of it. "Do you want to eat before we go?"

 

Pearl slipped on the sweater. A mad panic in her cloudy gaze. "You won't make me!" A fragile swing at Aurora. She hit her sister in the ribs.

 

Aurora sighed, then caught Pearl's wrist in her hand again.

"There's no need to fight, Pearlie." She sounded tired. "This is happening, whether you cooperate or not. But it'll be a lot easier if you do. Do you want to eat before we go?"

 

"I'm not going! Do you honestly wish to engage in combat and turn this fiasco into some sort of... circus of violence?" Pearl asked, desperately tugging away.

 

"If I have to. But it'll make everything easier if you just stay calm." Pearl's clothes were slipping. She didn't fit them anymore. Aurora silently berated herself for not noticing before - it was so obvious now. "Come on now."

 

Pearl tugged out of that grip. Her hand was so skinny it literally slipped out. She gave Aurora a desperate look and dashed out, nearly tripping over her own clothing on her mad run to her room.

 

Aurora was losing her patience again.

She chased after Pearl, catching her before she managed to reach her room. "Stop it," she hissed. "You're only making things worse. You're coming with me." She curled her arms tightly around Pearl's waist and dragged her towards the door.

 

Pearl’s nails dug into Aurora like a terrified wet kitten. They swiped across Aurora's face. Pearl felt a new wetness. She realised a few trickles of her sister's blood seeped down her face.

 

 

Aurora yelped and let go of Pearl, realising too late that that was exactly what Pearl wanted.

"What are you doing!" She grabbed Pearl's arm and touched her face with her other hand. She felt blood. It stung and she hissed. "What the hell, Pearl! _My face!_ " What would Marigold think?

 

"I'm sorry! I'm not letting you..." Pearl swiped and scratched hard at the arm holding her. "Take me there!"

 

It hurt, but this time, Aurora was determined not to let go. Instead, she just took both of Pearl's wrists in one of her hands, holding them tightly so Pearl wouldn't hurt her again. She was stronger than Pearl; she could do it. With a sigh, she all but picked up Pearl and dragged her towards the door.

 

Pearl kicked and screamed, thrashing like a caged animal. She was too upset and indignant to listen to anything telling her to stop.

 

It hurt Aurora.

Not just the scratches on her arm on her face. She could deal with that. It was a small price to pay.

But Pearl's screams, her fighting, her thrashing. Aurora was hurting her, doing something Pearl really, really didn't want. And here she was, doing it anyway, because she had to.

She didn't bother with trying to get Pearl to put on shoes. The car was in the driveway. It was difficult enough getting Pearl out of the door and into the car. This was going to be hard. Maybe she should have called an ambulance.

 

Pearl's screams only got louder. Her phone. Her weights. Everything was being dragged away from her.

 

For about half a moment, Aurora had the luxury of entertaining the thought what the neighbours would think.

Then she realised she didn't give a rat's ass. They could stare and whisper all they wanted. Pearl took priority. Pearl took priority over everything. Aurora had planned to visit Marigold this afternoon; that wasn't going to happen now. Pearl took priority over everything.

She forced Pearl into the car and belted her in, then closed the door and locked it, thanking the heavens that the only door where the car could be unlocked from the inside was on the driver's seat. She got in and started the car.

 

The second she sat, Pearl was on the offense. She clawed herself out of safety and pounced on Aurora. "Let me out! Let... me out!"

 

"Sit down, Pearl." Aurora didn't meet her sister's eyes. "You can let me drive, or you can stay locked in the car while I call an ambulance. They won't be as nice to you and you know it." She hated that she had to threaten Pearl again.

 

Pearl swung at her sister's jaw. "I'm not letting you take me there!" she screamed. "No!"

 

Aurora didn't react fast enough and Pearl's fist collided with her face. She cried out in pain. "Pearl, for fuck's sake!"

 

Pearl flinched at her sister's curses. No time to slow down. She threw another punch at her sister's nose. And her eyes. "Let me out!"

 

This time, Aurora managed to dodge. "No!" She finally took the offensive, wrestling Pearl down into the seat. "Just behave, will you? You're making everything worse for yourself!"

 

"You don't know anything! You have no idea what you're doing!" Pearl hissed, biting down on Aurora's arm.

 

Aurora reacted instinctively, and did the one thing that always got her to comply when Marigold did it.

Her hand locked around Pearl's throat, probably harder than she should.

"Behave," she hissed.

 

The grip made Pearl panic even more, and then loosen up completely as she gagged and gulped for air. "R-rori!"

 

Aurora’s eyes widened, and she let go of Pearl like she'd been burned. What the hell was she doing?

"I'm - I'm sorry," she whispered, panicked. "I'm so sorry, are you okay?"

 

Pearl went in for it. No hesitation. A straight uppercut info Aurora's already bloody maw and nose. She could feel something crunch.

 

 

Aurora, in hindsight, should have expected it.

She held her nose, tears in her eyes, and wailed loudly. Pearl had broken her nose, it seemed. How could she let her guard down like that?

It was difficult to think around the pain; it was more difficult to be reasonable. One of her hands held her nose, the other locked around Pearl's throat again. Even harder this time.

 

Pearl screamed into the hold but found herself gurgling on Aurora's new stream of blood. As she thrashed against the unrelenting grip, she found her face dripping red. "Stop!" Black spots found their way across her vision.

 

 

"I'll stop if you stop." Aurora had reached her breaking point, it seemed. Not letting Pearl go.

 

Her knees kicked and buckled. Not enough air. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't see. And soon, Pearl couldn't feel. She blacked out. Dripping with blood. Face rolling to the side.

 

And then, Aurora stopped.

She turned pale again. Frantically checked for Pearl's pulse. Found it - it was weak, but it was there. She breathed a sigh of relief.

Then took out her phone and called an ambulance.

 

Pearl didn't come to for twenty minutes. As she did, she gasped for air, dried substance at the back of her mouth. Aurora.

 

Aurora was still with her, of course. She'd not left Pearl alone for a second, not even to clean up her own face. She'd carried her back to the house to wait for the ambulance, and when it came, explained the situation.

Pearl regained consciousness just after they'd gone into the ambulance. The doors were closed, Pearl was on a stretcher, Aurora in a seat beside her. Her nose was still bleeding, throbbing painfully, but she'd ceased caring.

 

Pearl tried to sit up. She felt entirely numb. "Let me out," came the mantra. She felt trapped. Lost. Invaded.

 

"Too late for that." Aurora's voice was thick with blood. She didn't look at Pearl. One of the paramedics had given her an ice pack to help with her nose; she pressed it to her face.

 

"Fine. I'm getting out myself." If she'd have to roll out of a moving vehicle, she'd do it. She curled her fists and tried to stand.

 

"You can't." Part of her couldn't believe Pearl was still fighting, even now. "Everything's locked. Even I can't open it. You can attack me again if you want, I don't care. It won't help."

 

"I'll destroy you. I'm going to lose everything and it's all going to be your fault."

 

Aurora finally looked at Pearl.

"Go ahead," she said, her voice cold. "It won't help."

 

Pearl finally stood. Her skin cold. It was so cold everywhere. Her head spun. She tried to land another hit at Aurora.

 

Aurora dodged easily, even in her mangled state. "Careful," she said. "You're going to pass out again."

 

"Don't care." Pearl doubled over, trying to catch her breath. "If you do this, I won't get to see her for a long time. I'm not letting you take me away from her!"

 

Aurora sighed. It hurt.

"She would want you to do this," she said. "She would want you to be safe." If there was anything she knew about Rose, this was it.

 

Pearl gripped the wall in anger. "You don't know anything about her! You do not know Rose like I do!" Pearl frantically searched for a door opening. Anything.

 

"Don't call her Rose. She's your teacher, for heaven's sakes." Aurora took out her phone. "I can call her now and ask, if you want. She'll confirm that she wants you to do this." She had no intention of calling Rose. She would, later, when Pearl was gone, but not now.

 

This fired Pearl up again. "I can call her whatever I want!" She raised a leg, her bad one, and kicked Aurora in the ribs. She didn't care if she hit or missed. She found herself on the ground, screaming. It had clicked out of place. Again. Just as it had during her accident.

 

Aurora barely reacted when Pearl hurt her knee again. A small, vindictive part of her felt that Pearl deserved it.

But then, she got out of her seat and held out a hand to help Pearl up. "Here, let's get you lying back down again."

 

"Rori! Rori, it's out of place, again!" Pearl shrieked, unable to get away or move. At all. It hurt. It hurt, it hurt.

 

"So it is." Aurora took Pearl's arm and dragged her up, getting her to lie down on the stretcher with difficulty. "Not my fault."

 

"I can't move! I can't move, Rori, please. Please help me get out."

 

"No." It was cruel, and she knew it. "Just stay down. We'll be at the hospital soon."

 

"Please." Pearl kept begging. Pleading. By the time they'd arrived, she was back to screaming. Yelling profantities at her sister and staff. The stretcher was lowered, despite them. Pearl could only watch as the back entrance to the hospital closed, her small body driven in.

She could only watch as the electronic lock clicked the doors shut.

Shit.

She'd fucked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Bonus for anyone who's also homestuck trash](https://68.media.tumblr.com/4636c58d4636c393df19ef5f4b4d44fc/tumblr_odij7cFrLm1ujrsl0o9_1280.jpg)


	19. Act III - Chapter VI: Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".

 

When Principal Diamond came to school again on Friday, Aurora wasn't there. She'd called in sick, refused to tell Diamond what was wrong, and she'd not heard from her since.

Curiously, Aurora's sister was also missing from school.

Diamond barely remembered anything about Wednesday night. She'd awoken on Thursday with one of the worst hangovers she'd ever had. She didn't know what happened, but if she'd drank enough alcohol to give her this kind of reaction, it was likely bad.

She knew calling or texting Aurora would be no use, so she could do nothing but wait for Monday.

 

Monday strolled around with no Pearl, three new experimental bottles of foundation, two concealer kits, and a failure to hide or at least disguise the damage. The lines from Pearl's scratches, still flushed red, were manageable. The cuts her fingers had produced, not nearly. Three deep gashes on the bridge of her now broken nose, one of them cut into her cheek. Her previously pale, smooth cheek. One of her eyes had swelling and was dark and patchy from Pearl's assault.

She hoped debuting a new pair of guccis would distract everyone. She couldn't avoid Marigold forever. Aurora felt herself tense in the parka she'd chosen to bundle herself in. Holding a fresh travel mug of coffee. Stepping into their office as if nothing had happened only minutes later.

 

 

Marigold found Aurora only seconds after she'd arrived.

"You're late," she said, giving her a disapproving look. Aurora... was different. She wasn't wearing her usual blouse and blazer. She also didn't usually wear sunglasses.

She also didn't usually have her pretty face all scratched up.

"What in the name of everything that's holy happened to your face." She couldn't help staring. Somebody had violated Aurora. Had hurt Marigold's pretty puppet. They were going to pay.

 

"Nothing." The reply came quick. Too quick. "How was your weekend? Rest well. Mm. I hope so. Yep. Hey, check out these shoes. Aren't they pretty? I got them for you. You can watch me wear them. And I'll get you a pair if you want." She just needed to collect those papers. And she'd be safe behind her desk.

 

Marigold refused to be distracted by Aurora's chatter.

"Aurora." It was almost a growl. "Tell me what happened. Right. Now."

 

She whimpered. "A scuffle. You know. The... family... dog. Nasty creatures. Vile."

 

Marigold stepped closer. She wasn't drunk; it was too early in the morning. But right now, her protective instincts overrode her disgust at herself.

She touched Aurora's cheek, very gently ran a thumb over the cuts.

"Dogs don't do this." She'd kept dogs before. It looked more like a cut from... a human nail. "Did you get into a fight?"

 

"It's nothing you should worry about, Marigold." Aurora kept the sunglasses on. Dreading Marigold take them off and seeing how crooked her nose now was. Or the way her face just looked... different.

 

"Somebody hurt you." Marigold was tempted to take off Aurora's sunglasses. Decided not to, for the time being. What if she looked worse underneath? She kept touching Aurora's face, though, less examining now and more gently stroking the soft skin. "Who did this to you?"

 

"That's my business. Please don't touch me. We're at work." Aurora gave a short sigh.

 

Marigold didn't withdraw her hand.

"I need to know who did this to you." She would destroy them. Nobody, absolutely nobody was allowed to lay a hand on her Aurora.

 

"Your tone right now is the exact reason you're not going to know." Aurora tried to swat the hand away but couldn't.

 

"Oh, I'm going to know alright." Marigold had her methods of extracting information from Aurora. "You could spare yourself a great deal of trouble and just tell me now."

 

"This is different. You're not doing yourself any favours. Please. Let me deal with it. You're not prepared to see all of it."

 

That did it. Diamond reached up and plucked the sunglasses from Aurora's face.

And took in a sharp breath.

"Who did this to you," she asked again, a low, dangerous growl.

 

Aurora shied away and her face in her hands. She didn't like that tone. "She was protecting herself. It wasn't her fault!"

 

"Who?" Diamond was starting to get an idea, and she didn't like it. Not at all.

 

"I'm not telling! You'll just hurt her!" Aurora hissed. "I need to protect her."

 

Diamond had heard enough. She let go of Aurora. Clenched her fists, her face a grimace of anger and upset.

"Nobody is allowed to hurt you. Not even her."

 

"I dragged her to hospital. Do you know what they're doing to her there?" Aurora cried out. "Besides, you're one to talk about physical assault."

 

"I don't care. She hurt you. She's not allowed." Marigold was. Aurora was hers. Aurora had proven that, again and again, by coming back every time.

 

"You are not going to hurt her!" She narrowed her eyes. Putting a foot down. "You touch her and I'll... I'll do something to hurt you. And it'll hurt."

 

Marigold laughed. "As if. You know I won't permit that. But if it makes you happy, I'll leave your sister alone." For now. Pearl would have until the new year, when Marigold would prepare a whole new level of suffering for her. She hadn't originally planned to, but now, with Aurora's face in this state, it was impossible not to.

 

Aurora backed down and sighed. "You'll see the extent of it tonight. When I take off my makeup."

 

"I'll be drunk." There was no way she would adore Aurora any less, even with her face looking like this. It was more the idea that someone had dared to lay a hand on Aurora that drove Marigold up the wall.

 

"She hurt me out of self defence. I did what… you do to me. I hurt her."

 

"I'm sure you had a good reason to." She didn't want to hear Aurora justifying Pearl's actions.

 

Aurora shrank at the words. She felt almost invisible. As if her words simply didn't matter at this point.

 

Marigold turned around, away from Aurora. She was disappointed, hurt, angry.

Her mind turned to a different matter that had been on her mind for several days.

"What... happened Wednesday night?" she asked softly. It was probably not wise to try and discuss this now, here, but Marigold needed to know.

 

"Leave it alone." Aurora held her ground. "I didn't even want to come in until after the holidays because I knew you were going to flip out."

 

So she'd been right with her suspicion that something bad had happened.

She let it go, for now. "We'll talk about this later." She stepped towards the cupboard where she kept her emergency stash. It was running dangerously low. "Will you get me... actually," she interrupted herself, looking at Aurora's face, "I'll go myself."

 

This caused Aurora to worry. At least when she stocked up for Mari, she knew how much and what there was. She could control things better. She'd even make an effort to buy lower content alcohol. "I'll do it. I don't want the school to see me like this."

 

"No. You stay here." She came over to Aurora again, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You can go into my office, if you want. You know you don't have to interact with anyone if you don't want to." The school could deal with not having its secretary at full function for a while. Diamond, however, could not. And she didn't want to subject Aurora to any humiliation.

 

"Alright." Aurora gave in to the touch. "I'll stay. Is there anything new or anything you want me to do?"

 

"Be there when I get back." Aurora knew her tasks better than Diamond did; she would find things to do. Diamond grabbed her jacket and her purse in order to make her way out of the school.

 

"See you, Principal Diamond!" She gave Marigold a quick wave and smile, which dropped the second she left. At least she'd caught up on sleep. It was easier with the constant pain meds. A relief. Perhaps she'd give Marigold some codeine to ease up those hangover migranes.

 

\--

 

Rose Quartz found herself facing the reality that for the second day in a row, Pearl wasn't attending classes.

She wasn't even in school, as far as Rose knew. She'd seen Amethyst around, looking lonely and upset. She hadn't dared to ask Amethyst if she knew anything.

She was worried.

 

Amy, on the other hand, felt nothing but guilt. She'd been left without resolve and no Pearl. And her anger at rejection and being ignored had turned into fright over a missing Pearl. She bundled herself into biology – somehow - rustling through a messy backpack on instinct for a pen. Huh. In her worry, she'd come to school and out of homeroom early.

 

Surprisingly, Amethyst was early to her biology lesson. Earlier than anyone else; as early as Pearl usually was.

Rose swallowed. Then decided that she could trust Amy, and Amy might know something.

"Amy," she said.

 

Amy turned immediately. Her hair going past her eyeline. She'd barely bothered to put any effort in - which wasn't much, usually. "You know where she is, right? You've got to."

 

Rose's heart sank.

"I don't," she admitted. "I was hoping you'd know more. You're her friend."

 

"Oh." She paused, pulling out a chewed biro and throwing her bag on the floor. "Her family hasn't gotten the school involved, then. At least she ain't missing... Or. She could be."

 

Rose frowned, contemplating.

"If she was missing, I would likely know about it." Because last time Pearl went missing, she'd run to Rose's, and Aurora would know that her house was a likely place for her to go to again.

 

"I made a mistake”, Amethyst said. “I agreed to skive school with her before the weekend. She left. It wasn't pretty - we'd gotten high and into an argument. I haven't seen her since."

 

"You... got into a fight?" Rose felt her heart twist painfully. After Rose's rejection, and then a fight with her only close friend... she couldn't even imagine what that would have felt like. She felt herself grow anxious. What if Pearl had done something to herself? She'd attempted suicide before. Rose definitely, definitely needed to talk to Aurora.

 

"Yeah. I saw her naked and freaked out. You should have seen it… well, maybe not but you know what I mean! It was scary. I've never seen someone that... unhealthy. That small. And she... she thought it was a good thing." She clawed at those messy locks in frustration. "Look, man, I might not be perfect or whatever. But holy shit! She's... my best friend right now. Or at least one of the only people I care about and I didn't say anything. Until it was too late."

 

Rose frowned, worry etching itself into her face.

So Amy had noticed as well. And gotten into a fight with Pearl over it.

"You're not the only one," she said, giving a soft sigh. "I didn't realise she'd lost weight again until a few weeks ago. If I'd just noticed sooner..." She probably could have gotten Pearl to eat more. She could have gotten Aurora involved. She could have done a million things.

She wouldn't be able to forgive herself if something had happened to Pearl.

 

"I'm scared,” Amy said. “I've been scared all weekend. And now she's still not in? What if she's still out there, in the snow? She can't handle that kinda cold right now. Even I can't, and I wear like two hundred layers of tanks." She pulled under her top to show grey, white and purple tank tops hidden beneath. "Well. Like five. But she barely looks after herself!"

 

"If she was missing, I'd know about it," Rose repeated, just as much to calm herself down as Amethyst. "Look, there's nothing you can do about it just now. But I'll ask her sister and find out what's going on. I'll let you know, okay?"

 

"You won't hide anything from me?" Amy asked, desperate. "I can't deal with the way you teachers gotta treat us like kids. She's my friend."

 

"I know." Rose sighed. "I'll tell you anything I can, okay?"

 

"It's just so unfair! The reason she was so shitty that day was because of you! What did you do to her?"

 

"What did I... I didn't... do anything." Guilt washed over her features, contrasting her words. Rose knew exactly what she'd done. And it was very likely that Amethyst did as well.

 

"Oh yeah? You left her when she was like... that! Did you honestly, really think that was a great idea? Come on, quit with the bullshit." She crossed her arms. "I want to respect you. But you. You led her on, didn't you?"

 

Rose paled. Amethyst was right. About everything.

But she couldn't just admit it. The fewer people knew about any of this, the better.

"Don't forget that I'm still your teacher, Amethyst," she warned quietly. "You can't talk to me like that."

 

"You crossed that line first, the second you made her your victim. You know exactly the shit she's been through! You must do. And what, was she another project for you? A nicely damaged doll to mess around with and try to fix when you got bored?" Amethyst sniffed. "Gimme a detention, then. Get that bitch Diamond to scream at me. Suspend me. It's not going to stop anything. You deserve to think about the things you've done and feel just as guilty as I do!"

 

 

Rose was spared having to answer by the other students coming into the room. She was shaken to the core.

It would be difficult to return to her normal lesson. But she'd done that before. It would be okay. And she would not do Amy the favour of actually thinking about what she'd just accused her of.

 

Amy shrank to her seat and continued to glare at Rose for an entire hour. She didn't even care if her glare wasn't even that good. She wanted Rose to feel uncomfortable. At least for today. She'd get bored of doing it for two lessons.

 

When the lesson was over, Rose focussed on Amy again.

"Amy," she said. She wasn't smiling. "Detention. Tomorrow, after school."

 

"Suck my dick," Amethyst replied, throwing on her back pack. She was going to leave premises. The morning having already drained her of all energy. She'd kept the weed on her, casually digging into it to cope with the stress.

 

Rose hadn't expected a positive reaction. Amethyst was known for having a problem with authority figures. Rose still hoped Amethyst would show up to detention. She didn't actually plan to make her do work or unpleasant things; she wanted an opportunity to talk to Amethyst properly outside of classes.

 

Amethyst slammed the door shut on her way out. A few books dropped off shelves with the impact. She'd find Pearl, one way or another.

 

Rose sighed. She tidied up, feeling numb, and then cleared up her things. She had a free period now and didn't want to waste any more time.

A few minutes later found her once again by the Principal's office. She hesitated, her heart beating frantically. She didn't want to face Diamond, but she needed to talk to Aurora.


	20. Act III - Chapter VII: Displeased

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've both been incredibly busy this week so not a lot of illustrations for this chapter - sorry!  
> But... next week's chapter is truly something to look forward to. :p
> 
> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".

Aurora clenched her fists as she sensed someone outside. She'd had the time to mull over her actions in her head. Insubordinate. Out of line. Bad. Even if she was protecting Pearl. She wanted to please Marigold. She'd try her best to show that she was hers. She'd unbuttoned the top two buttons of her blouse and placed a yellow tulip inbetween her teeth. Laying on top of the desk, on her side. She even placed a strategic hand on her hip, it might work to seduce. "Come in, I want to give you a treat."

 

Rose heard Aurora's voice behind the door, asking her to come in. She didn't quite catch the second part, but opened the door tentatively. "Aurora?"

 

Aurora blinked. Oh. Oh no. She tilted back and rolled off the desk. Abort mission. Rose couldn't see her like this. She immediately tidied herself and put the flower back. "Come on in, Diamond isn't around yet."

 

Rose breathed a sigh of relief and came in, closing the door behind her. "I was wondering if -" She took a double take. "Aurora, what... you're hurt! Did something happen?"

 

"Oh, we had a wild weekend in the household," she replied from inbetween her teeth. Her voice had even gone more nasal in pitch. "Don't worry. I take it you're here about Pearl."

 

"Yes." Rose swallowed her concerns over Aurora. "Can you tell me where she is? If she's okay?"

 

"She's safe. There was an incident at the end of last week. She's been taken as an inpatient."

 

"Oh." At least she was alive. "She's... in hospital?" That was... Rose wasn't sure if that was good news or not. To Pearl, it probably wasn't. She frowned, letting her eyes wander over the cuts on Aurora's face. "Did she do that to you?"

 

Aurora hesitated before replying. "She assaulted me several times, yes. She was a danger to myself and others. No, we haven't had an outpatient release date. I don't think she'll be back before the end of the holidays."

 

"Okay." Rose hesitated, torn. "I should... probably go. If - if you talk to her..." She caught herself. "No, actually, don't. I shouldn't. Thank you, Aurora."

 

"You're most welcome. Please don't think any of this is your fault." She swiveled on the chair. Turning away. Much like Marigold did, for dramatic effect. "And... Rose?"

 

"Yes, Aurora?" Rose's eyes were wide. What was it now? And how could Aurora expect her not to think it was her fault?

 

"No word of this to anyone. Not staff, nor students. It's my only request."

 

Rose hesitated.

"Anyone at all?" she asked. "Her friend Amethyst asked about her earlier."

 

"No. This isn't getting out. Don't trust children, they can't keep themselves shut up. People are going to notice. Do not add fuel to her fire."

 

"Okay." Rose sighed. "I'll just tell her that Pearl is ill and won't be back before the holidays. Would that be okay?"

 

"Go for it." Aurora waved a hand. She turned back to face Rose. "How are you feeling, though?"

 

Rose gave Aurora a thin smile.

"That's nothing you need to worry about. God knows you've got enough on your plate. Take care of yourself, Aurora."

 

She gave Rose a pained look. She knew her words had burned some form of bridge. "Happy holidays."

 

"And to you." She smiled at Aurora, a little bit more sincere now, then gathered her stuff and left.

 

Aurora waited for Rose to leave before preparing herself on the desk again. Oh, goodness. Sitting in the Principal's chair. Talking with the same dramatic zeal. It made her hot. She pulled at her skirt, showing more of her high thighs.

 

Diamond had stocked up on wine, cider and sherry generously and was now on her way back to school, carrying everything in a large, sturdy bag. She entered her office without knocking and was met with the sight of Aurora, who looked like she'd prepared herself specially for Diamond.

She wasn't pleased. She shot a dark look at Aurora and said, "Stop that. We're at work, and I'm sober." She turned to the cupboard and began fitting all her bottles in.

 

"Oh, come on. I even thought about this. Look, I got us yellow handcuffs. Because...Yellow is our thing? Tadaah!! Early Christmas present. And if it's not sexual you can use them to...Punish ...me. When I'm not doing good. I mean, they're plastic and not very good but goddamnit, it'll be very inconvenient to do work!"

 

Diamond calmly finished stocking her cupboard and only turned to Aurora when she was done. Not even the hints of a smile on her face.

"You're out of line," she told Aurora, rage boiling on low heat in her stomach. "I did not ask for any of this." What if someone had come in instead of her and seen Aurora like that? Aurora's behaviour was risky. Now more than ever, Diamond could not afford Aurora giving them away.

 

Aurora's face fell. "I don't know. I just wanted to make us happy. I'll be in my room." For the second time, she fixed her blouse and tucked herself away. She walked out without another word, her skirt still high up. Exposing all too much leg.

 

Diamond watched her go, then groaned and got out a bottle from the cupboard. She'd tried to resist. It was easier when she was sober. But seeing Aurora presented in such a tantalising manner...

It would take more than one bottle to get her drunk. She finished it off and sighed.

She shouldn't. She really, really shouldn't. For all intents and purposes, the school day had only just begun. She'd wanted to wait until it was over, let Aurora drive her home, do things the way they usually did.

She got up, opened the door and looked at Aurora.

"Come in here a minute."

 

In the meantime, Aurora had finished replying to some staff emails. She sighed at the invitation to the staff do. She'd been planning to go but… not with this face. She stood at Diamond's words. "Yes, ma'am?"

 

"Come in here," Diamond said, impatiently. She didn't like having to repeat herself. She turned and went back to her desk, sitting down in the chair. "Close the door behind you."

 

She complied. Diamond looked so threatening in her chair. So regal. Powerful. Like an unchained panther, ready to strike and staring her down with those gleaming, golden eyes. "May I help you, Principal Diamond?"

 

"Sit." She gestured to the chair on the other side of the desk. "You and I need to have a little talk, Aurora. I've not at all been happy with your behaviour recently."

 

Oh. Oh no. She frowned. "Yes, Principal Diamond." She settled down and nervously seated herself.

 

"You've been... lying to me. Keeping things from me." She held Aurora's gaze steadily. "As justified as you think you may be in doing so, you need to stop. Your loyalty is, first and foremost, to me. Is that understood?"

 

"Yes, Principal Diamond. Of course. I'm sorry for all accounts of lies and provision of false information." She bowed her head. Unable to look her in the eye.

 

Diamond frowned.

"I will come back to you about this," she said calmly. "There are things I need to know. But there's another thing that's been bothering me."

 

"Anything I've done to provoke discomfort, I apologise for. That's never my intention," Aurora replied, eyes still downcast.

 

Diamond let her hang for a few moments before she spoke again.

"You've been careless. On several occasions over the past weeks, you've done things that risked exposing our... relationship. Your behaviour just now is only the latest example. But surely you know it must remain secret. At all costs."

 

"A complete secret. No one was going to come in. Not at this hour. They'd knock, I had you in my sights. But I understand your concerns. I'll do all I can to keep this of utmost secrecy."

 

Diamond hissed.

"Nobody is ever allowed to know. Do you understand, Aurora? Nobody. You know I have trouble being discreet when I'm drunk. The last thing I need is to worry about you losing your subtlety, too. If we're to continue this, I need to be able to rely on you. Completely."

 

"I understand. I'm sorry. I'll change and I- I… No one will know. Please. I'm so sorry."

 

"Good. You're usually such a good girl, Aurora. It's not like you to slip up like this. Is there something on your mind?"

 

"A lot," she admitted. "Being assaulted and dragging your sister to hospital puts a lot on your mind."

 

Diamond thought on this for a long moment.

"It's been distracting you," she finally said. "I sympathise with your sister's situation, but your loyalty should always, first and foremost be to me."

 

But Pearl was family. Aurora shook. She was allowed to have her family. "I-" She looked at Diamond with a quiet desperation. Diamond, who would only talk of family when drunk. Marigold, who could just not understand. And it was Marigold she loved. The one for whom she'd sacrificed her future, her education. Her freedom. She closed her eyes. "She will no longer distract me. I'll see to it that someone else watches her."

 

"Good. I'm glad we sorted this out." Marigold was barely drunk, for her standards, so she managed to control herself. Plus, Aurora's face didn't nearly look as pretty as it usually did. "Now," she said. "I'll need you to tell me everything you've been keeping from me. Especially concerning Rose Quartz."

 

Aurora sighed. A sorrowed glance at the door. She begged Rose to forgive her. This was what Diamond loyalty meant. Selling out good people for Principal Diamond's approval. "Let's start at the beginning. Pearl had been dangerous for a while. Since the incident last year... She's not been well. The rumours flying about in the competitive clique of dancers she happened to be in led to a lot of bullying. She lost all of her friends. I was barely there to help her, even over the Summer since I was with you." She drummed her French manicure on the desk. "Quartz's history with provoking students has been a self repeating legend that occurs every couple of years. Even in my time at the school. She's young, beautiful and... it's not much of a stretch to imagine she's very good at what she does."

 

Diamond listened intently, her chin resting on top of her folded hands.

"How many... incidences have there been involving Quartz?" she asked. Quartz must have been fairly discreet with them, since Diamond had only ever heard rumours, and never found any proof.

 

"I'm unsure. Maybe four. Five. It's been a few years. She has a few classes. But it's never been this bad."

 

Diamond frowned.

"How far does she usually go?" she asked.

 

"From what I recall she just led them on enough to want to please her. It boosted some of the best grades we got."

 

"And with Pearl? You said something about her going to Quartz's house at one point. What happened there?"

 

Aurora shut her eyes. "Pearl's instability peaked after attending school for a week or two. She ran away from home. Spent a night with her teacher."

 

Diamond leaned forwards, fire in her eyes. "Do you know what they... did?" She knew Aurora would catch her drift.

 

"I didn't pry. But Pearl was very drunk when I found her. You know how drunk teenagers get. Very... touchy," she whispered, sick at Marigold's interest.

 

"Do you think they did anything inappropriate?" Marigold's voice was low, her gaze hungry.

 

"It wouldn't be much of a stretch to speculate. But they're adamant to deny anything beyond professionalism. Do you think they did?"

 

Marigold's insides were boiling with need. She longed to touch Aurora. She needed more alcohol.

She got up, got another two bottles out of the cupboard.

"It would not be unreasonable to assume that they did," she said, her back to Aurora. She turned around, returned to her desk with the bottles, all the while staring at her assistant hungrily.

 

"Oh, my. How lewd to think. I sure hope I never fall to such treacherous acts." Aurora played along, more confident. If Marigold was her only ally, so be it. She'd use the situation. She mock covered that flush. "How naughty."

 

A smile spread over Diamond's lips. She opened one of her bottles, but didn't drink yet.

She didn't have all the answers yet. And she couldn't let herself get sidetracked, as alluring as the prospect of having Aurora was.

"What happened Wednesday night?" she asked, her voice low and gentle, but firm.

 

"You drank a lot. We went home. You and I did some... things I shouldn't repeat in word outside these walls. We had an incident, I pushed you to try and control yourself. It didn't go well. You fell asleep and I didn't sleep."

 

Now that she knew, Diamond kind of wished she hadn't asked. There was a reason she'd been so hungover on Thursday; there was a reason she'd drank way beyond her limit that night.

She'd wanted to forget.

She took the bottle she'd just opened and drank from it. She didn't stop until the bottle was half empty. She looked at Aurora.

"Did I... hurt you?" She barely dared to ask. The answer was painfully obvious.

 

"Nothing I can't tolerate. Besides," she gave a sultry look. "You're allowed to. It's the way it is."

 

It was the right answer. Diamond relaxed, had some more of the alcohol.

"Aurora," she then said, "you're my most valuable staff member. I feel I should... reward you. Tell me, what would be a fitting reward for a beautiful young lady such as yourself?"

 

"The pleasure of your company, Principal Diamond. And a raise," she added. "Tis the season, after all!"

 

Diamond smiled. "You're already handling pay, Aurora. It'll be easy for you to adjust your salary to something more appropriate." As for the other thing... she reached out her hand. "Come here."

 

Aurora nodded, smugly, and got up. "What would you like me to do?"

 

"Come here." She beckoned Aurora over and, as soon as she was within reach, pulled her over into her lap. She let her hands trail over Aurora's body and looked into Aurora's eyes, her own pupils blown wide with need.

 

"I could lock the door. Then no one will walk in. It'll be just us," Aurora murmured.

 

Even as drunk and needy as she was, Marigold still kept a strong hold of her senses. She turned away.

"They might still hear. Neither of us is very good at being quiet." Several years of this, and that was one thing Marigold knew for sure. "We shouldn't do this here."

 

"Then let's take a day off. It's nearly the holidays. No one cares. Half the staff is showing films in class."

 

"Mmm." She leaned in to kiss Aurora's neck. "I like that idea. When do we leave?"

 

"Now. " Aurora slipped her handbag from her seat. "To yours. We'll have the whole day."

 

"Good. Let me just -" Marigold picked up the bottle and drank until it was finished. "Okay. Let's go."

 

Aurora remained silent. Only waiting for the principal to follow. Again. This seemed to happen again and again.


	21. Act III - Chapter VIII: Something New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> Content warning for this chapter: non-explicit sexual content, including discussion of toys.

They were at her house only a few minutes later. Diamond was too drunk to unlock the door again, so she handed her keys to Aurora.

She was on her as soon as the door closed behind them, touching and kissing every inch of skin she could reach.

 

"Someone's eager," Aurora purred, touching Marigold's face and neck. "I got some other stuff too, you know. Nothing much but... I just thought you'd like to try something new."

 

Diamond let go of Aurora only for a moment.

"Something... new?" She was intrigued. "Show me."

 

Aurora smiled, looking into her little bag. "There's the cuffs and I also bought this nifty little thing. It's a tiny vibe, but packs quite the punch."

 

Marigold took the cuffs. "I like these." She wasn't sure about the vibe. "What does it... do?"

 

"It just vibrates. There's a button on the side, give it a try." Aurora handed it over. "The one I have at home makes me squirt. They're great!" Well. Now Marigold knew she used toys.

 

Marigold started, stared at Aurora.

"You... pleasure yourself?" Aurora always expressed such little interest in being pleasured; she always wanted to please, never demanded anything.

 

Aurora cringed. "...Yes...? Like a few... adult... people." She and Marigold... really needed to talk about things like this. "I have some toys at home. They're more intense than these."

 

Marigold's pupils blew wider.

"Aurora," she breathed. "I want you. To. Show me. Show me what you've been doing to yourself."

 

"Mm. It's nothing special. I just touch myself. My breasts. My... privates. And then..." She brushed a finger against Marigold's cheek. "I take one of my vibes. Six inches. Little bunny vibe. I turn it on. Like this." She pressed the vibe and held it up. "I lick it. For lubricant, if I'm not wet enough. And then..." She shimmied off her skirt and raised her brows suggestively. "I think of you."

 

Marigold moaned, just hearing Aurora talk driving her wild. "I need..." She was already panting, and neither her not Aurora had touched her privates yet. "Bedroom," she whispered. "Now. Please."

 

"As you wish." She helped Marigold into the room, already stripping off her blouse buttons.

 

She touched Aurora, fumbled with her clothes. She needed to see Aurora naked, now.

"Show me," she whispered.

 

"I've got some ideas. Some involve me stepping our usual boundaries so I'll save them. But it's more exciting if you touch me with the toys."

 

"O...okay." Marigold had never used toys before. She didn't quite know what to do. But they would figure it out, like they always had. She stepped closer to Aurora. "Will you - will you help me undress?" she asked.

 

"Always," came the reply. Buttons off. Clothes folded. Touches galore. She fiddled a little with one of those nipples. She wanted to kiss it. Not now. "How about we play a little more rough, hm? I can be all bound with these cuffs. At your utter mercy. I won't get away."

 

"Hmm." Marigold considered this. "No," she decided. "I'll use the cuffs, but only because you'll look pretty in them. I won't hurt you. You've been hurt too much lately." A finger ghosted over the cuts on Aurora's face.

 

"Fine." Aurora rolled her eyes. It appeared she was dancing with a Diamond in the rough in all aspects but sexual. No alcohol could provoke that. She'd have to _ask_. "But make me feel naughty, alright? I'm actually quite... aroused, myself." She had to admit it. It was just so damn rare. She got horny in private, reading naughty stories (now online) of older women dominating younger ones - like her (a fetish, it seemed). But never with someone else until they provoked her to feel hot. "I think I might have a thing for using toys. You wouldn't perhaps be... opposed if we gently included them?" Only when drunk, it seemed.

 

Marigold narrowed her eyes a little.

"What's wrong with what we normally do?" she asked. She had to admit, it was unusual for Aurora to tell her she was aroused. And even more unusual for her to tell her about something she wanted to do. Marigold thought she might need more alcohol for this.

 

"It's good. It's nice. It's just... very... vanilla." It had just hit Aurora that it was likely Marigold was just... unaware of more. Unaware of fetishes and roleplay and the kinks she may have. "Listen. There's... more to this. You can make yourself feel happier and better. I could serve you differently."

 

Marigold looked at her, still unsure.

"Tell me more. I'm... intrigued by this." She wondered at which point she should go get some more wine for herself.

 

"Okay. Well." She tried to think of something not too unconventional. "Imagine me serving you in a very, very skimpy maid outfit. But yellow. Because. You know. It's our kind of thing. But I'm all but naked, you can see my thighs and when I lean over to clean a mess, you," she gave a little giggle. "You get a very nice view. And then you treat me like a maid and we pretend it's a situation where we're both..." She trailed off. This was only kinky in a relationship where the power balance didn't exist. She was already... there. In real life. Where she didn't have a safe word. "And you appreciate me in uniform. It doesn't have to be a maid thing- I'll wear nice things."

 

Marigold frowned.

"That... doesn't sound like a big change from what we normally have." Aurora already existed to serve her. All that was missing was the outfit. "I'm not opposed to you wearing nice things, though."

 

"It isn't just that. We could do all sorts of things. You've barely scratched the surface of what makes me tick, that's for sure. And you could have one hell of a journey finding out."

 

Marigold was still staring at her, struggling to comprehend.

Then, without a word, she got up and went to get herself more alcohol. She mulled it over the entire way. When she returned to the bedroom with two more bottles of expensive wine, she'd made up her mind.

"No. This is about me, not you, and I want to keep doing things the way we've been doing them." She wasn't angry, but she would be if Aurora kept insisting on trying this foolish nonsense.

 

 

Aurora's face fell. "You're right." And she was. Her mind flicked back to the stories she'd read - happy people. She wasn't like that. They weren't like that. They'd never go out together - romantically. They never did this to be romantic. She simply laid down and closed her eyes. This was the way it was. Her body was for Marigold's use right now. She didn't matter. "I'm ready, _Principal Diamond_."

 

It was nothing less than an open act of defiance, and Marigold's expression darkened.

"You will not speak to me in that tone," she hissed, "and you'll use my name." This was her bedroom; these were her rules. Aurora knew that. Aurora belonged to her, and had for the better part of five years. Marigold could not begin to understand why she was acting up so much now. Was it because of Pearl? Because of Quartz? Fury boiled inside her.

 

"My apologies." Fine. Then she wouldn't use a name at all. "I'm here. For you." She put her hands over her head in a stretch. Her legs, perfectly smooth and shaven, en pointe.

 

It wasn't enough for Marigold.

"Say my name." She refused to touch Aurora, and instead took one of the bottles she'd just acquired. She didn't drink much. It was more something to occupy herself with while she watched Aurora.

She had to admit, the sight made her hungry. Hungry for Aurora to touch her. But she needed her to be compliant first. Completely.

 

Aurora didn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing pain in her eyes. She closed them. "Marigold. I'm ready." Her hands clung to one another as she finished the stretch. Exposing that body- so small. Compact. Perfect.

 

Marigold watched Aurora for a moment longer, checking.

It seemed okay. But she wasn't entirely sure. She still felt like she needed to take back control in a sense.

So she stepped towards the bed, took Aurora's hand and gently pulled her into an upright position.

"Service me," she said, her voice a dark growl.

 

"Yes, ma'am." There was a dullness to Aurora’s eyes. Her voice cracked. She gently lowered herself over Marigold's thighs and ran a hand down from her belly.

 

The feeling that something was off intensified.

"Say my name," Marigold hissed. Aurora's touches didn't quite feel like they usually did.

 

She gave a glazed over glance up. Not quite meeting Marigold's eyes. "Marigold." She leaned forward to tenderly kiss her belly. "Marigold."

 

"Stop." She didn't want Aurora to take her senses away when there was obviously something amiss. And she cared about Aurora - if there was something affecting Aurora's performance with her. "Come here." She held out her hand, inviting Aurora to lie down with her.

 

Aurora gave a pregnant pause. As if considering whether she was truly allowed to, or if she was about to enter the lion's den and be hurt. She took the hand and slowly laid down, still not meeting her eyes.

 

"Look at me." It was unusual for Aurora not to. Her entire demeanour was unusual. Marigold fought down her fear, because she'd always known that one day, she'd go too far and Aurora wouldn't want to be around her anymore. She'd had that fear a million times. And Aurora had stayed. This was such a little thing - surely that day wasn't here, not now. Not today.

 

Aurora's belly sank, and with difficulty, she brought her gaze up to meet Marigold's. "Happy? Is this better?" She asked; there was no glimmer in her eyes. They usually were almost aglow when the sun hit them, specks of gold looked almost dull hazel. "What can I do for you?"

 

Marigold looked at Aurora, examined her.

Her gaze ran over the scratches on her face, the mess that was her nose right now. Aurora was still beautiful. Marigold met her eyes.

Aurora looked sad. It was difficult to miss. Usually, Aurora was so full of joy when they were here. So happy and ready to serve.

"Something's wrong." It was no more than an observation.

 

"It doesn't matter. I can please you if you like," Aurora said, near monotone. Her eyes then going out of focus. "Anything. If it'll make you happy."

 

Marigold's fear intensified.

And she was, for all intents and purposes, barely more than a virgin. She knew so little about anything. Even after years of doing this with Aurora, she was still new to this.

She reached up to touch Aurora's face gently. There were a few things she knew for sure.

"It won't make me happy if you're not happy to do it."

 

"Oh, I'm happy to do anything." Aurora didn't sound happy to any extent. Void. She looked small. "Remember. This isn't about me." _It's never been about me._

 

Marigold sat up, abruptly.

"That's what this is about?" she whispered, too scared to be angry. "Aurora - Aurora, it's always been this way. You didn't mind before."

 

"It's not about anything. Nothing is wrong. I'm fine." Aurora curled up, hugging her knees.

 

"Don't lie to me." There it was: anger. Simmering under the surface. "I thought we talked about this, earlier. I don't want you to keep things from me."

 

"I'm not keeping anything away. I don't know what I'm feeling." Numb. Numb. Numb. She'd never get to be like the relationship she wanted. Marigold would never love her. It didn't matter. She didn't matter. "I'd tell you by now. I don't hold well under your interrogation."

 

Marigold watched her for a moment longer, then turned away, took her bottle and drank. Drank slowly, but deliberately, until the bottle was empty. The taste of the wine lingered on her tongue.

She didn't know how to fix this, so she simply put down the empty bottle and took the next one. She didn't know how to deal with this.

 

Aurora watched Marigold drink. And for once, there was not a shard of pity on her face. She wasn't allowed to talk about it. She wasn't allowed to criticise. She had to sit back and enable this. And it crushed her. Her body stung from the numbness. She felt her stomach upset.

 

Marigold reached the end of the second bottle, and Aurora still hadn't said a word.

Her entire world was swimming around her. Everything was spinning. Marigold felt sick.

She got up, because she needed more alcohol. She had no idea what to do. Everything was spinning; she stumbled. Fell. Groaned as her body hit the floor.

This wasn't going right at all.

She wasn't hurt, at least as far as she could tell. She couldn't get up, either.

 

Aurora watched her. She felt herself sicken at the display. Marigold was so much better than this. Than her addiction. She didn't have the nerve to vocalise that thought, though. Wordlessly, she stood up and left the room. Still naked. Not bothering to look back.

 

Marigold was lying down. She barely noticed Aurora leaving.

Everything was spinning, her head filling with fog. It took a few minutes to clear.

She sat up, gingerly. Everything was still spinning. Aurora was gone.

Marigold held her head. Everything had gone so, so wrong. And she had no idea how to fix this.

Was Aurora still here?

"Aurora," she called out.

 

Aurora returned momentarily with a bucket and towel. "Here. Can you get to your knees?" She put the bucket beside Marigold. "If you need to... you know."

 

She was still here. She hadn't left. She was still here.

Marigold nearly cried with relief.

She shook her head at the bucket; she hadn't thrown up from alcohol since she'd been in her twenties. She felt sick, but not that sick.

"Aurora," she whispered.

 

Aurora looked at her. "Do you need help up? I can support you back onto the bed."

 

Marigold shook her head again. She could handle herself. Having Aurora help her with the simplest tasks because she was too drunk to even sit up...

She was disgusting. Revolting. Abhorrent. Everything about her was awful.

She managed to get onto the bed. Sat on the edge, her head in her hands.

"I'm a mess." Her thoughts, verbalised in their mildest form, for the first time. She didn't usually let Aurora see how much she hated herself.

 

"At least you're alive. I'm scared I'll find you on the floor one day and you won't get back up."

 

Marigold shut up again. A thousand thoughts in her head.

If she was dead, at least Aurora wouldn't have to put up with her anymore. She hated herself for wanting Aurora to stay. She hated herself for wanting Aurora to leave.

If she was dead, maybe she would at least stop hating herself. Her existence was pitiful. She wasn't going to heaven anyway; there was no point in trying anymore. Hell was awaiting her. Maybe the eternal fires would purge her from her sins.

She looked up. She likely wouldn't remember this the next morning. She touched Aurora's hair, gently.

Why was Aurora still here?

She wanted to tell Aurora, tell her to leave because Marigold was broken beyond repair. Wanted to tell her she loved her. Wanted to tell her to stay. Wanted to say she was sorry.

She couldn't.

 

Aurora didn't even react to being touched. She may as well have been talking about herself - dead. Completely void in this little moment. But still at Marigold's side. She wanted to curl up and cry. She couldn't. She wanted to scream at Marigold at how unfair all this was. But she couldn't find the words. Or the anger. Or the nerve. Or success in shutting up the loud voice in her head that told her she deserved this. She got plenty and yet asked for more. She felt stupid. Ashamed. Awful. She didn't let it slip on her face. She stayed perfectly still. Anticipating Marigold to almost hit her for being so disobedient. It wouldn't surprise her.

And a sick part of her wanted to be hit. Just so that she'd finally break enough to stop resisting.

 

Next to Marigold, Aurora was perfectly still.

She didn't react when Marigold touched her. Marigold's hand fell back to her side. She looked at Aurora, once again examining every inch of her face.

It occurred to her once again that she didn't know how to fix this. Whatever 'this' even was.

"Please say something." Or do something. Anything. Anything was better than this.

 

 

She looked at Marigold. And then at the ground. And then back at her superior. "I can please you." This time, it sounded scarily robotic. As if it was the only safe thing she could say. The only thing that wouldn't provoke anger or upset.

Eggshells were an understatement to the avenues she walked on with Marigold. And yet, she found herself dancing on them. Ready to crack.

 

Nothing was okay.

Marigold took a few long seconds.

"I know," she said. "But I don't want that." All thoughts of sex had been blown from her mind. Everything was spinning and she felt sick and nothing was okay.

 

"Then what do you want?" Aurora curled up again, knees to chest. Protective. "My body is here for you to use. I'm here to give you my attention. I could leave, too. If you hate having me here so much." The last part was a whisper. She winced. Not wanting to hear Marigold's reply.

 

"I don't -"

Marigold looked away, her mind in turmoil. She wanted more alcohol.

She didn't trust her own legs. If she wanted more, she needed to get Aurora to bring it to her.

But she'd already humiliated herself so much. And alcohol, as tempting as it was, wouldn't fix this.

"I don't know." She sounded exhausted.

 

"You don't know," Aurora repeated. She knew all the things Marigold needed. A visit to the GP to help her alcoholism. Another to get help with her mental health. Body checks - the damage had not been assessed for a while, she'd guessed. Maybe take her to speak to other gay religious people to get her to finally understand that she wasn't a sinner. Aurora could have done everything. She was too scared.

And so, she did nothing. Her hands slipped to their wrists and her nails dug in. Anything but the numb. She needed to feel something. Anything!

 

Marigold was silent for another minute.

Then another. Time stretched as she tried to decide what to do.

Eventually, she got up. Saw that her legs were a little more stable than anticipated.

She left the room, somehow managed to find her way to the cabinet with the alcohol.

She took out a bottle. Looked at it. Opened it, took a sip.

Then, quite suddenly, knew what to do.

She took the bottle into the kitchen, then returned to the cabinet. She took out every bottle that was in there. Every last one. Twelve of them in total. Carried them over to the kitchen and lined them up neatly on the counter.

There it was. Her entire problem. It had started with the alcohol. She didn't know why it had taken her five years to realise that.

And it was easy to fix. She'd done it before.

She took the bottle she'd just opened and poured it into the sink.

 

Aurora realised she hadn't returned, and after a few minutes, summoned the courage to come over and join her. She nervously stood at the door. Eyes fixed on the array on the table. "...Mari?" Her voice shook.

 

 

Aurora was here. Good. She should probably see this.

Marigold didn't answer as she took the next bottle, opened it and poured it away. She didn't even feel sorry for dumping that much expensive liquor. It didn't matter.

Another bottle. Then another.

At some point in between bottles, she looked up at Aurora. And she was drunk, she was so, so drunk, but her head was clearer than it had been in years.

It was like the entire universe came together before her eyes, and it had Aurora's face.

She smiled.

"Aurora."

She took another bottle, opened it, poured it away. Then another. Not many left now.

 

Aurora watched Marigold and immediately pieced together what was happening. She didn't understand. She couldn't believe it. "Marigold. Are you sure?" This would, in effect, terminate their relationship. Aurora was only needed when Marigold was drunk. She watched the alcohol she so much hated with desperation. Every drop was her world crumbling. "Mari..."

 

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." Finally, the last bottle. She emptied it, then turned to Aurora.

Reached for her, pulled her into a hug.

They only stayed like that for a few moments, then Diamond let her go. She still held her by her shoulders, though.

"I'm not sure I'll remember this tomorrow," she said softly. "But I don't think I'll come to school. Aurora... you know where I keep it in my office. Get rid of it. All of it."

The solution was so simple.

 

"But the withdrawal effects. Quitting cold turkey is going to be hard. Are you sure you can handle it?" She finally embraced back. Gave some form of semblance she was still there. "I'll call you a GP appointment in the morning. You'll need their support."

 

"No. I'll do it alone. I've done it before. Cold turkey." It wasn't pleasant, but she could do it. It was just a few weeks of suffering and she'd be back to being herself.

She didn't know how she would feel about Aurora when she was sober, though. It was the only thing that worried her.

"Thank you," she whispered, "for everything, Aurora."

 

Aurora trembled. She should be happy. She wanted to be happy. She couldn't break down in front of Marigold. "I should- I should go." She swallowed hard to not cry. Throat aching with grief. She tugged herself out of Marigold's grasp and ran to the room, trying to find her clothes but breaking down once she'd made it. Tears finally forming as she sobbed, harsh shaky breaths. Nose dripping. It was an ugly cry. But one she'd held in for a while.

She could finally be free. The thought made her violently ill. It would be later she thanked herself for bringing to bucket, or she'd have pulled a Pearl and vomited into the carpet instead.

 

Marigold watched Aurora go. Incomprehension on her face.

It was only a few minutes later that she shook herself out of it and followed Aurora into her room. She smelled sick. Aurora was crying.

Comprehension dawned. She crossed the room, touched Aurora carefully. Pulled her in for another hug and just held her.

 

Aurora didn't even register being moved into the embrace. She was too busy sobbing, her entire form heaving for air and shaking. Her face was wet. Her hands were wet. Mascara dribbled and foundation over her scars flaked. She found herself crying into Marigold. This carried on until she calmed down - somewhat. She still cried. She could finally breathe. She ultimately turned to her boss, eyes still cloudy. "It's over, isn't it?"

 

It broke Marigold’s heart. She held Aurora, knowing that if there was any chance of fixing things, she needed to do this.

She ran a finger over Aurora's cheek, rubbing away smudges of tears and makeup.

"It's better this way," she said.

She wouldn't abandon Aurora. She wouldn't, she wouldn't. She'd find a way to come back to her. She'd find a way to be okay with her desire for Aurora, even when she wasn't drunk. She had to. She had to.

 

It was a shame Aurora missed the power to read minds, as she took Marigold's words completely the wrong way. She went perfectly still before very gravely replying. "I should go."

 

"No!" That... that wasn't what Marigold meant. "Please. Stay a little while longer." She kissed Aurora's forehead, kissed her cheeks. This might be the last time in a long while she'd allow herself to do this. She had no illusions about how her sober self felt about all of this. And she wanted Aurora to stay a little longer.

 

Aurora let herself be kissed. She felt like a limp puppet in those warm arms. Skin clashing against skin. Why did Marigold never tell her anything before it was done? She didn't reply. But she didn't move, either.

 

Marigold kissed Aurora's hair. She kissed her cheeks. Kissed her lips, briefly.

"I'll work this out. Somehow. Don't worry."

She had no idea how, she couldn't even think of any motivation sober her would have for working it out. But somehow, she would.

For Aurora.

 

"You won't love me anymore. How... how am I meant to live without you?"

 

There it was, clear as day. Marigold had been right.

She couldn't believe that after this, after all she'd done, Aurora still wanted her.

"I'll find a way. Somehow."

Sober Marigold loved Aurora, too. She just had difficulty expressing that. She had to find a way. Somehow.

 

"No! You won't!" Aurora finally felt the rage simmer. "The sober you is hateful! The sober you thinks this is all wrong. The sober you won't touch me, won't appreciate me. The sober you hates everything and everyone. The sober you is going to hate me and you and I both know it. You- you... you're going to leave me. I'm going to be all alone."

 

Marigold let go of Aurora. She sighed.

"It's wrong, Aurora," she said softly. "It's sinful. I've gotten carried away. I need to stop being sinful. I already can't repent from what I've done. The least I can do is stop before it gets even further." She hated that she was hurting Aurora with this. She hated that Aurora was right.

"Your love matters to me. It's important to me." She brushed a strand of hair out of Aurora's face. "But you have to understand that God's love is more important. Than anything."

 

Aurora wiped her face. "This." She leaned forward to kiss Marigold. She pressed her lips softly over those. Marigold could hit her. She no longer cared. She needed to make her point. "Doesn't feel wrong."

 

Marigold had tears in her eyes when Aurora drew back.

"But it is." It had never felt anything but wonderful. "I've been taught all my life... The bible says. People at church. It's not that easy, Aurora."

 

It could be. It could be. "How come Quartz gets to be happy and gay? How come so many people around me are... allowed?" Her body began to shake again. "It's not fair. It isn't fair!"

 

Diamond sighed, turned away, sat on the bed again.

"If you want easy," she said, "if you want fair, you shouldn't be with me."

 

"I can't be with anyone else. I belong to you," Aurora replied, hasty. "You know what you've done to me. I'm still here. Despite that. Because I love you more than I care about myself."

 

Diamond looked at her.

She craved more alcohol. She could tell she was sobering up, and she didn't want to. This was the closest she'd ever gotten to having an actual, proper conversation about their relationship, and she didn't want to stop.

"This is who I am," she said, coldness mixing in with her voice. "If you don't like that, you can leave. I can't be anyone else."

 

"No!" Aurora panicked. "No. I'm… I can't leave. You're all I have. Everything. The past five years. I've done it for you. Please don't… please don't do this. You can do anything you want to me. Just don't... don't do this."

 

She looked at Aurora for a long time.

"I'm doing this for you," she then said quietly. She was hurting Aurora; it was wrong. She needed to stop.

But she also knew that Aurora needed her. More than anything.

"I'll fix it." She had to. "I don't know how. It'll take time. But I'll fix it."

 

"Don't do it for me! Do it for yourself! Do it because you want to reach salvation for yourself. I don't matter!"

 

Diamond frowned.

"You don't get it," she said, her voice hard. "I'm already going to hell, there's nothing I can do about that now. You don't believe in God. You don't understand." Why did Aurora resist this so much? It was a good thing.

 

"If you're really going to hell, you should be able to love me regardless. I just want... us to be happy."

 

"That's not how it works!" She had tears in her eyes again. "You don't understand." She was shaking. She'd tried to reason with herself. It never worked. Whether she was drunk, or sober, the fact that what she was doing was wrong always remained.

 

"Gay Christian people exist, Marigold. And I regret to inform you that you happen to be one of them. You know you don't need to choose. I know that somewhere in you... you want to be happy and you can be. I hate that you hate yourself. I hate that I only exist to make you feel bad about yourself and to elevate these problems. Because it doesn't need to be a problem." She turned to touch her. Gently. "Maybe I might never fully understand but surely you can talk to someone. There's hundreds of people in faiths going through this. Right now. And they can be happy."

 

She respected Aurora enough to listen to her and not interrupt, but anger was boiling inside of her by the time she finished.

"You don't know anything." How, how did Aurora dare to presume to know how she felt? Diligent little Aurora, who always thought there was an easy solution to every problem. Well, there wasn't.

"You should leave," she said. She was tired.

 

"I should," Aurora said. Broken. Her voice cracked and she immediately began to clothe herself, slipping on her socks. Putting away the discarded toys that never got a play. "Good luck, Mari. I know you can save yourself." She left, starting to cry again the second she left the room.

 

Marigold didn't look after her. Instead, she found some paper and a pen and started to write down her jumbled thoughts so sober her would at least remember some of it.

_Aurora. You can fix this. You need to. No more alcohol. You can love her without it. You can love her._

She knew that once she was sober, she wouldn't believe it. But she had to try.

She drank some water, allowed herself to shed a tear or two, and went to sleep by herself. It was barely gone 3pm.


	22. Act III - Chapter IX: A Thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> Content warning for suicidal intentions and blood (in the illustrations).

The snow had begun to fall. Aurora nearly skidded on the way to the car. The one Marigold had bought her as a promotion.

She began to drive. She didn't want to go home. She felt alone. Discarded. Thrown away. And it may as well have been armageddon. She wasn't thinking straight, in any sense of the word.

Aurora parked the car and switched her phone off. A few inches of snow creased beneath her feet. The yellow boots she wore were digging in. She glanced down to see red droplets on the white canvas. Her nose bled again.

She found herself at a bridge. The water beneath hadn't frozen. Too close to the beach to be iced yet. It rushed. Fast. A thirty foot drop.

The cold would kill her first, she decided. If the fall didn't work.

 

 

Amethyst was taking a walk.

She didn't do that a lot, but it was snowy and she couldn't help but be plagued with thoughts of Pearl. Skinny little Pearl all on her own in that snow. What if she'd frozen to death?

It was Amy's fault.

And Rose, goddamn Rose Quartz was no help at all. Why did Pearl even love her so much? She was useless, she was a goddamn cougar, she'd led Pearl on.

Amethyst was angry, and she'd stomped outside after a fight with her mother. She was determined to find Pearl, or at least walk around in the snow until she was as cold as she could be and worn out rather than angry.

She made it to the bridge and started to walk across. The wind was harsh and blew snowflakes into her face. She blinked, rubbed her eyes, and saw a silhouette at the edge of the bridge.

It was getting dark and the snow was obscuring her view, but Amethyst still knew that figure. That hair. She broke into a run, slipping on the icy pathway.

"Pearl! Pearl! I'm here, don't jump, I'm here!" She reached her within moments and didn't think before throwing her arms around the girl and dragging her back. It was only when she was close up that she realised...

"You're... not Pearl." The resemblance was striking, though. "Are you related to her?"

 

 

Aurora, alarmed, looked to the source of her salvation. Huh. A small, worried looking girl.

Pearl.

She sighed. "Yes. Aurora. I take it you know my younger sister."

 

"You're Aurora! Yeah I know her. Is she okay? ... Are you okay?" Aurora's nose was bleeding, and she looked like she'd been crying. Amy hesitated for a moment, then came in and hugged Aurora, because she looked like she needed it.

 

Whoever this person was, she gave good hugs. The snow started to fall more gently. The blistering wind gone. Aurora clung onto Amy for a second too long for a stranger. "Pearlie's in hospital, sweetie." Her voice was gentle. "She'd lost too much weight. The doctors told me they were worried about her heart because of it. Dental rot from vomit. I don't know when she's going to be out."

 

"Oh! Good! Man, I got all kinds of worried. I saw her, she was practically a stick. It's good she's getting help." She looked at Aurora, frowning. "Do you wanna sit down for a bit?" She didn't wait for Aurora but sat down, cross legged, in the snow. "C'mere. I'm Amy, by the way. Amethyst. Pearl's friend."

 

It was too frosty for the snow to turn into mush beneath her. The packing snow felt almost bouncy. Comfortable. Even the sky opened up a little. A deep purple-pink as thousands of tiny sparkling flakes dropped down. Gently. Aurora felt as fragile as every flake of snow. Cheeks tinged pink from the chill. She hugged her legs again.

So. This was her. Amy. "Our entire family is pretty problematic. You'd do best off staying away if you know what's good for you."

 

"Eh." Amy shrugged. "I don't. Do you wanna talk about it?" Aurora's face looked pretty messed up. Amy had taken her bag, and she took it now and dug a tissue from its recesses. It looked kind of gross (Amy had no idea how long it had been in there), but she offered it to Aurora anyway.

 

Aurora took it and blew blood into it. "It looks rougher than it feels. Who knew our Pearlie was a fighter, huh?" She couldn't help but try and laugh it out. Too much misery had hit her to any longer really be upset at her assault.

 

"Wait. _She_ did that to you?" Amy stared at Aurora in shock for a moment, then laughed out loud. "Oh man! When she gets outta hospital, I'ma take her wrestling. No excuses this time, girl's gotta fight."

 

"Well. It's better she put that kind of aggression in a more comfortable space, as opposed to my face." She pointed at the scars.

Her voice then dropped. "It might take months to get her back out. I really wish I knew something more but her body has to recover and revive from its own abuse. They've put her in a ward that's very closed off and even the visiting hours are limited. She doesn't have her phone. She wasn't even awake when I left hospital."

 

Amy's eyes grew wide.

"Can I... visit her?" She didn't want to go months without seeing Pearl, especially with how their last encounter had gone. "I miss her."

 

"Even I can't visit her right now. Her own parents can't. It's for the best. External influences can't be reintroduced too quickly. This is a mental illness, too. Her anorexia. Her mind needs to heal before she has access to potentially dangerous influence."

 

Amethyst swallowed, disappointed, but nodded. It made sense. "Can I give you my number so you can let me know when I can visit?" she asked.

 

"Of course." She nodded and handed her phone over, turning it back on. Oh. Marigold was her lockscreen. It was an old picture from... the party that had brought them to their first encounter. Marigold didn't know it was her there.

 

Amy took the phone, then recognised the face on the lockscreen and stared up at Aurora.

"Why is Principal Diamond your..." She remembered something from long ago, something Pearl had said. "Wait! You're the one that works for her, right? Oh man, do you have a _crush?_ " She lowered her voice, grinned at Aurora. "Scandalous."

 

She sniffed, rubbing her temples on her forehead. She finally snapped. Senses coming back to her. What had she been thinking? Marigold's rejection had driven her to near suicide."Alright. You know what? She's been such a royal, grade A cuntbag today. Kentucky fried cunt. Cuntiest cunt that ever did. And I need to vent. Marigold Fucking Diamond, her first name there, take notes, is the biggest piece of shit I have ever met and if I had the balls to leave this town, I'd..." She paused. Looking down. "I'd stay. Because she and my family are all I have. And she even made me swear my loyalty to her. Over my family. And you know the really shitty thing? I did it. Without any second thought. I chose her."

 

Amethyst stared at Aurora. Processing all this, taking it in.

"Well, I knew she was a massive dickhead." She grinned at Aurora. "So, is it like a thing in your family to have really unhealthy attachments to really nasty older women? Or people in general? 'cus I'm sensing a pattern here."

 

"Oh. You have. No idea." She laughed, sorrowful. "Maybe I should just jump. If I'm fated to live this tortured."

 

"Oh man, no, don't do that. She's not worth it." Neither was Quartz. "What the hell did she even do to you? I mean, I know what Quartz did to Pearl, but Diamond's like homophobic as fuck, so she can't have... lead you on?"

 

Aurora laughed, sardonic. "Oh. Do you promise not to tell anyone? Anyone at all. Not Pearl. Not any other teachers."

 

Amy raised an eyebrow.

"You mean, you've known me for five minutes and you're gonna tell me something even your sister doesn't know?" She then broke into a grin. "Sure thing, man."

 

"Don't give yourself too many accolades, Amethyst - was it? Yes. I need to vent. And I nearly just died. A part of me is honestly questioning whether this is all real. It's too beautiful. I mean. Look at that sky." Still so bright in its colour. So gorgeous. She felt drops of snow melt on her face. Healing the hurt on her broken nose. She closed her eyes. "You need to promise me."

 

"It's real alright." Amy looked at Aurora and gave her a light smile. "I won't tell anyone. I promise. Cross my heart and all that." She even raised up her hand and drew a cross over her chest. "Shoot."

 

"We've... been having sex for five years." She then blinked. "Wait, you're old enough to hear this stuff, right? Jesus, Rori, you dummy!"

 

"Wait, what?" Amy registered the first part of what Aurora had said, and then the second part. "Wait, what? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. Right. So. I'm eighteen now, so don't worry. And you've... you've actually been sleeping with her? For reals? For _years_? Wow. Jeez. Wow."

 

"She... didn't do it when she wasn't drunk. She only wanted to see me in that way when she was pissed out of her mind." She glanced at Amethyst. "She didn't want much to do with me otherwise but... she is drunk a lot. Or was. She made it clear she planned to quit today."

 

"Wow. Okay. Wow. That's fucked up. That's _so_ fucked up." Amy shook her head. "Oh man, I can't imagine what that must be like for you. And she's all up on everyone's case for just touching. She yelled at me and Pearl once for hugging. Oh man."

 

"Imagine snuggling up to her after a good night, only for her to sober up and tell you with a cold voice," she cleared her throat and attempted Marigold's voice. With her new nasal pitch, it was a butchery. " _'Leave.'_ "

 

"Shit." Amy knew better than to laugh at Aurora's Diamond impression. "That's so messed up. And you... you love her." It wasn't difficult to tell; she felt about Diamond the same way Pearl felt about Quartz. "I'm so sorry, Rori. C'mere." She held out her arms for another hug.

 

She accepted it more gracefully this time. Giving a very pained, Pearl-like smile. It was in her face. "I can't live without her. Five years. Five years of no social life. Constantly spending... wasting time on a woman that cannot ever love me back."

 

Rori looked so much like Pearl. Amy squeezed her lightly. At least Aurora wasn't as painfully thin as Pearl had been, the last time Amy had seen her.

"What are you gonna do?" she asked softly. "Obviously diving off a bridge ain't the answer. But you could quit. Move away. Start over somewhere." She already knew Aurora likely wouldn't. Amy knew Pearl well enough to know Pearl would never give up hope on Rose, no matter how stupid and hopeless it was. If Aurora was anything like Pearl... and she was. She'd feel the same way about Diamond.

 

"I... I don't know." Her voice shook. She closed her eyes. "It's unhealthy. This relationship, isn't it? It's not good for me to be like this. To want to die if she doesn't want me."

 

"No." Amy shook her head slowly. "It's not. But... you love her. I guess you just gotta ask yourself how far you're willing to go for that love." Pearl was willing to sit around and wait for Rose, baited into patience with lunches and extra credit work and fleeting touches. Aurora had slept with Diamond. On many occasions, it sounded like. She'd feel like there was hope, possibly moreso than Pearl.

 

Aurora curled her fists. She looked at Amethyst. "Pearl." Amethyst had mistaken her for Pearl and saved her. "Pearl is more important to me right now. She's going to need me at school when she comes back. I can't quit until then. But... I think I'm going to. At the end of this year. I'll apply to uni. Maybe I'll go with her to the same university - just to make sure she's okay. Not to stalk her. Do that makeup course I had my eye on. Do what I want to do." She nodded. Yes. She had a future. She didn't... she didn't need Diamond. "And I'm going to stop being taken advantage of. Every time we slept together... every time, it was her. For her benefit. She made that very clear today. I deserve better."

 

"Yeah you do." Amy grinned at her. She rubbed Aurora's back lightly. "That's the way to go. Pearl will get better and you will get better and it'll all work out." Maybe Amy would even figure out what she wanted to do with her life. She smiled. "Fuck Diamond. She doesn't deserve you. And she's definitely not worth all of this." She stretched out, yawned. "Call me when I can see Pearl, okay? I should probably go home. But I can stay a bit longer and talk to you, if you want. Up to you."

 

"Would you mind? Just a couple of more minutes. I think I'm liking watching this snow fall and I'm scared of being alone right now."

 

"Sure thing." To be honest, Amy didn't want to go home. "Might be good to get out of this cold, though. You got a place we can go back to? Have some hot chocolate, watch the snow from behind a window, talk about feelings." She smiled at Aurora.

 

Aurora nodded. "My own pad. Paid for by everyone's least favourite principal. She plays me very well, though. I'm going to miss that." She outstretched a hand. "Things are going to be okay. Okay?"

 

Amy took the offered hand and grinned at Rori. She got up and patted some snow off her trousers.

"Okay," she said.

 

 

 

END OF ACT 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [There is an insert for this chapter!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7670068/chapters/18915587) It is a flashback to the scene Amethyst saw on Aurora's phone. Enjoy!


	23. Act IV - Chapter I: Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".

 

Pearl had lost the track of time. Moving in and out of wards. Tests. Doctors. Daily weigh ins- several invasive procedures during the day. She'd cried every day for what she counted as the first couple of weeks. No phone. No contacts. No Amethyst. No family.

No Rose.

No one cared.

Her psychiatric assessment (the third this year) had been rigorous and shaken her to her core. They'd written her off as bulimic - something she'd felt personally offended by. It was a gross label. She wasn't even disciplined enough to be 'properly' anorexic. She wasn't even good enough for her sickness. The girls in her ward were both the subject of her envy and disgust. They'd had techniques of staying low and unseen that she could have never thought of. Colour coding food to know exactly the sequence of it resurfacing. Drinking enough water to make pee clear to raise body weight.

She hated the sterile smell. It stung at her. It was the bitter smell of defeat.

The diagnosis of borderline was one confirmed earlier. But somehow, it too, stung. Doctors treated her less seriously. Her outburts were a "borderline" thing. It was as if they'd stuck the label on her forehead in big letters and she wasn't allowed to escape it. How could she escape it? It was her. It controlled every action, reaction. Every fruitless desire and irrational hiss. It was what made her claw herself to the point she was almost forced to relax by the flurry of pills.

And the food. She compared the place to a farm. A farm for runty little pigs to feed and fattened up. If you ate, you were given praise and they liked you. Head down. No drama.

It was condescending. Pearl didn't eat until they threatened to drip her.

At least she had more control over a plate. But really. She had no control at all.

She'd rather die but they seemed to know all her plans. They kept an eye. They kept CCTV. Constant monitoring. She couldn't run - both her newly mangled leg and the enclosement of the facility controlled that.

She hated it. She hated this place.

And most of all. She hated herself for being put here.

 

 

\--

 

School was out.

The last two weeks had been hell. Diamond had been constantly breathing down Rose's neck, more irritable than ever, and even the students had started to notice. Amethyst hadn't appeared to detention. Rose had refrained from calling her parents, because if anything, that would make it worse. In classes, Amy wouldn't even look at her.

And to top everything off - whenever she tried to find Aurora, Pearl's sister was nowhere to be found.

The start of the school holidays was a relief. Rose felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders; she already found herself dreading returning to school in the new year.

She hated it. School was her life. She loved teaching, and she hated feeling like this.

Her thoughts were on Pearl a lot, and it killed her that she couldn't do anything.

The first two days of the holidays, Rose had done nothing. The third day, she forced herself out of the house. It was snowing lightly, crunching under her boots. She'd wrapped herself in a thick scarf and as she watched the snowflakes dancing in the air, she felt at peace for the first time in weeks.

She went into town for no specific reason. It was cold, and few people were around.

When she passed him, she stopped for the first time.

She'd seen him before. A street musician. He was out and about quite a lot, always playing very tasteful music. She'd stopped and listened to him play several times, always leaving him with some of her spare change.

He looked frozen. Rose stood and listened and watched.

 

 

 

The snow was never good for him. It made his fingers clammy. He didn't have the money for a lot of clothes, it seemed, from his attire (or appropriate lack thereof). Fingers tinged pink by hands on the frets of an oaky acoustic guitar. His voice warbled behind a cold.

But he played. He played well, regardless. It was a shame his change plate remained empty.

Although, he'd watch her, too. Perhaps glad to finally have an audience.

 

She listened. He ended the song.

It occurred to her that she had never heard any of the songs he was playing before. Possibly his own compositions?

She clapped, then dug out her wallet. She didn't really want to leave; she had nowhere to be. She had little change on her; not enough.

Change in hand, she approached.

"You look frozen," she said, "and I don't have a lot of change on me. But if you want, I can buy you a coffee?"

 

He looked at her. Face brightening. But there was also a slight glance of awe in his eyes. "Sure!" he hesitantly agreed. "The name's Mr. Universe. Greg. Greg Universe." He stretched out a hand. Calloused with maps of ingrained lines from years of guitar play.

 

Rose smiled, amusement plain to see on her face.

"Well, then, Mr Universe," she said gently, "what do you fancy? I mean, we could just go to Starbucks but there is a nice quaint little cafe just around the corner from here which is far more... unique." She'd never really figured out why people liked Starbucks so much; the coffee was overpriced and no better than it was elsewhere.

 

"The smaller place sounds great." He flashed a little smile, stuffing his guitar into the bag behind him. "Sorry. Can't leave this behind."

 

Rose laughed lightly. "Of course!" She started to stroll towards the small cafe. Snow was still falling. She looked at Greg. "Your music is amazing," she said. "I've heard you a few times before. Are the songs your own compositions?"

 

"Some of ‘em. Covers get me more change, though. I guess that's just the business for ya." He looked around and followed her with the guitar strapped to his back. He looked freezing cold. Shaky in every step.

 

"Well, they're really good." She shot him another smile. "We're here," she then announced, pushing through the door into the tiny little cafe. Bells rang as the door closed behind them. Inside, it was blessedly warm. A few tables were occupied, but there was still more than enough space for them.

"Where would you like to sit?" Rose asked.

 

"Anywhere. Just not outside, if that's okay." He chuckled, rubbing his hands together for friction. "It's nice in here, though. Back there looks nice."

 

"Sure!" She made her way to the small table near the back and sat down, taking off coat and her scarf. She felt reminded of all the times she'd been in the cafe with Pearl, though this was different - a different cafe, a different person.

"What would you like?" she said, smiling. "My treat."

 

He looked at the dessert counter. Chocolate eyes widening. "Um. A coffee would be great!"

 

She watched him eyeing up the cake. "You can have something to eat, too, if you'd like," she said cheerfully. She fancied a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows herself. The weather was just right for that.

 

"That one." He pointed at the carrot cake. "He's the handsome one."

 

Rose chuckled. Handsome cake? Though, she had to admit... he did have a point.

"And here I thought you were the handsome one, Mr Universe," she said, casting him a grin. She was being silly, she knew, flirting with him five minutes after talking for the first time, but she was in high spirits for the first time in weeks and she wouldn't pass up the opportunity.

 

He looked back up at her, a smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. But I wouldn't compete with this cake in any form of pageant."

 

Rose laughed lightly. "Well, you're not even the same species." She took out her wallet and added, "I'll go up and order then, shall I? Just coffee and the cake for you, yeah?"

 

"Much appreciated." He nodded. A warm smile her way.

 

She went up and ordered the coffee and cake for Greg, and the hot chocolate for herself. She eyed up the cake, but decided against it; the hot chocolate would be plenty. She then returned to the table and smiled at Greg, not exactly sure how to proceed. Should she treat this like a date? (It wasn't.) Or like buying a random person coffee? (He wasn't all that random; or, at least, Rose hoped he wouldn't be by the end of this.) Like she was out with a friend?

She hoped he'd say something first.

 

They locked eyes for a brief moment. Greg seemed almost bewildered. Puzzled. And then, it was as if something clicked. He smiled, a little more confident. "So. What brings you to town central on this fine, cold-as-balls day?"

 

She smiled back at him, mused over his question for a few moments. She wasn't actually sure. "I mostly wanted to get out of the house," she said. "Had a couple stressful days." Understatement of the century. "How about you?"

 

"I need a little change. Employment is hard in a town so close to the school and university. All jobs get taken up by students and, well. It's no big deal. At least I get to do what I like." And develop pneumonia in the meantime. "It's not that bad. I know most of the townsfolk because of it. Keep seeing you listening and walking around town."

 

He was unemployed, with his music being his only income? Rose felt a pang of pity. She smiled at him. "Yes, I've seen you around lots of times before. I've always been intrigued by your music. It's exactly the kind of style I like."

 

"Oh, man!" His face brightened up. "Well. I'm sure glad I've at least got someone that likes it in this lonely little world. I could show you the stuff I've been working on!" He then frowned. "Or I left my stuff in the van. And that's no place for a lady. Or anyone. Literally. I can barely fit in to sleep. I think I have a problem."

 

"You... sleep in a van?" She frowned. "I'd love to see what you've been working on, though."

 

"Correction- I live in one. It's... A rent free lifestyle. Pretty indie. Until the cops arrive. And kick me out. And... this is. A really bad... first impression." He looked down, playing with his index fingers. He winced as he mentally slapped himself and then looked up. "Hey, check it out! Cake!"

 

She struggled for something to say for a moment, then gave him a smile. "It's not so bad. Alternative lifestyles are pretty cool, after all. Though it must be hard sometimes." She then smiled up at the waitress bringing their drinks and Greg's cake.

 

He took a sip of the coffee. "Oh, man! I can actually taste the coffee. Yeah. It's... your average dollar store life. But it's just me and... Y'know, I once had a shot with getting into the biz but oh, geeze - the drama. I'm not a drama guy. I'm a music man. And I'm happier just trying to make ends meet this way. The more people watching you, the less... 'you' you can be and it's hell." He then bit into the cake and his face brightened up. As if his vision was starry eyed. "You. Need. To try this cake. I cannot experience this moment on my own. Please try it. Oh man. Oh my god."

 

She listened, and then laughed lightly when he tried the cake. She took the spoon from her hot chocolate to slice a small bit off the cake and tried it.

"Yeah, it is quite amazing," she said. "The cake here is always really good." He was precious. Watching his face light up made her stomach feel weird, and not in a bad way.

 

He ate. He, unlike Pearl, only squared off a bit of the portion for Rose, and happily munched on the rest. No complaints. No resistance. Only thanks. Only happy little words and gentle compliments and tiny unrelated stories. His eyes looked up at her, a deep happiness in them. Pearl's always looked at her with admiration. Greg looked at her with an understood respect. An equal. He finished his cake and coffee. "That was. The best. Thank you!"

 

It was, she found, remarkably freeing to eat with someone who appreciated food this much. Who didn't have to be encouraged every step of the way.

She really needed to stop comparing him to Pearl.

"You're very welcome, Mr Universe," she said. She found she liked saying his name. "I'm glad you liked it. Maybe we should do this again?"

 

He blinked. A gentle flush over his cheeks. But unlike Pearl, there was no hiding. No lies. No facades. He winked and took a napkin. A pencil from behind his ear. Chewed and approximately two inches in length from use. "Here's my number. If you want some quality cheap van barbecue, just gimme a call. I'd love to get to know someone as wonderful as you better."

 

"Oh, absolutely!" She took the napkin and folded it neatly before putting it in her bag. "You're pretty wonderful yourself, Mr Universe." It was exciting. A new person in her life; someone who might be able to distract her from Pearl. "I'll be sure to call," she said, smiling at him.

 

He grinned. It was a crooked and toothy smile with a tiny set of finger guns shooting off as he replied. "I'll be looking forward to it." He already knew he wouldn't leave his phone until she did.

 


	24. Act IV - Chapter II: Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> Content warnings for this chapter: recreational drug use as well as discussions of transphobia, suicide, violence and abuse.

 

In the two weeks since Pearl had gone to hospital, Amethyst had memorised the way from school to Aurora's place, from her home to Aurora's place.

She'd never have thought she'd find such a good friend in Pearl's sister, of all people, but it turned out that they both hated being alone, and had a lot of their current problems in common. Amethyst raised one of her hands to ring the doorbell while digging the other one deep into her pocket.

 

Aurora had been preparing for this visit. House tidy and in her unique, near order. Something about spending time with Amethyst had relit her spirits. She'd not looked forward to things this much with Marigold - with whom she'd not had correspondence for two weeks. She dreaded to think of what the Principal was thinking. But with Amethyst's presence, there was little time to think.

 

When Aurora opened the door, Amethyst greeted her with a hug. "Hi Rori!" She let herself into the flat, taking off her boots. "How ya doing? I brought a few movies."

 

"Oh, excellent!" Aurora said from behind stitches holding her nose in place. Nasally. It didn't sound musical anymore.

It sounded like her, though.

She beckoned her guest in. "Popcorn at the ready."

 

"Awesome!" Amethyst followed her. "You got popcorn? That's so cool!" She set down her bag and rummaged it until she found the movies she brought.

"What'd you fancy?" she asked, holding them up to Aurora. Three movies: Silence of the Lambs, Avengers Assemble and Howl's Moving Castle.

 

Aurora spied her selection. "How wonderful, all will make me feel guilty at their pleasure. Hm. How's about you choose? I can mix drinks, too. A white Russian?"

 

Amy's face lit up. "Drinks!" she said, happily. "That sounds awesome!" She knew how Aurora's DVD player worked by now, so she stuck in Howl's Moving Castle and made herself at home on the couch.

 

Aurora gave her private smirk and went to the counter, finding the coffee liqueur and tumblers. The microwave pinged and she fetched out the salty, buttery white specks. "I hope it's cooked alright."

 

"Ah, man, Rori, like you ever made me anything that wasn't absolutely perfect. C'mon, get yo ass here, we have a movie to watch." She grinned at Aurora. When Rori was sitting next to her, Amethyst's expression fell a little. "You heard from Pearl at all?"

 

"I've had a lot of messages, but none from her. She doesn't have a phone yet or Internet access. She used to look at a lot of thinspo, so it probably needs to be treated first." She sighed. Reminding herself to delete all of Marigold's recent texts. They made her stomach turn.

 

Amethyst sighed. "D'you think the hospital will let you know when we can go visit her? I really miss her." More than two weeks since she'd had that fight with Pearl and threw her out of her house. Amethyst hadn't gone a single day without thinking about her friend.

 

"Soon. We're trying to secure a visit on Christmas at least. Whether or not we get that is only up to the hospital. I hope they show us mercy. I don't need any more bullshit." She finished making the Russians and brought the drinks back. "I'll get you a cab home. These get you fucked up. Unless you want to couchsurf again."

 

Amy shrugged exaggeratedly. "Eh, I don't mind. My parents don't care. And even if they do, I don't. I like being with you a lot more than I like being in their house." She took the drink from Aurora, eyeing it curiously.

 

"Oh, you'll like it. If there's one thing you learn by hanging out with Principal Diamond, it's surely how to enable her addiction by mixing a damn good drink."

 

Amy grinned and took a sip. Aurora was right. It was great.

"She's missing out," was Amethyst's honest opinion. "Why the fuck did she ditch you when you can make stuff like this."

 

"She. Didn't. Want. Bondage. Or any kinky things!" Aurora cried out. "She wouldn't even do maid outfits. Maids! That's like, the lowest spice on the steamy sex escheladder! It was all power and shitty control! Marigold this, Marigold that! Never-ever was it about moi. Me. Rori."

 

Amethyst looked at Aurora with wide eyes.

She couldn't really comment on any of the kinky sexy stuff for lack of experience, so she just gave a non-committal shrug. "She's an ass," she said.

 

"But, oh!" Aurora waved a hand over her face, pretending to be flustered. "What AN ass!"

 

Amethyst giggled. "To be honest I never really noticed her ass. Too busy being creeped out by her." She took another sip. "This stuff is so good."

 

"Yes - it's rather exemplary. I use soy milk. It's one way of feeling less like death. I think about death a lot." She smiled.

 

 

Amy set down her drink and put her arms around Aurora.

"Yo, maybe Pearl isn't the only one who needs therapy," she said. "This shit's got you all messed up, Rori."

 

"You think?" She rubbed at her head and sipped. "I'm not the same person I was."

 

"Yeah I think!" Amethyst nudged Rori with her elbow. "C'mon, at the very least it'll help you get away from her, right?"

 

"I want to stop thinking about the things she's going to do to Pearl when the new year starts."

 

"I'll protect her. No one touches Pearl." She cracked her knuckles. She'd gotten better at that. "Not even Principal Asswipe."

 

Aurora snorted. A loud, overjoyed and amused sound. "Principal Asswipe! Oh, Amy, you are too good. So, this film choice. I approve."

 

"Heh, that's good. You've seen it before, right?" On screen, Sophie had just been turned into an old woman and started working for Howl.

 

"I went through a phase with Japanese animated cinema. I really liked it until my last year of school. I don't know - I grew disillusioned and busy."

 

"It's one of my favourite movies. I used to watch it all the time when I was a kid." She grinned up at Aurora. "So you're a closet weeb too, huh?"

 

"That is slander! Lies! I'm no weeaboo. Merely a spectator of the culture."

 

Amethyst cackled and poked Rori in the ribs. "Weeeeeeeb."

 

"Slander," she hissed again, but eyes sparkling in good humour. "This one I remember being good, though."

 

Amy laughed. "That's cus you're a weeb. And also cus it's good. But also cus you're a weeb."

 

"Yes. I guess you're correct." She gave in, drinking on her weeaboo sorrows.

 

"Heh. Don't pull that face, it's cool. Anime is awesome." Amethyst drank some more of the alcohol and leaned her head against Aurora's shoulder.

 

Aurora bit her tongue. A part of her realising how truly inappropriate this was. She drew back. "Popcorn. Mm."

 

Amy pulled a face when Aurora withdrew, but sat up straight. "Sorry," she mumbled, reaching for the popcorn.

 

No. No, Aurora wasn't ready to have feelings for a while. Especially not for young Amethyst. It was bad. Stay away. Be friends. She liked being friends. "Thanks!"

 

"Eh, that's alright." Pearl was easier to cuddle than Rori. Amethyst missed Pearl.

She focussed on the movie for the first time since she'd put it on. Grabbed some more popcorn.

 

"Any plans for next week?" Aurora asked. "I think there's an event at the park, ice skating and all that kinda stuff. I was thinking - what if we went out and bought Pearlie a Christmas present!"

 

"Dude, I never have plans. And I'm happy for any excuse to get away from my parents. Let's do it." She wondered what Rori had in mind for Pearl's present.

 

"Next Thursday sound good? Awfully close to Christmas, but we'll hold on in the holiday rush."

 

"Sounds good to me! I don't mind people." It would be crowded. But Amethyst could deal with that. She was excited at the prospect of picking out a present for Pearl.

 

"I'll pick you up in the Jeep." Aurora winked and carried on watching the film. "The animation is so pretty. I used to really like art, you know?"

 

"That's cool! I dunno what I like. I mostly hate everything equally but some things suck a little bit less." Amy shrugged.

 

"Yeah, I guess." Aurora nodded. "Like, I was never super good at fine arts but I'm okay with makeup. I really like it."

 

"You should do that," Amethyst said. "Like, y'know, after you finish this shitty job. Be a makeup artist. Hey, if you want, you can practice your skills on me."

 

"Um, YES!" She clapped her hands excitedly. "We'll go shopping for some new things to try out on you when we go Pearl-shopping, alright?"

 

"Yeah! You got like, shit tons of money, right? It's gonna be awesome." Amethyst stretched. "You got anything in mind for what you're gonna get Pearl?"

 

"I have more money than I could hope to spend. What a terrible problem." Aurora winked, but then sighed. "Though, I should think about saving up. Marigold... Principal Diamond isn't going to be pleased when I come back." She clenched a fist. "That's okay, though. I intend to make her life miserable. Hey. You'll... you'll help me get revenge somehow, right?"

 

Amy laughed. "Am gonna try for sure," she said. "That woman needs a kick in the butt for how she treated you. And Pearl. And everyone else in this school who's ever had to suffer from her awfulness."

 

She gave a deep frown. "Maybe..." Thoughts of how Marigold had treated kids in her year flooded back. She'd always been good. She'd always recieved the best of Marigold's soft spot. But then.

But then, not everyone had survived Marigold just as well as her.

She noticed her hands shaking as she remembered him.

 

"Oh yeah, wasn't there even a kid who died some years ago?" Amy rambled on, not noticing Aurora's distress. "Like, offed herself because of Diamond's bullying or something? I've heard rumours but nothing concrete. Do you know anything about that?"

 

Aurora twitched. "His name was Lars." The words came through chaste, gritted teeth. Her mouth went dry. Her lips stung. Her throat suddenly dry.

Eyes began to wet. "I didn't think anything of it. I didn't... do anything."

She trembled as a memory came back. It had been over five years ago. It had been different. She'd been different.

"I... I made fun of him, too."

 

Amethyst shuffled, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Yo, you were just a kid," she said, "you couldn't have done anything, right? If Diamond bullied him to death then it sure as hell wasn't your fault." But she felt it. She'd spent days worrying about Pearl before being told she was in hospital. Worrying Pearl might have done something to herself, knowing she'd never forgive herself if she had.

 

"I was there. I saw the way Marigold spoke to him. First hand. 'Abomination'. 'Disgusting!' 'Tran-'..." She caught herself. Eyes wide hands digging into hair. Breathing hard. She couldn't keep herself in control. In touch. "It was cruel. It was so cruel. He was younger than me by a few months. I'd known him for so long and when he came out, I did nothing. No one was there for him. He was all alone."

 

"Surely... someone must have...?" Amethyst thought of Buck Dewey in her year. He'd come out two years ago, and he had many friends and many who supported him. "Most people in school are really cool with trans guys, right? Didn't - didn't anyone -? Not one of the teachers, like, Miss Quartz? She likes her projects, right, people that she can fix? She must've..." Amethyst fell silent. What if Rose hadn't?

 

"Laramy... Lars died nearly five years ago. Maybe someone tried, but... imagine the world five years ago. You didn't know trans people that well, did you? It was such a foreign concept and I was so hateful. I hated myself for being gay. I was... homophobic too, you know."

 

Amy shrugged, a little helpless. "I'unno," she said. "But... but you were a kid, Rori. It's not your fault. It's really not. And things are different now, it's all getting better." She wanted to hug Rori, wasn't sure she should, so she folded her hands in her lap.

 

 

Aurora’s hands dug into her scalp. "I killed him. I killed him, Amy. I enabled him to kill himself." She scrunched her face and brought her knees to her lap. "Oh, what am I doing. I'm meant to be the older one here. I'm meant to be strong right now. But... he's gone. And the only thing I can do is save anyone else who might be hurt." Pearl. Pearl. Her sister. Marigold had a target. Marigold would attack. She would. Pearl. Pearl.

No.

No.

"Principal Diamond must fall."

 

"Hey," Amethyst said, "hey." She finally reached out and pried Aurora's hands away from her scalp. She frowned. "It's okay, Rori," she said, her heart fluttering nervously. "We'll protect Pearl, yeah? We'll protect her and she'll be okay. She's always gonna have me. And you. She's not gonna be alone, yeah?"

Except Pearl and Amy had fought, just before Pearl had been taken in. Except Pearl and Aurora had fought too. Amethyst felt worry deep in her belly. What if Pearl hated her? Hated them?

 

The thoughts found an echo in Aurora. "What if she hates me? I did the one thing she never wanted and she's a prisoner in her hospital bed. She's getting everything she hates and it's because of me. Am I any better? Enforcing my beliefs. What if... I'm just as abusive as her?"

 

Amy looked at Rori.

"No, man, listen to me," she said. "I saw her before you took her to hospital, right? If you hadn't done that she would have starved herself to death. She was so thin, Rori. You didn't do anything wrong, okay? She would have died." Maybe she was exaggerating - but she kind of doubted it.

 

Aurora touched her scars. Gently. Pearl.

"I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm so scared of everything. I'm scared of leaving the school. Mari is my security. She's my everything. Pearl. I'm scared of her being hurt. I'm scared of her hurting me. I'm scared of Rose being hurt. I'm scared of you being hurt. And then... who's looking out for me now that Principal Diamond isn't here? I'm so... weak and codependent and pathetic. I'm..." She hugged Amethyst. "I'm nothing. Blue was right, she was so right."

 

Amethyst hugged her back, tight.

"It's okay," she said. "It's okay." She wondered how she managed to stay calm. When Pearl had displayed her issues to her, Amy had freaked out, not known how to deal. Maybe it was because abuse was something she knew and faced on a daily basis?

"You'll find people to look out for you," she said. "She kept you on a short leash, yeah? She's abusive. It's what abusers do, they isolate their victims. I read about it. I - my parents... I don't want to talk about it but let's just say I've seen it, yeah? You'll be free of her and you'll have your own life. You've got me, for starters, I'll help you." She squeezed Rori.

 

"Oh, Amy," Rori whispered. Cuddling into her hug. The holiday season had given her a few pounds and it just made her hug harder and look festive. "Oh, Amy. Just... come and live with me after school. I have a spare room. I need someone in my life to not make me insane."

 

Amy laughed, nervously. "Um, sure. I mean, provided I actually know what I wanna do with my life by then." She shrugged. "But I could live with you. You know how to make awesome cocktails. Gonna be super useful at Uni, right?" She grinned at Rori.

 

"I'm just going to the local one. It's ten minutes by car. I could even walk it. So I'll just stay in this pad. I've already nearly cleared the mortgage and it's a studio apartment, so it's pretty good for a safety net."

 

"Oh man! You actually own this place? That's so cool!" Amy grinned. "Ya think I could move in here? Or would you wanna find something else?"

 

"I'm content with staying here. Don't worry about rent or food. Stay whenever. Just tell me when you're out. And no dogs. That's the one rule."

 

"Anything's better than my parents, really," Amethyst said. "You have _no idea_ how long I've wanted to move out. Long, that's how long. And I'm a legal adult now so I could actually do that?" Her eyes were wide with joy and excitement at the possibilities. "I just wanna leave asap, ya know?"

 

"Do you need money to move?" Aurora rubbed away her teary eyes. "I can help."

 

"I dunno. Just, I have loads of stuff. So much stuff. And it's all so important to me." She hadn't been able to clean her room in years - everything was too precious to throw away. "I dunno."

 

"You can keep as much of your stuff as you want here. The spare room is pretty big. I've just been keeping my laptops in there."

 

Amethyst laughed, flustered. "Laptops, like, plural? Amazing. But seriously, Rori, you have no idea how much stuff I have. Too much stuff. Tell you what, I'll go to mine and see what I really, _really_ wanna keep and see how much that is, yeah?"

 

Aurora shrugged. "School records. Everyone needs to be logged. Even you have one. Pearl's is... fun."

 

Amy gaped. "You know what everyone in the school's been up to? What does mine say? Can you show me?"

 

"Sure." Rori shrugged. "I've shifted gears from neutral good to chaotic good. Let's find you. Last name?"

 

"Alonzo." Amethyst lightly punched Aurora's arm. "Ya gonna be such a rebel, man."

 

"Alonzo." She waited for a few precious seconds as the computer booted up. A macbook. Expensive. The whole thing ran at lightning speed. "Ahah. A comprehensive list of your antics and reports from nursery. Oh. You used to look so cute! And those grades were good! I failed those junior tests so badly. Couldn't get my head around literacy."

 

Amethyst blushed when she saw the picture of herself. "Yeah," she said. "That was back when I still cared about stuff." She dreaded to see what Aurora would think of her high school records.

 

"Here we go. Year seven is usually when it gets interesting, see, already a few comments about... detentions..." She scrolled down and her eyes widened. On impulse, she stopped and turned. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be the one reading this."

 

"Eh, I don't mind." Not really - not enough to voice it. "If we're gonna be living together, you'd better know what you're up against, eh?"

 

"No, but this is... personal. They're talking about wondering about your home life and things you said when you were eleven. It's... I should at least show you mine."

 

Amy shrugged. She... she hadn't realised her teachers had been worried about her. She remembered a few questioning looks at things she'd said, but nothing more.

"I don't mind," she said again. "You can show me if you want. Got any dirty secrets on yours?"

 

"It's better seen." She said with a little look of longing. "I've been on it a lot. I even changed my last name on it to my preferred one."

Her fingers tapped over the keyboard.

_Aurora Jaune_

 

"You have a preferred last name?" Amethyst came a bit closer, peeked over Aurora's shoulder. "What's wrong with the one you had before?" Pearl's last name.

 

She shrugged. "Just don't like it. It isn't me." She scrolled down, pulling up her profile.

Two small girls in her nursery picture. One had longer hair but identical facial features. "They even put Blue here. Isn't that funny?"

 

"Well, you're twins, aren't you? Did she always have her fringe that long? You can barely see her eyes." Amy leaned in a little closer, examining tiny Aurora and Blue.

 

Aurora gave a shrug. "Aesthetic." Blue had always been a little... different.

 

"Cute. She still do that? With the fringe?"

 

"Yeah. It's blue right now. She's into that aesthetic. Grew up to be a massive bondage nerd. Video game development as a career."

 

"Oh my god, that's so cool. Does she have a thing with her boss as well?" Amethyst joked.

 

"Honestly? With this family's history, I would not be surprised." She rolled her eyes. Knowing all too much and internalising it. "But yes. This is me. These are my grades. These are all the comments left by my teacher telling my parents and other staff I'm a loser with no friends and will never be popular."

 

"Better than my teachers telling my parents they should probably look after me better, and me getting yelled at at home for letting teachers know. Which, for the record, I never did, but the teachers talked to my parents anyways. They should've just talked to me instead. Maybe that would've actually accomplished anything." She was surprised at how suddenly everything came out of her. All those things she'd been bitter about for years. She'd been convinced her teachers hated her and did this on purpose to get her into trouble at home.

 

She listened to Amethyst, scrolling down. The words began to grow from 'nervous' and 'lonely' to 'ambitious' and 'aggressive'. Personality issues. Lonely. And then. "Blue left to go to college at sixteen for games design."

 

"Good for her." Amethyst was barely paying attention to Rori's records anymore. "Wish I'd moved out at sixteen. What's even the point of school, really."

 

"Marigold held an assembly about how great sixth form was. I listened to it like gospel. Did she give you the same one?"

 

"I dunno. Pretty sure I skipped that one. I didn't care enough." By sixth form, Amethyst knew what was important and what wasn't and assemblies reliably weren't.

 

"I still go to them sometimes." Aurora looked ashamed. "Hearing her talk got me all pumped up."

 

Amethyst scoffed. "Of all the things you can say about Principal D, 'inspiring' isn't exactly the first thing that comes to mind."

 

"You don't understand. She was everything to me."

 

"No, I don't," Amethyst said, hard. "I also don't understand Pearl's stupid crush on Quartz. Or the need to suck up to older women in general. Or to anyone. I just wanna be free and have my own say over what happens to me."

 

"I suppose it's not a common problem. But I'm sorry if you can't relate. I'm here if you... wanna talk?"

 

Amethyst's shoulders slumped. "It's not even like there's even much to talk about." She sat in silence for a long moment. She'd never even told Pearl about her parents. None of her other 'friends' knew what was going on. None of her teachers. She sighed, grabbing a pillow and pulling into her lap, her fingers digging into it aggressively.

"Dad's in prison, again. I just don't understand why mom keeps taking him back. He gets out, acts all redeemed and like he never ever wanted to hurt her. Give it a month, maybe two, he'll be drunk and beating her up again. I wasn't even at home the last time it happened, I got home and saw the police cars because at least she has the guts to call the cops now when it happens. I don't understand, it's happened so many times now, why can't she just tell him to fuck off when he gets out?" She felt tears in her eyes. "I was... I fought him, when I was eleven. Had connections through my friends and learned how to fight. I was small and he was hurting my mom and I just wanted him to leave. That was the first time he went to prison, cus seeing me fight my mum finally got to her senses and called the cops on his ass. She was nice to me after that. For an entire three months and then she was back to just liking the idea of me and yelling at me every other day for something I couldn't change." She wiped furiously at her eyes. She hated crying. She hated being weak. "As if it was my fault I got born. As if it was my fault Dad beat her up all the time. I didn't ask to be born, ya know? If I'd been asked, I would've chosen never to exist at all."

 

Aurora stood up. Internalising Amy's entire speech. "Hey. I'm busting you out. You can definitely live here indefinitely. Is it safe at home? You don't need to go back for as long as you don't want to. And listen." She wrapped her arms around Amy. "I'm glad you're here. I'm really, really glad I've met you. Please. Don't say that about yourself. You're worth so much."

 

Amy shrugged. She struggled against Rori's grip and hid her face from her friend. She already regretted telling her. Seeing Aurora pity her was worse than she'd thought it would be.

"Don't worry about me," she said. "I'm alright, ok? I can deal with it. And I know exactly how much I'm worth and it's exactly nothing but that's okay too."

 

"Please, no. I'm so sorry. I'm not good with... this part. I'm only good at the worrying and trying to prevent the inevitable."

 

Amethyst rolled her eyes. "Look, I'm not gonna do a Pearl, okay? Not gonna off myself or starve myself or do any of the fucked up shit she does. I can just live with it. There's nothing to worry about."

 

"But I don't want you to live in hell any longer. I know what it's like. I want you to be free, too."

 

"It's not hell, it's normal. For me, at least. But if I can move here that would be awesome." She cast a tentative smile at Aurora, then came in and hugged her again. "You know you're pretty cool yourself, right?"

 

"I try. I always feel like I can't keep up with your year. Everyone that comes and goes just feels so different. I'm not a kid anymore but often, I just struggle to relate to Pearl. But she does close herself from me."

 

"Me, too, man." Amethyst sighed. "Seems the only one she ever really opened up to was bloody Miss Quartz, eh? And she had to go and dump her like that. What an ass."

 

Aurora blinked. "She had to, you know. She was given no other choice. Marigold did... things when she found them. She's on the warpath to another Lars incident."

 

Oh. Nobody had... told Amethyst that before. She felt instantly guilty for being so angry at Rose. "Oh no," she said, "oh no. But still!" The anger flared up again, just briefly. "She should have told Pearl, and not made up some bullshit excuse about having too much work or whatever."

 

"How would you feel in her position? Trying to help someone and being called a disgusting pedo for it? They're not sexual. At least I honestly don't think they are." Aurora sighed. "It doesn't matter. They're both adults. Pearl was getting better."

 

"She lost weight again!" Amethyst was still upset. "Even Quartz said that when I talked to her. She said she didn't notice until it was too late. Pearl wasn't getting better, only at pretending everything was fine! And now Quartz has gone and made everything worse." She crossed her arms.

 

"No one knew until it was too late. We've got to focus on helping her instead of blaming ourselves. We're going to have to forgive Miss Quartz."

 

Amethyst huffed and didn't reply. She wasn't ready to forgive Rose. She would forgive Rose when her teacher showed her she actually gave a shit about Pearl.

 

"It doesn't need to happen today. Just someday soon. More for yourself than her benefit. I know it might feel like she doesn't deserve it."

 

"Damn right she doesn't. She still led Pearl on." Amethyst frowned deeply. "She knows Pearl loves her and she's been encouraging her and now she just drops her and expects her to be fine? Psh."

 

"How do you know that she was fine with it?" Aurora asked, genuinely curious.

 

Amethyst bared her teeth. "She just gave me detention when I told her she'd hurt Pearl. She just didn't seem to care at all." That wasn't quite true. She remembered very well the look of worry and guilt on Rose's face when she'd confronted her. But Amethyst was hell bent on hating her. She wouldn't let her get off this easily.

 

"She doesn't want to accept she's hurt anyone. That's a pretty human thing to do. But I agree - a detention for your upset is unacceptable."

 

"I didn't go. She knows better than to call my mum." Amethyst hadn't had any negative repercussions from not going to Rose's detention at all; Rose hadn't even mentioned it the next biology lesson. She'd merely told her that Pearl was ill and unlikely to come back before the holidays. It had sounded deliberately vague, and Amethyst had all but cold-shouldered her.

 

"That's good. Odd she'd do that. Maybe... she just wanted to sit and talk? It must've been hard to bring it up near class."

 

Amethyst gave a non-committal shrug. "Might be. I don't really care. You'll take me to see Pearl, though, right? When she can have visitors."

 

"Yes. Of course. I would never say that and not deliver."

 

"Awesome. Hah, how surprised d'you think she'll be? Her friend living with her sister." Amy laughed.

 

"Yeah, well. It'll mean we can both keep an eye on her." Rori shrugged and grabbed the mixer. "We need. More alcohol. This is the point where Blue would grab the grinder and start rolling, hah. She and I used to go nuts at our own little parties."

 

Amethyst grinned. "I got some weed," she said. She'd run out of the eighth Pearl had given her, but she knew people; she'd managed to find a dealer pretty quickly. "I even learned how to roll. I'm pretty shit, though."

 

Aurora rolled her eyes. She scoffed. "Amateur. If there's one thing I ever learnt from my sister, it's how to roll like a jolly damn pro."

 

"Pearl knows how to roll, too. But hey, if you want, I can get the stuff and you can roll?" She grinned at Aurora, then got up and dug through her bag until she found what she was looking for.

 

"I am not a stoner. Get that thought out of your head if it ever finds its way there. Got any papers?" Aurora sat up and looked at the weed. "You gonna be okay handling green and alcohol?"

 

Amethyst shrugged. "Done it before," she said. "Had a massive hangover but whatever. I'll be fine." She handed it to Aurora.

 

"If you're sure." She examined the bud and gave a stiff look. "Nice pull. Which fifteen year old did you pull that off at the park? I bet he was wearing khaki shorts and his name was Toby." She then began to giggle. "I can hook you up with someone who'll give you your worth. But this is interesting."

 

Amethyst frowned, then laughed. "How'd you know? But sure. I'm sure you know all about it. Pearl already knew far more about this kind of thing than I would have thought. I shouldn't be surprised you know even more."

 

"Blue's influence lives in all of us. All hail the stoner queen." Aurora giggled. "Could you go and get a pitcher of water? We will need it to rehydrate." Safe drug use was a priority.

 

"Sure." Amy got up and went into Aurora's kitchen. She'd been here often enough to know her way around. The thought that this was also going to be _her_ kitchen soon made her excited. She filled up a pitcher of water and brought it back to Aurora.

 

"Thanks!" She'd rolled to perfection. "Want to smoke on the patio? It should be dark out already."

 

"Sure." She followed Aurora out and sat down, looking up at Aurora expectantly.

 

Aurora smiled and threw Amy a bundle. "It's a Slanket. A blanket, but with sleeves! It's yellow because... well. Yellow is sort of my thing. So you won't get cold."

 

Amy slipped inside gratefully. It was cold out. "That's so cool," she said. "I want seventy."

 

Aurora brought a canary ashtray. "The seats hopefully aren't covered in snow."

 

Amy shrugged and made herself at home. She was impatient, so she held out her hand to Rori for the joint, wanting to light up.

 

A quick pass. "We can have cookies for munchies. If that's agreeable?"

 

"I'll eat anything when I'm high." Or in general, really. The last thing Amethyst was was fussy with her food. She took her lighter and lit up, taking a deep drag from the joint, exhaling, then taking another hit before passing the joint to Aurora.

 

She nodded thanks and took a small hit. "I don't smoke much. Keeps it cost effective."

 

"I only really started when I became friends with P." Amy smiled into the distance. "Did you know I kissed her when we first got high together? It was great at the time." And then she'd woken up sober and regretted everything. Felt embarrassed, anxious. "I wanna kiss her again."

 

"You like her!" Aurora beamed, snickering already. "Oh goodness, and the plot thickens! Not only Rose but now you!"

 

Amy narrowed her eyes. "Course I do," she said, "wasn't it obvious? And she likes... liked kissing me. I think. God knows how she feels about me, really."

 

"It's all complicated. Feelings. I'm older than you and still don't have my shit together. And don't get me started on Diamond."

 

Amy contemplated that for a moment.

She then said, "It's all easier when you're high." Took the joint from Aurora and had another drag.

 

"Or drunk." She gave a forlorn look into the distance. The city skyline almost purple. "I was fine, the drinks; that then and again she would sip. I was fine, with a glass or two. That was all she'd had as far as I knew."

 

Amethyst fell silent, listened. Marigold.

She couldn't count how many times Aurora had brought her up over the past few weeks. Too many times to be healthy, for sure. But Amy's role just now was just to listen. Let Aurora work through the hurt.

 

"I thought I'd be fine, when the day came. Until then, it was all a silly game. Alcohol, she would choose. And then fuck me to get rid of her blues. "

 

"And you just let her." It was just a small, quiet comment. Amethyst felt like, at the very least, she wouldn't let anyone do that to her; she'd gone through hell before she finished puberty and nobody would ever be allowed to own her again.

She fell silent again.

 

She nodded and looked forlornly into the distance. "It's over, isn't it? The drinking bit, isn't it over?" And then under her breath. "It's over, isn't it over. She changed, and I lost her. And I loved her and she's gone. It's over, Amy, how do I move on?"

 

"You just gotta. Move forward." Amethyst didn't really know what to say. "And have another hit," she then said, passing the joint back to Aurora.

 

She took a hit and scoffed. "Power and love, manipulation. Set completely by her determination. Out in the office, there she'd keep me. Trapped, alone, abandoned. But really, who am I now in this world without her? Lost in this wreckage, am I right to doubt her? I really just wanna go back to her door, but I know Pearl matters more."

 

 _That she does_. Amy didn't say anything, just listened. Aurora seemed to need to get this off her chest.

 

"It's over, isn't it? The drinking bit, isn't it over?" She repeated, lost in the view of the skyline. Taking a hit as she walked forward into the frosty cold in her snuggie. "She changed, and I lost her! And I loved her and she's gone!" She threw the blunt over the balcony in frustration. "Oh. The blunt’s over. Maybe we should roll another one? Good idea, let's roll another one."

 

 

"Why the hell did you do that," Amethyst said, shaking her head mildly. "But sure. You feelin' better? We can hug it out if you want."

 

"I'll be okay. I think that really helped. Sorry about the bud." Aurora sat down with a sigh. "Sorry about laying all this on you."

 

"Hey, no, it's okay. You're allowed to talk about it, it's okay to think about it. It's not like you can really tell anyone else, right? Wait, does Blue know?" From what she'd gathered, Aurora and her twin were pretty close.

 

“Blue thinks I’m a hopeless case.” Aurora shrugged. “She knows, of course. Since year one she’s been telling me to get safe, but did I listen? No. Of course I knew better than my high school drop-out, druggie of a sister.” She balled her fists. “I was so angry when she left school. We… grew distant because she left me behind and yeah, we still talk a lot. Daily, if not a few times a week but… Christ. I should have treated her better. At least her relationship is… pretty good. Her life is pretty good. Everything is good for her because she actually listened to what _she_ wanted.”

 

Amethyst listened.

“Sounds like she’s got her life all sorted out,” she said. “What does she do again? Also, do you wanna go back inside? It’s kinda cold and you threw the joint away.” She shook her head, still not quite understanding why Aurora had done that.

 

“Games development. She went to community college and did really well at her course. Now earns thirty ‘k a year and seems to be alright in her studio pad.” She punched at the door. Lightly. “Two more thousand than me, damnit. I’m meant to be the successful one. But… I guess I can’t ask Diamond for a raise anymore. Well. She already gave me a bonus, but I can’t compete with Blue. She’s… also in a relationship with her boss.”

 

Amethyst laughed out loud. “What, really? Oh my god, Rori, you weren’t kidding when you said it runs in the family. Is Blue okay, though?” She squeezed past Rori to open the door and slip inside. Snow was falling lightly and Amethyst was getting cold. “I mean, we already have two prime examples in your family of relationships like this going horribly wrong, don’t we?”

 

“No. She’s doing just fine.” She gritted teeth. “People actually know about their relationship. She doesn’t have to hide it. She wouldn’t. If she faced someone like… my… Principal Diamond, she’d have the balls to stand up for herself. Blue’s… yikes. I should probably call her and ask for help.”

 

Amy shrugged. “You do you,” she said. “I’mma roll another joint.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... you may have noticed the cheeky insertion of an adapted "It's over isn't it" in this chapter...
> 
> Well, sockseevil went and performed it. [Check it out!](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/post/152348703774/i-was-fine-the-drinks-that-then-and-again-she) *fawns quietly* he's so talented!  
> (In case you didn't know, we're dating...)
> 
> Also, it looks like we've cleared the 100k mark. Which is funny! The entire fic is barely even halfway done. Got a lot of fun things to come!


	25. Act IV - Chapter III: Spine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do check out [this gorgeous fanart of Aurora](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/post/152967185734/yellow-pearl-better-known-as-aurora-in-educating) from our fan umeki-nara on tumblr! We love it so much!
> 
> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> Content warnings for this chapter: drug use and injury (blood).

Amethyst had smoked herself out. Aurora pulled a blanket over her and watched her for a few brief moments. For the first time in five years, she had a friend. And she, too, would be under threat from Marigold.

Aurora found herself forcing her legs to move. She needed to do it. Call Blue.

If she had any hope of protecting Pearl, or Amy, or Rose, it needed to come from this. She wasn’t strong enough on her own. She could only barely tear herself away from this relationship. The academic year wasn’t over. It was barely halfway there.

She needed to survive this.

Aurora padded to the kitchen, where her phone lay. She caught herself in the mirror, spooked by her own reflection in a state of cannabis-laden paranoia. Her eyes were dry and red, and deep circles lay beneath the hazel. The scars and her now twisted nose looked out of place, as if a prosthetic.

Was she ugly now?

Was that the reason Marigold had done this?

She closed her eyes. No.

_No. Don’t look._

_Don’t look at your face._

The phone. She couldn’t succumb to her thoughts. The cannabis was making her all too introspective. She could feel her body almost convulse under its own energy.

_But, really, I deserve this._

She took a hitched breath.

_I deserve all of this. I’m terrible._

Her fingers thumbed her scars once more.

She’d done all this to herself because she deserved it. She’d put Pearl in hospital. She’d fucked her way into her job.

_Slut. I’m a fucking slut. I’m disgusting._

She suddenly felt the urgent need to just wipe off her genitals. Staple them down like a Ken doll. Gross. Her skin crawled. Marigold had touched that skin. Kissed it. Bit it.

_Smash._

Her hand bled. The mirror shattered.

“Jesus.” She looked at the cracked reflection. “I’m bleeding all too much these days.”

She needed to get to the phone. No distractions. Stopping this bullshit. She cradled the handset, pulling up her sister on speed dial. Blue. She needed to talk to Blue.

 

Blue’s phone rang.

Blue reached for it, missed, groaned, and turned around. She needed to shut off this noise before Azure woke up.

Her fingers found her phone. She caught a glimpse of the time and frowned.

But it was Aurora, so she couldn’t bring herself to just hang up on her. If Rori was calling in the middle of the night, it was probably important.

_Maybe news from Pearl? Has little Pearlie done something again? Or maybe she’s just having another breakdown…_

 She took her phone up, sliding to answer the call.

“What the hell, Rori, do you even know what time it is?” She was whispering, but she knew exactly that Rori would understand her perfectly well.

Next to Blue, Azure stirred. Blue’s heart sped up.

 

 

Aurora stiffened on her end, her hand was warm. Blood dried against her phone. She didn’t really care anymore. “I need your help, Blue.” She tried to control the shakiness in her voice and instead ended up sounding slurred. Oh geeze, Blue was going to figure out she was stoned and not take her seriously. “It’s important. No. I’m not going to wait until tomorrow. I will call your landline if you hang up.”

 

Blue sat up, alarmed.

Aurora’s voice was shaky, the way it wasn’t usually, or actually ever. The only other time Blue had heard Rori sound like that was… during a particularly bad high.

“Shit, Rori, you ok?” Her whispers turned more frantic. She got off the bed. Azure turned and looked at her sleepily, a question in her eyes, but Blue just waved her hand at her to go back to sleep. “Gimme a sec, okay?” She tiptoed out of the room and made her way to the kitchen, where she sat on the floor. “I’m not gonna hang up,” she said, no longer whispering. “I’m here. Tell me what happened, Rori.”

 

“So. You remember that one time I vowed never to get high literally ever again, and you were all like ‘well, after a trip _that bad,_ I wouldn’t suggest it either’ and it was all good? Well. Not anymore. But that isn’t relevant. Listen. I… It’s Marigold feelings. I’m really tempted to call her back. Right now. And… take the blame for _everything_.”

 

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Well, the first thing you’re gonna do is _not that_ ,” Blue said, harshly. “It’s not your fault, alright? And if you give her even the tiniest indication that you feel this way, she’ll turn it around on you. Don’t call her or text her or do anything. Are you safe?” Last time Rori had been this high, she’d gotten so bad she’d injured herself. Maybe it had happened again. “Fuck, are you all by yourself right now?”

 

“There’s a girl in my guest room, but she’s high and presumably asleep till… noon. You know how teenagers get.” Aurora pinched the bridge of her nose in agitation and then yelped in pain. “I’m… bleeding.” Shit. “But don’t worry, I’ll deal. It’s not self harm, just an accident. But… I don’t know. I just feel so lost right now. And going back in… It’s only a few days till Christmas, and then school is going to start and she’s going to be there. I’m _scared_ , Blue. I’m scared of her. I’m scared of myself.”

 

Blue hissed.

“What did you do?” Her other hand, the one not holding the phone, clenched itself into a painful fist. “Are you hurt badly, do I need to call you an ambulance? You know I’ll do it, Rori. Let’s worry about all the Marigold shit later and take care of you right now, okay? It doesn’t matter right now.”

She paused, then added, “And what the hell are you doing with a teenage girl in your guest room, anyway? Really, Rori.”

 

“Shut up. She lives here now.” Aurora rolled her eyes. “Get with the programme, Blue. Don’t you dare call me an ambulance, you know I can cope on my own with this kind of thing. I’m not… Pearl.” Oh. That was cruel. “Regardless, the Marigold ordeal is on my mind right now and you have no idea how terrible it feels. It’s like the floorboards to my house just got nicked. I have nothing to stand on, nothing to depend on. She’s been controlling me for five years, how the hell am I meant to control myself?”

 

Blue cursed under her breath. “Fine. No ambulance. But Rori, you still have other people. Like Amethyst. Even though I don’t understand how she moved in with you in the past three days and you somehow neglected to tell me that, hah. But anyway, you also have me, Rori. You seem to forget that a lot. But I’m still your big sister, alright?”

 

“Listen here, _Blueberry¸_ you’re thirteen minutes older, you little shit,” she hissed down the line and then awkwardly looked into Amethyst’s direction. “Just because you were right about my relationship being shit for five years doesn’t give you…. Okay, it gives you some upper ground. But I’m hanging up if you’re going to talk down to me.” Her eyes snapped open. Was this it? Was this her… actually standing up for herself? Wait. She did this with everyone else.

Everyone but Marigold.

Her jaw dropped. “Blue. Holy shit. I need to be this bitchy to her!”

 

Blue gaped for a moment at Rori’s sudden realisation, then laughed out so loudly that she was almost worried about waking Azure. “Wow, Rori, that took you a long time! Like, about, what. Five years? And it’s not like I could’ve told you that from the beginning or anything. You find your spine yet? It must be there somewhere, hidden deep in the recesses of oh-my-god-Marigold-is-so-great-and-treats-me-so-well-and-oh-no-she-threw-me-out-of-her-house-again-this-is-only-the third-time-this-week-though-so-it’s-not-actually-that bad, Blue!” She laughed again. “Glad that message finally got through to you.”

 

“Message received.” Aurora rolled her eyes. “I forgot that you’re still not out of your victim blaming phase. It’s alright, you’ll get there someday. Love you, though. But this is something, I feel I’ve made a breakthrough. Stop laughing at me. Stop. I’m going to hang up! Thanks. Alright. This… yeah. This is a mess. I’m trapped here at least until Pearl leaves. What do I do? How the fuck do I face the woman who had three fingers in me like some form of fuck-puppet? Piss off Kermit, there’s a new muppet in town! How can I go back in? How do I deal with her?”

 

Blue was still chuckling, but not outright laughing anymore. This was serious, at least for Aurora.

“Just go in,” she said, “and be like, Fuck you Marigold, I’ve got enough savings to piss off and travel the world, without you, and by the way you suck, and the sex wasn’t even that great, have fun dealing with your alcoholism by yourself, you ass. No? No good? Oh man, I thought it was a great idea.” She laughed again. “Okay, how about this? You just go in, do your job and nothing more, and refuse to talk to her about anything that isn’t strictly professional. And hand in your notice for the end of term. Make her regret dumping you by being the best you can be, right where she can see you, and then leaving. How’s that?”

 

“Alright,” Aurora said, “I can handle that. You know I struggle being bad when you aren’t around. But, I can excel at being obnoxiously good at the thing I do.” She gave a sly nod. And then frowned. “What about Pearl? She’ll be in danger the second she steps foot in school. You know that Marigold figured out she hurt me.”

 

Blue fell silent, thought for a moment.

“You’ll need people on your side,” she then said. “Marigold isn’t gonna go easy on you, or Pearl, or Rose. You got Amethyst, right? Surely there’s other people who you can team up with. Teachers, students, alumni. I’ll come by myself if I have to. Actually…” She put her phone on speaker and switched to the calendar app. “Yeah, Azure wants some representatives at a careers fair at your school, in February. I might be able to pull some strings.” Said strings were currently asleep in the bedroom. Blue could get almost anything she wanted from Azure.

 

For the first time in a while, Aurora let out a delighted, girlish giggle. “Oh, goodness. It sounds like we’re going to cook up quite the scheme. Just like old times, then.” She brought her hand to the kitchen sink and switched it on, letting water pour over the fresh cuts. She extracted glass, calmly. “But, then again, Marigold never suspected me before. Now, I’ll be her prime victim. Hah. Guess I’ve got to learn to play this game a different way.”

 

Blue smirked.

“See, that’s the Rori I know,” she said. “You always were good at these things. Scheming and plotting and never putting yourself in the spotlight. We’ll figure this out, yeah? You got people on your side. Far more, I suspect, than she does, because everyone already knew she was an abusive twat when we were still at school, right? It won’t be difficult.”

She looked up. She thought she heard something from the bedroom.

Azure was calling out for her. She felt her heart clench. “Listen, Rori, I gotta go. You take care of yourself, alright? Get some sleep. Make some plans. Keep me up to date, okay? And let’s really make Marigold regret the day she dumped you, shall we?”

 

Aurora nodded, patting the hand dry. More gashes. More pain. But, honestly, she was too high to feel its impact. “It’ll be okay.” A reaffirmation of the most desperate kind. Things had to go okay, or… she had no idea what she’d do. Pearl was already in hospital. A part of her yearned for Pearl to just stay there, but she knew better. Progress. Pearl would be fine soon. “You should get some rest, too. Sorry to bother you at such an hour. You always seem to know what to say.”

Would Pearl even want to face her? Hah. Face.

She shook her head, grin dropping. No time for awful puns. “I’ll talk to you later, Blue. Take care.”

 

“Night, Rori.” Blue wasted no more time in hanging up. She got up and hurried back to the bedroom.

“Everything alright?” Azure asked. She was sitting up, her eyes sharp and awake.

“My sister. She’s… not in a good place at the moment. But it’s okay,” Blue said. “Don’t worry. Let’s just go back to sleep.”

Azure nodded and lay down. Blue lay down beside her, felt Azure’s arms wrap around her. Azure kissed the back of her neck as Blue settled against her.

Azure’s breathing evened out after only a few minutes, but Blue lay awake for much longer.


	26. Act IV - Chapter IV: Alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> Content warning for discussions of homophobia, transphobia and suicide.

 

It was the 23rd of December, and Rose Quartz was baking yet again.

She was excited. Today was the first time Greg would visit her at home. They’d met up at various cafés or restaurants and she’d seen his van, but this was the first time she’d invited him to her house.

She was going to make it special. But there were a few things she needed to do before that happened.

He was going to be here soon. Rose took the fresh muffins out of the oven and put them out to cool before going back to decorating the biscuits.

Tomorrow, she would have to take the train to visit her mother for Christmas Eve. She could at least have a nice evening for herself – and Greg – before that happened.

 

Greg approached the estate area, looking around. He’d written her address on a napkin after falling desperately short of any another form of paper. All the houses in this area were huge. Vast. He spotted the number he’d been told to find and heard a dog barking from the other side of the fence. Rose didn’t have a dog, did she? He frowned. This wasn’t a problem by any means; in fact, the opposite of a problem. He liked them a fair bit.

Still. He had other matters to attend to. He placed a finger on the doorbell.

 

Rose looked up when Lion started barking.

He was a very well-behaved dog, but got excited whenever new people strolled into his territory. Rose smiled; she was sure that this signalled Greg’s arrival. She wiped off her hands on her apron and made her way to the door, Lion trotting behind her.

And there he was. Rose smiled brightly at him. “Greg! How are you? Do come in, I hope you didn’t have much trouble finding it!”

Lion barked and sniffed at Greg, and Rose grabbed his collar to hold him back – not everyone was overly fond of huge, fluffy dogs. “This is Lion,” she said. “He’s very gentle and full of love, but also very strong.”

 

“Is he yours?” Greg tilted his head, padding over and letting the animal sniff the back of his hand. “Ah, he’s alright. Look at that face. I trust that face.”

He then looked up and presented Rose with a tiny envelope. “Here. I… It’s not much of a present, but, I thought you’d at least get a smile out of it.”

 

 

Rose smiled when Greg petted Lion. She let go of his collar; Lion immediately went towards Greg, sniffing him and wagging his tail. “Technically, he belongs to my neighbours, but he really likes me and he likes hanging out in my house, so we have an agreement. He’s not here all the time, though.” Her eyes widened at the tiny envelope and she took it from him. “You didn’t need to get me anything at all! What is it?”

 

“Nothing to get excited about.” He laughed, pathetic. Rubbing the back of his neck. He waited for her to open it. A small, folded piece of paper with a sketched rose, coloured with highlighters. It resembled a ticket.

_This ticket can be exchanged for whatever goods and services one Mr. Universe can provide. Suggestions for this voucher include: shovelling snow, yardwork, sweet backrubs, carwashes, musical accompaniment (background music for practically any life event)._

_Please be gentle._

 

Rose chuckled when she read it, her cheeks warming. Her relationship with Greg had progressed towards the romantic at a pretty fast rate, and Rose might have been alarmed with it… if it hadn’t been a very, very welcome distraction from constantly thinking about Pearl, worrying about her. That, and Greg was admittedly fairly attractive.

She kissed his cheek. “Thank you,” she said warmly. “I made cookies. Come with me, we’ll go into the living room.”

 

Greg gave a smile at the warmth. He eagerly followed her, having grown fairly accustomed to a belly full of biscuits nearly every date. “So,” he began. “Nearly Christmas, huh? School starting again soon?” A part of him dreaded it. Less time with her. Less dates. But, at least she had a stable job. Greg knew better than to try and interfere with anything of the sort. “I’ll be free anytime in the new year. Oh yeah! I got an interview, and I’m still applying for places, but it’s tough when you’ve only got the library internet to surf on. Why does every job have like an hour long survey nowadays?”

 

“I don’t know. But good luck with your interview. Do you have good clothes to wear for it?” Rose sat on the sofa and reached out with her hand, silently asking Greg to join her. Then promptly got up again. “Oh, my, I completely forgot to offer you something to drink! I have coffee, tea, hot chocolate… some alcohol as well, but not much. What would you like?”

 

“Hot cocoa is all I need to live!” He pumped his fist. And then looked at her. And then slowly slid his hand by his side. “I think I’d like that. But, thanks! Knowing me and interviews, good luck is something I need.”

 

Rose smiled, then got up to prepare his hot chocolate. When she got back, she handed it to him and sat down next to him.

“Greg… I… We need to talk.” She’d been a little nervous about this, but having him here, seeing his smile and good-natured enthusiasm, she was sure it was going to be okay.

 

“We… do?” He blinked, tilting his head. With four words, his playful air turned to absolute anxiety. He tried not to let it show, but a trembling fear tremoured in his voice. “Sure. W-What about? Should I settle down? Don’t tell me you’re pregnant just yet! I mean, I can take out a loan and maybe get some dad classes and then I’ll…” He trailed off. “Wait. We haven’t even… I mean, I’d support whatever baby you make!”

 

 

Rose listened, open-mouthed, and then when he was finished, dissolved into giggles.

“Oh, Mr Universe, you’re hilarious,” she said, still laughing. “No, nothing of the sort. But I was going to talk to you about our… relationship.” They’d not really defined it. There had been several dates, tender moments, touches. A few kisses.

The main reason why Rose had invited him here was to define their relationship, maybe take it further, but there were things she needed to do before then.

“I really like you,” she started out. “You’re fun to be around and to play with… but if we really want to do this, there’s a few things you need to know.”

 

Greg paused. He then looked up. "So... there's no baby?" He looked almost disappointed. "Alright. Sure. You're not going to tell me you have a secret alien servant girlfriend from a far away planet made of rocks, right?"

 

Rose laughed. "No, no," she said, "at least, not anyone from a far away planet." God, was she really thinking of Pearl as her... no, she wasn't. Definitely wasn't. Damn, she'd been doing such a good job not thinking of Pearl that way the past few days.

"Well, I did want to tell you that I'm bisexual, and polyamorous, so alien girlfriends are definitely not off the table in the future," she then said, cautiously.

 

"Oh." He paused for a brief second before nodding. "I can get behind that. Just don't leave Earth if you can help it. You know. With your space wife. Or at least take me with you."

 

Rose laughed, relieved that he was taking it so well. "That's good! I'm not currently planning on leaving Earth, but if that ever becomes a thing, you'll be the first to know." She leaned in and kissed him.

 

He grinned into the kiss. "I guess this just means we've gotta talk more. Are you seeing anyone else, too?"

 

Rose couldn't help thinking that he must be poly too, or at least he must have had experience with polyamory before, because he was already very good.

"Well... sort of," she said, then blushed. "Um. Well, there's Will, but we're more friends than partners, and we don't see each other a lot. He's asexual, too, so... nothing on that front."

She hesitated for a long moment, and then added, "And, well, there's another person I've been... sort of having feelings for. But it's complicated and might never actually go somewhere."

 

"Hah, as long as you're all protected, I don't care who you court to bed." He gave a small shrug. "Just leave some hugs for me, will you? But, go on. Tell me about the mystery person. I like complicated stories. They give great lyrical inspo."

 

Rose fidgeted for a moment, and then made a decision. If she was going to date this man, she owed him her honesty.

"She's... one of my students." She grimaced. "That makes it sound really bad, doesn't it? She's - she's nineteen, in her final year, and she's got all sorts of problems, mental health, not many friends, along that line, and she... she adores me. I've been... spending time with her more than with other students because she needs help and attention, and I guess." She shrugged. "Sometimes feelings just happen, y'know? But she's still my student."

Principal Diamond's words echoed in her mind; it was inappropriate, it would put her job on the line if Rose ever pursued this.

She wondered how Pearl was doing. All alone, in hospital.

 

"Well, if she's not underage and she knows what she's doing, I trust you not to take advantage of anyone. I adore you, too, you know. There's a lot to adore. But, I guess your school policies might get a lil' hard on it." He looked down in thought, and then back up at Rose. "But how do _you_ feel about her?"

 

Rose bit her lip.

"I like her," she said softly. "A lot. More than I should. She... I've not talked to her in a few weeks and I've barely been able to stop thinking about her."

 

"Is she on holiday?" He gave a small, understanding smile. Perhaps Rose was missing her now that school was out for the winter. "Hey, if she's leaving school soon, it's not that bad. You're a person. With people-feelings. We get those, you know? It's what makes us human. You shouldn't be ashamed of that. Just be careful if it's a delicate situation. It'd be different if she was a kid, or if you were far older. But really, your age gap isn't... Okay. Well. It kind of is. But give it some time. Either way, I'm here. And I'm real glad you told me."

 

Rose gave him a warm smile.

"Thank you," she said. "It means a lot. I... there's a lot more to this than I've told you, but there's a possibility you'll meet her at some point, so I don't really want to spread all of her issues around." Such as the fact that Pearl was currently in hospital for her eating disorder, or the fact that Pearl had attempted suicide multiple times, or the fact that Pearl had stayed at Rose's at the beginning of the school year after running away from home. Those... weren't really Rose's secrets to tell, with the possible exception of the latter.

 

"And that's totally okay, too." He shrugged. "I don't wanna know things that are personal to her. That's her business. And yours, I guess. But just... stay safe. We don't want this to impact on your career."

 

Rose nodded mutely.

She still remembered very clearly what Diamond had said.

"Our principal is... very homophobic," she said softly. "It's been a problem before, with students." With fatal consequences, in one case. Rose felt her heart ache.

 

"Oh, geeze. That's... I'm sure you're not allowed to be, right? If you're a principal? Don't you guys have a superintendent? Someone they answer to?"

 

"I'm quite sure Principal Diamond answers to no one." She sighed. In Lars's case, nobody had been able to prove that it was Diamond's transphobia that had driven him to suicide. In many other cases, her abuse was too subtle to fight directly. "It's difficult to get her to answer for something that nobody can prove she's actually doing."

 

He gave her a deep look. Genuine sorrow in his face. "That's not good. But you two can't be the only gay.... Well, at least non-straight people in the school. There's always a few."

 

Rose huffed. "Of course there's others. We had a lesbian couple graduating last year who got into trouble a lot. But you can't prove it's homophobia when it's just random acts of pettiness that are somehow always directed at the students who are queer."

 

"...I guess." He nodded. "But there's got to be something. There's always something."

 

Rose shrugged. "Right now, there's nothing I can do. If it gets worse, I might... but as it stands, I'm far more likely to be on the receiving end of said homophobia, rather than in a position to be able to do anything about it." She hated it. She hated that she was already dreading going back to school. She hated that she didn't know what Diamond was going to do to Pearl.

 

"That isn't right." He said, softly. "That's not right at all, Rose. You should be able to protect yourself. I mean, this kind of stuff wasn't okay when I went to school. I was protected." His eyes widened. "I mean, kids were protected, yanno?"

 

"Not under Diamond. Never." Rose sighed. "I do my best to protect the students where I can, and I've been trying to protect Pearl, too. But Diamond doesn't protect the students. She doesn't care about them. She..." She swallowed. "She drove a kid to suicide a few years back. A trans guy. And then brushed it off as an 'unfortunate accident'." Rose shook her head. She still blamed herself for not being able to save Lars.

 

"What?" His eyes grew wide, shocked. "But... surely, you all could have testified against her? What about his family? His friends? Rose... Oh God, Rose." He leaned in for a hug. "I'm sorry. Wow. This school. Doesn't sound all that great."

 

"It's not. The only reason why I'm still there is so I can help out the students there. And because I love teaching, and I love my students. ...A little too much, in this case." She hung her head. "Diamond is virtually untouchable. And nobody can prove anything."

 

"Geeze-louise." Greg gave a rough sigh. "I'm... honestly kinda really upset by this. There's got to be something, Rose. There's always something. Even when the odds are against you. I mean, it won't be easy, but I'm sure it's not something you're going through alone."

 

"You're probably right." Rose sighed once again, then looked up at him and smiled. "I'll look into it when school starts again. For now, would you like some dinner?"

  
He gave a nod. "Yeah. Let's... Let's eat. At least we're alright right now."

 

Rose nodded. "Yes, that we are."

But for how much longer they would be alright, she didn't know.

 

 


	27. Act IV - Chapter V: Merry Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> Content warning for mental health issues, discussion of eating disorders, self-harm, manipulation.

 

Snowfall.

Pearl watched the snow fall past the courtyard. Light. Small. Cold.

She shuddered.

 

She'd been moved once more. Her temporary home was another pristine room with thin sheets. They matched the thin girls.

Pearl hugged her knees. Her phone sat by her. Today was the day. She'd been given her phone back. Pearl had anticipated the day for the best part of a month, and now she had access, she found herself entirely frozen.

50 missed calls. An array from Amethyst. She couldn't bring herself to even bother with voice mail. Her life outside of the clinic seemed entirely fictional. Did they even know where she was? Did Rose know? Had Aurora told the school?

She clung to herself. Her clothes now resided in a tiny set of drawers. She barely changed out of them, only when the staff noticed and forced her to change. The medication was upped. She was sleepy. She was fat. Well, in her own skewed vision. But even then, the theraphy must've been working somehow. No longer did an ideal truly exist once her doctor revealed the conspiracy that was the beauty industry. Of course, she knew it, she knew it was all a photoshopped lie, but having it drilled into her skull, drip fed daily made it all real.

She was alright. She was okay.

Unhealthily thin, but okay.

Rose had been right all this time.

Pearl felt an obligation to at least apologise. Everything. Or just... Say something. Even if it fell on deaf ears, she'd... Send a voicemail. She'd need it off her chest.

She picked up her phone.

Pearl kissed the inside of her teeth as she recalled she'd set Rose to speed dial.

 

It was Christmas day, and Rose was on the train to see her mother.

It was a yearly ritual, one that had to be completed. If she'd had her way, she would have stayed home by herself or spent time with Greg (who'd practically moved in with her since they had their conversation). She'd never got on with her mum, and Christmasses were always awkward.

The train ride was over two hours long. Rose had brought a book and only glanced out of the window now and then.

 

 

Pearl nervously looked at the call button and closed her eyes. As the dial tone began to connect her, she felt all feeling from her legs disappear. Would Rose talk to her? After... what had happened... she seemed to want to have her distance. But she needed to do this. Even if Rose didn't care. She needed it off her chest.

 

Unexpectedly, Rose's phone started ringing.

Rose frowned and took a few long moments to locate her phone in her handbag. She took it out, expecting to see Greg or her mum as the caller, but no.

It was Pearl.

She took in a sharp breath, and hesitated another moment before answering.

"Hello?" Her cheeks warmed, her heart beating quickly. It had been weeks.

 

"Miss," Pearl said, drily. Words danced around her head, unattainable. Out of reach. She had expected to go to voicemail. Her lips felt void of any moisture. Her nails pinched her skin.

 

Hearing Pearl's voice made Rose's heart speed up a little more.

"Pearl," she said softly, "I didn't expect - are you okay? Are you still in hospital? - Aurora told me, I hope you don't mind."

 

Pearl didn't reply for a good half minute. "Yes. I'm still in here." It was at that moment she decided that if she'd see her sister again, she'd sock her right in the nose. She wanted Aurora to die. "Are you... okay with me... calling you?"

 

"Of course I am, Pearl." Her voice was soft and gentle. Rose wanted to tell Pearl that she missed her, that she was looking forward to seeing her again. She... couldn't.

She didn't get a reply. When she looked out of the window, it was dark.

The train was passing through a tunnel. Rose looked at her phone; the call had disconnected.

She cursed under her breath. Pearl didn't need this.

 

Pearl's eyes glazed over and tears swelled as she processed the fact that she'd been hung up on. Rejection would have been fine, but hearing her voice again and then... Why? Why had Rose picked up and then hung up? Why? Did she deserve it? For the manipulation and lies, she probably did. She switched the device off and flopped down on her bed.

 

Rose clutched her phone, her anxiety rising until the train finally came back out of the tunnel. She immediately dialled Pearl's number, but it went straight to voicemail.

"Damn!" Her heart was pounding, her hands were shaking. She didn't want to do this to Pearl. She needed to let her know that it was okay, it had been a mistake. She needed to let Pearl know she loved her... or at least that she still cared.

 

Pearl found herself unable to rest and unable to walk away. She resisted the urge to call again - just barely. She was yet to even eat. Yes, she gathered herself and left the phone. They'd complain if she didn't go to the canteen on time.

 

After the fifth call had gone to voicemail, Rose gave up and sent a text message instead.

_Pearl, I'm on a train right now and signal cut out. I don't mind you calling me at all, I care about you a lot. I hope you're okay. I'm very sorry. RQ x_

She sat back in her seat and sighed, wondering if she would get a reply.

 

Pearl didn't reply. At least not for the rest of the day. Once she entered the canteen, a nurse waddled over and plonked a set of velvet reindeer antlers on her head with a jubilant 'Merry Christmas!' and bounded back to the other inpatients at the table.

She followed suit, looking at the tacky selection of greens and festive reds. Pearl may as well have been alive for several centuries, as her constant overthinking made her completely lose track of time. It wasn't based around days, but more when the next big event would come. And thus, Christmas hadn't even really registered in her mind. Not even when the platter of gravy drowned chipolatas and roast turkey showed up did she feel at all festive. Despite the usual pristine clinic air, the place was in hubbub.

Pearl's stomach clenched. It meant she was due for visitors at any point now.

 

Amethyst and Aurora had set off fairly early, in order to allow Amy to spend some time with her mother in the evening (something which she hated and dreaded, but begrudgingly accepted). Aurora parked the car in the car park which was already starting to fill up.

She was nervous. Her and Amy had barely talked the entire ride here, so she assumed Amethyst was as well. How would Pearl react to seeing them? How would she look? Aurora's nose was getting better, but the evidence of Pearl's attack was still very obvious. Would Pearl even want to talk to her?

They went to reception, where they were given instructions on how to find Pearl, and then made their way there, still not talking.

 

Pearl had slept in after the Christmas meal. Other inpatients had visitors from the looks of it, and she felt somewhat excluded from the action. But, in part, also very much relieved. God knew where her parents even were. Even if they happened to be at home (unlikely), her lack of presence at the dinner table was for the best. It would have been uncomfortable. She would have ruined things.

She found herself gaining consciousness. Someone was outside of her door.

 

When they got to Pearl's room, Aurora hesitated.

"Do you... want to go in first?" she asked Amy. "She might not be overly happy to see me." That was an understatement. Knowing Pearl, she was likely to attack Aurora again the moment she saw her.

Amethyst nodded, then knocked on the door.

 

"Just a sec!" Pearl threw a sweater on  (having had napped in her bra and undershirt). Perhaps she'd slept in and missed her medication. She slapped her forehead in her disgrace and tiptoed to the door. "I'm sorry, I didn't really want to watch everyone have visitors so I decided to nap and totally forgot about..." She paused as she came face to face with Amy.

She swallowed. "...Oh."

 

"Peeeearl!" Amy broke into a grin and went for a hug that could probably knock Pearl off her feet. She squeezed her friend, still grinning. "Oh man, P, I missed you so much! You're looking way better!"

Aurora had shied away the moment Pearl had appeared in the door, but she too stepped forward, now that Pearl was safely incapacitated in Amethyst's hugs. "Merry Christmas, Pearlie," she said, keeping her voice even. She held out her hand with Pearl's present. "We got you something."

 

 

Pearl felt all colour drain from her face as she heard Aurora's voice. She tenderly hugged Amethyst back, as if clinging onto some form of apparition. Her last scrap to reality. The fact that she could touch her friend didn't feel real. But it was Amy. She could smell Amethyst and buried her face into her embrace. She couldn't quite bring herself to say much else than, "...Yes. Come in."

 

"Do I have to stop hugging you for that?" came Amethyst's response, muffled from where she was talking into Pearl's shoulder. Aurora tutted, impatiently, and made her way past them into Pearl's room.

"You are looking better, Pearlie," she said. Hopefully, Amethyst's presence would keep Pearl from outright attacking Aurora.

 

And that was when Pearl snapped back into reality.

A seething, hot fire lit in the pit of her belly. She briefly recollected a memory from a previous year, in which a close friend with rather severe anger management issues described it as an 'eternal flame'. She shook a little, even if her legs had developed more fat and felt more sturdy, they may as well not have existed. She slowly looked up at Aurora, studying her face. Looking at those still prominent scars and her twisted nose.

Her fist curled.

"The _fuck_ is she doing here?"

 

Amethyst locked her arms around Pearl. Aurora had said this might happen.

"I'm your sister, Pearlie," Aurora said, her voice calm. "I'm the only one in this godforsaken family who seems to give a damn about you, or have you forgotten? You're better now. Because of me."

Amethyst finally let go of Pearl, but clung on to her arm just in case. "Also she's my friend now," she told Pearl. "She's really not all that bad, P."

 

Pearl's mouth dropped a little. She then slowly spoke. "You don't know what this little cunt did to me when I was younger. That's great, Aurora. It wasn't enough to trap me here, you had to go ahead and manipulate my literal only friend, too?"

The one advantage (amongst many, and to Aurora, a disadvantage) of gaining weight was the strength that returned to Pearl's body. At her previous confrontation, she'd been dizzy and barely able to move. Now, there was a much more present threat to her figure. Still thin, but no longer at death's doorstep, she tried to wrestle out of Amethyst's arms. Her mind swimming in a tank of intrusive, violent thoughts, nibbling at her brain like piranhas.

"I got better by myself. You only dumped me here. Don't you dare take credit for my progress, you disgusting shitbag. I never want to see your ugly little face ever again. And you know what? I'm happy it's fucked up now." She sniffed. "It matches your personality."

 

Amethyst kept her grip on Pearl's arm.

"Chill, P," she said. "Leave her be, okay? She only wants your best."

Aurora, in turn, stiffly turned.

"I'll give you two a minute," she said flatly. Her heart hurt at having all of her suspicions confirmed. Pearl hated her.

She left the room and closed the door behind her before leaning against the wall and taking a deep breath. She resisted the urge to call Blue, again. She couldn't go running to her sister every time something went wrong.

 

"Yeah, you'd better run!" Pearl hissed, scathing. Shaking. The second the door closed, she fell nearly limp, her deep breaths turning to near hyperventilation as she struggled to control herself.

"She hates me. Why am I like this? She hates me, I fucked up I always fuck up. I hate her but she hates me even more, it's why I'm here. Oh my God her face, I did that to her. Her face. It was so pretty. She was so pretty. I ruined everything. But, hey, at least I'm not going to fucking die from starvation! Instead, I am going to just go ahead and kill myself. Goodbye, it was nice knowing you, Amy."

 

"Don't you fucking dare," Amethyst hissed, then came in and hugged Pearl again. "She doesn't hate you. She's not too fond of what you did to her face but she doesn't hate you, okay? She wouldn't be here if she did. C'mon. Aren't you gonna open your present?"

 

"Don't want it." Pearl got out of the hug and flopped face down on the bed. "Don't deserve it."

 

"Course you do, silly." Amethyst came over to the bed and poked Pearl. "Get up, I haven't seen you in, like, fifteen years and I wanna see your face."

 

"Don't you hate me too?" Pearl sniffed into the pillow and yelped at the poke. "After the way I left. I was so determined to lose weight and not listen to anyone and I was also using it to manipulate everyone for attention. Even you."

 

"Pshh. No, silly. I was just worried about you. I didn't exactly do very well, dealing with it, did I?" Amy shifted, uncomfortable at the reminder. "Anyway, I'm glad you're better now. You didn't miss much at school. Well, except for me kind of yelling at Quartz for abandoning you like that."

 

Pearl blinked and recieved an eyeful of fabric. This prompted her to actually look up at Amethyst with wide eyes. "You did _what_?"

 

Amethyst scratched the back of her neck and looked away. "I... yeah. Um. That was a thing. She gave me detention and I never showed up."

 

"Oh, geeze. Amy. It turns out she was... kind of forced to do all the shit she did." Pearl sighed. "I... tried calling her but she hung up on me after picking up."

 

"She what? Fucking hell, that's even worse! Why would she do that?" Amy clenched her fist, angrily. "I don't care why she did what she did, it wasn't okay and surely there was something she could have done that would have not hurt you as much."

 

"I guess. I feel like I deserve it. I've been manipulating her for attention since September." She hugged her knees. "She's got more than all right to treat me like shit. And Aurora."

 

"What - no she doesn't!" Amy shook her head. "She doesn't have any right _at all_ to treat you like this. You're her student, right? So she should protect you. I'ma have another word with her once school starts again. Yo, do you know when you're getting out? Will you be back in time for school?"

 

"They can't keep me locked up forever. I've been gaining weight pretty rapidly, too." Pearl shrugged. "Turns out there's more to life than obsessing over losing weight. Who would have thought it, huh?"

 

Amy chuckled. "That's awesome! You do look way better than you did before. It was kinda scary, to be honest. I'm sorry for freaking out on you. We're still friends, right?"

 

Pearl instantly took Amethyst into her arms. They were thicker. Sturdier. "No shit, Sherlock. You know too much, anyway. I can't afford you not being my friend!"

 

"Heh." Amethyst sank into the hug, curling her arms around Pearl. It felt good. "I missed ya," she mumbled into the embrace, then looked up to find Pearl's face very close to hers.

She wanted to kiss her.

She immediately suppressed that thought and moved away from Pearl a bit, looking away. "So what'd you think will happen when you get out?"

 

"I don't know. I just wish to leave this place. It's not very nice and the beds aren't good. I'm not looking forward to school because of Aurora and Rose, but... it's better than here. We've made it halfway through the year, anyway."

 

"It's gonna be fine! You'll have me." Amy grinned and went back in, cuddling Pearl. "I've missed you. Like a lot. Just make sure you get out soon, okay?"

 

"You'll come and visit me again, right?" Pearl asked, tilting her head. "If it isn't soon. I... It hurts when everyone else has visitors."

 

"Of course! I don't know if I can get here by myself but Rori can drive me. It's even easier now that we're..." She stopped. Would it be a bad idea to tell Pearl? Oh well - she was going to find out eventually, and Amethyst would rather have her hear it from her rather than someone else. "Now that we're living together."

 

Pearl looked at Amethyst. For a while. And then for a while longer. And then a few seconds. And then a full blown minute. Her expressions shifting and molding like plasticine. She didn't respond in the end. The only communication between the two for that moment happened to be the utter disbelief on her features.

 

Amethyst watched Pearl's face drop and felt anxiety rise up in her chest.

"Pearl... Pearl, look, it's, like, not a big deal. We're friends, okay? And she has space in her flat and I fucking hate it at home, you know that, so she offered. It's not a big deal, okay?" Heat was rising to her cheeks. She fidgeted.

 

"But.... it's Aurora," Pearl said. Cold. Her tone hitting Amethyst harder than the wintery breeze outside. "She put me here."

 

Amethyst shrunk away from Pearl's tone. She crossed her arms and drew her shoulders up, defensive. "You would've died if she hadn't. You're so goddamn stubborn, P, you can't even see that she did this to help you. I saw you before you got here, alright? I saw you and you were not okay. And now you are and you can't tell me it's not because she put you here. She helped you. Why can't you see that?"

 

"Because she's a little bitch!" Pearl gave a huff. "I hate her! I've spent a near month, trapped in here, hating her! And now I find out my best friend is living with her? She's just going to hurt you!"

 

The only response Amethyst had to that was a short, bitter laugh. "Oh, trust me," she said. "She really, really can't do any worse than my parents."

 

Pearl withdrew a deep breath and sighed. "Okay, fine. That I can agree with, I guess. And if you're happy - fine. But.... I don't know. It just feels like betrayal."

 

"You're being silly." Amethyst shook her head, looked away. "You're just bitter cus she put you in hospital against your will, even though it was the only thing she could've done. I'm not betraying you. I just moved in with someone who is most definitely a lot healthier for me than my parents ever were and guess what? It's great! So don't you make me feel guilty about that, don't you do that. It's not always about you."

 

"Yeah, that's it, isn't it?" She turned around and threw the bedsheet over herself. "It's never about me," came the muffled reply.

 

Amethyst groaned. "That's not what I said at all! Can you stop twisting my words? God, P. You seem to forget that I'm your _friend_. Friends don't betray each other. It's not a betrayal, and it would be _really_ helpful if you could stop seeing it as one."

 

Pearl stayed curled up for a few minutes before reappearing from underneath the blanket. "God." She sighed. "Why am I like this. It can't just be me, right? Seeing the world completely in black and white and having the intelligence to know that it's wrong? I hate it. I hate either hating or loving people."

 

Amethyst considered this for a long moment, then came in and hugged Pearl tightly.

"It's okay," she said. "It's okay. It's not easy right now, but you got lots of people on your side, alright? Me. And Rori. And probably Miss Quartz, even if she's been a bit of a dick. People ain't just gonna abandon you, P. We love you."

 

"I feel like I deserve to be abandoned, though." Pearl sighed. "Because... I'm like this. But I also need attention all day, every day. It's unbearable. The second I feel like I'm not receiving enough, I either get wildly envious or literally want to die."

 

"But... you're still a person. And it's okay to have feelings, man. Just, I dunno. Talk to your therapist? You're getting therapy in here, right? They should be helping you with this shit, right?" Amy cuddled up to Pearl. "You still deserve all of the love. 'cus you're great."

 

"Just for my eating disorder. Not for the EUPD." Pearl gave a hard sigh. Nearly digging nails into skin. Not in front of Amy. She couldn't let Amy see. "I just... Does it get better? For people like me?"

 

Amy shrugged. "I dunno. Just gotta keep workin' on it, I guess. I'll help ya, alright? It'll be okay."

 

"Surely dying is just easier."

 

"Maybe." Amy grimaced. "I dunno. But I'd be sad if you did."

 

"Ugh." Pearl went back into hiding. "Wake me up next year."

 

"That's just, like, a couple days away," Amy laughed, then prodded Pearl. "C'mere. Don't hide, I got like, three weeks worth of hugs to catch up on."

 

"Come and cuddle me." She murmured. "Under the blankets. I won't forget it this time. I don't want to forget it."

 

Amethyst hesitated for a long moment, then crawled up to Pearl's bed and slipped under the blanket with her.

"C'mere," she said again, curling her arms around Pearl. Noting with relief that Pearl was feeling much less unhealthily thin.

 

She felt herself grow warm with another presence. Amethyst was like a hot water bottle, toasty and soft. She gently clung to her, snaking her hands beneath her friend's coat to feel her better. She'd not had human contact since punching her sister. "My knee's wrecked again. But it's recovering better this time. At least it's under better supervision with all the doctors."

 

Amethyst felt Pearl's hands beneath her coat and cuddled closer. "That's good. What'd you do to wreck it again?" She couldn't think of anything that would have required physical activity in hospital. And before that... oh. Oh. It'd probably happened when Pearl had attacked Aurora. But Amethyst wasn't going to mention that again unless Pearl did.

 

"Tried to escape from a moving vehicle. Less cool than it sounds. I didn't even get out." She had been stopped by the earth's second greatest trapping mechanism, after all. "It's all bruised still." She shrugged off her trousers. Knee was tinted with an ugly off yellow and purple. "Gross."

 

"Hmm." Amethyst tried not to think about the fact that Pearl was only in her underwear from the waist down. Her knee was, indeed, sporting a very impressive collection of bruises. "It'll heal, though," Amy said. "You'll be fine."

 

Pearl rubbed her other foot against Amethyst's leg. "So, what have you been up to?"

 

Amy froze at the touch.

"N-nothing much," she said, her voice almost squeaky. "Um. Made friends with Rori and moved out? Mum wasn't happy, but I'm way past caring about her."

 

She didn't miss that. Pearl hadn't forgotten where they'd left off. "Hmm. Well. Don't you get into too much trouble without me. We're a team. We fuck... shit up together."

 

Amethyst's heart stopped at Pearl's words... and then started beating again at Pearl's addition. "Fucking shit up together. Mmm, yeah. Just get out soon, okay?" She snuggled closer impulsively.

 

Pearl traced her digits over Amethyst's cheek. "Mm. You know, I never noticed how soft your skin is. Guess it's because the last time I got to properly touch it, I was much too drunk. It's been a while."

 

Amethyst blushed furiously and hid her face in Pearl's neck. "You were very drunk," she agreed, her voice muffled. Internally, she was panicking.

 

"But I'm not, now. And neither are you." She played with Amethyst's hair and then traced a single digit over the shell of her ear. Leaning in and whispering. "You look really pretty today." It was true. She looked healthier and happier. As if living with Aurora had relit a spark in her eyes.

 

Amethyst shied away at Pearl's touch and her comment.

"Uh. Thanks. What... what are you doing?" She poked her head out from under the blanket. The air was colder outside, but maybe it just felt cold on Amethyst's burning cheeks. She looked at Pearl like a deer caught in headlines, ready to bolt.

 

"Just touching you. Do you want me to stop?" Pearl frowned. They'd gotten pretty far while stoned. She needed contact.

It was then that she realised that she was actually rather horny.

 

"But. You like Quartz. Why are you being like this around me? I don't understand!" Amy tugged at her own hair, frustrated.

 

"...Because I like you, too?" Her face fell. "I like you a lot. I think you're really pretty and nice and you're my friend and I want to be close and touch you. I... my thing for her isn't ever going to work out. She hung up on me. She doesn't want me. So I need to suck it up and get over it. And that's not to say you're some kind of rebound or a crutch. Amethyst. I love you, too. Like the way I love her. But also as my friend. Do you... get it? Because... I don't really but I do. Ugh. This is all so confusing!"

 

Amethyst pushed Pearl away and slipped off the bed, shaking her head.

"No, Pearl," she said. "You don't... I'm not just gonna be your, what, second choice or backup plan for when your thing with her doesn't work out. Not here for that. 'sides, you don't even know me that well. How can you say you love me when you don't even know half of what I've done?" Like beat up her own father. Like deliberately made her mother's life hell. Like gotten into fights, like doing things just to spite her parents. Amy shook her head.

 

"No. That's not it - you're not just a second choice!" She curled her hands into fists. "I fall for people really quickly. Wildly. Intensely. And I'm sorry if you think that you are. That's... I wouldn't do that to you. I care about you, too, you know." She sighed and went back to hiding. "I see how it is, though. You can leave."

 

Amethyst instantly felt guilty, but years of conditioning had trained her to push through that guilt immediately. She crunched up her face and snapped, "Fine. I'll be outside."

She stomped out of the room. Aurora would know something was up. Great. She'd ruined everything, again.

 

Pearl didn't reappear. She dug her nails into her skin. Disgusting. Her actions and mindset just seemed to grow more and more disgusting. How could she keep hurting Amethyst? The only person that actually stuck to her despite having seen more of her ferality. She gave a pained whimper as the skin grew red and more stripes appeared on old marks.

Death seemed easier. Easier than being this unstable way. The constant tightrope was exhausting.

 

Aurora was waiting outside the room when Amethyst burst out, obviously agitated by something.

"Did... something happen?" Aurora asked.

"Nothing." Amethyst was lying, but she was also grumpy, so Aurora didn't press the issue. "You can go in now."

Aurora nodded and pushed open the door to Pearl's room. She then let the door fall shut behind her an approached Pearl's bed. "So, what'd you do this time?"

 

Pearl felt her stomach pang with a cold anxiety. She didn't want Aurora in her space. She didn't want this. Her. She scratched herself again, closing her eyes. Focusing on the sting. Anything to block her out.

 

Aurora didn't let that deter her. Instead, she came closer. She heard a familiar sound: Pearl was scratching herself.

Aurora let out a sigh. "Goddammit, Pearlie, you can't just shut down like this every time something happens. I don't know what happened but this is most definitely not a solution, so stop it."

 

"Fuck off."

 

Aurora raised an eyebrow.

"Really? That's all you have to say? Please, Pearl. You can do better than that. And will you stop being so hostile towards me? I _saved_ you."

 

"Fuck. Off."

 

"Not gonna happen." Aurora sat down on the bed next to Pearl and reached out a hand to pat the shoulder that was hidden underneath the blanket. "C'mon, Pearlie, I'm on your side here. Can't you see that?"

 

Pearl immediately lept out at the touch and grabbed the hand, twisting it a little to stop her sister from escaping. She looked up, bearing her teeth. "Listen," she said, fixing her gaze onto Aurora's. "Never. Fucking. Touch me again, or I'll actually break your hand, too."

 

Aurora was alarmed, but calmed down quickly and rolled her eyes. "Wow," she said. "Way to be overdramatic, Pearlie. Will you let me go? If you don't, I'll tell your doctors you attacked me again and you'll be in here a lot longer. You want that? Didn't think so."

 

Pearl narrowed her eyes. Not noticing her scratches had begun to bleed. "Get out."

 

Aurora shrugged, freeing herself from Pearl's grip. "If you're really that desperate to spend Christmas Day by yourself."

 

"Please. As if I'd want to spend it with you. Don't you have the family to visit? I'm sure Mom and Dad are doing great without their problem child wrecking the festivities."

 

Aurora sighed.

"I wouldn't know." She hadn't talked to her parents in precisely three weeks, ever since she confronted them about neglecting Pearl so much that she had to go to hospital. Pearl's anger was misdirected; it was her mother and father that were to blame.

 

"What about whoever you're dating?" Pearl gave a haphazard wave. "I've seen you with way too much ill coloured concealer on your neck to know you're hiding hickeys at school... although... you don't have anything now. What's the matter? Got dumped?"

 

Aurora went pale.

"That's none of your business," she hissed. "Keep your mouth shut about my life. You don't know anything."

 

"Hey, look! Now you know what it's like to live in my world!" A sardonic round of applause. "Isn't it just annoying to have someone assume they know things about you?"

 

"That's not the same," Aurora hissed. "And it's not fair of you to compare these things! Because, you know, I actually know things about you? And you don't know things about me? So keep your mouth shut."

 

"Well, maybe, just a suggestion, a tiny one," Pearl waved her hand slowly. "You should maybe not keep things that I need to know from me. I mean, being a snake such as yourself, it might be hard... but you're a smart girl, you can do it."

 

"Don't be rude," Aurora snapped. "I've done more for you than anyone else, and I don't owe you anything, and definitely not extremely personal information about my life."

 

"Oh, yes, your life. That whole debacle with Rose was almost certainly about _your_ life." Pearl rolled her eyes. "Oh, wait. It had absolutely nothing to do with you! Amazing. You are a lying snake, and I honestly, really want you to go and die. Thanks."

 

Abruptly, Aurora stood and turned.

"You're being impossible to deal with right now," she said, hard. "And I don't need that, I got enough to deal with. Well done, Pearl, you're doing a fantastic job at driving away the people you care about. Yet again. And here I would've thought you'd learned something." She didn't look at Pearl as she opened the door to step outside.

 

"This is why everyone hates you, Rori. You're so good at blaming people," Pearl replied, shrugging. "Nice job brainwashing my only friend, you ugly cunt! It's not as if you knew I had no one else."

 

Aurora told herself she didn't even hear what Pearl said, but she knew that was a lie. It hurt.

She didn't reply, just closed the door behind her a little bit more forcefully than necessary and let out a long breath.

"Fucks sake," she muttered under her breath.

 

Pearl looked at the door and felt alone, once again. She gave a deep sigh.

 

Amethyst had simmered down while Aurora was talking to Pearl, and felt guilty and dejected by the time Rori came out. From the looks (and sounds) of it, her talk with Pearl hadn't exactly gone very well either.

"You okay, man?" she asked.

 

Aurora once more pinched the end of her nose and then winced. She hissed. "We're leaving. This was a stupid idea. What on Earth made me think she'd want to see me?"

 

"I dunno. Maybe we thought she was actually better?" Amethyst shrugged, then hung her head. "Why do things have to be so hard?"

 

"Lousy, ungrateful, unhelpful, hurtful little shit." She punched a wall and heaved a sigh. After a pause, her shoulders slumped. "And I deserve every bit of it."

 

"Nah you don't. You've done nothing but help her. She's gonna see that eventually. Right?" Amethyst grimaced. From the way Pearl was acting right now, she actually kind of doubted it.

 

"I did something she didn't want. She isn't going to forgive me for this. She isn't going to forgive me for holding information. I did things to her when she was younger and she still hasn't let those things go!"

 

Amethyst looked away.

"At least you have some consideration for her feelings," she said. "All I do is push her away whenever she gets too close."

 

"I'm no better than her. I'm no better than her when she hurts me. I've done awful, awful things. And she's my sister. I should be better."

 

"Can you stop blaming yourself already? There's nothing you can do about that now anyway. Let's just go home." She linked arms with Aurora. "Ugh, I wish I hadn't agreed to go to see my mum, I'd rather just have a nice evening with you."

 

Aurora sighed. "Yeah. I guess it was too much to hope to spend any time with Pearl. I want to fix things. I just... don't know how. I miss her. I miss the Pearlie that still loved and respected me and it hurts to be treated like this, but... I'm not better."

 

"Y'all just need to properly talk out your stuff at some point. I guess now's just not the best time? But it'll get better." Amy stuffed her hands into her pockets. "Can we go home now?"

 

"Yes, I'll drop you off on the way back. Got everything?" Aurora nodded and began to walk. "If anything at all happens, call me and I'll be there in two shakes of a hare's tail."

 

"Sure. I'm not expecting anything out of the ordinary, though. At least Dad isn't there to fuck things up. Mum can actually be sort of decent sometimes." Amethyst drew up her shoulders and hunched. She didn't want to go.

 

"No one ever expects something awful to happen. Just be careful and know you don't have to deal with anything nasty. I'll leave you some food for tomorrow, anyway. We can have a boxing day lunch... made of way too much Christmas leftovers. Eh. It's always that way, isn't it?"

 

"That sounds awesome." Amethyst didn't sound very enthusiastic. Her fight with Pearl had drained her, and she really wasn't looking forward to going home to her mum.

 

"I'm sorry I can't be much more helpful." Aurora gritted her teeth and balled her fist. "I.... Well. Merry Christmas, Pearl. Thanks for leaving us like this."

 

 


	28. Act IV - Chapter VI: Weak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ronnie's (sockseevil) graphics tablet broke, so these illustrations were made on a broken tablet. He apologises for the low quality.
> 
> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> Mild content warning for discussions of emotional abuse.

 

Anxiety had driven Pearl to reach for her phone again. Her crutch. Her one connection to outside.

A message.

Probably the phone company. She rolled her eyes and flicked a digit over the screen to delete it, but felt her heart nearly stop as she realised the sender. She swallowed. Rose.

She read it instantly. Her heart beating. A silly grin over her features for the first time in a month. She felt alive. She felt like breathing again. She -

She found the dial tone ringing Miss Quartz back before even rereading the whole thing.

 

Rose was out for a walk, because she was already getting tired of her mother's company.

Her phone rang, and this time, her thoughts immediately jumped to Pearl. She got it out - and it was her! Rose's heart skipped a beat. She answered.

"Pearl?" she said. Trying not to let her worry bleed through her voice too much.

 

 

"Miss Quartz! I just got your message. Oh, I'm sorry if I worried you! I... just noticed the missed calls. Is... everything alright? How are you?"

 

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm okay, just worried about you! I'm so sorry about earlier." There was more that she was sorry for, but she couldn't very well say that. "Are you okay?"

 

"...Yeah. It's good to hear your voice, anyway. Feels like it's been months since I got here. You lose track of time. I take it... everyone at school knows what happened."

 

"No, not at all. Aurora told me, but said not to tell the students. I told Amethyst before school ended that you were ill and weren't going to be back before the holidays. That's all." Rose took a deep breath. "How are they treating you? Have you had visitors? I've been... thinking of you."

 

Pearl's heart fluttered at the words. Even at mentions of her sister and Amy, she didn't sink. "Just had a couple today. I think they're pleased with my progress. They're being nicer here. It was awful at first. Really lonely but... you know how antisocial I can be. Probably my fault. Oh well. How's everyone been? How have you been?"

 

"I've been... good." Rose wasn't going to tell Pearl that Diamond was hounding her at school, that she was really not looking forward to returning to school. "I met a, um. Really nice guy." That was probably not what Pearl wanted to hear... at all. Rose swallowed.

 

Pearl fiddled with her phone but forced a smile. Rose couldn't see it. But she had to sound convincing. "Is he cute?"

 

"Very," Rose admitted. She didn't really know what else to say; she couldn't very well admit to Pearl that she'd basically been using Greg as a distraction.

Well, at least at first. Now... things were different. He'd grown on her. A lot.

"Do you know when you'll be getting out?"

 

"No idea. Probably before school starts. I take it that... you're still going to be..." _Avoiding me._ "Keeping your distance. You didn't need to lie to me, you know. I'm am adult. Rori told me things."

 

Rose fell silent. Her hands were shaking, and she knew it wasn't just because of the cold.

"What... did she tell you?" she said, her voice faint.

 

Pearl's voice turned a little less warm, too. But... not angry. Not even all that upset in tone. Just... solemn. "The truth, Rose." She then swallowed as she realised she'd called her by her first name. She instinctively felt the need to apologise but no words came out. Her throat dry as memories of that day, only a few weeks back came to her. Aurora. The bath. Her anger. She felt more powerful now. "I think I forgive you. I'm not upset about you doing it. You... must have had your reasons. I can't be bitter about that." _Because I love you too much to be bitter._

 

Rose couldn't even say anything. Not about Pearl calling her by her first name, not about Aurora telling her the truth, not about anything.

She swallowed. Her heart felt like it was going to explode.

"I'm... sorry." Fuck, she sounded like she was about to cry. She probably was. But not while on the phone to Pearl.

 

Pearl felt a pang of regret as Rose's voice faltered. She'd... never heard it do that. She'd never seen weakness. Only thorns and beauty in her Rose. "Please. I forgive you. I'm just... sad you didn't think I'd understand. I appreciate the fact you tried to humour me. I do. I just wish... you could treat me like an adult when there are things I can handle. I am an adult. I could've understood if it was about my eating. Yeah, I was a danger to myself but this... this really hurt my feelings because I thought you hated me. I thought I'd overstepped my boundaries and then I got mad and thought you'd been playing with me. You... wouldn't do that, would you?"

 

Rose took a deep, shaky breath. She was sure Pearl could hear over the phone.

"I wouldn't," she said, her voice trembling. "I promise. I... I'm sorry, Pearl."

She wished so hard she could tell Pearl she loved her.

 

"It's okay, it's okay! Hey, you're meant to be... the strong one here. I didn't know teachers could cry!" Pearl tried to jest. But Rose's voice was too frail on the other side. Too quiet. She curled a fist. "I'm sorry for all those months of manipulating attention from you. I hated myself for it, Miss. I was just... so entranced by you. You were so much more than me and I wanted all you could give me. I'm sorry it went this far. I'm sorry if you're in danger. I was in love with you. I still... am." She swallowed. Wincing.

 

Rose drew another skaky breath.

"I'm fine," she said softly. "Don't worry... I'm okay. I- I should go. Pearl..." She swallowed. "Please let me know as soon as you're out, okay? You... you can call me anytime."

 

Pearl sighed. "Yeah. Sure. It was... nice talking to you, Miss. Merry Christmas and all that, right?"

 

"Merry Christmas to you too, Pearl." Rose blinked. The cold wind was making her eyes water. "Take care of yourself, okay? ... Goodbye."

She wanted to tell her to call her Rose again. That 'Miss' had stung more than she wanted to admit to herself. She hesitated for a very long moment, then hung up.

And then assured herself that it was definitely just the cold wind that was making tears run over her face at a rapid rate.

 

Pearl put the phone down. It wasn't even all that late, but the sky was dark, despite the off white sheet that covered it. Pretty. It was pretty. The snow, visible under amber hued lamps gently drifted down to earth. An odd fullfilled sensation toyed with her insides. It felt like something had changed. Rose had been... vulnerable. As if she'd grown five years younger. Reachable.

Human.

Pearl put a hand on the window. She'd visit Rose when she got out. Yes. She'd see her again.

 

\--

 

Aurora warmed her hands over the fake flame. A cup of hot cocoa, taste tinted with the Bailey's she'd once planned to gift to Marigold as a stocking stuffer, at her side. She'd put the old CD the children's choir she and Blue had once sang in on the background, trying to pinpoint her own voice in the childish crowd. Despite the sullen day, and her lack of company, she felt an odd ease. A relief. She'd planned to spend this all with Marigold. And now she had to treat herself, instead of her mistress. And perhaps, her body had needed the rest. The alone time.

She blinked when her phone buzzed. Surely, her parents wouldn't text her. Not after the yell and strop and scream she'd sent their neglectful way. And Marigold had been blocked. Amethyst? Her eyes widened. Did she need help?

No. An unlabelled number.

 

 

_"Merry Christmas, Aurora."_

 

Aurora quirked a brow, glancing over the mystery message. Swallowing as color drained from her face. Perhaps it was a contact she'd not put in- but who? She had everyone neatly arranged in her address book.

She read it no less than four times. It wasn't cryptic. No sender she knew of. The number wasn't at all familiar. She sighed. Her finger lingered over the delete, but never pressed. No. It couldn't be her. She'd been blocked. Besides, Marigold didn't care about her anymore. She resisted the urge to imagine the principal alone in that big, big house. She wouldn't be drunk, would she? No. Maybe?

Aurora sighed. What use was Marigold's word to her?

Well. From whoever it was. She pressed the phone to her chest and closed her eyes, wishing a merry Christmas back.

 

_"I miss you."_

 

Aurora’s heart skipped a beat.

No. No. It wasn't her. An ex, maybe? But that would have to have been years back! All the way to when she actually... had the freedom for exes.

_"New number. Who's this?"_

 

_"No, I'm the one with the new number."_

 

Aurora froze. Her hands trembled. She quickly typed in 'never call again', and briskly stomped to the balcony, throwing the phone off the edge and not walking back into the warmth until she was assured it was gone. A twenty storey drop versus a smartphone left her with pretty good odds of that.

Her hand felt hot, rash. As if any thought of the principal was an infection. She proceeded to sprint to her room and lock the doors.

Her hands scratched at her scalp in frustration. How could she be so weak? Get so easily upset? She didn't even know if it was Marigold. What if she'd offended her parents? Someone else. She screamed into a pillow. She needed to be stronger.

 

Amethyst managed to suffer through Christmas with her mother for a whole three hours, and then she made her excuses and left. She'd barely been able to eat dinner. She hated being in this place. She just wanted to go back to Rori and do nothing for the next two weeks.

She unlocked the door to the apartment quietly. "Rori?" she asked. "I'm back!"

 

Aurora had wrapped up underneath a throw on her sofa. Trembling a little. "Oh, Amy. It's only you. How'd it go?"

 

Amy thought the wording was a bit weird. "Awful," she said, stomped into the living room and dropped into the sofa next to Aurora.

She noticed her trembling. "You okay?" she asked. "You cold? I can turn up the heating."

 

"Only if you want to." Aurora gave a hesitant nod. Something seemed off. An almost glazed look in her eyes.

 

Amethyst got up to turn up the heating and then came back to sit down next to Aurora. Nudged her gently with her elbow. Aurora was almost nonresponsive, not at all like she was usually. "Did something happen?"

 

Aurora flinched at the touch. "Nothing," she lied. Voice all too hollow. "Looks like you're tired. Maybe you should go to sleep."

 

"Nah, not yet. We haven't had our Christmas yet, have we?" She frowned at Aurora. "Something's up," she said. "Are you gonna tell me about it?"

 

"Yes, I suppose we should celebrate. Christmas is the centremost holiday of the year." Aurora froze as she caught Marigold's words escaping her own lips. Her eyes widened. She had to hold herself up. Knees didn't feel right. She could barely stand. Her mind felt overwhelmed, too many thoughts, too many emotions to process.

 

Amy watched as Aurora tried to get up. "You okay?" she said, concerned, and got up, holding out her hands to support Aurora. "What's wrong, Rori?"

 

"Amy." Aurora managed to force herself to get up. She caught an edge in her voice - and the fact that it was so reminiscent of Marigold's edge cut her in half. She tugged at her own hair. It needed to stop. She needed to banish all the Mari still inside of her. "I suggest you leave me alone just for a bit." She nearly slapped herself. It came off as cold. Like Mari. Like Marigold. No. No she needed to repress it Those feelings. No. She couldn't have them

She couldn't miss Marigold.

 

Amy frowned. "You sound like something's twenty kinds of wrong. What, did Diamond call you or something? I'm not just gonna leave you like this, c'mon."

 

Aurora feel to her knees at Marigold's name. Tears finally leaving her. "She's going to kill Pearlie. I just know it. It's going to be Lars all over again! I'm... She's going to act all upset with me and Diamond will see her and destroy her."

 

Amy crouched down next to Aurora and put her arms around her.

"Hey, Rori, hey," she said, rubbing her back. "It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. I'm not gonna let anything happen to her." She hoped she could keep that promise.

 

"How can we protect her? I couldn't even protect the rest of the kids she attacked. She killed."

 

"They weren't your sister," Amethyst said, "and you didn't have me backing you up. It's gonna be fine, okay?"

 

"I won't be able to. If the parents couldn't prove it, how could I?"

 

"You won't let it get that far. We're gonna protect her." Amethyst rubbed her back lightly.

 

"I miss her." Aurora couldn't look at Amy. "The only reason I'm not begging her to take me back and fuck me right now to teach me a lesson is because my phone is now dead."

 

"What on earth did you do? ... what happened?" Amethyst asked. She hugged Rori close. Something bad, evidently.

 

"I got texts. From a number I didn't know. I think it was her. I don't know. They said they... missed me. And I miss them too."

 

"But you blocked her!" Amy looked at her, wide-eyed. "Or... does she have a new number? Anyway - if it's her, that's such a cunty thing to do. Wow."

 

"I think it was. They specified on being a new number." Aurora shook.

 

"What a cunt. Hey, you need cuddles. Should I get some ice cream? We don't have to do anything." Amethyst sat back up on the sofa and held out her hands to Aurora to join her.

 

Aurora looked up at Amy, and then back down. "I'm going to be just like her. I'm going to hurt you."

 

"That's silly. C'mere. You're doing just fine, okay? I'm not that easily hurt." She held out her hands once again, silently asking Aurora to come up to the sofa.

 

"But what if I do? What if I'm just as bad as her? What if the next thing you know, I'm kicking you out in the cold and you have no way of getting home so you stay out on my front porch for an entire night and you catch pneumonia and you nearly die?" Aurora found herself dragging deeply, that entire block of speech had come out on a solitary, frantic breath.

 

Amethyst stared at her.

"The fuck... did she really do that? Wow, Rori." She decided she'd waited long enough, and grabbed Rori's hands and pulled her up onto the sofa and into a hug. "You'd never do that to anyone. I know you wouldn't. You're a good person, okay?"

 

"She isn't a bad person. She is... but she isn't. She never... I... I love her, I want her back." Aurora began to sob into Amy. "I need her to hold me and tell me it's going to be okay because she's the one person that... that's been there. And I owe her a lot. The money, the gifts, everything. I love her."

 

"You don't owe her shit." Amethyst's voice was hard. She'd learned that a long time ago. Her parents always tried to buy her love back. Guilt her into loving them because they bought expensive stuff. It worked, it really did, and Amethyst hated it. Hated them for doing this to her.

Hated Marigold for doing this to Aurora. "She just bought you shit to keep her control over you. And it's working, isn't it? Even now, when she wants nothing more to do with you."

 

"But the text... What if it's her? Amy, she has no other friends. No relatives. We've spent the past few Christmases together, she always invited me formally to services around this time and then taken me back and every time, every single time she's been alone. No one else can stand her. And now, she's utterly left all by herself. What if she was trying to reach out to me?"

 

Amy shrugged. "Maybe she was. She's still a cunt and doesn't deserve you. Don't you think there's a reason why nobody else wants to be around her? It's cus she's a cunt. And you can't keep running back to her whenever she shows signs of being nice."

 

"But she was everything I had. I could at least keep tabs on her that way. She's not safe right now. Oh God what was I thinking? I need to go back to her. I miss her."

 

"She quit drinking, right? She's fine. She's not your responsibility, anyway. And she's totally banking on you missing her. What would even happen if you went back? She'd yell at you and kick you out again, that's what. It's not worth it, Rori. Just stay here with me."

 

Aurora brought her knees to her chest and hugged herself, dipping her head down. "I'm sorry. About all this. I hate having anyone see me so weak. You don't need it, not with the things you're going through."

 

Amy shrugged. "I'm not really going through anything right now." She thought back on earlier, her fight with Pearl. All because Pearl had gotten a bit more touchy. Nope, no issues there, at all.

 

Aurora gave Amethyst a look, tilting her head. "Oh, please. You're young and in a crucial year of school. The last thing you need is to console these immature breakdowns."

 

Amethyst shrugged again. "I don't care. Or, well, I care a lot more about you than I do about school or whatever. Plus it's the holidays, and you have a lot of shit going on. I can deal."

 

Aurora sighed and then proceeded to pick up a pillow and scream into it. Loudly. She then brought her head back and through tired eyes, forced a smile at Amy. "Let's go and eat."

 

"Alright. You okay?" Amy watched Aurora closely. She was more than certain that the Marigold-induced storm had not yet passed.

 

Aurora merely shrugged. She needed to pretend. Enough flaws revealed. "How'sabout we get started on food... Actually... I'm really... sort of drained. I'm pretty sure some takeaway out there has to be open."

 

"Ah, man, no way! We got all this stuff, we defrosted the turkey and everything." Amethyst pulled a face. "Hey, if you don't wanna, it's okay. I can cook. I'm not actually that bad at it! You just chill. Or you can help, if you want, I don't mind."

 

"I'm not letting you cook Christmas dinner on your own. That's a project." Aurora forced herself to join Amethyst. "Only if you wanna do this, though."

 

"Course I do! And you need something to distract you. C'mon, let's do this." She dragged Aurora to the kitchen with her. "I'm hungry," she said. "This is gonna be great!"

 

Aurora paused in the doorway, feeling warmth flood her cheeks. "Yeah. It is." She nodded, watching the other. For the first time in a while, she'd noticed that she no longer felt alone in someone's company. And, by God, had she missed that.

 

 

 


	29. Act IV - Chapter VII: Rip Tide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> Just as a heads up: We're introducing a new relationship in this chapter. That relationship is Jasper/Lapis.
> 
> We know this ship has its problems and that a lot of people really don't like it, which is why we're giving you this warning. We are, however, asking you to keep an open mind and if you can, stay with us! Like all other relationships in this fic, this one will change and we will do things with it, so just bear with us and see where we're gonna go with it. :)
> 
> Content warning for mental health issues and unhealthy relationship.

Lapis Lazuli was a person of pragmatic purchases. Three bags of shopping were hard to hoist up seven flights to her apartment, but she wasn't going to admit defeat and force Jasper to come down and help her. After a cold, soggy seventeen minute struggle, she'd managed her way up. At least boxing day sales had their perks.

She gave a sigh of relief as she opened the door a crack and called out. "Is she in her tank?" Malachite had a nasty habit of getting out and escaping through the front door whenever she'd exited - and Lapis was no stranger to that. But there was no reply. Curious, she slowly paced in. No scampering at her feet. Huh. "Jasper? You home?"

 

Jasper hadn't even heard Lapis come in.

She'd taken the iguana out of her tank and was playing with her while listening to very loud music on headphones. Louder than normal. She barely ever listened to music when she wasn't working out.

It was one of her last resorts to drown out the noise in her brain.

She jumped when Lapis entered the room and took off the headphones. "Lapis! You're back early."

 

Lapis nearly slumped in relief. "Jesus, Jasper I got really scared for a minute. Are you okay? There's barely any light in this room." Curtains down. Lights off. Malachite scampered over to Lapis’s now bare feet and lazily stuck her tongue out. Lapis imitated and then stuck her tongue out at Jasper. "You look rough."

 

"Yeah, well, it's nothing you need to worry about." Jasper already regretted taking off the headphones. She put them back on and avoided Lapis's eyes.

Lapis knew something was up. Lapis always knew. Lapis knew her far too well. But Jasper had avoided talking about this for nearly a month, and she could avoid it longer still.

 

Lapis, however, had endured quite enough. She hovered over Jasper, sat in her lap and removed the headphones, slowly. "I think we need to talk."

 

"No we don't. Get off me." Jasper attempted to reach for her headphones, but Lapis was holding them out of reach. "Lapis, come on."

 

"I know this is how you cope with things, but I've given you a month to cope with it this way, and I haven't been able to sleep this week because of your night terrors. It's getting worse. So. We..." She tucked the headphones into a shelf over Jasper's reach. "Are staging an intervention."

 

"You are doing no such thing. I'll break up with you again." It was an empty threat, and they both knew it. Jasper sighed. "I don't wanna talk about it."

 

"Fine. I just wanna know what Quartz has to do with it. You two literally never talk."

 

"Quartz?" Jasper gave a bitter laugh. "She's got nothing to do with anything. I don't know how you'd get that idea." She longed for her headphones back. Lapis alone couldn't drown out the noise in Jasper's head - and it was getting louder. Quartz. Jasper hated her. Hated her. And of course this had to do with her. Why did Lapis know her so well?

 

"Oh, sure, sure." A sarcastic nod from Lapis. "Though, I should maybe record you asleep tonight. You kept calling out for her with enough vigor to make the entire seventh floor think you're fucking a rock at three am. Not that I would judge, but..." She booped Jasper's nose, gently. "It begins to be a me problem when I can't get away because you have me wrapped up in those big ass arms of yours."

 

Fuck. The nightmares. Of course Quartz was haunting them, had been ever since... back then.

Lapis didn't know about that. Jasper sighed. She curled said big ass arms around Lapis and pulled her close.

"I never told you about all of that. What... happened with me and her, years ago." It was surprising, but then again, Lapis and Jasper had been on and off for over two years now and there were still so, so many things Lapis didn't know about Jasper.

 

Lapis didn't hug back. She rarely ever did. But she did peck Jasper's cheek. "Then, maybe, you should tell me. If I'm letting you live here, you need to let me sleep. And I know you're not going to sleep alone. So I'm shit out of luck, here. C'mon, coach," she teased, swiping a strand of hair out of Jasper's face. "How about we shower and talk about it? Your hair's got more grease than my chip fryer."

 

"Rude," Jasper pointed out, but with little force. She knew Lapis was right. And maybe it was time.

"Fine." She rolled her eyes, pushed Lapis off her lap gently and got up. "You know talking isn't gonna solve shit, though. It's still gonna be bothering me at 3am."

 

"Fine. If it doesn't, it means you're a lost cause and I'll have no remorse over waking you up." Impossible. Jasper slept like a log. "Don't forget that I have papers to mark, unlike you. And if you don't sort this out, I'm making you mark year seven book reviews with me. Yes. You're coming down with me."

 

Jasper groaned. "You wouldn't." Lapis would. Which made her threat all the more terrifying. "You're a fucking monster, you know that, right? Let's just go shower and get this over with."

 

Lapis paused. Her posture immediately tightened. She shot Jasper a look. "You know I don't like it when you call me that." She threw a towel at Jasper's face. "What shampoo do you want? Yes. We're using conditioner, you have killed wherever you've got left on your head with bleach. I'm not letting you ever do your hair without me again."

 

"My hair's just fine, thank you very much," Jasper snapped. The thought of showering was making her skin itch. It would be okay with Lapis there, but there was a reason she tended to avoid it so much. "Let's just go, okay? The sooner we get in, the sooner we can get out."

 

"Relax. I could be making you have a bath." She rolled her eyes and then processed the edge in Jasper's voice. "Hey. No. You're getting better. Do you remember when you didn't shower for a month and you nearly got suspended by Diamond? You've made so much progress since then."

 

Jasper pressed her lips together. She didn't like thinking about that. Or anything, really. "No." She took her clothes off and hesitated for a long moment before clenching her fists, nails digging into her palm, and getting in the shower. "Come on."

 

Lapis decided on the heavy moisture shampoo and gently slipped out of her sweater. She gave a quick look in the cracked bathroom mirror. She'd broken it after a particularly nasty argument, just a few months ago. "I'm coming. It'll be quick. Let's just get you nice and clean, okay?"

 

"Fine." Jasper hadn't unclenched her fists yet. She just stood in the shower, naked, waiting. "Hurry up."

 

"It's such a shame you hate this. You look all hot when you're wet. All slick. You know there's that Turkish wrestling sport?" Lapis climbed in and immediately began to scrub shampoo into the locks. Her voice needed to be a distraction. "With the oil? You'd be really good at that. And you'd look really hot."

 

 

Jasper almost smiled. "Bitch, please. I'm always hot." Her muscles were tensing up. Water washing over her skin. Flashbacks to scenes anyone else would long have forgotten. She'd gotten better at controlling it. Lapis was right. She could endure it now, having a shower once or twice a week. Still: the fear was always there. The anxiety, bubbling in her stomach, threatening to boil over into all-out panic at any moment.

 

 

"True, true." Lapis slowly squeezed at Jasper's ass and winked. "But I'm no bitch, bitch. Anyway. What's your plans with the kids for new year? I take it that the year sevens aren't as afraid of everyone's favourite coach as they were in September."

 

This time, Jasper actually smiled. For barely more than a moment. "Gymnastics. They'll hate me. I'm already looking forward to it."

 

"Ooh, way to weed out the prizes from the litter. Don't tell me - you're going to make them jump over the horsey thing, right? My legs were always too short and I was a fat kid, okay? Everyone would be like, 'aaah, there goes little Lazuli, falling on her face again'. And that I would." She worked the shampoo into a lather and took the shower head off to spritz the mane from the back.

 

Jasper breathed a low chuckle. "You'd hate me if you were a student here. Not that you don't." She felt the warm water on her back, but she could also feel Lapis's hands. They made it okay. She breathed: in, out.

 

"I hate everyone. You know that." Lapis moved onto massaging in the conditioner. "Once I'm done it needs to stay in for a minute. I turned the heater on so if you need to step out while it sets, that's okay."

 

Another breath. In, out. "I think I'll... be okay." It was a challenge. Not a particularly pleasant one, but a challenge nonetheless. Her fists were still curled. "It's easier if you touch me," she told Lapis, unnecessarily. Lapis knew. She always knew.

 

 

Lapis gritted her teeth and wrapped her hands around Jasper. Her fingers carelessly touching patches of the vitiligo. "Of course."

 

Jasper could feel Lapis tense up. "You don't have to hug. Just touching is fine." Another breath. In, out. The water warm on her skin. She found one of Lapis's hands and managed to unclench her fist for long enough to interlace their fingers.

 

Jasper's right palm was paler than Lapis' olive skin. It often made her smile. It didn't, this time. But she took the hand. "Just a couple of minutes, now. Have you eaten?"

 

"No." Silly question. Jasper had no idea how to look after herself if Lapis wasn't around. "Can you get the conditioner out yet?"

 

"Yes. I'll have to be quite thorough. Please don't panic, okay? Hold my hand."

 

"I'll be fine," Jasper hissed through clenched teeth. If there was one thing she hated more than water, it was being treated like she was weak by Lapis. She tensed up, waiting.

 

"If you say so. I'm making chicken. I got some fillets, half price. Mmm. Protein." Lapis hated poultry. "You want it made super hot?"

 

"Whatever." Jasper's shoulders slumped. "Didn't you want to talk?"

 

"Are you ready to talk right now? Or do you want to finish this first?" Lapis let the water flatten the bleach burnt hair, it felt like straw and she would never tell Jasper how much she loved the texture.

 

Jasper gave a noncommittal shrug. After a few seconds (breathe in, breathe out) she said, "Quartz and I trained together. We had the same supervisor."

 

"Huh. You're older than her, though." Lapis blinked, turning off the showerhead and finding the towel from earlier, outstretching it for Jasper. "And?"

 

"Rose got her fired. I never understood why. She... favoured her. Over me." Talking about it was like opening old wounds. Jasper clenched her fist again. Unclenched it before stepping out of the shower and into the towel Lapis held out.

 

"How the hell did she get her fired? Why?" Lapis patted Jasper down and threw a bathrobe over her.

 

"I have no idea." Jasper's voice betrayed her bitterness. "Her name was Roxy. Roxy Dayman. I... kind of had a crush on her. Okay, I loved her. But Quartz was her favourite. I'm pretty sure they had some kind of thing going on."

 

"But why... would Quartz get her fired then? How?" Lapis frowned. She led Jasper into the kitchen and sat her down, unloading the earlier shopping. "And why would it make you so upset?"

 

"I was still in training when it happened." Jasper watched Lapis handle the shopping, well aware that she should probably help, yet she didn't move a muscle. "Quartz finished before I did, and then Roxy got fired and I got assigned an absolute ass of a supervisor." She sighed. "Roxy was... pretty much the first person who ever showed me kindness after I got out of the military. I wasn't used to it. She knew about my... episodes, my issues, and she was so understanding and patient and accommodating. It's because of her that I'm even functional right now. I have no idea why Quartz did what she did. I can't think of any reason. Other than a personal vendetta against me."

 

"With all due respect, babe, I really don't think Quartz gives a single shit about you." Lapis turned the oven on and began to season the chicken. "But can't you get back in touch with your old supervisor?"

 

"Don't you think I tried?" Jasper growled. "But no. At first I couldn't find her at all. Didn't have any contact details, or the ones I did have were wrong. And then when I actually found her, she completely rejected me, said she wanted nothing to do with me. Something about letting go from the past. I haven't spoken to her since."

 

Lapis began to put together a salad. "But why would Quartz purposefully try to hurt you? Did you two ever have a fight or disagreement? Like, before this shit with your supervisor."

 

"No. I was jealous. I think she knew. She was generally... distant, but not unfriendly." Jasper shook her head.

 

"She's not distant. She's stupid. Honestly, Jasper." Lapis laid out two plates and mixed kale into the salad bowl. "Quartz may know her biology but she's not like us. She's as dense as a three tonne brick and doesn't have the capacity for malice. I think... you may once again have a communication problem. Don't look at me like that. You know it's something you struggle with."

 

Jasper avoided Lapis's eyes.

She was probably right. She usually was.

"Did you... notice," she then began. This was stupid. Of course Lapis would have noticed. All staff had noticed. "Before the holidays. Diamond was treating her differently."

 

"Mm." Lapis looked down at her nails, fixing then a little. "The Diamond watch reports she's been following Quartz around. And not in a good way. It's an intimidation tactic. I just wonder what's gotten her on Diamond's bad side. Like I said - dumb as a post. No threat. Although... she did come to me about a student back in September."

 

"That's not unusual." Staff talked about students a lot, after all. "But the whole thing just... gives me a really bad vibe. It's why I've been having nightmares. I don't know exactly what it is. But it's brought all the stuff with Roxy back."

 

Lapis nodded. "You can't control your triggers. That's not your fault." She sprinkled croutons into the bowl. "Tell me, though. Did you know the student? You must've- she was one of the really good dancers. Shame about what happened. Poor girl's been a mess since. Reminds me of you, actually."

 

"Of course I know Pearl." Jasper's voice was softer, now. She'd liked Pearl. Had been sad to hear of her accident. "Roxy was a dancer, too," she added, like an afterthought. "She taught biology and sports, that's why she supervised Quartz and me both."

 

She slid a beer to Jasper like a chess pawn and opened her own. "Pearl's a biology major, now. Spending a lot of time with Quartz. Bizarre, really. She's been neglecting her English, too. Since the start of the year. Comes to my lessons but head's in the clouds. Catch her looking at the labs a lot."

 

Jasper's stomach was feeling uneasy. She took the beer, opened it but didn't drink. She really didn't like the direction Lapis was going in. "Can we stop talking about it?" she asked.

 

"Hmm. I knew you'd say that. And don't think you're alone in that discomfort. It's the reason I didn't stick my nose in it when Quartz actually came to talk to me about her. However, Pearl has also been absent from school for two weeks since we all broke up. They told us she was at hospital - doubt you got the memo, you no longer teach her. But they didn't tell us context. Quartz knows." Lapis swallowed some of the beer. "I think you should talk to Rose Quartz - about this supervisor and the student. Christmas was too boring and I need a good scoop."

 

"I'm not..." Jasper swallowed. "I'm not the one who should be talking to Quartz about her student." Far from it. Jasper had no idea what was going on, only that she wanted to stay as far away from it as humanly possible. "But... if you think I should talk to her about Roxy. Maybe I should."

 

"The scoop, Jasper." Lapis tapped the beer. "Anything you can get. You know I like knowing things."

 

"Yeah, well." Jasper shifted, took a sip of the beer. "Have you considered that it might be none of your business?"

 

Lapis snorted. "Of course. But I like business. I hate being left out. It's trapping."

 

Jasper shrugged. "Can't promise anything. But I'll talk to her. When's dinner gonna be ready?"

 

"Just wait for the chicken." Lapis poured the dressing over her side. White and creamy. "Two minutes. But talk to her, okay?"

 

"Sure." Jasper hesitated, then reached out and, in a rare gesture of genuine tenderness, touched Lapis's cheek lightly. She then took out her phone. "I'm writing her an email."

 

Lapis saw it coming and didn't back out. "Good. Don't let me down. Or yourself. This could be healthy, you know." She turned to the stove and threw chicken onto the salad and passed it and the cesar dressing to Jasper. "Eat your protein."

 

Jasper took the food without complaining and dug in. It was good. She finished her food within minutes and set the empty plate onto the coffee table. She then took her phone again from where she'd put it down and stared at the empty email she was supposed to be writing to Quartz. "What the hell do I even say?"

 

Lapis shrugged, taking the dishes to clean. "That you feel you've got some unfinished business you wanna talk about."

 

"I can't just say that. What if she thinks I want to kill her? Well." It probably wasn't that far from the truth. "But still. Not everyone's as direct as you."

 

"You could let me write it."

 

Jasper hesitated for a long moment, then passed the phone to Lapis. "Fine."

 

She tapped away for two minutes and passed it back. The email was extremely brief. "Hey, Rose. I feel like it might benefit us both if we maybe met up before school started. I need some closure on something that's been bothering me. Please contact me or Lazuli if you aren't sure. Looking forward to your correndespondence. Happy holidays. J."

"There." Lapis rolled her eyes.

 

Jasper read over it. "That sounds... surprisingly civil," she said. "When did you learn to be nice?" She tapped the screen a few times to send the email. "There. Sent it."

 

"Oh, please. There's enough bitchy undertones in there to ensure she'll come." Lapis rolled her eyes and dried the dishes. "I'm manipulative. Sue me."

 

Jasper chuckled. "Give me more reasons to distrust you, please." She refreshed her inbox. She didn't actually expect an answer this quickly. But it couldn't hurt anyway.

 

"It's better if you don't, it really is." Lapis rolled her eyes. "Go and see what Malachite is up to. We've left her free for too long."

 

Jasper put her phone away and got up, looking for the reptile. She found her in the dark spot between the cupboard and the heater - it was one of Malachite's favourites. "Here she is," she announced proudly before putting Malachite back in her terrarium. "I don't think she was chewing on the wires again."

 

"You're going to drive me crazy someday." Lapis blew a kiss to the iguana. "I bet she's going stir crazy being locked up in here for winter."

 

"She's gonna be fine." Jasper stretched out and grabbed her phone. Refreshed her inbox. "Holy shit. Quartz already wrote back. ... She's free a couple days from now. Holy shit."

 

"Well, my dear." Lapis gave a cheshire smile. "It appears you have a date."

 


	30. Act IV - Chapter VIII: Uneasy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got some fanart!  
> Gosh, we do love getting fanart... this one is absolutely wonderful!  
> [Check it out here!](http://amonisdark.deviantart.com/art/Educating-The-Victim-Act-IV-Chapter-VI-Weak-650309259)
> 
> Content warnings for this chapter: abuse and mental health issues.

 

Jasper's message had been surprising, but not unexpected.

Rose Quartz had been wanting to tell Jasper the whole story for years. Jasper had avoided her rigorously, so she'd never gotten the chance to.

Over the past few days, ever since she first got Jasper's email, she'd thought about Roxy a lot. Cried about it yet again. She'd told the story to Greg, and Greg had listened patiently. It seemed that although years had passed since it happened, Rose was still not fully over it.

But now was not the time for weakness. For Jasper, she needed to be strong.

She found herself about fifteen minutes early at the cafe where she'd agreed to meet her colleague. She found a seat, ordered a coffee and waited.

 

 

Jasper's entire walk to the rendezvous was filled by harrowing anxiety. Would Rose even want to open up? Would she laugh? She wanted to return home. But it was too late. She'd made eye contact.

 

Rose spotted Jasper, smiled and waved her over to her table. Watched as Jasper approached, wary as a wild cat. She looked nervous.

Rose thought of the pieces of paper she had in her bag. She'd promised herself she would never look at those files again. She'd broken that promise, many times, and yet again this morning when she'd printed them out to show to Jasper.

"Hello, Jasper. How are you?"

 

"Fine," Jasper lied. "Hope getting here wasn't too much trouble for you, Rose."

 

"No trouble at all." Rose cast a hesitant smile. This woman likely hated her. It was something she'd had to live with for so many years.

"You said you had something you wanted to talk to me about," she said. It was better to cut to the chase.

 

Jasper settled down. "Our old supervisor. I need to know some things about what happened."

 

"Indeed." Rose took a deep breath. She stirred her coffee. "I'm sure you're aware that at the time, Roxy and I had an affair."

 

"It wasn't hard to guess." Words were bitter. Like coffee. "Why did you do it to her?"

 

Of course Jasper blamed her. It made Rose feel guilty about not telling her about this sooner. "We have to start at the beginning. You might not know this - I broke up with her around the time I finished my training." She clenched her jaw, then took her bag and pulled out the papers. "I found out some... things about her. Bad things. She... she was..." It was difficult to talk about it, even now. "You should see for yourself. I found this, online. Have a look. Her username is pink underscore diamond."

 

Jasper's mouth opened and then closed with gritted fear. Her eyes scanned the page. A set of printed off Livejournal entries. She began to frown before leering at Rose. Eyes near aglow in contrast to her intense liner. "Can you prove this is her?" It was a snarl.

 

"I can, and I did. She even admitted it when I confronted her about it." Rose looked down. Clenched her jaw again; fought back tears. "You can read this later," she said, her voice shaking ever so slightly. "It's... a lot to take in. But... she was a predator, Jasper. She purposely sought out young, vulnerable individuals. Gave them love and attention until they were utterly devoted to her. And then used and manipulated them for all they were worth. I know, because she did it to me."

 

 

"But it wasn't like that with me. It never went anywhere predatory. I'm a grown woman, for fuck’s sakes! She just listened and helped me. That woman was no predator."

 

Rose sighed.

"She gave you love and attention," she said. "She got you exactly where she wanted you. Utterly devoted to her. She had me at the time, so she didn't need to go any further with you. But... she would have, Jasper. She would have. And you were so vulnerable. She would have destroyed you."

 

"But I was in love with her. I loved her. She was the only reason I kept going through my training!"

 

"Only because it benefitted her." Rose took the papers and leafed through them. Pages upon pages, until she found what she wanted. "Here, have a look at this."

It was a comment by an anonymous user, asking, _Do you actually care about the people you do this with?_

pink_diamond had replied, _No. They're all just fun to me. I like the power it gives me, nothing more._

 

Jasper's expression turned grim. "But when she left... She said she wanted nothing to do with me and that you'd told her awful things about me. That doesn't line up with anything. Why didn't she manipulate me into anything?"

 

Rose didn't smile. "I threatened her," she said, her voice now audibly shaking. "I threatened to expose her to everyone if she went after you. I knew you were going to be her next victim. I did everything in my power to make sure you were safe. I know I scared her, because she actually did what I told her. And didn't come after you. I... I've wanted to tell you for years, but I hurt you too, by doing that. You weren't ready to hear it."

 

"But she was our supervisor. My supervisor! She... was everything. And I still want to find her."

 

 

Rose closed her eyes, let out a shaky breath.

"Please don't," she said softly. "It's been years, but I doubt she's changed. She showed no remorse whatsoever."

 

"But she wasn't like that! I don't... understand. I would've been fine. Everyone hurts everyone, it's a fact of life. So what if she would have hurt me a little? Just means I need to grow a thicker skin."

 

"She would have destroyed you." Rose clutched her coffee cup. "She almost destroyed me, and I was a lot less vulnerable than you. No offense."

 

Jasper gritted her teeth. "I didn't come to have my mental health insulted by you, Rose."

 

 

"I'm aware of that. I'm sorry." Rose sighed. It seemed she could do nothing right. "I just know that you have issues. As do I. We were both young and vulnerable and she was a predator."

 

Jasper didn't know what to say. Her brain felt like it had somehow survived a nuclear bomb. There was a ringing in her ears. She needed to stop it. Lapis. The scoop. "Couple of staff told me about Pearl. I've heard you're close to her. Any idea what happened?" The diversion was clumsy. Her tongue felt heavy and dry.

 

Rose went pale. Pearl. Did Jasper have to bring up Pearl?

"She's... in hospital." That was not news; Jasper likely knew that. She'd come here for details. Rose wasn't sure she wanted to give them.

 

Oh. Indeed. Jasper nodded her head solemnly. "She was a good dancer. A great girl. Shame she's been avoiding me like the plague."

 

"She injured her knee. She can't participate in gym classes anymore." Rose sighed. "I doubt she's avoiding you on purpose."

 

"No. I'm aware she's not going to participate. But I've actively tried to communicate my condolences and see if she needs support and she's gone out of her way to miss me."

 

Rose hesitated.

"She's... a bit of a special case." It was surprising, thinking about it. "She doesn't let people in easily. I've managed to help her a little, but I seem to be an exception."

 

"It's always you, huh. The Principal's assistant is her sister. Taught her until she finished school. Interesting, that."

 

Rose looked at Jasper.

"I don't know what you're implying," she said calmly. Straight forward.

 

"Trying to figure out a connection as to why Diamond's been hounding you down. You've got a union, right?" Jasper pretended to fix her nails.

 

"Oh. That." Rose went back to avoiding Jasper's eyes. "Diamond thinks my relationship with Pearl is too close. Which it isn't, I assure you. It's strictly professional." She was lying, and she knew she was. Just because nothing had happened... she thought back to her phone call with Pearl a few days ago. She'd all but broken down on the phone. Her feelings for Pearl had long surpassed anything that was still professional and acceptable.

 

"Surely she's not allowed to harass you? It's a system of innocent until guilty, and you'd be out if you were guilty, right?"

 

"You know how she is." Rose sighed. "She's given me a formal warning, but other than that she's done nothing I can prove. If anyone asks she'd probably just say she's conducting a routine inspection of my teaching methods or something."

 

"Bullshit. We all know she's going after you. This isn't legal. You know you don't have to take it. I mean... Shit, she's the boss but... come on. Her and the assistant go home together a little too much to not be... y’know... scissoring or some shit."

 

"Aurora just drives her home occasionally, to my knowledge." Rose couldn't imagine the homophobic Principal doing anything like that. On the other hand... she was sure that the relationship Aurora and Diamond had wasn't healthy. If Jasper was right - she didn't even want to imagine the implications.

 

"Hickeys don't lie, Quartz. And as a person who's tried very hard to make my skin look like it's a single colour - I can tell a hastily applied bit of foundation. But keep denying it. Diamond's mistreating you. I can see that. If this..." She pointed at the printouts. "Is true, I owe you a debt for saving me. I don't want to owe you jack shit."

 

"You don't owe me anything, Jasper. I don't expect anything from you." Protecting people was what Rose did. What she'd always done. In the cases where she succeeded, that was enough of a reward. The cases where she failed haunted her forever.

 

"That's not the way I operate. I'm going to keep an eye on you. And Diamond. I'll be here if you need me. I'd better go home though. What's done is done."

 

Rose inclined her head. "I appreciate it. It was good to talk to you, Jasper. Feel free to keep these." She pushed the papers towards Jasper. "I hope you have a good day."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've actually written some of Roxy's livejournal entries - you can find them [here](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/post/154520591859/educating-the-victim-roxys-livejournal)!


	31. Act IV - Chapter IX: Damaged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> Content warnings for this chapter: mentions of abuse, fatphobia, self-harm.

 

Jasper had taken Rose's papers and not looked at them until she was home, but they were on her mind constantly on the way back. She didn't know what to believe, and she wondered what Lapis would think about all of this.

Her hands were shaking as she unlocked the door to Lapis's apartment. She didn't say a word as she dragged herself into the living room and collapsed onto the sofa.

 

 

Lapis had been ironing some freshly washed laundry in the kitchen, and swiftly switched the decide off to find Jasper. "Oh. Shit. Didn't go well, then? That's alright. I'll just have to get her fired. No one hurts you but me."

 

"She didn't." Jasper raised a hand. "She... according to her, she was protecting me. She says Roxy was abusive. And would have targeted me next. She gave me these." She handed the papers over to Lapis.

 

Lapis was about to refute, but the papers held her attention. "Livejournal? What is this, two thousand and nine?"

 

 

"Yeah. It's from way back, when we were still in training." Jasper shrugged half-heartedly. "I haven't read all of it yet. Apparently it's legit. Actually her. Rose said she had proof."

 

"Hmm. This does seem awful enough to get anyone fired. Rose managed to do it to your Roxy. Kind of suggests this has to be valid."

 

Jasper was silent for a few moments.

"I don't want to believe it." She stared down at her hands. "Roxy always seemed so loving and wonderful. Supportive. I loved her. I don't want to believe this. I don't want to accept that Quartz saved me from her."

 

"You don't need to accept it right away, but if this is her, it's pretty damning. You said she was dating Quartz? It talks about someone of her... Stature. And not very kindly."

 

Jasper felt sick.

"It must be about her. She said Roxy... damaged her." She fell silent for a few moments. "If it's really true, she's really brave to admit it to me. And show me this."

 

"Mm. Guess she's not as thick as I thought." Lapis mused, flicking through the stack. "Oh, here's one. 'The trainee coach tries to get my attention constantly... She’s fun to play with. It’s like fishing. You’re waiting for the bait to catch. And she will swallow it. Hook, line and sinker.'"

 

Jasper turned pale.

"That's me. She's talking about me." Her hands were shaking. "Rose was right. I was gonna be the next victim."

 

"Well, then. She saved you from something godawful - and another lesson in always listen to Lapis has been learnt. " She clapped her hands, smirking at herself.

 

Jasper didn't answer. Her hands were shaking and she could feel it building up. It was already too late to stop it. All she could do now was ride it out. She hid her face behind her hands, nails digging into the skin of her face. Shaking all over, now. Her breaths quickened, her heart beating out of control. Too late to stop it.

 

 

Lapis recognised the panic attack too late. She skipped to Jasper, keeping a foot between them. "Jasper. Jasper, breathe. This must be a lot to take in at once. Let's just try and relax."

 

Jasper tried. Lapis's voice got to her as though through a thick cloud of fog. Breathing proved impossible. She was heaving now, gasping for breath while tears ran over her face. Shaking, hiding. Tensing up. Memories assaulting her, making her flinch and curl in on herself. It was only going to get worse. She felt the overwhelming urge to scream and punch something.

 

Lapis took a step back, had a deep inhale and swiftly collected Jasper's convulsions into her arms. She tried not to hold her chest too much. She'd get hurt a lot from this. But it was the quickest way to calm Jasper down. "Breathe," she whispered. "Breathe with me."

 

Jasper only just managed to control herself into not pushing Lapis away violently. Instead, she dug her nails into her scalp. Anything but taking this fury out on Lapis. She'd done that far too many times before.

She concentrated on Lapis's voice. Tried to follow her. Tried to breathe. Tears still running down her face. One of her nails was coated with wetness now - she must be bleeding. She didn't care. The pain took away some of the panic. She dug her nails in deeper. The urge to push Lapis, to hurt her, was getting stronger. Almost overwhelming. Jasper pulled at her own hair, keeping her hands busy. Lapis would forgive her. She would stay. She always did. But Jasper needed to control herself.

 

Lapis noticed the blood and gave Jasper a little breathing space, still holding her. "Stop. Do it to me. Please. Don't hurt yourself. I'd rather you do it to me."

 

 

Jasper hissed at Lapis's words. "No," she managed. Despite her words, she let go of her hair with one hand and grabbed Lapis's arm. Nails digging in. She tried to breathe.

 

"Good. Good." Jasper was a caged tigress. A wild, flighty animal ready to pounce and Lapis was all too aware of the danger behind those catlike eyes. She inhaled at the pinch of skin. "I love you. Everything is going to be okay."

 

Breathing got easier. Jasper trusted herself to move. She used her hold on Lapis's arm to tug her closer. Pulled Lapis into her lap and kissed her violently. Teeth grazing lips, holding her in a crushing grip. Lapis hated it when she held her like that. But Jasper needed her.

 

Lapis let her. With anyone else she'd struggle. She tilted back after a few seconds. "You're all I have in this miserable world. Don't hurt yourself. Please."

 

Jasper was still taking quick, shallow breaths, but at least she was breathing. She tried to slow her breaths down a bit and loosened her grip on Lapis. "I'm fairly indestructible," she said. Leaned in and kissed Lapis again, a little more gentle this time. "Don't worry about me."

 

"I can protect you from everything in this world," Lapis sighed, bleary. "But yourself."

 

"I'm fine." If she was honest, Jasper didn't want Lapis protecting her. Felt weak for needing to be protected by her. "I can look after myself." The lie was so blatant, so obvious.

 

"Yeah?" She touched the blood trickling down the side of Jasper's face. "Well, I'm not okay. Not when you lie to me."

 

Jasper looked at Lapis for several seconds. Then, because it was easier, she kissed her again.

She swallowed the apology that made its way up to her tongue. Lapis didn't like it when she apologised. Lapis knew. Knew and stayed anyway.

 

Lapis made an honest attempt to kiss her back. Even getting a little lost in it before opening her eyes and withdrawing. "Let's burn some calories. I think you need to take your mind off things."

 

\--

 

Amethyst was by herself this time. Aurora had driven her here, but refused to leave the car.

"I don't need to subject myself to Pearl's abuse," she'd said. "Just try to keep it short, okay?"

Amethyst had no idea if she could keep that promise.

She took a deep breath as she reached Pearl's door on the ward. Clenched her fists, then raised one of them to knock on the door.

 

Pearl had been napping. Still distraught from her past experience with visitors, and utterly convinced they'd not want to see her again, she didn't register the knock at all.

 

When she didn't get a response, Amethyst sighed, then knocked again, more determined this time, and opened the door just a crack.

"Pearl?" she asked. "Are you there, can I come in?"

 

Pearl shifted, drowsy. It sounded like Amy. But it couldn't be. Amy hated her. She lifted her head off of her pillow, wondering if she'd started to hallucinate. "Hello?" Her voice was meek.

 

 

"You're there!" Amy came in, closed the door behind her. "Oh shit, were you sleeping? I didn't... I can go, if you want me to." She hovered near the door, uncertain.

 

"No, no." Pearl did up a few buttons on her gown. "I don't really do much but sleep nowadays. It's alright." She then blinked. "You're here."

 

"Yeah! Of course I am." Amy fidgeted. Not sure if she should come closer. "I'm by myself," she added, perhaps redundantly, but she felt it was important to let Pearl know that her sister wasn't about to come barging into the room.

 

Pearl noticed Amy's apprehension and it stung. It honestly just hurt. The fact that her only friend felt uncomfortable in her presence.

She'd screwed up everything.

"I'm glad you came back." Her lips felt dry. "I wouldn't have. Not after the way things turned out."

 

"Well, yeah, I guess you're lucky I'm a loyal piece of shit. You ain't getting rid of me that easily," Amy said and then decided fuck it, if Pearl hadn't thrown her out right away then she probably wasn't going to, so she came closer and let a hesitant grin spread over her features. "Hug?" she asked, holding out her hands.

 

Pearl smiled. A genuine, real smile as she clung onto Amy. She didn't let go, even though her hug time ran past being a social faux pas.

Mostly because she'd began weeping into Amethyst's hair.

 

 

Amethyst hugged Pearl back. Held on to her.

Pearl probably needed _a lot_ of hugs, so Amy really didn't mind when the hug went on for much longer than it usually probably would have.

She noticed something was off several seconds in.

"Hey... are you crying?" she said, slightly uneasy. "Hey, Pearl, I'm here. You don't need to cry. It's okay."

 

Pearl's body trembled as breathing became hard. "Oh, Amethyst," she whispered. "I'm so, so sorry." She nuzzled into the crook of her neck, smelling something all too familiar. Aurora. Her sobbing increased, shaky and distraught as guilt swept her. "I'm - everything. You - didn't deserve - anything bad. I'm so sorry."

 

"Hey, hey. Let's sit down, okay?" Amy led Pearl back to the bed and put her arms around her, holding Pearl against her. "It's okay," she said. "It's okay. You were just trying to be affectionate. It's okay."

 

"But... it's not just that. I've hurt you. And Aurora. And probably even Rose. I'm not a religious person but… maybe something put me here."

 

"Yeah, so what? I've hurt you too. Rori hurt you. Miss Quartz sure as heck hurt you. People hurt each other." Amy shrugged. "You don't deserve bad things just cus you're human, okay? C'mere." She curled her arms around Pearl a little tighter.

 

"I hate Aurora, but even if she was trying to manipulate me, I shouldn't have lashed out,” Pearl said. “It was Christmas for Christ's sakes. I... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm so... needy of people and expect my friends to want me. I shouldn't have. I keep teasing you and baiting you to see if you like me and... it's not fair on you. You just want to be my friend."

 

Amy blushed.

"Well," she said, "I mostly don't wanna be used as a distraction from your precious Miss Quartz. But that doesn't mean -" She stopped herself. Looked away.

 

"It was never like that. I don't get what's wrong with me, but even when I tried to convince myself I was hetero, I couldn't stick with just one guy, you know. I thought that maybe now that I'd decided to be honest with myself and went for women, I could get over it but... I can't. I just can't. I can't bring myself to just love one person." Pearl hugged her knees. "Maybe I'm a bad person or a cheater or don't deserve to be with people. But I'm sorry you of all people got caught up in it."

 

"I dunno." It was confusing. Amy didn't understand. "But, like, compared to her I'd always just be second best. I mean, you're... in love with her. Like, for reals, you got some kind of true love soulmate bullshit going on or whatever and that's not gonna change, is it? Least of all because of me." She hid her face.

 

"Oh, fuck off." Pearl rolled her eyes. "Amethyst. Amy. I have. Borderline. Yes. I love Rose Quartz. We get these awful crushes, okay? On people that we can never have. I've had my feelings for Rose in several other people. This might be the most intense. But, so what? That isn't special. You know what is?" She gently tugged at Amy's hands. "A friend that's actually stayed by me for more than a month. Someone that's seen the worst in me and still decided to visit me in hospital."

 

Amy still avoided Pearl's eyes.

"She's been there for you longer than I have. And she loves you. I can tell. She was upset when I yelled at her because of you and it wasn't cus I was yelling but cus she knew I was _right_. She... didn't you say you talked to her? What did she say?"

 

Pearl swallowed. "Well. We just… talked. It wasn't as awkward as it used to be but that's probably because she pities me. She's probably just... angry with herself. She had responsibility over me and tried to get me to eat and... well." She indicated to the room. "Look at where we are. But… that's not relevant. I don't get how to explain it but... even if all my dreams came true, Rose decided to marry and then fuck me and then give me all the attention I could ever ask for, I'd still want you too. I love you. Differently, but by no means less, okay?" She then flopped back on the bed. "Maybe I'm just a whore. I mean... I've sucked enough dick in my time. I didn't even enjoy it. Is this it for me?"

 

Amethyst just shrugged. She didn't know what to make of all this. She didn't believe Pearl. It just seemed so... improbable.

"I dunno," she said.

And then decided to change the topic.

"You know when you're getting out yet?"

 

"Don't care." It was a matter of weighing out, but Amy's sudden quietness was starting to trigger at Pearl's discomfort. Did she honestly... not even care? "Maybe I'll have to redo this year twice."

 

"Nah, c'mon. You're smart. You can do this." Amy knew there was probably another discussion about relationships and feelings in store for her, but she was going to deflect any attempt at that for now. She had no idea what she was dealing with and she needed some time to sort out her feelings.

Which... she likely wouldn't. Dealing with feelings had never been her strong suit.

 

Pearl didn't really react at the encouragement, only because the air felt awfully awkward. She coughed. She didn't understand, she'd been honest and direct and... things still hadn't turned out well at all. "I'm kind of sleepy," she lied.

 

"Oh." Amy looked down. "Sorry. I'll... just go, I guess."

 

"Lemme know how things are. You... have my number." Pearl forced a pleasant smile. At least Amy couldn't call her out for being awful.

 

"Yeah, sure. I guess I'll... see you around." Amy got up. "Um. Yeah." She held out her arms for another hug.

 

Pearl met the hug and nodded. "Kick my sister in the teeth for me, will you?"

 

"Nah. She's my friend." Amy hugged her for just a few seconds and then let go. "Try to get out soon, okay? I don't wanna be at school without you, it really sucked the last few weeks when you weren't there."

 

Pearl didn't want to face school ever again. "I can't wait! See you!"

 

"See ya," Amy said. "Lemme know when you get out, okay? Bye!"

She closed the door behind her and clenched her teeth.

That... could have gone better.

 

Pearl watched the door close, feeling utterly void, once more. She sighed, gritting her teeth. Was she really all that unloveable? Unworthy of being understood by the one person who was meant to understand?

She sighed, closing her eyes. The less she moved, the less she burnt, the more she'd put on and the faster she'd be out.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We wrote a steamy insert for Jasper and Lapis. [You can read it here!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8908588/chapters/20407696)


	32. Act IV – Chapter X: Respect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't already, [check out the insert for last week's chapter!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8908588/chapters/20407696)
> 
> Also check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> Content warning for this chapter: xenophobia.

 

It was New Year's Eve, and Blue and her partner were on their way to Blue's parents' house.

Blue shivered a little in her leather jacket, but she would never admit that she was cold. They were going to be the only ones there; Pearl was still in hospital and Aurora had outright refused to come. So Blue had obviously selected this evening as the perfect opportunity for her parents to meet Azure.

"Nervous?" she asked Azure with a smile.

 

 

Azure's exhale was frosty. "As I'll ever be. It's a milestone." Meeting parents. She clenched her fists behind gloves. "Have you told them much about me?"

 

"A little, I suppose. I don't talk to them much. They know we're dating." Blue's parents did not know about Aurora and Marigold. They also did not know about any of Pearl's exploits. In a way, Blue was closest to her parents out of all the sisters, and she lived furthest away.

 

"That's at least something," Azure replied. Her phone buzzed and she picked it up before looking at Blue and switching it off. "You get one day with me being disconnected. Make it count."

 

"Oh, I will." Blue grinned and leant in to kiss Azure's cheek. "We’re nearly there," she then said, looking out the window. "This should be fun."

 

Azure allowed for a smile to hover over her lips, before moving a hand to hold Blue's. Indeed, their taxi made its way to a halt outside a snowy suburb.

 

Blue paid for the taxi before getting out and skipping around the car to hold the door open for Azure. "Home sweet home," she said ironically, gazing upon her childhood home.

 

 

Azure grabbed her cane and lifted herself out of her seat before taking a few small steps. She looked at the house, vast in its size. The front garden didn't look as if it had been tended to at all, next to the rows of festive decorations on the porches of the neighbouring houses. She looked at Blue, and trod over to mess her hair. "Let's see, then."

 

Blue cast Azure a fond smile and stepped up to the front door to ring the doorbell. Her other hand found Azure's. This would be... interesting, to say the least.

The door was opened a few moments later. Her mother stood in the doorway, smiling. "Blue! It's so good to see..." She caught sight of Azure, and Blue cringed inwardly as her mother looked Azure up and down. "Is this her?"

"Can we come in?" Blue said impatiently instead of answering the question. It should be obvious, since Blue had announced she was bringing her partner and there was nobody else with her. "It's cold out."

 

Azure gave her a hesitant look. She felt a chilling pang of anxiety only slightly colder than the oudoors. Her belly sank and she suddenly felt much too floaty. She took an inhale. "Hi."

 

Blue's mother stepped aside. Blue wasted no time in dragging Azure inside with her and closing the door behind them.

"Hello," Blue's mother said. "I'm afraid Blue has neglected to mention your name, Miss...?"

"Azure Almas," Blue interjected before Azure had the opportunity to introduce herself. "She's the CEO of Blue Diamond Games? You know, the company I work for? Really, Mum, at least pretend like you give a shit about my life. I've told you all of this before."

 

Azure's throat felt dry. There was a distinctly uncomfortable atmosphere she'd been dreading to even think about encountering. "Yeah." Her voice felt completely off. As if it nearly wasn't hers. She felt a desire to reach out for Blue and embrace her, but met eyes with her mother and instead forced an awkward smile. "That's me."

 

"Ever so sorry," Blue's mum said absent-mindedly, "I have a tonne of stuff on my mind all the time. I'm sure you can relate, Miss Almas? Being a CEO and all?"

Blue was silently seething. "You're being rude," she told her mother, "you haven't even offered her a drink yet."

She found herself met by her mother's steely gaze. "You're so cold these days, Blue. You're starting to sound like your sister."

"Oh, really?" Blue snapped. "And which one would that be? The one who's in hospital for anorexia, or the one who refused to come here because you let the other one get bad enough that she had to put her there?"

She turned to Azure. "I'm really sorry, love," she said. "Should I get you some tea?"

 

Azure followed the exchange, the growth in volatility made her stomach twist and churn. She stared at the clock. Only ten. They'd planned to stay the whole day.

She realised she must've looked distant as she replied with a nod and the best attempt she could muster of her usual courage. "Sure. I'd appreciate that a lot, actually." Tea would ground her.

Why was this so difficult? Why was it easier to hold meetings and speeches than to look Blue's mother in the eye? She swallowed, straightening her posture. "Blue's been doing very well at work as of recent. She's the only one I've grown to truly trust with absolutely anything."

 

Blue immediately got busy with Azure's tea. She knew exactly how Azure liked it and went to make it perfect for her. She listened to the conversation from the kitchen.

"Oh really! That's... nice," her mother said. "Blue, what did you do to deserve that?"

Blue rolled her eyes and decided not to grace her mother's comment with an answer.

 

"She's more hard working than anyone else near my department. We've had some discussion of her getting to be a creative director but she seems very ademant to stick to what she's doing now. Though," Azure forced her best attempt at a comfortable smile. "She's a very good all-rounder- which is exactly why she'd be fantastic at direction."

 

"Interesting." Blue's mother didn't look or sound interested at all. Blue clenched her fist, ready to defend Azure at a moment's notice.

"I never would have thought that something as silly as video games would be a profitable thing to do for someone like yourself," Blue's mother continued.

Blue's hands trembled.

"And what exactly do you mean by that?" she snapped from the kitchen. The tea wasn't ready yet - she left it, all but forgotten, to stomp into the hallway and hover close to Azure in her most intimidating manner. Nobody - nobody at all - was allowed to hurt Azure.

 

And there it was. Azure swallowed dry air. She lay a soft hand on Blue's shoulder in a vain attempt to try and get her to back down. She kept her voice low. " _Easy._ " There was no need for Blue to be involved. She glanced up. The room suddenly felt extremely small. Tiny. Claustrophobic.

She clenched her fist and allowed herself to pokerface. "Excuse me?"

 

 

Blue's mum frowned at the display.

"Nothing," she said. Blue did not miss the way her eyes flickered to Azure's hijab, and her cane, and she was sure Azure did not miss it either.

The kettle boiled in the kitchen. Blue took a deep breath. "I'll get your tea," she said to Azure, forcibly keeping her voice calm. She felt the sudden urge to destroy everything in this goddamn house. She should have listened to Aurora.

Instead, she made tea for Azure and clenched her fists to stop her hands from shaking.

 

Azure took a deep inhale in. Change the subject. This would get better. They'd just need to work it out. "We're thinking of maybe getting some pet in the new year. Something low maintenance enough to not have to worry over when we both have long studio hours."

 

Blue had always admired Azure for her ability to change the subject at a moment's notice. She brought her tea through. "Do you want to go sit down in the living room?" she asked. Her question was only directed at Azure, but her mother followed them.

"Oh, a pet! How lovely," she said. "So, like, maybe a cat?"

"No, mum," Blue said, "more like a lizard or a snake."

 

Azure found herself in the living room and found herself feeling even more lost and almost on the verge of depersonalisation. Grounding. Grounding. She breathed. So. This was where Blue had been raised. It was... nothing she'd expected of Blue. Too ordinary. Too domestic. "I mean, I wanted an aquarium, but the fish I wish to keep need a more mature hand. I'm afraid I can only appreciate marine life as a spectator. But I did have a lengthy debate with Blue as to whether or not the lionfish was an idea. But she wouldn't even let me have a jellyfish tank."

 

"Fish are boring and a lot more work than you'd think they are," was Blue's considered opinion. "Unless we employ someone specifically to look after our fish. We could, like, transform an entire wall in our house into an aquarium. That'd be cool, wouldn't it, love?" She sat down next to Azure and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "You okay?"

 

Azure sat still for a second, as if calculating her answer and then softly pressing her lips against Blue's own. "Yes. I'm alright. How... long are we here for again?"

 

Blue recognised the code instantly: Azure was uncomfortable and wanted to leave.

"In theory, all day," she said. She eyed up her mother. "Really a shame Rori and Pearl can't be here, right?"

Her mother stiffened. "Are you going to blame us for that as well?" she said harshly. "You know we're too busy to look after Pearl -"

"- so you leave it to Rori to do the dirty work for you, just like you have ever since Pearl was six," Blue said, hard. "She's right not to want anything to do with you, you know."

 

Azure grew distant again as the tension grew more suffocating and arid. She tried to sip at her tea and softly took Blue's hand in hers. At work she could've controlled this. She had the power to. But here, in this home, she had barely any control. And it was scary.

 

Azure was tense. Blue squeezed her hand. Rubbed her thumb lightly over Azure's skin. She had this. It was going to be okay.

"And where is Dad, anyway?" she asked her mother, seemingly undisturbed.

"Your father is busy," her mum said stiffly.

"Really." Blue scoffed. "On New Year's Eve, and he can't even take some time to say hello to the only child of his that bothered to turn up, or meet my partner? You know, one of exactly two people who I actually give more than half a shit about?"

"Blue, that's enough," her mother said, sharp.

"Oh yeah? What're you gonna do? Kick us out?" Blue stared at her mum provocatively, squeezing Azure's hand.

 

Azure swallowed, sipping at her tea and putting the cup down. She held to the grip tighter. Blue had power here, it seemed. And she trusted Blue.

 

Blue's mother sighed.

"I'll get your father." She got up and left the room to go upstairs.

Blue turned to Azure the moment her mother had left. "I'm so sorry, love," she said. "I'll get us out of here as soon as I can, alright? It'll be okay. We'll have a nice day in the city." She leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Azure's lips.

 

"No. I feel I need to apologise, as if I've made things slightly more awkward for you. I'm happy to leave and allow you to celebrate with your family."

 

"What? No!" Blue shook her head. "None of this is your fault! They're just being dicks, and I'm antagonising them on purpose because they're being dicks. And if we leave early then it'll be just fine by me. I'd rather spend time with you than them anyway."

She kissed Azure again, a little longer this time.

 

Azure felt Blue's barbell play in her mouth as she kissed her, softly touching the cobalt hair of her partner. Blue smelt of the ocean and fresh linen. Azure closed her eyes for a split second. "It's all up to you."

 

Blue honestly just wanted to get out of here. Aurora was right. Their parents did not give a damn about any of them, and really, any time spent with them was just time down the drain - time that she could otherwise have spent with Azure.

"I'll get us away from here."

Two pairs of footsteps announced the arrival of her parents. Both of them, this time. Blue got up.

"Dad!" she said as they entered the room.

Her father was wearing his disapproving face. "Your mother says you're being confrontational, Blue."

Blue sat down again. A clear act of defiance. "Meet my partner. This is Azure."

 

Azure dug her nails into her palms and followed Blue. "Hello, there." She attempted to keep her voice more level than her internal turmoil.

 

"Oh!" Blue's father did the same thing her mother had done earlier - eyeing Azure up and down before saying anything. "Well, it's, ah, nice to meet you. You're certainly not what we expected."

"And what did you expect, exactly?" Blue snapped.

"Well, given that all of your previous girlfriends were..." He let his sentence fade out, but Blue knew exactly what he was referring to. Most of her previous girlfriends had been unemployed queer punks, for the most part white and able-bodied, and in fairness, Azure was nothing like them.

But Azure was also the most serious relationship Blue had ever had.

"You know, it would be rather refreshing if you guys could actually take me seriously for once," she scowled.

 

Azure let go of Blue's hand.

Her posture perfectly still, her eyes fixed on Blue's father. So. These were the people who had raised her.

There was barely any resemblance. Azure couldn't be happier.

 

"Well, now that introductions are out of the way," Blue's mum said, completely ignoring Blue. "Have you had breakfast? Or if you want, we could go for a walk -"

"- maybe not ideal," Blue interrupted, casting a look at Azure. "Yeah, I think we might not actually be staying until tonight. What do you think, love?"

 

"I just got a text message, actually," Azure bluffed, hoping no one would realise her phone was still off. "It might be Navy from the office. She'll need to see me."

 

Blue saw through Azure's bluff, but was grateful to her for providing her with a reason to leave. "Oh, is it urgent? It must be, she never rings your personal phone. We should go right away."

 

"I can call us a taxi. She did say she wanted to see you too," Azure said, voice icy. No one but Blue could have guessed she was fighting the need to chuckle.

 

"Leaving so soon?" Blue's mother looked disappointed. "And here you're one to talk about being busy on New Year's Eve! Well, at least your job keeps you busy." She came in and hugged Blue, who let her, but stepped away as soon as she was let go.

"It was nice to see you, Blue," her father said. "Will you be around later?"

"I don't know," Blue said. "You planned for dinner, right?"

"Nothing special. We know your work is more important."

Blue smiled amicably. "We'll see you around, then. Azure?"

 

"Already got the taxi en-route. They'll find us just a few blocks in that direction." Azure forced a smile. "It was a pleasure. Thank you for having me, sorry this got in the way."

 

"Yeah, yeah, sorry you have to leave so soon!" Blue could tell her mother's smile was forced. As was Azure's. She grimaced.

"Oh, and Blue," her mother said.

"Don't wanna hear it," Blue shot back.

"But -"

"No, really. I don't care."

"You could do to show us a little more respect, young lady," her father said. "You're not fourteen anymore."

Blue shrugged. "You don't particularly give a shit about me now any more than you did when I was fourteen. Why should I change when you don't? C'mon, love," she said, holding her hand out for Azure. "Let's go."

 

Azure stopped. She turned on her heel. Facing Blue's parents. "If it's not presumptuous to ask, how much do you earn per annum?" Her heart felt as if it was pounding out of her chest.

 

 

Blue turned pale. Her heart sped up.

And then, slowly, a grin spread over her features. This. This was exactly why she loved Azure.

Her father put on a smug face. "Presumably more than you," he said.

 _Bastard,_ Blue thought. "Don't be so sure of that, Dad." She didn't know exactly how much her parents earned. But she did know exactly how much Azure earned.

 

"Oh, please. Give me a figure." Azure rolled her eyes. "It isn't that hard. Or are you too ashamed to tell a poor disabled lady how much you bring home?"

 

Blue noted with satisfaction that her father started looking rather uncomfortable.

"About two hundred thousand, give or take. Why do you ask?" He worked hard to keep his composure. Azure was unsettling him, Blue could tell. She coughed to hide her grin.

 

Azure rolled her eyes. "And here I thought you were a CEO. Well, Blue." She gave her partner a knowing look at then allowed the smallest ghost of a smirk to pass on her lips. "Your sisters are going to be rather jealous they're not rich when you've got three hundred thousand for pocket money." She turned to Blue's parents with the steeliest glimmer in her eyes. "Don't you ever ask her to respect you when clearly, you respect neither her nor the rest of your children." And with that, she closed the door.

 

The last thing Blue saw before the door slammed shut was the outraged looks on her parents' faces.

When the door was closed, she burst out laughing. "That was amazing," she said, took Azure's face into her hands and kissed her. "Gods, I love you. I love you so much and this is why."

 

Azure held her for a good few moments before whispering. "Blue. You know that this means you've got to take charge, right? The money I'm giving you is to help you publish something. Make something." She swallowed. "Make something meaningful- for people at home that can't just get a few hundred thousand like that."

 

"Wait. You really weren't kidding?" Blue took a step back. "Holy shit, Azure, you can't just give me that much money just to spite my dad."

 

"We had to have a dramatic exit after that fiasco." Azure rolled her eyes and kissed Blue again as they began to walk. "And I trust you with this. I know you can make something extraordinary with it."

 

"That's ridiculous. You're ridiculous." A grin started spreading over Blue's face. "I could make that game I've wanted to make since I was thirteen. I've told you about that, right? Holy shit, I could make it _really_ good with that kind of a budget."

 

"It does mean you're going to have to step it up. This is my company on the line - You're going to be a boss for a lot of people," Azure said, her voice turning cooler. It matched the nippy air. "We'll talk business after this. Let's go to central. I want to forget that seeing those people happened."

 

Blue swallowed and nodded. "You know I can work hard if I need to. But yes, let's go into town! The Christmas market might still be up? And if it's not, I'm sure we can find something else to do." She smiled, took Azure's hand and dropped a kiss on her cheek. "After all, I have all this money now, so I might as well take out my girlfriend on a nice date, what do you think?"

 

"That money is to be spent on the company," Azure replied. "But, yes. Let's try that. I think the aquarium has a New Year's showing."

 

Blue shrugged. "Some of that money is going to be my wages, and I can spend those in any way I want. Let's go to the aquarium. That'll be nice." She squeezed Azure's hand.

 

The taxi arrived fairly promptly, and its insides presented a welcome warmth. Azure watched the snowy roads pass by with her usual calm. She'd been planning this for a while. Her work ethic had dropped significantly since the start of the year- not that she'd planned on letting it show, and waking up every single morning was that much more of a struggle.

Her eyes flicked back to her cane, safely tucked into the seat. It was only going to get worse, and Blue was yet to know she'd declared herself unfit for work. "You'd like being the CEO. You're always one to take power when you can grasp it."

 

Blue smiled. "Yeah, it'd be pretty cool," she said. "I'm not gonna get there for a couple years, though." The taxi was warm. It would be a few minutes to the aquarium. "Any ideas what you want to do after the aquarium?" she asked. "I wouldn't mind taking you out for dinner. I can even pay with my own money rather than the company's."

 

Azure's smile didn't fade. It had been this response, this atttitude ever since she'd met Blue. Ambition, but only reserved for the future. She pondered for a second if she'd let Blue have the news today, but concluded with leaving it. This could wait. It had been waiting since the previous January. "You choose, then. It's your money. You know what we both like."

 

Blue grinned, slightly smug. "I'll surprise you?" she suggested. "I have a few places in mind." She leaned in and reached out to tilt Azure's chin towards her, kissing her lips lightly.

 

Azure smiled into the kiss. "I can't wait. I do like it when you surprise me." The journey itself wasn't much longer after that, and the two found themselves discarded by the high street. "Oh, and so the market still runs." Azure raised a brow. "Can't stand it when things are late, but I do suppose this is to our benefit. Still want to browse?"

 

"Sure!" Blue smiled at Azure. "Maybe I'll find something nice for you. Or maybe for Aurora. I think the market might be on until early January? Who knows." She took Azure's hand again and made her way towards the stalls.

 

"Don't you have another sister?" Azure asked, playfully. Of course she knew about Pearl (the problem child, apparently). "Is she out of hospital yet?"

 

"No," Blue said. "Rori says she doesn't know when she'll get out. And Pearl is hard to shop for anyway." And would probably not appreciate a gift from Blue.

 

"You haven't seen her there," Azure noted. She knew talking about it was uncomfortable, but simply didn't care. "If she's got parents like... that, I can't help but to feel a little sympathy."

 

"Rori looks after her." It had always been like that. "I mean, what do you want me to do? Go... visit her? Pearl hates me. We just don't really get on. I don't see a point."

 

"She would appreciate it. I know I would. Wouldn't you want to see someone?"

 

"No," Blue said, hard. "Only the people I actually care about. Like you, or Rori. I don't care about Pearl and she doesn't care about me, and it's always been like that and it's not going to change."

 

"But she's your sister." Azure gritted her teeth. Blue did... this. This unnecessary coldness sometimes. It scared Azure.

The ruthlessness would make her a fantastic leader.

 

"You saw me earlier," Blue said. "I don't give a shit about my family. At least Pearl reciprocates the feeling. The only person I'm related to that I care about is Aurora, and that's just cus she's my twin. Do you want to eat something?" She gestured towards the stalls selling hot, sweet, greasy food that was probably not something Azure would want.

 

Azure turned her nose at it. "I'd rather not. But if it's something you desire, be my guest." She felt the need to lecture Blue but didn't want to cause a scene. Family was all she would ever have.

 

"Nah, I'm good. We could go find someplace else, though. Or do you want to go to the aquarium first? I don't know when they close." Blue had a look around - none of the stalls at the market looked particularly appealing.

 

Azure gently grabbed Blue's hand, warming it. Her tone shifted calmer, and she smiled. "Aquarium it is."

 

 


	33. Act IV - Chapter XI: Perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> No warnings for this chapter! (Wait, what?)
> 
> Enjoy :)

It was finally the day. Pearl had been confirmed at her recovery weight. All checks clear. All tests the healthiest they could be.

Her parents had been told to show up at two in the afternoon to pick her up. She waited with her nurse at the discharge. The time was already quarter past four, and the sky was beginning to grow dark. Even the nurse was beginning to grow uneasy. "I'm sure we've called them a few times..."

Pearl could only sit there in her sinking shame. Perhaps she could call Aurora to come and get her but... her pride and hatred for her sister kept that at a big no. And calling Amy would result in the same shit.

She was an adult. She should have been able to do it herself.

She could.

She found her phone. As the nurse was glancing away, she pretended to pick the phone up. "Mom!" She and the nurse exchanged hopeful looks. "Oh my gosh, what do you mean there's been an accident? You've called me a taxi? Why didn't you just say so? Outside? Okay, I got it." She gave the nurse a dismissive handwave and hobbled outside before another word could be given edgeways. She could see herself being watched by the staff and immediately tiptoed down to the taxi pool, rummaging for her wallet. Not much money remained.

Could she even go home? She wondered as she pushed herself into a black cab. Facing her parents again would be awful. She looked down.

"Where are we going?" The man behind the wheel was tall, heavy set, with dark features. There seemed to be a determined amount of kindness in his eyes. Pearl glanced up and spied the tag on his dashboard that informed her that his name was Ian.

She looked outside for a brief moment, and honestly paused. Where could she go?

She clenched her fist and gave the driver Rose's address.

 

Rose was getting ready for school to start again. Term was only a few days away, and she had been preparing lessons and tests ever since the new year started. It helped in distracting her from what was to come.

She wasn't looking forward to it. At all.

She was also trying very hard not to think about Pearl. Pearl, who she'd had that conversation with... who hadn't called again since.

Rose worried.

Greg had noticed her getting more and more tense, and there was nothing he could do. Rose felt a little sorry for him. But he couldn't help. This was something she had to go through by herself.

She looked up. The sky was dark - it was getting late. A heavy sigh. Another day passed; another day closer to the beginning of term.

 

 

The taxi deposited her outside of the area. Pearl swallowed. Could she even face Rose after... all this.

She forced herself to smile, which Ian the taxi driver seemed to heavily pick up on. "Hey," he said, taking the change and providing a card. "You stay safe. Call me if you ever need me for an emergency."

Pearl blinked. Perhaps this season just brought out kindness. But there was something genuine behind those glasses. She nodded and watched the taxi drive away.

Slowly, she paced the walk up to Rose's. At that point she realised Rose might not even be home. She could walk home from here, but... she didn't necessarily want to.

She heard a dog bark. It frightened her a little. But it seemed to be locked into the fenced area beside Rose's home. Trembling, she placed a finger on the doorbell.

 

The doorbell rang. Rose started momentarily, then got up. Who could it possibly be -?

Lion was barking, trotting towards the door behind Rose. Rose patted his head absent-mindedly before opening the door.

For a long moment, the world stood still.

"Who is it, love?" Greg called from upstairs. Rose didn't answer. She took a few moments. Her heart was beating very quickly.

"Pearl," she then said, quietly. "I... wasn't expecting you. Do you... want to come in?"

Greg was coming down the stairs now. Something clicked as Rose remembered he existed.

"This is Greg," she said. "Greg, this is Pearl. I've... told you about her?" She then leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek and whispered, "Could you give us a little time alone, please?"

 

Pearl watched. She just watched. She felt punched as she watched Rose press those soft lips against the strange man. As she watched Greg go, she felt herself shake. "I can... I can go, if you want me to."

 

"No, no, not at all!" Rose felt her cheeks warming.

Greg cast her a smile. "I'll take the van out for a spin," he said. "I'll be back later." And then he was off, the door closing behind him.

And then, Rose and Pearl were alone.

Rose took a deep breath, then came in and pulled Pearl into a hug.

"Are you okay?" she said. "Are you out now? I've been worried about you."

 

"I'm here, aren't I?" Pearl shrugged. She watched Greg leave and looked at Rose. "Who... was that?" A stupid question. She'd just been told. She wanted to go away. Of course Rose would have moved on. Of course.

She was just that unloveable.

 

"Greg. My boyfriend. I told you about him on the phone, didn't I?" Rose could see on Pearl's face that... this wasn't good. And a silly, irrational part of her wanted to tell Pearl that she'd been there first. She was just as important as Greg.

"Do you want anything? Tea, coffee? I think I might have some Christmas cookies left over."

 

"Oh. Yeah. Yeah." Of course. Pearl had been too preoccupied to remember. "No. I think... I should probably go home."

 

"Please, no. Stay, please. I wanted to talk to you. I'm glad I'm getting this opportunity now, away from..." Principal Diamond. Watchful eyes. "School," Rose finished.

 

Pearl paused, taking her coat off. Her expression was curious, cracked lips parted. "Aurora told me about the principal." Before the fight.

 

"Yes, indeed." Rose frowned. "I'm... so sorry, Pearl. About everything." She watched Pearl. "You look much better," she observed.

 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Pearl’s voice became abrasive. "I felt so abandoned, like it was all my fault. I could have killed myself over it. All you had to do was tell me the fucking truth."

 

Rose frowned. Did not show Pearl how deeply her words hurt. "Did you come here to chastise me, Pearl?" she asked, her voice soft. Only trembling a little. She was determined not to lose control again, not in front of Pearl.

 

"I came here because I have nowhere else. But, again, I can leave."

 

Rose swallowed. Did not reply, did not argue.

"Are you sure you don't want anything?" she then asked. "I have plenty, and you need to take care of yourself just now."

 

"I came here for answers, too." Pearl ignored Rose, and stared her down. "Why didn't you tell me?"

 

Rose avoided Pearl's steely gaze.

"I wanted to protect you," she said softly. "It was wrong. I made the wrong choice. I'm sorry."

 

Pearl looked at the ground. Hurt. "Protect me," she repeated. "I got the impression you hated me. And I think I understand. I think I get it." She seemed utterly numb. "It's okay if you don't want to have me around. If that makes you happier, I'll let it be. I love you." Her voice shook. Breathing heavier. "So whatever makes you happy, I'll gladly let be."

 

It broke her heart. It broke her.

And all of her resolve to stay calm and collected and in control crumbled. Tears stung in her eyes.

"No, Pearl," she said, "no, that's not it at all -" She reached out, touched Pearl's cheek. Her heart aflame. She blinked, her tears getting caught in her eyelashes. "I don't want you to leave."

 

Pearl flushed at the touch at her cheek. Drinking into the sensation as if she'd been stuck on a desert for the past month. "But I'm just causing you trouble. I'm in love with you. I love you. I'm just a student to you, Miss. And I need to learn to be okay with that. The fact that you have a life outside of school. That you have a..." She indicated to the door. "Boyfriend. And I need to learn that I'm not a part of that life, no matter how much I want to be."

 

Rose closed her eyes.

"You misunderstand," she said softly. "Greg isn't my _boyfriend_. He is one of my partners. I have a boyfriend, yes, but that doesn't stop me from seeing other people. Or, indeed..." She opened her eyes again. Looked directly at Pearl. "Having feelings for other people."

 

Pearl paused and then shrugged. "Doesn't matter either way. I just need to stop obsessing over you when it's not something you owe me, nor something that's actually ever going to happen to me. I mean, let's be real. Who on Earth would ever have feelings for a... someone like me?"

 

Rose paused. Her heart beating loudly, forcefully, like it was trying to come out of her chest.

"You really don't give yourself enough credit." The words were soft.

 

Pearl could only roll her eyes. Hugging her knees.

 

Rose felt her heart break yet again. She wanted to... she wanted to tell Pearl she loved her. She wanted to kiss her.

She couldn't.

"Pearl..."

She reached out again. Touched Pearl, again. She couldn't help it.

 

 

For the first time ever, Pearl jerked back. She shot a look up at Rose. Pained. "Stop it. You're only gong to make it worse. That's the way I want you to touch me every morning, Miss. I need to stop fantasising about waking up next to you."

 

Rose withdrew like she'd been burned. Couldn't hold back her tears anymore. She turned away, hid her face from Pearl. She didn't want Pearl to see her like this.

 

Pearl glanced up, she saw Rose turn. Her voice dropped. Scared. "Miss? Miss, I'm so sorry. Oh God. Miss... I shouldn't..."

 

It made it worse. Rose wished Pearl would call her by her first name, just once more. Every 'Miss' drove them further apart.

"I can't even touch you." Her voice trembled audibly. "You're in my house and we're alone and even now, I can't even touch you." She was losing control badly. She shouldn't. Pearl was her student. Her student.

 

"For fuck's sakes-" Pearl dug her hands in her hair. "I'd rather you do a lot more than touch me, but we both know you are never going to love me in that way. You're never going to actually care. And that's alright. I'm fine with you stringing me along and manipulating me for things if that makes you feel better. I love you enough to accept that from you. It might not be healthy but... I just want you."

 

Rose tried to pull herself together. Found that breathing was hard.

"Is that really what you think, Pearl?" she said, her voice thick with tears. "That I'm just... manipulating you, that I don't care about you at all?" _I'm her teacher... and here she is, in my house, watching me cry over her like a teenage girl. I really haven't learned anything._

 

Pearl gave the saddest of smiles. "You know, as a manipulator myself, I honestly couldn't care less. I love you, Rose Quartz. It doesn't matter how you feel."

 

Rose looked at Pearl. The seconds stretched. Her heart was beating loudly.

_To hell with it._

Diamond already hated Rose. There was no way she could be making this situation worse, exactly. The only one who really mattered just now was Pearl.

Her hand found Pearl's face again. Cupped her face gently, fingers dipping into Pearl's short hair. She leaned in. Barely hesitated before pressing her lips against Pearl's.

 

 

Pearl had expected to be kicked out. Told to go home. Stop pining. Stop hoping.

She felt as if every piece of her had turned into static, and the buzzing of said static had gone into overdrive. Her cheeks were hot coals. Rose's kiss was overwhelming to the point it took her a few seconds to actually reciprocate. Her lips were plump and tasted sweet - sugar. Something baked. Pearl's hands were eager to hold but she couldn't. She needed to respect. And she somehow managed to combat her desire to touch everything into softly pressing them against that midsection.

 

Rose barely gave Pearl the opportunity to kiss her back before pulling away. Her breathing was fast, her cheeks burning.

"I'm... sorry." She looked away. But she was still holding Pearl, holding her close, as if she was scared of ever letting go of her again.

"I shouldn't have."

Her actions spoke louder than her words. Fingers gently caressing Pearl's cheek, her hair. She wanted to kiss her again. She wanted to kiss her a million times.

 

Pearl read into the touches far more. It was what she'd been doing for months. She couldn't tear away from those dark eyes. "I love you," she repeated. "I love you." It was as if there was nothing more she could say. No other words.

 

And despite everything, Rose just leant back in and kissed her again.

She couldn't, couldn't admit to Pearl that she loved her too. She couldn't. Too much was at stake.

She shouldn't be doing this.

 

And Pearl could only melt. Everything just felt so... correct. So wonderful. So delicious. As if she was drunk but still sober. Stable but unstable. That goldilocks medium. That perfection.

 

Rose let the kiss drag out.

But eventually, she had to pull away. Her heart was beating. She was out of breath as if she'd just run a mile.

"Pearl..." she said. She was still holding her. Unwilling to let go. She didn't know what to say.

 

Pearl's hands still touched at Rose's sides. They were gently there, still afraid. But still there.

"I thought... you didn't..." she began. Eyes searching Rose's face for answers that even Rose probably had no idea of.

 

Rose swallowed. She wished Pearl was less scared.

She wished she was less scared herself.

"I..." Words did not come easily. "I... like you," she eventually managed. "A lot more... than I should."

It was a massive understatement, and now Pearl knew. Rose had kissed her. Was still holding her like she was the most precious thing on earth.

 

Pearl's laugh was nervous. "Why would you ever like someone like me? You're everything and I... I'm nothing."

 

Now it was Rose's turn to give her a sad smile. "Like I said," she said, "you really don't give yourself enough credit."

 

"I guess I don't." Pearl swallowed, and then began to giggle. "This is insane. I don't... ever want you to regret this."

 

Rose gave a low chuckle. "Give it a few days. Hours." She shrugged. "I... Pearl, I'm so sorry. About everything. You came here for answers, and instead you got... well. I suppose you don't think I should be sorry for this." She tried a half-hearted smile.

 

"Somehow, I think I'll be okay." Pearl hugged her again.

 

Rose smiled and ran her hands through Pearl's hair. Touched her cheeks. It felt so good to just be able to touch her. All of the tension had seeped out of her. She felt... okay. For the first time in weeks, she was okay.

"Diamond is watching me. I'll have to keep my distance when school starts again," she said softly. "But I don't ever want you to forget this, okay?" She rubbed her thumb over Pearl's cheek.

 

Pearl nodded. She finally understood. "We can still..." A thought came to her. "But what about him?" She glanced at the door.

 

"Greg?" Rose almost laughed. "I told you... or maybe I didn't. I'm polyamorous. I can have more than one partner. And feelings for more than one person. I would've thought you of all people... I mean... you like Amethyst, don't you?"

 

Pearl blinked. As if her head had just somewhat exploded. "Yes. Y-Yes, I do, but... she doesn't... like me, I don't think. Not like that."

 

"You could be wrong about that," Rose said. "The important thing is to be honest. Greg knows about you. You... we... we're not dating," she paused for a moment. "You're still my student. But... I want to spend time with you. More than just... what we've been spending together. I don't know how realistic that is..." She fell silent. She shouldn't. But she loved Pearl. She loved her.

 

"We could... we could still try. If this is all mutual, we can't let someone else stop it. I'm an adult. It would be different if I was underage." Pearl hesitated. "Can I call you Rose?"

 

Rose nodded. "Please," she said, and impulsively leaned in to kiss Pearl again.

"We'll work it out, okay?" she said, touching Pearl's hair again. "We'll figure this out. It'll be okay."

 

Pearl smiled at the kiss. Truly happy for the first time in months. Aglow.

"I love you, Rose," she said, again. "I love you so much."

 

 

END OF ACT 4


	34. Act V - Chapter I: Dread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)! On tumblr, we also track the tag "Educating the Victim".
> 
> You'll be happy to know you'll be getting longer chapters again.  
> But mostly because we have a literal shit ton planned for Act V and it would just have too many chapters otherwise.  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Content warning for this chapter: homophobia.

 

 

_For a five year old, weddings were exciting. At least, once the church bit was over. There were other children to play with. It was an excuse to dress pretty and fancy and spend the entire day with her parents. There was cake. Little Marigold Diamond loved cake._

_She was practically bouncing by the time they were driving home, high on sugar and excitement despite the late hour._

_ _

_“And did you see her dress?” she said, excitedly. “And there was so much cake – I love cake! Do all weddings have cake? I wanna to go a wedding every day!”_

_Her mother smiled down at her. “Yes, all weddings have cake,” she said. “But weddings are a very special occasion. They don’t happen that much.”_

_Marigold pouted, but then grinned. “But what if I have a wedding? I can get married a hundred times! I can have cake every day! And I’ll be the prettiest girl in the world, and there will be chocolate cake and lemon cake –“ She stopped, thinking. She wasn’t quite sure whether she preferred chocolate or lemon cake._

_Her mother laughed. “Oh, my darling,” she said. “You can only get married once, to a very special person. And then you stay with them for the rest of your life.”_

_“Hmm.” Marigold thought about that._

_“Is there anyone special in your life, Mari dear?”_

_Marigold’s face lit up._

_“Yeah!” she said. “I wanna get married to Emmie. She’s my best friend! And she’s so pretty and funny and we have so much fun playing together –“_

_Her mother’s expression darkened._

_ _

_ _

_“Marigold,” she said, and Marigold immediately knew something was wrong; her mother didn’t usually use her full name. “Girls can’t get married to girls.”_

_“Oh.”_

_It hurt, but Marigold didn’t know why it did._

_“Okay,” she said, because her mother was always right. “I’ll find someone else then.”_

_She looked down, sad._

_“Mari,” her mother said, her voice now a little more gentle. “Marriage is for a man and a woman. You understand that, don’t you?”_

_“Yes, mamma.” They’d talked about that before._

_“Everything else is wrong, Mari,” her mum said. “It’s an abomination, do you understand? God doesn’t like it. He will send you to Hell if you love another girl that way.”_

_Mari didn’t want to go to Hell. She shuddered. “Okay. I won’t.”_

_ _

_Her mother smiled. She reached out to ruffle Mari’s hair. “Good girl,” she said. “When we get home, we will pray together so you will never fall to urges like that, shall we?”_

_“Yes, mamma.” Praying with mum was good. It helped Mari be a good girl. She had to believe it really hard and then she would go to Heaven._

_“Is there cake in Heaven?” she asked._

_“Oh, Mari.” Her mother laughed. “More than you could eat in a lifetime.”_

 

\--

 

Principal Marigold Diamond got to school early on the first day of term.

The sky was still dark. There were no students around. She parked her car in the spot specifically reserved for her and got out. The morning air was chilly on her cheeks, the wind ruffling her hair a little.

The cold weather was no match for the coldness in Diamond's heart.

She was the first one here. It was rare that she managed to do that. She walked to her office, high heeled steps echoing through empty halls.

It was only when she safely closed the door behind her that she allowed some of the tension to seep out of her shoulders.

She sighed. Went through her regular motions. Taking off and hanging up her coat. Pulling out her chair. Starting her computer. Typing in her password.

As she waited for her home screen to load, she pulled out her phone.

It was reflexive by this point.

_Good morning, Aurora._

She had not received an answer to her messages since Christmas Day. Since she had texted Aurora from her new number, the one Aurora would not recognise.

Christmas had been lonely. As far as Diamond could remember, that had been the last time she had smiled.

She turned to her work. It was just after the Christmas holidays. Aurora had been slacking off before the holidays, refusing to come in. So very little work had been getting done. Marigold frowned.

She would have to discipline Aurora.

 

It had been this day that had filled the young secretary with unease, and now that the beginning of terms had arrived, she felt nothing but anxiety coursing through her.

Well, no, that was a lie. Anxiety, mixed with the utmost adrenaline of facing Marigold again. She'd bought herself a new phone. One with a new number- she'd even worked the balls to text Pearl her new number and had received no reply, but bore no mind on it due to Marigold occupying too much of her thoughts.

She'd been careful not to wake Amethyst as she crept out of the house. It reminded her of her old routine in a way, wake up, ensure Pearl was dressed and shove Blue out before she could complain. She'd left the kitchen full of breakfast opportunities, glad to finally share accomodation with someone else who legitimately loved food.

The atmosphere was frosty as she pulled in. She noticed Marigold's car straight away and was nearly frozen. She considered calling Amy for backup, or a moral boost, but realised her flatmate wouldn't be up for another hour or so.

She crept into school, finding the doors open. A cruel sense of foreboding inside. Perhaps she could run, but no, Pearl would be in today, and today her old role as secretary ended, and her new role as protector began.

Aurora waded into her office, and realised with an awful dread that she'd need to collect her laptop from Marigold's room.

She balled her fists. She couldn't run.

Aurora knocked on the door.

 

Marigold looked up. Barely half an hour had passed since she had arrived at the school.

It was Aurora, it had to be. Nobody else would be here at this hour. Nobody else would have the balls to knock on the door first thing in the morning.

"Come in," Marigold said. Her eyes sharp, her lips unsmiling.

 

Aurora swallowed. The air felt overweight. As if it actually had mass. It was crushing. She pushed the door open, forcing her face to keep neutral. "I came in for my laptop."

 

Marigold was taken aback for a moment.

She was here, she was really...

She hadn't texted her back. Aurora was no longer loyal.

Marigold didn't move.

"Happy new year to you too, Aurora," she said. Cold.

 

 

It took every last ounce of strength in her body for Aurora to force herself to move and pad over to the side of the room to pick the laptop up. It remained on a shelf. There was a picture of them there, both of them, from the fated Christmas party. She cursed inwardly, having hoped to never see it again after throwing out her phone. She picked up the computer, and without looking at Marigold, began to walk back to her escape. _Nearly there, nearly there._

 

Marigold frowned. Felt like something inside her shattered. She pushed the feeling away. She was good at that. Feelings like that were not allowed. She hardened her heart against all the hurt, all the pain, against anything soft and gentle and loving.

"Aurora," she said sharply. "It is rude to ignore your superior when she is talking to you."

 

Aurora turned on her heel. Her voice cold. "I'd prefer it if you referred to me as Ms Jaune, Principal Diamond." She begged for Marigold to not notice the way her hand trembled. "And a good New Year to you, too."

 

Marigold's heart stopped.

And immediately started beating again. Heat rising up to her cheeks, eyes ablaze. "I did not give you permission to speak to me in this manner, _Aurora_ ," she said, her voice full of barely contained fury. "You cannot walk in here and give me orders like you have any kind of authority here. You slacked off work for almost two weeks before Christmas and you still think you can make demands here? Oh no, oh no, Aurora. Don't forget that I am your boss."

Not for the first time, she craved alcohol. She'd had to throw out the drinks in her office herself after coming in and finding that Aurora had not, as she had asked her to, taken care of it. It had been the hardest thing she'd ever done. She had done it anyway. And regretted it most days ever since.

But she stayed strong. She had to.

 

She was met with a raised brow from Aurora.

"Forgive me for my misconduct, Principal Diamond. No offense was intended; in fact, the only thing I intend is to increase my workload until the end of this academic year."

Aurora could feel the laptop hinges creak beneath the palm of her hand, her heart nearly out of her chest. Her heart pounded, hard. "As for my request, it was less of an attack on your authority, but far more on your objectivity. I wish to be more professional. Please refer to me as such." It would be hard. Marigold had shown little care to Lars or Buck in terms of name changes, and calling her by her first name was a way of gripping onto her power. She needed to push through.

 

"That's ludicrous. I've known you since you were a child. And I will refer to you as I please. Now if you're going to be confrontational, please do it elsewhere. I have work to do." Marigold stared Aurora down, almost aggressively, but mostly cold. Impatient.

She'd woken up the morning after her decision to give up alcohol with a hangover, and as she tried to find more alcohol, there was none; instead, she found her own note.

She did not know what drunk her had thought she needed to "fix"; as far as Marigold was concerned, very little had changed.

Except Aurora had not initiated contact. Not responded to Marigold reaching out, not unless Marigold kept herself hidden. Something was clearly wrong.

But Marigold was sober, and asking about what happened, asking about anything, was out of the question.

 

Aurora had expected as such. She merely shrugged. "Okay." And turned on her heel once more. Nothing more needed to be said, right? If Marigold wouldn't respect her, such was life. The only thing she could do was attempt to walk the higher ground by referring to her boss with strict professionalism. "Have a good day, Principal."

 

"You too, Aurora." Marigold watched her leave. As she turned back to her computer screen, everything was in turmoil. It was harder to suppress than it usually was.

She closed her eyes. Wished she had wine. The physical symptoms of withdrawal had long passed, but Marigold missed her alcohol. It would be easier to drink than to be faced with the reality that she was really, really miserable. It would be easier to drink than to try and figure out why she was miserable.

But she couldn't. She just stared at her screen. She had work to do. Work.

She found it difficult to focus.

 

Aurora, meanwhile, found her way to her desk. It was only now that she registered just how much she was shaking and thanked and internally shook hands with every deity imaginable for not having to share an office with Marigold. She would have jumped at any opportunity for such accomodations before, but now... now, she dreaded seeing that face.

The clock began to tick, noise began to grow, and soon, the school was starting to fill with sleepy faces, upset at the end of vacation. Aurora kept glancing out of the window, hoping to see her sister. Anyone.

 

Marigold couldn't concentrate.

She had many things to catch up on. Reports, funding applications, staff issues. Her own personal vendetta against Quartz and her favourite student. Pearl, who had maimed Aurora's face.

Her thoughts kept drifting. If she wasn't thinking about Aurora, she was fantasising about alcohol.

People started coming in. Teachers, students. People with issues that they wanted Marigold to solve. Marigold was really not the best person to solve any kinds of issues today. She lied. She threatened. She manipulated. She made promises she knew she wouldn't keep. Anything to get anyone out of her office as soon as possible.

Eventually, she decided she'd had enough. Aurora wasn't speaking to her of her own accord. The lack of attention was acutely noticeable. And Marigold intended to get it back.

She stood and made her way to Aurora's desk.

 

Aurora had actually settled down alright. She'd spent the day catching up slack, and by the early afternoon, she'd kept her word and nearly caught up on the workload Marigold had been so upset by. "There," she smirked, saving and sending all necessary files to Marigold, so that she couldn't entirely complain about her being a bad secretary. She'd just have to deal.

Her smirk fell as she heard the familiar sound of stilettos on the floor outside. Oh.

 

Marigold did not knock before opening the door.

"Aurora," she said coldly, "we need to talk."

 

Aurora swallowed. She deliberated rejecting Marigold straight away. She decided against it. "Sure." She nodded, not looking at her.

 

Marigold took a seat. Now that she was here, she did not know where to start. She folded her fingers and gave Aurora an appraising look.

"I texted you over the holidays," she said. "You never answered me. Why is that?"

 

Aurora swallowed. "I was busy," she lied. "I felt that my work didn't need to bleed into my personal life anymore."

 

"If that's really true, you should have kept it consistent. And yet you texted me back when I texted from a new number. When you didn't know it was me." Marigold let the statement hang. Her heart and eyes like steel.

 

"You appear to miss the point, Principal Diamond." Aurora tapped her fingers on her desk. "I did indeed stop messaging you after realising it was you." _And destroyed my phone._ "Because I did not want work to affect my social life. I think we could both agree that you are a part of this workplace."

 

"You've never had problems with that before," Marigold said, her voice cold, annoyed. "And I've known you for five years. Why the sudden change of heart now?" She knew the answer. She knew it. She just wanted to hear Aurora say it.

 

"I felt it was time to turn a new leaf. Principal Diamond, your words resonate with me. And that wonderfully delivered disciplinary you gave to me at the end of term really opened my eyes. Priorities, and all that. And I've decided what mine are." Aurora looked up at those eyes she'd one stared at with only admiration. "Is that satisfactory as an explanation? I assure you, my work ethic will only grow. I've already delivered all overdue tasks - which, if I may remind you, we're overdue due to an unforeseen family emergency."

 

It was not a satisfactory answer.

"I need to be able to reach you in cases of emergency," Marigold said harshly. "And I need to know you will respond." Something had definitely changed. Shifted. Marigold was scared, but she would rather die than admit that.

 

"In case of what emergency, Principal?" Aurora asked, tone snappy. "If you're sick, use the direct school line. You set it up yourself. If you need medical attention or emergency services, well, I'm not qualified to deal with such matters. As for all else, I'm your secretary and I am here to do the job I was hired for. You hired me under my exemplary record and knowledge of the school, and here I am. No more, no less. Never again." She made sure to stare Marigold down at those last two words.

 

Cold fear shot through Marigold. She clenched her fist.

"What if something comes up?" she snapped. "You need to make yourself available to me. Refusal to do so could have some… dire consequences." Her eyes flickered to the scars on Aurora's face; they were healing well, but still very much visible. Aurora would recognise Diamond's unspoken threat to her sister.

 

Aurora swallowed. Hard. Of course she read between the lines. She pretended not to. "Principal Diamond, of all people, I would never have thought of you to be the one to still have their brain on holiday-mode. Must I repeat myself? I am here to do my job. Strip me of my bonuses if you're really this upset by my new need for professionalism. In fact, here, take it." She produced the keys to her car. "As a token of my new humility. This was an unprecedented token of favouritism and is unfair in a workplace." She slid the set of keys forward. "You'll find everything just the way it was."

 

Diamond could not believe her eyes.

"This is unacceptable," she hissed. "You can't just take away your own privileges because you are holding a grudge for some reason. I, and only I, will decide how to discipline you for your actions. That is enough of that, do you understand?" Her blood was boiling.

 

Aurora could only smirk. "Go on, then. Discipline me. Punish me. But please tell the school board your exact reasoning when I complain." The school board wouldn't listen and they both knew it. But Aurora was beyond the point of caring. If Marigold would fire her, she'd still have to go through a lengthy process. Still have to pay Aurora her month's wages. Still have to see her until she was expected to leave.

 

Marigold stood.

"Your behaviour is unacceptable, Aurora," she said coldly. "And you know that it is, don't pretend otherwise. I will think of a punishment that will hurt you. You cannot act like this. Such disrespect." Her heart was beating so loudly that she was worried Aurora might hear.

She didn't give her the opportunity to reply, but instead turned on her heel and left the room, slamming the door behind her. She was shaking. She didn't understand what had gotten into Aurora. Sweet diligent Aurora, so ready to please. Well... not anymore, it appeared.

It hurt.

 

Aurora watched Marigold go. It took so much of her to not run and plead for forgiveness. It took every last ounce of strength to not go back to the life she'd loved only a month or so ago.

But Aurora never did run. Instead, she sat and finished her last few tasks and shut off her laptop. She looked at the car keys, still on the side of her desk, picked them up and placed them in Marigold's pigeon hole on her way out. Today, she could walk. Upon the weekend, she'd go and get a new car. Right now, she needed to find Amy as school would soon come to a close.

 

Marigold reached her office and locked the door behind her. Nobody was allowed to disturb her. And potentially see her in a moment of weakness.

She sat down at her desk. Her heart was still beating fast. She closed her eyes, let out a breath. She was tense. Anxious. All her coping mechanisms had been taken from her.  
She folded her hands and did the only thing she could.

 _My father_ , she prayed. _Forgive me for my sins and hear my prayer. My most faithful assistant has turned on me. Aurora has turned on me. I don't know what to do. Please bring her back to me. Please make her come back. I can't do this without her. I need her. She needs to come back, Lord, please, I beg you._

She sighed, her head in her hands.

_Give me strength._

 

\--

 

First day of school.

Amethyst had come by herself - Aurora went to school way earlier than her, and Amy was a growing girl who needed her sleep. Meaning she only got up when school threatened to start without her.

Her shoulders slumped as she saw the school building from the distance. She'd see Pearl again. After the way their last encounter had gone... she didn't know how she would face her friend.

 

The school felt so foreign after being gone for so long.

And yet, no one but Amy seemed to have noticed Pearl had been gone at all. No one said hello at homeroom.

Pearl looked at the clock. She'd share her first lesson, physics, with Amethyst. She pleaded Ms Spearmint wouldn't come in expecting any work, considering she had literally none to show.

 

Physics. She'd see Pearl there.

Amethyst made her way there unenthusiastically. The last day of the holidays had been occupied with frantically doing homework, and she had no idea if what she'd done was any good. But now that she didn't have her mother's views to worry about, Amy was actually kind of determined to at least make a little bit of an effort.

Pearl was already there.

"Hey P! I'm so happy you got out in time for school!" She didn't let her guilt show, but instead bounced over and threw her arms around Pearl for a hug.

 

"Yeah!" Pearl smiled, actually kind of happy that Amy managed to be enthusiastic enough for both of them. "Sit here, I saved you a seat. I've got something to tell you."

She didn't know how she'd phrase it. How could she even begin to describe what had occurred at Rose's?

 

"Sounds exciting!" Amy dumped her bag next to her seat and slid into the chair next to Pearl. "Did something cool happen? I'm all ears!"

 

 

"It's... about me and someone." Pearl swallowed. Was this really the best time? How would Amy even react?

 

"Someone?" Amy echoed, her eyebrows rising so high they vanished behind her fringe. "C'mon, just tell me."

 

"When I came out of hospital, I-" It was that moment that Spearmint walked into class and the room actually fell quiet. Pearl cursed, of all possible time for people to start respecting the young teacher, did it really have to be now?

 

Amy looked _very_ unhappy when the class suddenly fell silent.

She took out a piece of paper and scribbled a note to Pearl.

_Can you write it down? Or do you wanna wait til after class?_

 

Perhaps this was easier. Pearl chewed on her pencil and scribbled down three words.

_Quartz kissed me._

 

Amethyst's eyes went huge.

She blinked. Read the three words again, just to make sure she hadn't misread.

"She... what!? Holy shit!" She had difficulty keeping her voice down. And her subtlety had apparently gone entirely out of the window, because the next moment, Miss Spearmint was calling her name.

 

"Excuse me, girls." Spearmint was probably trying to look threatening as she paced down the classroom and nearly tripped over a stiletto (it still appeared that everyone had been too kind to inform her that they were fully aware she barely breached 5’3). Before Pearl could do anything to resist, she snatched the piece of paper. "My lessons are for learning. I thought you, Pearl, of all people would know that." She safely tucked the white sheet into a breastpocket on her green blazer. "Now, kindly focus. We have a cluster of exams coming up before the end of this year and I'm not letting either of you two fail. No more notes!"

 

 

And immediately, Amethyst's surprise and excitement gave way to abject terror.

She... couldn't let Pearl and Rose be found out. This was her fault. She already saw the horror scenes - Rose fired, Pearl suspended... and she'd only just managed to salvage her friendship with Pearl.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," she muttered under her breath.

 

Pearl couldn't move. She was completely and utterly frozen. Her face opened in horror.

It appeared Spearmint had picked up on exactly none of the sudden horror between the two of her pupils, as she went straight back to teaching. It was only after a few minutes Pearl looked at Amy and gave a short, muffled scream of anguish.

 

Amy could only return that. But, she thought, at least Pearl wasn't blaming _her_.

She just really, really hoped everything would turn out okay. Maybe Spearmint would throw the note away without even looking at it. Maybe she wouldn't be able to read Pearl's handwriting... no, that was silly, Pearl's handwriting was impeccable. Maybe she would think Pearl was lying and not follow up on it. Students made shit up all the time, didn't they? It would be okay. It would be okay, it had to be.

 

Pearl didn't really talk for the rest of the lesson. Or move. Or do much more than blink and breathe. By the time the bell rang, Spearmint had delegated homework and Pearl shakily gathered herself out of her chair.

 

Amy shot up the moment the bell rang.

"Pearl, Pearl, it's gonna be okay," she said, "it's gonna be fine. Fuck, this is my fault, I'm so sorry, I should have been more patient, I'm so fucking sorry."

 

Pearl raised a hand. Turning to Amy with a smirk. "It's fine. It's not your fault. In the worst case, I'll say it was a joke and you'll play along, right?"

 

"Yeah!" Amy tried to calm her shaky breathing. "Students make up shit like this all the time, right? It's gonna be fine. But, Pearl..." She lowered her voice. "Did she really? Like, _really?_ Tell me everything!"

 

"I think it might be an idea to wait until after school." Pearl swallowed. "Doesn't sixth form have gym right now?"

 

"I'll skive it means you'll tell me what happened," Amethyst said without hesitation. "Coach won't mind, she's cool."

 

"At least let her know you're on your period or something. Coach Jasper is a good egg and I love her." Pearl poked Amethyst's side. "She was so good at getting us to actually move in time. She deserves better than people just going AWOL. Although... I kind of did that. I should probably go and say hi at some point. I've been avoiding her since the start of this academic year."

 

"Why would you do that?” Amethyst asked. “Wasn't she like, one of your main trainers when you were still a dancer? C'mon, let's go. You can say hi and I can tell her I'm skiving off and then we can go for a coffee and you can tell me all about your adventures, hm?" She nudged Pearl.

 

"Oh! Alright... It's just that..." Pearl coughed into her hand. "So... you know how I kinda said I get crushes on people?"

 

"Meh, can't blame ya. She's hot." Amethyst was fairly sure that everyone in this school who wasn't straight had a crush on Jasper. "But we can still go, right? C'mon, P."

 

"The reason I've been avoiding her is because she was there, Amy," Pearl muttered as they crossed school halls. "She saw the accident. The last time she saw me I could still dance and didn't hobble like this."

 

"Yeah, so? You're still the same person. And she probably cares about you. You should've said hi ages ago."

 

"I failed her, though. Coach Jasper is never going to forgive me. Or maybe I'm being dumb and melodramatic but yikes! It's been half a year! How am I meant to speak to her?"

 

"She's not gonna care. Better late than never. She's not the type to hold grudges forever. And you didn't exactly do anything to her, did you?" Amy put her hands into her pockets. They'd almost reached the gym.

 

"She put a lot of effort into me. A lot." Pearl swallowed. "And we were very close. I'm sure she won't appreciate the fact I've migrated completely to science without even having said goodbye."

 

"Well, all you'll have to say is sorry. It's not that hard. C'mon." Amy opened the door and held out her hand for Pearl. "Coach?" she shouted.

 

Pearl balled her fists as the familiar smell of the locker rooms hit her. Somehow, the flashbacks of a thousand hours of practise slammed straight past her mind's eye, and she was left small and trembling.

 

 

Jasper stepped outside her small office in the gym and cast a smile at Amethyst. "Good morning, Amy," she said, and only then noticed the figure hovering behind Amy.

"Pearl!" she said and hurried towards them. "How are you? I haven't seen you in months! How's the leg?"

 

Pearl suddenly turned very meek. She looked away, face ablaze. Oh, boy. The weather may have been just above freezing but Coach Jasper was determined to show off those thighs in her short shorts. And her hair. And her face. "Sorry. I've been very busy. Biology major now. My leg is... recovering. Had another accident over Christmas."

 

 

"Yeah, I heard. Are you okay? I heard you were... ill, over the holidays." That was all the information Jasper had gotten out of Rose.

She turned to Amethyst. "You ready to go, Amy?" she asked.

Amy blushed. "Oh," she said, "actually, uh. I'm, on my period? So I was just gonna tell you and run off."

Jasper gave a throaty laugh. "That's fair enough. You got painkillers? I have some in my office if you need them."

 

"No need!" Pearl gave the most awkward laugh. "I've it for her, but thanks!" She peered down, and then up. Trying not to focus on those legs. Until she noticed tiny clawed bruises sneaking up to the shorts.

 

"Okay. Hey, Pearl?" Jasper eyed her former student. "You can stop by anytime, you know that, right? I'm not teaching you anymore, but it's been weird not having you around."

 

Pearl's eyes widened at the marks, and she had to awkwardly cough to get back into conversation. "Oh, yes, sure! I must. I've just been so busy with Ro-Miss Quartz. You know how sixth form is."

 

Jasper didn't miss Pearl's almost-slip up, but she didn't comment on it.

Just like Pearl likely didn't comment on the scratches on Jasper's thighs. It was a mutually beneficial unspoken agreement.

"Sure," she said. "You go have fun now, okay? I gotta get back to teaching the others." She cast another smile at Pearl and Amethyst and then turned to get gym class started.

 

"She has a boyfriend." Pearl sighed. "All those lesbian fantasies, boom! Gone. Did you see her thighs, holy shit! She's been fucking like a bunny. Where's my Christmas sex at?"

 

"How do you know she's fucking a boy?" Amethyst said. "And anyway, you can't be too far off getting laid, huh? So tell me, girl, what happened with Quartz? Spare me no detail." She grinned up at Pearl, ignoring the small pang of jealousy. Pearl wasn't hers.

 

"I didn't want to go home after I got out. And I couldn't crash at yours." For a number of reasons. "So I grew a pair and decided to hit her up for answers. And holy shit, her boyfriend opens the door."

 

"Her. What? She has a... what?" Amethyst narrowed her eyes. "Wait. Okay, slow down. What?"

 

"So, you'll never guess who turns out being poly!" Pearl beamed. "I mean, I'm very new to all of it, but it makes sense! I don't feel... like a nasty person anymore. What if I'm a part of that? But yeah, she has another partner. He's just some guy."

 

Amethyst took a few moments to process that.

"And she... still... likes you? And he's... okay with that?" It didn't compute.

 

She softly took the sides of Amethyst's face into her hands. "Yes! She does! She kissed me and everything and it's okay! Because she is like me! She loves a few people and that's okay!"

 

Amy breathed. Looked up at Pearl. Tried not to panic.

"Okay," she said. "I... still don't understand. But okay."

 

"What's there to get?" Pearl tilted her head. "We can both love each other, and other people, and be happy!"

 

Amethyst shrugged. Avoided Pearl's eyes. Her heart was beating fast.

"I dunno," she said, "maybe it's just shitty values about... fidelity or whatever, I dunno. But if you're happy with that, then I'm happy. I guess." Except she still really, really didn't want to think about what she was feeling for Pearl. She wasn't drunk. She wasn't high. She couldn't.

 

"Oh, come on. We all knew I was a harlot. But... this isn't even about sex. It's about feelings. And that's why it feels so good to finally have an answer as to why I can't stick to one person. Anyway," Pearl carefully shuffled past corridors. "She kissed me. And it was the best thing ever. She tasted like cookies?"

 

"That's great." Amy seemed to have lost all of her excitement and enthusiasm. She didn't even understand herself where the sudden dread was coming from. All she knew was that suddenly, she could only think of kissing Pearl. And Pearl kissing Rose Quartz. Which sent a stab of jealousy and pain through her. She... she didn't know how to deal with this.

 

"But how was your Christmas?" Pearl asked. "Did you spend all of it at the new place?"

 

"Yeah, mostly." Amy shuffled along, avoiding Pearl's eyes but glad for the change of topic. "I went to see my mum for like, two hours but it was awful. Like, say what you want about Rori but she's so much nicer to live with than my parents."

 

"I'm honestly over it." A lie. "I'm glad you've got somewhere better to go. Shitty parents are awful." A truth.

 

"Yeah, true. Apparently your parents managed to piss of _all_ their children." Amy gave a short laugh. "Rori's been pissed at them since you went to hospital, and then apparently they pulled some shit on Blue as well. Serves 'em right, to be honest."

 

"Why would either of those two get rowdy? Mom loves them." Pearl quirked a brow. "And don't tell me you've gotten chummy with Blue, too."

 

"Haven't met her. Rori talks to her on the phone quite a lot, though." Amy shrugged. "Apparently you just need to know how to hit people where it matters. They said some nasty stuff about Blue's partner. And Rori's mad at them about neglecting you."

 

"Bullshit. Aurora would not care." Pearl rolled her eyes. "But let's not talk about her. Now that we've got some free time, can I use your book work to catch up on the last few weeks of term?"

 

"Sure." Amy couldn't help but feel insulted on Aurora's behalf. She'd seen Rori go through hell for Pearl in the past few weeks, and Pearl didn't even know it. Didn't appreciate it, not one bit.

She dug out her notes and handed them to Pearl. "Hope they're legible. I tried to put at least some effort into it."

 

Pearl gave a grateful smile as they found their way to the library. Despite the unease, she was glad to have Amethyst on her side. All she needed to do now was just survive another half a year.

 

 


	35. Act V - Chapter II: Tense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got fanart again! <3  
> There's two pieces - you can find them [here](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/post/155927469294/got-this-gorgeous-bit-of-fanart-from-our-very) and [here](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/post/156050450899/m-miss-quartz-you-must-be-lying-another-piece).
> 
> Content warnings for this chapter: threats, manipulation, unhealthy relationship.

 

_Claire Diment, Marigold had been told, was distantly related to her._

_It must have been very distantly, because Claire was about as white as they got, whereas Marigold’s entire family was… not._

_Nevertheless, when Marigold met Claire at a family gathering, it left a lasting impression on her. Marigold was fourteen; Claire was in her late twenties, and Marigold was inexplicably drawn to her._

_ _

_She had French roots, and would say her last name with a drawn out nasal vowel. She was far too regal-looking to just be called ‘pretty’; in truth, she was stunning, with silvery-blonde hair, fine features and eyes that looked like steel. She was confident, successful, and had an air of notoriety about her. Marigold’s parents had told her that Claire was far too successful for an unwed woman, and would need to get married to a decent man to straighten her out soon._

_ _

_When Marigold talked to Claire, Claire told her she had no intention of getting married._

_Marigold was drawn to it. Was drawn to the unapologetic independence. Was drawn to how for some reason, most of the family seemed to avoid Claire. Was drawn to how Claire treated her, the shy teenage girl, like an equal from the start._

_ _

_They remained pen pals for very long after that._

 

\--

 

Pearl had a free period last. Amy didn't. It was the first time that day she'd been left alone, and she was looking forward to spending the last period catching up on her physics. She needed to fetch the textbook from her locker, however, and found her way into the now empty corridor. Everyone else was at their lessons, after all.

 

After her talk with Aurora, Principal Diamond was wandering the corridors, a little lost, a little unsure what to do. Her conversation with Aurora kept replaying in her head. What had she done to deserve this? Aurora had always been so loyal.

She needed to find a way to punish her severely.

And she took it as a sign, a gift from God, that just in that moment she spied Aurora's sister, Pearl, at the end of the corridor.

Pearl.

Who had been in hospital over Christmas. Who had mutilated Aurora's beautiful face. Who had taken so much of Aurora's attention.

Marigold Diamond was a smart woman. Pearl had been in hospital for an eating disorder. Indeed, she looked like she'd put on quite a bit of weight. Aurora had been the one to put her in hospital. Pearl and Aurora were likely not very happy with each other right now.

Diamond could use that to her advantage.

She turned up her nose and gazed down at Pearl.

"My, my," she said. "Look who it is! Your time in hospital doesn't seem to have done you any favours." She eyed Pearl up and down none-too-subtly, gaze lingering at her slightly chubbier cheeks, her slightly larger torso. Pearl was still thin, but the difference to before Christmas was noticeable.

 

Pearl blinked, turning backwards in her usual motion. But her leg hadn't recovered enough to support her, and she stumbled back. "Principal?" The comment stung. She suddenly felt every creeping fear about her body image return.

 

Diamond watched with satisfaction as Pearl stumbled and looked up at her. Was that fear she saw? Self-consciousness? Good.

"Do you have a moment?" she asked, her tone making very clear that saying no was not an option. "I wish to discuss your academic progress with you."

 

Pearl finally steadied herself, her insides giddy. She was an exemplary student, her academic record unharmed. No detentions. The only time she'd ever seen the Principal in this attention and proximity was after being congratulated for good performance at dance shows. "I-I had plans to study right now, but I could..."

 

Diamond narrowed her eyes.

Did Pearl dare to defy her?

"Those can wait," she said sharply. "This is a matter of utmost importance. Come to my office with me."

 

Pearl swallowed and came by her, at this angle near perfectly resting her hands in the very same way Aurora would when she stood at the Principal's attention.

 

Diamond did not fail to notice that. It fanned the burning anger in her belly.

She turned and walked towards her office, taking large steps and heeding no mind to Pearl and her injured leg. She would keep up. It was her duty.

Diamond stepped into the front room. Aurora was still there. Diamond paid her no heed, but still watched carefully.

Aurora looked up as Diamond entered the room. Looked down. Then looked up again when another person entered after her.

She turned pale.

"Pearl!" she said. "What are you doing here?"

 

 

Pearl swallowed and opened her mouth. And then closed it. Giving the Principal a look and then Aurora. Her words came out more bitter than ever intended. "The Principal wants to talk to me."

 

"I have to discuss your sister's academic performance with her, Aurora," the Principal added. "It is, strictly speaking, none of your business." If Aurora wanted to keep her out, then Diamond could repay her in kind.

Aurora's heart went ice cold. This did not bode well. She wanted to do something, anything, to protect Pearl - but Pearl wouldn't let her. Not after everything that had happened. And... and she couldn't even warn her.

"Okay then." She wanted to scream.

 

Pearl was somewhat smug for a moment until she read genuine fear on Aurora's face. She'd expected her sister to be upset or angry but... she caught her own comment before she could stop it. "At least someone can tell personal boundaries."

 

Boundaries, huh? Diamond did her best to hide her smirk. Her suspicions were confirmed. She read Aurora's face easily. Pearl was similar enough to Aurora to be easy as well. This would be fun.

She put her hand on Pearl's shoulder. "Come on then, Pearl," she said, motioning to her office door.

Aurora watched them, terror in her eyes and terror in her heart. Pearl's offhand comment hit her harder than a punch in the face. "Pearl..." She stopped herself. There was absolutely nothing she could say to Pearl that would make this any better.

 

Pearl audibly gasped and flushed at the touch. It was unexpected and warm. Marigold's hands were big and pretty and manicured and she smelt of chanel. She looked around the office, the vast amounts of oak and several rosaries pasted around. She stood, wondering if she was going to have to sit for this.

 

"Sit." As if Marigold had read her thoughts. She squeezed Pearl's shoulder one last time before closing the office door firmly behind her. There was no way she would let Aurora hear what was about to happen.

She then went around her desk and sat opposite Pearl.

"Trouble with your sister?" she asked. It was more of a rhetorical question. But Pearl's answer would be interesting nonetheless.

 

The blush didn't fade as she carefully sat down. Still feeling Marigold's hold even after she had let Pearl go. "You have no idea." Maybe she could disclose to the Principal. "She gave me hell over the past year."

 

"Is that so?" Marigold folded her hands. "She always speaks very fondly of you. But if you wish, I can tell her to leave you alone. She won't like it, but I have to prioritise the needs of my students." She examined Pearl's face. She'd seen that look before. It was so very similar to the way Aurora had looked at her constantly five years ago.

It must run in the family. Disgusting. But she could probably use it to her advantage.

 

Pearl's face lit. "You could do that?" That could attend to so many of her problems with Aurora. "Oh, Principal, that would be wonderful. I appreciate having someone on my side."

 

Marigold smiled, although not for the reasons that Pearl probably thought.

Oh, this would make things so much easier for her.

She briefly thought about the fact that Pearl was nineteen - the same age Aurora had been when she'd started working for her. Marigold could see the same wide-eyed naiveté and enthusiasm in Pearl that had once enticed her about Aurora.

Dangerous. But Marigold knew better now. She could exploit Pearl's weakness without falling herself.

"Of course I can. She's my subordinate and you are my student. I am entrusted with your safety and she has to do as I say."

 

And there it was. One of the biggest things Pearl had always fallen for.

Power.

She allowed a delighted, near flirty giggle. "Oh, Principal. I am in awe, who would've known talking to you could have fixed a mountain of my home life issues?" Pearl played with one of the longer strands of hair that framed her face. "But yes, the academics. How may I help you, Principal?"

 

 

"Well, Pearl." Diamond pulled up a log of Pearl's academic performances on her screen. "You're certainly one of the more high-performing students in this school. Your grades are excellent. Though... your attendance in some classes could be better." She narrowed her eyes. "But really, I just wanted to make sure that you still feel capable of handling everything after missing several weeks of school due to your... unplanned visit to hospital."

 

Pearl lit up at the praise, and actually managed to stow away the anxieties about her absences. She knew she was a serial skiver and had accepted it several weeks into term. However, the mention of her time inside visibly ruffled a few feathers. "I think I'll be fine, I received hours of specialist support and they tried their best to prep me for going back in." And Rose. The thought of seeing Rose again on a daily basis made her heart beat. She actually wanted to be there. "But I appreciate the effort nonetheless!"

 

"Hm. If you say so. But surely you won't mind if I check in with you now and then?" Marigold watched Pearl closely. She was... even more eager to please than Aurora. Something which until recently, Marigold had barely believed possible.

"Just so I can make sure you really are receiving the support you need," she added pleasantly.

 

"Oh, absolutely." Pearl sat forward with piqued interest, glancing up at Marigold's eyes for the first time. Had they always been that colour, so glaringly yellow that she nearly struggled with tearing away? She looked to her neat diary, pulling it out. "Would there be any dates in mind you'd prefer, Principal Diamond?"

 

"Oh!" Pearl was eager, that much was clear. Diamond smiled. "Would weekly meetings be adequate? When are you free?"

 

"Weekly? But, you're the Principal! You'd really grace me with your presence on that kind of basis?" Pearl brought her hand to her face in little exagerration. But her tone suggested she wasn't being sarcastic. "I guess this time is good." It coincided with none of her time with Rose. "I just have a study period anyway, and I'm more than happy to catch up with any work I don't do at some other point."

 

"Then it's settled. You'll come here at this time every week, and I'll get Aurora off your back. A shame, really," she said softly, "she really thinks she loves you, you know? But it can't be helped."

 

Pearl stopped for a minute. Of course, Aurora must have told her. Ugh. "It's embarrassing." She frowned. "But... I guess I did mess things up before Christmas." Her face, for one.

 

Diamond held Pearl's gaze.

Oh, yes. Mess up things she did. Very much so. Diamond was not going to forget the fact that it was most likely due to Pearl that Aurora wasn't... hers anymore.

"That's no excuse for treating you like this," she said nevertheless, her voice soothing and calm.

It was the perfect setup. She could punish them both in one move.

 

Pearl could only smile at the validation. "That's true. She started asking me to do things I didn't want to. She weighed me without my consent. Even when I told her I didn't. And then she started dragging me and choked me in the car and... you know, I was planning on trying to forgive her. But I don't think I can. Not when she got so violent." Pearl decided to shut up the quiet voice inside of her head telling her she'd been equally as violent.

 

"Truly unforgiveable." It wasn't. Even Marigold knew that drastic measures were necessary when dealing with mentally ill people sometimes. And Aurora had talked to her about Pearl more than once. From the way Aurora had told it, she was the only one who ever looked after Pearl and made sure she was doing okay.

"What about your parents?" A sensitive topic. She knew, because Aurora had told her. Aurora had told her many things.

 

"Just the usual. It's like I was never gone." Pearl gave a small shrug. "To be honest, I'm okay with that. I don't want me coming back to be a big deal."

 

"Hmm." That had not worked as well as she'd hoped. Her parents' neglect was apparently not as sensitive a topic as Aurora told it. Maybe it was more sensitive for Aurora than it was for Pearl.

"You are dismissed," she said. "Unless there is anything else you wish to disclose?" Like her relationship with a certain teacher. Maybe Diamond could manipulate Pearl into giving her damning evidence against Quartz.

 

Pearl attempted a smile. So much she could tell. "I think I'll be alright. Nothing much of importance really happened."

 

"If you say so." Diamond gave her a smile, mysterious enough to be enticing, open enough to be reassuring. "My door is always open for you, Pearl."

 

Pearl got up to leave, nodding. "Thank you, Principal. I assure you I appreciate your efforts."

 

 _That's more than your sister, lately,_ Diamond thought.

"Have a good afternoon. No need to close the door." That way, she could hear any interaction between Pearl and Aurora.

She watched Pearl as she left, deep in thought already.

This could prove very, very interesting indeed.

 

Pearl left, somewhat pleased. She opened the door to find Aurora and her smile instantly dropped. Not this again.

 

Aurora looked up when the Principal's door opened and Pearl stepped out.

She was... smiling? Her smile faded when she saw Aurora. Aurora instantly felt guilty.

"Pearl," she said.

 

"It wasn't enough you had to bother me at hospital, you have to exist here, too?" Pearl quirked a brow, not even bothering to look at her sister.

 

Aurora was visibly upset. She clenched her fists.

"When will you understand that I'm just bothering you because I actually care about you!" she hissed. She didn't want Marigold to hear. She was well aware that Marigold had left the door to her office open so she could overhear, and didn't want to give her any more ammunition.

Except she'd given her plenty of ammunition in the past five years. Internally, she was screaming.

 

"Oh yeah?" Pearl sniffed. "You care. You cared about me all the way to hospital. You cared about me so much when you throttled me until I passed out. Listen, Aurora. I have someone on my side now, so you'd better step off, alright?"

 

Aurora turned deadly pale.

Marigold was listening. And somehow, she'd convinced Pearl that she was on her side.

Thoughts raced through her head at an alarming speed. She could follow Marigold's train of thought all too well. Hell, she'd slept with that woman for five years. Pearl was younger, prettier, and more obedient than Aurora, and she was the perfect means of getting back at her for leaving Marigold.

And there was nothing Aurora could do to stop this.

"Be careful, please." That was all she could muster. She kept her voice down, hoping Marigold hadn't heard.

 

"Of what?" Pearl snapped. "Of telling her too much and you losing your job? Alright. Just another way of getting you out of my hair."

 

Aurora avoided Pearl's eyes.

Pearl would never listen to her. If she could talk to Amy... but then Pearl would accuse her of manipulating her friend again.

There was no way she could win.

 

Pearl took Aurora's silence as victory and began to walk out of the office area without a goodbye. Aurora, in her mind, deserved it. All of it.

 

Marigold waited a good minute after Pearl had left, then she got up and made her way to Aurora's desk, looming over her.

"So I just had a very interesting conversation with your sister," she said calmly. Her eyes flashing dangerously. Her vicious heart delighting in what she was about to do.

 

Aurora forced herself to keep it together. "I noticed. I hope it was over professional and appropriate matters."

 

"Oh, absolutely. She is my student, after all. I would never conduct myself inappropriately with a student, unlike some." Quartz still needed her due, she remembered. "Pearl told me a few things, though. I have reason to believe you've been harassing her, and as my subordinate, I'm ordering you to leave her alone. Is that understood, Aurora?"

 

Aurora was gobsmacked. Harassment? What? Her mouth opened a little. Pearl... couldn't have... she frowned. Well. She'd have reason to, but... "Y-yes, Principal Diamond."

 

"Excellent." She cast an arrogant smile. "I've arranged weekly meetings with her to check on her progress, so don't you go violating that agreement, hm? I'll know if you do."

 

Aurora forced a fearful nod. She couldn't be scared. She couldn't. "That's unusual for you. You don't usually care for student welfare."

 

"I also don't usually have students in hospital for weeks for mental health issues. Don't you think I should be concerned? And Pearl is such a good girl. It would be a shame to have her fail her classes, don't you think?" She knew Aurora would get the message.

 

Aurora read between the lines. She was using Pearl, obviously. But she had to give Marigold credit. This plot was under a well wrapped disguise. "I see."

 

Message received. Marigold smiled smugly. "Good. Now, if you don't mind, I'll go back to work." She turned on her heel and all but slammed the door shut behind her.

 

\--

 

Peridot Spearmint wasn't having the best of days. In fact, the entire year so far (approximately two weeks of it) had been sub par. She'd given up trying to attain respect from her pupils, which was hard enough when very few of them actually cared enough about physics to pay attention.

She settled down in the staff room. At least lunch would help her cope. She always prepared it meticulously in the morning, crustless sandwiches and a stimming pot of lime green jelly.

She blinked as she pulled into her pocket and instead of immediately finding a key, found a slip of paper. Oh yes, the note she'd apprehended from Pearl. She sighed. Pearl was a good student and usually didn't misbehave at all. Such a shame to have to call her out.

She dragged her lunch to a deserted table and looked about, quickly checking her tablet only to realise she hadn't actually read the note. The thought of leaving her student her privacy crossed her mind. It hadn't been intended for her at all.

 

Lapis Lazuli came in a little bit later.

Class was draining today. Lunch would hopefully lift her spirits a little.

And indeed, the moment she came in she saw little Peridot sitting by herself, eating her lunch.

Lapis got hers out and sauntered over, a small smirk on her lips. She didn't ask before joining Peridot at her table.

She narrowed her eyes as she spotted a folded piece of paper. It wasn't like Peridot to have paper with her.

"What's that?" she asked bluntly.

 

Peridot nearly jumped out of her seat, too wrapped up in thought to realise Lapis' presence. She frowned. "Good afternoon to you, too, Lazuli." She attempted to hide the paper. "Just usual clutter." She hoped Lapis wouldn't call her out on the fact that absolutely everything she had (including homework) was electrically managed.

 

Lapis leaned back, watching Peridot closely. "Nah," she said, "I meant the piece of paper you're currently trying to hide. What is it?"

 

Peridot swallowed. She wasn't a good liar. Anything outside of the realms of sense and fact happened to often be beyond her. She tapped on the table, nervously. "Just something I confiscated from one of my sixth formers. I haven't even looked at it."

 

If Peridot was trying to get Lapis off her back, that was entirely the wrong thing to say. Her eyes lit up. "Oh, that's exciting! And you haven't even looked at it? Aren't you at least curious? Here, let me have a look." She held out her hand.

 

Peridot blushed. She wanted Lapis to stop prying, but she also didn't exactly want her to leave. It was pleasant to have a little company, even if it was pushy and annoying. "Fine." She handed it over. "It's probably something stupid, anyway."

 

"Even if it is, stupid things are funny." Lapis took the piece of paper and unfolded it.

Read the words. Her eyes widened.

"Oh, fuck."

 

 

Peridot quirked a brow, "What is it?" Nothing ever seemed to phase Lapis, not even when her shenanigans caused Peridot to break into tantrums.

 

Lapis held out her hand, showing the paper to Peridot. "It's not exactly... stupid," she said.

 

Peridot's eyes scanned the page and she adjusted her glasses as her jaw dropped. "W-whoah! She wouldn't... that's got to be a joke or something... Pearl isn't..." She swallowed. "It can't be serious. Let's just throw this away and pretend we didn't see it."

 

For a moment, Lapis considered lying. She could; Peridot wouldn't even realise. Peridot, bless her, was likely entirely unaware of the tensions between Pearl and Quartz. How close they had gotten. And the fact that this note was most likely very much serious.

But Peridot also deserved better than being lied to. "I'm pretty sure it's serious. But we don't need to do anything with this information. It's not proving anything."

 

Peridot's look of absolute puzzlement was almost akin to a child being told that Santa wasn't real. "But... serious? How could..." She then paused, a little flustered. "Shouldn't we take it up with someone?"

 

"Absolutely not." It was out of the question. "Like I said, it doesn't prove anything. And can you imagine how Diamond would react if she got a hold of this? No, we need to keep this under wraps. I'm not the greatest fan of Quartz but she doesn't deserve the kind of hell Diamond would unleash if she found out."

 

"She shouldn't be hypothetically kissing students, should she?" Peridot gave a huff. A little pang of what seemed to be almost envy in her voice.

 

"As long as they're not having sex it's not exactly illegal." Lapis shrugged. "If anyone asks, it's just a student bragging about something she made up. Which could still very well be the case."

 

"Why would someone lie about being kissed? I mean, I've never been and I wouldn't just... make things up."

 

"It's just how teenagers are," Lapis said. She fixated Peridot with dark eyes. She'd never been kissed? That was surprising. Well... maybe not too surprising. Definitely adorable, though. Lapis thought to herself that she would rather like to fix that.

 

Peridot crossed her arms. "It wasn't the way I was. I don't get the point of lying. Or... how to really do it for that matter."

 

Lapis almost smiled.

"Well, you're special, Peri," she said. Was that fondness in her voice?

 

Peridot almost flinched at that. "I need to go. I, uh, have things to plan."

 

"If you say so. Was nice hanging out with you, though, Peri." Lapis was still holding the note, now concealed in the palm of her hand. Interesting. Very interesting indeed. Maybe she should take this to Quartz.

 

Peridot completely disregarded the paper as she rushed her lunch away and stepped out into the staff bathroom. Her brain overwhelmed, flustered and loud. Everything felt like it was made of sound. Hot and claustrophobic. She turned on one of the taps and let her hands run under it. Perhaps focusing on the water would help her sensory overload. At least she was alone here. She enjoyed her seclusion, too.

 

Jasper was late to lunch - the sixth graders had just left without tidying the gym, so she'd been busy. She made her way to the staff bathroom to wash her hands. It was empty except for Peridot. "Hi, Peridot," Jasper said absent-mindedly.

 

Peridot nearly jumped as she came in. She attempted to hide the fact that she was a mess. "H-Hey there." She hoped Jasper didn't catch that tremor. They'd barely spoken at all outside of their staff meetings.

 

Jasper soaped up her hands, rubbing them vigorously. Only twenty minutes to the next class. "You seen Lapis around?" she asked Peridot. Because Lapis had Jasper's lunch, and if Jasper wasn't around, Lapis would bother Peridot. She had long stopped trying to hide the fact that she had a crush on her, much to Jasper's mild annoyance, jealousy and occasionally amusement.

 

"Yes." She swallowed. Peridot knew of Jasper and Lapis' acquaintanceship. It was the subject of her envy sometimes. She watched them from afar a lot. Gazing at their interactions from the corner of her eye. She longed for such companionship. "She's just in the staffroom. I just left." She fixed her glasses and brought her hands below the tap once more. Hoping Jasper wouldn't question it, as she clearly wasn't washing her hands.

 

Ah. So Lapis was around. Good.

Jasper looked up at Peridot to thank her and noticed immediately something was off.

"You alright?" she asked. "Did she bother you? I know she does that sometimes."

 

"Oh?" Peridot hadn't expected Jasper to jump to the right answer at once. "I just get overwhelmed easily." Well, it was the partial truth. She just hadn't reacted well to Lapis referring to her as... "It's nothing I can't cope with."

 

"If you're sure. But I can tell her off, if you want. Tell her to leave you alone?" In truth, Jasper kind of wanted a reason to do just that. She didn't like the way Lapis was treating Peridot. For a number of reasons.

 

Peridot swallowed. "That would... actually be appreciated. A lot. Thank you." She glanced up to the coach, who stood a good couple of feet taller than her. Jasper had the power to control Lapis? It would... it had the possibility to make things easier.

 

Jasper smirked. It would probably look like a smile to Peridot. "Alright. I can do that. You let me know if she gives you any more trouble, alright?" She dried her hands with the paper towels and turned to leave.

 

She nodded, feeling herself calm a little at the reassurance. "Wow, thanks!" A tiny forced smile. "I really appreciate it."

 

Jasper gave her one last look over her shoulder. Nodded gravely, then left to find Lapis and her lunch.

Who she found easily. Like Peridot had said, she was in the staff room. Jasper joined her at the table, taking the very seat Peridot had occupied a few minutes ago.

"So you've been bothering poor Spearmint again, have you?" she said.

 

"Only the usual witty banter." Lapis rolled her eyes. "And how's everyone's favourite Coach this afternoon?"

 

"Doesn't seem like it's just witty banter to her," Jasper said. "She said I should tell you to leave her alone. Do you have my lunch?"

 

Lapis frowned, but pulled out a container with pesto pasta salad and pushed it to Jasper alongside a bottle of isotonic sports drink. "Bullshit. I didn't even say anything mean today."

 

Jasper grabbed the food and took a large gulp of her drink before digging into her lunch.

"Would it kill you to leave her alone?" she asked in between bites. "She doesn't like it. I don't like it. You're just being petty and cruel."

 

"I'm just teasing her because I think she's cute and shy and if I don't, then no one ever talks to her." Lapis rolled her eyes. "Have a protein bar and calm down, it's nothing serious."

 

Jasper imitated Lapis's eye-rolling motion. "Yeah, I wouldn't expect you to understand that some people's brains work differently to yours." She checked the clock: she had fifteen minutes. The pasta salad was almost gone.

 

"Oh, please," Lapis huffed. "Not everyone is a PTSD-ridden, uptight dumbass like you. Some people can actually take a joke."

 

"Oh yeah, and it's all definitely a joke to her," Jasper said, her voice low. Dangerous. "That's why I found her hiding in the toilets and that's why she looked really relieved when I told her I'd tell you off for her. Cus it's all just a joke."

 

Lapis drew back. Alarmed by Jasper's tone and words. "Hey, now. The only thing I said was that she was special. Maybe she just enjoys spending time in bathrooms? It's just like you, except the opposite. You know. Hygienic."

 

"Not funny." Jasper sighed. "Just leave her alone, alright?"

 

"Alright." Lapis softly brought her hand to Jasper's thigh underneath the table. "I'm all yours, anyway. Happy?"

 

"Yeah." Jasper gave her a small smile. "Let's just keep it that way, okay?"

 

"Jeez, whatever. Sure." Lapis rolled her eyes, once more. Rubbing at the thigh a little. She felt her scratches still present. "Anything you want for dinner? Except me. That's always on the menu."

 

Jasper's thighs were sore, but she didn't let Lapis see that when she rubbed her scratches. Lapis was trying to bait her. Jasper wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.

"Don't care. Just whatever. I don't even know why you ask." The answer was always the same.

 

"Because I'll make sushi. And you don't like sushi. And then I'll eat all of it and get fat."

 

Jasper rolled her eyes. "Anything but sushi, then. That's an easy enough thing to do, right?"

 

"But all we have at home that needs eating is steak and you always smell bad when you eat steak."

 

"Not my problem." Jasper finished off the pasta and drank some more of her energy drink. "You always find something wrong with any food we have, so just toughen up and deal with it. I don't care."

 

"Ughh. You never care, you brute." Lapis reached for the container. "Sometimes I really wish I actually had a partner who considered my feelings."

 

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "You have feelings for me to consider? News to me." She shrugged. "And anyway, birds of a feather and all that."

 

Lapis gave an annoyed grunt. "You bitch! You only ever think about yourself. You know what? Fuck it. I'm not going home with you tonight."

 

"You do you," Jasper said. "I'm just gonna have a nice evening with Malachite, yeah? I'll keep the bed warm for you."

 

"Fuck you. I have the house keys." Lapis sniffed and turned around, heading to the kitchen area of the staffroom.

 

Jasper watched her go, then huffed under her breath and finished off her drink. It was nearly time to head off to her class.

Lapis would come around. She always did. And if that meant Jasper had to spend a night or two in the school gym, then so be it. It wasn't like she hadn't done it before.

She got up and made her way back to the gym.

 

 


	36. Act V - Chapter III: Playing Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings for this chapter: Threats, manipulation.

 

_The club was dark; clouds of smoke hung in the air. Dull music resonated through the room._

_ _

_It was all but empty. Four women were gathered around a table. Claire Diment was shuffling the cards._

_“Have you played Bridge before, Marigold?” she asked the newest addition to the club._

_ _

_Marigold, aged nineteen, shook her head._

_ _

_Claire laughed pleasantly. “That’s okay. We can show you.”_

_A bottle of wine was shared between the players. It was from Claire’s own estate, rich, smooth red wine. The cards were passed out._

_They gambled for money, small amounts, but enough to ensure they all took the game seriously. Marigold watched, and later, played herself._

_As the night went on, the club became abuzz with quiet yet delightful chatter. Almost all the people in here were women. They drank, they smoked, they laughed. The atmosphere in the club tasted of freedom._

_Marigold watched. Cast a look at Claire, who smiled at her with an atypical warmness._

_She realised that Claire was home here, more than anywhere else in the world._

_The alcohol tasted sweet. Marigold politely declined the cigarettes that were offered to her, but even the clouds of smoke around her smelled of liberation. Her heart was drumming in her ears in tune with the low music, and for the first time in many years, Marigold felt at peace._

_She came back, of course._

 

\--

 

For Rose Quartz, it was the stressful beginning of a stressful year.

But surprisingly enough, Principal Diamond had left her alone. Rose couldn't help feeling anxious every step she took, though. Her lessons didn't go too well. It was the start of term, so it didn't matter, but sooner or later, Rose knew she would have to deal with this.

It was impacting her work now, and she wasn't willing to accept that.

She was looking forward to last period, though. She would see Pearl.

 

Pearl had eagerly anticipated seeing Rose once more. They'd established a few ground rules of conduct at school- safety of their newfound feelings was of utmost importance. But following on from her meeting with Diamond, she'd begun to feel mixed about the Principal. She couldn't... be that bad, could she? Diamond had been kind and warm and touched her gently and...

She swallowed. No. She'd still have to be careful. Teachers were under codes of conduct to protect students and likely prohibited from seeking anything akin to what she and Rose shared. But she and Rose were different.

Regardless, she was there ten minutes early to her lesson. Deciding to miss a fraction of her lunch break to see her. "Rose?" Her voice was cautious as she knocked on the door.

 

Rose's heart warmed at the familiar voice. She opened the door for Pearl and smiled warmly. "Come in, come in," she said, closing the door behind her.

As soon as she was sure they weren't being watched, she pulled Pearl into a hug. Touched her hair. Oh, she wanted to hold Pearl forever. She wanted to stop being so secretive about this.

"How have you been?" she asked softly.

 

"Much better." Pearl couldn't help but shudder at the touch. Rose's new touches were so much more soft. So much more supportive. They warmed her. She pressed herself into her. "I didn't think it would be so smooth going back in but... everyone's been so kind. And you're here. I'd rather be here than home. How are you?"

 

If only, Rose thought, if only she could stop hiding.

"I'm doing okay." It wasn't technically a lie. "I'll just have to see what happens in the next few weeks. You know, with the situation with the Principal. It's... it's good to see you." She touched Pearl more, her hair, her face, her neck. Wished things were easier.

 

"The Principal's been wanting to see me." Pearl met Rose's hand with her own. She wanted to pick them up and kiss them but didn't as class would start soon. And she didn't know if Rose would want her to. "She's been nice to me."

 

 

"Oh?" Rose frowned, her fingers intertwining with Pearl's. "That's... unexpected. Be careful, okay? She might be trying to manipulate you."

 

Pearl met those dark eyes. Taking a sharp inhale. "I doubt that. She's been on my side about the whole Aurora situation. She even told her to back off on me. And it's really helped me get Rori off my back. Why would she want to manipulate me?"

 

That did... not sound good. At all.

"Has Aurora... been bothering you?" Rose asked. Treading her way cautiously. She had to be careful. Pearl needed to be protected, but would most likely not react very well to suggestions that Aurora was doing just that.

 

Pearl thought about withdrawing. But didn't. Rose's touch was too comforting. "She put me into that miserable place, Rose," she whispered. "She choked me until I passed out. She even came into my hospital room when I didn't want her there and didn't leave when I expressed I was uncomfortable with her presence." She was making herself the victim, yes, but she wasn't wrong in her mind, either.

 

Rose frowned.

"Do you... think you'd be better off if you hadn't gone to hospital?" she asked. Her voice soft. She clung on to Pearl. To her calling her 'Rose'. Didn't want to let go.

 

"She didn't have the right to take me there the way she did. I expressed my lack of consent several times. I was naked and didn't want her to see me but she didn't go away. Maybe it was right of her to help me, but... she didn't conduct herself in a non abusive manner."

 

Rose breathed a soft sigh.

"Pearl," she said, "she tried to help. And she did - look at you, you're looking way better than before. She was only trying to help."

 

"She strangled me." Pearl's eyes trailed on Rose. "Until I passed out. Can you justify doing that to anyone?"

 

Rose shrugged, a little helpless. "We all do things we regret, Pearl. You didn't... need to set Diamond on her. Who knows what she will do to her." Relations between Aurora and Diamond were already strained. Unhealthy at the very least. She thought back on her meeting with Jasper, what Jasper had suggested. This... this wasn't good. And Pearl? Pearl was clueless.

 

"Diamond has been lovely to me, though. She's set up weekly meetings to help me with my academic progress and I really enjoyed my time with her." Pearl realised she was blushing. She leaned to softly touch Rose. "I know what it's like to have a lot of people hate you and say rumours about you. Maybe... she just needs someone to talk to, too."

 

Rose was... not convinced. Not at all.

"Please just be careful, okay?" she said gently. She brushed a strand of hair back behind Pearl's ear. "I trust your judgement, but Diamond has... hurt people before. Badly. I wouldn't want that to happen to you."

 

"I'll be alright. I have you, don't I?" Pearl smiled. "Everything's gonna be just fine."

 

Rose smiled back, then leaned in and kissed Pearl briefly.

"On another note," she said, "there's a few open days of universities in the area coming up. I was thinking - since you're not exactly sure yet what you're going to do after school, maybe you should go. I..." She blushed lightly. "I could take you."

 

Pearl blinked, still shaken from the kiss. "Oh! Like an educational date?"

 

Rose chuckled. "If you want to call it that. ...Only if you want me to come, that is."

 

"I want to go if you're there. Not sure about wanting to go to uni. I mean, I'm not really good enough but... It might be nice."

 

"Of course you're good enough. You've been doing wonderfully. You're my best student, Pearl." That wasn't even an exaggeration. "The open day will be good. You'll be able to see what you could do, what would interest you. There's so many courses around that you might not even have heard of. It should be fun!"

 

"Oh! Well. If you put it that way, then, sure! Maybe we could get lunch together, too!" She gave a smile.

 

"That would be lovely," Rose said. She returned Pearl's smile. Sweet. Happy.

She wanted to kiss Pearl again, but it was too risky. The other students could come in at any moment. So she just touched Pearl's cheek gently, briefly.

 

Pearl smiled at the touch and gathered her things. "I'll go and get settled down. I did some extra notes over the holidays I'll show you later."

 

"You were doing schoolwork while you were in hospital? That's impressive, even for you." Rose smiled. "I'd love to see it later. This kind of dedication will make you go far, Pearl."

 

"Oh please," Pearl giggled, waving her hand dismissively. "I missed the last two weeks of school. I needed to catch up."

 

"And I don't doubt you did so in no time at all." Rose cast Pearl a warm smile.

A moment later, the door opened and the rest of the class flooded in.

 

Pearl cast her gaze to the students coming in. They'd never know. She spied Amy and gave a wave, getting ready for class.

 

As the class came in, the turmoil in Rose's feelings started to die down.

It was okay. It was going to be okay. They would go out together and spend time together and no matter what, it would be okay.

She started teaching with more confidence, and if she looked at Pearl a little more than usual...

Well, Rose thought, surely nobody would notice that.

 

\--

 

Aurora had walked home. She couldn't wait for the weekend- The new car couldn't come soon enough. She'd been in low spirits ever since she'd seen Pearl with Marigold. She felt suspicious. Disgusted.

Betrayed. And she didn't know who by.

Amy would be home soon. She'd picked up some food and started cooking dinner - roast chicken.

 

Amethyst got home a little later.

She honestly didn't know _how_ to feel. About anything. At least Aurora would be understanding at best. And if she wasn't, she would at least leave her alone.

"Hey Rori," she called as she came in. Her bag went on the floor and was immediately disregarded. Shoes kicked off in some corner of the hallway. Shoulders slumped as she shuffled into the living room.

 

Aurora immediately went to tidy. "Amy! How are you? Was school okay? I'm just making us dinner!" She forced herself to be chipper. If Amy was upset, she didn't need her to be sad, too.

 

 

Amy shrugged. "Was okay. Ya know. School." She dropped onto the sofa. "I wanna sleep for a week."

 

Aurora finished tidying and frowned. Something was up. "Got homework?" Exam season would be upon them in just a few months.

 

Another shrug. "Probably." Amy wished Aurora didn't fuss over her.

 

Aurora felt she was being cold. As if she didn't want to talk. Too bad. "Is something up?"

 

"Nah." Amy had no idea how to put her feelings into words. Confusion, jealousy, anger, possessiveness, worry, hurt.

Instead, Amethyst turned to Aurora.

"How 'bout you?" she asked. "How did the reunion with Principal Douchebag go?"

 

Perhaps... It would help Amy to know she was doing terribly, too. "Awful. She's got Pearl. I don't know what to do."

 

Amethyst frowned. "Yeah... she said something like that. Apparently, Diamond was nice to her? Hard to believe. Gimme the beef, gurl."

 

"She tried to assert herself. I didn't let her. So, she went after the only weak point I have. I wish I could be cruel and just... not think about Pearl. But I can't."

 

Amy fell silent.

Really, what were her own issues in comparison to Aurora's?

"She was really rude about you earlier. I wanted to tell her off but then she'd say shit about you manipulating me again. Why's she gotta be like that, Rori?"

 

Aurora swallowed. "Frankly, she's... got some right to be. We hurt each other. But... it's what happens when you're forced to take care of a child while being a mentally ill child yourself."

 

Amy grumbled. "She shouldn't be blaming you for that, though. I mean, c'mon, she's a smart person. She's smarter than me and I don't understand why I can figure this out and she can't."

 

"Have you ever hated something completely irrationally? Or like, had completely irrational feelings about something? Like, you should be happy about something but you're just... not?"

 

Amethyst stared at Aurora blankly.

_You mean, like my best friend kissing the love of her life and me being a jealous ass about it?_

"Nah," she said. "That's not like me at all."

 

Aurora frowned. Maybe she couldn’t relate. "Well. A lot of Pearlie's feelings are fabricated and irrational. It doesn't make her a bad person. Just ill. And I can't help her because they're directed at me."

 

"Well, how do I change her mind, then?" Amethyst huffed, frustrated. "You're my friend, and you're doing so much for her and she's constantly talking shit about you. It hurts. I don't want her to."

 

"You let her grow up. It's been years and she's still on the warpath to convince everyone I'm abusive." Aurora looked away. "And maybe I am."

 

This again. Amy rolled her eyes. "Listen, Rori. My parents? Abusive. Your parents? Abusive. Diamond? Abusive as fuck. You? One of the least abusive people I've ever met. Chill, you're doing your best. I just wish Pearl would appreciate that more."

 

Aurora didn't look back at Amy. "She has all right to distance herself after what I did."

 

"If you wanna see it that way." There was probably no way of talking Rori out of this. As long as her and Pearl were both convinced Aurora was bad for Pearl, there was nothing Amy could do.

"You need help with dinner?" she asked instead.

 

"If you're okay with making potatoes." Aurora sighed. "But you seem tired. I can handle it."

 

"Nah, I'm fine." Amy was far from fine, but that hardly mattered. She got up and joined Aurora in the kitchen.

 

Aurora showed her the tray of potatoes. "Just season them after a quick clean and throw them in the oven. Everything will be ready in half an hour."

 

Amethyst did as she was instructed. Five minutes later, the potatoes were in the oven and Amethyst was out of a job.

"Ya want hugs?" she offered Aurora.

 

Aurora gave a diligent nod. "Please. Oh yes. We're getting a new car this weekend. I gave the SUV keys back to the Principal. "

 

Amethyst paused. Gaped. "You did _what_? You... you gave away your car? What the heck, Rori!" She was torn between laughing and yelling. In truth, she took public transport to and from school, so it wasn't that big of a deal. "I'm... proud of you?" she offered. She'd been known to throw expensive presents back in her parents' faces. It took a lot, she knew that.

 

"She didn't accept it, so I just put the keys in her pigeon hole. It'll piss her off, that's for sure." Aurora gave a genuine smile. "Gotta be a bitch. But we are going to pick something I can drive us both to school in."

 

Amethyst chuckled. "Let me guess, it's gonna be yellow?" Whatever Aurora picked, it would be better than what Marigold had given her.

 

"Are you kidding? No! I can't stand it anymore. Well. I love it but... it was _our_ colour. I couldn't. I should... change."

 

"But yellow is... you." It always had been - hadn't it? Even before Marigold? Amy sighed softly. "Hmm. Well, do whatever you need to do. I'll be happy with whatever you decide."

 

"It's a big middle finger to her you can ride in every morning. Won't that be nice?"

 

"Heh. I like that idea." Amy came in and hugged Aurora tight.

 

The food nearly overcooked as the two were too busy hugging their feelings out. Amy's touch was something Aurora couldn't believe she was fortunate enough to recieve. A polar opposite of Marigold's threatening grip - warm and comforting and kind. She pecked Amy's cheek in affection and went to serve the plates. "Has Pearl been settling in alright, though?"

 

"I... I think so." Amy got the cutlery and set the table. "She was okay today. We saw Coach Jasper and she seemed to enjoy that. She's got a crush on her, I think. She..." She fell silent. She shouldn't, really shouldn't tell Aurora about the fact that Pearl had kissed Rose Quartz. Pearl would never forgive her.

 

"Oh? And here I was thinking she has her eyes set on Quartz." Aurora tittered, pouring golden gravy over the potatoes. Slicing into the chicken. "Good to know you two girls are getting on. Heaven knows, she'll be needing your support."

 

"She still likes Quartz. She has crushes on like five different people. I dunno." It was kind of a sore subject. Amy dug into her food, shovelling it into her mouth so she'd have an excuse not to answer Aurora's questions.

 

Aurora, however, had other intentions. "You said you crushed on her when you were high. I guess her having feelings for others must be kind of upsetting, huh?"

 

Amethyst's eyes widened.

She quickly shovelled more food into her mouth, made a sound, choked. It took all of her determination not to spit food all over the table. She was blushing hard. This had been a bad idea. All of this.

 

Aurora looked at the display with worry and confusion. "...Amethyst? Are you... alright?"

 

Amy got her breathing back under control with difficulty. Swallowed her food and coughed her heart out.

She still didn't answer the question. In response to Aurora's worried question she just waved her hand. "Fine, fine."

Maybe she'd managed to distract Aurora from the topic at hand. She _really_ didn't want to talk about it.

 

Aurora gave a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness. I was worried I'd killed you. But yes, are you feeling alright about Pearl? I mean, you two have kissed and... gotten close. I sure hope it won't strain your relationship."

 

Shit. Distraction tactic failed. Amethyst coughed once more. Avoided Aurora's eyes.

When she was sure that she really, really couldn't keep it up any longer without it getting weird, she finally looked up.

"Yeah, no! I'm fine. It's all good." She grinned. Her heart sank. She didn't want to think about it.

 

She took the smile and nodded. "That's good. If anyone was making moves on Marigold... well, they'd be dead by now. Jesus, I'm so possessive. I don't even like her!"

 

"Nah, that's totally understandable. But yeah. No. I'm totally cool. She can do whatever she wants, I don't care." Amy was probably overemphasising her point a little. She had another bite of her food.

 

"You kids and your ability to have healthy relationships." Aurora rolled her eyes. "I take it that you're not planning on going to any open days for uni this term. Are you at least gonna go to the career's fair? Blue's gonna attend."

 

Hah, yeah. Healthy. Amy chuckled. "I dunno," she said. "Sure? I wasn't planning to, but Blue sounds like an experience." And, almost like an afterthought, she added, "Pearl's not gonna be happy about that, though."

 

"Oh, please. Blue is there every year - her company has a history with coming to our school. Pearl will have to just deal with it."

 

"Oh, okay. Well, in that case. She's still not gonna be happy, though. She hates Blue. Even more than she hates you." Amethyst sighed.

 

"Blue is... a character. Sometimes even our relationship gets a little strained, but you need to learn to bite her back, you know."

 

"Maybe Blue shouldn't bite in the first place," Amy said. "It wouldn't cost her an arm and a leg to be nice to her mentally ill sister, would it?"

 

"She's ill herself, too." Aurora swallowed. Looking away. "Very mentally ill. There's a reason she does the things she does, Amy. And yes, she's hurt Pearl, but... our family is just like that. We're all ill and hurt each other."

 

"Hmm." Amy shrugged. "That doesn't excuse anything, though. Like... Pearl's mental illness doesn't excuse her hurting people. My dad's mentally ill but he's still an abusive twat. You know? You just gotta do your best not to hurt people."

 

"She honestly doesn't know any better. Blue struggles to... actually feel things, you know." Aurora tried to skirt away from the diagnosis. She couldn't let Amy know. The word carried too much weight. "It's a personality disorder, much like with Pearl."

 

Amy shrugged yet again. "Doesn't matter what it is, she should still try not to hurt people. And Pearl's more scared of her than anything. I dunno."

 

"I could chat to her about it." Aurora swallowed. "It's tricky, trying to call her out. She really doesn't like it."

 

"That's her problem. ... But also kind of yours. I get where you're coming from. I dunno." She seemed to be saying 'I dunno' quite a lot lately. Amy sighed. "I should probably go sleep soon."

 

"I guess you should nap. Have you been sleeping well? School can be stressful." Aurora’s eyes flicked to the clock on the wall. Seven pm.

 

"Eh. I just like sleeping." And using sleep as an excuse to avoid situations she didn't particularly want to be in. Amy had been doing that for years.

 

"Alright. Do you want me to set you an alarm?" Aurora smiled. "I could wake you up and we could have breakfast together."

 

"No, no. No way I'm getting up any earlier than I absolutely need to." Amy grimaced. "Who needs breakfast, am I right? And you're... gonna be taking the bus? Or?" The way to school would be awkward for Aurora. Without a car.

 

"Walking. I walked home today." She shrugged. "Need to trim the holiday fat somehow."

 

"Pshh. You don't have any holiday fat." Amy looked at Aurora, well aware that Aurora was definitely not the larger of the two. "You're gonna make me feel bad about never moving."

 

She frowned. A bad comment. Poor taste, in terms of all that had happened. "Exercise is never a bad thing." Felt like the most easy save.

 

"No one's ever died from laziness. Plenty people die in sports accidents all the time. I think I know which one I'll do, thanks." Amy grinned at Aurora. Letting her know that it was forgiven.

 

"...You know, that is an excellent point." Aurora winked. "I'll let you sleep. I'll wake you up if anything good comes on TV, though."

 

"Sure, that sounds good." Amy just hoped Aurora wouldn't press the Pearl issue more. She didn't want to think about it. At all. Ever.

 

"Alrighty. Have a good nap!"

 

"Thanks!" Amethyst closed the door behind her and flopped down on her bed.

It wasn't even that late, but boy, she was ready to sleep for a week.

 

\--

 

It was nearly the end of the first week back, and Marigold had come close to alcohol approximately seventy three times (she'd counted each as a personal victory). The dry spell had left room for her fury and disgust to grow, and she'd set sights on one particular teacher.

Rose.

She didn't bother knocking anymore. The school day was over. Rose was still in the biology department. Good.

"Afternoon, Quartz."

 

 

 

Rose was startled when Diamond came in unannounced and without warning.

"Principal Diamond!" she said. What did she want? Rose's heart was already beating faster. Anxiety drumming in her ears. Pearl. This was about Pearl, it had to be. Oh God, she'd been so careful, but what if someone had seen them anyway? Rose had kissed Pearl. Kissed her. Touched her. Unambiguously. Oh God.

 

Oh, Diamond adored that fright. That terror on Rose's face and the anxiety in her voice. She smirked. "I just came in to congratulate you. Since you're such a diligent worker, we've decided to put you forward to direct the careers fair. I trust you have nothing going on in that week?" Her tone suggested Rose couldn't refuse.

 

"O-oh!" That... was a surprise. To say the least. Rose allowed herself to relax just a tiny little bit. "Sure, Principal Diamond. It'll be my pleasure." So Diamond hadn't heard anything about her and Pearl. Good. Good. She would have to be more careful. She had to keep it that way.

 

"I trust you haven't been up to anything inappropriate, Quartz."

 

"No," Rose said, probably a little too fast. "Not at all, Principal. I'm... just doing my job. Keeping my distance. There's nothing going on." She'd kissed Pearl. Kissed her. Multiple times. She wanted to kiss her again. She was taking her on a date. Well, a day out. But it was as close to a date as they were going to get.

 

"Good. The new year is a gift, my dear." Diamond loomed over her subordinate. "A good time to wash away any dirt that's clung to you. I trust you'll use this opportunity to become a person of less sin to teach my girls how to be clean themselves. I was hoping to go through your curriculum at some point soon in order to ensure it's... appropriate for this establishment."

 

Wash away dirt? Rose felt mildly disgusted. That Diamond would think of her affection for Pearl that way... that she would judge her like that for something she could not help.

The jab at her curriculum sent another stab of fear through Rose. Diamond's religious beliefs were no secret. Rose taught many things not in accordance with religious scriptures.

She reminded herself that technically, she had nothing to fear. This was a secular school. She taught science.

"Of course, Principal."

 

"Delightful." An unreadable look. Diamond's poker face was perhaps her most terrifying look of all. "I trust you're also ensuring that your little sixth form prodigee is settling well after her little detour. It would be a shame if she failed again. You know we don't take students who fail for three years."

 

So, now it was about Pearl.

But Rose could feel her confidence returning to her. She looked directly at Diamond.

"Pearl is doing excellently. Your concern is appreciated. But she tells me you've been taking an interest in her yourself. It's unusual for you to take an interest in individual students."

 

Diamond gave a warning frown. Like a growl of a predatory animal before striking. "Yes. I have. I feel I've needed to keep an eye on her and steer her in the right direction, as some members of staff clearly haven't." Her face then turned into a smug look. "But that's alright. I have a plan and she's already starting to bend a little to my vision. I'll make a moral young woman of her, yet."

 

Diamond's words sent icy chills down Rose's spine.

"Pearl was doing just fine before," she said. "I have no idea how you would get the impression that she's... immoral."

 

"Her sister let me know of her little sins. And let me tell you, I'll fall before I let someone as bright as her be dragged down by such disgusting pleasures." Diamond had regained the upper hand. Rose was scared. Good. She should be. "She was given a path, and I was sent to be her Shepherd. I will guide her."

 

"She was doing fine before," Rose repeated. Ugh, she needed backup on this. Diamond had Pearl, and there was nothing Rose could do on her own. "Pearl is a model student. There is no need for more guidance than she already has. She's an adult, and a very capable one."

 

"It's that attitude that landed her in hospital. If I'd known, I'd have saved her sooner." Diamond had this card. And she knew it would dig deep. "You tried, Quartz. But you failed. And I'm here to mold her young mind. And you'll get to see her transform, right before your very eyes."

 

_I can make her happy. I can make her eat. The only reason why I didn't intervene sooner was because I wanted to trust her._

In all honesty - Rose knew Pearl. And Pearl was smart. Smarter than to be brainwashed by Diamond.

But she was still prone to wander into this trap.

Rose made a mental note to talk to Pearl about this - yet again - when they went on their day out together.

"Do as you wish, Principal."

 

"Oh. I don't need your permission. But in case you think she's yours because of her interest in your field, allow me to correct you." Diamond tapped her nails on her desk. "She isn't. She never will be. And there's always another tutor she can see if things get inappropriate. See to it they do not."

 

"They won't, Principal."

This battle was lost, and Rose knew better than to keep fighting. She needed to preserve her strength and apply it where it could actually make a difference.

Pearl. She needed to talk to Pearl. Desperately. Needed to warn her. Shield her from Diamond. Talking to Aurora would be good, too. Maybe Amethyst. Jasper had offered support. Rose could do this. Not alone, but she could do this.

 

"That'll be all." Diamond smirked once more, offering Rose a small pat. Just because she could. "Goodness, your hair is outrageous. Did I ever tell you to redye it?"

 

"No." Rose's voice and glare were cold as ice. Diamond likely knew she was overstepping boundaries. Any further and Rose had good grounds to report her for harassment.

"Have a good evening, Principal."

 

"Hm." A venomous smile. "Don't get up to too much trouble. I'll see you around, Quartz. Oh - will email you about the fair."

 

"Okay. Goodbye, Principal." _Get out of my classroom._ Rose could feel herself shaking. She would likely break down the moment Diamond was out the door.

 

And with that, Marigold gleefully strolled out of the classroom, incredibly pleased with herself.

 

 


	37. Act V - Chapter IV: In Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings for threats and emotional abuse.

 

 

Lapis had waited a few days. Laid low. Avoided Peridot where Jasper could see.

Waited.

And then, one day, Jasper wasn't around. Lapis wasn't quite sure why - she probably just had to clean up something in the gym again. Either way, at lunch, she was free.

So she sauntered up to Peridot yet again.

"So I hear you told Jasper to get me to back off," she said without preamble.

 

Peridot flinched visibly. The voice was completely unexpected. She turned on her heel to face Lazuli, nearly dropping the pile of excercise books in her arms in the process. "Lazuli! Oh. Oh... Um. I can explain."

 

 

"Oh?" This should be good. Lapis looked down on Peridot, her face torn between cold calculation and slight amusement. "I'm listening."

 

"She..." Peridot swallowed. "Must have misunderstood. I get sensory overload. A lot. And I must've mentioned speaking to you just added to it a little. And so! She... must've... told you to back off. Yes!"

 

"Hmm." That was not what Jasper had said. And Jasper had been quite specific. "Am I really that bad? You know I'm just teasing, right?"

 

There was clearly no point to lying. Peridot's reply was quick and frank. "Yes. You are that bad. I enjoy the attention, but your comments hurt me and it's annoying. You're annoying."

 

"I mean, sure, if you'd rather be by yourself all the time," Lapis said, a little taken aback. She'd been thinking about asking Peridot to join her for lunch; she was reconsidering that now. If she was indeed that 'annoying'.

 

"No. I don't want that." Peridot’s voice suddenly turned quiet.

 

There it was. Lapis's smirk returned. "Yeah, I didn't think so. You wanna have lunch together? We could chat, and I'll try to be nice."

 

Peridot blinked. "Why, yes! That would be enjoyable. You're alright when you're nice to me."

 

"Wow, thanks!" Lapis said in her best Peridot-impression. And immediately grimaced. "Sorry. I'm not very good at this. Do you have lunch with you?" A silly question. Peridot always had her lunch with her. "We could find a table somewhere."

 

Peridot didn't seem upset. Quite the contrary. "Hey!" She beamed. "That's my thing. Hmm. I've got some in the staff fridge."

 

"Sounds good. I'll get mine too." Lapis was glad that Peridot didn't seem to be upset. Maybe this could work. She would just need to find a way of teasing her that didn't alienate her. Because god, that was the last thing Lapis wanted to do, despite her promise to Jasper.

 

Peridot gathered her food from the fridge. Another sandwich and dessert jelly. The very same colour as before. "I sure am hungry."

 

Lapis got her food out as well and looked around. There was an empty table nearby. She didn't wait for Peridot's opinion before walking over and sitting down. "You sure like jelly, don't you?" she asked, turning around to face Peridot.

 

Peridot blinked. "It's stimulating and low calorie. What else does a person need?"

 

"Nutrients, maybe?" Lapis offered. She pointed at her own lunch: couscous salad. Easy and quick to make.

 

"I can't cook. And I struggle to eat some things if they're a certain color." Peridot shrugged. "Jelly is safe."

 

"You can't cook? Oh boy. And I thought Jasper was bad." Lapis chuckled. "She can, she just doesn't. But hey, you can learn, right? I could show you the basics, if you want."

 

"There's not many utensils in the staffroom. Or... much of anything for that matter. They really didn't focus on spending any budget here, did they?"

 

"Oh, I wasn't talking about here. God knows I don't want to spend any more of my time here than I already do. No, you should come visit me. The kitchen is alright most of the time. You could meet my iguana! She's a little shit. I love her." Lapis smiled.

 

"You're inviting me... to your house?" Peridot looked genuinely surprised. "And you own an IGUANA?"

 

"Yes! And yes. Her name's Malachite. She's bright green. Well, kind of turquoise. But you'll like her, if you go by colours." Thinking of Malachite brought a warm smile to Lapis's face. Truly, she could never love any human the way she loved her little lizard.

 

"I would enjoy visiting your abode. Whereabouts do you reside?" Peridot looked at Lapis with piqued interest, digging into the jelly.

 

"The city centre. Rent's ridiculous, but at least everything's accessible. You could come over this evening, if you want?" Lapis had some of her couscous. A little dry. She'd have to change her recipe a little.

 

Peridot smiled. "I'll have to let my mother know, but sure! That's not very far from here at all."

 

"You still live with your parents? Really, Peri, you're precious." Peridot couldn't be that much younger than Lapis - five, six years at most. It was surprising.

 

"I just never moved out. Though... I'd like to. I don't think it's doing anything much for me." Peridot swallowed. "But my students and their work keep me fairly busy."

 

"Yeah, they tend to do that." Lapis shrugged. "But yeah, you should come over after work. It'll be fun!" Jasper wouldn't like it. But Jasper would just have to deal.

 

"Do you have a car?" Peridot tilted her head. "Or do you walk it?"

 

"We walk. You okay with that?" It wasn't too far. Twenty minutes if you walked briskly. "Jasper likes to run it sometimes as well."

 

"You live with her?"

 

"Yeah. It's easier." And more difficult. Living together was both the best and worst decision they had ever made.

 

"Oh. Are you...two...?"

 

"...yes?" Lapis frowned. "I thought that was obvious. I thought everyone knew."

 

"Oh." Peridot blushed a bright colour. "I don't clock into things very much. Congrats on that."

 

"That's alright." Lapis shrugged. "It means you'll probably run into her when you come over. Hope you're okay with that. I can't really throw her out." Well, she could, but... it would already be the second time this week.

 

"I like her a lot too. I don't mind." Peridot smiled. "I don't really speak to her much, that's all."

 

"Huh." For all Lapis knew, Jasper hated Peridot. A shame. "That'll be okay, then. Hey, maybe you'll get to talk to her more!" She doubted it. Jasper would be pissed.

 

"That would be... nice." Peridot finished her food. "I hope me coming over isn't going to interrupt anything. Please feel free to do what you usually do."

 

Lapis almost laughed. "Oh, no, really, I don't think you'd be keen on witnessing that," she said. And honestly, she wasn't even referring to the sex. Well, not just that. Her and Jasper's interactions were always... volatile.

On second thoughts, maybe it was a bad idea to invite Peridot. But she couldn't un-invite her now.

 

Peridot only shrugged. "I don't get to watch people often outside of television. It would be nice to see a real life relationship." She then paused and smacked herself. "Wow, that was so weird. I'm so sorry. Fuck."

 

Lapis raised her eyebrows.

Interesting.

"No, no, it's okay. I understand. Although Jasper and I don't exactly have what one would call a ... normal relationship." Or a healthy relationship. Or the kind of relationship that anyone should model anything by.

It was only too bad that they literally couldn't live without each other.

 

Peridot tilted her head. "What kind of relationship is it, then?"

 

Lapis shrugged.

"I guess you'll just have to find out by observing us," she said.

 

Peridot actually looked excited. She tapped her hands on the desk. "I can't wait to see you two in action! Tonight, then. Where do you want to meet? When?"

 

This was probably a huge mistake.

"We could just walk there after school," Lapis said nevertheless. "If that's okay? Or do you want to go home before?"

 

"I'll just have to let my mother know by text. I can do that now." Peridot smiled, finding her phone and tapping away at it. A few seconds later, it buzzed to life and she beamed. "Wow. She's happy I'm actually seeing someone else. It's been a while."

 

Lapis returned Peridot's smile. "Then it's sorted! I'll meet you back here after classes, alright?" She was so cute. And everything Lapis learned about her just made her more cute.

 

"Sure!" There was a smile present on her face she had never really worn to school. She may as well have been bouncing up and down in her chair. "Lunch is nearly over but... um. Here. This is my number. If you don't find me."

 

 _Smooth_ , Lapis thought. "Thanks! I'll give you a text so you have mine as well," she said. Peridot looked so happy. Her smile already made this worth it. "I'll see you later, then!"

 

Peridot gathered her things and gave a tiny wave. "I'll see you!"

 

After the final lesson, Lapis found herself back at the staffroom, uncharacteristically excited. It wasn't every day that she got to take someone home who wasn't Jasper. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time it had happened.

So she was practically bouncing by the time she got there.

 

Peridot was waiting in the courtyard. Waving to some of the younger kids who came over to say hi. Typically she went straight home - it felt oddly welcoming to be acknowledged. She spotted Lapis as she appeared. "Lazuli! Hey, hey, Lazuli!"

 

 

There she was. Lapis smiled.

"You know you can just call me Lapis, right?" she asked. "You got everything?"

 

"Yeah! Unless... you wanted me to bring something extra. Oh God. Is that a common practise? Bringing extra things?"

 

"Nah, there's no need. Just bring yourself, that should be enough. You ready?"

 

"Most certainly." She smiled. They set off. Peridot felt oddly energised by the whole thing. "Is the Coach coming home soon too? I'm still so shocked you live with her."

 

"She'll get there when she gets there. She might even already be home. I'm not sure if she had class this period." If Jasper was indeed home already, this would be interesting.

 

"I see." Peridot smiled. "Is this a usual thing? Inviting people you relentlessly tease over for dinner?"

 

"Not at all. It's usually just Jasper and me." That was a good thing. Lapis wouldn't want to subject anyone to Jasper or her over long periods of time. Maybe this was a bad idea.

 

"Oh! This should be interesting, then."

 

"Oh, definitely." Lapis half-smiled.

They were at her flat a few minutes later. Lapis unlocked the front door. "Malachite might be out," she said before opening it. "Be careful she doesn't run outside, she does that."

 

"Oh! I'm very excited to meet her!" Peridot beamed. Her eyes trailed over the area, looking about the new place as if it were to become her new own. "It must be so cool to move out."

 

"It's miles better," Lapis agreed. "I moved out when I went to Uni and never went back. It's just so much more freedom." She opened the door cautiously. No tiny feet scuttling over the floor. She slipped inside: Malachite was in her tank. "All clear. You can come in!" she said, opening the door wider for Peridot.

 

Peridot paced in and briskly removed her shoes. Observing Lapis to check if she'd approve. However, the second she saw the tank, she skipped to it. "Wow! She's so big! Hey there!"

 

However, the lizard wasn't the only one occupying the living room.

Jasper was there. She looked up.

"...what the fuck?" she said. "Lapis?"

"Oh! Hi, Jasper. I invited Peri over. You don't mind, do you?" Lapis smiled at her partner sweetly and didn't give her time to answer before turning back to Peridot. "You wanna say hi? I'll take her out!" she said, opening Malachite's tank.

 

Peridot did not catch onto Jasper's immediate discomfort - nor any underlying tensions. "Hi, Jasper!" She gave a tiny wave and went to join Lapis. "Wow, can you hold iguanas?"

 

"You can!" Lapis reached in and curled her hand around Malachite's body. Lifted the lizard out and cuddled her in her arms. Only for a moment, though. She smiled at Peridot. "You can touch her," she said. "She doesn't bite. Usually."

Jasper was watching them from the sofa, a frown deep on her forehead.

 

Peridot seemed completely entranced by the idea of the animal. She softly patted Malachite's head and let her fingers trail over her. "She feels so cool! And her colour! I like that colour!"

 

"She's a little shit," Jasper said from the sofa.

Lapis scowled at her. "Don't insult my baby." Only she was allowed to do that. She ran her fingers over Malachite's scales and smiled lovingly. "Do you want to hold her?" she asked Peridot.

 

"Will she try and run away, because I think I'd drop her... Oh! I can sit down! And then we will both be safe." Unfortunately, Peridot decided at that moment to sit on the spot Jasper had claimed as hers approximately four months ago (it had the nicest cushions). She eagerly patted at her lap. "I'm good to hold her now!"

 

"Good idea!" That was Jasper's spot. Lapis was sure that wasn't going to go unnoticed. And sure enough, Jasper looked up and _glared_ at Peridot. If looks could kill...

Lapis pointedly ignored Jasper. "Here," she said, setting Malachite down gently into Peridot's lap. "She's usually okay, but she likes running around."

 

Peridot made a squealing noise. "Oh my stars! I can feel her little feet. I love her already. Can I move in and stay with her forever?"

 

"No." Jasper's voice was cold. "Absolutely not."

"Ignore her," Lapis said lightly. "She's just jealous. I mean, you can't exactly move in, this flat is far too small, but you can visit whenever you want!"

"Lapis," Jasper said.

Lapis ignored her.

 

 

It was at this point that Peridot clocked in on Jasper's coldness. She looked up with a frown, but upon being told to ignore it, only shrugged. "I'm sure glad you've at least invited me over. I might take you up on that. I'm quite enjoying this guest business. Oh! You could come to mine, too. I have a lot of games and DVDs!"

 

"That would be... interesting!" Lapis said. "I'm not much of a gamer, but I'm sure it'll be fun nonetheless."

Jasper shifted. Lapis was acutely aware of this, even if she was giving off the impression that she was ignoring Jasper.

"Lapis," Jasper said again. Was that a hint of desperation in her voice? Jealousy? Even anger?

"What is it, Jasper?" Lapis snapped. Finally turning around to her.

"Can I talk to you?" Jasper said.

"Now?" Lapis raised her eyebrows. "I have a guest, in case you haven't noticed. You're being rude. You haven't even said hello to her."

 

Peridot could hear them, considering they were in the same room. She hid her frown and attempted to distract herself with Malachite. "You're the best iguana I've ever met. The only one, but the best!"

 

Jasper scowled at Peridot.

"Hello," she growled.

"Ignore her," Lapis told Peridot yet again. She was starting to get pissed off. Jasper would pay for this later. "Actually - we could go through to the other room." ...Or maybe that was a bad idea. Lapis and Jasper tended to leave their toys lying around. Nobody else ever came to visit.

 

"Oh!" Peridot beamed. "I'd love to see more of your place!" She allowed Malachite to scamper off her lap. "She's allowed to just roam, right?"

 

"Oh, yeah, she's more than used to it." Lapis smiled at the iguana fondly, following her with her eyes.

She then turned to Peridot and said, "I'm just gonna go and check if the bedroom's in any shape to have visitors in it. Give me a few seconds!"

A moment later, Peridot was alone with Jasper.

Jasper glared openly.

 

Peridot didn't seem to pay attention to the glare, however. "I wonder if she's making the bed. I probably should've told her not to bother. I never do mine!"

 

Jasper didn't respond. She just continued glaring.

Though honestly, she was starting to respect Peridot. Not many people could withstand this glare for very long.

 

Peridot frowned. People usually responded to that kind of commentary.

"Is... something up?"

 

The glare intensified for a moment.

"Why would you think that," Jasper said, still glaring.

She hadn't moved from her seat since Lapis and Peridot had come in. She wasn't doing anything.

Just glaring.

 

"You seem a little quiet." Peridot shrugged. "Everything okay?"

 

... Quiet?

So not only was Peridot strong enough to withstand Jasper's glare, but the only reaction Jasper could illicit from her was... worry?

She didn't know whether to be impressed, annoyed or touched.

"I'm fine."

She wasn't glaring anymore.

 

"You helped me before! Lapis and I kind of talked it out. And I owe you one for that - I think I really like her now! So... thanks. But I'm here if you need to talk about anything."

 

"You... talked it out, huh?" Jasper raised an eyebrow. She wondered what kind of manipulation tactics Lapis had employed to reel this innocent one in.

And Peridot was definitely innocent.

"Thanks, but. I'm fine," Jasper repeated.

 

Peridot got up. "Hey, uh, where's the... Bathroom?"

 

"First door on the right if you go into the hallway," Jasper said. She probably should have gotten up and showed Peridot, but she didn't move.

 

"Oh, thanks!" Peridot nodded. "I'll be right back!"

 

Lapis passed by Peridot on the way back. She watched the toilet door close and sighed. Finally. She could have a moment to talk sense to Jasper. She paced into the living room. "Okay. What gives?"

 

Jasper raised her eyebrows.

"You're manipulating her," she said.

 

"Believe it or not, I'm really trying to have a healthy friendship with her!" Lapis snapped. "Forgive me for wanting something in my life that's not fucked up or weird."

 

Jasper's eyebrows stayed up. Nearly vanishing in that mane.

"Sounds fake," she said. "But okay. I mean, it's not like I asked you to stay away from her and you agreed."

 

"I wanted to see what she told you and where our problem was. We're colleagues. I agreed to play nice."

 

"So once again, like _always_ , you decided to prioritise your feelings over mine. How am I still surprised at this shit?" Jasper clenched her jaw. "I honestly don't know why I stay."

 

"You're welcome to leave if me being friends with a colleague is that much of trauma. Does it _trigger_ you, Jasper?" She waved her hands about, her voice dropping a few octaves to impersonate Jasper. "Oh no! L-lapis... being happy... no! I can't see that!"

 

"That's not funny," Jasper snapped. Her skin itched. Lapis was far too good at winding her up. "Don't forget that I'm stronger than you." It was a threat. Lapis knew it.

 

Lapis took a step back. A flash of fear in her eyes. "What are you even so upset about? You're making it out that something is wrong, but I just brought a friend over."

 

Jasper got up. "We _agreed_ ," she said coldly. "I know you like her. I don't care what you _say_ your reasons are for this, but you're manipulating her, you're using her to make me jealous, and you're being a selfish, toxic -"

She stopped. The bathroom door was being opened.

 

Peridot stepped back into the room. "Hey- diddly-ho, folks! I'm back!" She then paused as she found the two in the compromising position. Neither appeared to be very happy. "Should I... go back into the bathroom... or?"

 

 

Lapis was breathing heavily.

Peridot had impeccable timing, that was for sure. At least Jasper wouldn't beat her up with someone else here.

"Everything is fine, Peridot," she said, her eyes still fixed on Jasper.

Jasper huffed. "Oh, now you're going to pretend everything's _just dandy_ to her? When she can clearly see that it's not? Great tactic."

 

"Okay. I'm not going back into the bathroom." Peridot said under her breath as Malachite scampered out of the room, appearing to want to escape the tension. Peridot swallowed and took a step in. "Lapis. Jasper's right about that- you really don't need to pretend things are fine. But maybe you two should back off from each other. It looks like you're literally about to break into a fight."

 

Neither relaxed.

The moment hung for a long, tense second, then Jasper's shoulders slumped and she sat back down.

Lapis let out a breath, visibly relieved. "Let's go to the other room, Peridot," she said, finally tearing her gaze away from Jasper and leading the way to the bedroom, where she had tidied away all the toys.

 

Peridot followed, worry plastered over her face. "What's... going on?"

 

Lapis closed the door behind them and sat down on the bed. "It's... complicated," she said. "Remember how I said our relationship isn't like a regular relationship? Yeah. This is what I meant. We... fight. A lot."

 

Peridot frowned. "You don't... hurt each other, do you?"

 

Lapis laughed, but there was barely any joy in it. "Define hurting each other."

 

Peridot swallowed. "Physically, I guess. I don't know much about the emotional side. I... are you safe, at least?"

 

"Oh, don't worry," Lapis said grimly. "Surprisingly enough, we're doing a lot better together than each of us would on their own."

She hesitated for a moment, then added, "She's jealous."

 

"Of what?"

 

"You." Lapis shrugged. "It's not really anything you need to worry about. But rest assured that when she offered you to tell me to leave you alone, she kind of had an ulterior motive."

 

Peridot began to laugh. "Why me? She's the lucky one! She's got a place of her own and people that respect her and you. I've got my mom and that's about it."

 

Lapis almost smiled. Peridot had more than she probably realised.

"She thinks I have a crush on you," she said.

 

And yet. Peridot was completely oblivious. "Why on earth would she think that?"

 

Oh, God, Peridot had no idea. "I dunno," Lapis said, "it's definitely not because I've been annoying you all year to get your attention."

 

"You have? I thought you were just trying to mess with me." Peridot shrugged. "I got bullied a lot. What do you want?"

 

Lapis gave a non-committal shrug. She was saved from having to answer by Malachite, who chose this moment to come out of her hiding place.

A smile found its way to Lapis's face. "There you are! Come here, you." She hopped off the bed to scoop up the iguana.

 

"Oh! She's here!" Peridot was all too easily distracted. "Well. If you ever want to come over, you can come to mine. I'm sure... my mom won't mind. Our we could talk. If you need support, I'm here. Constant fighting can't be good for you."

 

"Hmm." Lapis considered that. "You might be right. Thank you for the offer in any case." She stroked Malachite's scales lazily.

 

"Would it be... better if I left for now?"

 

"Maybe?" Lapis grimaced. "I'm so sorry. I'll talk to Jasper." Her own, special version of 'talking'. "Just so she's less rude next time you come around. And then we might actually cook something together! Is that okay?"

 

"Sure." Peridot smiled. "As long as you're going to be okay. "

 

"I'll be okay." Lapis gave Peridot a reassuring nod. "I've been doing this for two years now, I know how to handle her." Oh, did she. Jasper would get what was coming for her.

 

"You've got my number. If... she tries to hurt you... call the police. Or me. I don't know what's going on in here but... I guess I'm just worried."

 

"Oh, you've got entirely the wrong idea." Lapis got up. Malachite jumped off the bed and hid underneath it. "But it's touching that you worry so much. I'll be sure to keep myself safe, okay? I'll text you later."

 

"I'll let you know when I get home."

 

"Okay!" Lapis opened the door.

"Do you want to say bye to Jasper?" she asked.

 

"Would you advise it?"

 

"She's harmless," Lapis said. "You don't need to be scared." And as if to prove her point, she went into the living room.

"Peridot's leaving," she announced.

Her eyes met Jasper's. Communicating with a single look just how _pissed off_ she was at her.

 

 

Jasper gave a nervous swallow at this, the guilt of her actions already seeping in. How would Peridot even think of her now? "Bye." The word barely came out. It clung to the raspy bottom of her throat.

"I'll see you both at school next week!" Peridot replied, waving a goodbye and mournfully looking over the iguana. "Later, Malachite."

 

Lapis accompanied Peridot to the door and closed the front door behind her after she left.

A deep breath.

She turned around and made her way back into the living room.

"You and I need to have a little talk, Jasper."

 

Jasper raised her hands. "Alright. I fucked up. I should've just pretended everything was dandy in front of her. I get it."

 

"You _threatened me_. In front of her! Why would you think that's okay? She thinks I'm being abused." Lapis’s eyes narrowed. "Just because you couldn't keep your stupid gob shut. Really, Jasper, I thought you _wanted_ to stay with me."

 

"I do! And that's why I'm angry when you do stunts like this. I'm jealous, okay? You gave me no warning - I thought you were going to stay well away from her. Not bring her right into my safe zone."

 

Lapis rolled her eyes. "Really? Wow, and you want people to respect you? When you're being a weak _baby_ over me bringing a friend home? Honestly, it's like all you ever do is whine."

 

Jasper opened her mouth and then closed it. "I... I'm not. Lapis, stop it. You made yourself look like the victim here. I just wanted to have a peaceful night in with my girlfriend. But sometimes, you just... do this."

 

Lapis scoffed. "Oh, please, make me feel guilty for having a life outside of you. You know the world doesn't revolve around you, right? And here I thought _I_ was the manipulative one. You're a narcissist, you know that, right?"

 

"Maybe I am. I don't care. Do you want me to leave?"

 

"I'm still considering it," Lapis said coldly. "Let you sleep under a bridge or whatever, it's not like you deserve better."

 

Jasper looked away. "Don't make me go away. The school isn't open anymore, I can't just go to the gym. I'll sleep on the couch. I'll just leave you be, alright?"

 

"No," Lapis said, a sharp edge to her voice. "That's not going to cut it, Jasper."

It was raining out.

If it hadn't been, Lapis would probably not be considering this.

"Leave."

 

Jasper looked outside. She swallowed. "Lapis, I can't. I can't go outside. Please don't make me."

 

"Leave," Lapis hissed. "The sooner you go, the sooner I'll consider letting you back in. But you've gone too far. I want you out of my sight. Out. Now."

 

Jasper swallowed. "Alright. Alright, I'll go." She got up to fetch her coat, but it seemed Lapis wanted her out immediately. She decided to cut her losses and simply go.

 

"Good." Lapis crossed her arms. "I'll let you back in eventually. But you're having to stand in the rain for now. It's not due to stop all night. And no, you can't take an umbrella."

 

Jasper found her way to the door before turning around in one last attempt. "Lapis... You know I'm scared of water. You know I don't like it. Please don't make me do this."

 

"Yeah, well." Lapis regarded Jasper coldly. "You're just going to have to toughen up. Now get out of my flat."

 

Jasper gave her a terrified look and found herself walking outside. She stopped outside the door, just as it slammed shut. She turned on her heel. Eyes wide, terrified. It was January - even inside the flat was it damn cold. She gritted her teeth. Security would be around soon, so she couldn't just hang about inside. She swallowed her fear and tentatively made her way outside.

 

Lapis leaned back against the door she'd just slammed shut.

And started counting down the time.

Two minutes until Jasper was actually outside.

Five until she had a panic attack.

Five more until she would be crying and calling Lapis's phone to beg her to let her back in.

 

Jasper tentatively opened the door outside. The rain wasn't letting up. She could feel the moisture in the air and immediately withdrew. No. No no no. She couldn't do this. She couldn't even walk to school alone when it was wet outside.

The door locked behind her. She began to shiver.

 

Meanwhile, Lapis decided to be cruel.

She took out her phone and set it on silent.

"Malachite?" she called.

The lizard poked her head out of the bedroom door.

"There you are! Clever girl." Lapis was only just fast enough to catch her. "Come here, it's time for your dinner."

 

Jasper could feel her breathing seize up. Her hair was growing more and more wet. Her skin. Her clothes. Even with all the oxygen she'd ever need, she felt like drowning. She attempted to breathe. She couldn't. No. No no no.

She swallowed her pride and got her phone. Her fingers slid over it as the rain gathered atop. It wasn't working. She began to claw at her skin.

Finally. She got it to function.

She pressed the number to dial Lapis.

 

Lapis didn't answer.

She was busy feeding Malachite, which was always a rather lengthy endeavour. Or could be, if Lapis so wished. She only prepared the finest fruit, vegetables and lettuce for her darling pet. Arranged it carefully in her bowl. It took several minutes.

Outside, Jasper was having a bad time.

She would likely be frozen by the time Lapis showed her mercy.

Lapis smirked, then walked into the bathroom and started filling up the tub.

 

Jasper, in the meantime, was beginning to panic. Her nails had broken through her skin as she'd given up clawing at the door to the apartment complex. She then sat on the ground. Shivering.

Crying.

Memories began to crawl into her mind, like tiny bugs burying their way through.

 

And really, Lapis thought, while she was already making food, she might as well make something for herself. And for Jasper. But Jasper had to earn it.

Pasta, she decided. Making the sauce took another few minutes.

Then she let it simmer and took out her phone to see how many missed calls she had.

 

Eighteen, at this point.

Jasper was tugging at her hair. Shaking. Her breath came out frosty in the cold air, against the rain. She could barely breathe. Her eyes were tightly shut. She would later thank God no passers by appeared, or they'd have called an ambulance or perhaps even the police.

 

Lapis sighed softly.

It _had_ been quite a while.

She composed a text.

_I'll let you back in. But you're having a bath. Just ring the buzzer._

 

It took Jasper five seconds to leap to the buzzer.

 

Lapis let several seconds go past when she heard the buzzer.

Then, she started moving. Slowly, deliberately. Then pressed the button to unlock the front door.

 

Warmth. Dryness. Light.

Jasper didn't care about the fact that she was soaking wet or bawling. She raced upstairs, trembling. Needing to dry, like a washed kitten.

 

Jasper was upstairs in record time. Lapis was waiting for her at the door. Let her gaze wander down Jasper. She was dripping, soaking wet. Crying. Shaking.

"You're having a bath," Lapis said calmly.

 

Jasper choked through sobs. "I- I can't."

 

"It's that or going back outside. I'm only letting you in if you'll have a bath. It's all ready. Nice and warm."

 

The warmth was a seductive concept. Jasper trembled. She gazed at her hands and tried to get them to stop. To somehow control herself. She began to choke and cry harder. "A shower, please! A-anything else?!"

 

"A bath." Lapis stood her ground. "I'll come in with you," she offered as a concession. "But you can't hurt me. If you do, you're staying outside all night."

 

Jasper couldn't go back outside. "I can take it on my own." She could pretend that way.

 

Lapis snorted. "No you can't. You're weak. Pathetic. Now come in. Get your clothes off and try not to get the entire flat wet."

 

Weak. Pathetic.

Jasper certainly felt that way. She forced herself to strip. Not wanting to be naked in front of anyone right now. The concept of being exposed while crying felt like Lapis had torn into her midsection and ripped out whatever lay inside.

But she did it. She did it because it was better than being outside.

Her clothes lay discarded at her side, her nipples cold and hard to the point of soreness. Her skin felt so damp and frozen, it felt overbearingly hot.

Only her shorts remained on as she trudged to the bathroom. Terrified. Skin covered in goosebumps.

 

Lapis came to the bathroom with her, slipping out of her clothes with ease.

"Well?" she asked Jasper impatiently. "Take your shorts off and get in. I'm not going to wait forever."

 

Jasper clawed at her thighs. They bled. Her arms bled. Her scalp bled. She gave Lapis one last terrified glance with those golden eyes, but kept her mouth shut as she slowly stripped. Exposing herself completely. She looked at the bath as if it contained acid, rather than water.

She'd prefer acid.

Breaking down once more, she tried to get in. Jasper managed to stand in it. But she couldn't lower her mass into the water.

 

Lapis watched.

"Get in," she repeated coldly.

 

"I'm... in." Jasper pointed at the water that went up to her shins. Even at this proximity, she wanted to vomit.

 

"You know what I mean. Stop playing stupid, you know what I want. Get. In."

 

Jasper leant down a little. The water now up to her thighs and crotch as her knees folded to accommodate her body. She began to hyperventilate.

 

"Stay there," Lapis ordered. "I'll be right back. I'm just turning off the stove. I made food. You can have some after your bath." She went into the kitchen, stark naked. It only took her a few seconds, then she was back.

 

In that time, Jasper had promptly stood up. She seemed to be completely out of it, eyes staring into the distance.

 

Lapis sighed. "Sit back down," she said. "I'm coming in."

 

She didn't face Lapis. Her breathing drifted between deep and shallow with little inbetween. Hitching.

She somehow made it down. Still kneeling.

 

Lapis didn't wait. She got in the bath. The warm water sloshed around her calves. Jasper was still shaking.

Calmly, Lapis took the shower head. Turned it on.

Faced Jasper.

 

Jasper's vision snapped into focus. "What... w-what are you doing?!"

 

"Getting you to sit down properly. You're being difficult." A moment later, warm water hit Jasper's chest.

 

Jasper cried out. She bent backwards to escape the drizzle - her head submerging and then emerging back as she heaved for air.

 

"Good," Lapis crooned. "Isn't this nice? You're warming up." She turned the shower off and put it back before lying down and finally, finally touching Jasper.

"Breathe," she whispered. "You can hurt me, if you want to."

 

Jasper clawed her wrists again, ribbons of red drifting and disappearing beneath her nails. She closed her eyes as voices from past memories drifted into her mind. Screaming. Drill sergeants. Her parents. The pool. She could smell the dense chlorine from the faint recesses of her memory and she could barely breathe. It was suffocating.

 

"Look at me, Jasper," Lapis said softly. "You're here, you're with me. You're safe. Breathe. I love you. I love you." She touched Jasper's face, touched her hair.

 

"Why are you making me do this?" Her voice was eerily calm. Only betrayed by the breath she struggled to catch.

 

"Because you deserve it. Breathe." She let her hands roam Jasper's skin. "It'll be over soon. I'm just wanting you to warm up properly."

 

Her eyes were distant. "I can't swim." Words no longer made sense. "I can't breathe!"

 

"Look at me, Jasper." Lapis rubbed her thumb over Jasper's cheek. "Look at me."

 

"Don't make me swim!"

 

Lapis huffed, then reached out to pull the plug. The water drained quickly. "Jasper," she said, "I'm not. Look, it's me. It's Lapis. Your girlfriend. It's okay. It's okay."

 

"I'm going to drown!"

 

"You're not," Lapis said. "Look, the water's gone. It's okay, Jasper. It's okay. It's okay."

 

"Mayday." A whimper. Her eyes didn't focus. She seemed utterly lost. " _Mayday_."

 

"I'm here."

The water was gone. Lapis grabbed a towel she'd strategically positioned next to the bath and gently started patting Jasper down with it. "Jasper, hey," she said softly, "Jasper. Can you hear me? It's me, it's Lapis."

 

And finally, it stopped. Her eyes seemed to come back in to the world. She looked around, still shaken and a little distant. "Lapis?" She swallowed. "What's happening?"

 

"Flashback. Here. You'll be okay. Can you get out?" Lapis got off Jasper and got out of the bath, leaving the towel with Jasper.

 

Her voice was softer. Tranquilised. But she was still shaky. Jasper touched her face, almost as if she was only now realising she'd been sobbing. "Yeah. I- I should be just fine."

 

Lapis wrapped herself in a towel. "You'll be okay," she said again. "I made food. Come here." She held out a hand to Jasper.

 

Jasper took it. A strange trust in her eyes, despite everything. "What did you make?"

 

"Pasta with sauce. Simple. We have cheese as well." She reached up to brush a strand of wet hair out of Jasper's face.

 

Her voice was quiet. It even lacked it's usual bass. "I'd like that."

 

She was so docile. Lapis smiled. "Good. I'll get you some dry clothes. I'll be right back."

 

"Please don't be gone too long. I need you."

 

"I know. I'm here." She leaned in and pressed a kiss against Jasper's lips. Then she left, went into the bedroom and got clothes for Jasper.  
She probably took just a little longer than she needed to. But she was still back less than a minute later.

 

Jasper's face lit up when she returned. She carefully extracted herself from the bath; hair soggy despite her repeated attempts to press the water out.

 

Lapis noticed. "Do you want me to get the hair dryer?" she asked.

 

"I want you to stay with me."

 

"Okay." Lapis came in and kissed Jasper's neck. "I'm here."

 

Jasper's voice was still unstable. "Can I put my clothes on?"

 

"Yes, of course. Here." Lapis handed her her clothes.

 

Jasper's touch lingered when she retrieved the clothing. She looked at Lapis for a good moment before starting to slide her body into them. "You always get me this shirt." It was low cut and cropped. "Do you like it on me?'

 

"Of course." Lapis smiled at Jasper. "It shows all the hickeys I give you." As well as Jasper's magnificent cleavage.

 

Yes. The hickeys. Jasper swallowed. "No sex tonight, please. I don't think I can."

 

"Sure." Lapis put on her own clothes. "Let's go eat," she then said.

 

Jasper followed, her body still a little cold. But no longer causing her to heave. "I'm sorry." She swallowed. "About earlier. You were right to punish me."

 

Lapis turned to look at Jasper.  
"Well, you've more than paid for it," she said. "You're going to be nice to Peridot, yeah? She's gonna come over again."

 

Jasper looked down. "Alright."

 

Lapis smirked. "Come on, you can't tell me you don't like her even a little. She's cute!"

 

"She's alright, I guess. I just... get jealous when you're giving other people attention. What if you just leave me?"

 

"Oh, babe." Lapis ran her fingers over Jasper's forearm. "Don't you remember what happened last time I tried to leave you?"

 

"Yeah. And it wasn't pretty. But you didn't leave me and have someone else for support. What if you do, and you end up courting that brat and she's better than me?"

 

"Don't be silly. I can't live without you." That had been proven without a doubt time and again.

 

"I guess. I'll... try my best not to complain. Maybe have her around when I'm at the gym?"

 

"Maybe," Lapis said, already knowing that she wasn't going to do it. She'd use Peridot to wind Jasper up again - it had worked so very well this time.

 

Jasper smiled at the response.  She got herself more settled at the table, remembering to zip up her jeans. "I'd appreciate it. Let's have some grub. I'm starving!"

 

Lapis smiled. "Yeah, let's," she said. "And then let's go to bed and just cuddle." Jasper had been good. She deserved it.

 

"I'd like to." It was as if she had no recollection of Lapis's cruelty. She gave a grateful nod. "Thank you. For keeping me in line. And taking care of me."

 

"Anytime, my love." Lapis smiled and went to get their food. "Anytime."


	38. Act V - Chapter V: Playing Nice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings for this chapter: manipulation.

 

_Marigold sat on Claire’s right._

_The woman on Marigold’s right, opposite Claire, had a lovely smile, a pretty face, and pleasant features. She smiled and laughed a lot. She always wore extravagant clothes, and her hair was often spiked. It looked fluffy. Marigold often wondered what the texture would feel like if she ran her hands through it. She never knew if she was allowed to touch, so she didn’t._

_ _

_Roxy Dayman was a teacher, kind-hearted yet cruel in small, insidious ways. Marigold didn’t notice it at first, but then it crept up on her: how she was ever smiling, loving, supportive – and yet her words stung more often than not. How she spoke dismissively of her partners, who she appeared to have full control over._

_Marigold asked her, once, how she did it._

_Roxy smiled her. “Oh, my dear,” she said. “It’s a long learned skill, you just have to know how to handle them.”_

_And so, Marigold watched. And learned. Found out that Roxy’s method of success was a carefully woven net of gentle love, manipulation and power. The people she dated adored her. Did everything for her._

_Roxy told her stories smiling, delicately grasping a cigarette holder, a look of girlish delight on her pretty features. Her demeanour spoke of happiness, innocence. She never looked like she thought anything wrong of her behaviour._

 

\--

 

The second week of term had begun fairly smoothly. Pearl cheerily found herself en route to the Principal's office on her free period for her second appointment. She found Aurora outside once more. Not again.

 

Aurora knew her Principal's schedule. It was her job as secretary. So she was expecting Pearl.

So was Marigold.

Aurora had all but given up hope that she could talk to Pearl reasonably about this. She knew all too well how enticing Marigold could be. And Pearl wouldn't know it was a trap until it was too late. And there was nothing Aurora could do.

So she just gave Pearl a vacant smile.

"The Principal is expecting you."

 

 

Pearl felt a pang of surprise. So kind. There was such obedience present. She wanted to break down and thank Marigold. Someone had whipped her sister into shape.

"Thank you." She said, smirking a little. She carefully approached the door. Knocking.

 

 _Oh, please don't thank me_ , Aurora thought.

She felt like crying.

"Come in," Marigold's voice came from behind her office door, which closed behind Pearl shortly afterwards.

 

Pearl softly padded in. She felt heat rush to her face. "Good afternoon, Principal. I hope all is well?"

 

"Everything is excellent, Pearl. Take a seat." Marigold generously gave Pearl a smile. Everything was, indeed, going great. Pearl was under control. Quartz was under control. Aurora was obedient.

"How has your week been?" she asked Pearl.

 

 

Oh. Everything had been just wonderful. Pearl beamed. "Got a bunch of work done for my biology. I really enjoy my major- my tutor is great."

 

"Oh, is she, now?" Such naivety. Maybe Pearl didn't even know that Quartz was a serial offender. "I do hope she's been keeping your interactions strictly professional. She's been... known to overstep her boundaries before."

 

Pearl flushed. "Oh!" She tried to keep herself from laughing. "She's... very professional."

 

"I see." Marigold observed Pearl sharply, trying to figure out if she was lying or not. Her results were inconclusive.

"Well, please do let me know if that changes. You definitely wouldn't be the first," she said.

 

Pearl paused. She clenched her fists. "What... what do you mean?"

 

"Oh, nothing's ever been proven." Marigold felt triumphant. She had her. "But there's been rumours, Pearl. Quartz has her favourites, and she likes to... encourage them. Sometimes through rather... inappropriate means."

 

No. No, it wasn't like that. Pearl gritted her teeth. "That's... awful." She tried to sound surprised - and to a degree, she was. But... "That's alright though. There's... nothing going on with us like that."

 

"Good. Keep it that way," Marigold said. "I'd hate for you to be disappointed. But, anyway, you're here to discuss your academic progress. How have things been going? Apart from biology?"

 

"Physics and maths are alright. English isn't my strong suit and I've got two essays due for history yet. But I think I'll be okay."

 

"Ah, I see. Well, I'm sure you're aware that I teach history, so I have a particular interest in not seeing you fall behind. But Ms Spearmint has said you are certainly an outstanding student in her class."

 

"Oh? Some help in history would actually be helpful!" Pearl forced herself to smile. Her insides in a little turmoil. She and Rose were serious. Rose had struggled with coming to terms over her existence. "I wouldn't want to fail something important to you, Principal."

 

Principal Diamond smiled amicably. "Well, you are seeing me weekly, so that can surely be arranged," she said. She hadn't given private tutoring in years. This could be interesting.

 

"Any time with you is a pleasure, Principal," Pearl purred, voice smooth.

 

She sounded so much like Aurora.

It hurt. Diamond pushed the feelings away instantly. She had no time to be feeling anything this... sentimental.

"I'm glad to hear it," she said evenly. "Is there anything else you'd like to address?"

 

Pearl could only provide Marigold that pretty smile. "Not in particular. Home life isn't too great. My parents haven't been too good for a few weeks and I think it's been getting worse."

 

"Are they neglecting you?" Marigold asked. Aurora had hinted at something like that several times. The way her parents treated Pearl seemed to be very upsetting to Aurora, almost triggering. Marigold had never asked her to elaborate.

 

Pearl looked away. Somewhat upset by mention of the neglect. "I suppose. Aurora isn't around much anymore and I'm happy about that. But... the other day I came home and they didn't even say hi."

 

"Hmm." Marigold frowned. "It must be hurtful, to be abandoned by the people who are supposed to keep you safe."

 

"I don't want to be left by anyone again. It hurts a lot. And I feel like I'm losing one of my only friends because I got too close to her and tried to..." Pearl swallowed. Too much. She'd said too much.

 

It had already caught Marigold's attention, though.

"I see," she said.

Pearl was so trusting.

"I'm sure you'll be able to work things out with your _friend_ ," Marigold said. "Though it must hurt. After what your sister did to you as well."

 

"Yeah." Pearl gave a sad laugh. "I don't want to lose anyone. So I'll back off. I love her a lot, though."

 

"Only as a friend, though, surely," Marigold said, her voice suddenly about twenty degrees colder.

 

Pearl felt her stomach turn. "Oh! Yes!" She didn't sound convincing at all. "Oh man, I sure do love boys it sure is a shame I go to an all girls school!"

 

 

Unconvincing, but acceptable. "You know I don't appreciate interactions like that between girls. It isn't right."

 

Pearl swallowed. Flushing. "It isn't." It was easier to just agree. She was used to simply going with things. She twirled a strand of hair. "You shouldn't have to worry. It takes a certain type to charm me, anyway."

 

"Oh, really?" Marigold's interest was piqued. "And what type would that be?"

 

"Tall. Powerful. Hot." She raised her eyebrows. "I enjoy dominance, you know. That kind of thing."

 

"I see."

It made Marigold feel warm. For Pearl to speak so openly of her... preferences. It was rather obvious that she preferred women, despite her insistence on the contrary.

And it seemed that her 'type', so to speak, wasn't that different from Aurora's.

"Well, sadly you will find no such men here," she said.

 

"A true tragedy. I'll just have to make do."

 

"Hm. Indeed." Pearl did not seem very upset at all.

Marigold refused to think about the implications.

"Is there anything else, Pearl?" she asked.

 

"No, Principal." A tiny smirk. "Anything from your end?"

 

"Nothing too pressing. Has Aurora been keeping to our agreement?"

 

"Yes. She's been very good to me." Pearl offered another purr.

 

"Excellent. Really, I'd rather have you stay away from her anyway. Some of the things she's said about you..." Marigold frowned. "I'd rather not repeat."

 

Pearl frowned. "She's said things?"

 

"Oh, yes. She's been working for me for five years, Pearl." Another frown. She projected concern. "I used to think it was just an older sister being annoyed at her younger sister, but from talking to you it sounds like it might have been more than that."

 

"Does she... still do it?" Pearl felt her hands fidget. "I mean... I suppose I've given her reason to be upset, but..."

 

"Oh, she definitely does still talk. Well, not lately, not since I've told her to back off. At least not to me. Who knows what she could be telling other people."

 

Pearl looked away. Having to stop herself from scratching. "Indeed. I hope she... isn't. I mean, my best friend lives with her now... Oh God."

 

Marigold's frown deepened. "She has one of my _students_ living with her? And one of your friends at that? Oh, that is worrying. And inappropriate, to say the least. Who knows what they could be getting up to!"

 

"She's not into women. I don't think it's a big deal."

 

"Hm. I will ask Aurora about it." It was funny to watch how quickly Pearl jumped to conclusions. Marigold hadn't even intended it to sound like Aurora and Pearl's friend had... something going on. The thought filled her with violent jealousy. She tried to push it away.

 

"Although... she's become very defensive of Aurora lately." Pearl tapped her thighs. "She used to be far more defensive of me. And the age gap isn't... But she wouldn't. She wouldn't. Rori wouldn't. She's been with someone else."

 

"She has?" Had Aurora told Pearl about Marigold - surely not the specifics, but maybe she'd hinted that she was seeing someone. Or - or she was seeing someone else?

More jealousy. Aurora was _hers_. Aurora had no right to see other people.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Marigold said.

 

"They broke up around Christmas, I think. I called her out on it before going to hospital. She got upset. But she's pretty and stuff. Always really popular with everyone. I wouldn't be surprised if she's rebounded." Pearl shrugged.

 

"Ah."

Marigold had no idea how to feel. Aurora had told people - or made people think - that they broke up? They hadn't. They hadn't been dating. It had only been... Marigold's feelings were in turmoil. She couldn't think like this. It was wrong, it was awful, shameful, disgusting. Memories of drunkenly kissing Aurora assaulted her. Memories of touching her. Intoxication, drunk on wine and...

She missed alcohol. Part of her considered going out after the meeting with Pearl and buying some.

It wasn't the first time today that she'd considered it, but it was stronger now. Pearl's mentions of Aurora's 'relationship' made Marigold's urge to relapse stronger. She wanted to. She needed to.

But she had to be strong. Stronger than this. Stronger than the sinful thoughts inside her and the alcohol that drove her to do sinful acts.

"Well," she said, carefully controlling her voice. "I will talk to her and see if I can find out."

 

 

Pearl could only smirk a little at the subtle looks on Marigold's face. She didn't understand why, but the tiny grasps of power made her heart race. She still felt like sinking, however. Thoughts of Rose and Rori and Amy. She needed to breathe. "Will that be all, Principal Diamond?"

 

"Yes, I think so. I will see you next week."

She suddenly wanted Pearl out of her office. She wanted, more than anything, to drink and to forget. Maybe find Aurora and beg her to drive her home. It had been so long. And Marigold still didn't know why Aurora...

Oh.

_Oh._

She'd stopped drinking. No more alcohol meant no more sex.

Was Aurora really that invested in their casual affair?

 

Pearl nodded and carefully gathered herself. "I'll see what I need help with in history. But I'll see you later. Thanks for... today."

 

"It's no problem, Pearl. Kindly close the door on your way out."

She wanted to scream.

 

Pearl nodded. She gathered herself and let the door close. The second she got out, she stared Aurora down. "I'm not going to forgive you. Ever."

 

Aurora looked up.

"And for what, exactly?" she said, fighting hard to keep her voice calm.

What on earth had Marigold told Pearl?

 

 

"This is the only friendship I have left. Don't you dare touch her." Pearl knew she wasn't being specific. She knew she'd worry Aurora.

Good.

She didn't bother listening to anything else, and promptly left.

 

And honestly, worry was an understatement.

_What had Marigold told Pearl?_

 

\--

 

The evening after Marigold Diamond had found her in her office had not been a pleasant one for Rose Quartz.

Predictably, she'd had to cry in Greg's arms for about an hour.

But then, once she could think clearly again, she'd decided that it was enough.

Diamond was terrorising her purposely, and it had to stop.

So she'd made up her mind.

She didn't like it. But for now, it was her best battle plan. She needed allies.

So lunch next day found her in the staff room. Waiting.

 

Jasper had gone back to being mostly her old self since the incident in the rain. A little jumpy, easier spooked, but she always recovered. It was the honeymoon phase once more, and she actually turned up to the staff room early with intent to sit by Lapis. She drifted in and gathered her usual lunch before spotting Rose, deciding to give her a nod. Mutual respect gained since the holiday.

 

 

The fact that Jasper nodded at her was a good sign. Rose smiled at her and got up.

"Jasper -" she said. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

 

Oh geeze. Jasper sighed audibly. "One meetup and you think we're butt buddies? Fine. C'mere. What can I do for you?"

 

Rose blushed. "No, I know we're not," she said, walking over to Jasper and sitting down next to her. "I - god, I really hoped I'd never have to do this but - I need your help."

 

Oh. This piqued her interest. Her voice dropped. "And how can I help you out?"

 

Rose held Jasper's gaze steadily.

"The... situation we talked about before," she then said softly. "With... a certain member of staff." Other teachers were around. Rose needed to get them on her side as well... but that would probably not be easy if they heard her bitching about Diamond in the staff room openly.

 

"The big yellow. Gotcha." Jasper winked. A codename. "Has it gotten worse?"

 

"I'm afraid so." Rose sighed. "She found me yesterday after classes. All but threatened me." Snippets of conversation played back in her mind, making her shudder. "She's... exerting her influence on a certain student of mine."

 

"How so?" Jasper raised her brows, swallowing. Oh no. This wasn't good. Pearl was by all means... very impressionable when it came to older women. It was what had made her the perfect dancer just a year ago. "Is she in danger? Are you?"

 

"I don't think so." Rose frowned. "Not acutely, in any case. But... she's going to make her worse. She's already manipulating her against her sister. It's only going to get worse and I can't..." She was getting too emotional, she realised. She straightened her face. "I just worry," she finished.

 

"Alright. We need to focus on her safety. _Yellow's_ influence feels off - and I know just how easily Pearl can bend to someone's will if you play your cards right. You've got to be careful with that kid." Jasper then cracked her knuckles. "Right. You need to be honest with me. Does she have any potential evidence that could give her the legal leverage to do this to you?"

 

"No. I would know if she did." That she was 100% certain of. Pearl wasn't going to tell (or was she? Diamond was a powerful manipulator) amd nobody else knew.

 

"Alright. Then our prime goal is to catch her in the act and expose her shit. That's hard, though. She's been at this for decades."

It was at that point that Lapis padded in, looking around for Jasper and frowning at seeing her with Rose. Uncaring of getting her invite, she popped herself down on the sofa next to the table, beside Jasper. "Jasper. Quartz. Hi. Didn't know we were having a meeting."

 

Rose looked up.

"We're not," she said. "Hello, Lapis."

Lapis Lazuli could be an asset. And Rose knew about their relationship. So anything she discussed with Jasper would likely get to Lapis as well.

 

"This was a private affair." Jasper gave a tiny scowl. "But whatever. You don't like _Yellow_ , so it's fine."

"Ohh. This is about her." Lapis nodded. "Yeah. She's kind of awful and hasn't given me or Jasper a raise for this year so she's going down. What's the scoop?"

 

If Rose was taken aback by the coldness Lapis projected, she didn't show it.

"Yes," she said. Her reasons were a little... different from Lapis's, she supposed. "She's been harassing me. Threatening. And now she's manipulating my... a student of mine."

 

She clocked in a millisecond. "Pearl's giving her trouble. Sounds like you last year." Lapis playfully punched Jasper's arm. Jasper could only give her a heated glare and Lapis paused. "Alright. That's not okay. We've noticed she's been hounding after you before the holidays. Has it gotten worse?"

 

"I wouldn't be talking to you right now if it hadn't." Rose sighed. "She's going to be evaluating my curriculum. She came in yesterday and all but threatened me. And I have reason to believe she's been harassing her assistant as well. Pearl's sister."

 

Jasper and Lapis both looked at each other and simultaneously nodded. "Yellow Pearl."

Jasper then looked at Rose. "We're not alone. Use the code names if you're talking about members of staff. You're in a war, now, Quartz. Learn to fight for your freedom."

"Oh, quit the drama, jarhead." Lapis rolled her eyes. "But yeah - Rose. Make sure no one catches you bitching. The walls have ears. An evaluation of your curriculum after several years of exemplary results halfway through the year is bullshit. She's definitely up to something."

 

"It's an intimidation tactic. And it's working," Rose admitted. "I need allies. This isn't just about me. She could really hurt Pearl - I recognise the patterns. I don't ever want something like that to happen to her. Or anyone, really."

 

"Why would she hurt Pearl?" Lapis tiled her head. "She's not that much of a target, is she?"

 

"There's plenty of reasons. Homophobia - she thinks Pearl and I..." Rose let the sentence fade off, not sure how to finish. "Which we're not," she added, hastily, despite the fact that she had kissed Pearl - multiple times. "She's also fallen out with Aur... yellow Pearl lately. She can hold a grudge - she could be using Pearl to get back at her."

 

"Did you really have nothing going on with Pearl?" Lapis asked, twiddling with her hair. A smirk resting on her features.

Jasper frowned. "I already asked that, Lapis. Drop it."

"All I'm saying is that she could be running her mouth." Lapis prodded at her lips and stared Rose down.

 

"She wouldn't," Rose said automatically, then immediately cursed herself. That was the wrong thing to say. "Not that there's anything going on. There isn't." Lapis and Jasper weren't stupid. They would see right through her.

 

Lapis's tone turned cold. "We're only going to help you if you're honest with us. There's no point in hiding anything."

Jasper gave an uncomfortable look. "Lapis-"

"You're on your own, otherwise."

 

 

A deep frown etched itself on Rose's face.

"I don't want to say anything," she said, her voice low, "not while we're here." They would, at least, understand that.

 

 

That appeared to be enough for Lapis. "I'm not going to judge. Like I said before, she's cute. Not my style, but you're Street legal so I can't complain. We set up the Diamond Watch not too long ago - it's how we've kept tabs on the activities of Yellow Pearl and big Yellow. They used to go home a lot; but... if you know that she's fallen out with her secretary, then that's news to us."

Jasper, on the other hand, was flabbergasted. "You took _her_ , too?"

"Shut up, Jasper. This isn't about you." Lapis rolled her eyes. "What I'm trying to say is that you're by no means the first person to notice the corruption. There's a few of us keeping an eye. But it's very much on the down low. We're collecting receipts right now - so when the time comes, we can expose her. And this seems to be pretty good."

 

Jasper's tone hurt Rose, but she didn't respond.

Instead, she listened to Lapis.

"Honestly, I don't want to fight," she said softly. "I just want her to leave me alone. Me and Pearl and Aurora and... everyone."

 

"You and I both know that isn't how Yellow operates. She's a war machine and she's not scared of killing her victims." Lapis opened her lunchbox. "It's a war we have to fight. For all of our freedoms. Do you think I enjoy having to back off touching Jasper because she's around? Fuck no."

 

A small smile found its way to Rose's lips.

"This is why I came to you," she said. "I have no choice in this. I have to protect my students... my colleagues. Myself." She nodded. "But I can't do it alone. I need allies."

 

"And we're here. As long as you're honest." Lapis replied.

Jasper snapped out of her shock and gave a nod. "Start recording things. Set up cameras. CCTV if you can afford it. Get voice recording software."

 

Rose swallowed. "I'll do my best," she said. "It's still going to be hard to prove anything. The system is corrupt, and she has money."

 

"That's why we need to collect evidence. Is there any way we could start to safeguard Pearl? Hmm." Lapis looked at Jasper. "Jasper. Yellow wouldn't touch you."

"Why not?"

"Because you're big and scary and only I can hurt you. Start guarding her."

 

"Pearl has somehow managed to set up weekly meetings with Di.. Yellow," Rose said. Still not really getting the hang of those secret names. "We can't really do anything about that since it's with her consent and all... but Di- Yellow is manipulating her, I know she is."

 

"Then we'll just have to start making it very inconvenient for them to spend time together. Jasper, you did a little physio training, right?"

Jasper shrugged."I guess. But you aren't going to get me to teach her if she's actively trying to avoid me."

"Then, Quartz - convince her to start training with Jasper again. Tell her she's getting fat or some shit."

 

Rose turned pale.

"Never," she said, her voice cold. "I would never do that to her. She's just been in hospital for her eating disorder -" She fell silent. That, she realised, was probably not public knowledge.

 

"Oh. Geeze. No wonder she doesn't look like a heroin addict anymore. Just do whatever to get her training. Say it's for health. That's at least some time she's under Jasper's wing. I'll start badgering her about English and get her to spend more time with me."

 

"She will probably need physiotherapy for her knee. Jasper, you could help with that, couldn't you? She injured it again over the holidays." Rose looked at Jasper. "I trust you - she'll be safe with you."

 

Jasper paused. Her eyes turning wide as she couldn't quite look at Rose right. A guilt tremoring in the baritone of her voice. "Yes. I taught her for years. She trusted me, too. I can guard her."

 

Rose nodded. She was acutely aware of how Jasper couldn't seem to meet her eyes.

"She will need the protection," she said softly. "She might not know it - she might even think she knows what she's doing. But I..." Her voice shook a little. "I know Dia- I know Big Yellow's type, I've seen it happen." It had happened to her. Naively trusting a person in power. A serial abuser being... _nice_. It shook Rose to the core.

 

Lapis playfully punched Jasper's arm. "Yeah, you boulder. Besides, it's your duty to safeguard her."

Jasper looked like she was a million miles away. "Are you sure I'm the best person to have that responsibility? I mean, Lapis... You're good with people."

"Pearl doesn't trust me at all. She barely turns up to my classes. You two have history."

 

"You'll do just fine, Jasper," Rose said in a tone she hoped was reassuring. "Besides, didn't you say you wanted to talk to Pearl more again? This could be your opportunity." She smiled.

 

Jasper gave a forced smile. "Yes. I'll... do my best. I'll let her know as soon as possible. When do you need me to schedule her in?"

 

"As soon as possible, please," Rose said. "She has weekly meetings with... Big Yellow. I can let her know, if you want. I see her almost every day."

 

"Please." Jasper nodded. "I'll revise up on my physio. And we'll keep her safe. Get a recording app or something. Literally the second you see her walk into a room, start monitoring Yellow."

 

Rose frowned. "That might be illegal... I'd rather not risk it. But I will if I have to. I have to protect my students." She had to protect Pearl.

 

Lapis shrugged. "Don't be dumb and let her catch you. That's it."

Jasper merely nodded. Still a little apprehensive. "Just be careful. Is there anything else we can help you with?"

 

Rose sighed. It might be possible.

But not, she realised, without more help.

"I don't think so. Thank you both," she said.

 

"Meeting adjourned." Lapis nodded and tugged at Jasper's collar in a little possessive motion. "C'mon now. I want to smooch you before I go back into class. I'll see you later, Quartz." And with that, she tugged Jasper with her in the direction of the bathroom. Jasper could only give a quick wave goodbye.

 

 

 


	39. Act V - Chapter VI: Open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: Mentions of homophobia and transphobia.

 

Rose had to admit – she was a little nervous.

Because today was the day she’d take Pearl to the University open day.

She’d instructed Pearl to come to her house – after all, Pearl knew where she lived – and had made packed lunches for both of them.

Greg wasn’t there, and Rose was okay with that; it would probably only make things more complicated if he was around. She still didn’t quite know how Pearl felt about her dating other people.

She only realised she was watching the clock when she looked several times in quick succession and only a few minutes had passed.

 

Pearl, meanwhile, had only slept two hours. Her heart had raced ever since she’d realised they’d arranged to go out together. Like a couple. On a date. A real… Well, actually, it was perhaps the least ‘datelike’ outing they’d set aside time for yet. But the thought excited her nonetheless.

She’d ensured to look fresh faced - makeup had been applied from the crack of dawn. Everything had to be perfect and presentable. She didn’t want Rose to regret being seen in public with her. And she wanted to impress her.

Still, as the morning hours had passed, the knots in Pearl’s stomach grew. A cruel sense of foreboding. The university they were due to visit was the one a large amount of the girls at her school ended up in.

Pearl swallowed as she exited the door. Rose couldn’t protect her in that regard. Not from the way her own scars would make her act. Pearl glanced at the direction of the school as she walked. What if she ran into her old bullies? Or the people that had ditched her. What if, what if… Was this even a good idea? Would she even get into Uni?

She thought of turning around. Calling to Rose to tell her she felt too sick to come. Maybe even bailing out without a word.

No. Rose didn’t deserve that. Not after everything. She swallowed, feeling paranoia over what Marigold had said. If Rose was treating this like some form of casual affair, she wouldn’t be bothering to take her out. Unless Uni was just a way for her to get rid of Pearl. She clenched her fists.

It was too late to turn back, however.

She’d made it to Rose’s home, once more. Her fingers dusted the doorbell before ringing.

 

 

Pearl was exactly on time; and yet, Rose still managed to be startled by the doorbell.

She hurried to the door and opened it, beaming at Pearl. Her student looked prettier than ever.

“Good morning, Pearl!” Rose said warmly. “Do you want to come in for a quick coffee before we head off?”

 

“Oh, of course!” Pearl’s mind flipped back to disordered thinking in the nanosecond. Coffee. Low calorie. Appetite suppressant. She bit her lip. “It’s so cold out, I could use something to warm me up.” No milk. No sugars. “Can I have it extra milky? Two sugars.”

She’d learnt through therapy that sometimes, the only cure to things and such a thought process was doing the complete opposite. No matter how much it hurt. Her skin crawled where her bones were no longer as obvious. Covered.

But she needed to recover. For everyone that she’d hurt in the past half year. “How are you this morning?”

 

Rose’s heart warmed at Pearl’s words. “I’m very well, thank you! How are you, Pearl?”

The kettle had already boiled, so Rose waved her hand at Pearl to come inside with her and closed the door before going into the kitchen to make coffee. One for her, one for Pearl. The mugs already set out. Rose had hoped Pearl would come inside.

“You can go to the living room, if you want,” she told Pearl. “I’ll be through with the coffee in a bit.”

And sure enough, she brought the mugs less than a minute later.

 

Pearl settled herself on the sofa. Feeling her thighs take up more space than they had in months. She took a deep inhale. She didn’t need to think about it. Just to breathe. Be aware of her body, and to accept it.

It was difficult when she still struggled with hating it. Hating herself.

She smiled at Rose. “I’m so excited for today! Oh, goodness! It’s been a while since I was anywhere near the Uni. There’s bubble tea there!” Surely, things should be fine. She was no longer pining for Rose. It was real. She was closer than she’d ever really hoped to get to her teacher.

And yet, something about it just didn’t… feel real. She thought she’d start to love herself if Rose really loved her. But Pearl still hated herself. And that in itself wasn’t anyone’s fault. Not even hers. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t trying. She picked up the coffee and took a sip. “Anything planned for next week?”

 

 

Rose sat down next to Pearl, not bothering to keep any kind of distance between them. She sipped her coffee, then put it down.

“Oh, nothing too exciting,” she said. Just some more plotting to overthrow their Principal… but it would not be wise to bring that up to Pearl. Not yet.

“I’m going on a date with Greg, though,” Rose said. “On Wednesday evening. That’ll be nice – I’ve not had enough time with him since school started again.”

She was acutely aware of all the places where she was touching Pearl. Their arms, their thighs. Rose wanted to kiss her again.

 

Pearl nearly missed out what Rose was saying, too lost in her touches. They made her skin jolt with static. But once she’d processed some of her words, her stomach felt tense. “Oh, yes.” She attempted to smile. “You have fun with him.” A part of her wondered if they had sex. Would it be any of her business to ask? Was that how poly things even worked? Oh, man. This was a lot more complex than her initial impression of this relationship. “Hey. It’s the careers fair soon!” Her mind thankfully came out with a distraction. “Oh, no. Blue’s going to be at school. And Aurora.”

 

Rose could tell that Pearl was distressed by the thought of Greg with Rose. But if Pearl didn’t ask about it, Rose wasn’t going to talk about it more – even though she probably should. But the speed at which Pearl changed the subject was indicative of how comfortable Pearl was with the whole thing.

“Aurora is always at school, though,” Rose said. “What’s Blue like? You don’t talk about her a lot.”

 

“You’ll know her when you see her. She and I don’t... get on. But she’s always sucking on Aurora’s a...arrogant opinion, you know?” Pearl rubbed the back of her neck, frowning as if she’d just tasted something gross. “I guess me and my family just don’t generally get along. While Aurora’s over emotional and will react to anything, Blue just… she doesn’t. You start to kind of realise that she makes up her reactions to manipulate you. And God, is she a _sadist_. She used to tear bug legs off in front of me when we were younger, just to freak me out.”

 

A deep frown on Rose’s face. That did sound like the kind of person who would not handle Pearl very well. And if she really was like Pearl described her…

It reminded her far too much of Roxy to be comfortable with it.

“Will she be staying at yours for the fair?” she asked.

 

“Actually, no!” Pearl clapped her hands. “She’s refused to come home since the New Year. I’m surprised, really. She’s mom’s favourite - she earns the most money from her games and stuff. But! She’s still going to be at school, and we’re required to attend the fair. That is her succesfully infiltrating my space. I don’t want Principal Diamond’s accommodations for me to just disappear. God, she’s done so much for me.”

 

“How could Blue do that?” Rose wondered aloud. Accommodations? What was Diamond doing – how was she manipulating Pearl? Rose’s suspicions grew by the minute, and if she was honest – if Blue could help in getting Pearl away from Diamond, then that was a chance she was willing to take.

 

“Oh, man. She left school seven years ago.” Pearl gritted her teeth. “You must’ve not been around to teach her. But I’m sure if you ask any of the resident teachers… they will have plenty of stories about Blue. They say she was born with an anarchy tattoo. If you go to the girl’s loos at one am, you’ll hear the trickles of the broken sinks sing of the rabbit incident. Or, like. Go to Leggy about that one, she was the one who caught Blue, and the rabbits.”

 

Rose gave a startled laugh. “That sounds like quite a story,” she said. “Care to elaborate?”

 

Pearl swallowed. “Well, it all started off with a set of fake ID’s and a sex shop.” And then took a sip of her coffee.

 

Rose checked the clock. They didn’t have much time left. “Go on,” she said.

 

“Okay, so. Blue and Aurora were both the biggest troublemakers the school had ever seen. Blue was the mastermind, Rori did the dirty work. And together, they made it into a sex shop. Bought like… seven rabbit vibrators and numbered each and every one of them, except for the seventh one, which was labelled as eight. And that’s when they decided to also go to the petshop. And they got seven rabbits.”

 

Rose listened, fascinated. She had not actually heard of this particular prank, despite being at the school for several years now. “Okay,” she said, encouraging Pearl to go on.

 

“So, Blue told me that this one time, she and Aurora got into a debate over the Principal’s religious stances and all that - I don’t believe she’s that bad. But Blue was utterly convinced that the Principal would freak out far more over there being a mass of sex toys in her school, while Aurora was totally siding with the rabbits, because, hey. Those were living rabbits. You can’t just have them running around the school.”

 

Rose smirked. To think that back in her school days, Aurora had plotted pranks against Diamond… Rose decided that Blue was probably not the greatest person, but she could appreciate her sense of humour.

“To be honest, I’d be with Blue on this one,” she said. “Carry on.”

 

“So, the point of the labelling shindig was to ensure that the Principal wouldn’t be able to find all of the toys. They’d think there were eight, but in reality, well, they missed out number seven.” Pearl shrugged. “So one morning, they came in, and let loose. It took them half an hour to get noticed. One hour, apparently, for the school senior leadership team to get involved. Mostly because kids were running around with sex toys and live animals. It took two hours for the general pandemonium to settle in. But, yeah, Blue won that one. Apparently Principal Diamond ended up screaming in frustration over a pile of vibrators.”

 

Rose chuckled. “I’m not surprised. Interesting. I can’t believe I never heard about this.” And Diamond had had it coming.

Although – maybe the way she was treating Aurora now was a form of payback for past pranks.

 

“I doubt that anyone really rose up against the Principal after Blue left school.” Pearl finished the coffee. “And a good thing, too. She does so much work for us. Even me. She doesn’t deserve anything bad. Honestly, I’d defend her to the ends of the earth.”

 

 

 

Rose’s smile dropped immediately.

“Pearl –“ she said, then fell silent. How, how could she warn Pearl about Marigold? If someone had warned Rose about Roxy years ago –

She probably would not have listened.

But Pearl and Marigold were in no relationship. God, at least Rose hoped so.

 

Pearl cocked her head Confused. "What's up?" she enquired, clearly interested by the look of worry on Rose's face.

 

Rose sighed.

"I'm just... worried," she said hesitantly. "Diamond is... bad news, always has been, whenever she gets fixated on a student. She might act nice, but chances are she has an ulterior motive, and chances are it's not as nice. Just... be careful, please. People have died. Literally." She shivered at the thought of Lars. "And I couldn't bear to have anything happen to you."

 

Pearl frowned. "I trust her, though. I mean... yeah. She says questionable things but..." She shrugged. "She's hot."

 

Rose stared at Pearl.

_She's hot? That's her justification for -_

Her thoughts were interrupted by her phone alarm going off, reminding her that it was time to leave.

"We need to go," she said. "Have you got everything?"

 

"I believe so!" Pearl beamed. "Oh, I can't wait!"

 

Rose smiled at Pearl's enthusiasm. "It should be good," she said. "Maybe you'll meet some interesting people and figure out what you'll do after school. I still think you'd make a great scientist."

 

Pearl only shrugged at this. "Maybe. At least going there would mean I'm close to Amy. I don't think I could cope with losing any more people." She looked away. "It would be nice if just for once, I could start gaining people back instead of losing everyone."

 

"Hm. Does Amy know what she wants to do yet?" Rose asked. "Is she going to stay in the area, then?" It was probably better to let Pearl focus on the friends she had now, rather than the ones she'd lost.

Rose stepped outside, wrapped in her coat, then cast a warm smile at Pearl and held out her hand to her.

 

Pearl took it, blushing. "I don't think she has said anything to me about plans. Then again, I don't think she really cares."

 

"Hmm." Rose frowned. "Maybe I should have taken her along. But then again -" She smiled at Pearl and squeezed Pearl's hand, interlacing their fingers. "I wanted this to be something for just you and me."

 

Pearl felt the corners of her mouth twitch into a smile. She brushed away her fringe and gave a small nod. "I hope it'll be spectacular. Though... any time with you always is."

 

This brought a warm, genuine, loving smile to Rose's face. Oh, she loved Pearl. She loved her. "I'm glad," she said and gave in to her impulse to pull Pearl close and kiss her.

 

 

Pearl smiled into the kiss. It never grew old, kissing her. It always excited her. Made her beam. Felt... good. She touched her teacher's hair. "You are so wonderful, you know."

 

Rose's heart fluttered. Her cheeks warmed.

"So are you, Pearl," she said gently. Stayed close to her for another long moment, touching Pearl's cheek, then squeezed her hand, smiling. "Come on - the train isn't going to wait for us."

 

Pearl nodded, the rush in her chest still present. But she realised it was a little calmer now. A little gentler. Pearl didn't love her any less. Rose had just began to feel like home.

 

The journey was uneventful; they found themselves at the university about an hour later. The open day was signposted and Rose held Pearl's hand as they navigated the campus.

"Anything in particular that you're interested in?" she asked Pearl.

 

Pearl gave a small shrug. "I didn't even think about going to uni before getting invested in biology. Let's just check that out."

 

"Sure!" Rose smiled, squeezed Pearl's hand and made her way to the Biosciences stalls. She remembered them from previous years; they were with the STEM fields in general, clustered around in the great hall dedicated to the fair. It was getting busy; they were by no means the first.

 

"Oh, goodness!! It's so exciting!" Pearl remarked, stepping out. "Just look at these projects, oh, I'd love to work on something like that. And they have extracurricular societies here, too? _Fencing?_ "

 

"Yes, indeed!" Rose said. "You'll have to be careful with your knee, but I'm sure you'll find something fun! Do you want to go up and talk to anyone?"

 

Pearl felt a flush come over her cheeks at the mention of her knee. "I'm, uh, sure there's some student representatives around here."

 

"Yeah!" Rose beamed. "They'll be able to tell you all sorts of things about the course! Look, here we are." The Biosciences stall was squeezed in between Chemistry and Engineering; several other students were crowded around it.

 

Pearl sheepishly followed suit, trailing behind the students. Holding onto Rose as if she was terrified to lose her. She wouldn't, of course. Or would she? She swallowed as Diamond's words briefly swam in her mind. Her gaze flickered over Rose's face - her teacher was completely unaware of her secret doubts. Perhaps it would be appropriate to bring them up. Be honest. But what if Rose would dump her over her fears? What if she... didn't think Pearl was poly enough because of her fear of being left behind. Pearl swallowed. Looking away. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. "I think I might actually take a look around myself."

 

"Really?" It came as a surprise to Rose. "I mean, sure, if you want," she said quickly. She hadn't expected Pearl to want to leave her side; she ignored the small pang of anxiety this gave her. Pearl would have given anything for her attention before. Had something changed?

"Well, you have my number, so you can just call me if you need anything," she said, smiling at Pearl, careful not to let her feelings show.

 

Oh. Oh. Rose wanted her to go, then? Pearl tightly scratched the insides of her fists. Her nails had recently been manicured. They weren't sharp. It meant she only needed to dig deeper with her blunt little claws. She forced a smile. "Alrighty! I'll see you later, Rose!" A chipper tone. The second she turned around she was shaking. The corners of her eyes were moist. A deep, unsettling pang was something she was now fighting to keep down. She loved Rose. Rose loved her. She was just being unnecessarily paranoid. It was fine. Or was it?

 

Incidentally, two of the student reps were Sapphire and her partner Ruby.

As Rose turned away from Pearl, Sapphire noticed her former classmate and nudged Ruby.

"What? What is it?" Ruby said, then spotted Pearl in the crowd. "Ooooh... look who it is!"

And before Sapphire could stop her, Ruby had called out for Pearl loudly.

 

 

A voice. A familiar voice bellowed through the crowd of students. Pearl turned to the mention of her name. She twisted on her heel, and her heart began to pound. Oh no. Oh. No. Not this. She remained frozen for a second too long, locking eyes with Ruby by accident. She then attempted to escape the scene, but realised the only ofther path contained Rose, and she really didn't feel like going back there. Or explaining what was happening. She forcibly turned around and faced the two.

 

 

"That... may have been a bad idea," Sapphire said softly.

"Oops." Ruby blushed.

Sapphire raised a hand to wave at Pearl and dragged Ruby behind her to meet her. "Hello, Pearl!" she said pleasantly. "Long time no see. How have you been?"

 

"Oh, much recovering from that time you deserted me!" Pearl gave a haughty giggle. "Goodbye!"

 

Sapphire was not as taken aback as she, perhaps, should have been. She'd seen it coming.

Ruby, on the other hand, was not so subtle.

"What do you mean, deserted you!" she said loudly.

"Keep your voice down," Sapphire warned.

"Oh. Yeah. But. Pearl, you just refused to talk to us after your accident. I wouldn't really call that us deserting you."

 

Pearl had turned to leave but then twisted on her heel. "Excuse me?" She added a few extra syllables to the question. "Every time I asked my parents if you'd come and visit me in hospital, they told me they hadn't seen jack shit of you. None of you answered my messages! I went through months trying to cope with losing you guys. Having my friends grow up and leave me behind for a year. You're awful. Both of you."

 

Sapphire squeezed Ruby's hand. Holding her back. Ruby would make this worse.

"You're overreacting, Pearl," she said calmly. "That said, we should have tried harder to keep in touch after leaving school. I really don't have an excuse for that. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I'm sorry too," Ruby said meekly, following her girlfriend's lead. "We'd love to be friends again, though!"

 

Pearl was a little taken aback. She'd anticipated more drama. Everything in her life had always been filled to the brim with it.

Then again, the psychiatrist at the hospital had told her that was a part of her personality disorder. "Truth be told," she muttered, holding her ground. "I missed being friends with you, too. I guess we should probably talk about what happened. But... this might not be the best place. I'm here with..." She turned to the direction of Rose. "My gal pal. To look at the uni. I might come here."

 

"You have a _girlfriend_??" Ruby grinned at Pearl. "Can we meet her? That's so cute! Our Pearl, a gay like us! And she's here? Where is she?"

Sapphire, on the other hand, was slightly less excited.

"I agree that we should talk about this," she told Pearl. "You are welcome to visit anytime you like. We have a very nice little flat not far from here."

 

"I don't have much planned after schools now that I don't do dance." Pearl gave a bitter look. Her stomach swam with butterflies. A strange sense of camaraderie in being able to come out to her old friends. "You. Um. Know her. I don't know if you're going to approve."

 

"Oh, of course." The accident. Sapphire felt a pang of regret. She really should have tried harder to keep in touch.

Ruby on the other hand was still very focussed on Pearl's girlfriend. "Oh, who is she? C'mon, Pearl, you gotta tell us!"

 

"You might see her around." Pearl swallowed. She suddenly felt very awkward. What if they thought it was problematic or wrong? It wasn't. It really wasn't. She balled her fists. "She's... from school."

 

"Oh? So why do you think we wouldn't approve?" Ruby said.

Meanwhile, Sapphire scanned the crowd. Sure enough, a few seconds later she'd spotted a familiar face.

She turned to Pearl.

"Are you dating _Rose Quartz_?" she asked, mild surprise colouring her voice.

 

Colour drained from her face. Pearl looked down. She struggled to answer. "It's... not what you think."

 

Sapphire didn't smile. "I'm fairly sure it is exactly what I think," she said, "but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Does anyone in the school know?"

 

"Just a girl from my year." Pearl shrugged. "She's kind of my only friend and I had to confide in someone. But... I'm nineteen. It's not exactly illegal. And I'm. So in love. You have no idea."

 

This time, Sapphire smiled. Ruby skipped to her side and curled her hand around Sapphire's.

"You always were a very intense person," Sapphire said. "Which again isn't necessarily a bad thing. Does she make you happy?"

 

"Very." Pearl nodded. "Though I feel she's trying to play it safe. I don't think we're really girlfriends yet. We're just... acquaintances with smooching benefits."

 

"That's probably for the best. You have a few months until you graduate."

"Hey, Sapphy," Ruby interjected, "do you think we should say hi to Miss Quartz? She's, like, one of the nice teachers from back then."

Sapphire considered this. "What do you think, Pearl?" she asked.

 

"I'm sure she'd be happy to see you doing so well!" Pearl nodded. Feeling a pang of jealousy of just how close Ruby and Sapphire were. "I'm sure she's going to come and get me soon, anyway. She's my ride home."

 

"Okay then, let's go!" Ruby said, tugging Sapphire along. "C'mon, Pearl! Hey, Miss Quartz!"

Rose turned around from looking at the biology stalls. Surprise was clearly etched on her face as she saw Ruby, Sapphire and Pearl coming towards her.

"Hello there!" she said. "Now here's a surprise! Ruby, Sapphire, how are you?"

 

Ruby beamed. "We're doing great! Uni's been way better than school, and I'm actually doing what I wanna do."

Pearl couldn't help but feel there was an innuendo in there somewhere. She could only shrug, still envious. "I haven't seen these two since last year. I didn't even know they went here."

 

"It's good to see you, Miss Quartz," Sapphire said. "How is the school?"

Rose shifted, rubbing the back of her neck. "Same as always, really," she said. Except that Diamond's homophobia had taken a turn for the more extreme.

She gave Pearl a warm smile and let her hand rest on the small of Pearl's back. Gentle; reassuring.

Sapphire didn't miss the motion, but said nothing.

 

Ruby, however, did. "So, what's Diamond's stance with you two, then?"

Pearl pursed her lips, eyes widening. She hadn't expected her relationship be brought up. Now Rose would think it was something she gossiped about!

 

Rose stared at Ruby. Then at Pearl. Then at Sapphire, who seemed completely unfazed.

Then at Pearl, again. She'd not talked to these two for almost a year but disclosed their relationship within... minutes of meeting them?

When she answered, Rose's voice was rather... cold. "I'd honestly prefer to keep mine and Pearl's... situation," she said, raising an eyebrow at Pearl, "as private as possible. For both our sakes."

 

Pearl gave an awkward laugh. "Yes. Um. These two were just telling me about the university opportunities. Right, Sapphire?" She spoke the last two words through her teeth.

 

"Oh, yes, absolutely," Sapphire said smoothly. "The university has a very wide range of different courses. What did you say you were interested in, Pearl?"

Rose didn't buy it, but she let it go. She'd have to talk to Pearl about it later.

"Should I leave you to catch up?" she asked. "Pearl, we still have a few hours 'til our train home, so I don't mind."

 

"Yeah, sure!" Pearl forced a smile, glaring at Ruby, who seemed to have caught the mood and now looked very sheepish.

 

"Okay then," Rose said pleasantly. "You can call me if you need me, okay? We could have lunch before we go home." Without Ruby and Sapphire, preferably. Not that Rose would ever, ever admit just how shaken she was by the entire situation.

Sapphire watched as Rose left, then sighed once she was out of earshot. "That... could have gone better."

 

Pearl stepped forth, annoyance spread over her features. "Ruby!" She hissed. "Do you really not know any discretion?"

"Okay. So I figured you wouldn't be loud and proud but geeze. She was touching you. I figured we could at least talk about it." Ruby gave an awkward shrug, apology nowhere to be heard in her voice.

Pearl could only scream into the empty air in front of her.

 

Sapphire kept her cool.

"A little more tact would have been appropriate, Ruby," she said gently. "Pearl, I apologise on my girlfriend's behalf. I hope Miss Quartz is okay."

 

"Probably a little shaken." Pearl swallowed. "I wonder why. It almost seemed like she had something to hide." She then shrugged, giving a mild little titter. "That's not like her at all. We've pretty much been at full disclosure."

 

"Well, you will have plenty of time to talk to her after this," Sapphire said.

"Yeah! I'm sure it's okay," Ruby said. She blushed a little. "Sorry, Pearl."

"So, do you want to go get a drink or something? It seems we have quite a bit of catching up to do." Sapphire gave a small smile.

 

"Yes." Pearl gave a little nod. Eager. "It's been ages. And it'll be healthy."

 

"Great!" Ruby beamed. "There's a really cool pub not far from here -"

"- though for some civilised talking, a cafe might be more appropriate," Sapphire cut in. "What do you think, Pearl? Have you eaten?"

 

Pearl swallowed. Eating with people still felt hard. They couldn't know. They shouldn't know. "Whatever you'd like! You know this area better than me."

 

Ruby shot a look at Sapphire, who immediately recognised it as Ruby trusting Sapphire's judgement on this.

"Cafe, then. There's one just around the corner, and they serve food too, if you're hungry. Shall we?"

 

"Yes, sure. Should I let her know? Or... do you think she'll get that I'm with you guys?"

 

"Text her to be sure," Sapphire decided. She slipped her hand into Ruby's as they started walking towards the cafe.

 

Pearl nodded, and eyed their closeness as they waddled out. Pangs of envy still hitting her hard. She couldn't do things like that with Rose yet. Not in public. Did... Rose not want to be seen with her in such a way? Pearl put her phone away after a quick text. She wrote 'I miss you' and then quickly deleted it. They weren't close enough for that.

Just how close were they, really?

 

On the narrow sidewalk, it ended up being Ruby and Sapphire walking in front with Pearl trailing behind. Sapphire and Ruby didn't need many words to communicate, so the walk was mostly silent.

After a few minutes, they arrived and found a table.

 

Pearl let the couple sit together, feeling her mood slowly begin to sink. "So. Uni life. Been going good? Many parties? Crazy drugs?"

 

"It's not nearly as crazy as people want you to believe," Sapphire said calmly.

"Well, at least if you're like Sapphy here and never do anything _fun_ ," Ruby added. "It can get pretty wild!"

"I do fun things," Sapphire said.

"Yeah, if you consider sleeping a lot and uttering ominous phrases 'fun'," Ruby said fondly, pecking her girlfriend's cheek.

 

"You two sure haven't changed a bit. Doesn't matter if it's a year or five thousand. I don't think you could ever change." Pearl gave an amused look, fiddling with the cutlery at the table.

 

"Well, we aim to impress," Sapphire said, smiling.

"And be the gayest in the land!" Ruby added with a grin.

"Anyway, Pearl, how have you been?"

 

"As good as I can be. Had an eventful Christmas. Took a little time off. Had some disagreements with family. But the principal is helping me deal with it!"

 

Ruby did a double take.

Sapphire didn't show her shock quite as obviously.

"Is this... the same Principal that was there a year ago?" she asked.

 

"Uh, yeah? Diamond? She's really good!"

 

Sapphire said nothing.

Ruby cast her an alarmed look, placed a hand on her arm.

"Pearl," she said, since Sapphire didn't seem to react, "you... do remember how she treated us when we were still at school, right?"

 

"Uh, yeah, but she doesn't know I'm gay!" Pearl bit her lip. "Or that I'm seeing a teacher."

 

Sapphire was still not moving. Ruby stared.

"That doesn't make her any less homophobic!" she said, her voice rising. "She's an asshole, Pearl! She's oppressive and awful and - and - Pearl, how can you say she's _good_ when you know what she's _done_?"

 

"Okay. I understand. And I'm sorry bad things happened to you. But I beg of you to consider this -" Pearl looked at both of them and then gave a little shrug. "She's kinda hot."

 

Sapphire finally shook her head lightly, as if coming out of a trance. "Pearl, that is not an adequate reason to get involved with someone so toxic," she said. "You should know that."

"Yeah, man, this is bad," Ruby said, "even for you."

 

"But she's helping me. She's got my sister off my back. And yeah, she's been grilling Rose a little but... she's got no proof. Of anything."

 

Ruby gaped. "Do - do you even _know_ how easily that can change?" she said, upset. "She could find out anytime - and if she does you're screwed!"

"Seriously, Pearl," Sapphire said. "You should be _far_ more worried about Diamond than your sister in this scenario."

 

"She's just been giving me some special attention. It's because... I was in hospital. And she wants me to settle in better. And she's offered to give me a special history lesson."

 

"You were in hospital again?" Sapphire said, grateful for the chance to change the subject. This was like running into a wall. She sighed internally; they weren't going to change Pearl's mind.

"Yeah, did you bust your leg again?" Ruby added.

 

Pearl looked around awkwardly. "Yeah. That's about it. Kind of landed me in there for a month. Not fun."

 

"A month is a long time to be in hospital for your leg," Sapphire observed.

Ruby shot her a look. There was something more going on here.

 

"Haha, yep! It sure was a long time. Missed Christmas with my family. That sucked."

 

"Hmm. Sorry to hear that." Sapphire pushed her hair out of her eyes, looked at Pearl. "You're better now, though?"

 

"I guess. You know me. One problem after another." Pearl shrugged. "But at this point I'll take any help I can get. Even if no one trusts them."

 

That told Sapphire all she needed to know. "Well, that's good then," she said.

"Except there's probably a reason for why no one trusts Diamond," Ruby said.

"But anyway," Sapphire said quickly, not wanting to start that again. "Do you want to talk more about what happened last year?"

 

Pearl shifted a little. An uneasy look spread over her features. "I suppose. It's just upsetting to think about."

 

"I'm sorry about that," Sapphire said. "Truly, I am. But I feel many things were left unsaid, and it would benefit all of us if we could actually talk about it openly now. But if you don't want to, that's okay too. We won't judge you."

 

"I felt that you guys, all of you, just deserted me after I couldn't dance anymore. None of you visited me in hospital!"

 

"I know it's not really an excuse," Sapphire said, "but we were busy. Finals and deadlines and - and other things..." She cast a look at Ruby. "But please be assured that we never actively deserted you. I just had a lot of things on my mind at the time."

 

"That doesn't change the way I felt about the whole thing. When I suggested my own dance instead of the group one, you didn't support me at all. It just felt really bitter and when the accident happened I was so scared of you all laughing at me."

 

"Well, it was supposed to be a group dance, wasn't it? And everyone already knew you were the best dancer there, so a lot of people felt like you were just shoving that into everyone's faces," Ruby said, a little awkward. "But we all felt really sorry when you had that accident."

 

"Exactly, though. There was a talent scout there. I could've gone far from that night on. But I'm here." Pearl realised she'd began to shake a little. "It's okay, though. I'm making it. And I probably wouldn't have gotten together with Rose if I'd left."

 

"It's good that you're thinking positively," Sapphire said. "I understand that you really wanted to shine that night, but we wanted it to be something for everyone. I'm sorry you took it personally, it wasn't intended that way."

 

Pearl sighed. "I guess it was selfish. But it still fucked me up. I already struggle with feeling hated so actually being hated... was bad."

 

"Nobody there hated you, Pearl," Sapphire said gently. "And I knew most of them reasonably well."

"Yeah! I mean it's not like being selfish is gonna make everyone hate you," Ruby added. "Loads of people are selfish all the time! We didn't hate you and we don't hate you now! We can still be your friends."

"If you want us to," Sapphire said.

 

Pearl sighed in a manner that could only be described as uttermost relief. "Yeah. I'd like that a lot."

 

"Good! You should come visit again," Ruby said. "We have to run off in a bit again, be student reps at the open day - but we should totally meet again and catch up more!"

Sapphire nodded.

 

Pearl smiled. Yes. This felt right. "Of course. Shoot me a message whenever you're free."

 

"We most certainly will," Sapphire said. "It's been good to see you, Pearl."

 

Pearl gave a nod. "You two, too." She watched them leave. Ease setting in her belly over the relief of their exchange - and the fact that she didn't need to eat.

 

Meanwhile, Rose had grown uneasy as time passed - she didn't really want to be here without Pearl, and she hadn't heard anything from her.

So she texted her, 'Do you know how much longer you'll be? I miss you. RQ xxx'

 

Pearl saw the text immediately and gathered herself up. 'Just a sec. Just got done. Brb xx'

On her way back, she passed through some stalls clearing up. She realised she'd spent the day here but still hadn't found anything she wanted to do. Well. Except Rose. But that much was obvious.

An engineering stall of all things, now deserted and with a somewhat desperate looking rep, caught her eye. The projects looked interesting. The skills needed were hers.

She took a leaflet with a smile as she found her way back.

 

 

 

 


	40. Act V - Chapter VII: Intrigue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for manipulation and threats.

 

_The most mysterious out of the four women who now regularly met for Bridge club was certainly the one sitting opposite Marigold._

_Her face was often partially hidden. She wore a blue headscarf – always blue; different shades of blue, light blue, sky blue, royal blue. Patterned, sometimes. But never a colour other than blue._

_She spoke with eloquence, and never too much. She never drank alcohol._

_“Isn’t it against your religion to gamble with money, Azure?” Claire had asked her on one occasion._

_Azure Almas had shrugged._

_“This sort of money is not something I’ll lose sleep over,” she said calmly._

_Marigold Diamond, whose own earnings as a trainee teacher were rather limited, could only stare at Azure._

_ _

_It would be many, many months until Marigold found the courage to talk to Azure directly._

  
\--

 

Rose Quartz was doing most of the preparations for the careers fair, so Marigold Diamond didn't concern herself with it too much.

Except for one thing.

It was Friday afternoon, and Marigold knew that most normal people would have left their offices by now.

Azure wasn't most normal people.

Marigold still had the phone number memorised. Still felt her heart beating loudly whenever she did this. She hadn't talked to Azure in almost precisely a year. This, and only this, was what she had left from _back then_.

There was a reason for that.

Marigold sighed, then reached out for the telephone. Put in the number. Muscle memory, even now.

The familiar tone echoed in her ears as she was being connected.

 

 

Azure had finished a mountain of paperwork as a crunch for the weekend. She found her old mobile ringing (at work, she carried three) and with a quick glance at the date, knew exactly the culprit. Marigold Diamond had always been an odd one. She often thought that if they spoke more, they'd possibly be friends.

Though, ever since she'd grown to be such a successful principal, Azure had reserved a little respect for her.

"Good evening, Marigold. How can I help?" Her voice was cool, smooth. Years of conversations meant she'd learnt that with Marigold, one simply had to take dominance from her. Fight it, tooth and nail, and Marigold would either grow enraged at insubordination or bend down a little to her resolve.

Azure silently prayed today she'd have opportunity for the latter.

 

Her blood rushed in her ears. Memories plagueing her mind.

"Azure, how good to hear your voice. How have you been?" A conversation with Azure was almost like a fight, a dance, a perfectly rehearsed choreography. Marigold felt her heart beating loudly.

 

"Successful as usual, my dear," Azure purred, "I've just appointed a new CEO and might be taking some leave next year. We should most certainly meet. Now. Again, how may I help you?"

 

"A new CEO, you say?" Marigold said smoothly. "Well, I do hope he or she is up to the task! Could anyone ever truly replace you?" Thinking of one of Azure's employees would be running the company felt a little strange to her. It was Azure's company, her accomplishment. Nobody else would be quite the same.

 

"Oh, she's spectacular. Reminds me of you, ravishing, powerful… _ruthless_." Azure smirked a little. "You'll meet her at the careers fair. I am, as it's pretty obvious, quite taken by her."

 

"Still playing your old games, then, I see?" Marigold said. "So who is she? Do I know her?"

 

"Oh, you may! She used to go to your school. Said she had a lot of fun with her sister there." She tapped a pen on her desk. "The name Aurora sound familiar at all?"

 

 

 

_Oh._

Aurora had mentioned that her sister worked in a games company. Marigold had never asked about the details.

"I've heard of her," she said smoothly. "You're still going after the young ones, then."

_It's not like I'm any better._

She allowed the thought for half a second, then viciously pushed it aside.

 

"What can I say?" Azure wasn't about to let anyone make her feel ashamed. Her voice grew a little more husky. Challenging. "I can't help enjoying the taste of fresh berries. Unlike you, it seems. Still got any of your usual brew around?"

 

"I quit," Marigold said. "For good this time." Being drunk would be really nice sometimes. Most of the time. Marigold saw it as a personal challenge. And she _never_ lost a challenge.

 

"Oh, my, back with the church programme, I see. How's that going, dear?"

 

"I was never _not_ with the church programme. Pay attention, will you?" Her religion was a sore point. Marigold hated and admired Azure for the way her religion just seemed to come naturally to her, while Marigold herself struggled so much.

 

"Now, now, Miss Diamond. Let's not get all agitated. It's been a while since I've seen you. You know people nowadays, enjoying new things. I didn't want to presume." Azure could feel Marigold's anger bubbling away and secretly loved it. "How long have you been sober for?"

 

"Since before Christmas." All Marigold had were flashes of memory. Unanswered texts to Aurora. Coldness staring her in the face every time she left her office. Marigold still had no clear answer as to what had driven Aurora away.

 

"Oh! Any prompting to that?" Azure’s tone was sweet, comforting. Genuinely curious. But still more powerful. She needed to get Mari to bend over, or the fair would be hell.

 

"Not that it's any of your business, but I had medical concerns." A flat out lie; one that nobody would be able to pick up on. Except perhaps Azure.

 

Oh, and Azure could tell right away. Yes. This would be a way to get Marigold to bend down to submission. If she felt like lying, Azure could play her. "Oh, that's so terrible! I'm very sorry to hear it - you should've let me know, I would have visited you to wish you well. Oh, I could get you with my private medical team, I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I chipped in. Quite expensive, this whole self preservation business, isn't it?"

 

"I have enough to provide for myself, thank you." The last thing Marigold wanted was Azure's _pity_. Azure pitied the people she saw as beneath her.

 

"The offer will always be on the table. And with your liver, I really wouldn't be surprised, my dear."

 

A trap. One Marigold knew to avoid. "Hence why I quit."

 

"Mm. I see. That's fair. Forgive me for caring about you, you know I still do." Not a lie. Azure’s tone was warmer. "So. Careers fair. I am still invited, right?"

 

Marigold's heart did a little flip-flop when Azure said she still cared about her.

"Yes, that's why I called. I was going to give you the exact dates and the arrangement so you can prepare."

 

"Oh yes, of course. Always good at that, aren't you?" She gave Marigold a little praise and fetched her other phone to find the calendar app. "Go on then, tell me."

 

"It's in March, just before Easter." It always was. "The sixteenth. It goes on the entire day, starting at nine. You can set up from eight."

 

"As usual, then." Azure smiled. "I have you down. Is there anything else?"

 

"Hmm. Heard anything from Roxy lately?" Azure wouldn't have. Marigold hadn't. Roxy had vanished years ago.

 

"Nothing whatsoever." Azure frowned. "None on your end, then?"

 

"Not for years." Marigold showed no emotion. "Has she ever done this before?" Azure had known Roxy longer than Marigold.

 

Azure gritted her teeth, losing herself a little in the sudden upset. "No. She never did this before."

 

"Calm down, Azure, she might still come back." Unlikely by this point. Roxy could be dead for all they knew. But getting upset wouldn't solve anything.

 

"I'm fine." Not this again. Marigold knew she needed time when it came to losing people. "I just miss her."

 

"I see. I can hang up if you need some time alone." It was almost taunting.

 

Azure nearly gasped. The indignity. "No, no. I'll be alright."

 

"If you're sure." Marigold sighed. "I miss her too, you know."

 

"Sure," Azure said. They'd all been there at one point. Closer.

Azure hid her eye bags under her hands before realising no one was watching. "I'll be calling you about things for the fair."

 

"Good. I'll speak to you soon, Azure." A pang of regret was pushed aside. Marigold knew that associating with Azure more again would be dangerous. She kept it to a comfortable once a year, even though a very large part of her wanted that life back.

But, like with the alcohol, she needed to stay strong.

 

Azure hung up. She cast her expression down and sighed. This wasn't good. Marigold couldn't see her be sad at all; if she did, it would make interactions… difficult.

 

The line clicked, and Marigold let out a deep breath. It almost sounded like a sigh.

Her heart was still beating fast. It would only be a few weeks until she would see Azure again.

 

\--

 

This time, Lapis had asked Jasper before bringing Peridot home. Jasper, clearly remembering what happened last time Peridot had visited, had easily agreed.

So here they were on their way again.

"How was your day, Peri?" Lapis asked her companion.

 

 

"Oh! It was alright. Everyone's getting kind of excited about that careers fair - they're actually starting to care about their grades, too!"

 

"That's good!" Lapis had heard who would be at the fair - yet again. "I'll be taking that day off. They don't particularly need me at the fair and there aren't any lessons."

 

"Oh!" Peridot gave a little frown. "You don't do an English stall?"

 

"They'll have people from outside coming in. Publishers, writers, the lot. They don't need me. What am I even gonna tell them - how to fuck up your life so bad that you have to become a teacher because it's literally the only thing you can do?" She shrugged. "Oh, here we are," she then said, getting out her keys to unlock the door.

 

Peridot gave her a look, but couldn't quite summon the words to respond with. She only placed her hand on Lapis' back and quietly mumbled, "Being a teacher ain't so bad. I got you guys."

 

 

Lapis didn't show her surprise. It was rare that Peridot initiated touch, but this wasn't the first time it had happened. Their lunches together seemed to have made Peridot trust Lapis.

Instead, she just smiled. "I'm glad you see it that way. Are you looking forward to seeing Malachite again? She's missed you!"

 

"Oh, most certainly! I'd love to touch her again. She's just so cool! I asked my mom if we could get one and she only said yeah to guppies." Peridot then took out her phone and showed a tank with two little freshwater fish. "That one is Clod. And the other one is Robonoid. I most certainly did not name them."

 

 

"Aww. Cute! But Malachite's better." Lapis opened the door carefully. "A-ha!" Malachite had betrayed herself, and Lapis quickly caught her before she could run outside. "Little bugger," she said fondly. "Come in, come in."

She was still holding Malachite and was about to close the door when she suddenly remembered something. "Oh, damn."

 

Peridot eagerly bounced in, looking at the lizard with wide eyed curiosity. "The big, pretty girl is here. Hello!"

 

"Yes. Can you hold her?" Lapis didn't wait for an answer before thrusting Malachite at Peridot. "Jasper?" she called.

"Yeah?" came the reply from the living room.

"Ah, good, you're here. Um." She turned to Peridot. "Awkward situation. I forgot my laptop at school, and I kind of really need it do do work over the weekend. So I need to go back."

 

Peridot gave a sad look to Malachite. "That's not good. I can come with you if you want?"

 

Lapis considered it for only a moment, but then sighed. "No, it's okay, I'll probably get there faster by myself. No offense." She hesitated, then grabbed Peridot's wrist and pulled her into the living room.

"Jasper," she said, "I've gotta go back to the school to get my laptop. You be nice to Peri, yeah? Don't hurt her. You'll regret it."

Jasper nodded. She was very calm. "I won't, Lapis. Come back soon."

 

Peridot seemed oddly alright about the arrangement. "That's okay! Now I get to hang out with two cute girls. Isn't that right, Malachite?"

 

Jasper raised an eyebrow at Peridot.

"But the other cute girl is just leaving," she pointed out, looking at Lapis.

Lapis rolled her eyes. "Don't get up to anything silly while I'm gone." And then the door fell shut behind her and Jasper was alone with Peridot.

"You can set her down," Jasper said, nodding towards Malachite. "She doesn't like being held for too long."

 

Peridot blinked, "Oh! I didn't know that. Sorry, you go and run now!" She watched Malachite scamper under the table and gave Jasper a bright beam. "Wow, thanks! I wouldn't have wanted her to be upset."

 

"That's alright." Jasper was watching Peridot closely. Lapis wasn't here. What... exactly did Lapis expect them to do?

"Do you, um. Want something to drink?" she offered clumsily.

 

"Oh, sure!" Peridot nodded as she tore her gaze from the lizard and looked at Jasper. "I don't mind! I'll have whatever you're having."

 

"Okay then!" That was simple. Jasper got up and opened the fridge to pull out two beers. "This okay?" she asked, holding it out for Peridot.

 

 

Peridot cocked her head. She didn't really drink. At all. Ever. "Uh. Haven't had that one before, but sure! I trust you!"

 

Jasper cocked her head. Had Peridot really never had beer before? Oh well - there was no real reason not to let her try it. At the very least, it would be funny. Jasper opened hers. "Cheers," she said before taking a large gulp.

 

Peridot seemed delighted at Jasper's new kindness and took a sip before her face knitted into a deep frown. She looked at the bottle. Then at Jasper. Then at the bottle. Then at Jasper's half empty bottle.

 

 

Jasper watched.

"Don't you like it?" she asked when Peridot frowned. "It's okay, I can get you something else."

 

"It's... the worst thing I've ever had. Why would you consume this... odd... bread flavored carbonate?" Peridot slid it back. "I'm in awe of your talent. And iron stomach."

 

Jasper gave a deep rumble of a chuckle and picked up Peridot's beer. "It's an acquired taste," she admitted. "We have some juice as well, if you'd like."

 

"That seems much more pleasurable." Peridot gave a tiny nod, utterly unaware of any innuendo.

 

Jasper narrowed her eyes.

Peridot didn't seem to mean anything of it.

Jasper gave an odd little smile. "You know, sometimes I can actually see why Lapis likes you so much."

 

Peridot tilted her head. "Oh yeah, she said she did. I like her a lot, too. Ever since you had that word with her, she's been very kind. It's so nice of you guys to have me back again."

 

Jasper opened the fridge.

"Hmm, we have... orange juice, apple juice... coke. Tap water, I guess." She cast a look at Peridot.

Endearing, she was.

 

"What kind of apple juice?" She peeped over. "Are the apples on the carton green? Because that's the only kind of apple juice I like. "

 

Indeed, they were. Jasper took the carton out and got a glass for Peridot.

"You have a thing about colours, eh?" she asked matter-of-factly when she passed the glass to Peridot.

 

"Colours. Textures. Smells." Peridot shrugged. "That's human, isn't it?"

 

"It's normal to have preferences," Jasper said. "But people don't tend to colour-code their food." She sat down, next to Peridot this time rather than on the other sofa. "But hey, people are different. Nothing wrong with different." She should know; after all, she was different from the norm in so many ways.

 

Peridot looked at her with wide eyes. "You think... it's okay?"

 

"Being different?" Jasper laughed. "Have you _seen_ me? I'd have to hate myself if I didn't think it was okay. Not that I don't."

 

"But you're... just fine! You're not like me. I'm... You wouldn't get it." Peridot sighed, but then offered Jasper a smile. "Thanks, though. You're really kind, too, Jasper!"

 

Jasper sighed. It stung.

But yeah. She wouldn't get it.

"I try." She didn't look at Peridot.

 

Peridot's foot accidentally brushed against Jasper's as she sipped. "I don't think someone like you would need to try hard to be nice. You seem like a good person."

 

Jasper jumped at the sudden contact.

She dug her hands into her hair.

_Not now. Fuck. Not now._

Lapis wasn't here. Lapis wasn't here.

"Y- yeah." She didn't even really register what Peridot had said.

 

Peridot noticed right away and furrowed her brow. "Oh, I'm sorry! I don't like some touches, either. I can get you some water! That helps me with sensory overload."

 

"O- oh. Sure." Jasper had trimmed her nails only a few days ago; she regretted it now. She had to work so much harder to feel pain. Pain grounded her. Calmed her.

Her breathing was harsh, laboured. Heart beating loudly. _Not now, please, not now._

 

"Oh. Oh, here. Come with me. I don't want to just leave you here. Unless you can't move." Peridot did something Lapis seldom did. Her voice was quiet. Calm. Sensitive. Smooth and cool enough to be level. She outstretched her hand.

 

Jasper's body expected Lapis.

Instead, she got soft words. No touches.

And - it didn't get worse.

Jasper closed her eyes. Tried to breathe. Loosened her fingers a little.

 

Peridot gave a tiny smile. "See. It's okay. Everything's okay. Nothing to be scared of, alright? Would you like me to sit back down?"

 

Yes. Yes. The panic subsided. Jasper found that she could breathe.

She nodded.

 

Peridot gently sat beside her. Her size meant that she barely moved the couch. "Is there... anything I can do to help you, Jasper? I would like to help."

 

Peridot. It was Peridot. Lapis wasn't here.

Jasper breathed.

"I'll... be fine," she said softly. Miraculously.

 

"May I touch you?"

 

"That... would actually be appreciated," Jasper said.

Lapis had never asked.

 

Peridot softly curled her arms around her. "That frightened me. A lot. Are you sure you're going to be alright?" She smelt of apples and mint. It must've been her shampoo.

 

"Yeah. Sorry. It kind of... happens all the time." Jasper let her hands drop. Opened her eyes. No blood. No pain. "How... how did you do that?"

 

Peridot gave a little titter. "Whaddaya mean?"

 

Jasper narrowed her eyes. Did she... really not realise what she'd just done?

"It's almost impossible to get me out of an attack this quickly," she said. "I didn't even hurt myself. Lapis can't do it and she knows me better than anyone."

 

"I get it a lot. It's just about giving your head some time to realise that everything's alright. She doesn't do that?"

 

"She... has her ways. Lets me ride it out." Jasper shook her head quickly, almost like a shiver. "I... uh. Sorry you had to see that."

She looked at Peridot, who was still hugging her.

Cautiously, she hugged back.

 

Peridot smiled into the hug, as if she'd barely received contact in a while. "It's okay. Like I said. I get it. You even caught me during one."

 

"Really?" Jasper tried to think. Huh. "In... the bathroom that one time?"

 

"Yeah. Lapis called me 'special'. I... don't have a lot of good connotations with that word."

 

"Oh." That was... absolutely understandable. "You should tell her. Or I could, I don't mind. She doesn't _want_ to hurt you, you know."

 

"She hasn't, since you spoke to her. Like I said, I like her a lot now!" Peridot then shrugged. "But I appreciate it, too. You're pretty cool, yanno."

 

Jasper huffed. "You just don't know me well enough." She was sure if anyone was to ask Lapis, the last word Lapis would use to describe her would be 'cool'.

 

"But you're actually in a relationship and you have things in check. It's a lot cooler than living with your mom or still being a... well, Virgin for anything. "

 

A smile. "Lapis told me you'd never kissed someone. Guess that's actually true, then?"

 

Peridot looked down, shameful. "I've been told anime makes it look much more exciting than it actually is."

 

Jasper laughed.

She couldn't help it. Peridot was so _cute_.

Okay, no, she could definitely see why Lapis liked her so much.

And because her brain was still slightly messy from her panic attack and because Peridot had still not stopped hugging her and Jasper had stopped having any kind of filter for what was appropriate or not, she asked, "Do you wanna find out?"

 

The blink was almost childlike. "Well, duh!"

 

"Okay."

She was probably going too far.

She didn't care.

Gentle fingers tilted Peridot's chin up at her. Jasper leaned in. Hesitated, just so Peridot could pull away if she wanted to.

 

Peridot's eyes widened. Oh. She hadn't expected Jasper to offer one at all. It had been entirely hypothetical. But she didn't pull away. She let herself taste Jasper.

Even if Jasper wasn't green.

 

 

A soft smile.

Jasper kissed Peridot gently, briefly, then pulled away.

 

Peridot's face was bright red.

"So that's that, then." She licked her lips and looked up into Jasper's cat-like eyes. "Wow. Thanks."

 

Jasper chuckled.

"You're welcome."

She looked up when she heard the door being unlocked.

 

Peridot suddenly snapped back into reality. "You're... in a relationship. That was cheating."

 

Jasper shrugged.

Lapis let the door fall shut behind her. "Jasper? Peridot? You both still alive?"

 

Peridot's face turned into the deepest blush and she attempted to scramble away from Jasper's arms.

 

 

"Hey, it's okay." Jasper loosened her arms, but gave Peridot the option to stay anyway.

Lapis came into the living room and saw them, still suspiciously close.

She narrowed her eyes.

"What... have you two been up to?" she asked.

Jasper flashed her a smile. "Well, I didn't hurt her," she said.

 

"Lapis, oh my stars, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I shouldn't have done that!" But Peridot didn't leave those arms. She couldn't.

 

"Done... what?"

Lapis looked at Peridot. Then at Jasper.

"Jasper, what did you do?" A flash of threat in her eyes. Jasper would recognise it. Peridot wouldn't.

Jasper tensed up.

"Uh," she said. "Cuddle?"

 

Peridot was an awful liar. "Yep. We did. Absolutely nothing. That was. Uh. Something cosmically new for me. Nope."

 

Lapis saw through her immediately, and the guilty look on Jasper's face was confirmation enough.

"I can explain," Jasper said quickly.

Lapis stared her down.

"Okay then," she said. "Explain."

Jasper swallowed nervously.

"I had a panic attack," she said. "Peridot got me out of it. It was... it was crazy. I didn't even hurt myself. I -"

She saw Lapis's face and fell silent.

"Liar," Lapis said.

 

"It's true. Okay. We kissed but it was only because I told Jasper that I didn't know what it was like and she asked me if I wanted to know what it was like and I was like... yeah, of course I do but then we started doing it and wow your girlfriend kisses really good, nice catch, but the rest of it is true!"

 

"No, no," Lapis said. "She lied about having a panic attack. You're not even bleeding, Jasper. You should know better than to lie to me."

"No, I-"

There was no point. Jasper sighed and looked down.

 

"I... I helped her, though." Peridot's voice began to warble. It was as if she was internalising Lapis' anger at Jasper.

 

Lapis's gaze was fixed on Jasper. A million thoughts running through her head at lightning speed.

"She did, Lapis," Jasper said softly. "If you don't believe me, can you at least believe her?"

"You..." Lapis stopped, scoffed. "You manipulated her into lying to me."

Jasper laughed out loud despite the tension. Just from the sheer absurdity of Lapis's accusation. "You know I'm shit at manipulating. Peri is shit at lying. That's the stupidest thing you've ever said. And here I thought you were smart."

Lapis's eyes narrowed.

"Peridot," she said, eyes still on Jasper. "Can you give us a moment alone?"

 

Peridot gave a firm squeeze to Jasper and then sighed. "Sure. Lemme know when it's okay to come back."

 

Jasper avoided Lapis's eyes until Peridot was gone.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

 

Lapis sniffed, her face projected a scowl terrifying enough to shake an ocean backwards. "Go into the bedroom."

 

For a long moment, Jasper thought about resisting. Challenging Lapis.

But she remembered too well what had happened last time she'd angered Lapis. Better not make it worse.

Without a word, she got up and did as Lapis said.

 

Lapis gripped the set of keys in her pocket, her knuckles white and fist shaking. As she followed her into the bedroom she said only one, cold word. "Strip."

 

"Lapis..."

Resistance, Jasper knew, was futile. Reluctantly, she took off her top.

 

Lapis cold only glare with disgust. "Shut up." She grabbed the chains at the bed. They wouldn't hold Jasper down forever. But they'd teach her a lesson. "I thought we agreed. Your terms. You were mine and I was yours. Are you so dense you forgot your own agreement?"

 

Jasper looked down. Hair fell into her eyes. "I had a panic attack," she said softly. "She was there. She calmed me down. You... you know how I get after panic attacks."

 

"That's bullshit. If you'd had a panic attack, it wouldn't be possible for me to communicate with you right now. You turn fucking crazy."

 

Jasper looked up. Met Lapis's eyes.

The chains held her back. Jasper knew she could break out of them if she wanted to. She struggled.

"She calmed me down," she said. "She caught me right as it was coming and calmed me down. She's better at it than you!"

 

Lapis only managed to catch herself an inch away from Jasper's face before she'd made contact. "Don't you ever say that again," she hissed. She then backed out. "Stay here. Don't make noise or I'll be back to gag you. I need to deal with _my_ guest."

 

Jasper hissed, but stayed silent. Struggled. Lapis had about five minutes before Jasper would be out.

Lapis knew this. She closed the door behind her. "Peridot?"

 

Peridot was hiding in the bathroom. Hands under a cold tap as she counted her breaths. She heard Lapis and found herself not yet ready to move. "I'm here!"

 

The bathroom. "Are you okay?"

 

"Just cooling off! Be right... I'll be right there." Her voice dropped off lamely as she dried her hands.

 

"Alright. I'll be in the living room."

She sighed heavily. Decided to check on Jasper, quickly. Said nothing as she tightened the chains. She needed more time.

When she finally took a seat on the sofa in the living room, Malachite scampered up to her. Lapis picked her up.

"Looks like you're just about the only one I can depend on around here, hm?"

Malachite stuck out her tongue.

 

Peridot soon returned, looking tearful. Her face was pale. "Lapis. I'm so, so sorry. I honestly never meant it to happen. I barely knew what was going on. I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me for that."

 

Lapis looked up. Her expression softened.

She put Malachite down. "Come here," she said. "It's not your fault, and I'm not angry at you. Jasper violated an agreement we had. I don't blame you."

 

Peridot seemed taken aback by the calm. She smiled at it and eagerly bounced over. "You really don't? Oh, that's so good. I was so worried you'd hate me and was getting ready to pack my bags and move my mom to like Japan or something so that I can teach physics there instead of facing you."

 

Lapis laughed. "No, no," she said. "Can you tell me what happened, though?" Just so she knew just _how much_ she needed to punish Jasper.

 

"She asked me if I wanted to kiss and I misunderstood. I just thought it was hypothetical. She seemed to be a little off, too. I got so worried."

 

"She didn't _actually_ have a panic attack, right?" Lapis asked. There was no way.

 

"I don't know. I guess so? No one would just pretend... would they?"

 

Lapis frowned. "It doesn't make sense," she said. "She didn't even like you that much."

 

"We cuddled, though. And she was really nice to me. Gave me a beer, too. It wasn't very nice."

 

None of it made sense. None of it.

"I'm really sorry, Peridot," Lapis said. "This must all be so weird for you."

 

"I liked it!" Peridot gave a smile. "It felt nice. But I'm sorry if it hurt you. Where is Jasper, anyway?"

 

"Timeout," Lapis said without missing a beat. "She should be back here in, ah... two minutes? Give or take."

 

"Oh. I guess that's... wait, why did you punish her? It's my fault, too. You should be angry at me!"

 

"She broke the rules. Not you."

 

"Oh." Peridot frowned. "I suppose. I'm still sorry."

 

Lapis shrugged. "Apology accepted, I guess. I'm gonna get Jasper. Be right back."

She got up and made her way to the bedroom.

 

Peridot watched her leave and picked Malachite up. The second she was sure Lapis had left, she pressed her lips at its scaly forehead. So. That was kissing.

 

Jasper had almost gotten out of her shackles.

Lapis didn't help her, just watched as she struggled.

"Can you tell me what the _fuck_ is going on in your primitive brain?" she challenged. "First you hate Peridot, then you manipulate her into kissing you by faking a panic attack? What the fuck, Jasper?"

Jasper avoided Lapis's eyes. "I didn't fake anything," she said. "Or manipulate - she's - she's cute, is all."

Lapis rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever. But you'll pay for this later. You can come back through now."

Jasper managed to get out of the chains. She rubbed her wrists.

"Was that _really_ necessary?" she complained.

"Shut _up_."

Lapis didn't wait for her before returning to the living room.

 

Peridot looked up from the iguana. "Hello, again. I'm still in total admiration of this small beauty."

 

"As you should be." Lapis smiled warmly. "Well, now that Jasper's made all of this sufficiently awkward, should we actually... do something? You wanted to learn how to cook, right?"

Jasper shuffled into the room after Lapis, looking suitably chastised. She wouldn't meet Peridot's eyes.

 

"Yes! I'd love to learn." Peridot beamed. "Oh, hey again, Jasper. Back from doin' time?" She attempted at a faux cool finger gun.

 

Jasper looked like she'd been slapped.

"Yeah, I'm... gonna go back to the bedroom," she said. "Bye."

 

"Oh." Peridot frowned. "See you around!"

 

"Come back, Jasper," Lapis said, oddly gentle. "This isn't something you should run away from."

Jasper's eyes flashed. She reached out and grabbed Lapis's arm in a crushing grip.

"And what do _you_ know!" she snapped. "You're thinking I manipulated her! You don't even _believe me_ when I tell you I had a panic attack!"

"Jasper," Lapis said, her voice carefully controlled, but laced with fear. "Let go of me. Now."

Jasper didn't loosen her grip.

 

"Guys. Please, stop it!" Peridot had finally had enough. "Who cares if she did or didn't? She's okay. That's all that matters."

 

Jasper froze. Lapis turned to Peridot.

Jasper's hands fell to her side, limp.

"Sorry," she muttered.

"So," Lapis said to Peridot without reacting to Jasper's words, "what do you suggest we do to fix this?"

 

 

"I... I guess..." Peridot swallowed. "Let's take it methodically. The issue is that we kissed, yeah?"

 

"Yes," said Jasper.

Lapis shot her a look.

"It's a bit more complicated than that," she said.

 

"Then maybe elaborate?" Peridot suggested, kindly. "So we're all on the same page."

 

"We kind of... had an argument a few weeks ago," Lapis said. "And came to an agreement. Jasper, you remember what it is, don't you? Why don't you tell her."

Jasper sighed heavily.

"I'm all yours," she said. "You're all mine."

"And do tell, who was it that wanted that sort of rule in the first place?" Lapis said.

Jasper swallowed.

"I did."

 

Peridot thought for a moment before turning to Jasper. "Why did you kiss me? Just because I wondered what it was like?"

 

Jasper didn't like finding herself under such scrutiny. She looked away.

"Answer her," Lapis said.

Jasper let out a heavy breath.

"I don't know. I wanted to."

 

"Despite the contradiction... Hm..." Peridot went back into thinking. "Thank you for being honest. Lapis. How do you want to move on?"

 

With Peridot guiding the conversation, Jasper found that her breathing remained even. Anger didn't bubble up quite as quickly. She didn't want to hurt Lapis quite as much.

Lapis noticed as well. A quick look from Peridot to Jasper, then back to Peridot.

She considered Peridot's question.

"I'm willing to let it slide," she said. "Under one condition."

 

"And that is....?"

 

"I get to kiss you too." A devilish grin.

A little more cautiously, she added, "If you're okay with that, of course."

 

Peridot spluttered a surprised cough. That was the last thing she'd expected. "What?" After... all this? "I mean, sure, I'd be okay with that, but... what?"

 

Jasper looked up.

Lapis shot her a glance.

"She violated the agreement," she told Peridot. "So I get to do the same. Isn't that right, Jasper?"

"Y...yeah." Jasper nodded hesitantly. "It's only fair."

 

"If it'll fix things." Peridot looked nervous. "Golly. No kisses for twenty six years and then boom! Two people in one day. Nice one for Peridot."

 

"It's kind of how we do things," Jasper said.

"Yeah," Lapis agreed. "Remember how I told you this wasn't exactly a normal relationship? But anyway. Jasper?"

Jasper pouted. "I don't get to watch?"

A stern look from Lapis, and she gave in and left.

 

"I don't mind if she watches." Peridot shrugged in good humour and then flushed. "This is all kinda new to me."

 

"You might not, but I do," Lapis said. She crossed the room and sat down next to Peridot. "It's okay," she said. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to."

 

Peridot nodded. "I'd like to kiss three pretty people." Her voice turned into a whisper. "Don't tell anyone but I gave your little Malachite a smooch, too."

 

Lapis laughed. "Malachite isn't a people, though. Even if I treat her like she is." And with that, she curled her arms around Peridot and leaned in to kiss her.

 

This was much different. Lapis wasn't as soft. Her lips weren't as plump but Peridot found herself actually kissing back and actually... enjoying the feeling. Before she knew it, she had a soft hand on Lapis' waist.

 

Lapis smiled at that. Pulled Peridot closer and deepened the kiss. Her heart was beating loudly. This wasn't Peridot's first kiss like Lapis had hoped, but it was still amazing.

 

Peridot blushed as she allowed Lapis more in her mouth and grew confident enough to touch her hair. She'd wanted to touch it for a while.

Aside from green, she was also very partial to blue.

 

Lapis reciprocated, ruffling Peridot's hair fondly before drawing back, breaking the kiss. She kept close to Peridot, though, still touching her.

"How was that?" she asked softly.

 

"I liked it. I liked it a lot. Thank you." Peridot gently touched Lapis' cheek before withdrawing.

 

Lapis smiled.

"Jasper?" she called.

Jasper poked her head in.

"You can come in," Lapis said. Jasper did, then stood by the door, looking sheepish.

"I want to make a new rule," Lapis told her.

 

"Rules are good!" Peridot nodded. "As long as they're sensible."

 

"What's your rule?" Jasper asked.

Lapis grinned smugly.

"We _both_ can kiss Peridot anytime we want, as long as she wants it too," she said.

 

Peridot audibly gulped. "Oh. Oh. I wouldn't mind that."

 

"Yeah," Jasper said. "I'd be okay with that too."

"It's a deal, then!" Lapis said and, on impulse, kissed Peridot again. Because she could.

 

Peridot was taken aback once more. She didn't touch Lapis again, not with Jasper there. But she closed her eyes. This felt good.

 

Jasper watched and found, oddly, that she didn't quite know _who_ she was feeling jealous of.

She marveled at the situation, though.

Lapis broke the kiss with Peridot and then grinned at Jasper. Got up, put her arms around Jasper's neck and kissed her too.

This was _great_.

 

Peridot found that... she liked to watch. She liked to see them happy. She felt satisfied with helping them resolve before things got ugly.

"So," she said when they broke off. "Dinner?"

 

Lapis laughed softly. Even Jasper was smiling.

"Yeah," she said. "Let's make dinner."

 

 

 


	41. Act V - Chapter VIII: Intimate

 

_One night stood out more than any in Marigold's memory._

_Almost two years after she'd started coming to Bridge Club regularly, she was finally good enough at the game to be a match for the other women. Tonight, she had beaten all of them, and won a pretty decent sum of money._

_Roxy looked a little sullen, but Claire would not stop smiling and told Marigold repeatedly just how_ proud _she was of her. Marigold practically glowed. Even Azure smiled at her from across the table._

_ _

_"Drinks are on me tonight," Marigold said, grinning. "Claire, Roxy? Should I get you something virgin, Azure?"_

_They were soon back at their table, enjoying their drinks, chatting and laughing._

_It was getting late. Marigold didn't care. Her heart was filled with warmth that she knew didn't come from the alcohol. Claire kept smiling at her with an affection she wasn't used to._

_A few drinks in, Claire stuck out her hand at Marigold._

_"Do you want to dance?"_

_ _

_There was a section at the back of the club that Marigold rarely visited, where lights were dim and flashing and the music was played louder than anywhere else. She was comfortably drunk, the world spinning slightly. She agreed._

_Claire's hand was warm in hers, soft fingers intertwining. Marigold's cheeks were warm, her heart beating fast._

_The songs were loud and fast, and Marigold found herself lost in the rhythm. She was still holding Claire's hand._

There's a fire within my soul

Just one look and I can hear a bell ring

One more look and I forget everything

_They knew the song; they sang along. Marigold's blood was rushing in her ears. Claire was laughing. In the dim light, she looked more beautiful than ever. On an impulse, Marigold came in and hugged her tight._

Mamma mia, here we go again

My, my, how could I resist you?

_She could feel Claire's body against hers. Claire was still laughing, the soft vibrations transmitting through her tummy. Marigold felt happier than she had in years. Maybe ever._

_Claire ruffled her hair, kissed her cheek._

_For a long moment, she leaned her forehead against Marigold. Their arms were around each other._

_ _

_When Marigold opened her eyes, Claire said something. The music was too loud, Marigold didn't hear, so she just smiled and pulled Claire into a hug again._

_After that night..._

_Something had changed._

_But Marigold could never quite put her finger on exactly_ what _had changed._

 

\--

 

Several weeks had passed. Several meetings with Pearl.

And today, Principal Diamond had scheduled a tutoring session with her.

It was already getting dark; Diamond had asked Pearl to stay after school, claiming that she was too busy during the day - but really, she just didn't want to risk running into Aurora. Or any staff members at all.

She didn't want anyone around when she was alone with Pearl. Nobody to judge her behaviour. Nobody to watch closely. Just Marigold and her student.

The prospect was oddly exciting. Pearl's attraction to her was evident. Pearl made even less of an effort to hide it than Aurora had, back then.

Diamond would be lying if she said she wasn't counting down the minutes.

 

It had excited Pearl, too, who had grown ever more intrigued by the Principal. She caught herself in the bathrooms before the session, dusting her face with powder and giving herself wings with her eyeliner. Not something she usually put effort into, not even for Rose. She pulled up her stockings, exposing her pretty legs under a miniskirt just a tad on the raunchy side.

She didn't know why she was even doing this. But it made her heart race.

She adjusted her bra beneath a v-neck to expose her cleavage just right and knocked on the door. She'd be striking tonight. Shatteringly gorgeous.

 

 

Diamond looked up.

"Come in," she said, her voice pleasant.

Pearl's sight made her heart beat fast. Heat rose to her cheeks.

"My, we are looking quite fancy today, aren't we? Are you meeting someone special after this?" she asked with an intrigued smile. As if she didn't know exactly who Pearl was dressed up for.

 

 

"Maybe," Pearl purred back a response, her voice in its usual chirp. "I have a bit of an evening planned. I hope they'll appreciate it."

 

Marigold didn't miss the neutral pronoun. A strategy, she remembered very clearly, often employed by people who didn't want to give away that their partner was of the same sex as them.

She'd met enough of those to see through Pearl. A part of her was disgusted. Another one, which was growing by the minute, got very excited.

"I'm sure they will," she said. "You look fantastic. Take a seat, my dear."

 

Pearl nodded and obeyed, gathering her items. "Thank you so much for this. I couldn't stand not to get straight A's if I failed this module."

 

"Well, I am here to help. Especially someone as bright as you." Marigold smiled. "What subject are you currently on?"

She knew the curriculum inside out. She knew exactly what Pearl was doing in history lessons at the moment. But she needed to make Pearl work for it.

 

"We've just had the lesson on the aftermath of the first world war." Pearl pulled out her textbook. "I'm not really a good historian at all. I don't... really understand any of it."

 

"What do you not understand?" Marigold stood up, sauntered around the table and stood behind Pearl. "Can you show me your notes?"

 

Pearl blushed and took her hand away from her neatly written notes. She'd doodled roses on the side of the page. "It just felt like I'd blanked out most of it. The entire sequence of events and factors." She'd been too busy thinking of Rose.

 

Marigold frowned. The notes were incomplete, showed obvious evidence of distraction. "Have you done any reading? As I recall, the textbook can be quite decent." She'd picked it herself. Of course it was.

 

"I learn better from actual lessons. I have no idea what's going on in this subject, though. Usually I'm really focused." Pearl frowned. "Though, if you feel it's a waste of time, I can happily go try and do textbook work on my own."

 

"Oh, absolutely not. You requested this, and I will grant you your wish." Marigold resisted the urge to put a hand on Pearl's shoulder. It was already immensely gratifying just standing so close to her.

She wasn't even drunk. She could feel her heart pounding.

"I was just establishing where you are," she said. "I need to know what you know so I can decide what to teach you."

 

Marigold's perfume smelt lush. Pearl had trouble looking away from those eyes. "I appreciate it a lot." She smiled. "I'm at your command."

 

Oh, Pearl should not have said that.

"Good," Marigold said. "So let's start at the beginning. What can you tell me about the end of the first world war?"

 

"It wasn't really good for anyone. But, uh, it led to the formation of the League of Nations. And then there was something about inflation."

 

"Okay, that's a good start," Marigold said. Internally, she shuddered. "Do you remember anything else?"

 

"A few political strikes in Germany. The reparations stuff being really nasty." Pearl twiddled her fingers.

 

"Okay." Very, very basic knowledge. Marigold sighed. "So if we look deeper into the subject of Germany. Do you remember why the reparations were, as you say, nasty?"

 

Pearl looked down, ashamed. "I honestly can barely remember. I'm so so sorry."

 

Marigold tutted. "I can see why you need tutoring, Pearl. Really, I expect better of you. But as it is, I suppose we will be here a while." She retreated a little. Tactical.

"Does the Treaty of Versailles ring a bell?"

 

"Oh, yeah! Lloyd George and the French guy got it through, right?"

 

"They were involved." Marigold was getting a little frustrated. She would have to explain _everything_. "For the record, in order to pass this class it'll be much more important to remember the contents of the treaty, than the names of the people who wrote it."

 

Pearl looked down, gritting her teeth. "I understand. I'm sorry. I'll work harder to learn them."

 

"Good. You're a good girl, aren't you? You'll do well." Marigold graced her with a smile. "Here, I'll explain it to you." She sat down again, next to Pearl. Closer than she necessarily needed to.

 

Pearl flushed almost immediately. "Oh." Oh God, she could feel Marigold's warmth. "Thank you."

 

Marigold gave her another smile. She was feeling generous today. "So, the Treaty of Versailles was the treaty that, effectively, ended the war. The participating countries were, of course, Germany as well as the allied forces that formed Germany's enemies. Do you remember anything about the content of the treaty?"

 

"It involved the complete demilitarisation of Germany, heavy fines." Pearl scribbled down notes.

 

"Indeed. What else?" It seemed Pearl just recalled peripheral details rather than the actual important bits. That much was clear. Marigold tried to remember who taught her - she would have to have a word with them.

 

Anxiety rose in her chest as her mind drew a blank. Pearl swallowed. "I, uh, I... Oh God, I can't think of anything right now."

 

Marigold sighed. She could tell Pearl was getting nervous, though, so she leaned a little closer. She could smell Pearl's perfume. It made her heart beat even faster.

"Let's start at the beginning, then," she said softly. Her fingers found the relevant pages in the textbook. "The most important thing about the Treaty of Versailles. The War Guilt Clause."

 

Pearl began to start scribbling things down. Her heart pounded, Marigold shifting gears was something she quickly picked up on. And oh, she could feel her skin tingle and hairs stand on end.

 

"This clause said that the war, with all its terrible consequences, was the fault of Germany alone. Which, of course, as you correctly said, lead to heavy fines, reparations, demilitarisation. The War Guilt Clause is very important in the context of twentieth century history. Can you think why that is?"

She had still not moved from her spot. She was looking at Pearl, barely able to tear her eyes away. She felt her blood rush in her ears.

 

"It made people upset... angry." Pearl swallowed and glanced at the textbook before looking Marigold in the eyes. Her voice a tremor as she attempted to recall facts she wasn't all too confident with. "The war guilt clause basically placed all blame of the war and its damages on the German people. It was unnecessary and to a lot of people, really humiliating, and overall made it far easier for Hitler to later manipulate as means to gather power."

 

Marigold held her eyes. Didn't move despite how... close they were.

"Good," she said softly. "So you do remember some things."

She felt the burning desire to reach out and touch Pearl.

She didn't.

"If you turn to page 413, you'll find accounts of different historians analysing the impact the War Guilt Clause had in the following years. It's not very long - I want you to read those and tell me what you think."

 

Pearl nodded and flicked through to the page in question, scanning her finger over the text as she quickly read it. She could feel the Principal's eyes on her, watching her. She nearly looked back up. She wondered if the Principal felt anything she did. Pearl decided to be brave. She pretended to accidentally brush her foot by Diamond's ankle. "Whoops, sorry."

 

That touch sent jolts of electricity through Marigold. Her heart nearly stopped.

Her eyes narrowed.

"Just... read," she said.

She lasted a few seconds. Then she inched closer to Pearl yet again. Searching for that contact.

 

Pearl swallowed nervously as she found her Principal looming over her. She couldn't help turning to see her. Right there. She almost wished to touch the Principal's skin. Her stomach was in a million knots. So much power, so much dominance all wrapped up in that sleek, form fitting suit. She could almost salivate.

 

When Pearl turned, Marigold found herself _far_ too close.

Close enough that if she'd wanted to lean in and kiss Pearl, she could have done so without much effort at all.

But she wasn't thinking about that. At all. Definitely not.

A few seconds passed. An entire internal battle was fought.

Marigold leaned in.

Then looked down at the textbook and drew back. "I thought I told you to read."

 

Pearl clenched her fists. "You did," she said, softly. What was going on? What even was this? Why was she getting so close. It couldn't be... she began to softly stroke her own hand as she read, side eyeing whether or not it would cause a reaction.

 

Abruptly, Marigold stood.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," she said. "Make sure you read everything carefully. Take notes. I expect a coherent answer from you, is that clear?"

She was feeling hot, everything was out of balance. She needed a moment to catch herself.

 

"Oh, alright!" Pearl gave a bright smile, it appeared there had been a reaction. "Have fun!"

 

Marigold blushed deeply. Did not reply and let the door fall shut behind her.

The bathroom. It was at the other end of the corridor. Nobody else was here.

She locked herself in. Ran her hands under the cold tap. What was _wrong_ with her?

The cold water wasn't helping. Frustrated, Marigold turned it off and dried her hands.

Parts of her body that she didn't usually think about were aching in unfamilar ways.

Unfamiliar, she realised after a long moment, because she'd barely felt this when she was sober.

A groan left her lips. Her hands, still cold from the tap water, found their way to the forbidden places. She shouldn't. She shouldn't. And yet...

Pearl's pretty face came to mind, the way she'd smiled at Marigold, evoked touch. Almost like she knew exactly what she was doing.

She probably did. Pearl was an awful, sinful person. So many of them were. Quartz and Lazuli and some of the students, despite everything Marigold had tried to do.

A few minutes later, she washed off her hands a second time. Knuckles red where she'd bit them to muffle her own voice. Shame flooding through her, worse than she'd ever felt it. This hadn't helped. Everything was worse.

There was no choice but to return.

 

Pearl, meanwhile, had actually managed to somewhat focus and had drawn up a grid of various historians and their arguments. She'd been cautious to look at her phone and even considered shooting Amethyst a message over what was going on. How close the Principal had gotten. How flustered both of them had become. But Amethyst barely reacted well to such news anymore. It was almost as if... she'd stopped being happy about such matters.

Pearl rolled her eyes and sighed. She put her phone away as she heard the click of the Principal's shoes. She frowned. What if Amethyst's turn in attitude was because of Aurora? It had only started when she'd moved in with her sister.

Pearl's blood began to boil. Oh god. Aurora had truly been manipulating her best friend this whole time.

 

The door opened. Marigold was still flustered. She couldn't continue this.

"I'm afraid something's come up, Pearl," she said, her voice carefully controlled. "We will have to stop our lesson here. But you can do this as homework. We will discuss it at our next meeting."

 

"Oh." Pearl swallowed. "Okay. That's alright. I needed to text my sister anyway." This would at least be ample opportunity to hurt Aurora back. If Aurora didn't want her to associate with the Principal, then Pearl would do all she could to show off that she was doing so anyway.

 

Huh. Marigold hadn't realised Pearl and Aurora were still in regular contact.

"Okay," she said.

She'd avoided thinking about Aurora, but now that Pearl had mentioned her, Marigold's thoughts were inevitably drawn to her. Hazy memories of drunken nights together. Christmasses and Easters.

She _missed_ Aurora.

"I'll see you around, Pearl," she said. Dismissive. Almost cold. As if the past few minutes never happened.

 

Pearl couldn't help but look a little smug. "Until next time, Principal. Have a safe journey." She drew her phone and sent Aurora a brief text before beginning to pack her bag. _Guess who just had the most interesting afterschool encounter with everyone's favourite Principal_. She then sent and grinned harder. _Oh, whoops. Meant to send that to Amy._

 

Aurora's phone buzzed.

A text from... Pearl?

Aurora frowned. That hadn't happened in _months_. She picked up her phone, unlocked it, and-

_Shit._

The second text followed, but Aurora had already jumped to conclusions. She was breathing hard, tried to stop herself from crying. _This can't be happening. This can't be true._

_ _

Her hands were shaking as she composed a reply.

_What do you mean by 'encounter'?!_

The only reason why she wasn't calling Pearl was because she couldn't trust her voice right now.

 

Pearl gave a dark smile at her phone. Oh, yes, she was going to pay for taking away Amy. _A juicy one, if you must know. Turns out she might not be all that homophobic ;)_

 

It was as if all the air had been taken from the world. It was as if Aurora's entire existence was concentrated in that text, only to explode moments later.

She was heaving, crying, unable to even call out for help because the only thought she could hold in her head was that she'd been right, she'd been right and she'd never hoped more to be wrong, Marigold had Pearl and she was going to do to Pearl exactly what she'd done to Aurora, and there was nothing she could do -

She dialled Pearl as soon as she could breathe again. More than ten minutes had passed.

 

Pearl saw the name on her phone and considered hanging up on Aurora there and then. She let it ring. She let her sister suffer. She finally swiped left. "Hello?" she purred.

 

"Pearl..." Her voice was still shaking. Aurora cursed herself. "What the _hell_ happened?"

 

"I sent you the wrong text." Pearl sounded a little flustered. "I didn't mean to let you know that the Principal and I almost... Oh, never mind, I'm spilling too much. I'll let you ruin my life some other time. Bye."

 

"No! Pearl, wait!" Aurora's voice was shrill, panicky. "What did she _do?_ "

 

"Nothing."

 

"Pearl, _please!_ " Tears stung in her eyes again. "Please tell me, what did she do?"

 

"You see, that's private." Pearl scratched the tip of her index finger with the nail of her thumb. "You might not believe this, but there are some things in this world that aren't your business, Aurora. Good day."

 

" _No!_ ", Aurora yelled, "Pearl - this is _important!_ "

 

"Alright, fine. She gave me a history lesson. We got very intimate."

 

"How?" Aurora demanded.

 

"Why do you need to know, Aurora?" Pearl demanded.

 

"I'm _concerned_ ," Aurora snapped. "Now tell me."

 

It was at that moment that Pearl chose to hang up.

 

The only answer Aurora got was the click in the line.

She stared at her phone, incredulous, before breaking down completely.

 

The door opened behind her. "Honey, I'm hooome!" Amethyst exclaimed in a characteristically carefree fashion, tossing her bag to the side. She then paused. "...Aurora? Where you at?"

 

Amethyst had _perfect_ timing. Although Aurora wasn't sure whether she wanted her friend to witness this.

"In here," she said, loud enough for Amethyst to hear. She didn't expect Amy would miss her sobs.

 

Indeed, she didn't. She heard the shakiness in Aurora's call and raced over. "Rori. Yo. What's... what's happening?"

 

Aurora showed her her phone with the texts from Pearl.

 

Amethyst only paused for a minute. "...What? _What?_ Why would she... That's bullshit! We don't... we've never spoken about this kind of shit."

 

"I don't - I don't know!" Aurora sobbed. "I - I called her and - and - and she wouldn't tell me a-a-anything..." She tried to get herself back under control, hid her face in her hands. This was _embarassing_.

 

"Aurora, Aurora, no. This... this isn't your fault. I don't know what's going on. Are you sure she... didn't do this on purpose to freak you out?"

 

"I don't know!" Aurora didn't know anything anymore. "But - but I can't be thinking that, or she'll be right and I'll be turning you against her." The paranoid thoughts were already there. "Marigold has her. Oh god, she's got her. Amy, I can't do anything. I just wanted to protect her."

 

"We will. We... we will, okay? I'll do what I can.... I..." Amethyst gripped her own hair. "I couldn't stop her from dating Quartz, I couldn't stop her from the eating disorder, I couldn't..." She then turned on her heel, wide eyed. "Oh. Shit."

 

Aurora stared at Amethyst.

"She's _what?_ "

If Aurora had learned about this yesterday, it would have driven her crazy. Now, somehow, it helped calm her down.

"Oh jeez. Of course she is."

 

Amethyst took a sharp inhale. "You didn't hear that from me. I'm a shitty friend, oh my fucking God."

 

"My lips are sealed," Aurora said. "But - but this means Quartz has power over her. More than you or I. Do you - do you think you could tell her - tell Quartz. About this. Tell her you heard something. Not from me. But that you're worried about Pearl."

 

"Me and Quartz aint on the best of terms, really." Amethyst mumbled. _Plus, I'm jealous as fuck of her._ She brushed a strand of hair over her eye. "It might not be the best idea."

 

"What _else_ are we going to do?" Aurora said, probably a little more harshly than she needed to. "You - you don't understand. If we don't do something, Pearl's going to go through the same shit I did. Five years, Amy. _Five years_. There's no way I'm subjecting my sister to that."

 

"Maybe you should speak to her. Let her... let her know what you've told me. She's got more power than me. I'm just a kid."

 

"I can't," Aurora said. "I can't - I can't just... _tell people_. The only ones who know are you and Blue, and you are both very special cases. You don't understand. I can't."

 

"Do you want her to go through what you went through?" Amy softly pressed at her, stressing it a little too much.

 

" _No!_ Of course I don't! But - but I can't!" Aurora threw up her hands. "I can't! I just can't. I can't."

 

"Quartz is so much more likely to believe you."

 

"Believe me? Believe what, that our homophobic Principal was fucking me for years, or that I _let her?_ Or that she's about to do it to Pearl, if she hasn't already? I - I can't, Amy. I can't. Please don't make me."

 

"Alright, alright. I won't. No one will make you do anything you don't wanna, okay?" Amethyst swallowed. "I guess I will. I'll... Have to. For Pearl."

 

"Thank you." Aurora relaxed a little bit. "Yeah... do it for her. She deserves better."

 

"Of course. I can't let Principal Fuckass take her. Not you. Not anyone."

 

"Good. I... I'm sorry, Amy." Aurora drew a deep, shaky breath. "I should be the one dealing with this."

 

"Well. Ya can't always do everything, right? You tried. You called her and she's hurting you. I'll... try to help her."

 

"Thank you."

Aurora sighed. Wiped her face. "God, I must look gross. I'll go clean myself up. Sorry about this, Amy."

 

"No, no. Not at all. Here, I've got a was of tissues in my pocket," Amy produced them, a rubiks cube, three cents, a paperclip, and a chewed up cat toy. "There ya go."

 

Aurora narrowed her eyes.

"I... think I'll be okay." She got up. "I'll be in the bathroom. Thanks, though."

 

Amy didn't appear to be too offended. "Hah, that's okay, more for me to practise orogami or some shit." She then turned a little more serious. "But can I do anything to make you feel better?"

 

Aurora turned and looked at Amy.

"Get Pearl away from Principal Diamond," she said.

 

"I'll do my best."

 

 

 


	42. Act V - Chapter IX: Worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We only have one illustration for this chapter because Ron's been sick - he apologises. He might do more later this week!

The next day, Rose Quartz prepared to teach her final year students.

Dark rings under her eyes spoke of long evenings, because on top of her usual workload, she had to organise the fair. It barely gave her time to think about anything else. She'd barely had time to spend with Greg. She barely had time to worry about Pearl and Principal Diamond.

She set up her classroom. Determined to do great. Diamond would be inspecting her, she assumed, at random intervals. She had to be prepared for anything.

 

Amethyst felt a knot of unease as the lesson progressed, realising she drew closer to having to speak to Rose. Pearl seemed to be usually lost in her lesson, giving little time to chat. Amy could barely focus, and by the time the bell rang, she almost debated lying to Aurora and saying she'd spoken. But she then looked at Pearl and swallowed. No. Not if her friend was in danger.

"Yo, P, I need to ask Quartz a couple of questions about the mocks. I fucked them up. I'll catch you in English, alright?"

She was met with a confused nod from Pearl, who only seemed to shrug and promise to save her a seat.

Once everyone had left the room, Amy paced to the front of the class and cleared her throat. "Miss Quartz."

 

Of all the people that Rose expected to stay after class, Amethyst wasn't one of them.

She looked up, surprised. "Amy!" she said. "What can I do for you?"

 

Amy swallowed and took a look around. "Could we... maybe talk about something?" She rubbed her arm. "About Pearl."

 

 

About Pearl. Worry shot through Rose. "Y-yeah," she said, "Sure. What about her?"

 

"Her and the principal. She sent... a really worrying text to her sister by mistake last night. And like... I know you two are close." An understatement, to say the least. Amy shifted, feeling a pang of envy plaster a flush over her face.

 

"Oh?" That was, indeed, worrying. Rose clearly remembered Pearl saying that Diamond was hot. She thought of Jasper's allegations. What if...?

"Do you know what exactly happened?"

 

"I..." Amy swallowed. She might as well tell Rose everything. "I live with her now. Her sister has a little studio pad. And last night I came home from school and... Aurora was kinda freaking out over a text. Apparently Pearl and the Principal had some kind of afterschool sesh, she didn't tell me jack shit about it but.... apparently they did something, yanno... sexual. Maybe. Whatever. Pearl wasn't clear about it and she's not gonna tell either me or Rori anything."

 

Amy's words sent a surge of alarm through Rose. She straightened up, gripping the pen she was holding with needless force.

"That is indeed worrying," she said. An understatement. She _loved_ Pearl. There was _no way_ she would stand by and let her precious Pearl get destroyed by a force equal to Roxy Dayman.

"Thank you for telling me, Amy," Rose said, her voice carefully controlled. "I'll see what I can do."

 

Amy felt that despicable envy surge even more through her. She hated the terror in those eyes. She wanted to be bigger. More powerful. A part of her wished nothing more than to be the one protecting Pearl. "You, uh, keep her safe, okay? Or I'm... I'm calling the cops. And that's going to be ugly for everyone." An empty threat, she realised; she was too scared. But Rose didn't know that. "And Diamond has a chance of not getting caught. You don't."

 

"There's no need to threaten me, Amethyst," Rose said, her voice gentle. Amethyst was just as worried about Pearl as she was. They were on the same side. "I'm not doing anything illegal. And I'll keep you updated, if you wish."

 

Amethyst swallowed. "Please." The anxiety welling in her stomach made things so much more tense. "For Rori's sake, too. This is... really bad on her."

 

"I can imagine." Rose lowered her voice. "This stays between us, but I'm trying to get a few people together. So I have allies against Diamond. Let's just say the way she's treating me hasn't gone unnoticed by the rest of the staff. I can't do anything by myself, but if we work together we might have a chance of actually changing things."

 

Oh. Of course. Amethyst could only give a tiny nod. "It can't be good. She's... not good to anyone, right now. Stay safe, I gotta, uh, head to English."

 

"Okay. You stay safe too. Keep Pearl safe. I can't do it all the time." Rose gave Amethyst a smile. "I'll let you know if there's any progress."

 

Amethyst didn't return the smile. "See ya."

She turned and left, her insides completely messy. She hated this. She hated feeling like she wasn't enough.

 

Rose sighed and watched Amy leave.

She then pulled out her phone and sent a text to Pearl.

_Can you come see me later? RQ xx_

 

Pearl's phone buzzed. She gave a quick glance and tilted her head. Oh. Rose. She smiled. That would be nice, she'd barely had any time to talk to her in the lesson. She gave Amy a wave as her friend walked into class, late. The rest of the lesson seemed to go all too fast, and they'd thankfully made it into their lunch period.

"Rose wants to see me." Pearl sighed as Amethyst suggested going out to town for lunch. "I haven't had time to really talk to her since our date, she's been so busy. Apparently Diamond's got her doing some stuff for the career's fair. I'll see you later, okay?"

And with that, they echanged goodbyes and Pearl paced towards Rose's room.

 

Rose waited, anxiety tying her belly into a knot. She'd tried to talk to Pearl about this before. Hadn't gotten through to her. She had to try again, regardless.

She stayed in her classroom over lunch, expecting Pearl to find her there; and so she did.

Rose greeted her with a warm smile. "Hello, Pearl!" she said. "I hope you've had a good day?"

 

Pearl gave a little nod. "I'm very well! Missed you, barely had the chance to talk since the weekend. You okay?"

 

"Yes, just very busy." Rose smiled at Pearl, then went over and closed the door before pulling Pearl into a hug.

"I've missed you too," she muttered.

 

Pearl closed her eyes and let herself feel the warmth of Rose's arms. "Can we go out for lunch? Like we used to."

 

Rose's heart ached.

"I'd honestly love to," she said. "But it probably wouldn't be a good idea." Did Pearl know that Diamond had seen them have lunch together that last time?

 

Pearl frowned. "Yeah. I guess you're right." The Principal's very early comment about how she'd gained weight racked in her mind. "I don't need to eat right now, anyway."

 

Rose swallowed. That wasn't what she meant.

"Do you not have lunch with you?" she asked.

Pearl had been in _hospital_. She was supposed to be _better_. And yet, Rose could still see those patterns so very clearly.

 

"I do. It's just... something someone said. They'd noticed I'd gained weight. I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it."

 

"She might have meant it in a positive way," Rose said. "I, for one, happen to think you're gorgeous."

She kissed Pearl's cheek. Wanted to kiss her lips, but remembered why she'd asked Pearl to come here.

"I heard you had some kind of... tutoring session with the Principal," she said carefully.

 

Pearl blushed. "I've been falling behind in history, that's all."

 

"Is it?" Rose asked. From what Amethyst had said, it was most certainly not all. "Is she a good teacher, then?"

 

"Yes. She got me to answer questions, anyway."

 

"Hmm." Rose wasn't getting very far like this. "What did she teach you about?"

 

"Oh. Just history."

 

Rose smiled. "Are you being evasive on purpose?" she asked. "I'm just interested in your life."

 

Pearl looked a little taken aback. "U-um. No."

 

Rose frowned.

"I... heard things," she then said. "About the Principal. And you. I was just... wondering."

 

"Oh." Pearl swallowed. "It was Aurora, wasn't it?"

 

Rose ignored Pearl's query regarding the identity of her source. "I'm worried something might have happened that I should know about," she said. "Not in my capacity as your teacher, but rather... your partner." It felt... strange, saying it, but oddly right.

 

"Alright." Pearl swallowed. "I've been getting close to the Principal. I don't understand it, something about her has just drawn me in."

 

"Hmm." Rose's frown didn't ease up. "Has she indicated... reciprocation?" Because from what Amethyst had said, it had certainly sounded like it.

 

Pearl paused for a minute. "Yes."

 

"I thought she was homophobic."

 

"Didn't we all?" Pearl rubbed her arm, awkwardly. "It's been absolutely nothing explicit. Just.... touches. And then... yesterday, I think I may have accidentally seduced her."

 

"Seduced," Rose echoed.

Thoughts were racing through her head faster than she could keep up.

 

"Things just kept getting really intimate, you know. Her tone was different. Her touches. She sat real close next to me." She then closed her eyes. "I think we nearly kissed. I... I liked it."

 

_Of course you did._

Rose sighed heavily. "Is that all?" she asked gently.

 

"Oh yeah. Definetly. I don't think she'd take it any further. Maybe she just needs some excitement in her life."

 

Rose relaxed a little.

"Okay," she said. "Thank you for telling me." She cupped Pearl's face and leaned in to kiss her sweetly.

She was still worried. This little anecdote showed the Principal in an entirely different light.

 

"Do you want it to stop?" Pearl closed her eyes and smiled into the kiss, her voice betraying her sadness.

 

Rose drew back.

Part of her wanted to tell Pearl yes, but she knew she couldn't.

"We're polyamorous, Pearl," she said. "I have no say in who you do what with, I'd just like to know. I... can't say that your interactions with the Principal don't worry me, though. Just be careful, okay? And let me know if anything else happens."

 

"Why would they worry you? She's been so kind to me."

 

"I've known her longer than you," Rose said with a sigh. "And very few of my interactions with her have been as positive as yours. In fact, that's the experience most people have with her." _She's borderline abusing your sister. She's outright punishing me for mentoring a student. She got Ruby expelled for being gay. She drove Lars to-_

"Just keep in mind that she may not be all she seems," she said.

 

Pearl took a gentle step back. "Oh. Oh, I see. I think I'll... I should tell her to back off the next time we have a session."

 

"Be careful," Rose said, yet again. "She's good at manipulating and putting words into your mouth and -" She sighed. "I don't want to bring you up against her, that's not what this is about. But I know what she's like. And I don't want you to get hurt."

She reached out and touched Pearl's cheek.

 

"I won't. I'm only weak when I'm with you, Rose." She gave a little smile. "Everything's going to be okay. But I'm glad you warned me about her. I guess I'm just going to have to trust you. And I do."

 

Rose returned the smile, a little less anxious.

She leaned in and kissed Pearl again, letting the kiss linger for several long moments.

 

Pearl kissed back, brushing a hand across Rose's cheek. This no longer felt like a complete novelty. Or scandalous. Just right. "Do you ever worry what would happen if they caught us like this?"

 

"All the time," Rose said quietly. "I try my best to make sure we're not caught."

 

"No one can just walk in then, can they?"

 

"The door is locked," Rose assured her. "We're all by ourselves."

 

Pearl couldn't hold in her giggle. "When you say it like that, it makes me think we could really get up to anything." She then waved her hand. "Don't get me wrong, though. Unlike our Principal, I'd rather not orchestrate anything suspect in these rooms. They are filthier than Amy's room."

 

Rose smiled.

"Never mind the fact that if we went beyond kissing, I would definitely be in the realm of the illegal, no matter where we do it," she said. "But we can definitely kiss."

 

Pearl could only chuckle. "Kissing is good. Kissing is very good."

 

Rose had hoped for that answer. "I'm glad," she said. A quick glance at the clock. "We have about twenty minutes left of lunch. You should eat something - but we can have a little bit more time together." And with that, she pulled Pearl close and kissed her again.

 

Pearl giggled into the kiss, her entire set of emotions alight. She could only kiss back. And then she realised something. "Oh! Coach Jasper said she wanted to meet with me this lunchtime. Something about physio?"

 

"Oh!" Rose smiled. So her chat with Jasper and Lapis had actually fruited, and not just been talk. "She did mention she wanted to see you more again. Well, there's not that much time left, so why don't you go now?"

 

"I know that the old school assumption that all teachers are a hive mind has been proven wrong but... you wouldn't know where she is about now, would you?"

 

Rose chuckled. "She's probably in the gym," she said. "If she said to meet you, that's where she'll be expecting you to go."

 

"That's true." Pearl nodded. "Alright. We'll hang out some other time, okay?"

 

"Yeah! Feel free to come see me whenever," Rose said with a smile. She tipped Pearl's chin up gently and kissed her again.

"Have a good day!"


	43. Act V - Chapter X: Out

After her chat with Rose, Pearl walked to the direction of the gym. She hoped she'd have enough time to catch up with Jasper. Her last encounter had filled her with hope in terms of reconnecting with the coach. However, as she came closer, she heard two lone voices in the gym.

It was the coach and her English teacher. Lazuli. Huh. She'd have English next. Pearl quirked a brow. She was tempted to say hi, but somehow ended up hiding behind the stack of blue gym mats, listening in.

 

"Look, Lapis, I'm just saying Quartz has every reason to be suspicious," Jasper was saying. "You know how the situation back then with our supervisor played out. Quartz knows their type, you can trust me on that."

 

"I'm not debating that." Lapis shot back. "I'm just curious as to why _her_. Why her as a target? What's the motivation?"

 

"She's young, impressionable. Unstable. If you play your cards right, she'll do anything for you." Jasper held Lapis's eyes. "I trained her for years. I know her."

 

Pearl's eyes widened.

Quartz. Impressionable. Trained.

They were talking about _her_.

"She's barely been listening in English." Lapis retorted. "What's the deal with that?"

 

"Well," Jasper said, her mouth twitching up, "either she doesn't like you, or... does she have Biology just after your class? ...or just before?"

 

"After. What's the relevance?"

 

"Oh, come _on_ , Lapis, I thought you were smart. Her and Quartz?" Jasper raised an eyebrow.

 

"Oh shit, yeah." Lapis nodded. "That would explain it. I'll have to talk to Quartz about it."

Pearl slunk bank. They knew. _They knew_.

 

"You do that. Actually, didn't you say you wanted to go like, twenty minutes ago?"

 

"Ughh, you kept me distracted!" Lapis gave a teasing punch on Jasper's arm before pulling her close. "Oh well. Do you think we could have a quickie before I go?"

 

Jasper laughed darkly. "You know anyone could walk in at any moment," she said, but let Lapis pull her close and kissed her. "Now go, do whatever you said you would do. We got more than enough time this evening."

 

Lapis kissed her back, deciding to wrap a hand around Jasper's waist and help herself to a handful of that firm ass.

Pearl audibly gaped at the noises. The information. No. She wasn't meant to hear any of that. She got up to try and sneak out.

And tripped over on the gymnasium floor. "Ow, fuck!"

 

Lapis and Jasper jumped apart at the sudden noise.

" _Pearl?_ " Jasper said.

Lapis gave her a _look_.

"Well, I'll be gone then," she said. "See you later, Jasper, Pearl." And with that, she was off.

Jasper came over to Pearl. "Did you hurt yourself? Here, I'll help you up."

 

 

Pearl could only look at her. Wide eyed. "Sorry. Sorry. _S_ _orry_ , I didn't mean to..." She then swallowed. "You were talking about me."

 

There was no point denying it. "Yeah," Jasper said, holding out her hand to help Pearl get up. "How much did you hear?"

 

"Enough." Pearl swallowed. "Didn't know you were gay."

 

Jasper smirked. "Despite what our dear Principal would like us to believe, a lot of people here are." She then grew a little more serious. "So, you want to do some physio? We can talk about stuff while we do that."

 

Pearl was uncertain, but gathered herself up. "The scratches on your thighs. Lazuli did them." She then had another revelation. "Lazuli is gay."

 

"Smart girl," Jasper said. "Yeah, we've been dating on and off for over two years now. How about you, then, hm? One hears things."

 

"You heard about Rose and I... How? Did... did Amy tell you?" Rose wouldn't have. Couldn't have. "How did you know about me and the principal?"

 

"Word gets around," Jasper said, and, for Quartz's benefit, decided on the harmless half-truth. "The note Spearmint confiscated from you was a pretty good indicator. But even without it, people have eyes."

 

"Oh God." Pearl gasped, her mind in turmoil. "Oh God. You know. You all know."

 

"Not everyone," Jasper said. "I mean, Lapis and I confirmed it with Quartz, but I don't think anyone else knows. We're keeping it from the Principal. For Quartz's benefit and yours. You're welcome."

The gym equipment was mostly set up; Jasper motioned for Pearl to start her workout. "Let's start with some stretches. Now, what is this about you and the Principal, hm? You want to tell me about that?"

 

"Oh, geeze. Not you, too." Pearl sighed, following with the stretches. "She's just helping me. She's been so nice."

 

"Nice, huh." Jasper frowned. "You know, sometimes people are nice, and maybe you look up to them, or even love them. But sometimes, those people can be bad for you. They can hurt you. And you don't want to accept that because you love them. But it's still something that happens." She looked into the distance. It was not hard to tell that she was speaking from experience.

 

Pearl tilted her head. This was just like her old dance classes. "What do you... mean?"

 

Jasper met her eyes, didn't smile. "What I'm about to tell you is between us," she said. "You don't tell anyone, you hear? Not Rose or Amy or anyone."

 

Pearl nodded. She knew that expression well. She didn't want to let it down. "Of course. You have my word."

 

"Good." Jasper half-smiled.

"So... Lapis and I. Not really the healthiest relationship around," she then began. "To be honest... she's manipulative. Outright cruel, sometimes. I've hurt her, too, but... I don't know what people usually call someone who locks their partner out of the flat to let them stand in the rain for half an hour." She swallowed. "Their _aquaphobic_ partner."

 

"Shit." Pearl finished the stretch. "And you can't get out of that?"

 

"Don't want to." She shrugged and sat down for the next exercise. "I love her."

 

Pearl followed, but looked down. "I see. But... that's... not okay. That's awful and borderline abusive."

 

Jasper shrugged again. "Flex your knees," she said, demonstrating the motion, "like this. It's not okay, but I love her. And no matter what it is, we're better off together. Believe me, we've tried to break up multiple times."

 

Pearl grunted as she mimicked. Pained. "But… I couldn't imagine locking anyone out! At all. That's awful."

 

"I've hurt her too," Jasper said. "Maybe worse than she hurts me, it's difficult to tell. We're both fucked up in different ways. Try holding your knee like-" She reached over, readjusted Pearl's leg. "That should hurt a little less now."

 

Pearl blushed at the touch. So intimate. Jasper used to touch her all the time. "How have you hurt her?"

 

 

"Physically," Jasper said simply. "Is that better now? ...so, yeah. Her dad was very abusive to her. I was in the military. We both have our trauma. We deal with it together. It's not ideal. But better than dealing with it alone."

 

"Being abused by someone isn't an excuse, though. My parents neglected me and... I..." Pearl looked away. "Oh."

 

"Mhm. So, Pearl, you wanna tell me again what's going on with you and the Principal?"

 

"She's just trying to help me. I'm kind of starting to think I'm… exaggerating."

 

Jasper looked at Pearl. "Care to elaborate?"

 

"She's been getting close. Touching me. Talking to me in... s way I find myself almost seduced by. Not touching like how you touch me. But like... long. Lingering feeling. But maybe that's just the way she is."

 

"I see. But you've been playing along, haven't you." It wasn't really a question. Jasper knew Pearl well enough.

 

"I like the attention. It's hot to indulge in. And maybe I used to indulge with you, coach."

 

"Maybe, yeah." Jasper grinned at her. "But the Principal is a dangerous woman, Pearl. You understand that, don't you? You've heard of the incident a few years back, where one of the students committed suicide?"

 

Pearl gave an uncomfortable look. She preferred to avoid thinking of it.

 

"You do, then." Jasper knew that look. "You know why he killed himself, don't you? It's not exactly a secret, though nothing was ever proven."

 

"I heard things. I don't know how much is true. He was mentally ill."

 

"Well, yeah. You'd have to be to kill yourself." Jasper almost rolled her eyes in a Lapis-esque fashion, but then stopped herself. "Your precious Principal basically bullied him to death. He was transgender. That was reason enough for her."

 

Pearl swallowed. "She wouldn't. Maybe she wouldn't accept it but… she wouldn't bully anyone like that."

 

"I was there. The majority of the current staff was there. She's barely less than a murderer, Pearl." Jasper looked at her. "A homophobic, transphobic murderer. That's the person you've been trying to seduce, and you have the nerve to tell me anything about getting out of an abusive relationship. Really."

 

Pearl looked at her, wide eyed and scared. "I... I didn't know."

 

"You could have," Jasper said. "And even so, weren't you friends with that lesbian couple she went after last year? This is no secret, Pearl."

 

"I didn't want to think about it. I liked the attention she gave me."

 

"It's always about attention with you, isn't it," Jasper said, but without much force. "Stretch your knees, like that. We don't have much time left."

 

Pearl looked away once more. Unable to meet Jasper's eyes. "I have an illness. I can't help it."

 

"Oh, and here I thought being mentally ill didn't excuse doing bad shit," Jasper shot back. "You can't just go about your life like this, you at least have to think about what you're doing sometimes. Rose - I can tolerate that, she's not a bad person, but the Principal? Pearl, you need to stop."

 

Pearl clenched her fists. "You're right. This... this whole Principal thing has all been a huge mistake. She's not a good person." She felt her back click. "I'm not a good person."

 

"Eh, wouldn't go that far," Jasper said. "You're young, you're allowed to make mistakes. It's what us teachers are there for - making sure you learn from them." She smiled at Pearl. "So, what are you gonna do about it now?"

 

"Confront her. Tell her that I'm… not going to continue seeing her anymore."

 

"It's a start," Jasper said. "Be careful, alright? If she gives you shit, we will protect you. Me and Lapis and Rose. We kind of have... an agreement to that end."

 

"Alright." Pearl looked at the clock. "I'll... I'll go find her after school."

 

"Good," Jasper said. "Sorry we didn't get much done just now, but lunch is almost over and you have class. Feel free to drop by anytime, though, I'd be happy to do more physio with you." She gave Pearl a smile.

 

Pearl nodded. She felt more limber but somehow, her entire mind was in complete chaos. She'd have to break things off with Marigold. At least tell her that it wasn't okay. Pearl swallowed. Yes.

She didn't deserve to be manipulated or abused like that. Not by someone who now knew her and her issues so well. Not by someone who had so much power over her. It was frankly... disgusting.

And that disgust only fermented in her last hour of lessons. Fermented until her chest ached and she felt sick with herself. With Marigold. But mostly her own stupidity over all this. She'd given Marigold so much of herself in such a short time. Her energy, her effort. And for what?

It needed to stop. After school, she found her way to the office. Aurora wasn't at the reception.

Somehow, Pearl wished she was.

She felt utterly alone when she knocked on the door.

 

Marigold looked up, surprised. She was not expecting anyone.

"Come in," she said.

 

Pearl swallowed once more and stiffly came in. Her eyes a little darker than usual. "Could we maybe talk, Principal?"

 

Marigold's eyes narrowed.

"Pearl," she said, her voice almost cold. "I wasn't expecting you. But, sure, come in. What's on your mind?"

 

Pearl didn't sit down like usual. She didn't plan to stay for long. "I want to stop seeing you." She then added, "For our sessions."

 

"I see," Marigold said. Her eyes finding Pearl's. "Any particular reason for that?"

 

"Our last session felt very inappropriate. And I don't really… feel comfortable with the way talking to you makes me feel. It's made me actively try and hurt my sister and my partner doesn't feel too comfortable with it either." She fidgeted. "Nothing personal."

 

Marigold held her eyes, not showing any emotion whatsoever.

"I don't know what you're implying," she said.

 

"You don't need to." Pearl shrugged. "I guess I'll see you around, Principal."

 

"No."

The single word had more power and force than needed. Marigold was standing now.

"Sit down, Pearl," she said. "I haven't dismissed you yet."

 

Pearl froze. She began to tremble a little. "I need to get home, Principal."

 

"You _need_ ," Principal Diamond said, "to sit down. I know far more about your home life than you are aware of, which means I happen to know that nobody is expecting you. Sit down."

 

Pearl looked around and considered running out of the door.

She ended up complying, eyes to the floor.

 

"Good girl," Marigold said, her voice like velvet. "Now, please, if you don't mind, do elaborate on what you felt was... _inappropriate_."

 

Pearl swallowed. It was hard to pinpoint. "I don't feel like going into it, Principal."

 

"I'm asking you to." A steely look. Pearl wasn't going to get out of this so easily.

 

"I dislike how close you're getting to me. I've heard things, Principal. And I've decided to not get involved. You nearly had one of my best friends from last year expelled for being gay." She met those eyes and felt a tremor. "I don't want anything to do with homophobes anymore."

 

Marigold's eyes narrowed. Her expression cold.

People had accused her of homophobia before. Rarely had they been this direct. Never had it hit her so deeply, in a way she could not describe.

She took a deep breath.

"Ruby was unruly and disruptive," she said. "It had nothing to do with her... lifestyle. And I fail to see how me apparently being homophobic relates to us getting, as you say, close."

 

Pearl looked away. "I'm just no longer comfortable with our little arrangement. That should be reason enough."

 

"Well, it's not," Marigold said. "You're going to have to explain yourself to me in full, given that you initiated these sessions in the first place." Not quite true, but true enough.

 

"Alright. I'm also beginning to feel like these sessions are disrupting my relationships with people. My partner doesn't like it. Amy doesn't like it." Members of staff, old friends. "I... used the fact that we were having sessions to make Aurora panic. And she... she flipped out. She thinks you're dangerous to me."

 

"You're getting tutoring. Why are your family and friends taking it so personally?" Marigold said, harshly. She knew what Pearl was trying to say. She just needed her to say it.

Pearl's words regarding Aurora hit harder than expected. Yet again.

_Aurora thinks I'm dangerous._

She internalised it and sneered at Pearl. "Your sister needs to learn how to mind her own business. Don't you agree, Pearl? After all, _you_ were the one who told me to get her off your back, weren't you? I can't believe you're trying to use that against me now."

 

Pearl snapped, finally. "This is what I was talking about! Maybe there's a reason no one in this school likes you. Including my sister. Maybe there's a reason they bitch about you and that one of the best bits of graffiti in our bathrooms happens to be a very interesting caricature labelled 'Principal Maricunt'!" She stood up. Blood pumping in her ears. "People I trust told me to back off. Members of staff told me to be careful. That's a billion red flags. And I'm glad Aurora tried to pull me out. I thought... I thought she was jealous but maybe... she knows exactly what you are."

 

Marigold tuned Pearl out, mostly.

Up until she mentioned Aurora. Which got her attention again.

Aurora... how _dare_ she?

"Your sister," Marigold snapped, "is a gay woman who has been employed by me for five years. She has _no right_ to accuse me of homophobia."

 

Pearl opened her mouth and then closed it. She froze once more. No.

No. Aurora was not...

She wasn't. She couldn't be. She was too perfect.

"That's... That's not true! She's nothing like me. She's straight."

 

 

Marigold raised an eyebrow.

"You too, then, huh?" she said. "I can't believe she never told you."

 

"She isn't gay! She can't be. She just..." Pearl felt herself swallow. She found herself shaking. Tense. Terrified. "No."

 

"Believe me or don't, it doesn't make a difference." Marigold felt her heart harden against Pearl. Pearl was going to _pay_. So was Aurora. So was every other goddamn queer in this school. The days of silently accepting such sinful abominations were over.

"You are dismissed."

 

Pearl didn't move for a good few seconds. Still shell shocked.

She then stood up. "Thank you for your time." Her voice came out numb. Utterly void of it's fire from minutes ago.

She walked out swiftly, as if fleeing with a tail inbetween her legs.

 

Marigold watched her go, then slowly started packing up her things to leave as well.

Her heart was cold. She wasn't sure what she was feeling.

She just knew that someone needed to pay. And Pearl was, at this moment, a very likely candidate.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've decided to split Act 5 into two parts (is this Homestuck?) because it's just getting far too long.
> 
> This chapter marks the end of Act 5, Part 1. We have a short interlude prepared, which we will publish next week - so it'll be short but to make up for it there will be lots of illustrations!  
> The week after that we will continue with Act 5, Part 2, Chapter 1 (or Act 5, Chapter 11)!


	44. Act V - Intermission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter in terms of writing, but a heavy one.
> 
> Content warnings for illness and death mentions.

_The pancreas is a vital organ sitting in the triangle between stomach, spleen and small intestine. Its blood supply is complex; its function is to produce digestive juices to give into the intestines, and to produce enzymes that regulate blood sugar, like insulin and glucagon._

_Due to its position and complexity, malignancy in the pancreas is very difficult to treat. It is very difficult to surgically remove the pancreas; even more difficult to replicate all the functions it had in the healthy body. If the tumour spreads to lymph nodes or the liver, it is almost certainly a death sentence._

_Claire Diment was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer when Marigold Diamond was twenty-six._

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

_She was watching television, mindless drivel. Barely concentrating on anything said or shown on the screen. Her hands fidgeting, shaking._

_They’d come back from a hospital visit, and Claire had told Marigold she needed some time alone. She’d told Marigold nothing of what the doctors had said._

_A door opened. Heavy steps. Marigold clenched her jaw, but stayed where she was._

_A few seconds later, Claire’s thin, pale form sank down on the sofa next to her._

_Marigold looked at her. Claire’s cheeks were hollow. Her hair was growing back thin and wispy. Her eyes looked dull._

“ _Mari dear,” Claire said, leaning her head against Marigold’s shoulder. “Let’s get drunk.”_

“ _I – I don’t think you should –“_

“ _Shhh,” Claire whispered. A spindly finger hovering over Marigold’s full lips. Marigold frowned._

“ _Please, Mari. You’ve lived here for two years now and you’ve only ever looked out for me. Always made sure I only ever did what’s best for me. But it didn’t help. Nothing’s helped. So I might as well get drunk. One last time.”_

_Marigold felt blood rushing to her ears. Her heart pounding. “No,” she said, “no, it’s not true. You can’t die. You can’t.”_

_Claire huffed softly. “A few weeks, the doctor said. If it’s any consolation, I’d rather spend it with you than anyone else.”_

_Marigold said nothing. Her throat felt tight. Without thinking, she put her arms around Claire. Held back tears. Strong women didn’t cry._

_Claire curled into her._

“ _Okay,” Marigold said. “Let’s get drunk.”_

_\--_

_In two years, this was probably the first time Marigold had seen Claire this happy._

_It had been worth it just for that._

_She was more tactile than ever, Marigold found after they’d shared two entire bottles of wine._

_Marigold found she didn’t mind it nearly as much as she usually would._

“ _Why can’t life always be like this?” she lamented. “Good wine, good food, good friends. I just wish you didn’t have to die.”_

“ _Yeah, me too,” Claire said. She was snug in Marigold’s embrace; at some point in the past hour, they’d gotten intertwined, and now it seemed impossible to let go of each other._

“ _I wanted to see you grow up,” Claire said wistfully._

“ _Hey.” Marigold ran her fingers over Claire’s scalp. “I’m grown up.”_

“ _Mhm. But you have a lot to learn still, Mari dear.”_

_Their faces were close, almost touching. Claire held Marigold’s eyes, a fire in hers that Marigold hadn’t seen in years._

_Claire’s gaze flickered down to Marigold’s lips._

_And before Marigold knew what was happening, Claire kissed her._

_Marigold had kissed men before. Had been celibate – no sex before marriage. In truth, she’d never found any man she_ wanted _to have sex with._

_But she was drunk, and the woman she’d been fascinated with since her early teenage years was kissing her like there was no tomorrow and for all Marigold knew, there wasn’t, because Claire was going to die._

_When they pulled apart, Marigold had tears in her eyes. She hid them from Claire._

“ _I’m sorry,” Claire whispered._

“ _No, no,” Marigold said, turning to her. “No – no, it… it felt…”_

_She found no words._

“ _I’ve never kissed another woman before. At church, they say it’s sinful.”_

_Claire laughed into the hollow of Marigold’s throat._

“ _At Bridge club,” she said, “what kind of people did Azure tend to take home?”_

_Oh. “Women,” Marigold said softly._

“ _And Roxy, the people she called her partners. Where they all male?”_

“ _No,” Marigold said. Something clicked into place._

“ _All the women there –“_

“ _Yes, Marigold. All of them. Even you.”_

_Claire leaned in, tried to steal another kiss, but Marigold backed away._

“ _No, you- you’ve got it all wrong,” she said. “I’m not like that. I’m not! I’m straight. I’m_ normal _. I – I don’t want this.”_

_The fire in Claire’s eyes died._

“ _Oh,” she said. Let go of Marigold. Looked down._

_Marigold felt cold._

“ _I – I’m sorry, Claire,” she said softly, “I – I love you, but only as a friend. And I’ll take care of you until you die. I promise you.”_

_Claire nodded dimly._

“ _I’m leaving most of my fortune to you, as well as my personal wine collection,” she said. “My cousin is taking over the vinyard, it’s been in the family for generations. But you’re the closest thing to actual family that I have.”_

_Marigold nodded. She felt paralysed._

_Claire leaned in again, and Marigold hesitated only for a small moment before putting her arms around her._

_The kiss stood out as a vivid memory. Late at night, Claire came into her room and crawled under Marigold’s covers shivering and clinging to her like she had hundreds of times before. Claire got cold and scared and couldn’t sleep by herself. Marigold accepted it. Held Claire until her breathing evened out._

_Marigold didn’t sleep. Too caught up in the memory of that kiss, of the memory of Bridge club where every woman had had these desires, apparently._

_Claire telling Marigold she was one of them._

No. I’m normal. I’m straight. I’m not a sinner like them.

_And yet the memory of kissing Claire stayed with her for a long, long time._


	45. Act V - Chapter XI: Protecting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Act V, Part 2. Chapter numbering will continue as usual, though.
> 
> There's no content warnings for this chapter, but a small disclaimer: We decided at some point before writing this chapter that we wanted Ruby to be nonbinary, so they're written as such now, but weren't before. The transition in this chapter is a little awkward, so apologies for that.

 

It was a few days before the careers fair. At six pm, Ruby and Sapphire had made it to Rose's house.

"Are you... sure she is gonna want to talk to us? She seemed really awkward at the fair." Ruby gave Sapphire a look, tilting their head.

"That's why we have to make amends if there's any to be made. We're both concerned about her. She's dating Rose. Rose must have a stronger hold on this situation."

"I guess." Ruby knocked on the door.

 

 

Rose was, surprisingly, actually at home. It was rare these days. She was busy with classes, with organising the careers fair, and it was all getting too much.

It was Greg's fault, really, that she was at home; he'd insisted on her getting a quiet evening in, because she would overwork herself otherwise.

The knock on the door was a surprise to both of them.

"Are you expecting anyone?" Greg asked. Rose shook her head but went to answer the door anyway.

And frowned. That... was unexpected, to say the least.

"Ruby, Sapphire," she said, "I wasn't... expecting you. How do you even know where I live?"

 

They both looked at one another. Sapphire then answered. "I foresaw our visit."

 

"I find that hard to believe," Rose said, unimpressed. She'd known Sapphire for years; she liked to act mysterious, but was mostly just a normal girl. "Anyway, do you want to come in? I suspect there's a reason for this visit?"

 

Ruby rolled their eyes. "She's lying. I saw you when I was on a morning jog. We're here to talk about Pearl. If that's okay. And you're not busy."

 

 

"Surprisingly enough, I'm not very." Rose gave them a vague smile. "Come in, then. Do you want anything to drink? My boyfriend is over - if you don't want him to hear what you have to say, I can tell him to leave us be for a while."

 

Sapphire considered this for a moment. "Is he aware of what is happening to Pearl? Or does he not care?"

 

"He knows that Pearl and I are... close," Rose said. "He's never properly met her. I am confident that we can trust him, though." She closed the door behind the couple. "The living room is this way."

 

Ruby gently took Sapphire's hand and led her to the living room. They made their way to a couch near Greg.

"This may get a little heavy." Sapphire warned. "We're going to have to bring up some stuff we're really concerned over."

 

Rose sighed internally. More heavy things. Most likely concerning Pearl.

"That's okay," she said nevertheless. "I'm listening."

Greg looked between them, then got up. “I think it’s probably best if I leave you to it.”

Rose gave him a nod and a smile as he left.

 

"Pearl is hella vulnerable, yeah?" Ruby piped up after Greg had left.

"She said she had been in hospital recently. For a cautiously long time. And we know she's not too stable. So this entire deal with Diamond reeks of some sort of abuse of power. Because that unfortunately isn't something uncommon at this school."

 

"Indeed," Rose said. She knew she had to protect Pearl's privacy; after all, if that was all Pearl had told them, that was probably all she wanted them to know.

"I don't know if this will reassure you or not, but myself and several members of staff are keeping a close eye on her," she said cautiously. "You are definitely not the only one concerned about this situation. We're focussed on getting her out and keeping her safe."

 

"But Diamond could easily put you all in danger of losing jobs and getting hurt. We need to get Pearl out of harm’s way."

 

"Yes. And in all honesty, we need all the help we can get," Rose admitted. "In some regards, my hands will always be tied. I have Lazuli and Coach Jasper on my side, and Pearl's friend Amy. They're all involved with the school, though. Anything you can do would be greatly appreciated."

 

 

Ruby tapped their chin. "I might have contacts to some of the girls that saw us getting bullied by Diamond. Eye witnesses and that."

"Me too," Sapphire added. "If you need evidence of Diamond's misconduct."

 

"Any evidence would be very valuable," Rose said. "If you don't mind - you live close, don't you? I'm planning to organise a meeting outside school at some point - the week after next, most likely. For all of us to meet and discuss strategies. Lapis and Jasper have had some interesting input. Would you be up to coming to that, perhaps?"

 

Sapphire nodded. "We'd like to. If that's okay. I know we'd have to be careful about touching school matters as we're not really allowed to get involved."

 

"You're still allowed to have opinions and input and potentially find evidence against Diamond," Rose said. "And we need the help. It's not even just about Pearl - she's just the latest in a string of victims. You've been at the receiving end of Diamond's abuse... and you'll remember other cases. She needs to be stopped. For good."

 

"How do you propose stopping someone with so much power and so little breaking point?" Ruby crossed their arms. "We tried everything we could."

 

"You were just two students," Rose said. "No offense. But as students, your hands will always be tied by your dependency on your teachers. I could lose my job - as a student, you could've lost your futures. You nearly did." She sighed. "But I think we're getting closer. Suspicions and unrest amongst the staff are growing. If we work together, we might actually uncover something we can use against her."

 

"Like some form of underground rebellion," Sapphire murmured.

"I guess it would make sense that people would start giving a shit about queer kids now that gay is 'in'." Ruby turned their fingers into air quotation marks. "Could've done with it while I was fragile and young, too. But okay."

 

"Me too," Rose admitted. "But we're here now, and that's what counts - we have to use this momentum we're building. At first it was just about protecting Pearl... but it's bigger. Queer students and staff deserve this, to be rid of Diamond's oppression, and I feel like if we all work together... we might actually win."

 

Ruby looked and Sapphire and nodded. "Agreed. I'm game for whatever shit we're planning to start."

Sapphire took her digits into a relaxed peace sign. "I'm down for activism, I suppose."

 

"Great. I'm planning a get-together with everyone involved soon... after the careers fair at the school," Rose said. "Diamond put me in charge of that, so until it's over, I won't really have time or energy for anything. I doubt that was unintentional. She's kind of... on to me."

 

"How so?" Sapphire enquired, tone attentive. Interested.

 

"She's suspecting Pearl and myself of... inappropriate interaction." Rose blushed, remembering how Ruby had asked about this at the open day. "Nothing we're doing is illegal, and Diamond has no proof of anything, but she insists on terrorising me under the guise of protecting Pearl. All the while trying to manipulating Pearl against... just about everyone."

 

 

"We did notice she had a few... kind words to say about the Principal." Sapphire looked down.

 

"Yeah, she's been quite taken with her. It's rather worrying." Rose chose not to disclose the recent... intimacies between Diamond and Pearl. "Diamond can be very charming if she wants to be, and to a young, impressionable girl, I suppose she can be quite attractive."

 

"They're not fingering each other, are they?" Ruby made a little gagging noise.

"A little too obscene, dear."

"Sorry. I just say the first thing on my mind sometimes. But the question still stands."

 

Rose frowned.

"Not to my knowledge," she said. "Although, in fairness, it's not a completely illegitimate question. The question of the Principal's sexuality has been raised... numerous times now. Nobody has any proof - but if it turned out she was gay herself, that would certainly be some very good ammunition."

 

"Very homophobic closeted people do exist. But that's still more of a reason than an excuse for her behavior." Sapphire grasped at Ruby's hand. "I'd enjoy seeing her be brought to judgement for what she's done. Especially if she's hurting Pearl."

 

"It wouldn't be used as an excuse," Rose said. "But we could expose her for the hypocrite she is - if it actually is true. You girls have been at the receiving end of her homophobia - so you'd be valuable witnesses for that. Her own orientation... still remains to be determined."

 

Ruby frowned. "That's great but I ain't a girl."

Sapphire softly laid a hand on Ruby. "If that's all we should probably head off and leave you to your day."

 

"Oh! I'm sorry, Ruby, I didn't know. What pronouns do you use?" Rose said, a little surprised. "If you want to leave, you definitely can, I'm not going to stop you."

 

"They, or them. Thanks," Ruby replied drily. "I agree. I've got football later this afternoon and I might as well help them set up."

 

"Okay! It was lovely to see you both." Rose smiled. "I'll be in touch about things - are your email addresses still the same?"

 

Sapphire nodded. "You can use mine. I still check it sometimes. Use that email for my fifth backup role play account on Facebook."

 

Rose raised an eyebrow. "Fair enough," she said. "You two take care now, okay?"

 

They both got up to leave. Ruby gave a neat little salute. "Keep an eye on Pearl."

"I'm sure she already is." Sapphire tugged at her.

 

"I'm doing my best," Rose said as she accompanied them to the door.

She smiled. Those two were unlikely allies, but welcome ones. And really, in this fight, she wasn't exactly about to turn down any help.

 

\--

 

Aurora hadn't been sleeping well. She'd kept one reason or another away from Amy, but from a deep set of bags under her eyes, it was certain. She'd spent nights awake.

  
  
She'd called up her own dealer from high school - still glad the number worked five years now. Cannabis before bed had become a steady habit.  
  
But, from the quiet noises and the tosses and turns, it was obvious she wasn't sleeping well.

 

 

Amethyst woke up.

It was dark, so she assumed she still had a decent amount of time to sleep, but she was _hungry_.

Silently, she got up and made her way to the kitchen. The fridge light was blinding, but Amy fumbled about until she found something edible. A sweet yoghurt would do for now.

As she made her way back to her room, she heard a noise from Aurora's room.

The door was open just a slit, and Amethyst paused.

Listened.

There it was again. It sounded like Aurora was having a bad time.

"Rori...?" Amy asked quietly. Pushed the door open just a little bit.

Aurora looked asleep, but restless. Amethyst paused, unsure what to do.

 

Aurora twitched in her dream. Murmuring. Brows furrowing. And then she began to twitch, as if she was being pecked by crows. "No." She gasped. "No!"

 

"Rori!" Amy's voice was louder now, and she stepped forward. She approached the bed carefully. "Rori, wake up, it's okay!"

 

Aurora's eyes opened up, and she stopped squirming. She processed her surroundings and swallowed. "Did I wake you up?"

 

 

"Nah, just went and got some food and I heard you." Amy frowned. "Bad dream?"

 

Aurora looked dark. "Just the usual."

 

Amethyst understood. "Pearl," she said, "again?"

 

"With Marigold." Aurora’s eyes looked dull.

 

Not an uncommon occurrence. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

 

"It's inappropriate."

 

"Hmm." Amethyst held out her arms. "You want a hug at least? You know you can tell me, I'm a legal adult and everything."

 

Aurora took up the offer and shakily drew herself into Amy's arms. "They were doing things together."

 

 

Amethyst hugged her close. "Figured that," she said. "Anything else?"

 

"It's just. I'm so sick but I wish Pearl didn't want it so much in my head. Because she's lapping it up in my dreams."

 

Amethyst hesitated.

_She would. Let's be real._

Which, upon reflection, made Aurora's nightmares all the more terrifying.

She hugged Aurora more tightly, not sure what to say.

 

"She's playing right into Marigold's trap and... she likes it. Just the way I liked it." She balled her fists. "That wasn't for her to ever enjoy. That was mine. Marigold was never hers."

 

"It's just dreams, Rori," Amethyst said softly. "They're not really... doing anything." But after recent events... Aurora's fears were not unreasonable.

 

"But are you sure about that? Are you sure they're not really seeing each other in private. Touching each other?" Aurora’s voice turned raspy. "Look, it's just. I care about Pearl a lot. Intensely. And I... care about Marigold even more intensely. So this... this really fucking hurts."

 

"Do you think Marigold would... want Pearl like that?" Amethyst asked, frowning.

 

"Yes. To punish me."

 

"Hmm." It was tricky. "But I talked to Quartz. Surely she's talked Pearl out of this sillyness by now."

 

"You don't know that. None of us know what goes on in their heads."

 

Amethyst shrugged. "I do know that Pearl loves Quartz. Like, _really_ loves her. More than Diamond for sure, that's lust at most. And if Quartz threatened to break up with her over this or something like that, Pearl would stop. Instantly."

 

"But has she threatened to break up?"

 

"I don't know," Amy admitted. "But she was just as worried as me when I talked to her, so I'm sure she will have done what needs to be done." She sighed. "I'll talk to Pearl - I mean, I'll see her in the morning. Am gonna properly grill her. She's gotta tell me everything."

 

"That's still not it." Aurora turned away. "I mean. Yeah. Pearl being safe is the most important thing but..."

 

"What is it, then?" Amy asked, rubbing Aurora's back.

 

Aurora curled up. "I feel... left out. And jealous. More than anything."

 

"Hmmm." Amy's face fell. "Yeah, I dunno what to do about that. I don't suppose talking to Pearl is really an option for you just now. Or is it?"

 

"No."

 

"Hmm."

Amy yawned.

"Well," she said, "it's not exactly going to fix all of this, but I could sleep here for now. Cuddle you for a bit. Maybe that'll help keep the nightmares away?"

 

Aurora didn't turn. "Maybe. I haven't... I usually need to wake up before the other person and..."

 

"We don't have to, if you don't want to," Amethyst said at once, clocking in to the fact that Aurora hadn't slept - even just in the most innocent sense of the word - with anyone since Marigold. "But I'm not about to throw you out of the house."

 

Aurora was quiet for a little bit. Deep in thought. Completely still, before slowly turning back. "You can stay."

 

"Good." Amy smiled, then lay down, holding out her arms. "Big spoon or little spoon?" she asked with a small smirk.

 

Aurora considered this, too. In her mind, she connected the little spoon with the subject of drunken cuddles. Marigold's face resting in the crook of her neck. Big spoons were the desperate few hours before the sober sunrise. Before she'd leave.  
  
Marigold was never awake for either.  
  
She forced herself to smile. She liked Amethyst's hugs. "I'll be the little."

 

"Okay!" Amethyst pulled her down towards her and arranged herself around Aurora. Rori smelled nice.

"It's all gonna work out," she said, well aware that she was mostly just saying empty words. "I dunno how, but it's gotta."

 

 

"I know it will. It doesn't stop it from hurting right now."

 

"I know," Amy said. "Hence the cuddles. You comfortable?" She nuzzled the back of Aurora's neck, eyes already falling closed.

She realised she hadn't cuddled anyone like this since Pearl.

_How ironic._

 

"Yes. I can deal with this." Aurora sighed. "There's weed on the table if you want to wake and bake tomorrow."

 

"I got school so I probably shouldn't." Which didn't mean she wouldn't. Amy grinned. It was well known that certain students even went so far as bringing drugs into school. She breathed a content sigh. "Night, Rori."

 

Aurora closed her eyes. "Goodnight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have an insert for this chapter, too!
> 
> It mostly came out of us rping smut for Pearl and Marigold... so it basically represents Aurora's dream in this chapter. [Here it is!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7670068/chapters/23172372#main)
> 
> On another note, a little bit of promo-ing: Ronnie (sockseevil) drew Holly Blue Agate's gem room and gave an interview for Cartoon Universe and it can be found [here!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-85orTnkl0) Please check it out :)


	46. Act V - Chapter XII: Destructive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for mentions of abuse (physical and emotional) as well as self-harm.

 

For the first time since she'd started her job at the school, Peridot felt a sense of both genuine camaraderie and a welcoming feeling at the school. She had friends. Friends that kissed her and helped her make things. She'd even gone out with them; shopping with friends was something her mind had reserved for hot popular girls in teen movies. But now, she felt connected. Less like an alien.

She found herself coming to the realisation that she only spent a fraction of the time with Jasper, however, as she found herself waddling into a lonely staff room with only the coach an hour after school had ended.

"Jasper! Hi!"

 

Lapis had gone on ahead home, but Jasper was waiting up for Peridot.

"Hey, Peridot," she said with a smile. "How was your day?"

 

"Same old, same old." Peridot chuckled and made her way closer. "You guys busy tonight?"

 

"Not particularly, I don't think. Dunno if Lapis has plans, but she usually doesn't. You wanna come home with me?"

 

Peridot's face lit up like fairy lights. "Of course! Lemme just grab my lunch box." She'd begun to carry more in now that she actually cooked.

 

 

"Sure," Jasper said. "You need help with anything?" She stepped in behind Peridot, touching her shoulder lightly.

 

Peridot shook her head, but gave a grateful beam. "It's just a couple of things. How's your day been, Jasper?"

 

"Uneventful." She held out her hand for Peridot. "Shall we, then?"

 

Peridot glanced at the large palm and looked about before giving it a high five. "Let's go!"

 

 

_Oh._

Not exactly what Jasper had expected, but charmingly adorable.

"Yeah, let's," she said. "I'm not even sure why Lapis went home so early. She could've stayed and waited up for you."

 

Peridot merely shrugged. "Probably wanted to make sure Malachite wasn't lonely. Oh man, I'll have to ask mom to feed the guppies if I'm not going home soon."

 

"You wanna text her just now? I'll wait," Jasper offered.

 

She nodded and pulled out her phone. "Might text Lapis too and ask her if there's anything she wants."

 

"Sure."

Jasper watched Peridot type on her phone. She already knew Lapis's answer, though that answer might be different if it was Peridot asking.

The thought left a bitter taste in her mouth. She pushed it aside.

 

A few seconds later, Peridot cooed. "She only wants me to 'get my butt over', look!" She showed off the reply. "That's so sweet!"

 

Jasper frowned at the screen, forced a smile. "Yeah. Sweet."

 

"Well, I guess this means we can just get straight back to yours, right?"

 

"Yeah. You ready?" This time, the smile was a little warmer.

 

"I am now!" She nodded. "I should start work on my stall for the careers fair, though. I know Lapis isn't doing anything, but are you?"

 

So Lapis had talked to Peridot about the fair. "Yeah, I am," Jasper said. "Lapis knows... a person who regularly comes to the fair, and she has bad history with her, so she always avoids it."

 

Peridot blinked. "Huh?" She then frowned, tilting her head. "The reason she gave me was completely different."

 

"Oh? What'd she tell you?" This should be interesting.

 

"Nothing about anyone she didn't like showing up. Just that she'd... messed up her life choices? I can't remember much but thinking about it, it doesn't actually make much sense."

 

"Oh, that line. Yeah." Lapis used it to manipulate people... not exactly on a regular basis, but enough for it to be a pattern. "Close enough, if I'm honest with you."

 

"But... being a teacher isn't bad! I worked for years to get here and... yeah it's exhausting and kind of bad sometimes but... you get to teach what you love!"

 

"Well, it's not exactly Lapis's first choice." Jasper wasn't quite sure how much she wanted to reveal. Lapis would... do things to her if she said too much. So she shut up, chewing on her lip.

 

Peridot turned. "It wasn't?"

 

"Nah. Though you should ask her about that. It's not really my story to tell."

 

"That's just so weird because... I've wanted to be a teacher for physics since high school." Peridot paused. "Then again... I might be an exception. My story isn't exactly like everyone's"

 

"I'm glad you're in a job that you like, Peri," Jasper said. "Not everyone's that lucky."

 

"I don't know about that. Physics just was my special interest. I was bullied by my high school peers, if anything, I should hate this place."

 

"But you don't." Jasper cast her a look. "Do you?"

 

"I don't know. I have some students that remind me of them and it's hard. But then again, the only person who cared about me in high school was my physics teacher."

 

Jasper stopped.

On impulse, took Peridot by her shoulders and drew her in for a gentle kiss.

It was still... strange, kissing Peridot. But in a good way.

"They were all wrong," she said. "You're awesome."

 

 

Peridot blushed, not expecting it. But it wasn't unwelcome. "Physics was my special interest. They all thought I was weird."

 

"Imagine growing up as a larger than average black kid with weird patches on her skin who doesn't fit in with the girls because she's too buff and doesn't fit in with the boys cus she's a _girl_ ," Jasper said, a little bitter. "It can be so hard, finding a place where you belong. And kids are shitty. But you're awesome."

 

Peridot looked up at her, breath hitching. "I thought it was because I was too small. I tired to... build myself robotic limbs... to make myself taller. I don't know, it was delusional but I was a kid..."

 

"Kids will attack anyone who's different," Jasper said, "and we all find different ways of trying to fit in. I experimented with makeup a _lot_. Took me ages to accept myself the way I am. Robotic limbs, though. That's so cute."

 

 

Peridot looked down, lip trembling as if she was keeping a secret. "It's not. I hurt myself."

 

"Oh. Not so cute. Are you okay?"

 

"I... actually attempted to put them on."

 

"I'm assuming they didn't work." Jasper watched Peridot closely.

 

She took off her coat and softly pulled at her shirt to reveal her upper arm. It had several indents in the skin. "I was never good at biology. I thought I could fix it on like... some anime bullshit."

 

 

"Automail, hm?" Jasper almost smiled. She ran her fingers over the scars lightly. "Looks like it healed alright, though. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

 

"They had to be surgically removed."

 

_Oh._

Jasper swallowed.

"How old were you?" she asked.

 

"I started when I was ten. I finished them when I was twelve."

 

"Impressive," Jasper said, "even if you did hurt yourself - which isn't a good thing." She should know; she hurt herself, she still did, on a far too regular basis.

 

"I didn't want to get hurt. It seemed like a good idea."

 

"Hmm."

Jasper knew that feeling as well.

She'd been in the military.

"How did we even start talking about this?" she wondered aloud.

 

"Lapis." It seemed reason enough. "Tell me. Did you always want to teach?"

 

"No, I just sort of slipped into it. When I was a kid, my parents trained me to be a professional athlete." She half-smiled. "Didn't quite work out that way."

 

"It's made you so beautiful."

 

Jasper snorted. "It made me into a competitive asshole with anger management issues. But whatever you say."

 

"You're not an asshole. And you're beautiful."

 

"You're just saying that," Jasper said, almost automatically. She wasn't really used to her... personality getting complimented. Her looks, sure, but even Lapis told her she was an asshole.

 

"It's how I feel, though." Peridot shrugged.

 

"Hm." Jasper frowned. "What do you think of Lapis, then?"

 

"She's pretty and nice and kind. I... really like her now. "

 

In that case, Peridot was probably not the best judge of character. "You mean, despite the fact that she practically bullied you for the first half of this year?"

 

"...She didn't know it was hurtful."

 

"Oh, she usually knows what she's doing." There it was again, that bitterness. "She's just good at pretending to be innocent, that's all."

 

"Eh." Peridot shrugged. "I forgive her."

 

Jasper huffed. "Just make sure you don't forgive her _too much_." _Like I do_. Peridot was under her protection now. And if Jasper knew one thing, it was that she would _never_ permit Lapis to treat Peridot the way she treated Jasper.

It was a balancing act, because at the same time, she knew that Lapis would also never allow Jasper to treat Peridot the way she treated _Lapis._

How did someone so innocent get sucked into this mess of a relationship?

 

This answer confused Peridot, however. "But... I like Lapis. She's my friend. Why wouldn't I forgive her?"

 

Jasper sighed.

"I hope you don't have to find out for yourself," she said. "She does... a lot of fucked up shit."

 

"...Our Lapis?"

 

"Do you know another one?" Jasper frowned at Peridot.

 

"No, but... what has she done?"

 

Jasper hesitated.

Lapis would _not_ be happy. But then, Peridot was a part of their relationship now. Peridot deserved to know.

"She's manipulative," she said. "She plays on your insecurities and your mental issues. Or, well. Mine, I guess."

Her skin was starting to itch.

 

"She hasn't done that to me!" Peridot paused. "Has she?"

 

Jasper paused.

"Not that I know of."

 

"What does... she do?"

 

Jasper stopped walking. They were too close now, if she actually told Peridot about these things now, they'd be home before she got to finish.

She breathed deeply.

"Do you... really want to know?"

 

"Of course! You're my friend, too! I need to protect you!"

 

Jasper almost laughed at the idea of Peridot protecting her.

Tiny, innocent little Peridot.

Protecting _her_.

"Alright," she said. She could still tell her. See what Peridot would do.

(Leave Lapis? Oh god, Lapis would never forgive Jasper. Maybe this was a bad idea.)

"Promise me you won't... tell her I told you. Or let her know this ever happened. Or anything like that. She... she's gonna punish me if you do." She swallowed.

 

"I'll... see what I can do." It couldn't be that bad, right? She knew Lapis well, now.

 

Jasper took a deep breath. Let it out. Tried to stay calm.

She was with Peridot, and somehow, that made her feel more calm than if she was with Lapis.

"She... she can be the most loving and accepting and understanding person," she then said. "Until you do something she doesn't like, and then she... gets dangerous. Plays mind games. She knows me well enough now that she can... basically make me have a panic attack within minutes, and I'm powerless to stop it. And then she'll calm me down, because she's the only one who can... or was, until you came along. But I'd be exhausted and anxious and she'd be there, telling me she was the only one I could rely on and the only one who would ever be able to take care of me like this. And I... I have to be grateful, because she calmed me down."

 

Peridot stood still. Color draining from her face. Jasper was a lot of things. But she never came off as a liar. She couldn't be lying. Not with the tremor in her voice. That look in her eyes.

Peridot prayed it was all lies. She didn't want to believe it. "But... why would you... stay in that? You can... you can get out, right? You don't need her for everything... right? You're so strong and brave and sometimes scary."

 

"Oh, I can be plenty scary if I want to be." Jasper almost smiled. "But Lapis is scarier. She's... she's the real monster. And I can't get out, because... because I can't live without her. Not anymore." God knows she'd tried. And so had Lapis. "Wanna know what happened the last time I tried to break up with her?"

 

Peridot could only nod her head. "Yes. If you're...okay with sharing that. Only to help explain why you're in this situation."

 

Jasper closed her eyes.

"I got panicky on my own," she said. "Lapis wasn't there." All alone. Darkness and cold, nowhere to go. _'If you hate me so much, why don't you just leave!'_ Lapis had said. So Jasper had left.

And then it'd started raining.

"I... I couldn't bear it." She stared at her hands. "I... I attempted suicide. I woke up in hospital. Lapis was there. Not... not visiting me, no, she was on the same ward, for the same reason." Her mouth twitched. "In retrospect, it's kind of funny."

 

"Wow... I..." Peridot looked shaken. "Small world, huh."

 

Jasper smiled. "I suppose." Then she grew serious again. "We made a deal after that. We know our relationship is... all sorts of bad. But we're still better off together. So we don't break up with each other. Not anymore."

 

"I see. But... do you tell Lapis she's doing awful things to you?"

 

"No," Jasper said. "What'd be the point of that? You think she'd _change_? Stubborn as a mule, that one. And she really doesn't like being criticised."

 

"But... How's she meant to know boundaries... No. I can't blame you for anything in that regard. She should know better!"

 

Jasper's shoulders slumped. "The only thing I can think of is literally beating her up anytime she does it. Which... which I have done. She called the police on me once. And then bailed me out. It was... I'm not proud of it. Doing it means I'm even worse than her."

 

"You... really hurt her." Peridot looked up. Scared. "How... How often has it happened?"

 

"Too often to be comfortable with it," Jasper said, "but not for... months. At least not without her consent." Now, whenever she wanted to hurt Lapis, she just hurt herself instead. It was better.

 

"Her... consent?"

 

Oh. Peridot didn't know. Jasper hesitated, but then decided to be blunt.

"Sex," she said. "Where it's controlled and consensual and safe. I don't hurt her any more than she wants to be hurt."

 

Peridot was quiet for a bit. "I see. That does indeed happen in many relationships."

 

"What, sex or the hurting each other during it part?"

 

"Sex. Intimacy. All that... stuff. Not hurting. That's not good... unless you like it but that's an exception."

 

"Yeah," Jasper said. "You interested?" They hadn't really... talked about that before. Lapis and Jasper had kept their distance from Peridot in that regard, waited for her to make a move. This could be it.

"Though if you are, Lapis should be a part of this conversation," she added.

 

This wasn't like the kissing. Peridot hesitated. "I honestly... don't know. I mean. I like you two a lot and I think you're both wonderful but... I'm not sure if you guys even wanna see me like that."

 

Jasper smiled. "We're not sure you want to see _us_ like that," she said. "We can get... very intense. But we're not gonna make you do anything you don't want to. You just take your time to figure stuff out, and if you ever decide you do want to try it, we'll be there, yeah?"

 

"If anything... I'd want to see it. But that's not something people usually show off."

 

"Unless they like that sort of thing," Jasper said, grinning. "It could certainly be arranged. We could talk to Lapis about it when we're home."

 

Peridot blushed. "If you... think so."

 

"Yeah, sure." Jasper started walking again. They weren't far now.

"Are you... are you gonna tell Lapis all that stuff I told you about her?" she then asked quietly, suddenly insecure.

 

"I want to... help you. Both of you. But I can't do that without risking you, it seems. What do you want me to do, Jasper?"

 

"I dunno. Never bring it up ever and hope it disappears?" Jasper gave a half-smile.

 

"You know that's not right. For you, or her."

 

"Yeah," Jasper admitted. "But I can live with it. We have our little arrangement. It... works, I guess."

 

"Clearly it doesn't if I'm the first person to get you to calm down quick!" Peridot shook. "Lapis is doing wrong. A lot wrong. As are you but that doesn't mean either of you deserve to suffer. Abusive people... abusive as they may be, are... people too. Clearly you still want to be together despite your faults so why not work on that by communication?" She slumped her shoulders. "That's what I always fuck up, anyway. I can never get my point across without it costing me precisely three hundred and fifteen spoons."

 

Jasper smiled. "That's a lot of spoons," she said, but she knew what Peridot meant. "It's hard. Whenever we try... talking, we end up fighting. I think... the only time that wasn't the case was when..." She thought. "When you were around last time. Cus you guided the conversation and got us off each other's throats."

 

"Well yeah. I'm guessing it's what they do at couple's theraphy. Have you two considered that?"

 

"Tried that, didn't work." Jasper sighed. "Lapis played the victim, and our therapist sided with her. Almost got me thrown in jail. We're not gonna do that again."

 

"I see... so I've just got to not let her... do that. I can try. Is she gonna be at home before us? Wait, yeah... I'd say so. Unless you don't want me to do anything?"

 

Jasper's shoulders slumped. "I don't know how to bring it up without making a huge deal of things. She... she won't like that I talked to you about this."

 

"That's tough. I don't like the fact that you're both hurting."

 

"Can _you_ think of a way to bring it up that's not going to backfire on me, though?" Jasper asked.

 

"Catch her in the act."

 

Jasper hesitated.

"She won't do anything too drastic while you're around, though," she said.

 

"Can you...make her do something? Or is it completely uncontrollable?"

 

Jasper thought.

"I could provoke her. It might be a bad idea, though."

 

"I don't want to put anyone in danger. Can we control things so that everyone's safe?"

 

"I don't know," Jasper said. Though she appreciated how much thought Peridot was putting into this. "Do you have any ideas?"

 

"I guess me being there might help. Can you trust yourself not to take things too far?"

 

"With you, probably," Jasper said. "Lapis... not so much. She knows exactly how to push my buttons."

 

"Is there any way I can stop things from getting violent?"

 

Surprisingly, the answer to that was easy.

"Separate us."

 

"Physically? I guess I could try..."

 

"If we're in different rooms, I won't hurt her," Jasper said. "And give me a little while to calm down, and it'll be okay."

 

"Let's do that then. Are you ready?"

 

Jasper laughed darkly. "No," she said. "But I suppose you're gonna do it anyway."

 

"Hey, now." Peridot stopped. "I'm not doing anything without your consent."

 

This just drew another chuckle from Jasper. "You make it sound like I have feelings that should be respected."

 

"Don't say that. I need your clear consent." She softly pressed her hand into Jasper's. "Are you okay with me helping you?"

 

Jasper swallowed. Squeezed Peridot's hand gently.

"Okay," she said.

 

"Thank you." Peridot sounded solemn. "I'll do my best. You just... just stay safe. This isn't to make Lapis the bad guy or to trick her. I just want to see what her behaviour is like and see if she can maybe catch onto it."

 

"Okay."

Jasper sighed. They were nearly there.

"I don't wanna lose her," she said softly. "Ever."

 

"If that's the way you both feel then the best thing you can do is try and fix things, right?"

 

"I suppose. It's hard, though."

 

Peridot stopped to hug Jasper in the street. "Of course it is. But I'm here to help you!"

 

Jasper smiled and cupped Peridot's face gently.

"May I kiss you?" she asked. She usually asked, with Peridot. That was the agreement.

 

"If you want." Peridot smiled. "Don't mind if you do."

 

Jasper leaned in to kiss Peridot briefly.

Then curled her arms around her and pulled her into another hug.

"If this works," she said, "then Lapis and I owe you big time."

 

Peridot pressed her face into Jasper and gave half an inhale. She smelt comforting. She was warm. The spring had barely brought the sunshine back. "I make no promises. If anything, I want to... not believe you. You're both my good friends. You deserve better. Both of you. Than to be so destructive."

 

Jasper nodded.

Stayed in the embrace for a few seconds, then let go of Peridot, but held out her hand for Peridot to take.

"Let's go home, then."

 

 

 


	47. Act V, Chapter XIII: Meddling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reminder that we have [a blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)!!! Feel free to send us asks on there and reblog our stuff! We post updates there, as well as the occasional preview and sneak peek :p
> 
> Content warnings for this chapter: discussions of physical and emotional abuse.

 

Peridot took Jasper’s hand and let herself be led, anxiety broiling in her belly. Was this even the right thing to do? Would confronting it really keep them both safe?

 

Jasper, too, was plagued with anxiety. Part of her wished Lapis wasn't even there. But she knew that was too much to hope for.

As she unlocked the door, her hands were shaking mildly. Her skin was itching. She had to sit through this one, though. Had to keep her cool. Too much was at stake.

 

 

The second the door swung open, Lapis was there. Facing them down. "You're looking awfully close to one another in public."

 

Jasper's immediate instinct was to shoot away from Peridot, but she fought it down. Swallowed. "You were watching us?"

 

"Yeah. I could see you two down there. I was making dinner, duh." She then turned to Peridot, voice softer. "You alright? I also cleaned Malachite's tank over the weekend and gave her some new toys in there."

 

"Are you jealous?" Jasper said, more sharp than she usually would, but this... was a special situation. She was _trying_ to get Lapis mad. "I thought we had an agreement."

 

Peridot seemed interested, too. "Yeah. We were just having a moment."

"We talked about kissing before. Not having moments."

 

 

"Oh," Jasper said, "I didn't realise you had a monopoly on _moments_."

Lapis would not appreciate her tone.

 

"Would you mind giving us a minute alone, Peridot?" Her response was almost hollow.

"No, Lapis. I'm not going to leave you two."

Lapis' mockery of a smile fell.

 

Jasper got chills from Lapis's tone. Peridot seemed unfazed.

"Let's go sit down," she said, avoiding Lapis's eyes.

 

"Yes. Let's." Lapis gritted her teeth and Peridot could only hold up her brave face. "How was work today? I hope you two are okay with curry and rice. There's chicken in it, Jasper, don't worry."

 

"Fine by me," Jasper said, biting back a comment about how _considerate_ it was of Lapis to put meat into their meal. It was probably not good to be _too_ obvious about the whole thing.

 

Peridot gave Jasper a hopeful look and followed Lapis into the kitchen. "It smells great!"

Lapis looked smug. "Tastes good, too. If you like it, I'll give you the recipie to try at home."

 

"You don't even _like_ chicken," Jasper said, her earlier restraint slipping.

 

Lapis shot her a scathing look. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

 

"Nothing."

A brief look was all Jasper could manage. She was starting to get fidgety.

She hoped she didn't have a panic attack before Peridot got to do her thing. But Lapis's tone, her body language, had Jasper on edge.

 

Peridot prodded softly. "Why do you feel like she's trying to suggest something?"

"She just does sometimes to embarrass me and I've told her that I don't like it."

 

"I'm not trying to embarrass you," Jasper shot back. "Just pointing things out. It's not my fault you're so oversensitive."

Her heart was beating loudly, blood rushing through her ears. She wanted to scratch her skin where it itched, all over her body. She balled her fists.

It was going to be okay, she reminded herself. Peridot had this under control.

She hoped.

 

"Peridot. Please get out." Lapis’s voice was low.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

Lapis looked at them both. She then stomped to Jasper. "You told her shit, didn't you?"

 

Jasper found herself incapable of answering. Breathing was starting to get difficult. She avoided Lapis's eyes.

 

"What did you tell her?" Lapis pushed herself into Jasper's space, butting into her a little.

"Lapis, hey, back off. She didn't do anything!"

 

"I - I." Jasper tried to breathe. Couldn't. Lapis was too close. And now that she knew that she didn't have to suffer through panic attacks once she knew they were coming, she didn't want Lapis to be this close to her.

"Peridot." Her voice was low, helpless. She just wanted space.

 

Peridot nodded. "Lapis. Please. Look at yourself. Look at Jasper. You're scaring her."

"Scaring her?" Lapis turned around, finally allowing Jasper the space she needed. "She's been in the army. She's huge. She can hurt me and break my arms without a sweat. She can't be scared by me being so close."

"Are you sure?" Peridot kept her voice level. "Jasper, are... are you okay?"

 

Jasper was still trying to breathe.

Finding words was difficult, but with Lapis out of her space and Peridot showing quiet concern, Jasper found she could move.

She gestured towards the sofa by way of explanation and then sat down, burying her hands in her hair. Sharp nails digging. She just needed a moment.

 

"Lapis. I wanna talk to you alone. Jasper, can you... are you safe to be by yourself? Or do you want one of us to keep an eye?"

 

"I'll... be fine." Jasper secretly wanted to witness this, but she was in no state to do so. On her own, she'd be able to calm down. Probably.

 

"Maybe chilling out with Malachite might help, huh?" Peridot gave a thumbs up before turning to Lapis as Jasper left. "Can we... talk? Like real people."

 

Lapis was not sure what, exactly, was going on.

"I didn't realise we weren't real people," she said. "But sure. What's she told you?"

 

"A little about your relationship." Peridot sat down. "That was a... controlled experiment. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it and put you both at risk."

 

"An _experiment_?" Lapis frowned. Jasper would _pay_ for this later. "So what happens now?"

 

"Nothing bad. I just wanna... kind of talk about the way you treat one another. Feel free to sit down. I'm not interrogating you and I want to take your side."

 

Lapis reluctantly sat.

"So what, exactly, did she tell you?" she asked again.

 

"That was said with confidence to me. I'd quite like to focus on what just happened here, now."

 

"I don't see what there is to talk about," Lapis said. "She provoked me. On purpose? Yeah, that's kind of shitty."

 

"You appear to be jealous of something. Why?"

 

"Jealous? Did she tell you that?" Lapis scoffed. "She's my partner. I don't want her doing things I don't approve of. Is that so bad?"

 

"What did you disapprove of?"

 

"Her getting so close to you. I mean, a few weeks ago, she didn't even _like_ you. And now you're best pals, conspiring against me. How am I somehow in the wrong here?"

 

"We're not. And by no means are we conspiring against you. You are aware that Jasper also needs someone to vent to?"

 

"And why does that someone have to be you?"

 

"Why can't it be me?"

 

"Because!"

Lapis sought for an answer. She couldn't really find one that wasn't... selfish or irrational or bad in some other way.

"Because," she said.

 

"Because...? You feel possessive of me even though you can never truly possess someone." Peridot softly held Lapis' hands in a gesture of sincerity. "Because you've deluded yourself with just how well you've managed to control Jasper. But you don't want to tell me that because you're determined not to let me see you as an abuser."

 

Lapis took several seconds to take that in.

"What if," she said, "what if I just want to protect you? I know what she's like. She's hurt me before. I've had to call the police because of her. You don't know what she's capable of. And the only reason why I'm still here is because I learned to control her. Because I have to."

 

"I have to disagree. In our entire time knowing one another, despite her intentions and whatever intrusive thoughts, it's you that's made me feel the worst, the most, Lapis. And I'm not going to believe she's the aggressor just because she's a foot taller."

 

Lapis glared.

"You don't know her," she said, her voice shaking. "You don't know what she's capable of. But, by all means, get close to her, but don't come crying back to me when you're in hospital with a broken arm because she lost her temper and you had no idea how to control her. You have _no idea_ how to control her. This is the only way you can. It's not abusive, it's _necessary_."

 

"And what made you the decider of whether or not that's necessary? Has a professional told you to get aggressive at the slightest hint of jealousy or to constantly punish her for any wrongdoing?"

 

Lapis got up again.

"I don't need to listen to this," she said harshly. "I don't need you to tell me how to live my life, and I don't need you to tell me how to deal with my partner. You have no _idea_ what you're talking about."

 

"I appreciate that. I can leave. But I'd be happy to take Jasper with me."

 

Lapis's eyes narrowed.

"Jasper stays with me."

 

"I believe that's up to her to decide." Peridot swallowed. "Jasper! You can come back."

 

Jasper had, meanwhile, calmed down enough to regain her composure. A little anxiety remained. She didn't know what was going on with Lapis and Peridot, but she worried.

Because even if eventually, Peridot got Lapis to change - short term, it was very likely that Lapis was going to punish Jasper for this.

It had been a _bad idea_.

She sighed and came back. A little blood on her fingernails still telling of the fact that she had not had a good time. "What is it?"

 

"Do you maybe wanna come home with me? We could watch films and have dinner and let Lapis simmer down on her own. I'm sure mom won't mind."

 

What...?

"...without Lapis?"

The concept was... strange to comprehend. Jasper shot Lapis an uneasy look.

"I mean - I'd love to, but..."

Lapis looked back and forth between Peridot and Jasper.

"Why am _I_ the one who needs to simmer down? And what if I'm not okay with this?"

 

Peridot shrugged. "You don't control Jasper. If she wants to come with me, she's free to stick around for as long as she wants. I'm not going to kick her out into the rain, geeze."

 

Jasper's eyes widened, and she flinched at the mentions of being kicked out into the rain.

Lapis's eyes narrowed.

"What has she _told_ you!?"

 

"There's no need to raise your voice, Lapis." Peridot swallowed. "I'm not trying to meddle. I just want both of my friends safe and... it doesn't look like you are. If I leave now, I'm going to be scared that one of you is going to be really hurt tomorrow. So. If one of you wants space and a place where no one is going to manipulate or control or hurt you, I'm here."

 

"Well, you _are_ meddling," Lapis snapped. "And I don't like it. And for the record, I'm still Jasper's girlfriend, which means I should get a say in this. Right? That's how poly relationships work, isn't it?"

Jasper was back to scratching her skin. She didn't even make an effort to hide it this time. "It doesn't mean you get to decide who I do or don't hang out with," she said softly. "And I really want to go with Peridot. She's... she's right, you know. I don't feel safe with you right now."

 

"You're not going to be punished for whatever decision you make." Peridot swallowed and then looked at Lapis. "I'll make sure of that."

 

A thousand thoughts shot through Lapis's mind. She found herself cornered, unable to say any of them.

"Fine," she eventually said. "I don't care, just do what you want."

Jasper's shoulders slumped in relief. She walked over to Lapis.

Lapis watched her, warily.

"I love you," Jasper said softly. "That... that hasn't changed. And I want to be with you, and I want us to work things out. Peridot is only trying to help. I'll... I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Lapis hesitated for a very, very long moment, then leaned in and let Jasper kiss her.

 

Peridot could only watch. "You know that if it was you getting hurt, I'd be the first person to offer up my place for you, Lapis. But I can totally understand if you hate me because of this." She turned to Jasper. "Got any stuff you wanna take back to mine?"

 

Lapis sighed and sat down.

"I don't hate you. Either of you. I just... need to think," she said, her anger having left her like a deflated baloon. "You two have fun. Don't get up to anything too nasty."

"We won't," Jasper reassured her immediately.

Then turned to Peridot. "Yeah, lemme just grab a few things, I'll be right back."

She left, leaving Peridot and Lapis alone for the second time that evening.

 

Peridot couldn't find any words that weren't necessarily condescending or provoking, so she stood there, quietly.

Wondering if she really was doing the right thing.

 

The awkward silence hung. Lapis didn't quite want to look at Peridot.

Eventually, she did, anyway.

"You take care of her, alright?" she said. "And... and be careful. She can still be dangerous. I don't want you getting hurt."

 

"We'll be okay, I think. Maybe this will be helpful for both of you. Time apart." Peridot swallowed. Deliberating her words. "Having some time to yourself might be good."

 

"Maybe."

Lapis swallowed down her dread.

A moment later, Jasper returned. She was smiling. "I got everything!"

 

Peridot made herself smile. "Good! Looks like we're ready to roll." She padded over to Lapis. "I'd offer you a hug but... I don't know if you even want to look at me. Just... please understand me when I say that... I could be a good friend and not stir anything and not think about it. But... I think it takes an even better friend to call you out and help you fix things. Even if it hurts."

 

Lapis clenched her jaw.

"Stop," she said. "Just... stop. Go. I don't want your... just go."

Jasper stared at Lapis. Blinked.

"Alright then," she said, "C'mon, Peri."

 

"I can get us a taxi!" Peridot smiled and pulled out her phone. "And I should better call my mom to tell her to lay an extra plate. Oh, this is so exciting!"

 

The door fell shut behind Jasper, and Jasper let out a deep breath.

"I just hope she's gonna be okay," she said, looking back at the closed door.

 

"She would call you if she wasn't, right?" Peridot asked, tugging at her sleeve. "Come on, mom really wants to meet you. Do you want to share a bed or for me to sleep on the futon?"

 

"I don't like sleeping alone," Jasper said, "but you don't have to." She smiled at Peridot. "This is going to be fun, right?"

 

"Oh, hell yeah! I've been building my classic NES collection with my paychecks. We could play. And we could buy some... beers on the way back, if that would make you feel more at home!"

 

"That... that would be nice," Jasper said, holding out her hand for Peridot. "Thank you."

 

"Of course. Anything to help you out."

 

 

 


	48. Act V - Chapter XIV: High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings for this chapter. Enjoy!

It was the morning after Aurora's dream, and Amethyst came to school only a little bit stoned.

She found Pearl before the first lesson.

"Yo," she said. "Got a minute?"

 

"Oh! Amethyst!" Pearl smiled. "Sure. What's up? Oh, Goodness, you smell of green. Up to no good, and without me? Rude."

 

"Shit, is it that obvious?" Amy blushed, self-conscious. "What can I say, Rori had the stuff and told me to help myself so here I am. You ok?"

 

"I... guess. I had some words with the Principal. She, uh. Told me some things."

 

"Oh?" This should be good. "Gimme the beef."

 

"Aurora's gay." Pearl’s voice sounded numb.

 

"...oh." That went in a completely different direction than expected. "Wait, you didn't know that?"

 

"You. Knew." Pearl looked at her. "She was always just. So perfect and better than me. I guess I just put me being a lesbian into another one of the things that made me the screw up faggot next to her and Blue."

 

Amethyst was speechless.

But only for a moment. "...You know Blue's gay too, right?"

 

Pearl turned to her slowly. "You missed April fools by a week, Amy. Good one, though."

 

"You're... joking. Right? You gotta be. You know Blue's been dating a woman for like three years, right? Holy shit, doesn't Rori tell you _anything_?"

 

"No?" Pearl looked flabbergasted. "Blue used to call me a queer and tackle me a lot because she... read my vent blog when I was younger... oh my god she was doing it because she was trying to tease me."

 

"Oh jeez. Really? Welp, there's your fun facts for the weekend. None of you are straight! And you had no idea." Amy sighed. "Sorry, I really didn't realise you didn't know. I always thought it was, like, super obvious, just from like, talking to Rori."

But that was also because Rori talked about Marigold. A lot. It was impossible to miss, and also not something Amy was going to tell Pearl about.

 

"And everyone... but me knew?"

 

"I... guess so? I don't think your parents know about Rori, but they definitely know about Blue. Rori doesn't exactly tell people, it's just cus we're..." Amethyst hesitated. She knew that her being close to Aurora upset Pearl. "Friends," she finished.

 

Pearl stiffened at this. Suddenly, Marigold warning her of Aurora and Amy's friendship coming too close made her stomach turn. "Are there other things I don't know, then? Or is the world done with leaving me out of things altogether?"

 

"Oh. I'm sure there's loads of things you don't know." Amy smirked. "Such as where the edge of the universe is, or whether we'll ever meet aliens, or why everyone in our immediate friend group has such suspiciously gemstone related names. Seriously though, you ever wonder about that?"

 

"Many times, Amethyst. But we're going to put a pin in that." Pearl curled her fists. "I'm. I need to go, I think."

 

"Go where. We got class together, remember?" Amy nudged Pearl with her elbow. "You okay?"

 

"I feel sick." It wasn't a lie.

 

 

"Oh boy. You need to go to the bathroom? I'll come with ya." Amy linked their arms. She had no idea where Pearl's sudden distress was coming from; all she knew that Pearl wasn't feeling good, and she needed to help because... she loved her.

She was still high enough not to freak out at that realisation.

 

Pearl didn't pull away. The bathroom they entered was lonely. Spit balls dripped from the ceiling and suicidal graffiti plastered the walls in sharpie. "I feel. Jealous."

 

"Oh? Of who?" It was... odd, really, because Rori had told her last night that she was feeling jealous too. Left out.

_Really, these two should be talking to each other._

 

"You and Aurora. How close you are. I... shouldn't have ever let you two meet because now I can't separate you and you've got your own special thing. And if I make you let go of it, I'd be a controlling asshole and... a bad friend. Because you'd be miserable."

 

_Oh._

On impulse, Amethyst came in and hugged Pearl.

"You don't need to worry," she said, "we're just friends. And really instead of wanting to separate us, you should really try to get closer. To her especially. We love you, Pearl. We really, really do, both of us, and we'd be more than happy to have you be a part of this. You know how many times I've wanted to invite you round? And Rori - Rori _misses you_. And honestly, most of the time when we're talking, we're talking about you." Or Marigold. But mostly Pearl.

 

"But it makes me so scared that you're going to get into some kind of relationship. And that part isn't so bad. I couldn't care less if you dated someone else, as long as it made you happy. But I'm scared it would also make me lose you."

 

"You're silly." On impulse, Amethyst came in and kissed Pearl's cheek. "I don't even like her in that way. And Rori's way too hung up over..." Whoops. "The person she. Uh. Used to see. She doesn't even have space in her head to be thinking about anyone else in that way."

 

"You sure? Because your friendship is moving awful fast. Almost like you're her favourite person or something."

 

"Nah, I just happen to be one of, like, two people she can actually talk to about a bunch of stuff. And we're living together. We're just friends. I'm sure."

 

Pearl looked relieved. "If you're sure. I'm sorry I'm so suspicious of shit. It's just a part of this stupid mental health issue I have."

 

"Eh, that's fair," Amy said. "Honestly, I'd probably much rather be dating you than her." Whoops, she hadn't exactly meant to say that out loud. She blushed furiously. "I - I mean!"

 

Pearl only giggled. "Shh. You're stoned, silly. Don't you know that loose lips sink ships?"

 

Amy pouted. "I still don't even know what your whole deal is with Quartz and that poly-thingy-stuff. Or if you even like me like that. But kissing you was nice, that one time." She should probably stop talking now.

 

"Of course I like you like that. But I... I don't know. I'm just waiting for all this shit with Diamond to blow over so that I can not live in fear, thanks."

 

Oh. Oh yeah, Diamond. Amy suddenly remembered that she had an agenda. "So what's the deal with you and Diamond anyway, huh? I saw those texts you sent to Rori. Did you just send them to wind her up or did something actually happen?"

 

"A bit of both. She got really close to me and I spun it so that Rori would feel bad. But... I had this talk with the coach. She put me in the right state. I've been such an ass."

 

"Yeah you have," Amy said bluntly, "Rori had like three panic attacks because of this. You have no idea how much you mean to her, do you? But anyway, so Diamond's gonna keep her filthy paws off you, that's the bottom line, yeah?"

 

"I've asserted that I don't want anything to do with her, but... I don't know. I'm a little worried."

 

"Why? You think she's gonna do something?"

 

"Exactly that. Something about all this just... rubs me the wrong way."

 

"Hmm." Amy hugged Pearl again. "I'll protect ya. And Quartz, too, probably, and Coach if she had that chat with you. Diamond isn't gonna get to you."

She checked her phone: they were already late for class. "Wanna skive the first lesson and go chill somewhere? What is it. Maths?"

 

"Leggy isn't going to notice us missing. Let's go to the park. Do you have any bud on you?"

 

"Sounds good. Yeah, should do," Amy said, digging through her bag and pulling out a grinder and a small baggie. "I know how to roll decently now. Let's go." She hid the stuff in her pocket and grabbed Pearl's hand before opening the bathroom doors.

She noticed a figure standing at the end of the corridor and drew back.

"Oh, fuck. Speak of the devil." She shot Pearl a look. "She's here."

 

"Shit," Pearl whispered. "Just walk. Act... not high."

 

Diamond had spotted them. Her eyes narrowed as Amethyst tried to slip out unnoticed.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" Her voice echoed through the corridor. She saw Pearl and Amy holding hands. Rage boiled in her stomach. "Get away from each other. I will not allow such depravity."

 

Pearl didn't let go. "She's supporting me to the front desk. I feel ill."

 

"Not too ill to walk on your own, surely?" Diamond said coldly. "You look just fine to me. I know what you are, Pearl, and I will not allow it."

Amethyst tugged Pearl's hand. "Let's just go," she said.

 

Pearl shot a glare at the principal and let go. "Fine."

 

Diamond smiled smugly. "That's more like it. And Pearl? If I don't find you've handed in a doctor's note for this, I'll make sure your teachers know you were skiving."

 

"And I'm sure Ms Quartz will give me a harsh bollocking." Pearl mocked a deep nod. "I'll see you later!"

 

Diamond was seething.

"If she doesn't, I'll have another disciplinary in store for her," she said. "Not get out before I find a reason to put a bad mark on your record."

Amy grabbed Pearl's arm and all but ran for it.

 

By the time they'd left the school grounds, both were out of breath and Pearl was losing it. "Did you see her FACE? Oh, thank goodness you were there, too. I would have been terrified if I was alone."

 

"Jesus fuck, yeah, I don't blame you. Was she _serious_?" Amy let out a deep breath and reached out to hold Pearl's hand again. "We're not even dating. Wait, does she know you're gay?"

 

"I... may or may not have let it slip when I indirectly called her a cunt. To her face."

 

"Oh, shit." Amy grimaced. "Probably not the best move. But oh well, let's just head to the park and get stoned and forget all about her. Alright?"

 

"Yeah." Pearl took her hand again. "I don't fancy her anymore. I'm kind of grossed out at myself for even liking her."

 

"Good to know you've come to your senses," Amethyst said. "Now let's find a good place to roll."

 

The park was only a few minutes by foot. Pearl held onto Amethyst's hand the whole journey, constantly looking over her shoulder.

 

"She's not gonna follow us, dude," Amy said. "Look, we're here. You can chill." She squeezed Pearl's hand and then looked around. "There's a bench there. Not many people around, that's good." She pulled Pearl in the direction of the bench and then took out her stuff.

 

"How much you got?" Pearl tilted her head, Amethyst was right. It was only morning. Barely anyone outside of occasional dog walkers seemed to even exist.

 

"Enough," Amy said and started to roll. Ever since Aurora had started smoking regularly again, Amethyst had gotten pretty decent at rolling.

A little later, a joint was rolled. "You wanna light up?" Amy asked Pearl.

 

"The honour shouldn't be mine, but sure. I need it. I can't get any replies from Ronaldo - my dealer - anymore."

 

"Dang, I hope he's alright," Amy said, then passed the joint to Pearl. "You got a lighter?" she asked.

 

"Oh yeah, he's a bit weird sometimes. Last time he dealt to me, he wore a fedora and I'm not sure about going back."

 

"Aw man, that's rough," Amy said. "I can get Rori to get more - apparently she's got her dealer from high school back, and if that guy's been around that long I can't see how this could possibly go wrong. Anyway, let's bake."

 

"Whatever fixes this mood." She sighed and lit up, taking a drag.

 

Amy watched, realising a little too late that it might be a bad idea to get high with Pearl again.

Oh well. She decided that for now, she didn't give a shit, and held out her hand for the joint.

 

Pearl passed after a couple more hits. "Oh. Mm. Yes, this is better than Ronaldo's stuff."

 

Amy chuckled and took a hit. "Good," she said. Took another, ashed the joint and passed it back.

 

"What's it like? Y'know... Living with her. Does she at least cook good? She used to make me macaroni and chicken stock when I was a kid and it was so salty and buttery... not healthy at all, but. Sometimes I make it for myself."

 

"She's decent," Amy said. "I do quite a lot of the cooking, though. You know, to make up for the fact that I leave mess everywhere and she's, like, constantly cleaning up after me. It works."

 

Pearl took a deep inhale. "I see. And she's been good to you?"

 

"Yeah! It's way better than living with my parents. The most she does is get a bit pissy when I make a mess but that's fair enough, to be honest." Amethyst took the joint and took another hit. She was already feeling it.

 

Pearl swayed a little, eyes drooping. "I suppose that's pretty good. You deserve some peace."

 

"Yeaahh," Amy said. "Cmon, sit down, you're gonna hurt yourself." She reached out and pulled Pearl close; Pearl ended up on her lap. "Whoops."

 

Pearl could only laugh. "Um, excuse me. A date would be nice first."

 

 

"I thought we already had one of those," Amy said. "Well, it was months ago, but."

Up close, she had to notice once again just how _pretty_ Pearl was.

She swallowed.

 

"Well, then. I suppose that means I'm all yours."

 

Amy chuckled.

"Does that mean I can kiss you?" she asked.

 

Pearl leaned down and kissed her in response.

 

Amy smiled into the kiss and curled her arms around Pearl, pulling her in closer.

"I missed this," she murmured against Pearl's lips. "I missed _you_. I - I'm sorry I'm so weird about this when I'm sober. I just... I dunno. I can't even explain it."

 

"Don't care. I just. Want you to be alright. And not scared. And happy."

 

"Okay," Amy said and kissed Pearl again. "Feel free to slap me if I'm stupid about this again. I don't wanna be. I've just never had anyone I could do this with before."

 

"It's why we need to appreciate each other, Amethyst. Because not many people have this."

 

Amethyst nodded and kissed Pearl again.

"So, now that I'm high and don't care about shit," she said, "you wanna tell me about you and Quartz?"

 

"Oh geeze. There's honestly not much to tell. We kiss. We hold hands and share awkward moments and it's stable and nice. I just can't show or tell anyone I'm dating her."

 

"That sucks, man," Amy said. "But at least you'll be able to do that after graduation, right?"

 

"I hope so. Sometimes I'm just worried that... she isn't taking us all that seriously."

 

"She adores you," Amethyst said. "I mean, I get _jealous_ of how much she loves you. You got nothing to worry about, in my opinion."

 

"I guess. I just. Can't help the paranoia sometimes."

 

"Have you talked to her about it?"

 

"Not yet. Maybe later. I just want to cool down and not think about the fact that our exams are like two months away."

 

"Oh god, don't remind me." Instead, Amethyst kissed Pearl again. Pulled her in closer and deepened the kiss. She wasn't sure whether she would be able to kiss Pearl like this later, so she was determined to make the most of it.

 

Pearl opened herself into her part of the smooch and tasted Amethyst's mouth before pulling back. "Weed smell."

 

"No shit." Amy just pulled Pearl back in and kissed her again.

 

Pearl giggled into the kiss, the world turning a little blurry as she happily made out. "I love you, Amethyst."

 

"I love you too," Amethyst said happily.

She wasn't so sure if that would still be something she'd readily say when sober, but for now, she was determined just to enjoy herself.

 

"Are you sure no one is watching us?" Pearl asked, bringing her weight down on Amethyst's crotch.

 

"I dunno, someone could come at any moment." She looked up at Pearl. "What... do you want to do?"

 

Pearl shrugged, pushing her hips down a bit. "Just mess around. Relax."

 

"Okay." Amy kissed Pearl again, her fingers in her hair. It was okay. She just wanted to feel Pearl.

 

Pearl ground down a little. "Is this alright? You feel good right now."

 

"Yeah." Amy let her hands slip down, holding Pearl's torso, her waist. "Just kinda wanna go somewhere... warmer. More comfortable. Private." She had no idea where they'd find a place like that.

 

"Aurora's at work, right?"

 

"Yeah, but it'll take ages to get there," Amy complained. "What about your parents? You don't live far, right?"

 

"They're not at home." Pearl nodded. "We could. Go to mine. I've got some ciders in the fridge too. And a box set of friends."

 

"I got some more weed, too," Amy said. "Let's just take the day off. Who cares about Diamond or anything, I just wanna spend time with you." She kissed Pearl again.

 

And Pearl kissed back. Taking her hand. "Let's go. I want to touch you. I want to show you things."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have an insert for this chapter... ;)
> 
> You can find it [here!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8908588/chapters/23557740)


	49. Act V - Chapter XV: Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have a few chapters of Act 5, Part 2 left before we hit Act 5, Part 3 (this isn't quite as Homestuck anymore...) which will be the final part for Act 5. Hope you're excited!
> 
> Content warning for this chapter for blood, self-harm, and discussions of abuse and manipulation.

 

Lapis Lazuli was not having a good evening.

First, she was brooding and angry over what Jasper and Peridot had said. Silently seething that they were working against her. More than once, she was on the verge of calling Jasper, _demanding_ she come back here so Lapis could let her foul mood out on her.

She didn't. Instead, she let the conversation play out in her head again and again.

_You're an abuser. You're possessive. An aggressor. Jealous. Abusive. Abusive._

Dinner was left to grow cold; she barely managed to remember to feed Malachite.

And when it was time to go to bed, Jasper wasn't there.

She tried sleeping anyway. It didn't work. More than once, she drifted off, only to be abruptly shaken awake by bad, bad thoughts, thoughts that scared her.

That, in itself, wasn't unusual.

But usually, Jasper was there to protect her. And if she wasn't, it was because Lapis was angry at her and had ordered her to stay away.

Tonight, she was just... gone, and Lapis couldn't even call her back.

In the dark, everything was creepy and scary. At night, every bad deed she had ever done came back to haunt her.

_An abuser. Violent. Aggressive. Jealous. Possessive. Controlling. Manipulative._

_Jasper..._

What if Jasper left her? What if Peridot did?

Jasper's kiss, her promise, meant nothing. Peridot was better for Jasper. Jasper was better off without her.

_Monster. You're a monster._

Jasper called her a monster sometimes. Lapis hated it.

Hated it, because Jasper was right. She _was_ a monster.

 

At around four in the morning, Lapis was bleeding from just about every part of her skin that she could reach, and nothing was okay.

She hadn't hurt herself this badly in years, and part of her considered calling an ambulance.

She didn't. Instead, when she picked up her phone, her fingers found Jasper's number.

She needed to apologise, at least.

 

Jasper, meanwhile, had been cautiously optimistic and pleasantly surprised. Peridot was indeed a collector of vague nineties themed gadgets and gear and appeared to own more box sets of old television than articles of clothing. But no amount of bullet hell games or ordered in pizza had elevated the cloud of concern that this would be over. The cheer. The fun. She needed to be punished by Lapis. That always happened. She would soon wind up home.  
  
She couldn't sleep. Peridot had ended up passed out and cuddling her- seemingly able to actually rest on command. Jasper wished she had that privilege.  
  
Until her phone rang. She considered being cruel and giving Lapis a taste of her medicine. But she couldn't.  
  
"Lapis?"

 

 

Lapis almost hadn't expected her to pick up.

Her heart was racing when Jasper did, and she heard that familiar voice. A deep ache in her chest and a tightness in her throat. Lapis clenched her teeth.

"I -"

She had no idea what to say.

"I'm sorry," she said.

 

"I don't want to accept it right now. I think I need more time." Jasper swallowed. Guard up to manipulation. "I'm starting to realise that... yeah. You're. Terrifying sometimes."

 

_I'm a monster. A horrific abusive person._

"You... shouldn't... come back," Lapis whispered. "I - I hurt you too much, you're better off without me."

 

"Why are you even calling me." Lapis sounded too fragile. Too frail. Jasper's eyes widened. "You're... you're safe, right?"

 

"No. But that doesn't matter. I don't deserve..." Lapis stopped. _Don't deserve help. Don't deserve safety. Don't deserve love._

"I should go. Sorry. I'll let you sleep."

 

"Are you going to be alive when I wake up?"

 

A long silence.

"I don't know."

 

"What have you done?" Jasper’s voice felt trapped. It was barely a whisper.

 

"Nothing. It doesn't matter." _I don't deserve it._ "I shouldn't have called. I'm just manipulating you again. I'll go."

 

"Stay. Please. I... I'm worried, Lapis. You know I'll blame myself."

 

"But you didn't do anything wrong," Lapis said. "You didn't, I'm just mad because - because you left without me telling you to and - and - and..." She stuttered to a silence. To her dismay, tears were starting to gather in the corners of her eyes. She clenched her teeth, forced them back.

 

"I'm tired of you controlling me," Jasper said.

 

"I know," Lapis whispered. "I know, and you - you have every right to be and I shouldn't - I shouldn't - I'm a monster. I don't deserve you. I'm a monster."

 

"Okay, that's enough. You... we can talk about this. This doesn't need to end with you in suicide. But... I don't know. I don't want to give you an ultimatum but... I feel we should try something again. Because I feel healthy when I'm with Peridot. And terrified and scared often when I'm with you."

 

_She should just leave. I'm not good for her. I'm abusive._

Lapis swallowed. Fought down her tears.

"What... do you have in mind?" she asked softly.

 

"Just something. Anything. There's got to be a way to work this out because... I love you. And I know... I know the reasons you do your things. And I can't just leave you because I want to help you. Because... I don't want to kick you out of my life at all."

 

"You... don't?"

Lapis took a deep breath.

"I... don't know what to do," she said. "I - I don't want you to leave but I keep hurting you. I... you'd be better off without me."

 

"That's only true if you're not willing to work on yourself."

 

"What if I can't?"

Lapis's blade was still out.

"I have no idea how to be different."

 

"Maybe not on your own. But who knows? Maybe we shouldn't throw out hope yet. You know that if you're gonna die, I'm going to, too. And that's going to leave Peridot alone. And the lizard."

 

"You don't have to die. You could look after Malachite. And Peri, too. She's healthy for you."

 

"I can't live without you."

 

"Yes you can, silly. You're strong. You have Peri. You don't need me."

 

"What if I killed myself first?"

 

" _No!_ " Lapis called out, louder than intended. "No, you can't do that, you're - you're special. You're my wonderful gorgeous girl and - and - and I don't want to hurt you anymore. I don't want to hurt you, Jasper."

 

"Then please realise that the worst possible thing you could do is kill yourself."

 

"Okay," Lapis said, trying to breathe, "okay. Okay. I won't. I won't. But... but maybe it's better if you stay away for a while. I don't want to hurt you."

 

"I'll find you dead."

 

"Maybe you won't." Lapis couldn't make that promise and Jasper knew it. "But I can't risk hurting you."

 

"I repeat my earlier sentiment."

 

Lapis hung her head. Part of her tempted to hang up and hurt herself more. "I don't know what to do. This is the only thing I _can_ do. I'm not a healthy person."

 

"Or you can stay on the phone with me. Until it passes. And I can keep you safe."

 

"No," Lapis said softly. "You shouldn't have to look after me when I've been the one abusing you. I... I can't do that to you."

 

"So what do you want me to do? Let you die? I thought I just told you that I would, too."

 

Lapis closed her eyes.

"I shouldn't have called."

 

"No. Please. Stay," Jasper creaked.

 

Lapis breathed in. Breathed out.

"It's not your job to keep me alive, my love," she said softly. "I've already done so much to you."

 

"But I love you." Jasper was getting frustrated. "You can't just... just go."

 

"I'll be okay." Lapis finally, finally allowed a single tear to slip down her face. "I'll call an ambulance. I'll be okay. It's not your job to look after me."

 

"Can I call it for you? Just to know that you're... You're safe."

 

Lapis’s shoulders slumped.

"Okay."

A short pause.

"I wish you were here."

 

"I can come back."

 

Lapis swallowed.

"Only if you want to," she whispered.

 

"Will you be safe if I hang up to travel home?"

 

"Maybe. I'll try." Lapis sniffed, immediately regretting it. She didn't want Jasper to know she was crying. "What are you going to tell Peridot?"

 

"There's no maybe about it. Either you're safe or I'm not hanging up until I'm home."

 

"How long will it take you to get here?"

 

"Half an hour. I can run."

 

"You'll be faster if you hang up," Lapis said. Just an observation. "I'll be okay."

 

"Can you at least text me? To let me know you're okay."

 

"Okay." Tears were falling faster now. "Thank you," Lapis whispered.

 

"I'll... I'll text you when I'm halfway there. And call me if it gets worse. I'll be there."

 

"Okay."

Half an hour was a long time. Lapis opened her eyes. They focused on the blade. "I'll be okay."

 

Jasper nodded. "I'm going to hang up. But Lapis, please, promise me something."

 

"And what's that?"

 

"I'll find you alive, right?"

 

"Yes." Lapis swallowed. "I promise."

 

"I love you."

 

"I love you too."

She hesitated, letting her hand with the phone sink down. Waiting for Jasper to hang up.

 

Jasper did. And found Peridot staring at her. Jasper coughed. "He-hey there, sleepyhead! I didn't... how much did you hear?"  
  
"You're going."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Peridot only shrugged. "I only wanted you to get safe. Thanks for the evening, though. You're really fun to hang with. You're gonna be okay... Right?"  
  
Jasper got up with a determined nod. "You'll see us at school. I'll be... I'll be okay. Thanks for protecting me. I think... it helped." She kissed Peridot's forehead and left the room.

 

Lapis was hurting herself. Not badly. Just adding a few cuts to the ones she already had.

This meant long sleeves probably for most of the summer, she realised.

She didn't care. It kept her from doing worse things to herself.

Her eyes were on the clock. Ten minutes after Jasper had hung up, she texted her.

_I'm still safe. I love you._

 

Jasper looked at the text immediately.

_Keep it that way. I'll see you in a bit. Hold on._

She began to run faster. The morning streets were odd. This a few hours before her usual jog time. She felt like a part of an incompletely loaded game. The world was only partially real and the only thing that mattered was getting home.

 

 _She's coming,_ Lapis thought. _She's coming home._

She put the blade away and cleaned up her cuts as far as she could. She was only wearing underwear, but Jasper wouldn't care.

All she wanted now was to be in Jasper's arms.

 

And Jasper did. She pressed on the buzzer no less than eight times, begging for Lapis to let her in. But even then, something felt different. She found herself with a strength in herself. A discipline that hasn't been there before. She swallowed. She needed to find Lapis.

 

Lapis jumped to get the buzzer as soon as it rang. Buzzed the door open for Jasper and left the front door unlocked before going back to the bedroom. Jasper would find her.

 

And Jasper did. She paced up the stairs, drenched in sweat as she found herself home. "Lapis? Lapis!" She ran to the bedroom. "Lapis!"

 

Lapis found herself unable to look at Jasper.

"You actually came," she whispered.

 

"You're hurt." She was dripping blood onto their bed. Jasper spied the cuts under the streetlight that came from outside. "You cleaned them up?"

 

"Yeah." Lapis still avoided Jasper's eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

 

"Do you need to go to hospital?"

 

"I'll be okay. You're here now."

She hesitated.

"Jasper," she said, "come here. Please. I need you."

 

 

Jasper nearly found herself hesitating but then realised it would be all too cruel. "I'm here," she whispered. "I'm here. I'm not going to go unless you hurt me again."

 

"I won't. I won't." Lapis knew that she couldn't make that promise, but she did anyway, because she _needed_ Jasper. Needed her to take care of her because without her, who did she have?

_It's my own fault. I hurt everyone. Everyone leaves me because I'm a horrible person._

She reached out for Jasper, pulled her into a hesitant kiss.

 

Jasper let herself be kissed, but didn't act much herself, holding Lapis in her arms. "We're gonna fix things, yeah?" She said. "I don't want to lose my best friend."

 

Lapis pulled back, hiding her face in Jasper's shoulder. Breathed in that familiar scent. Jasper was sweaty. In another situation, Lapis would force her to have a shower.

_Cruel._

"I love you," she whispered. "I... I'll try. I have to. I'm nothing without you."

 

"You are yourself without me. The big problem here is that you've deluded yourself into thinking I'm a part of you. You can't control me Lapis, not forever. I'm not you. I just happen to love you."

 

"I don't know what to do." She sighed softly, her hands curling into Jasper's shirt. "I'm too broken." _You should just leave._

 

"You're saying that to me. Being broken together is how we've survived. But... I think... being with Peridot a little more has made me realise that it's not the endgame scenario. It's not permanent. It doesn't need to be."

 

"You're not happy with me." It wasn't a question.

 

"I'm not happy with the way you're treating me."

 

Lapis looked up.

"Why do you want to stay?" she asked.

 

"Because I love you."

 

"I loved my dad," Lapis said, hard. "I stayed with him for far longer than I should have, and it fucked me up. I don't want you to stay if I'm just fucking you up."

 

"But would you rather not give it another shot and try and get better, so that we can be together?" Jasper looked at Lapis. "I would get help too. I don't give up on things. That's not something I ever do."

 

"Do you think I can change?" It was a genuine question.

 

"I live with you. I know what you're like when you're healthy and happy. But I accept the unhealthy part and that it might never leave. Otherwise I'd be an asshole or hypocrite." She sighed. "You never used to banish me outside. Or force me to do things. I know that you can... you can be better."

 

Lapis leaned her forehead against Jasper's shoulder again.

"I'll try," she said softly. "I don't know how, but I'll try. I have to. I... I need you, I can't live without you."

 

Jasper shifted. "And that's how it feels for me. I know you do bad things. I do them, too. I hurt you. Badly. I can punch you. I could even kill you. But... what are we to do? Get shipped off in banishment to problematic island? We... we can change. I wasn't born this way. To be like this. And... if I can do it, so can you."

 

Lapis sighed.

"Can we... sleep?" she asked. "I'm so exhausted from... everything. You won't leave, will you?"

 

"I'll be here. Rest, Lapis."

 

And those seemed to be the magic words. All tension seeped out of Lapis's body, and she all but collapsed against Jasper. Even the sobs she'd held back all evening now made their way to the surface.

She allowed it. If she couldn't show weakness with Jasper, she could show weakness with no one.

And it was time she started admitting her faults rather than hiding them away.

 

Jasper held her shaking, trembling body in her arms. It seemed to last for hours, but each time she'd sob, Jasper would stroke a hand through Lapis' hair or her back or hold her closer. She even found herself humming, soft rumbles under her breath.

Until they finally slept.

 

 

 


	50. Act V - Chapter XVI: The First

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for discussion of manipulation, as well as some non-explicit sexual content.

 

When Amethyst woke up, it was still dark.

She was still with Pearl, and she remembered what had happened in perfect clarity.

_Shit._

She'd actually slept with her. Had kissed her and touched her and -

She couldn't stay. Couldn't face Pearl after this.

She got up as quietly as she could. Pearl was still asleep.

She looked so beautiful. Amethyst sighed. Covered her with the blanket and brushed her hair out of her face.

She didn't regret it. She didn't. But now that she was sober, her anxieties were no longer held at bay.

So she grabbed her clothes and shoes and left without even saying goodbye.

 

 

A few hours later, Pearl awoke. It was odd, as if something had been torn from her arms. She felt her face, her neck had a dull ache.

Oh, yes, Amethyst had been around.

Her behind reminded her of another dull ache. Oh.

_Amethyst._

She held her head in her hands before realising she'd slept with the plug still in. Ouch. She frowned. She needed to talk to her, and made a mental note to text her after meeting with Ruby and Sapphire. She'd planned on possibly asking to sleep over the weekend.

Carefully, she picked herself up and began to get ready.

 

A few miles away, Ruby and Sapphire were entertaining another guest.

"Are you sure you want to stay when Pearl comes over, Kai?" Sapphire asked.

Kai nodded. "Yeah, man, she sounds cool," he said. "I'd love to meet her. From what you've said, I'm sure there's a few things we can talk about."

"If you're sure," Sapphire said.

 

Ruby bounced at the doorbell. "Oh, that's probably her now. I'll go and let her in."  
  
They made their way to the door and opened it before bursting into giggles. "HOLY shit, did you fuck dracula? Guys - the baby queer got laid."

  
  
Pearl was not amused. "I've had my hand down Sapphire's shirt at dance comp after parties."  
  
It worked it shutting Ruby up.

 

 

Sapphire rolled her eyes. "It was one time, Pearl," she said. "So who's the lucky person?" She threw Pearl a meaningful look.

If it was Rose, today might get... interesting.

"This is Kai," she then introduced their other guest.

"Hi. Pearl, I assume?" Kai gave a small, slightly awkward wave. "I, ah. Used to go to your school."

 

"It's not what you think it is." Pearl sighed as she took off her shoes. "Got high with a friend." She then faced Kai. "You're okay with me talking about drugs, right?"

 

Kai shrugged. "I don't really mind. Don't do them myself but you do you."

Sapphire raised an eyebrow. "A friend, huh? Not your... _gal pal_ , then?"

 

"No. It wasn't her. I don't think I'm ever getting laid in that direction." Another sigh. She then looked at Kai with a raised brow, frowning at him. "...You went to an all girls school?"

 

"Yup. Nobody knew I was a boy until sixth form. It's not _that_ unusual, right?" He gave a half-smile. "I mean, I know for a fact I wasn't the first trans guy to come out at our school."

 

Lars. Pearl swallowed a thick heaping of guilt. "Yes, I suppose so. One of the students in my year tried to come out recently. I don't think he's had much progress with the register. Diamond seems to have her foot down on accepting birth certificates only."

 

"Oh, good ol' Diamond," Kai said. "Still no better in that department, I see."

"Do you want tea?" Sapphire chimed in. "You can go through to the living room, if you want."

 

"Oh, please. Green tea, if you have it!" She followed Ruby's way in.  
  
Ruby, still, it seemed, wasn't done with poking fun at the newcomer. "So, your year, huh? She sure did a number on your neck."  
  
"She was a virgin and probably didn't know it would show up." Pearl furrowed her brows. "I tried coating it in foundation but it's not working."

 

"Cute," Kai said, grinning at Pearl. He followed Sapphire as she went into the kitchen to make tea for everyone.

"You want food as well?" Sapphire called into the living room. "We got, uh. Frozen pizzas."

 

"Only if everyone else is gonna snack as well," Pearl replied, settling down on the sofa. "This place is so nice!"

Ruby rushed to Sapphire. "Gimme the pepperoni with the jalapeño."

 

"Of course." Sapphire threw her partner an adoring look. "Kai?"

"Something vegetarian," he said. "I'm not that hungry, I could share one with Pearl."

 

Half a pizza would ease her guilt. Pearl shot him a grateful look. "I wouldn't mind that. You guys got drinks, or should I go and buy some later?"

 

"Alcoholic or not?" Sapphire asked, opening a cupboard to reveal a large variety of drinks of either sort. "You're in a student home, Pearl, we always have stuff around."

Kai sat down on the sofa next to Pearl.

"So, Pearl," he said, "I heard about your accident last year from these guys."

 

Pearl spied a six pack of dark berry cider. "Still recovering from yesterday, so I'm not going too heavy. Could I maybe have a Strongbow?" She then turned to Kai. "Oh God, don't tell me they told you all the embarrassing stuff."

 

Sapphire got Pearl the requested drink. "Pizzas will be a few minutes," she announced cheerfully and then returned to the kitchen, presumably to make out with Ruby where Pearl and Kai wouldn't see. (They tried their best not to be _too_ gross in front of other people.)

Kai smiled at Pearl. "They mostly just mentioned you in passing. You wanted to be a professional dancer, right?"

 

"Yeah. Doing a major in Biology now. I think it's a lot better for me. Getting into less fights."

 

"Oh, yeah," Kai said. "Rose is very helpful, isn't she?"

 

Pearl swallowed, cheeks turning red. "Yes. We're very close."

 

Kai raised an eyebrow. "Close, huh?"

 

"Dating." It wouldn't cause any harm to let him know, right?

 

Kai's face fell. So it was true. "Oh dear. Let me guess, you're her favourite student, severe mental health issues that she's been helping with, meetings outside of classes, that kind of stuff?"

 

Pearl froze. "...Yes. How did you... Know?"

 

"Lucky guess." His voice was bitter.

 

"She's... she's my partner. I mean... she has another partner and I don't know how I feel about that but I can't change that, either."

 

Kai closed his eyes, breathed a sigh.

"You're not the first student she's done this with," he said, opening his eyes again and looking at Pearl. "You know that. Right?"

 

Pearl looked taken aback. "Principal Diamond mentioned it but... I don't believe it. She's not taking advantage of me."

 

Kai laughed bitterly.

"Sure she's not. Just like she wasn't taking advantage of me, couple of years ago."

 

"You... dated her?"

 

"If you can call it that," he said. "You wanna hear the whole story?"

 

Pearl took a sip. "... Yes."

 

"Alright."

He leaned back. "It started when I came out as trans, start of my final year. Rose hadn't really taken much of an interest in me before but suddenly she was all - protective of me. And kind of rightfully so, cus I had Principal Diamond all up my ass." He shrugged. "Nothing I can't handle, though. I knew what happened to Lars, I wouldn't have come out if I hadn't been sure I could handle it. But Rose... well. I had a crush on her. So her attention was really not unwelcome. I'll spare you the details, I mean, you're probably getting a very intimate play-by-play from Rose herself just now."

 

"I... thought Principal Diamond was lying." No. No, what she and Rose had was special. "How did things... end?"

 

"Diamond is many despicable things, but she's usually telling the truth when trying to drag people through the mud," Kai said. "She's far too careful to be spreading lies. But anyway - yeah. We weren't really dating until my graduation, but it was always clear that there was _something_ there. I was crazy for her, and she did nothing but encourage that. A few kisses. Meetings. She made me feel like she was one of the only people I could rely on. And on graduation night, she took me home with her and..." His eyebrows raised, his gaze flickered to the love bite on Pearl's neck. "You can imagine what happened. And all was well, we were a couple, I was happier than ever. Until she lost interest in me."

 

A million different feelings tore Pearl into even more directions. She felt mad, angry that anyone would attack Rose. Angry at Rose. Angry at herself. Upset that... Rose had of course left all this out.

She was also burning with envy. Rose had slept with a student. And it wasn't even her.

"How... did she lose interest?"

 

"Gradually," he said. "Found a million excuses why she couldn't see me as regularly. She was busy or too tired or feeling ill or had other plans. It took about three months. Then she broke up with me."

He blinked. Swallowed. "She had another partner at the time, too. Lily, I think she was called, I met her a few times. Lovely girl. Rose used her as the reason for the breakup, said Lily wasn't comfortable with Rose dating me. But... but it always felt like the novelty had just worn off. She got bored with me and dropped me as soon as I wasn't interesting anymore."

 

Pearl was breathing hard. "I'm sorry, I think... Is there a place I can go outside I think I need some air." Her knuckles had turned white around the can.

 

"Uh, sure." Kai frowned. "Sorry, man, I just wanted you to know. She fucks people over. Don't want that to happen to anyone else. You want me to come with you?"

 

"I suppose. I just... this relationship has been my only true security for a while..." she said, walking out.

 

Kai sighed. "Sorry to break it to you, honey, but if your relationship with your teacher is your only security, you probably have bigger issues than her potentially leaving you. Don't you have other people? Family, friends? What about the girl who gave you that?" He gestured to the love bite on her neck.

 

"I barely have any of those things." Pearl hugged herself. "Amy and I are... complicated. I hate my sister and my best friend now lives with her and constantly takes her side."

 

"Huh." Kai frowned. "Well, it might be a good idea to work on those things. Just in case. I mean, I'm not saying that Rose will definitely do this to you as well, I mean, for all I know, you could be the love of her life. Or she could just be seeing you as a project. With an expiration date. Like me."

 

"She's done it before." The words sounded bitter. Cold.

 

"Oh? Do tell." Kai fumbled with his pockets, getting out a packet of cigarettes, offered them to Pearl silently.

 

"At least that's what the Principal said. I don't want to believe you. I don't want to believe any of this." Pearl took a cigarette almost instantly.

 

"It's the sad truth, sister." He took a cigarette for himself as well, lighting it up and then offering his lighter to Pearl as well.

 

She lit up, eyes glazed. "She just seems like... she's perfect. She's so kind and wonderful and supporting. Why would she... play me like this?"

 

"Who knows. I'm just the messenger, Pearl." Kai shrugged. "I used to think she was perfect too."

 

 

"Oh man. When she butts into your drama, though."

 

"She finds people that are vulnerable," Kai said. "I thought I'd be fine coming out, but then I wasn't, and she looked after me. You had your accident, and I don't know what else you got going on. You don't have to tell me. But she picked you for a reason, I'm sure of it."

 

Pearl flinched. "Is that it, then? I'm just a project?"

 

"Maybe." Kai ashed his cigarette. "I don't know. I'm just telling you how it went down with me. I'm pretty sure I wasn't the first, either."

 

"No. It seems you probably weren't." Pearl swallowed as if she had a bitter pill. "I have an... eating disorder. She forced me to eat. She'd touch me a lot to keep me in line."

 

"Ah. Yeah, I had issues like that too." The parallels. "Positive reinforcement, huh? Did she tell you that she knew you had a crush on her?"

 

"From the second date. Even earlier, probably. I... I thought it... was _special._ That I was special."

 

Kai frowned. "That early? Wow, she must've really taken a shining to you. If she tried that hard to get you to this point. Have you kissed her?"

 

"A few times." Pearl sighed. "I'm phenomenally queer, though."

 

"So am I." Kai shrugged. "Well, she didn't kiss me more than... like, twice, before I graduated. It might be a sign that it's different with you. But I wouldn't count on it."

 

"I'm... I don't know what to think. I trusted her. She knew I trusted her."

 

"Are you gonna tell her you met me?"

 

"Would you be opposed?"

 

"No." Kai had one last drag, then stubbed out his cigarette. "Honestly, I'd be more than happy to know she's getting what's coming for her. She can't just keep doing this."

 

"It's... cruel. To take people who are vulnerable."

 

"I mean, I don't even know if she ever had any genuine feelings for me," Kai said with a sigh. "Shall we go back inside? The pizza might be ready soon. If you're gonna be okay eating."

 

"Yeah. I'll... probably switch to harder liquor after all. I eat more when I'm under the influence."

 

"That's reasonable," Kai said. He held the door open for her.

 

She nodded her thanks and shakily found her way in, wordlessly sitting back on the sofa, before downing the entire cider.

 

Kai left her, and instead went into the kitchen. He helped himself to some of Ruby and Sapphire's alcohol.

"How's the pizza coming?" he asked.

"Just about ready," Sapphire said. "You talked to Pearl about Rose, didn't you?"

He just nodded.

 

"Oh man, I guess it had to be done. If anything, I'm pretty sure you're the right guy to do it." Ruby added, pouring themselves a shot of fireball whiskey. They then turned to Sapphire. "You want any drinks, darling?"

 

"You know what I like," Sapphire said, blowing them a kiss.

"You guys are disgusting," Kai said. "I'll be in the living room. Unless you need help with the pizzas?"

"No, we'll be okay," Sapphire said.

 

Ruby nodded, pouring a splash of gin from a blue bottle. "Bombay sapphire gin and tonic, on the rocks. Just for my Laffy-Saffy." They then looked to the living room. "This might be trouble, yanno."

 

"Of course," Sapphire said. "It's not like I didn't see it coming."

"She'll be okay," Kai said, not missing their exchange. "She just needs some time to think about things."

 

"We still wanna keep Quartz on our side, though. If she's pissed with us, we're never gonna get to hit the Diamond."

 

"Is there something going on with Diamond, too?" Kai asked, frowning. "This is the first I've heard of it."

"She has it out for Quartz at the moment," Sapphire explained. "Mostly because she suspects both of them. Quartz is trying to find people to form a group... to fight back."

 

Ruby punched their hand. "We're gonna finally get something back after all those years of shit. She needs to go down."

 

"Best of luck with that," Kai said. "I hope you'll forgive me for not getting involved. I want nothing more to do with that school. Aside from warning Pearl about Rose."

"Trust me, we share the sentiment," Sapphire said. "But this is bigger than us. ... Pizza's ready!"

 

"AYYY!" Ruby took another shot and groaned. "You know... Whisky before pizza is going to be an experience. Do you guys wanna play a drinking game? Maybe get Pearl to forget about Quartz for now."

 

"Sounds like a plan," Sapphire said. "Kai?"

"I might head off soon," Kai said. "I don't really want to get that drunk - and it might be difficult to distract Pearl with me around."

 

Ruby nodded. "That's fair, man. We'll see you around uni. You coming to the game this week?"

 

"Yeah I am! Gonna see you there." He stepped into the living room to say goodbye to Pearl.

 

Pearl was down to her second can of cider. "Hey, again."

 

"Hey!" Kai shuffled, a little awkward. "I, uh. I'm gonna leave in a bit, so just wanted to say bye."

 

She nodded. "Alright. It was... nice to meet you. Thanks."

 

"Anytime, hun," Kai said. "Sapphire has my number, so if you ever wanna talk, you can just text or call. Even if it's just to be salty about Rose."

 

"I might... need that. I'll see you around, I guess."

 

"Well, I'm always here for that," Kai said amicably. "See you!"

Sapphire squeezed past him with the pizzas. "You could at least stay for this, since you basically ordered it," she said in mock-outrage.

 

Pearl chuckled. "I can't eat an entire one on my own."

"I can!" Ruby pumped their fist.

 

"Everyone knows that, my darling," Sapphire said and kissed Ruby's cheek.

"Alright then," Kai said with a smile. "I'll stay for a little bit longer. But I'm not participating in your drinking game." He took the pizza from Sapphire and started cutting it in half.

 

"What sort of drinking game?" Pearl asked, blinking.

"We can watch bad films and take a shot every time we cringe."

 

"What sort of films do you have in mind?" Sapphire asked. She had an idea (it was Ruby, after all, who had suggested this), but Pearl and Kai likely didn't.

 

"Oh, cringy youtube videos. Lesbian porn for hetero guys is my favourite. Everyone looks related and they all have long ass fingernails."

 

"What do you think, Pearl?" Sapphire asked their guest. "Kai, I assume you won't be staying for this."

Kai shrugged. "It'd be fun, but I really should be heading off before yain't sober enough to recognise my face anymore."

 

Pearl bit into the pizza. "I don't usually watch porn with my friends."

"That's because you were a kid!" Ruby sighed. "Live a little."

 

"Seriously, Pearl, almost nothing about this is actually sexually appealing once you realise it's literally for cishet men," Sapphire said. "Just look at their nails. Instant turn-off, if you ask me."

Kai finished his third slice of pizza. "I'll stay for the first round. No alcohol for me, though."

 

"Alright." Pearl seemed tentative as she finished her portion of the pie. "I'm game."

 

"Alright. I'll get Ruby's laptop," Sapphire said and got up.

 

"Delete my browser history, babe!" Ruby called as she went.

 

"Will do!"

Sapphire found the laptop easily and did as Ruby had asked her, then brought it back through and handed it to Ruby.

"Would you like to do the honours?" she asked, winking at them.

 

Ruby nodded and hopped onto an obscene site.

"Holy shit." Pearl whispered. "Is that... Ms. Lazuli?"

 

"Oh, yeah, that young teacher that came to the school like two or three years back? We've seen her in more than one of these. Don't spread it round at school, though," Sapphire said. "God knows what she did before she was a teacher, and everyone's got to make money somehow."

 

"Oh, definetly... not. But..." Pearl swallowed. "I think she's dating the coach. Do you think... they uploaded anything together?"

 

"Why, would you be interested?" Sapphire threw her a smirk.

 

"I liked her, too."

 

"Is there anyone you don't have a crush on?" Sapphire said with a grin. "Pearl, the great ladykiller. Who would've thought."

 

"You're implying that any of my crushes reciprocate my feelings. Turns out... Well. I've got Amy, I guess."

 

"I'm sure she's not the only one," Sapphire said, her voice soothing.

Kai cleared his throat. "Yeah... I should probably go."

 

"Oh, she is." Pearl took the last swig of her can of cider, bitterly. "Oh, okay, see you later!"

 

Sapphire looked at Pearl, sympathetic. "More alcohol?" she offered, pointing to a selection of hard drinks they'd brought from the kitchen.

Kai waved goodbye to everyone and then left.

 

Pearl managed to make her way and bring over the whisky and a bottle of coke.

Ruby spied over their shoulder. "A mixer? Weak."

"Says the person that up chucks every time we go for drinks." Pearl rolled her eyes. "You guys found anything good?"

"Lazuli is actually gay, so she's too good for us already. I can send you her profile for personal watching, though. But... Here. 'Naughty lesbian threesome...with...mom.'"

 

"Alright," Sapphire said, "take a shot every time they do something a lesbian would never do. Two if they're scissoring. You ready?" She got her drink.

 

"Alright." Pearl finished filling the glass.

"Oh! None of those nails are remotely going to feel good. Yikes, mom. Why are they all wearing so much makeup before going to sleep?"

 

"We can all take a shot for they're all skinny white girls," Sapphire said. "I agree on the nails. Also, three people in a bed that small? They're going to regret that."

 

Pearl giggled. "Why do they all have the same... everything? Hair, makeup... it's weird."

 

"It's secretly also an incest kink site," Sapphire said, her face completely unmoved. "We figured it out ages ago."

 

Pearl coughed out whisky. "Yikes!"

"She's kidding. But let's be real. Would you be that surprised?"

 

"I would say I foresaw it," Sapphire said, now grinning. "Don't choke on your alcohol, Pearl, neither of us know CPR."

She went back to watching the video, where the girls had reached the making out and undressing each other stage. "I bet it took them forty takes to film this. Nobody can unhook a bra that quickly."

 

"How are they not smearing any lipstick?"

Ruby screamed. "Why is she making out with her MOM?"

 

"Told you it was an incest site," Sapphire said.

And narrowed her eyes a second later. "Oh - oh, here we go. Going right in. With those nails. And the other girl _likes it_." She shuddered.

 

Pearl whispered. "That doesn't belong in a butt. I know what does. That's not... No. Oh my god."

 

"That looks rather painful," Sapphire said, frowning. "Maybe that's why she's screaming."

 

"Oh man, I think I know where this is going." Ruby rubbed their hands eagerly. "So, they teach these girls to anal prolapse on command-"

"Turn it OFF!" Pearl screeched.

 

Sapphire obliged immediately. "Really, Ruby, I don't think Pearl wants to hear about anal prolapse."

 

Pearl calmed down. "I'm only kidding. I'm kind of interested to see where this goes."

Ruby turned the video on again. Almost instantly, the girl on screen had an anal prolapse.

"I TOLD YOU! WHO'S GOT FUTURE VISION NOW, HUH?"

 

"Keep your voice down," Sapphire said, grimacing. "This is _grim_. Do you want to watch something else?"

 

"Should we... perhaps see something more tame?" Pearl clocked into the discomfort.

"Fart fetish videos?"

"No, Ruby. God. Keep your weird kinks to yourself. Something like a movie."

 

"I can do that," Sapphire said, exited the porn site and went on Netflix. "So would you like... a bad lesbian movie, a mediocre lesbian movie, or Imagine Me & You?"

 

"Bad!" Ruby and Pearl both called out.

 

Sapphire brought up the Gay and Lesbian section on Netflix.

"So what's your fancy?" she asked. "We have a selection of... sad lesbians... more sad lesbians... sad lesbians with weird camera angles... sad lesbians in the wild west... sad German lesbians..."

 

Pearl tilted her head. "Why are they all so sad?"

 

"Because lesbians can't have happy endings. Didn't you know that?"

 

Pearl swallowed. "Huh?"

 

"Imagine Me & You is just about the only one where they actually get together and are happy in the end," Sapphire explained. "Otherwise it's either they get separated, or can't be together for stupid reasons, or one of them dies, or both of them die, or any combination of the above."

Her mouse hovered over Loving Annabelle, but she hesiated.

 

Pearl sighed before looking up. "What's that one?"

 

Sapphire hesitated. "It's... overrated," she said. "It's a student-teacher story."

 

"Oooh, one for Pearl then?" Ruby punched Pearl's arm.

Pearl looked away. "I don't mind."

 

"Do you really want to do that to yourself?" Sapphire asked, completely serious this time.

 

"If it's good, I honestly don't care. Haven't seen many lesbian films. Might be nice to be represented for once."

 

"It's not... that good," Sapphire said, cautiously. "I mean, it's okay. We can probably still make it a drinking game."

 

"Make it good, darling. I wanna get hammered before I'm out tonight." Ruby beamed.

 

Sapphire looked up and frowned. "I didn't know you were going out."

 

"Oh man, shit! I totally forgot to tell you. You know how the Spanish squad found out I could understand them chatting shit? They've kind of adopted me in and XL is throwing a party." Ruby then turned to Pearl. "Her name is Ellie but she's got literally boulders for knockers."

 

"Oh, that's fine then. They're okay. Just make sure you're safe. You know you can call me at any point if you need me to pick you up somewhere, right?" Sapphire cast Ruby a smile. "But anyway, back to this. Shall we?"

 

"What's the drinking game?" Pearl asked, taking a sip. The world had began to spin a little.

 

Sapphire thought. "Take a shot every time Annabelle mentions she's gay or has slept with girls. Anytime she's rude to someone and anytime she tries to seduce Miss Whatserface, I forgot her name. Haven't seen this movie in ages. But that should do it, really. Oh, wait. Take a shot anytime someone suspects there's something going on."

 

"Oh no." Pearl looked at the screen. "Looks like this is going to be a play by play of my literal life."

 

"It's not that bad," Sapphire said and started the movie, sitting back.

 

 

 


	51. Act V - Chapter XVII: Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings for this chapter: alcohol, vomiting, non-explicit sexual innuendo.

 

A few hours later, Ruby staggered out into a car loudly playing bubblegum pop music loudly enough to hear from a street ahead. Pearl couldn't help but feel a little relieved. Ruby could be a personality contest that she'd often lose.

"Do you wanna watch something else or just chill?" she asked, turning to Sapphire. Her hands were on the table to keep her drunk self up.

 

"Just chilling would be nice," Sapphire said. "You do know I like to chill."

She wasn't quite as drunk as Pearl was (she'd gone easy on the shots), so she just sat down again. "You should probably sit," she told Pearl.

 

"The sofa." Pearl nodded and attempted to gracefully walk over.

Attempted.

Once she crash landed on the couch, she hugged a pillow. "I think... I might break up."

 

 

Sapphire looked up, surprised. "With Rose?"

 

"Yeah. I'm. Mad and... angry at myself and... full of regret."

 

"Do you regret being with her?" Sapphire asked gently.

 

"I regret getting myself caught up in someone who had so many red flags. But that's the problem with rose-tinted glasses. All the red flags disappear."

 

"You seemed so happy with her when we last saw you," Sapphire said, "and when we -" She stopped herself. They hadn't told Pearl they'd gone to see Rose. "When we talked to her, she seemed to care about you a lot."

 

"Apparently... I'm just a phase."

 

"Only she can tell you that, Pearl," Sapphire said. "Not me, not Kai. Certainly not Diamond. Only Rose knows what you actually mean to her."

 

"It's not the first warning and... sometimes... I do get worried about it."

 

"Want to talk about it?" Sapphire asked. "I've got all night."

 

"I don't know. I'm not very stable or in the right frame of mind. I think I'm... splitting."

 

"Will you talk to her about it?"

 

"I'll have to."

 

Sapphire nodded. "Relationships are always hard, and you're in a very difficult situation to begin with. Love takes a lot of work. But talking to each other is important."

 

"I guess. Sometimes it feels like she's keeping things away from me. Like... the thing with Kai is complete news."

 

"You're worried what else she might be hiding," Sapphire said.

 

"Yeah. And... it's not just her. I've found out stuff about my sister and my friend and... it hurts. To be the last to know."

 

"It does," Sapphire agreed. "Who do you have that you trust?"

 

"The coach, maybe."

 

"Then you should talk to her," Sapphire said. "I mean, you can always call me as well... but I'm not around a lot of the time."

 

"I suppose I should. How could I, though? Hey, coach, I'm worried my teacher might be taking advantage of my feelings? Rose would get sent to jail."

 

"She hasn't done anything illegal," Sapphire said. "You're an adult, it's not sexual - unless there's something you haven't told me?"

 

"I wish. But she might get hurt. It's still not with the staff policy to see students."

 

"Definitely not. So what _are_ you doing to do?"

 

"I... don't know." Pearl hesitated. "I just. I'm starting to split a little. And by a little, I mean kind of completely. It's like... all at once, everything horrible about her is starting to become apparent. Who the fuck dates mentally ill students when it's convenient?" She began to shake a little. "Am I... being groomed?"

 

"I can't tell you that." Sapphire sighed. "Hey, don't freak out. Can I get you anything? Another drink, maybe? If you want to talk about it, you can."

 

"It's just. Painful to think about." Pearl raised her glass. "Let's get more pissed. I want to forget about all this."

 

"I can do that," Sapphire said, getting up to get more drinks, mixing herself another gin and tonic. "What do you want?"

 

"Anything that won't make me puke but will still wipe this hard drive of mine clean. Vodka."

 

"Got that. You wanna mix it with anything? We have coke, orange juice..." Sapphire pulled out the half-empty bottle and a glass.

 

"I can do shots."

 

"Okay," Sapphire said. There was a packet of plastic shot glasses; she took one and brought it back to Pearl. "I hope you'll forgive me for not joining you," she said softly as she sat back down, handing the drink to Pearl.

 

"You can make sure I pass out somewhere safe."

 

"Oh, I have no intention of letting you leave this flat," Sapphire said light-heartedly. "You don't have plans, do you?"

 

"Did all my homework in the week. I'm good."

 

"Good," Sapphire said. She took a sip from her drink. "So, let's change the subject. Unless you want to talk about this more."

 

"Anything interesting happening in your life? Uni? Secret underground rebellions against the man?"

 

"Well," Sapphire said, "Ruby identifies as nonbinary now - I don't know if they've told you, but they're okay with you knowing either way. Um." She hesitated, wondering if it was a good idea to let Pearl know they'd seen Miss Quartz only a few days ago.

 

"Huh. Okay, I'll try and keep things gender neutral." Pearl took a shot. "Oh. That's... harsh."

 

"You sure you don't want to mix it? We have a few things."

 

Pearl pulled a face. "Pass the coke, please. Or Doctor Pepper."

 

Sapphire got up to get the drink for Pearl and then sat back down. "Here you are. ...well, there's not that much going on here. I mean, Ruby has lots of friends, but I mostly keep to myself."

 

"Joined any societies?" Pearl poured more vodka into a bigger cup and then filled it with coke.

 

"Ruby has," Sapphire said. "Boxing, Spanish, D&D. She's - they're enjoying it a lot, making lots of friends. I'm not that much of a people person, but I'm glad Ruby is having fun."

 

"But you should have fun too." Pearl slurred behind a mixer.

 

"They've taken me to a few events. D&D is fun, but I seem to be far too good at figuring out what's going to happen next, which kind of takes the fun out of it." Sapphire shrugged. "I can deal with it. I mostly just stay in and watch things. That's fun too."

 

"Eh. I guess that's the case with us introverts. I went to a wrestling match. I need to hang out with Amy more. Get drunk more."

 

"Isn't she the one you slept with?" Sapphire asked, her eyes flickering down to the hickeys on Pearl's neck.

 

"Yeah. I guess I should chase her up about it at some point. She left before I woke up." Another sip.

 

"Sounds like quite a situation. Speaking of situations -"

Sapphire set down her drink and leaned forward.

"Are you still as... taken with the Principal as you were a few weeks ago?"

 

"Split. Crazy split. Called her a cunt to her face and she outed my sister as gay."

 

"Hmm." Sapphire took up her drink again. This was... good, but also bad. "Is she going after you?" she asked.

 

"Who knows? Probably. Maybe she'll get me to finally kill myself. Little will she know it'll actually be a favour."

 

Sapphire leaned over, put a hand on Pearl's arm.

"Don't say that. You're protected. And you're loved. There's plenty of people in that school who won't let anything happen to you."

 

"Who knows anymore? Clearly Rose is just out to make me a project. The Principal wants me dead and I haven't spoken to Aurora with kindness since last year."

 

"This doesn't mean Rose won't protect you," Sapphire said. "And what about the coach? What about Amy? Your sister... might have some reservations." She frowned; she remembered Aurora from before the accident as she'd often been the one to pick up Pearl from rehearsals. Had often been the only member of Pearl's family to attend performances. "But she loves you. And she'll protect you, too, I'm sure."

 

"I can't trust anyone. I've managed to realise that tonight."

 

"That is not a very healthy attitude to have, Pearl."

 

"It's my attitude and I'm unhealthy. Deal with it."

 

"I can still tell you it's unhealthy," Sapphire said. Noticed that the bottle she'd given Pearl was nearly empty, so she went to fetch another one. "And it's not the only unhealthy attitude you have. I'm still your friend and I want to see you happy. Attitudes like that won't make you happy."

 

"I just need to work my head out of this."

 

Sapphire handed her the second bottle. "This will help."

 

"Does your foresight see it?" Pearl opened the vodka.

 

"Yes. I also foresee that you'll get rather tired soon. I can make up the couch for you, if you want."

 

"Please." Pearl nodded, pouring herself another glass. "I would appreciate that."

 

"Okay." Sapphire got up to get bedding and a pillow. "Here you go," she said, dumping it on the sofa. "This should be okay."

 

"Would you still stay with me?"

 

"Sure," Sapphire said. "I can stay for a while. I'll probably not go to sleep until Ruby comes back anyway."

 

"Thanks. I hope she's-... they're okay with us just hanging out again."

 

"Sure they are. It's not like there's anything that could happen."

 

Pearl looked away from Sapphire. "Hah. Yeah."

 

Sapphire recognised that look and frowned. "Don't act like that, Pearl. You know I'm in a committed monogamous relationship and I have no interest in you that way. Just because we're both gay girls doesn't mean things have to happen. They won't. And that doesn't mean I care about you any less."

 

Pearl merely shrugged. "I'm aware."

 

"Good." Sapphire had another sip from her drink.

 

"So. Any dirt on people I don't know from your course?"

 

"Hmm. I don't really like badmouthing people," Sapphire said. "But having said that, there's this one girl Holly that I absolutely can't stand."

 

"Oh?"

 

"Yeah. She sucks up to the professors so much and thinks she's better than everyone else because of that. The way she treats some of the people in the class..." Sapphire shook her head. "Absolutely revolting."

 

"Have you guys reported her?"

 

Sapphire raised her shoulders. "For what? And anyway, all the professors love her. She's kissing their asses so much."

 

"Oh man. That's rough."

 

"I can deal." Sapphire shrugged. "Do you want anything else before you go to bed?"

 

"I think I'll be okay." Pearl yawned into the sheet.

 

"Okay. The bathroom is just down the hall. Do you want me to stay here for a bit?"

 

"Please." Pearl sat up to finish her drink.

 

Sapphire had finished hers. She pulled out her phone; she had a message from Ruby.

_‘Having lots of fun! Miss you though!’_

Sapphire smiled at her phone and composed a message back.

_‘Miss you too. I'll stay up til you get home. Love you :*’_

 

"I'm gonna go and brush my teeth." Pearl called out as she wobbled in the direction of the rest room.

 

"Okay," Sapphire called back, looking up from her phone only for a moment before going to the bedroom to change into her pyjamas.

 

Pearl staggered in and took about ten seconds before lunging for the toilet and vomiting her guts out.

 

Sapphire heard, and frowned. Not an unexpected turn of events, but a worrying one. She found a bucket and put it into the living room next to the couch, then went to get some water from the kitchen before making her way to the bathroom and knocking on the door lightly.

"Are you okay, Pearl? Do you need me to come in?"

 

"It's not pretty." Pearl retched again and replied with a muffled, "Had too much booze."

 

"I figured. Do you need any help?"

 

"It's got to be nearly over, isn't it?" Pearl asked, her insides aflame.

 

Sapphire remembered the fact that Pearl had had almost an entire bottle of vodka to herself along with a few ciders. "You might still have a little more fun with it," she said. "I've put a bucket next to the sofa in the living room just in case."

 

Pearl flushed, wiped her mouth and stumbled out. "I'll try and keep it... together."

 

Sapphire handed her the glass. "I got you some water. It might be a good idea to have some more. But be careful. Small sips."

 

Pearl shot a grateful look as she took the glass. "Thanks. I'll try and take things slow. I'm still very drunk."

 

"Evidently. Do you need me to support you back to the living room?"

 

"Some help would be nice."

 

Sapphire put a hand around Pearl's waist. "I got you," she said. "Small steps."

 

They carefully made it to the sofa, where Pearl sat herself on the blanket. "Sorry."

 

"There's no need to be," Sapphire said smoothly. "It was inevitable."

 

"Maybe having something to graze on might help it stabilise." Pearl groaned.

 

Sapphire found a packet of crisps. Ready salted. "How about this?"

 

"Perfect. Those are my favourite. They're... salty."

 

A small smile. "You've always been a saltwater Pearl," Sapphire agreed, tossing her the crisps.

 

Pearl carefully put one in her mouth, trying to rid herself of the taste of sick. "Does this happen a lot to you guys?"

 

"What exactly?"

 

"Drinking enough for negative consequences."

 

"I've never gone that far," Sapphire said. "I know when to stop. Ruby has had their... experiences, though."

 

"Who are they with tonight, anyway?"

 

"The Spanish gang. They're decent guys. I know them peripherally. They'll look after Ruby."

 

"Oh yeah, they're doing Spanish. What's the deal with that?"

 

"Apparently their parties are, as Ruby says, 'the bomb'," Sapphire said. "They always make sure Ruby gets back here safe and sound, though."

 

"I've barely been to any this year. It's so lonely."

 

"You can probably join them, if you ask," Sapphire said. "You could bring your friend, too. Amy? Maybe you should both come here one time."

 

"She'd like that. She's more social than me."

 

"Good, good. We're off on easter holidays in a few weeks, so you can come here whenever."

 

Pearl nodded before yawning. "I'll wait before brushing. Just in case."

 

"That's reasonable. You don't mind if I go, do you?"

 

"Sure, it's late."

 

Sapphire nodded. "I'll be back to check on you in a bit," she said, then went to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

 

Pearl found her phone and drunkenly swiped her thumb until it accidentally pressed contacts. Amethyst came up first.

No. She should speak to her face to face.

She groaned as she sent _'Heyyy sexy'_ by accident.

 

It just so happened that Amethyst was at home, high, and she immediately saw Pearl's text.

And she was high, so it was okay - despite the fact that earlier this morning, she'd dreaded talking to Pearl.

_'hey there hot stuff'_

_'whats up'_

 

_'With some gal pals... Well. Just one gal. We're alone and very drunk. I puked. It was not... sexy. Where did you run away this morning?'_

 

Amethyst frowned at her phone.

_'huh, sounds fun'_

_'went home cus rori was worried, sorry i didnt wake you'_

It wasn't technically a lie.

 

_'Ahh. I guess I'll see you Monday after homeroom. You've got a study period first too, right?'_

_'yeah'_

_'you up to anything fun'_

 

_'Just about to try sleeping this off'_

 

Just in that moment, Sapphire poked her head through the door.

"You still okay, Pearl?" she asked.

 

"Yeah! Just messaging Amy."

 

"That sounds nice," Sapphire said.

Just then Pearl's phone buzzed with another message.

_'boring. youre not going out or anything?'_

 

_'Do you wanna see me?'_

She smirked naughtily. "I'm probably gonna sleep."

 

"Okay then. You want me to stick around for a bit?"

_'why, you offering?'_

 

"I think it might be best if I nod off soon. Though Amy sounds like she wants to see me."

_'Depends if you can be bothered'_

 

"Well, as long as you're not leaving the flat I'm fine with anything," Sapphire said. "Just because I don't trust you to be out by yourself in this state. Sleep well!"

_'just for clarification'_

_'what is it exactly that youre offering'_

 

"Goodnight!" Pearl called back and waited for Sapphire to leave before briskly stripping off her top and taking a snap.

_'Just some company if you're lonely.'_

 

Amethyst got the message. Her eyes widened.

_'damn son, u so pretty'_

_'u wanna see me?'_

_'I'll show you mine if you show me yours.'_ Pearl giggled as she sent another picture.

 

Amethyst didn't need to be asked twice. She stripped her top off and took a picture. It was dark and the picture left a lot to the imagination, but she sent it anyway.

 

 

Pearl inspected the image. _'Hmm. Nice. Everyone kept asking me about your marks. Where'd you learn to do that?'_

_'i guess im just a sucker :p'_

_'Do you think I should hide them tomorrow?'_

 

Something rather... nasty and spiteful reared its head inside Amethyst.

Mostly at the thought of Miss Quartz seeing the hickeys on Pearl.

_'nah itll be funny'_

 

Pearl chuckled. _'Okay then. I'll wear a v neck and everyone will see.'_

_'good'_

_'u wanna see more pics'_

_'Sure. If you feel like sharing.'_

 

Amy grinned, and sent another picture. _'ur welcome'_

_'Ooh, attitude, nice.'_

 

In the next picture, Amethyst was poking out her tongue. _'ill give u attitude'_

_'Put that back in.'_

 

Raised eyebrows in addition to the tongue. _'or what?'_

_'I'll stop replying~'_

_'you wouldnt dare'_

 

She merely shrugged and laid down. Amethyst could wait.

 

Amethyst pouted at her phone, realising no reply was coming.

After about five minutes, she gave up and sent a picture with her lips blowing a kiss. _'fine, you win. its a good thing youre pretty'_

 

Pearl smirked. _'Good.'_

 

Amethyst sent a picture of her rolling her eyes.

_'i thought u were going to sleep'_

 

_'I can go.'_

_'no man im just messin'_

_'i like talking to u like this'_

Another picture, her tongue poking out just a little bit.

 

_'You're the worst. Why do I love you again?'_

 

Amethyst froze.

_'wait. you do?'_

_'Well, obviously!'_

 

In response, Amethyst just sent a picture of her blushing, flower crown filter applied.

 

_'That's a good look.'_

_'why thank you!'_

_'wanna call or are you too tired'_

_‘We could. I might be a bit quiet.'_

 

Amethyst smiled and dialled Pearl.

 

Pearl picked up on the second ring and whispered. "Hi. You okay?"

 

"Yeah! Hiiiigh." Amy drew out the word and chuckled. "You look so pretty today. I kinda regret leaving so early this morning."

 

"I wish you'd stayed. There was some business you left over," Pearl purred, smiling. "You look divine, too."

 

"Oh, what sorta business?" Amy asked, grinning.

 

"You forgot to finish playing with our toys," Pearl whispered, breathy.

 

Amy frowned, then remembered something. "Oh man, didn't you still have the plug in?" She laughed loudly. "That's hilarious, P."

 

"Hush! Yes. I'm trying to flirt!"

 

Amethyst laughed louder. "I'm probably too high for anything serious right now," she said. "Love you, though."

 

"That's fair. Love you...Too." Pearl smiled. "Anything exciting happen today?"

 

"Eh, not really. Got home, made food, napped some more, got more high. You? Who's it you're visiting anyway?"

 

"Some university friends," Pearl replied, playing with her own hair. "You know how I've got a thing for older women."

 

"People from last year? I thought you fell out with all of them." Amy couldn't help a twinge of jealousy.

 

"Found them at Uni. One of my closer friends. We used to have fun but don't worry, she's all settled down with a partner."

 

Amy raised an eyebrow. "She's not poly by any chance, is she?" She wondered how much of her bitterness bled into her voice.

 

"I'd have to ask. Why, you wanna see her?"

 

"No, but you might."

 

"Ah. No chance, I think she's lost interest in me. A shame, like I said, we used to have fun. But I have you now."

 

"Yeah, I guess." Amy felt warm inside. "Wish you were here. I'd like to kiss you."

 

"Would you, now? Why is it you're always like that when you're high?"

 

Amy blushed. "Cus you're hot and outta my league."

 

"You doubt yourself too much, Amethyst. You're so precious."

 

"Ok but you're still way outta my league." Amy leant back. "Which I happen to be very aware of when sober."

 

"If it helps, I never even knew the league was there. I just like you."

 

"Weirdo. I'm not attractive in any way." She shrugged and grabbed her box to roll another joint.

 

"As a spector of your nude pieces, I disagree."

 

"Well, you're weird." Amy smiled. "We should hang out more. Outside of school, I mean."

 

"You like parties?"

 

"Yeah!" Especially if she got to make out with someone cute.

 

"Got invited to some college ones. You should come along. We could get hammered and pretend to be adults."

 

"Yeah man, that sounds awesome," Amy said. "I'm totally up for that. When?"

 

"I'll have to ask. Ruby went out to one tonight."

 

"Sounds cool." Amy finished rolling her joint and looked up. "What about... just us?" She blushed again, then added, "You know."

 

Pearl didn't seem to catch on. "We hang out a lot at school. I guess we could try catching up after. There's an arcade downtown, right?"

 

"I meant kinda like... last night. It was nice."

 

"Oh, you want to fuck?"

 

Amy blushed more. "Y-yeah, I guess," she stammered, caught by surprise.

 

Pearl shrugged, it seemed Rose would be left on the back burner for a while, anyway. Not that she was getting much action on that front. "Sure. Mine or yours?"

 

"Yours, probably. I mean," Amethyst cast a quick look towards Aurora's room, "I dunno if you wanna come here."

 

"True." Pearl sighed. "I'll see if I can ask the folks when they're out. They might be going on another trip again soon-though that means Blue might crash over."

 

"Blue has a partner who she lives with, why would she wanna come to yours?"

 

"She has a room here. With her stuff." Pearl frowned. "Maybe I should investigate."

 

"Maybe," Amy said. "I mean, the other option would be to come here and actually talk to your other sister."

 

"Nah, I mean - check out Blue's room. See if she has any secret diaries."

 

"You think she does?"

 

"Everyone's got secrets."

 

"From like when she was a teenager? Must be thrilling."

 

"Hey. Those were crazy days."

 

"I don't doubt that," Amethyst said, yawning. "But it's also ages ago."

 

"She never let me know back then."

 

"Why do you wanna know, anyway?" Amethyst asked.

 

"I just... do. She knows like all of my secrets."

 

"Well, duh. I mean, you were basically brought up by Aurora, who tells her like... everything." Amethyst shrugged, realising too late that Pearl wouldn't be able to see.

 

"Exactly." Pearl sounded giddy. "Equivalent exchange. I'm going to go and find my end of the bargain."

 

"Or you could just ask Rori. She'd probably be more than happy to tell you all sorts of stuff about Blue."

 

"As if I'm going to talk to her. Fuck, Amethyst."

 

"Well, maybe you should," Amethyst said. "You'd probably benefit from it. She's not evil, ya know."

 

"Amy, you know what she did to me. I can't just... forgive her."

 

"Fine, you do you." _It's not like I have to put up with both of you talking about each other instead of to each other all the time._ She swallowed that remark. "I should sleep soon."

 

"Alright." Pearl giggled. "It was nice to... hear your voice. And to see you like that. I got... kinda worried."

 

"Worried about what?"

 

"You just left. I was scared you weren't... happy with me."

 

"Nah, I'm just a shit when I'm sober. Sorry." Amethyst grinned. "But I'll be less of a shit when I see you on Monday. I promise."

 

Pearl yawned, her drunken sleepiness catching up with her. "Only if you promise."

 

"I pinky promise," Amy said. "I should sleep, though. And you too, it sounds like. Love you."

 

"I'll see you tomorrow." Pearl nodded sleepily, not quite registering the 'I love you'.

  
Amethyst noticed the lack of response. She pouted, tried not to think too much of it. "Good night."

 

Pearl hung up and smuggled her way up to the pillow. It smelt of Sapphire - she'd gotten nostalgic for the smell of her old high school life with people she actually knew. It happened to only be now that she realised just how empty high school was with only one friend. She couldn't always see Rose and barely connected to any of her peers.

Maybe university would be different.

She closed her eyes.

 

 

 


	52. Act V - Chapter XVIII: Split

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings for this chapter: alcohol, vomiting.

 

It was Sunday morning.

Well, as far as two in the afternoon still qualified as 'morning'. It definitely did to a very hungover Pearl.

She was in pain. Nothing was okay.

And of course, the one thing she remembered clearly was her conversation with Kai. Infuriatingly, she remembered it more clearly than her phone call with Amethyst.

And it was _bad_.

It was Sunday, and Rose was likely to be home. Pearl didn't call or text to announce she'd be coming. She hadn't last time.

Last time... last time she'd visited Rose, they'd kissed for the first time.

Now... things were different.

Everything, _everything_ about Rose filled Pearl with anger. The way Rose had manipulated her into eating. The way Rose had conspired with Aurora. The way Rose had treated her when Diamond had been blackmailing her.

The way she had reacted when Ruby had mentioned their relationship at the open day.

The way she'd never talked about any of her previous - or even current - partners.

It made _sense_. And that was the worst part. Rose had had people like Pearl before, probably several of them, and Pearl was just the latest in a long string of student lovers Rose had taken.

And Pearl _hated_ her for it.

She had no idea what she was going to say. She had no idea how she'd even react when seeing Rose. But she needed to do _something_. And she needed to do it now.

So the late afternoon found her, still in pain, still hungover, at Rose's door, finger on the doorbell.

She clenched her teeth as she rang.

 

Rose had left earlier that day, handing over keys and a box set of Lil' Butler as a small monthly anniversary gift. He nearly spilt the contents of his hotdogs on his jeans when Pearl pressed the door bell. "I'll be with you in a second, hold on, whoa!" He arrived and opened the door, food hanging from his mouth. "Oh. Hey. It's you, that kid."

 

 

Pearl pulled a face like she'd just smelled something bad when _he_ opened the door.

_That kid._

Was that all she was when Rose talked about her? It stung.

"I need to talk to Rose," she said coldly, without introductions.

 

"Oh! Uh..." He looked behind himself, unsure of how to behave. "She isn't home."

 

Pearl felt her face heat up. She narrowed her eyes.

"She _isn't home_?" she hissed. "Then why are you? Do you _live here_?"

 

"Y-yeah?" He stepped back. "Whoah, easy there! Uh, listen, I don't know your name or what's going on... She'll be back later. Does she, uh, know you're here?"

 

Pearl took his stepping back as an invitation. The door slammed shut behind her.

"You don't even know my _name_?" she snapped. "Has she told you _anything_ about me? Or am I just _that kid_ whenever she talks about me?"

She pushed past him, into Rose's living room.

"I'm staying until she gets back," she announced.

 

"Alright... If you're that desperate to catch up on Lil' B..." He awkwardly closed the door. "Hey, I guess we could try and get to know each other better?"

 

Pearl turned around, her eyes flashing. "And why would I want to do that?" she said harshly. "I came here to talk to _Rose_ , not you."

 

"What's your deal?" Greg frowned. "Did I... do something to you?"

 

It only served to piss her off _more_.

"No," she hissed, "other than _being with her_. And I came here because I need to talk to her and instead I get _you_."

She knew, rationally, that it wasn't his fault, but he was the only target available, and she'd been kind of mad about his mere presence for _months_.

 

"I'm sorry I'm... dating her too? How can you have such a problem with me? We've barely even met." He settled down to finish the other dog. "Wanna hotdog?"

 

She wrinkled her nose. "No, thanks."

And continued glaring at him.

"You're her partner," she said, "and you know next to nothing about me? I mean, I'm new to all of this, but isn't that a little bit strange? I didn't even know you _lived here_ \- it seems Rose conveniently neglected to mention that."

 

"Weird. I guess she's busy a lot. It's kind of why I've been living here for a few months. We've had a few visitors stay over too. Kinda strange we haven't had you."

 

Pearl felt like she was about to explode.

"You've been living here for _a few months_?" she snapped. "That's probably why she's not invited me over, because she didn't want me to _know._ "

It was only then that something else occurred to her. She frowned, gave him yet another withering look.

"This house only has two bedrooms," she said, "and you've had people staying over."

Her heart ached with envy and disgust.

 

"You sure you ain't taking some of this the wrong way? I'm sure she's got her reasons. Maybe she knew you'd react like... this." Greg then swallowed. "Yeah. We're adults in a relationship. We have sex. We share a bedroom. What's up?"

 

It was all too much. Pearl wanted to scream.

Instead, she just sat down.

"You got any alcohol around?" she asked. Her gaze strayed to the drinks cabinet she'd all but emptied months ago. It seemed well stocked yet again.

 

"I keep a few beers around. Wanna crack one open?"

 

"I might need something a bit stronger than that," she said coldly. Her eyes were still locked on the drinks cabinet.

 

Greg looked at the TV and sighed. Maybe he'd get some peace and quiet this way. "Go crazy. I'll restock whatever you use. Just... try not to have anything too expensive."

 

A large part of Pearl was tempted to take the most expensive thing she could find, but even while splitting, hungover and angry, she was aware that that was maybe a little _too_ petty. So she just took a bottle of gin. Not the Rosé this time. She found a glass, too, and sat back down, silently seething.

 

 

"I think we've got a little tonic for that somewhere..." Greg eyed her up nervously.

 

"I'll be fine," Pearl said, already knocking back a shot. Another shot later, she finally worked up the courage to look at Greg directly. "It's Greg, isn't it?"

 

Greg tried not to watch. Out of sight, out of mind. "Yeah."

 

Pearl took another shot. An eerie calm already settling over her mind. "Do you know who I am? And don't say 'that kid'."

 

"Pearl, right?" He swallowed, drily.

 

She narrowed her eyes. "So you _do_ know my name," she said. "Why did you say you didn't?"

 

"I genuinely couldn't remember. I'm not that great with em."

 

"Oh, and you just magically remembered? Likely story." She huffed.

 

"My memory really isn't that good! And I'm sorry... I don't happen to think about... Rose's other partners a lot. No... offence."

 

"She doesn't even talk about me?" Pearl was now very obviously hurt. As if she'd needed more proof that she was just a project, a temporary fling.

 

"Her students are... confidential."

 

"I'm not just her _student_ , though!" Pearl's voice was high, she was almost shrieking. "Or at least that's what I _thought_!"

 

"Hey, hey, chill! I'm not saying anything. It's just that her life doesn't maybe revolve around you."

 

Pearl took in a sharp breath.

She was tempted to throw the bottle of gin into Greg's face.

Instead, she just took another shot. And then another.

_And why would she care about me. I'm stupid, draining, attention seeking. She's probably already tired of me, the way she was with Kai._

 

"You'd better slow down there, Pearl." Greg looked anxious. "Maybe I should... call her."

 

Pearl looked up.

Took another shot while looking Greg dead in the eye.

"Would she even come back if you did that?" she wondered aloud. "Since I obviously don't matter that much to her."

 

"I'm pretty sure she'd return if I told her you're on your way to fifteen units. You're the puker, right?"

 

Pearl turned pale.

"Right," she said coldly. "I'm leaving."

She attempted to get up. She fell right back down into the sofa, uttering curses under her breath.

 

"Should I call you a cab?"

 

Pearl glared at him.

"Don't talk to me," she hissed.

 

"Alrighty, I'll let her know you were here."

 

"No!" She didn't want to go. She wanted to suffer and be bitter and she wanted Greg to _leave_ and most of all she wanted to scream at Rose. "I'm staying until she gets back."

 

"I thought you were leaving."

 

"Yes, because you are _rude_ ," Pearl said. "I can't believe you didn't remember my name, but you know all about my mental health issues."

 

Greg looked at her, a little smug vengeance in his eyes. "Rose talks about some things more than others."

 

" _Fuck_ you," she hissed. "You don't deserve to know _anything_ about me. So I guess all of my issues are common gossip, huh? Oh, yeah, I guess all the staff in our school knows too because Rose can't keep her mouth shut."

 

"Ooh. You do have underlying issues."

 

" _Stop it_ ," Pearl snapped. "I came here because I'm angry, I don't need you trying to rile me up _more_."

 

"Go home, then. This is my home and you're a guest but you're being really rude."

 

"You can't throw me out," Pearl said. "This is Rose's home, and I haven't gotten what I came for, so I'm not leaving."

 

"Again, I could call her."

 

Pearl sat back with a huff. "Fine," she said.

 

Greg simply nodded. Finally. He pulled out an old brick Nokia. "I'm not a dealer anymore. I just can't afford a better phone," he explained, before dialing Rose .

 

Rose picked up on the third ring. "Hey, sweetie," she said cheerfully, "did you think of anything else I need to buy? I'm almost at the checkout."

 

"Uh, yeah. We have a. Very moody partner at yours. Pearl's now very drunk, too."

 

Rose stopped.

"Oh," she said. "What... does she want?"

 

"You, apparently. She, uh. Looks angry."

 

Oh. Shit.

"Tell her I'll be home as soon as I can," Rose said carefully. "Maybe keep her from drinking more." She still vividly remembered the time Pearl threw up in her guest room; she didn't really want a repeat of that.

 

"I'm not sure if I can. Sorry about your gin."

 

Rose sighed. She liked that gin. "I'll pick up some more of that, then," she said.

 

"I'll pay you back...Eventually."

 

"Don't worry about it." _This is probably my fault anyway._

"I'll see you in a bit, okay?" She abstained from blowing him a kiss through the phone like she usually did, and instead just hung up.

 

"Love yo-" Oh. The line clicked. Greg's face fell before turning to Pearl. "She's on her way."

 

"Good."

Pearl had heard most of the phone call, even the things Rose had said. That casual 'sweetie' gnawed at her, but she felt a small bit of triumph when Rose hung up without telling Greg she loved him.

The bottle of gin was nearly empty. "How long will she be?"

 

"She took my van, so, uh. Twenty minutes. Enough time to watch an episode."

 

Pearl frowned.

"An episode of what, exactly?"

 

"Oh. Rose gave me these as a present. It's my favourite old show from a few years back. Before your time. We bond over it."

 

Disgusting. Pearl wanted no part of it. "Fine, let's watch an episode."

 

"Oh, this one is really good." Greg pressed play. Some kind of holiday episode.

 

It was, as expected, disgusting. The premise of the entire show seemed ludicrous. Nevertheless, Pearl found herself watching.

"My friend Amy would enjoy this," she finally said, reluctantly.

 

"Maybe you should watch it with her? It's much better if you kind of go from the beginning and give it a chance. Except the pilot is kinda... not that great."

 

"Oh, I have no desire to watch any more of this than absolutely necessary." Pearl turned up her nose. This show was like a train wreck - she just couldn't look away.

 

"Oh." Greg looked disappointed. "Each to their own."

 

"Indeed."

Pearl had another shot of gin. If she'd been with anyone else, they probably would have made her stop drinking by now. "I'm going to get some water."

 

"Alright. Actually, you hold tight, I'm closer to the kitchen."

 

"No, thanks, I'll be okay." Pearl got up. The room was spinning, but she knew where the bathroom was.

She barely made it before vomiting her guts out.

It occurred to her that she couldn't recall ever using this bathroom for its intended purpose, but this was the second time she'd thrown up here.

 

Greg heard and was on his feet in seconds. "Hey! You alright in there?"

 

Pearl took a few moments, took a few deep breaths, and eventually figured that nothing more was going to come up. She gingerly got to her feet.

"Fine," she just said before rinsing her mouth.

 

 

"You sure? Sounds... rough."

 

Pearl spat out the water in her mouth. "It's what happens when you drink too much," she said bitterly, before going into the kitchen to get the water she'd been wanting to get.

 

"I gathered that." Greg looked away as he smelt the bitterness from the bathroom. "Oh man."

 

"Just stay away," Pearl said coldly. "This doesn't even really concern you, anyway."

Just in that moment, she heard the door being unlocked. Rose was back.

 

"Oh boy. Okay. I'm just going to take my box set upstairs and retire for... the next week. See you. Hope you sober up okay." Greg called out, rushing to the door to give Rose a kiss and with a desperate look of relief, making his merry way up the steps.

 

Rose opened the door and was greeted with the smell of vomit.

She scrunched up her face and closed the door behind her. Greg came towards her and kissed her, and she knew that look.

Part of her wished he'd stayed.

She carefully made her way into the hallway.

"Pearl?"

She encountered her in the kitchen as she went to put away the groceries she'd just bought.

 

"There she is... Ms... Player. Wait, no, players are good. But I guess if I slutshamed you, I'd be an even bigger hypocrite," Pearl slurred, pouring herself another glass of water and parading down to see her.

 

Rose frowned.

"Pearl," she said again, "are you okay? How much have you had?"

She kept her distance. She had no idea what had happened, and also didn't want to risk Pearl throwing up on her again.

 

"I'm fine!" Pearl snarled. "I haven't had that much. I'm just. Angry. Disappointed. At me. At you."

 

"Okay, okay. Here, let's go through to the living room. Should I get a bucket for you?" Rose held out her arms to support Pearl.

 

"Too late. I'll be fine. Why didn't you tell me you had someone else living here?"

 

"It never came up," Rose said. She gently led Pearl into the living room and sat her down. "Can you tell me what happened?"

 

"Met up with Ruby and Sapphire. They brought a friend who'd had some experience with you."

 

"Oh?" Rose tried not to think too hard about who that might be. Pearl would probably tell her either way.

 

And she did.

"You never told me about Kai." Her tone was hostile.

 

"I didn't realise I needed to tell you about every single past relationship I've ever had, Pearl," Rose said, working hard to appear calm and collected. Her heart was speeding up. Kai. Of all people, Pearl had talked to Kai. It would... explain why she was so angry.

 

"Oh, of course you'd say that. Why? So that I'd not pry in and find out I'm just another one in a long chain of... students! Vulnerable people!"

 

A million thoughts raced through Rose's head.

She sighed.

"Come here," she said, holding out her arms.

 

"No. Not right now. Rose. I'm done with you pretending like it's okay to keep these things away from me. You're not treating me like a real person."

 

Rose closed her eyes. Her arms dropped.

"Have you considered," she said, "that Kai has given you an incomplete and inaccurate view of the situation? In my view, your situation is in no way comparable to his."

 

"I don't care! I still deserved to know the truth. About him. About Greg... living with you! Sleeping with you!"

 

Rose sighed. "We're adults in a consenting relationship. Is that what you're angry about? That I've slept with him, and not you? I'm sorry, Pearl, but you're still my student. I'm toeing the line of the illegal as it is, I'm not going to take my chances."

 

"You! Didn't! Tell me!"

 

"I thought you'd figure out that adult relationships include sex. Honestly, Pearl, you're usually smarter than this."

 

"It isn't just that. It's... this whole poly thing. I see it now. You're just using it... something perfectly legitimate - something that I've just discovered I am and I'm not broken and you've been using these relationships for... gain. To control them. To control what I eat. My grades. Which members of staff I'm allowed to talk to. You... you set up people at school. You told people at school! You told your boyfriend that I'm apparently some kid! It's fucking weird that I'm not the first student you've dated!"

By the time she was finished, she was red in the face, out of breath and staggering to keep up.

Drunk. And all too honest.

 

Rose's forehead sported the tiniest of frowns.

"You're wrong about a lot of things, you know," she said. "I'm not controlling you, heavens, no. I just want you to be your own, healthy, person."

 

Pearl screamed. "How the flying fuck can you just. Absorb that? Does nothing provoke a reaction from you? Or are you too busy being some perfect morally altruistic being?" She shook. "You know what? I'm done. We're through."

 

That _did_ provoke a reaction from Rose. She stood, took in a sharp breath. "You don't mean that," she said, her voice trembling. "Please, Pearl, think about this. You're usually such a smart and rational person."

 

Pearl’s voice was all too chilling. "No."

 

"Pearl, please." Rose clenched her jaw. "I'm sorry I've not told you about my previous relationships. I'm sorry. I - I'll... I'll be honest with you from now on."

 

Under any other circumstances, Pearl would have buckled at those very words.

And yet, with the contents of the gin in her system, she turned around. "Bye. Have fun fucking your boy toy."

 

"Pearl!"

Rose reached out, touched Pearl's shoulder. "Pearl, look at me, please," she said. "You're not being reasonable. Let's... let's talk about this when you've had some sleep... and maybe not so much alcohol."

 

Pearl swatted the hand away, glaring at Rose before nearly falling over. "Fuck you. Don't touch me."

 

Rose pulled away like she'd been burned. Unbidden tears stung in her eyes.

"Go, then, if you must," she said softly. "I'll find you at school."

 

Pearl left wordlessly, not even bothering to break down until she was in the comfort of her own room.

Alone.

 

Rose, on the other hand, broke down right after the door fell shut behind Pearl.

She was shaking. Disappointed. What had she been thinking, keeping all of this from Pearl? Was she controlling? Was all of her protective instinct just another way of controlling?

Was she like Roxy?

She shook her head; she was _nothing_ like Roxy. If Pearl had just _listened_...

She had to fix this. She had to. She couldn't lose Pearl.

But would Pearl allow her to fix this?

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have surprise for you!
> 
> Next week will be the one year anniversary of us starting to publish this fic. Also, the much-dreaded careers fair is coming up, so from the week after next (May 31st), we will be doing an ETV-Bomb!
> 
> One chapter, every day for a week!
> 
> Are you excited? We sure are!
> 
> Of course this would not be possible (or at the very least not nearly as much fun) without the amazing support from our readership, so this is also a big thanks to all of you for reading this fic and sticking with us! We love and appreciate every single one of you so much (special mention here for the one that currently goes by azzhoe). <3


	53. Act V - Chapter XIX: Telling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings for this chapter! Enjoy!

 

The next day, Pearl awoke with her second hangover. Late. She ran into school without breakfast and two menthol cigarettes en route. By the time she arrived, had she still cared about her appearance, she would've probably cried.  
  
Not today.  
  
She stumbled into homeroom, at least grateful she had no biology today. Too wrapped up in her thoughts to even say hi to Amy.

 

Amethyst was early, excited to meet Pearl. She'd been a little disappointed when all of Sunday had passed without a text from her, but had gathered together all of her courage.

She'd thought about things. Last time they spoke, Pearl had barely mentioned Rose. Pearl had paid attention to Amethyst alone, and made her feel like she was actually valued of her own, not just a replacement or backup.

So Amy had figured that now-or-never, she was going to ask Pearl out.

She'd written several pages full of notes of how she was going to do it. She'd made _lists_. She was nervous, and she wanted this to be perfect.

So when Monday morning came, Amethyst was sober, and both anticipating and dreading Pearl's arrival. Pearl was late, which was unusual for her; just as Amethyst had worked herself up to texting her, she stumbled in.

Didn't even acknowledge Amethyst. It hurt, but Amy pushed the thoughts aside. Maybe Pearl was just tired. Hadn't seen her.

"Pearl!"

She got up and came over, holding out her arms for a hug.

 

"Not... not right now, Amethyst. I'm not doing good."

 

Amy's arms fell, as did her face.

"Oh," she said. "Can I at least sit with you?"

 

"Sure." Pearl sniffed. A cramping in her belly told her she'd be due for a period soon. Amethyst would understand her bitterness. "I'll talk about it later. Just not here."

 

 

Amethyst frowned. Decided to reschedule her plans for later; Pearl might not be in the best place for that just now. And it certainly wasn't going to be perfect.

"Jeez, what happened," she said instead. She had a feeling she was going to regret asking. "Did Quartz break up with you or something? We got uh..." She grimaced. There wasn't enough time to go somewhere else; their lesson would start in about ten minutes. "I got a free third period," she said instead, "if you're free too we could go hang out in the park again."

 

"I should probably stay in school and keep an eye on her. We're enemies now. I broke up with her, FYI."

 

Amethyst stared.

"I was... joking," she said, "I didn't actually - what the hell happened?"

 

"Met an ex. He explained just how she works."

 

This just kind of solidified the fact that Amethyst really didn't want to know. Her shoulders slumped, her good mood and excitement all but gone. "Oh boy," she just said.

 

"I'm just. So angry at her! She... took advantage of my feelings. For what? Personal gain!"

 

Yep, Amy regretted asking. Her stomach sank. "That... really doesn't sound like her," she said. "She's so protective of you."

 

"It's a guise. All relationships are. I'm going to be a single cat lady. Or maybe I'll own birds. Ugh. I don't know. I hate people. All of them."

 

It was like a punch in the gut. Amethyst clenched her teeth.

"Oh," she just said.

 

"So, while I drank an entire bottle of gin and passed out at home yesterday, what did you do?"

 

Oh hey, at least Pearl still acknowledged her existence. It tasted bitter.

"Nothing much," she said. _Planned to ask you out. Waited for texts from you. Resisted the urge to get high and call you. Didn't really think about anything but you. Thanks._

 

"Huh. Anyway, back to me." Pearl looked down. "I'm just so pissed off. Amethyst... Are you listening?"

 

Anger started to boil in Amethyst's belly. "Yeah, yeah, you're angry at Quartz, I get it," she said. "Why don't you talk about it some more."

 

"Yeah, so I found out her boyfriend lived with her and they had sex and... she never wanted to do that with me? Or even discuss it with me? Oh, it's not like I want to give every part of myself to you, Rose."

 

And there it was. Amethyst had really hoped Pearl would catch on to her dismissive tone, but apparently not.

"Every part of yourself, huh," she repeated quietly. She felt something shatter inside her. So much for not being a distraction.

 

"Yeah." Pearl looked down and gave a harsh sigh. "Oh geeze. Class starts in two. And I didn't have time this morning for makeup." Her eyes then widened. "Shit! Hickeys!"

 

Amethyst gave her a hard look. She clenched her teeth. "Yeah, I mean, it's not like you can get sex elsewhere," she said. Her voice was cool. Almost distant.

 

Pearl snorted. "What, and have to wait for you to be intoxicated out of your mind?"

 

That hurt. It _really_ hurt, especially with all of the mental work Amethyst had done over the weekend.

She got up. They had to leave soon anyway, but Amethyst really wasn't in the mood for class anymore.

"I'm going home," she said, grabbing her bag. "I don't feel so well." She wondered if Pearl would pick up on the fact that Amethyst was imitating the tone Pearl had used last time they'd seen each other, just before they'd gone to get high in the park.

 

Pearl swallowed. She picked up on the tone. She'd said something wrong - what exactly felt like a total mystery. "I'll come, too. Don't... feel like staying to smell the Roses anymore."

 

"No, man, I'm good." The last thing Amethyst wanted was to hear more about _Rose_. Goddamn Rose Quartz. But she was more angry at Pearl now. Pearl should know better.

 

"You're just... leaving me?"

 

Amethyst huffed. "Well, yeah, since I'm obviously of no use to you unless I'm _intoxicated out of my mind_." She shouldered her bag and turned.

 

"Amethyst! You know I didn't mean it like that!" Too late. The bell rang. People started to walk out.

 

Amethyst rolled her eyes and shot a look at Pearl. "Yeah, well, next time you break up with someone, maybe don't bitch about it to someone who you _know_ has feelings for you. Bye."

 

Pearl's mouth dropped open. "You have feelings for me?"

 

Amethyst didn't even grace that with a response. She just stomped outside, tears in her eyes.

 

Pearl quickly gathered her things, if she ran fast enough she'd catch up.  
  
The limp in her leg didn't help, however. By the time she made it into the main corridor, classroom morning traffic was already abuzz. Frustrated, she swore under her breath before realising Amethyst would be at the reception desk, right next to the Principal's office.

 

Which was exactly where Amethyst was. She hesitated, then walked in without knocking.

"Rori? I'm going home," she announced. Rori, at least, would be able to tell that Amethyst wasn't exactly okay.

 

And she did. Aurora turned to Amethyst with a look. "What's going on? Are you ill? Do you need a day off?"

 

"Yeah. You can do that, right?" Amethyst lowered her voice, glanced over to Diamond's door, which was firmly closed. "I would like to officially announce that your sister is a _fucking idiot_ ," she said, unable to hold back her tears anymore.

 

"She's not in. She's monitoring the halls. What did Pearl do? I'll sign you out."

 

"She was a fucking idiot," Amethyst said bitterly. "I'll tell you later."

 

"Alright. Be quick, the Principal will be here soon."

 

"Ok. See ya, Rori." Amy gave her a lopsided smile, then headed out. Pearl might be close - she could have caught up with her by now, but Amy really wanted to avoid her.

She scanned the crowded hallway as she stepped out, looking for the fastest way to the exit.

 

"Amethyst!" Pearl was nearly there. "Amethyst, wait! Come on. We should... talk! Amethyst -"

 

Amethyst heard, and bolted. She darted through the students as fast as she could, knowing that Pearl would never be able to follow with her leg. She hoped that was signal enough; she wasn't fit enough to run all the way home.

 

Pearl saw and tried to follow. "Amethyst!"

 

And then there was someone tall in her way.

"Going somewhere, Pearl?" Marigold Diamond asked.

 

Pearl staggered back. "My friend. I... I need to..."

 

"You _need_ ," Diamond said, "to attend your classes. I thought I had made it _abundantly_ clear that I will not tolerate any more misdemeanour from you." She paused, looked at Pearl. Froze. Those were hickeys.

Diamond's eyes narrowed.

_Quartz._

 

Pearl slumped as she watched Amethyst go. Better to cut losses. "Fine. I'll go."

 

"That's what I thought," Diamond said, eyes still narrowed. "Tell Miss Quartz to see me in my office if you see her, will you?"

 

"I'm not talking to her anymore," Pearl muttered. "What do you want with her?"

 

"You better start talking to her. It wouldn't reflect well on your grades if you didn't, with her being your teacher and all," Diamond said.

 

"I can get better grades than anyone in my class without her help. I... she wanted to get close first."

 

Diamond raised an eyebrow.

"Would you like to come to my office to discuss said... closeness?" she asked, tone suddenly dangerously gentle.

 

Pearl swallowed. So. This could be interesting. And perhaps... a way to get back at Rose. For all the students she'd hurt.

But then again... would it be right? She felt a pang of guilt just thinking about it.

"Yes."

 

Diamond smirked.

"Well then, you know where my office is," she said. "After you, young lady."

 

Pearl swallowed and clenched her fists as she paced to the office. She saw Aurora. Concern over her face. "You. Did... you see Amy?" The Principal was seconds from entering.

 

"I signed her out," Aurora said, and with a look of 'what did you do this time', she added, "She wouldn't tell me what was going on."

Diamond entered after Pearl. "Chit-chatting, huh? Please. In my office, Pearl."

Aurora's gaze passed from her to Pearl. Her eyes widened.

 

"Sorry."

Almost by miracle, it wasn't aimed at Diamond.

Pearl entered the office and noticed herself shake.

 

Diamond closed the door behind her with a smug smile.

"Take a seat, Pearl," she said before sitting down in her own chair. "Just like old times, isn't it? Now, tell me about Quartz."

 

"Um. Sure." Pearl swallowed. This would get Rose fired.

She looked away. Her anger all too suddenly replaced by fear.

She had to protect people.

But she had also been drunk and high over the weekend. What if her borderline had made her take things the wrong way?

After a few seconds she took a deep inhale. Everything felt muddy. "I had feelings for my biology teacher since the start of this year. I thought it was appropriate to pursue them because I was of age."

 

Diamond's eyes flickered down to the hickeys on Pearl's neck.

"And Quartz felt it was appropriate to... reciprocate?" she asked.

 

"To an extent. She... was clear with me that it would be impossible at first and that it was then inappropriate. But... when I went into hospital something changed. Or maybe it was even before that. She was suspicious of you tailing her."

 

"Ah. I see. So, Pearl. Can you tell me exactly how far she's gone? What have you... done." The hickeys were proof enough as far as Diamond was concerned. This wasn't innocent; far from it.

 

"We've... held hands. And given... h- is that a picture of you and Aurora at a party?"

 

"It's none of your concern," Diamond said. "You were saying about Quartz?"

 

"Physical contact."

 

"Hm. Care to be more specific?"

 

"You know... hugs. That kinda stuff."

 

"Is that all?" It was clear to see that Diamond was _very_ sceptical.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Hm." Diamond's eyes narrowed. "I've had my suspicions about Quartz. Any detailed information you could give would be... very valuable."

 

"I met a former student of hers. He was also in a... relationship with her at his time here."

 

"Doubtful, as we do not have boys here," Diamond said. "But do elaborate."

 

"He's trans." Pearl swallowed. "He was also smitten with her it seemed, and she invited him into a part of her poly circle only to later ditch him."

 

"Oh, you mean a girl who thinks she's a boy," Diamond said. "Well, I think I may have said that Quartz has been doing this for years. Pursuing... inappropriate interactions with students. You are only the latest in a long line of victims, I'm afraid."

 

"Well then. She's been educating another willing victim. I'm in love - I was in love with her. And I did a lot of things I regret for her."

The way Diamond had described Kai made her stomach turn. She felt sick.

 

Diamond smiled pleasantly. "Would you like to report anything else?" she asked.

 

"Is there anything else you want to know?"

 

"That depends on whether there's anything else I _should_ know," Diamond said. "Has she touched you inappropriately?"

 

"Outside of kisses... Not much."

 

"Kisses, huh." Earlier, it had just been hugs. "Are you sure about that?"

 

"We were in a relationship. It felt right."

 

"A relationship with a student," Diamond said. "Well, I'm sure you know what that means for her, don't you? You can tell me the truth of what exactly happened, Pearl. I'm on your side." Well, as long as it was about stopping this... relationship. Disgusting.

 

"Nothing too awful. I enjoyed myself. I'd even say she didn't go far enough for me. But... I realised she was using my feelings. And that she's preyed on others, younger than me."

 

Diamond nodded. Clearly, she wasn't going to get anything more out of Pearl. This was still good, though. After months, years of suspecting Quartz... finally, she had undeniable proof. "You may go," she said, "unless there's anything else?"

 

"I'm going to be safe, right? You're not going to tell her I spilled?"

 

"Of course." As if Diamond cared. All she wanted was to get back at Quartz. "Leave the door open, will you," she said.

 

"Sure." Not much opportunity to speak to Aurora, then.

She gritted her teeth. What was she thinking? She didn't want to talk to Aurora anyway. "See you, Principal."

 

"Have a good day, Pearl. Be good."

Diamond smirked as Pearl left.

Aurora looked up as Pearl stepped outside. She glanced towards the Principal's door, then got up to hold the door open for Pearl, communicating with a look that she wanted to talk to her.

Outside.

 

Pearl curled her fingers and nodded. Once they were out, she sighed. "Are you going to tell me I'm a fuck up again?"

 

"I just want to know what's going on," Aurora said, her voice audibly shaking. "What does she want with you?" Amy had told her that apparently Pearl had ended her sessions with Marigold; so why was she here? "And what did you do to Amy?"

 

"I... I... found out some things about Ms Quartz. And... what happened with me and Amy is none of your business!" She knew Rori wouldn't miss her hickey collection either.

 

And indeed she didn't.

"She was really upset," Aurora said. "What, did you sleep with her and then dump her?"

She also didn't miss that Pearl called Rose 'Ms Quartz'.

 

"No! I just... wanted to talk to her but she got all quiet and avoided shit and ughh! She's impossible!"

 

"If you say so." It was likely Amy would tell a different story. Aurora sighed. "What's your business with Diamond?"

 

"Quartz. Don't you worry your pretty little head. I'm not fucking everyone in this school, geeze!"

 

Aurora swallowed heavily.

"That's _really_ not what I'm worried about," she said. "You can fuck whoever you want. I just - just don't want you getting in with the wrong sort of people." She clenched her teeth, glanced in Marigold's direction again. Not Pearl. Anyone but Pearl.

 

"I'm staying away from her. I... needed to do that. I'm going to go to my lesson. See you."

 

Aurora breathed a sigh of relief that she felt she'd been holding in for months.

She came in and hugged Pearl, on impulse. She hadn't done that in far too long.

She kept it brief before stepping away again. "You take care of yourself, okay?"

 

Pearl froze. A few days ago, she would have left another set of scars on her sister's face. She wondered what had changed. "Yeah. You... you too."

 

Aurora nodded, her throat tight. She watched Pearl go before reluctantly stepping back into her office.

Marigold was waiting for her. Aurora's heart clenched painfully.

"Slacking off, are we?" Marigold said coldly.

"Just... a bathroom break, Principal."

"Well, I have a task for you. Get out a staff suspension form. Two weeks should be adequate to get to the bottom of this."

Aurora froze.

"Y-yes, Miss Diamond," she said.

"Don't let word get out, we're keeping this hush-hush until after the careers fair."

"Yes, Miss Diamond." Aurora made her way to her chair and sat down.

She felt the knew the answer before she even asked.

"Who's being suspended, if I may ask?"

She looked up to meet Marigold's cold eyes.

"Rose Quartz."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is our one year anniversary of publishing this fanfic! Celebrate with us, from next week, with our EtV-bomb!  
> Wednesday to Wednesday, starting on the 31st!
> 
> We'll do a proper announcement on our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/) soon!


	54. Act V - Intermission II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to our Educating the Victim-Bomb!  
> If the Stevenbomb has left you shaken, look no further...
> 
> (It's okay, we feel the same way.)
> 
> So right up until next Wednesday, we will publish one chapter a day! We will try to keep it as close to 10pm UK time as possible, so look up what time that is in your timezone and get HYPE!
> 
> We'll be posting any updates along the way on our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> Also, if you're one of our regular fans and have stuck with us for a while: We cleaned up the blog and the fic on Ao3, so now's the perfect time for a reread because for once, everything is (should be) working!!!
> 
> Now: enjoy!
> 
> Content warning for this chapter: Death.

_Claire died on a bright sunny morning. She’d elected not to go to hospital again after her last visit. Marigold spent every moment with her._

_Claire couldn’t sleep that night._

_She said she knew it was time. Marigold held back her tears. Several times, Claire leaned in as if to kiss her. Every time, she stopped mid-motion. Avoided Marigold’s eyes._

_And as the sun rose, Claire drifted off. Marigold held her._

_She could feel the moment Claire’s heart stopped beating._

_\--_

_There was only one goal Marigold had set herself for Claire’s funeral._

_She was determined not to cry._

_ _

_It was sunny and warm, a lovely spring day. The eulogy was held by a member of Claire’s family. Marigold felt slightly guilty. Out of everyone in the entire world, she had been closest to Claire. She'd organised the funeral, the inheritance, everything. She should have been the one to hold the eulogy._

_She'd found herself incapable._

_Her feelings were in turmoil, her face stony. Azure and Roxy were by her side, both in tears._

_ _

_She stayed in Claire's house after the funeral. Already only a guest in the house she'd called home for years. More than ever, the house felt empty. Her bed felt empty._

_She couldn't sleep. No tears were shed._

_Instead, in the morning, Marigold found several bottles of good, expensive wine - not Claire's own wine; that was sacred, not to be touched, but there was other wine in the house._

_Hours later, she was wandering around the vineyard. Not lost, just trying to numb her feelings. Familiar trails among the wine, the sun shining down - it had barely rained since Claire had died._

_Everything was spinning, but Marigold was still not crying. She counted it as a personal victory._

_She_ missed _Claire._

_Claire was buried on her own land, a good walk away from the house. Marigold's feet found the way on their own. She didn't even realise where she was going until she found herself at the grave._

_To her surprise, she was not alone there. The blue hijab was clearly visible against the greens and browns of the surrounding land._

_"Azure."_

_Azure did not turn, or show any reaction that she'd heard Marigold._

_Marigold stepped forward, stood next to her._

_Azure was crying, thick tears flowing ceaselessly down her face._

_Marigold felt her heart harden._

_She bent down, lit the two candles by Claire's grave. It was broad daylight, but it was about the gesture more than anything._

_She was drunk, and one of the flames licked her skin. She hissed and drew back._

_"Did you hurt yourself?" Azure's voice said softly._

_Marigold held her hand. "No," she said, almost too aggressively. She got up; she stood way taller than Azure, and yet Azure's piercing dark eyes seemed to look down on her._

_It had always been this way._

_"Why did you come here?" Marigold asked eventually._

_"The same reason you did," Azure said. "I'm grieving."_

_Marigold huffed. "You're letting your emotions get the better of you, Azure."_

_Azure looked away like she'd been stung. Blinked. Fresh tears glittered on her cheeks._

_"Being here will just make you feel worse."_

_Azure looked up._

_"Why did_ you _come here, Marigold?" she asked._

_Marigold hesitated, then shrugged._

_"I'm drunk," she said._

_"Ah."_

_For a long moment, they stood in silence. Marigold stared at Claire's tombstone. Her heart aching unfamiliarly. She blinked._

_She wasn't going to cry. Not give her emotions the free pass, like Azure did._

_"What's the use," she said, almost more to herself, "of feeling like this?"_

_Azure cast her a look. Hesitated. Reached out for Marigold's hand._

_Marigold, suddenly remembering Claire's words - about Azure, Roxy, all the women at the club - pulled her hand away. Didn't meet Azure's eyes._

_ _

_"I'm not... like that, Azure."_

_She turned._

_"Good day."_

_She didn't look back as she walked away, her steps heavy and her eyes stinging._

_ _


	55. Act V - Chapter XX: Reunited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying this bomb so far! Please feel free to promo the shit out of this - if you're looking for rebloggable material, our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/) is full of those!
> 
> No content warnings for this chapter. Enjoy!

 

 

It was a new school day and the beginning of the annual careers fair. Blue had texted Aurora the night before to let her know she'd be at the school before seven, and Aurora had dragged Amy along - who was now napping in their new mini, coated by McDonalds breakfast wrappers - for an early start.

 

Azure had made herself scarce very soon after they'd arrived. She'd said something about catching up with an old friend.

Blue internally rolled her eyes, wondering how much longer Azure was going to try and pretend that Principal Diamond and her didn’t have history.

Probably about as long as Blue wasn't telling her that Principal Diamond had been seeing her sister.

Said sister arrived shortly after Azure left.

"Rori!" Blue waved at her from across the hall.

 

Aurora saw Blue and her nervous look melted into a smile. "Oh, Blue, you're already here. Alone?"

 

 

Blue could tell Aurora was relieved to see her. "Not really! Azure's just off to see an old..." She raised an eyebrow. "Friend of hers. You can help me set up!"

 

"Oh, it would be a pleasure!" Aurora chuckled. "Haven't had the time to catch up outside of calls recently, anyway. Everything okay? What's the plan today- if you even need one, geeze, your stall is always so popular."

 

"Well, you know, the usual," Blue said. "We've got the big screen here running playthroughs of various games, you know. The good stuff. Some of it is still in development. And then we have a bunch of flyers, info zines... most of these kids don't even know all of the work involved in making games. Azure has her computer as well, she'll be running a few workshops. You know. The usual stuff."

She took out a large box. "Here. Flyers, pamphlets, freebies. We got vegan sweets this year! Her idea, not mine."

 

"Oh! Are they gluten free, too?"

 

"Probably." Blue shrugged. She started taking out flyers from the boxes, setting up the stall. "So, what's the deal with you, then?" she asked. "How's life? Are you gonna up and run away the moment Principal Maricunt comes in here?"

 

"Don't be silly, she can't just hurt me in broad daylight. I have to deal with it. Pearl... spoke to me recently, though."

 

"Oh?" Blue raised her eyebrows. "So she can still talk, huh? What'd she say?"

 

"Worried about my flatmate. She is fucking around with Amy's feelings."

 

Blue snorted. "As usual then, only she's finally moved on from the boys she had before. Let me tell you, the monogamous lifestyle is far simpler."

 

"She's just a kid. She's being dumb and no one is there to look after her and she doesn't want me."

 

"She's like twenty now, right? Plenty grown up, if you ask me. You can't mum her forever, Rori."

 

"Nineteen, geeze. You were a mess mentally then. Just out of your last visit to the psych ward."

 

Blue frowned. "Hey, I've moved on from that. She will too. She's just gotta make her own mistakes. And you." She reached out and put a hand on Aurora's shoulder. "Have to let her."

 

"Not when I see her in so much pain that's... preventable." Aurora turned around, sighing. "I raised her. Not mom. I feel... responsible, still."

 

"Yeah, yeah. Have you actually talked to _her_ about that? You know. Communication and all that." Blue turned away from Aurora and dug out the big screen, hooking it up to her work laptop.

 

"I would if she wanted to even communicate. She hates me, still."

 

Blue rolled her eyes. "You'd think she'd know better by now. Oh well. Not my circus, not my monkeys."

 

"It never is, is it?" Aurora sighed, envious of the detachment.

 

"Well, the company is. Azure. You." Blue shrugged. "Apart from that, no."

 

"It must be so wonderful to not care." Aurora sighed. "You've never missed all that much but the occasional heartbreak, trust me."

 

"I know. Hence why I'm okay with all of this." Blue smiled at Aurora. "So, are you just gonna stand there or are you actually gonna help?"

 

Aurora laughed. "Oh yeah. Tell me what to do."

 

"Just grab some flyers and pamphlets and sweets. Put them out on the table in a way that makes it look appealing. You can do that, right?"

 

"Right." She nodded, and got to work.

 

\--

 

Marigold Diamond had been in very early - the only one in earlier than her was Rose Quartz. She'd actually found it in her to help Quartz with basic things, but not without making offhand comments.

She hadn't told Quartz that she'd be suspended by the end of the day. No, no, that pleasure was still to be experienced later.

Instead, she eventually went to her office and sorted out some paperwork.

Really, she was waiting for a special guest.

She knew she'd show up soon enough.

 

And Azure did. Dressed in a sleek navy blue number that covered her arms and to the top of her hips. Beneath, leggings in black that matched that of her lipstick. She pressed her way in as if she owned the place, much like a cat. "Well, well. Marigold Diamond in the flesh. Is it really that time of year?"

 

 

Marigold looked up. She was rather dressed up herself, perfect eyeliner, golden blazer.

Azure looked radiant.

"Good morning, Azure," Marigold said. "As punctual as ever, I see. Is everything ready?"

 

"My prodigee is taking care of it. I thought I'd visit you. Here, flowers." White lilies. "Thought they'd tone down whatever visual disaster you'd get up to."

 

Lilies, as usual. Marigold's heart ached.

The same flowers that grew on Claire's grave.

She took them. "Thank you," she said.

Azure was insistent on reminding her, in this way, every time they met. Another reason why Marigold kept their interactions to the minimum.

She took a single flower from the bunch and fastened it to her buttonhole. "How does this look?" she asked, ignoring the insult.

 

Azure looked almost surprised, if not amused. "You look like you're going to the world's gayest funeral. How have you been?"

 

"If I was going to a funeral, I'd be wearing black. You know that," Marigold shot back. "I've been well." A lie. Her days were only pain and bitterness these days. No Aurora. No alcohol. Nothing to keep her demons away. "How are you?"

 

"Looks like wedding bells around the corner. I'm planning to pop the question if she doesn't in a few months. You'll get to meet her."

 

Marigold's heart clenched. "Is she with you today? Your future CEO, right?"

 

"Yes. I'm trying to make the transition as smooth as possible."

 

Marigold fought down her jealousy. To see her friend from her youth so happy with another woman...

Part of her wanted to find Aurora. Pretend everything was okay. Play with her like she used to.

"Well, congratulations," she said, her mouth tight. "I assume I'll be invited."

 

Azure smiled. "As long as you're ready for absolutely nothing traditional, I'll put you on the Facebook event guest list. We're using it to be environmentally friendly."

 

"I didn't say I was going to come," Marigold said. "You know how I feel about... queer things. I just consider it common courtesy to invite your old friend."

Her heart beating loudly. She wanted to go to Azure's wedding, she really did. But she also knew she wasn't ready.

Not yet.

"Do you have a date yet?"

 

Azure looked forlorn. "Not yet. I must say I'm disappointed in you. You know I've got no one from bridge club left but you. But I suppose you must still be fragile. Though..." Her look darkened. "I would have expected you to catch up with the twenty first century first."

 

"You do go out of your way to remind me of that," Marigold said, her tone bitter. She glanced at the lilies. "I am living my life in my own way. As are you. You're my old friend from back then, so I won't say anything, but I expect you to mind your own business with regards to my life as well."

 

"You're my friend, Marigold."

 

Marigold looked up, her eyes meeting Azure's.

"Yes," she said, "so?"

 

"It doesn't matter. You wouldn't understand, anyway."

 

Marigold's eyes flickered to the clock.

"We have a little time," she said. "Enlighten me, please."

 

"There's no bothering with you. Mind your own business, if that's what I'm supposed to do."

 

"As you wish." Marigold didn't like Azure's tone. Didn't like that it seemed to be implying something.

Something Marigold was not ready to fully confront.

"So, did you just come here to drop vague statements and give me a painful reminder of our past?" she asked. "Or was there anything else?"

 

"When did you get so unfriendly?"

 

Marigold paused.

"I'm not unfriendly," she said. "I don't know why you think you're here, but as far as I'm concerned, this is strictly business. Do you disagree?"

 

"Oh, sure." A challenge, then. Azure could make Marigold crack. Express something. "I'll go and finish up. Enjoy yourself, alone as usual."

 

It stung. But Marigold should have expected it.

"I thought you were going to introduce me to your... partner," she said, her voice flat.

 

"You've made it clear you're not interested." Azure began to walk to the door.

 

"Not particularly, no. I merely thought you wanted me to be a part of your life. Either way, I'm not really bothered." She didn't make a move to follow Azure, although her heart was already aching for Azure to come back.

 

She simply raises a hand to say bye, her face determined. She walked out without another word.

It was time.

Time to make Marigold uncomfortable.

 

At the fair, Blue and Aurora were almost done setting up the stall. Blue saw Azure leave the Principal's office and waved her over.

"She's back! Rori, she's coming, I can finally introduce you!"

 

Rori looked up. Oh. "Is that her, then?" She nudged Blue as Azure came closer. "She's hot."

 

"Course she is. You keep your hands to yourself, yeah?" Blue grinned at Aurora and then went up to greet Azure with a sweet kiss.

"We're nearly done," she told her. "You'll get to meet my sister! I've wanted you to meet her for ages. Come on!"

 

"Oh, she looks just like you under that mop of yours." Azure gave a gentle smile. "So, I hear you're the one who hurt Mari."

Aurora shook at this. "Y-... I think? So?"

 

Blue rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Other way round, Azure. Or maybe it was mutual, I dunno. But anyway, that's not the point. You're gonna get along, right?"

 

Azure took Aurora's hand to kiss it. "We're going to get along swimmingly. I can teach you things about her - catch me after the fair."

"Oh! Sure! I think Pearl might come to this. Amethyst said she'd make it."

 

"As long as you don't get along too well," Blue chimed in. "Azure, which games do you want to have the playthrough for? And do you have all of your things for the workshop?"

 

"All of them. Check my hard drive, they should be copied onto a word doc. And yes, I'm all set."

 

"Alright," Blue said, getting busy with the computer.

Marigold Diamond walked in a moment later.

There was a brief silence before she came over to their stall.

"Ah, I see you're all set," she said. "Good."

 

Aurora went quiet. Azure took this to her advantage. "Is this one of yours, then? She's simply precious."

 

"Oh, you mean Aurora? She's my secretary." Marigold didn't look at Aurora. Instead, fixated Blue. "Who's this, then?"

Blue looked up. "Blue Morgan. I'm Azure's girlfriend." She stretched out her hand for Marigold, who pointedly ignored it.

 

Azure shot Blue a knowing look before waltzing up to her and pressing another kiss. "And future CEO. My only intellectual foil."

 

Marigold grimaced at the kiss, ignoring the sharp pang of jealousy. Instead, just watched as Blue laughed lightly and kissed Azure.

She remembered Blue from years ago, remembered her well. If she was anything like she'd been as a teenager, Azure had chosen a challenge for a girlfriend. But if Marigold knew anything, it was that Azure never backed down from a challenge.

"Good for you," she said, her teeth clenched. "Aurora, a word, please. In my office."

 

"I think I'll need her here for now, actually. She's done a good job with the set up." Azure looked her down.

 

"Well, it looks like you're almost done, and as we have plenty of time before the fair starts, I'll be needing her elsewhere," Marigold said coldly. "Also, I am her boss, not you. Aurora." She finally looked at her secretary. The sight of Aurora felt like a punch to the gut.

 

"Oh, alright. We'll have to arrange a date later, Aurora dear. Pleasure to see you!" Azure shot Blue a look she knew her girlfriend would recognise. She was playing.

"Oh, sure!"

 

Marigold turned and walked to her office, knowing that Aurora would follow her.

Blue caught Azure's look and grinned once Marigold was out of earshot. "What are you planning, hm? You're up to no good."

 

Azure stroked Blue's hair. "She decided to try and test my patience. She's being a cunt about our wedding plans so I'm rising to the occasion. Let's make her uncomfortable. I'm sure these students wouldn't mind catching her on the grill for once."

 

Blue leaned in. "That sounds fun," she said. "You told her about our plans? Are you actually going to invite her?"

 

"She said she's not coming because you own a pussy."

 

Blue snorted. "Well, each to their own. Though I have it on very good authority that she's pretty gay herself."

 

"Oh, I'm sure most of the school knows. I wonder what she's getting up to."

 

 

 


	56. Act V - Chapter XXI: Searching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 of the bomb... hope you enjoy!
> 
> No warnings for this chapter!

 

 

In her office, Marigold Diamond was carrying out a vicious internal battle.

Part of her wanted nothing more than to throw away everything. Her recovery, her religion, her standards.

She was scared by just how _strong_ that part of her was. Stronger than it'd been in years.

She closed her eyes and waited for Aurora to come in.

"Do close the door behind you, Aurora," she said softly.

 

 

Aurora did as she was told. "If this is about milk in the staff room, I'm lactose intolerant. It wasn't me."

 

"As am I. This isn't about the milk."

Marigold turned around, her heart pounding.

Aurora was still so beautiful. Marigold had trouble remembering the excuse she'd had for calling her in.

"Two things," she said. "I expect you to be more productive at this fair, not just chatting with your sister at Azure's stall. I understand you've not seen her in a while, but it is my duty to remind you of your priorities in this job."

Was her voice a little more gentle than it usually was when she talked to Aurora?

 

"The fair... hasn't started, Marigold. Please relax." And extract that stick from your anus, Aurora thought, eyes flicking to Marigold's ass and then back up. "And the second?"

 

_Marigold. Marigold. She called me Marigold._

Under different circumstances, Marigold would have chastised Aurora for that. Now, it made colour rise to her cheeks. Her lips felt dry.

"The second," she said. Mentally grasping for anything, anything at all, any excuse to keep Aurora close to her for a few moments longer. "Oh, yes. It's not exactly urgent, and has very little to do with the fair, so I suppose it could wait, but I just thought of it now. Can you organise a substitute for Quartz from next week?"

 

Aurora looked at her. "Why?"

 

Marigold frowned. "I've told you I'm suspending her, yeah? The students have exams coming up. The final year students are probably okay without a teacher, but I'm worried about the younger girls. Surely you'll agree that their education is our primary concern."

 

"Yes, I suppose. I'll... do it after the fair. Is that all? I want to get back to Azure. She seemed nice." _Nicer than you._

 

It hurt. Marigold clenched her teeth. She desperately wanted to ask Aurora to stay.

She couldn't.

"As long as you remember your priorities, Aurora," she said with a soft sigh. "Other than that, I hope you have a good time."

 

"Seeing Blue here feels like the first time I've shown up to school since December and not desired the same fate as Laramy." Aurora got up and looked at Marigold. "But hey, who knows. Maybe before the end of the year you can claim my life, too. Have a good day. Avoid talking to me unless you need it."

And with that, she closed the door.

 

Marigold was shaken.

She stared at the door for several seconds after Aurora had left.

_She hates me. She will never forgive me. I deserve this._

The thought of losing her, however... it was almost too much to bear.

Marigold sighed, her head in her hands, knowing she'd not make it to the fair again until after it had begun.

 

Aurora stayed outside the door for a few seconds, hand on her beating heart. She'd been prescribed anxiety medication and had procrastinated taking it.

She regretted it now.

 

Downstairs, everything was set up. Azure had a box with everything she'd need for her workshop, which she'd get Blue to carry to the room she'd hold it in later on.

Marigold had been in a rather foul mood. Azure felt only a little regret. All of this was Marigold's own doing.

She checked her phone. Another hour until the fair would officially start.

 

 

Aurora nervously tred back to the hall. She came to Blue. "Nice work with the stall. Guess you're all set up."

 

"Yep, all done," Blue said cheerfully.

Azure met Aurora's eye.

"We can have that chat now, if you want, Aurora," she said. "You can live without me for a few minutes, can't you, Blue?"

 

"Oh yes, sure. We can talk. Don't. Do it often with important people like you but... sure!"

 

Azure smiled. "Come on then. I need to check out the room I've been given for my workshop anyway. You know where it is, don't you?"

She took her cane and waited for Aurora, despite knowing full well where she needed to go. She'd done this before; she always came prepared.

 

"Oh, of course, I can take you there if you'd like!" Aurora paced behind and caught up.

 

 

"That would be appreciated," Azure said. "Apologies for not being able to walk very fast, my joints have not been kind to me lately." She smiled at Aurora. "So, you and Marigold."

 

"It's okay, you've got plenty of time. We can leave early so you can get there, too." Aurora then sighed. "But you heard, then?"

 

"Through the grapevine." Blue hadn't exactly told her, just like Azure hadn't exactly told Blue that her and Marigold were old friends. Blue knew anyway, just like Azure knew about Marigold and Aurora. "I take it she's not been behaving herself."

 

"She's hurt me. My family. My sister's... girlfriend. I hate her. I'm quitting soon."

 

Azure let out a small sigh. "Oh, she used to be such a cheerful girl. I do wonder what happened." She knew what happened. "What did she want from you just now?"

 

"It flew in one ear and out of the other. Probably something homophobic." A lie. The conversation wouldn't stop playing in her head.

 

Azure stopped walking. Looked at Aurora.

"You care about her." It wasn't a question.

 

"I do."

 

Azure frowned.

"How did she manage that? You seem like a sensible girl, and you're related to Blue - surely you wouldn't give your love to just anyone."

 

"When she's drunk... she's different. She's loveable and vulnerable and needs to be taken care of. I've lived in her servitude for years."

 

Ah. "I see," Azure said. She started walking again.

After a few steps, she said, "Blue has told me things. Nothing too personal, just a few things here and there. We always suspected she secretly liked women, but she never liked it when we brought it up, even then. It's a shame."

 

"Has she... been with others? She never disclosed it to me. Ever."

 

"Men," Azure said, "long ago. None of them meant anything. She was very close to another female friend, even longer ago, but I don't think anything ever happened between them. Other than that, I really don't know. We used to be closer, but now this is the only day in the year we really see each other."

 

"Do you like her?"

 

Azure frowned, but kept walking. "An odd question. Do you?"

 

"I'm always going to, I think. That's the problem."

 

"If she ever comes back to you, she will be a very lucky woman indeed."

 

Aurora laughed. "You flatter me. I'm not that great."

 

Azure smiled, closed her eyes. "You're young, Aurora. You can probably do better than a middle-aged closeted lesbian who projects her internalised homophobia everywhere."

 

"Yeah. I know. And yet I'm here. Must be Stockholm syndrome."

 

"Maybe. Maybe not. Do you want to know how to handle her properly? Just in case she actually comes back?"

 

"Does anyone know, really?"

 

"Well, as a matter of fact, I do," Azure said, mildly offended that Aurora would have so little faith in her. "The question is if I should share that knowledge with you."

 

"That's up to you. I'd like to hear it."

 

Azure smiled and straightened up a little, leaning on her cane.

"Dominate her," she said. "Make sure she knows you're not going to play by her rules. If she wants to be with you, it has to be on your terms, and you can't settle for anything less."

 

Aurora went silent and then tentatively spoke. "I suppose with nothing to lose... I could try."

 

"You could probably pull it off, too," Azure said. "Is this the room? If you've got a moment, you could help me."

 

"Just one down. Yes, I can help!"

 

"Good. Just don't let me take advantage of you too much," she said and winked. "Or anyone, for that matter."

 

"I just want to be helpful."

 

"I know, Aurora. I know."

Azure let herself into the classroom and had a look around. "Hmm, it's going to be cramped," she said, frowning. "I always have a lot of students coming to my workshops."

 

"Marigold should really give you a bigger room... I could ask her to relocate."

 

"You could," Azure agreed. "It'd be helpful. The sooner the better, so I can send Blue up with the heavy boxes."

 

"I could text her now." Aurora pulled out her phone and then remembered she no longer had Marigold's number, nor was she ready to share hers quite yet. "Shit."

 

Azure caught on. "I have her number, if you need it."

 

"Can I use your phone? Unless you'd feel up to messaging her."

 

"I can do it, if you don't want to," Azure said, pulling out her old mobile and composing a quick text.

_'Do you happen to have any bigger rooms for me? You know my workshops are always popular. A x'_

 

Aurora watched her. "I'm glad you can. Thank you."

 

Azure nodded. "It's no problem."

Her phone buzzed.

_'Room G14 should be free.’_

And then, a moment later:

_'Have you seen Aurora, by any chance?'_

Azure frowned at her phone. "She's looking for you," she informed Aurora. "What should I tell her?"

 

Aurora froze. "You, um, haven't seen me since I left to talk to her." Aurora could feel her breathing turn abnormal. Too quick. "I'm going to try and avoid her temper today. Too risky. Too many people around."

 

"Understood." Azure typed a quick message to Marigold.

_'I haven't seen her. Why do you need her?'_

"Honestly," she then said, "she's not been this obsessed with anyone since- well. In a long time."

And back then, it had been requited. Claire had been just as smitten with Marigold, if not more.

Azure's heart ached at the thought.

 

 

"It's painful." Aurora admitted. "Before I came to my senses, I really was in love with her. I was addicted to her intoxicated side and just... hoped that one day, she could find it without drinking."

 

"Hmm."

Azure decided not to comment.

Her phone buzzed again.

_'She said she'd join you again. I'm just making sure she's doing her job.’_

Azure rolled her eyes. Didn't dignify that with a response. "Well, you may rest assured that Blue and I will show her just how happy a person her age can be with a person your age. Just as a little demonstration."

 

Aurora blinked in surprise. "You... really think you can?"

 

Azure chuckled. "Marigold has known of my sexuality since we were in our twenties. If there is one person who can be really, really gay in her presence without repercussions, it's me."

 

Aurora was quiet for a moment before looking at Azure with an odd determination.

"Do your worst."

 

"Oh, I intend to." Azure gave the tiniest of smiles. "Speaking of, it's probably high time we got back to Blue."

 

"Indeed." Aurora even sounded relieved. "We should let her know we changed rooms."

 

 


	57. Act V - Chapter XXII: Playing Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 4 of our EtV-bomb... four more to go!
> 
> Enjoying it? Please leave a comment if you can, it means so much!!
> 
> No warnings for this chapter!

 

Rose Quartz was already having a stressful day, and the fair hadn't even officially started yet.

It would in about half an hour, though; and the school was ready to open its doors to the students who would come, not only from their school.

Rose nervously stood by the doors to greet the arriving students and direct them to the main hall, where the stalls had mostly been set up by now. She was fairly sure that she could convince people that she was confident and at ease; she put on a casual smile and ignored her fluttering heart.

 

It was the presence of Rose directly outside that made Pearl want to immediately sprint home. But she'd missed out too much, her parents had actually noticed her arrive home earlier. Besides, careers fair was actually a fun day from her recollection. She hoped to see Amy, too. And to find out what exactly she'd done.

She tentatively approached the school opening, not looking at Rose as she came closer.

 

The arrival of Pearl nearly managed to break through Rose's already fragile composure.

She stood her ground.

"Pearl," she said, her voice trembling. This was a public forum; it wasn't very crowded yet, but people were watching her. Now was not the time to try and reconcile with Pearl.

She handed her a booklet. "You know where the fair is," she said. Her voice fragile, her cheeks pale. "I... hope you have a good time."

 

Pearl took it as if it contained a strain of the bubonic plague. Wordlessly, she made it past Rose. Hating the colour in her cheeks and the beating in her heart.

She was still in love. She hated it.

 

 

As was Rose. It took her longer than she would ever admit to regain her composure after just seeing Pearl for a few seconds.

She _needed_ to talk to her. She needed to make things right.

She _loved_ Pearl. More than she'd loved Kai.

After the fair, she promised herself.

 

Pearl looked about the room. She felt her heart descend from cloud nine on anxiety down to the ground as she realised Amethyst wasn't there. Therefore, no one she really knew.

But Blue, standing at her stall. She groaned, making her way to a table advertising student electronics insurance in a desperate attempt to avoid her.

 

To no avail. Blue had spotted her.

"Hey, Pearlie!" she called across the room. "Hey!"

 

Pearl felt herself tense. They were in public. Surely she'd be safe. She remembered her promise of examining Blue's room. After school she would. "Hey... Blue. How's it going?"

 

"There you are!" Blue grinned at her. "You're always so tense! Don't you wanna come give your big sister a hug?"

 

"Not particularly." The tobacco incident still reached the deepest recesses of anger.

 

Blue frowned. "Weirdo," she said. "So I heard you've been to hospital, huh? How'd that go for you?"

She didn't bother to keep her voice down.

 

"It's not your business."

 

"Aw, so cold, Pearlie," Blue said with a pout. "It's almost like you don't love me. C'mon, I'm not that bad, am I?"

 

"You're a fucking psycho, that's what you are. Snitching on my mum. What do you even want?"

 

Blue's smile fell.

"Gee, I'm _sorry_ for not realising you'd been lying to her," she snapped. "And don't fucking call me that. Is it a crime to want to exchange a few friendly words with my sister these days?"

 

"It is when you've spent most of your time making me feel like shit. What's your deal?"

 

"You _know_ what my deal is," Blue said coldly. "Please forgive me for trying to be nice. But you've always been good at making yourself the victim, haven't you, Pearlie?"

 

"It's not hard when you actually are one."

 

"See what I mean? You _always_ try so hard to blame anyone but yourself." Blue scoffed and opened her mouth to say something else, but luckily for Pearl, in that moment, Aurora and Azure returned to the stall.

 

 

Aurora spotted Pearl and turned to Azure, muttering something to her. Pearl clenched her fist. "Come and say it to my face, you bitch."

 

Azure nodded at Aurora, made eye contact with Blue, then came over.

Gave Pearl a look. "I assume you are Blue's other sister," she said, "the resemblance is striking. Well, Blue, aren't you going to introduce us?"

 

Pearl stepped back as Azure came closer. She felt taken aback - the same feeling of inadequacy she felt creeping when the Principal was around returned, but she found herself at more ease. "Who are you?"

 

"Blue's partner. Azure Almas," she introduced herself, holding out a hand for Pearl. "I assume you've heard of me?"

Next to her, Blue blushed - mostly because she realised she had, indeed, never told Pearl about Azure.

 

Pearl looked at Blue and then at Azure. "No. I haven't. Pleased to meet you... wait, weren't you here last year, too? I don't believe I ever properly came over, was far too busy with the dancing schools."

 

Azure smiled pleasantly. "Indeed," she said, "I've been coming here for years. Oh - Aurora? Could you be a dear and carry my equipment to the room I've been assigned?" She pointed to a still-packed box next to her. "If it's too heavy, Blue can help you."

 

Aurora nodded and tried to pull at the box. "Oh. That is a lot heavier than expected."

 

Blue gave Azure a look. This was calculated, she was sure.

Oh well; she'd learned long ago that there was no point in arguing. "Okay," she said and went over to help Aurora. "You'll be okay here, right, Azure?"

"Absolutely," Azure said and leaned in to give Blue a quick kiss. "Meet me back here when everything is set up."

 

Pearl watched with envy. Aurora just looked kind of sad from what she could tell. They met eyes for a brief second.

They both shared a look of understanding. They both wanted that. To be queer and happy and visible.

Both looked away almost immediately after.

 

"You coming, Rori?" Blue said impatiently. "I don't have forever, you know."

Azure watched them go. "She's so impatient sometimes," she said, fondness and slight disapproval colouring her voice. "Have you found that, Pearl? It is Pearl, right?"

 

Oh, a critic of Blue. Pearl could feel her psyche already attaching itself to a yet another hot older woman. "It is! And yes. She was quite the bully, too. It's hard to be nice."

 

"Hm. She barely ever speaks of you with much fondness, regrettably. I love Blue, I really do, and there aren't many things I've found consistently bothersome about her." She gave Pearl a look. "But the way she treats her family bar Aurora is definitely one. So, you're in your final year of school, aren't you? Interested in video games at all?"

 

"Not much outside of play. But Blue had some of your stuff around for Christmas when I was younger."

 

Azure looked at Pearl, almost scrutinising her. "You used to be a dancer," she said, "until you had that accident. Blue's told me that much. I am actually quite glad to see you are doing okay - I know what it's like to have your potential career destroyed by physical ailments." She gestured to her cane.

 

"Oh. Oh, my, I didn't even... notice." Pearl tried to find the right words to say.

 

"Don't worry about it." Azure scanned the room quickly, then sat down. "Pull up a chair, if you like," she said, "it'll be a while until the masses come flooding in. I used to be an athlete, you know."

 

"How'd you end up here?"

 

"I hurt my ankle. It wasn't bad, and if it had just been that, I probably could have been a runner regardless. But that was around the same time my arthritis started to come out," Azure said. "I was stupid. Trained on my busted joints and that made it worse. I had to stop by the time I was nineteen because I was in too much pain to move." She sighed. "I spent about a year not being able to leave the house much, and got into coding. Those were the very early days of computers, and I got really good at it. So that's what I started doing."

 

Pearl could feel herself relate. Having to push away and find new interests. She’d found... she’d found Rose. And Amy. "I'm sorry to hear it but... I guess everyone tells you they're sorry. It's more than amazing that you made it, though. You must be very good at what you do, right?"

 

Azure smirked. "Well, how else do you think I could have built an empire worth millions? As a disabled Muslim woman, no less? I'm _extremely_ good. As is your sister, by the way, she's almost as good as me."

 

Pearl couldn't even bring herself to scowl. "I'm glad there's at least someone successful between us three, then."

 

"Oh, don't say that. You're what, eighteen? Nineteen? I was a complete wreck at that age. What are your plans after graduating school?"

 

"Biology, I guess. Though I've been looking at other uni courses, too. Picked up an interesting one I might apply for."

 

"Well, if you're not sure, then you're definitely in the right place," Azure said. "I'm running a few workshops later, if you're interested - but even if you're not, there's plenty of other people around."

The hall was starting to fill up with people.

In the doors, a tall silhouette became visible.

"Oh, look who it is," Azure said cheerfully.

Marigold made her way to Azure's table without hesitation.

She fixated Pearl with a mild scowl, then turned to Azure. "You're all set up, yeah?"

 

Pearl looked away, scared. Before pulling up some courage. "Hi, Principal!"

 

Marigold shot her a look. "Pearl," she said icily.

Azure gave Marigold an innocent smile. "All is good," she said. "Blue is setting up my room for the workshop - she will be back soon."

"And Aurora?" Marigold asked, a hungry look in her eyes.

"Haven't seen her." The lie came smoothly.

 

Pearl looked at Azure and opened her mouth before catching Azure's expression. Huh. So they were covering for her.

 

"Hm." Marigold narrowed her eyes. "Do you know where she is, Pearl?"

 

"Not... a clue. Is she even in today?"

 

Marigold scowled. "She is, and she has a job to do," she said coldly. "I'll... keep looking. Impressed it's running this smoothly so far, it seems I've underestimated Miss Quartz. But we have all day for things to go wrong. Good day."

 

Pearl glared at her as she walked before sighing. "I got close to her recently. A regret."

 

"Oh?" This was a story Azure hadn't heard before. But she wasn't particularly surprised.

 

"It was short lived and kind of just. Weird. Mostly did it to hurt Aurora. Speaking of," Pearl looked in the direction her sister had gone. "Why are we covering her?"

 

Azure raised her eyebrows. "Oh, so you don't know the whole story," she said, mildly surprised. "It's not really mine to spread around - ask her about it if you want details. But they're not on very good terms at the moment, through no fault of Aurora's. It's in your sister's best interest to keep her away from Marigold for now."

 

"Seems like I never do. Okay, though. I'm aware of how shitty that Principal can be. I'll cover, too."

 

"She has a lot to learn," Azure said, a little sadly. "Thank you. I'm sure Aurora will appreciate it."

 

"Whatever. So. How long are you staying in this dump of a school?"

 

"You mean today? As long as I need to," Azure said. "It's not a bad school. Marigold, for all her failings, does take care of it. And this fair is the only one of its kind in the area. She set it up, you know, years ago, to give her students the best possible prospects. She's very protective of her girls, even if she's a little misguided."

 

"Is that why she kills them? If they're LGBT?"

 

"Kills them?" Azure looked at Pearl. "I don't know what you mean."

 

"...Never mind. It's not a nice thing to think about."

 

"No, please," Azure said pleasantly, "do tell. This is the first I've heard about it."

 

"Rumor has it," Pearl leant on her arms, voice smooth. "She bullied a trans boy to his death."

 

"Oh, that. Well, she denies she did, and nothing's ever been proven, so I think it's a little harsh to say she killed anyone, wouldn't you think?"

 

"I suppose. But I feel I have some reason to believe it. She's scary when you're vulnerable or upset in front of her."

 

"Indeed." Azure's face remained impassive. No need to let Pearl know that actually, Azure had experience with that. "Still, her alleged transphobia hasn't been proven. She wouldn't still be Principal if it had."

 

"Oh, I'm sure that there's a lot of evidence to misconduct in this school."

 

"Then show me," Azure challenged, her tone gentle.

 

"She gets uppity if me and my friend just happen to be holding hands. I don't know about you, though. Do you wanna see how she reacts to just gals being pals?"

 

"It's her school," Azure said. "Her rules. She could have dozens of reasons for not wanting girls to be holding hands."

 

"She's gotten my friends expelled without any reason to." Pearl felt herself tense.

 

"She can't expel people without a reason," Azure said matter-of-factly. "Listen, I'm not trying to say she's not homophobic. She is. But you can't prove it, or she wouldn't still be Principal. So if you want to fight her, you need to step up your game."

 

"How do you suggest I do that?"

 

Azure raised her eyebrows.

"Are you really expecting me to tell you my old friend's weaknesses so you can exploit them against her?" she said. "Please, I am not that disloyal."

 

"Was worth a try." Pearl shrugged.

 

"Hm. Indeed. Don't test me, Pearl. If I want to tell you something, I will."

 

"Should I leave you?" Pearl sensed annoyance... although she couldn't quite tell from that aged, icy glare.

 

"Do as you wish, it makes little difference to me." This girl was different from Blue. Hyperempathy where Blue had almost none. Azure's impenetrable mask was still intact.

 

Pearl tried to desperately seek for any form of emotion in that voice. She felt lost, at sea. Trying to grip onto something to comment on or appease.

She admitted defeat. Azure had played her poker face well enough.

"Take care of Blue." She waved a hand. "If you can."

 

"Oh, I can. Better than most, probably." Finally: A hint of a smile. "Go have a look around. Find something that sets your mind on fire. Not... literally, obviously." She looked at Pearl, mostly to reassure her that she wasn't actually mad at her. "Find something you like, rather than something that the people you like do. People are great, but they won't be around forever. The only one you can always count on to be around is yourself."

 

Pearl gave a grateful smile, finally off the grill. Although... she felt as if she'd exposed her hands to fire by challenging Azure. Burnt and bitter. But somehow... allured and impressed.

She found that she had quite enjoyed their little game.

"I'll take note. See ya."

 

 


	58. Act V - Chapter XXIII: Avoiding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we've been thinking for a while, and just because Wednesdays can be quite bad for both of us, we're probably going to move our publishing day to Saturday. That'll be nice, won't it? It'll be the weekend, more than enough time for us to get everything sorted, and you can all stay up to read the new chapter cus it'll be Sunday the next day! :D It's perfect really.
> 
> This also means that this bomb will finish on Tuesday, with the next chapter going up on Saturday (the 10th).
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> No warnings for this chapter :)

 

 

The careers fair had begun, and Marigold Diamond finally found it in her to leave her office.

She went through the main hall.

Aurora wasn't there.

It was difficult to pinpoint why, exactly, she wanted Aurora. Something inside her _longed_ for her. Longed to see her face, touch her -

She tore her thoughts away from that. She had _reasons_ for wanting Aurora. Aurora had a job to do, and as far as Marigold could tell, she wasn't doing it.

Except she probably very much was, given that the only information she'd gotten was that Aurora was helping Azure set up.

It infuriated Marigold. She wanted Aurora _back_ , her sweet diligent Aurora, her wonderful secretary who tended to her every whim.

Who didn't tell her to avoid her.

Maybe Marigold should stop looking for her.

She sighed and stepped outside. The air was cool on her face. Several students were coming towards the door. All of them carefully avoided Marigold's eyes.

It infuriated her. "You know, back in my day, we said good morning to our teachers when we saw them," she snapped as a group of teenage girls walked past.

"Morning," one of them mumbled in response.

Marigold was seething.

She glanced over to the car park. There was a mini she hadn't seen before.

Aurora's new car.

Curious, Marigold stepped closer. The windows were slightly tinted, and it looked like it was... messy inside.

Marigold had never known Aurora to be messy.

And then she realised that there was somebody in there. A girl. One that Marigold had seen with Pearl before.

Was this - was this Aurora's new flatmate? Her... girlfriend?

Marigold's heart hammered. She couldn't bring herself to do anything.

 

Amethyst had, by all accounts, aspirations to rise early. Never did they account to much. Not today, anyway. She was curled under a nest of sweaters and serval wrappers. Heavily asleep, she snored.

 

Marigold frowned.

Considered, for a long moment, just leaving. Not bothering. Maybe just leaving things alone altogether.

She couldn't.

Impatiently, she knocked on the window.

 

Amethyst shifted. She didn't wake up. The door, however, pushed out a little against the force of the knock. Unlocked.

 

_Oh._

Really, she should be backing off. But this was her school. The one place she had power.

And there was nothing objectively wrong with any of this. Well, Marigold could probably make up something. She opened the door and loudly cleared her throat.

"Excuse me."

 

Amy shot awake. "No, don't!" Her eyesight was bleary. She rubbed her eyes. And then focused on the Principal.

Amethyst screamed.

 

Marigold frowned.

"I didn't think I was _that_ terrifying," she said coldly.

 

"Yes you are! Geeze!" Amy tried to catch her breath before falling to a fit of giggles. "Yo Principal. Whaddup?"

 

"Don't laugh at me. Show some respect." Diamond didn't smile. "Your car is parked in the area that's meant for visitors. This is Aurora's car, yeah? She's staff, she has to park over there." She gestured. "You wouldn't happen to know where she is?"

 

Amethyst only now seemed to be aware that she was awake. "Fuck if I know, man. She probably went in somewhere."

 

"Well, she needs to move her car," Marigold said impatiently. "Tidy yourself up, will you?"

 

"You didn't see her when she came in?" Amethyst wiped her mouth on her sleeve and removed a ketchup packet from her hood.

 

"I did, but I didn't know she'd parked her car wrongly," Marigold snapped. "What are you doing in her car anyway?"

 

"She made me wake up early so I slept in her car. She drives me to school on her early mornings. I usually sleep here."

 

"Cars aren't beds," Marigold said. "If you're here for the fair, you should probably go, seeing as it has already started."

 

"Whoops. What a shame indeed. I guess I'll go and look." Amy scratched herself and closed the door. Tie undone and shirt untucked.

 

"And tidy yourself up, for God's sakes," Marigold hissed. "You're representing our school. There are people here from all over the country. You need to make a good impression."

 

"Who cares? None of them going to hire someone like me," Amy mumbled as she did her tie in a fat knot.

 

"Not with that attitude," Marigold said. She turned and walked back towards the school without sparing Amethyst another look.

 

Amethyst frowned. "Yo, aren't you supposed to empower us, Maricunt? Why did you feel the need to drag me like that?"

 

Marigold stopped.

Turned.

" _What_ did you call me?" she demanded.

 

Amethyst gave a cheeky grin, hopping off and walking in the direction of the hall. "Did I stutter, Principal?" She then nodded. "Didn't think so." And sprinted out of sight, straight into the crowds at the hall before the Principal could utter another word.

 

 

Marigold could only watch as Amethyst ran away.

Well... that girl had just ensured that she would never get hired by anyone Marigold had connections to.

_She should know better. I can mess up her entire future._

It tasted bitter.

Slowly, Marigold made her way back towards the entrance.

 

 

Pearl, in the meantime, had taken Azure's words and let them bloom in conversations with the visitors. She'd taken to trying to ignore the looming presence of Rose. And instead, found a sheepish Amethyst in the crowd. "Amy!"

 

Shit. Pearl. Amy had hoped to avoid her before seeing Aurora.

She froze, unable to see a way out of this. It was starting to be too crowded to run away.

 

"Do you... not want to talk to me?" Pearl’s hyperempathy rushed to every thought. Filling every cavity.

 

Amy grit her teeth, then looked up to face Pearl.

"No."

 

"I'm sorry. I really am. I made it out to be about myself and... I was dumb. Here, I'll leave you alone." The crowd was getting louder. Pearl felt close to tears. "I'm sorry. I'll be around if you need me."

 

"Whatever." Amethyst turned away. "I don't care."

 

Pearl's composure was cut in two. Her face wet with tears as she tried to hide herself and ran into the crowd. Passing Aurora.

 

Aurora noticed her. Noticed she was crying. "Pearl!"

 

 

Pearl turned on her heel, trying to still hold her makeup with the power of sheer desperation. "What do you want?

 

Aurora frowned, concerned. "What's wrong?" she said softly, stepping a little closer.

 

"Amy, she... she..." Pearl found it suddenly all too difficult to breathe. "Need to go. Too many people here."

 

Aurora knew better than to reach out and touch Pearl. "Do you want me to come with you?" she asked anyway. Wanting nothing more than to be there for her sister again.

 

"I- I need to get to the bathroom."

 

"It's not far," Aurora said, although she was fairly sure Pearl knew that. "Here, I'll come with you." She held out her arm. An invitation.

 

Pearl looked at her for a moment and paused.

She took it.

 

Aurora breathed a silent sight of relief and led Pearl to the bathroom. It was empty, miraculously. The door fell shut behind them, muffling the sounds from outside.

 

Pearl had followed wordlessly. No usual quips or snark. Vulnerable and small. She shook like a five year old with a grazed knee.

 

"Oh, Pearl." Aurora was still holding her arm. Gently, hesitantly, she pulled Pearl closer. Offered a hug.

 

Pearl took it, finally breaking down in Aurora's arms. Something about this felt all too familiar.

 

 

Aurora simply held her. Gently stroked her hair. Clenched her teeth.

All of a sudden, it felt like Pearl was a little girl again, and Aurora a teenager, looking after her baby sister.

"You don't have to tell me what happened, if you don't want to," she said softly.

 

"I don't really. Amethyst is mad with me and she won't tell me why so I can't say the right thing to make her forgive me. I need her."

 

Oh. Well, Aurora could probably help with that, at least a little.

"She likes you." She sighed. "And she's really hurt by the way you talked about Rose the other day. She - she doesn't like being made to feel like she's irrelevant, you know."

 

"I didn't know. I didn't... I didn't consider... I'm so dumb. I can't hold any relationship at all. Everyone leaves me."

 

"She will forgive you," Aurora said. "Give it some time."

She was still holding Pearl. It felt nice, after so long.

Maybe, eventually, Pearl would forgive her too.

 

"I guess. I need her back soon. I don't have anyone else right now. I can't... not you. I can't spend time with you right now."

 

Aurora breathed a sigh, let go of Pearl.

"Okay," she said, "okay. I'll... I'll talk to her."

 

Pearl gave her a grateful nod. "Thank you."

 

Aurora frowned, still worried. "Are you... okay? Should I leave you be?"

 

"I'll tidy myself up and recover. I'll be safe. Don't worry."

 

Aurora nodded.

"Come find me if you need me," she said. "Okay?"

 

"Okay."

 

Aurora nodded, then left the bathroom.

Somehow, her heart felt a little lighter. There might be a chance of fixing things with Pearl.

But first: Amy. Aurora spied her at the other end of the hall and carefully made her way there.

 

The one positive of the careers fair for Amy was the abundance of candy supplied by the stalls. She nodded at Aurora, cheeks full.

 

"Made it in, huh?" Aurora smiled at her. "Having fun?"

 

"Caught by Principal. She wants you," Amethyst said inbetween chews.

 

Aurora went pale. " _Still?_ " she said. "What does she want? ... are you okay?"

 

"Just got spooked. Might head home once she's inside."

 

"You should have a look around," Aurora said. "Oh, hey! You can meet Blue! ... if you want, that is."

 

"Ahh, sure. I'll say hi to her. You avoiding Marigold, then?"

 

Aurora grimaced. "She's been trying to catch me all day. Thankfully, everyone's been covering for me. Even Pearl."

 

"Oh man, that's exciting. It's like we're all playing hide and seek. Or... the 'everyone hates Marigold' game. You should've seen her. Called her a cunt. Right to her face!"

 

"Oh boy." Aurora frowned. "You know she has... a lot of power, right? She could expel you."

 

"Guess what? I don't fucking care!"

 

Aurora groaned. "Well, maybe you _should_ ," she said. "You know she can ruin your entire life, right? I know you don't know what you want to do, but way to throw out your options, Amethyst!"

 

"Didn't have options anyway." Amy shrugged. "Don't care about this stuff."

 

"Now listen here," Aurora said sharply, "you _always_ have options. And I know you care about some things and that some of the stalls here might be really interesting to you. And I know if you become a bum who lives off benefits and never does anything productive, you'll hate yourself forever. You don't want that. _I_ don't want that."

 

"I'll figure it out. Geeze, stop nagging me. You're not my mom."

 

Aurora's shoulders slumped. "Sorry," she said, cheeks red. "It's just - I care about you. A lot. And - and this is kind of what I do." _It's why Pearl hates me._

 

"Whatever. I'm getting candy and going home."

 

"At least talk to _someone_ ," Aurora said. "Please."

 

"Will do." Amy turned and left, helping herself to an autorepair stall lollypop.

 

Aurora watched her and sighed. Turned, scanned the room for signs of Marigold in case she had to run again.

 

 


	59. Act V - Chapter XXIV: Finding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our new update schedule means that our bomb finishes tomorrow, with the last careers fair chapter. Publishing will resume on Saturday (the 10th) at 10pm UK time!
> 
> For now, enjoy! No warnings for this chapter :)

 

Pearl had found herself busy and quite tired by the end of her tour around the fair. She'd decided to head to the school library to catch a breath of fresh air conditioning. The summer was still on it's way but had seemingly sent a torrent of heat as warning.

 

It was a few hours into the fair, and Peridot had to take a break. The hall was too crowded, too noisy, and no amount of fidget toys were going to help her out in the long run.

Thankfully, Jasper was on the stall next to her, so she had some backup. When she'd excused herself, Jasper had reassured her.

So now Peridot was in the library, a place she wouldn't usually go to, but it seemed like the only place where she was safe from the noise for now.

She sat in one of the chairs by the computers. The equipment was antiquated. If she needed to, she was still able to use it, but for now, she just wanted to relax for a few minutes.

 

Pearl looked at the empty space. Empty, bar her physics teacher. She hoped Peridot wouldn't question her presence at the library.

 

 

Peridot looked up when she realised she wasn't alone.

"Having fun at the fair?" she asked Pearl.

 

"Had my fill, Miss." Pearl put her bag down. So far, so good.

 

"I know the feeling," Peridot said. "Unfortunately, I have to go back soon. You find anything interesting?"

 

"Yeah. A couple of people have me on Skype now so I should probably change my screen name."

 

"That's always a good idea," Peridot said. "You don't want to know my username when I was a teenager. Embarrassing. Have you seen my little stall? It's not very impressive in comparison to some of the other people there, but still."

 

"Passed by on my way out. The coach was manning it well."

 

"I could show you some things, if you'd like," Peridot offered. "You have an aptitude for physics. I never thought I'd say this, after all, you were a dancer before, but you'd do well in engineering."

 

"You think?" Pearl found herself settled down. Tired from the crying.

 

 

"Yeah, sure. You want to stay here for a bit? I'll probably head back, I've been gone for a while. You could come with."

 

"Guess I could. Your corner is a bit more quiet."

 

"A little," Peridot agreed. "Still loud enough to give me sensory overload. But I think I'll be okay. Shall we, then?" She held the door open for Pearl.

 

Pearl walked towards the room. "You get sensory overload too, huh?"

 

"All the time," Peridot said. "Why don't you go to crowded places, Peridot? It'll be loud! The neurotypicals enjoy it, so you will too! Indeed. Anyway." She grimaced as she heard the noises. "Let's do this."

 

Pearl almost felt tempted to hold her hand until she remembered she wasn't dating every teacher in the school.

Yet.

But instead she gave a comforting look. "It's lunch anyway. People will be going to the cafeteria."

 

"Good." Peridot squared her shoulders, straightened her back. Anything to appear a little taller than she was. She then marched towards her stall and relaxed a little upon seeing Jasper.

"I'm back," she informed her. "And I brought some company."

Jasper smiled warmly at Peridot and then saw Pearl. "Oh, hello, Pearl! How are you doing?"

 

"A bit overwhelmed, to be honest." She attempted to smile. Maybe these two hadn't seen her run off crying earlier.

 

"That's understandable," Jasper said.

"I'm going to show her some of my cool things!" Peridot said, getting excited. "Here -" She hopped behind the stall. "We got sweets and stuff, Amy took a bunch earlier. But more importantly -"

She grabbed several things from the table and the box of supplies behind her.

"Leaflets," she said, proudly presenting an array of physics and engineering leaflets from various universities to Pearl.

"Oh, and little games. They don't have a lot to do with what an engineering degree is like, but they're fun."

 

Pearl tried to absorb the information but the mere mention of Amy had made her uncomfortable. "Wow. Thanks...!"

 

Peridot looked up at her and frowned. "Are you okay?"

 

"Yeah! It's just, uh, loud."

 

"No it's not," Peridot said. Indeed, a lot of people had left for lunch. "You don't have to tell me what's up. But hey, look at this." A puzzle; a miniature bridge to be built out of small wooden bricks. The trick was to build it up from the sides and then put the keystone into the top last; it would make the entire building stable.

"It's more civil engineering oriented, but it's still a similar sort of thinking," Peridot explained.

 

Pearl nodded gratefully for the distraction. It was interesting, even. "Oh, this one is cool."

 

"Do you know how to do it? I could give you some hints."

 

"I think I can figure it out."

 

"Okay."

Peridot watched, her eyes narrowed. A little sceptical.

 

Pearl beamed. "Ha. Solved it!"

 

Peridot raised her eyebrows. "Impressive," she said. "Do you want to see another?"

 

"Of course!" Pearl smiled.

 

"Okay." Peridot reached behind her into a box. "In this one, you have to get the red block out of the square by moving the brown blocks. You can't rotate the brown blocks." Only two empty spaces remained; not much space to maneuver.

 

Pearl looked down in thought for a few seconds before snapping her fingers and exclaiming, "Aha! Got it."

 

Peridot turned, frowned suspiciously, then stared at Pearl. "I don't think I've seen anyone but myself do it that quickly before. Have you been tested for ASD? Anyway, here -" She dug out some more leaflets. "Your physics grades are pretty decent. You should apply."

 

Pearl merely shrugged. "Let's be real. With all the things I've got going on, if I was autistic I really wouldn't be surprised." She then took her hands away from the blocks. Proud. "Done!"

 

"Nice," Peridot said. "Can't say I have more, but I can link you to some really good brain teaser apps, if you're interested." She shot a look at the clock. "Looks like it's nearly time to wrap up anyway. I'll see you later, though, Pearl!"

 

Pearl looked a little upset, clearly having expected more. "Oh well. Yeah, I'd like that. Email if you've got the time? I'll see you later."

 

Jasper was watching the interaction from the sidelines and stepped closer when Pearl left. "You need help, Peri?" she asked.

 

"I'm okay! Just gotta pack up all the small things. She's a precocious one, isn't she?" Peridot nodded in Pearl's direction. "You doing okay? All good at home?"

 

"It's been okay," Jasper said. "Lapis is trying really hard. Keeping her head down. I think we actually got through to her, she's not pulled any of her regular shit since we talked to her."

 

"Oh, I'm so glad!" Peridot. "I'm happy. Do you think she's going to pay for what she's done to you?"

 

Jasper frowned. "Pay -? I'm not sure what you mean."

 

"You know. Her feeling the full consequences of her actions. Making it up to you. Make sure she knows just how much you affected her."

 

"Hm. Okay." Jasper was still frowning. She thought she knew what Peridot was talking about. "Might try that. But she's been good. Here, I'll help you."

 

"Wow, thanks!" She smiled and let Jasper pick up the case she'd used to carry her equipment in. "Need to take that to my mom's car. But you like my mom and she likes you, so no biggie."

 

"Cool! Let's go then, shall we?" Jasper smiled at her.

 

\--

 

Finally. Such a busy day over. The rest of the years would be attending the other events in the week. Pearl found herself alone. Eyes sore from crying as she stood at the corner of her school courtyard and lit a cigarette.

 

Blue stepped out from the table for a little while too. She was tired from interacting with people all day; it was exhausting, especially without Azure by her side.

She decided to step outside for a bit. She wasn't surprised to see Pearl there.

"Smoking again, huh," she said.

 

"You're one to comment, you stoner." Pearl exhaled in Blue's direction. "What do you want?"

 

"Just steppin' outside here for a bit. Gee, you don't have to hate me for existing."

 

"I think I have enough reason to." Pearl’s tone was deadly, before her face relaxed. "Want a drag?"

 

"Nah, thanks. I don't fuck with that shit." She pulled out a vape, deep blue and larger than her hand. "Azure gave this to me," she said. "Cool, isn't it?"

 

"Ughh. Everyone knows only douche bags vape." Pearl rolled her eyes and then blinked. "What flavour?"

 

"Blueberry," Blue said without missing a beat. "You want some?"

 

"Um. Nah." Pearl looked at it with envy. It looked fancy, too.

 

Blue took a drag, vanishing behind a cloud of thick white fog for a few seconds.

"So," she then said. "You're still not done hurting Rori, huh."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

Blue raised her eyebrows at Pearl.

"You must be joking."

 

"We had a moment today, geeze. I still hate her for what she did she she's free to hate me for fucking up her face."

 

"Oh, yeah, and completely rejecting all of her help and then getting the Principal on her ass after she literally saved your worthless life. C'mon, she loves your disabled ass. Least you could do is show her some gratitude."

 

Pearl stepped forward. "Don't call me disabled."

 

"Oh, please. Takes one to know one. It's not really like you can hide from me."

 

"You have no idea what I've been through. Leave me alone."

 

Blue's eyes narrowed.

"Well, have you ever considered in your tiny brain that you don't know shit about me either?" she snapped. "And I know more about you than you think."

 

"Only because Aurora can't shut her fat gob."

 

"Sounds like nothing I've ever said to you has actually gotten through your thick skull. Oh well, whatever. At least apologise to her at some point."

 

Pearl gave a nasty look before sighing. "I'm getting there."

 

"You're acting like it's the hardes thing in the world," Blue said. "It's just those two words, you know. 'I'm sorry.' Works wonders."

 

"Why don't you prove it. I feel you've got plenty to apologise for."

 

Blue looked her dead in the eye.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice exaggeratedly flat.

 

"That's bullshit and you know it." Pearl laughed, coughing smoke awkwardly. "Just leave me alone."

 

"You asked me to prove it, I proved it," Blue said, rolling her eyes. "What more do you even _want_."

 

"For you to finally get some feelings into that brick cold heart. Geeze. Why are you like this? Are you literally emotionally re-..." She paused and then sighed. "Whatever. I just long concluded you're a lost cause."

 

Blue swallowed. All humour gone from her face, she fixated Pearl coldly.

"You could say that," she said bitterly. "But hey, it's not like you _care_."

 

"You say that like it's a bad thing. I honestly don't."

 

Blue decided not to grace that with an answer. She took another puff from the vape, hiding herself in smoke.

 

"Edgy." Pearl rolled her eyes and stubbed out her cigarette before patting away dust. "See ya."

 

Blue just gave a non-committal grunt. Waited for Pearl to leave, then spat on the ground.

Well, at least she didn't _have_ to deal with her.

 

 

 

 


	60. Act V - Chapter XXV: Suspended

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of our bomb! We hope you enjoyed!
> 
> We will resume publishing this Saturday (the 10th) with our first post-careers fair chapter! 
> 
> No warnings for this chapter :)

 

The day was finally over. The fair was over, things were being tidied up.

For the first time in weeks, Rose Quartz allowed herself to relax. Breathe. Worry about other things.

The one thing that immediately came to mind was Pearl.

She'd... broken up with Rose. Refused to talk to Rose. It was worrying, upsetting. Rose doubted herself. Wondered if she was bad for Pearl.

She sighed. Now that the fair was over, she would be able to try and fix things with Pearl.

As she got to the staff room to pick up her things, something caught her eye.

A note in her pidgeonhole. She frowned and went over there.

_See me after the fair. -Principal Diamond_

Rose froze. Cold chills running down her spine.

What did Diamond want?

Reluctantly, she put down her things and made her way to the Principal's office, knocking. Her heart was beating frantically.

 

This was it. The moment Marigold had been waiting for since her suspicions had aroused in autumn. She'd waited. Meticulously let things manipulate and shift in her favour. And the evidence had walked her pretty head in and given herself up willingly.

Oh, it was delicious.

Marigold curled her fists at the knock. She knew Rose would argue. She couldn't wait for the excuses. She'd prepared an answer for everything.

"Come in!" She made her voice sickly pleasant.

 

That voice made hairs stand up at the back of her neck. Rose clenched her teeth.

She stepped in, swallowed, straightened up.

"The fair went well," she said, forcefully casual. "I hope it was to your satisfaction."

 

"Yes, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But unfortunately we must close your accolades now." Marigold gestured to the chair and patted paperwork. "Close the door. Sit, please."

 

Rose turned. Hoped Diamond couldn't see the blood draining from her face. She closed the door and sat.

"You... wanted to see me," she said.

 

"Yes. I would have followed typical procedure to disciplinary action in sending you a letter, however, the nature of this incident means that I am allowed to summon you for this." Diamond prodded at a few leaves of legal documents she'd printed out in case of protest. "Yes, Quartz. Everything I'm about to commit is in both students best interest and legally sound."

She pulled out a tape recorder and pressed a button. "A record. For both of us, in case you wish to pursue legal affairs with me. I don't think you will."

 

Shit. Shit, this was _serious_. Rose had no idea what Diamond knew. But this was bad.

"What's this about, Principal?" she said, her voice trembling.

 

Diamond shuffled papers. She ignored Rose and began to dictate to the recorder. "This is Principal Marigold Grace Diamond. Date, March third. Employee in question, Rose Quartz. Subject, improper conduct with students, lack of adherence to the staff code of conduct and being a danger to students in the work place."

 

If Rose hadn't already been sitting down, she would have surely needed to sit down at this point.

_Pearl. She must have ratted me out. There's no way Diamond would know anything for sure otherwise._

God, she...

Her hands felt clammy where they gripped the armrests of the chair. Rose clenched her teeth.

 

Diamond watched her display. She gave a polite smile. The only time she'd done so in months. "A student has brought a first hand account of being in a relationship with you. I have more than enough to take this into serious consideration, now, especially following our previous dealings."

 

Rose's throat tightened.

So Pearl _had_ gone to Diamond. Was she -? Were they -?

Rose did not allow herself to think that way. She swallowed. "I'm afraid you'll have to elaborate."

 

"I'm afraid that I am under policy to not disclose their identity. You can confront their legal representative, should you take this to court. But you must remember. I've seen you acting inappropriately with students in public. And I've seen a substantial drop in professionalism and a rather unpleasant turn to difficult behaviour." She had talked back. Unacceptable.

 

Rose's lips shut. There was no point arguing.

She slightly inclined her head. Best to just take it.

 

"Now, firing you is a process nowadays that takes paperwork and time and me having to write a report to the school board. This will be sent to them as well." She indicated to the device. "In the meantime, I'll put you under suspension until the exam season is over after spring break. I'll then be prepared to carry on further proceedings and hearings. You will have a chance to appeal at these."

 

Now, Rose's cheeks were red. She clenched her teeth, held back tears. _Not in front of... her._

Fear gave way to anger. She looked up.

"Do you have evidence?" she said.

Oh, she'd been to court before.

 

"I have a witness. Her. She testified against you. It is my duty as Principal to protect my students. That's kind of at the top of our policy, you know, the one that you signed agreement to upon employment?"

 

"She could have been lying. If her word is all you have, you have nothing."

 

"I am also your boss. I have the authority to put you under suspension right now. You can feel free to take this matter to court."

 

Rose held her eyes.

"Do as you want," she said coldly, "but this isn't over. You can't just walk all over me, Principal, just because one student told you tales."

 

"Tell it to the judge," Diamond said, after turning the tape off. "I take it that there's no point asking you whether or not you admit to it?"

 

"I admit _nothing_ ," Rose said. "I did nothing wrong."

Guilt dug deep into her gut. But so did anger. At Pearl, at Diamond, at herself.

 

"Alright. I'll be sure to include that in the report. You'll be hearing from the board at some point in the holiday I assume, but for now I'd like you to pack up your belongings and leave premises. Your key card for the building, please." Diamond opened her hand expectantly.

 

"It's in the staff room." Rose wasn't going to give up that easily. "I'm not quite finished clearing up the fair yet. The one you asked me to organise, if I remember correctly."

 

"Go retrieve it now. I'll take care of the rest of the fair and lead the final word on it. Don't worry, I'll be sure to say many thanks to everyone."

 

Rose couldn't argue with that. She silently got up and turned to leave.

 

"Have a good Easter!" Marigold beamed as she watched Rose go.

 

"I'll put the card in your pidgeonhole."

It was a good call; by the time Rose reached the staff room, she was clinging to the last shreds of her composure.

She stepped outside after she got her things and pulled out her phone.

_Pearl._

She didn't care if Pearl was going to answer.

 

And Pearl, after approximately a millisecond of deliberation before the familiar jingle of 'fuck this shit I'm out' began to tune in her head, didn't answer the call.

 

And honestly, Rose hadn't expected her to.

She sighed and then took a deep breath. If she had to leave a voicemail, then so be it.

_'The person you've called is not available right now. Please leave a message.'_

"Pearl," she said, her voice slightly shaky. "Pearl, we need to talk. I - I just... talked to Diamond. I'm sure you can imagine how that went, since you're the one who told her about us in the first place, aren't you?"

She tried not to let her anger bleed into her voice, but failed.

"I don't know what drove you to do that, Pearl. But whatever it was, you got what you wanted. I'm suspended, Pearl, I'll probably lose my job. I -"

She swallowed.

"I hope you're happy."

And with that, she hung up.

 

 

 

 


	61. Act V - Chapter XXVI: Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all and welcome back after our bomb!
> 
> This chapter is the first one after the careers fair and it is _heavy_. We're not sure this chapter still aligns with the Teens and up rating we have (but it's far too plot relevant to put into an insert), so if you feel like you won't be comfortable reading it, there's a summary at the end of the chapter.
> 
> Content warnings: BDSM foreplay, sexual themes, violence.

 

As the holidays began, Lapis' cuts had stared to heal and her relationship had hit a pleasant lull. The honeymoon was always so very sweet, she and Jasper had gone out on dates and even brought Peridot along. The sex had been good, as had Jasper's attitude.

But Lapis. Wasn't... happy.

It wasn't Jasper this time. She hadn't brought it up at counseling. Counseling was something she attended for becoming less abusive in her mind and only that. Less gross. Less bad. And it worked, she'd learnt to enforce boundaries and to cool down quicker.

But... it didn't help the feeling inside of her that gnawed at her insides. Regret. She'd hurt Jasper and never been truly punished.

Her father would've punished her.

And thus, on the Monday that began the break, after a pleasant dinner, Lapis had worn a pretty blue number that showed just enough of her ass to drive Jasper wild. "Enjoyed the curry, then?" She pressed a kiss against Jasper's cheek as she picked up the dishes.

 

 

Lapis's efforts had not gone unnoticed.

Jasper was ever more appreciative of how hard Lapis tried of keeping her boundaries. Living with her felt good again.

Though... something was off, and she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

She did enjoy Lapis's outfit, though.

"Yes, it was lovely," she said. "Thank you." She reached to pat Lapis's ass lightly as Lapis tidied up. "Need any help with that?"

 

Lapis giggled, pulling some water to rinse the plates while ever so carefully pressing her behind back into Jasper's front. "I can handle this if you could... handle me later."

 

 

Jasper leaned in to kiss Lapis's neck. "Oh, so you _do_ have an agenda," she said, amused. "I was wondering what was going on, you don't wear this dress a lot usually. A shame, it makes your butt look great."

 

"Tsch. I wore it because I know you like it and because I like wearing it in special occasions," Lapis said, amused. Finishing off the cutlery. "No hidden agenda. I swear. I'm not doing that anymore. But I also do like it when you take me in your arms and carry me to the bedroom, and after an evening of you gazing at my body with your... ferality; well, what can I say? I'm in the mood. "

 

Jasper smiled. Let her hands wander over Lapis's back before curling them around her from behind. "The one drawback of having Peri round a lot," she said. "We haven't done this properly in weeks."

Lapis was done with the dishes, so Jasper scooped her up. Held her slim body against hers and marvelled silently. Yes, this was one aspect that had gotten neglected a little.

Not anymore.

"Shall we, then?"

 

Lapis gave a girlish squeal and laughed as she was lifted, kissing Jasper again. "Please. I want you to do so many things to me."

 

"Well, your wish is my command," Jasper said, carrying her to the bedroom. She kicked the door shut behind them and lowered Lapis onto the bed before kissing her deeply. A finger already playing with the shoulder straps of her dress.

"What do you want to do?" she murmured against Lapis's lips.

 

"I want you to dom me." Lapis whispered, touching her face. She then closed her eyes. "Look... I kind of. Want to be punished. You haven't done that in a while."

 

Jasper blushed.

She hadn't. There was a very good reason for that, but Jasper preferred not thinking about _why_ she did the things she did.

"Are you... sure?" she asked softly.

 

"Yeah, go crazy. Make me realise I'm. A..." Horrible person. Disgusting. Awful. "Slutty little brat and that I need to be taught a lesson."

 

"Well, that can be arranged." Jasper smirked and stepped back. "Strip for me. Make it good. I'll get the chains."

 

Lapis watched her leave before dropping her smile. Jasper wouldn't... not now. She wasn't upset. She wouldn't hurt Lapis the amount she wanted to be hurt.

The amount she felt she deserved.

She undressed, remaining in her underwear. Jasper liked tearing it off of her. Ripping holes in her tights.

 

Jasper had the chains. The view of Lapis's body was tantalising.

She had to control herself.

"Lie down. On your belly." Her fingers clenched around the chains.

 

Lapis obeyed. Perhaps Jasper wouldn't let her down. It wasn't something that happened often.

It didn't stop her from wanting to bleed.

 

Jasper came closer, running her fingernails down Lapis's back. She hadn't cut them in a while.

Part of her wondered if she should.

She pressed a kiss onto Lapis's tattoo, just between her shoulder blades, and then chained her wrists to the bed. Taking her time.

 

 

"You don't need to be gentle."

 

There it was. Jasper nodded, then ran her nails down Lapis's back a little harder. "Gentle," she said, her laughter a quiet rumble in her chest. "I've barely even started. Don't worry, I'll make you pay for what you did."

 

Lapis moaned, an excitement growing in her belly. She pretended to struggle."What are you going to do to me?"

 

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough." The chains were tight, but probably not quite as tight as Jasper would have made them a few weeks ago. She took the crop. "You've been a bad girl, Lapis. Do you know why I'm punishing you?"

 

 _Because I hurt you and abused you._ "Oh, I've just been so bad. Not following any of your rules." _I left you out in the rain._

 

It wasn't true. Lapis had been on her best behaviour. "Name the rules you're supposed to be following."

She ran the crop over Lapis's back gently. Not hitting her yet.

 

 

Lapis nearly panicked. She'd been trying so hard to be good.  "Not talking back to you, you smelly dork."

 

Jasper instantly hit her. Hard enough to sting a little. "No insults. Every time you insult me, you add to your punishment. Go on."

 

Lapis hissed before giving a cat like grin. So, this was working. "I don't have to say anything to you."

 

"Yes, you do." Jasper hit her again, harder this time. "Tell me the rules. You know them, don't you? Or do I -" Another hit. "Need to remind you."

 

"I must've forgotten them." She lied through hot breaths. "You'll have to remind me."

 

"You're lying to me. That's one of the rules." Jasper hit her hard enough to leave a mark on her back now. "Don't lie to me."

 

Lapis let out a scream. That had been a little too much. But she wanted more. She balled her fists. "I can do whatever I want."

 

"No, you can't!" Another hit. Even harder. Jasper didn't pause to consider that if she didn't control herself, she'd draw blood soon. "You can't -" _Snap._ The crop hit Lapis's back again. "- just do what you want. You -" _Snap._ "- _hurt me_. And you're manipulating me -" _Snap._ "- again, you're doing it -" _Snap._ "- right now."

 

This was enough to make Lapis break down. She didn't have enough time between the cropping to scream for each intense flash of pain. It took her a few seconds to even be able to speak after it was over. She felt her back wet. "Jasperstopplease..." She took a shallow, wet inhale that rattled her torso. "Jasper, please-"

 

But Jasper wasn't done. "You _know_ I hate it when you do it. You're _disgusting_ , Lapis." Another hit. Lapis was bleeding. Jasper was too caught up in her anger to even hear her pleas. "You used to make me have panic attacks just so I'd fuck you afterwards." _Snap._ "You made me take baths." _Snap._ "You _made me go out in the rain_." _Snap._ "I have a _phobia_ and you used it for your own gain!"

 

Lapis was screaming. She'd screamed like this before.

No one would help her.

She shook, in shock and unable to form sentences from the pain. Her hyperventilation had made her gag.

The safe word. It would stop it. "M-malachite..." she whimpered. "Jasper, please, Malachite."

 

This time, Jasper heard.

But it only served to make her more enraged. "No!" she snapped, throwing the crop down and coming onto the bed, not caring if she hurt Lapis. Her nails scratched the bloody welts. "Shut _up_ ," she hissed, "you can't control me like that. You can't control me!"

She pulled back Lapis's head by her hair. Her other hand closed around Lapis's neck hard enough to leave bruises.

 

Lapis couldn't make a sound. Her voice came out as gasps under the choke hold.  She couldn't do anything as she ran out of air and swiftly fell limp.

Eyes closed.

 

And that was what made Jasper stop.

She dropped everything and got off the bed. Didn't even stop to undo the chains. Her eyes wide, her breathing harsh.

She'd _hurt_ Lapis.

Ignored the safeword. Hurt her more. All but strangled her.

"Lapis..." Her voice was barely more than a whisper. She was pressed into a corner of the room, as far away from Lapis as she could get. Fists clenched. Tears gathering in her eyes.

 

Lapis was unconscious. Her body barely moved, even as she unconsciously relaxed and regained her breath. The cuts on her back still bled, dying their sheets a deep burgundy.

 

 

"Lapis."

Jasper couldn't move. Didn't dare to. "Lapis, please say something."

 

She didn't wake up.

 

Tears fell swiftly down Jasper's face as she carefully approached the bed. "Lapis," she whispered again.

Undid the chains. It was hard; her hands were shaking.

She was a PE teacher. She knew first aid, and even if she was sobbing and shaking and barely trusting herself to do anything... Lapis was more important right now.

"Lapis," she whispered. Checked her breathing.

She was alive. Jasper swallowed, cried harder with relief.

She touched Lapis's hair. Managed to roll her into the recovery position and then got tissues and disinfectant. Her back looked... bad.

"I did this. I did this."

 

Lapis mumbled from the bed, coughing a little as she came to.

 

Jasper jumped immediately. Moved around so she could hold Lapis's head in her lap.

"Lapis, I'm so sorry," she whispered, voice thick with tears. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

 

"I'm okay. It's okay. It won't happen again," Lapis said, softly.

 

"Are you? You're..." Jasper swallowed, gently dabbed one of the bloody welts with her tissue. "You're hurt. I hurt you. Badly. I could have killed you, I nearly killed you. I hurt you."

 

"I don't wanna go into hospital."

 

"You're hurt," Jasper repeated. "I need to... I need to take care of you."

 

Lapis trembled. "Go for it."

 

Jasper got the disinfectant. "I'll clean you up," she said softly. "This is... probably going to hurt. I'm sorry." She dabbed some of the disinfectant onto Lapis's back.

"I - if you don't want to go to hospital, that's... that's okay, I'll look after you." Her voice was trembling.

 

Lapis hissed. Fresh tears made her now crusted eyes feel glued shut. "Do you think I need to get stitches?"

 

Jasper paused. Examined the damage.

"No, it... it should be fine," she said. "Lapis... I should never have gone this far. I - I ignored the safeword. That's not okay."

 

"I deserve it, probably. Hey. Now you got all that aggro out of you, right?"

 

"I. I think so." Jasper swallowed. "You don't deserve this."

 

"It won't happen again." Lapis sounded so certain.

 

Jasper lowered her head.

"I hope."

 

"I know." Lapis shakily moved to kiss her. Unreserved. In pain. She shuddered. "I'll be okay. I've got the holiday to heal up."

 

Jasper stroked Lapis's hair. Kissed her back. She was shaken to her core.

"I haven't done that in... so long," she said softly. "I didn't think I still could."

 

"Hey. You've been hurt by so much of what I've done. I've abused you. I probably... Deserved that."

 

Jasper sighed. Thought of what Peridot had said at the fair.

_'Do you think she's going to pay for what she's done to you-?'_

She kissed Lapis's forehead.

"Maybe you did," she said, "but I'll still try not to do it again."

 

\--

 

Finally, Spring break was upon the school, giving Aurora the much needed rest from work and an opportunity to grab Amethyst for a much promised shopping trip. And thus, she found herself dragging Amethyst to an adult shop.

 

Amethyst, on the other hand, was embarrassed to her core. As they entered the shop, she barely dared to look at anything. It was so... filthy. So openly sexual. It was nothing like anything Amethyst had ever allowed herself to be surrounded by.

 

The entrance was fairly tame. Pretty evening wear and underwear. Aurora softly held Amy's hand. "Do you wanna look at any of this stuff? Need a new bra?"

 

Amy shook her head. "None of them would fit me anyway," she said stubbornly. It was true - most of the bras were lacy and made for tiny girls with tiny boobs. Pearl. Pearl would look good in them.

Amethyst clenched her teeth.

 

Aurora simply laughed. "Honestly? Me too! My cup size is tiny but I've got a pretty wide chest. These places never think of me."

 

"We're just such unusual shapes," Amethyst joked. Finally dared to look up. "Wow, this place is bigger than I thought it would be."

 

"Yeah. Kinky shit is in the back. We need to keep walking." There were more staff at the back. Aurora found herself now surrounded by boxes of adult costumes. Her smile dropped.

She'd suggested this with Marigold on that night when-

No. Amethyst. She already felt things were awkward. Aurora clenched her fists. She couldn't fall apart. Not now. "Hey, look. You'd make a sexy cat."

 

Amethyst blushed harder. "I don't even know if I like kinky stuff," she mumbled. Stared at Aurora. Still didn't really look at any of the products. "And I dunno if I wanna be a cat."

 

"A mere suggestion." Aurora paused and tried to soften her voice. "Hey. Amy, relax. It's gonna be fun!"

 

"Maybe for you," Amy said.

She looked up, finally. Took in the vast array of lingerie, costumes. Toys. She swallowed.

"I guess I'll have a look around."

 

"If you don't like it, we can always leave, okay? And if you're not into any of this... ee can just go straight to the vibes."

 

"No, no, I'll be fine." Amethyst looked around, giggled, embarrassed. "We could have a look at the vibes. I... well, I don't have anyone to do any of this stuff with," she gestured to the costumes, "so I'll just, uh. Go solo for now."

 

"Ahh, I see. I'm sorry. Here." Aurora took Amy's hand. "I promise there's nothing to be ashamed of. This place is to help adult people have fun and we might not find anything but... it doesn't have to be awkward. You interested in anything pretty to wear for yourself? I'd be happy to get you something you'd feel comfortable or sexy in even if you were going out."

 

Amy pulled a face.

"I don't look pretty in anything," she said. If it was Pearl asking her... maybe. But Amethyst really didn't have the confidence for this right now.

"We could just look at the toys."

 

Aurora squeezed Amy's hand. "Alright, that's okay. I think they're over here." Aurora preferred coming to this place - instead of binary 'his and hers', the shop seemed to instead be far more themed with separated sections for toys, couples sets and fetish gear.

She nearly jumped as a tiny sales assistant hovered by, a look of humour in her pretty brown eyes. "Hi!" Her name tag read Padparadscha. "Would you like any help? Are you a couple?"

 

 

"No, no," Amy said quickly, "we're just friends." God knows how badly Pearl would blow up if _that_ was even just a possibility. She pulled her hand away from Aurora's.

"I dunno. I'm new to all of this."

 

"Oh, sorry. You two looked kind of cute together. But I can help!"

"My friend here isn't very used to toys and we're here just to get her some basic things." Aurora nodded, a little hurt at Amethyst pulling her hand away. Her cheeks flushed.

"Ah, I can foresee you'd probably want a beginner's toy."

"...Yes." Aurora frowned and then shrugged. "Probably a vibe kit?"

 

Amethyst was more than happy to let Aurora take the lead on this. Padparadsha was cute and seemed like she knew her stuff. Amy was still feeling awkward. A vibe kit, huh. "Yeah, sure, I'll have one of those," she said, a bit more loudly than necessary.

 

"We've got a few offers perfect for first time buyers. These ones... are a bit more expensive." She pointed at a display of a six inch shaft with a dial. "And we throw in cleaning wipes and lube in the package!"

Aurora nudged Amethyst. "That's good, huh?"

"So. You into anal?" Padparadscha asked as if it were the weather.

 

Amethyst's eyes were fixed on the vibe. "You- you can't spend that much money on me," she said, flustered.

And then froze when she heard Padparadscha's words.

Her mind raced.

"Uh," she said.

 

Aurora stepped in. "We're dealing with a very. Vanilla case."

"Ah. Well, we could look at the variety of vibes. This is our bunny range..."

Aurora whispered to Amy as they followed. "I fucking love bunnies."

 

Amy blushed. "Okay." And then she frowned at Aurora. "I'll just assume you mean the animals."

She looked up at the vibes.

Saw one that looked just like Pearl's one.

"That one," she said, pointing.

 

"Oh, this is a pretty popular toy. It comes with its own pouch and has a warranty for an entire year." Padparadscha nodded.

"You want that one, Amy?"

 

"Please," she said, blushing because Aurora could probably read on her face that that was the one Amy had _experience_ with.

Which reminded her that they'd still not really talked about the fact that Amy had slept with Pearl. She grimaced.

 

Aurora caught on. "Of course. I think we'll take it."

"Okay! Would you like to have a look at any other of our toys. There's more for solo play too."

 

Amy took the box and clutched it to her chest like a child that had been given a Christmas present early. "I dunno," she said. "What else is there?"

 

"We have accessories - like little bullet vibes. They do pack quite a punch so please be careful if you've got a sensitive clitoris."

 

Amy thought she'd been blushing before. She was wrong.

"I don't. Know?" she said. "Rori..."

She had what she came for, and she was getting a little uncomfortable.

 

Padparadscha frowned, sensing the distress. "Oh, I'm very sorry if I upset you. I'm here to help you make a decision and be as open and upfront about sex."

Aurora quickly hugged her. "It's okay. Are you alright? She's just here to help us. I'm sure we could get some space if we'd ask, right?"

"Oh, of course. I'll gather up things and wait for you at the checkout if you'd like to browse privately."

"Would you like that, Amy?"

 

Amy pouted. "I'm fine," she said. "Stop fussing over me."

She stuck very close to Aurora, without realising it, but when she did, she shuffled away a little bit.

 

"Sorry about this." Aurora apologised; stroking Amy regardless in an effort to comfort her.

"Hmm, I need to go into the back to get some of the stuff this one comes with, so guys could look around while I do that?"

Aurora nodded. "Good idea," turning to Amy as she left. Her face worried. "I'm sorry, Amethyst. I didn't realise I'd put you at risk of feeling weirded out. Are you sure you're okay. We could just buy this toy and leave. I could also show you some stuff I know about."

 

Amy avoided Aurora's gaze. "I think... maybe can we just go? We could, uh, come back some other time."

 

"Alright." Aurora gave a swift nod. No questions. She led Amethyst to the till, where the clerk was organising a box with the toy.

"I'll put your receipt in here. Card or cash?"

"Card, please." Aurora sighed, giving the box to Amy. "That's you sorted, then."

"I'll take a bit more of your time just to explain some health and safety - house rules, sorry, girls." Padparadscha shot Amy an apologetic look. "The cleaning wipes included are safe to use after every use, and we recommend using water based lubricants with this one, it's a silicone toy so anything with oil will make it prone to wear and bacterial buildup. There we go! Have a nice day, okay?"

 

"Yeah, okay," Amethyst said, taking the bag. "Thanks. Uh. Sorry for being awkward."

 

"It's okay. " Aurora said, holding the door open. "I'm just concerned if I've made you have some kind of awful sex shop awkward trauma experience." Thankfully, her car was directly outside. "Oh. This was meant to be a cute and quirky girls night out kind of thing. I'm sorry."

 

"No no, it was ok, I just... I guess I wasn't ready." Amethyst faced the ground. "I dunno."

 

"It's... about Pearl, isn't it?"

 

Amy buried her hands deep in her pockets. "Maybe," she said, giving a noncommittal shrug.

 

"Let's get home, okay? I could make us cocoa... or cocoa with baileys!" Aurora tried to warm up her voice before sighing. "I... think... I screwed up here, Amy."

 

"No, no, you did fine. It was me." Amy crunched up her face. "I should've never slept with her. I should've never told you."

 

"What, no! It's okay. I don't... I don't care who you do things with. I just want you to be safe and happy." Aurora put her head into her hands, the car standing still in the parkway. "I... you told me about the fact that you were sexually active and... something about me just jumped on that and wanted to be a part of that and... then there's everything with Marigold so maybe I'm doing it to compensate or to stir things but... I don't want to."

 

Amy sulked. Just a little.

"Thanks for getting me this," she then said. Sighed. "Let's just go home."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The promised summary:
> 
> Lapis felt like she needed to be punished for everything she did to Jasper, so she enticed her into bed and asked her to dominate her. Jasper lost control, hurting Lapis, ignoring the safeword and choking Lapis until she passed out. When Lapis came to Jasper apologised profusely, tended to her injuries, and Lapis forgave her because she was sure it wouldn't happen again.
> 
> In the second part of the chapter, Aurora took Amethyst to an adult shop to look for a vibe. Amethyst was quite uncomfortable, selected one that was closest to the one she'd seen with Pearl, and then asked to leave. On their way out, Amethyst and Aurora almost talked about the fact that Amy slept with Pearl, but it didn't really go anywhere.


	62. Act V - Chapter XXVII: Gems

 

_Dear colleagues, friends, and sympathisers:_

_I've just received news that I am suspended until the end of the exam season. This move comes after a certain someone has apparently gone to the Principal and told her about our alleged relationship._

_There is no proof for this, and I feel I've been treated unfairly by the Principal for months. I'm emailing you because we have spoken about this before and I believe you will be sympathetic to my cause._

_I'm arranging a meeting with everyone receiving this message to discuss our strategy moving on from here. As much as I wish I could, I cannot do this alone._

_I've attached a poll where you can check your availabilities so I can plan this meeting. If you don't want to be involved, please let me know._

_Love,_

_Rose Quartz._

 

 

It was a cool morning, Lapis had awoken a few hours in advance to cover the covert bruises on her body with makeup.

She felt uncomfortable by the time she slid the shirt on. But this would be worth it. Rose Quartz finally giving her a good scoop? She wouldn't miss it. She couldn't.

She'd prepared herself and Jasper bacon and egg sandwiches that she'd wrapped up for consumption as they car pooled with Peridot.

She dragged her aching body outside, food in hand.

 

Jasper had, remorsefully and diligently, helped Lapis with her makeup - she was better than anyone she knew with covering up irregularly coloured patches on the skin. It was okay, but people would be able to notice if they were close to Lapis.

It didn't help that Lapis winced every time someone touched her back.

Guilt sat deep in Jasper's stomach. She barely said a word while they were waiting for Peridot.

 

Lapis couldn't take the silence for too long. She was currently rather wrapped up in pretending nothing had happened. Putting on makeup was agonising. A reminder. But it had been necessary- to cover for the others and for herself. The silence, the new awkwardness, too, only served to remind her fragile psyche that it was real.

"Like your sandwich, hun?" She forced a smile behind black lipstick. A look that would distract from her body. "I put barbecue and mayo in it. It's your favorite."

 

Jasper forced a smile.

"It's great," she said. "Thanks."

She could feel that Lapis just wanted to pretend everything was okay. But everything was _not_ okay. They were going to see Peridot soon. Other people too. They'd _notice_.

"Sorry," she said softly.

 

"It's okay." Lapis gripped Jasper's hand. "We'll get through this. We'll have Peridot there, too."

 

"She doesn't know." Jasper clenched her jaw. "What's she going to think? Are we just... not going to tell her?"

 

"She doesn't need to know. It isn't necessary. It won't happen again so it's not a problem."

 

Jasper looked down.

"Okay," she said, almost inaudibly.

_It won't happen again._

 

_ _

 

Lapis didn't have a chance to reply as the car drove up in front of them. She gave Peridot a smile and a wave to her mother. "Peridot! Hi!"

"Lapis!" She pulled the window down. "You should sit next to me since Jasper can have more leg room if she shotguns since I don't need that much. How're ya guys?"

 

Jasper gratefully accepted the offer and slid into the front seat. She kept her head down.

"I'm fine," she said. "You?"

 

"I'm good!" Peridot replied, watching them enter the car. "Seat belts buckled, crew!"

 

Lapis got in next to Peridot and pressed a kiss onto her cheek.

_If I act normal, it's all going to be okay. She doesn't have to know._

"Are you excited?" she asked. "I'm excited."

 

Peridot blinked, her cheeks reddening. She pulled Lapis into a quick hug. "Yes! I really don't get to talk to Quartz enough. I do hope she's alright."

 

"It's just a suspension," Lapis said, trying very hard to stop from wincing when Peridot's arms touched her back. "Diamond can't fire her unless she's got proof, which it sounds like she doesn't."

 

Peridot frowned at the wince but then shrugged. "I guess. I've got a weird feeling about all this."

 

"Oh?" Lapis looked at Peridot. "How come?"

She'd seen Peridot's frown and was determined to distract her. It would be easier if Jasper was talking too... but, as Lapis realised, that wasn't going to happen.

 

"It's just unusual. I hope she's dealing with it all okay."

 

"It's not the first time Diamond's threatened her," Jasper finally piped up. "She can deal with it."

 

"But she's been suspended. That's... pretty big." Peridot wondered why it suddenly felt all too tense. She couldn't pry with her mother in the car, however, and simply chose to hold Lapis' hand for the ride.

 

Lapis sighed and squeezed Peridot's hand.

"Well, I guess that's why we're all on our way to hers," she said. "I wonder if all the people she invited are actually going to come."

 

"The mailing list was pretty big. I hope it's not too crowded."

 

"She lives in one of those rich people homes at the edge of the city," Jasper said. "She probably wouldn't be inviting all of us there if she didn't have space for us."

"Yeah," Lapis said, "I'm sure it'll be okay."

 

It didn't take long to drive to Rose's side of town. Outside, a beaten up, parked car with approximately twenty queer bumper stickers sat in the driveway.

"Oh. This looks. Interesting." Peridot blinked.

 

Lapis frowned. "Ruby and Sapphire," she guessed. "I don't think you ever met them? They graduated last year."

 

"No, I had no idea students would be coming, really. But I guess ex students are a different deal."

 

“Well, students are at the receiving end of Diamond’s homophobia just as much as staff,” Lapis said. “Ruby and Sapphire were very much affected last year. They were voted inofficial prom queens and Diamond just got… bitter.”

She opened the door and climbed out. “Thank you for driving us, Ms Spearmint!” she said, smiling at Peridot’s mum.

 

Peridot's mother nodded. "I'll be back to pick you up later. Text me, Peri."

Peridot nodded. "Alright! Let's go, then."

 

Jasper led the way, still unusually quiet. She rang the doorbell.

Rose opened, her face slightly red. “Oh, hi! Hello, everyone. Do come in – do you want drinks? Ruby and Sapphire are here, we’re only expecting, er, two more people.” Though whether those two would actually show up was still a little questionable.

 

"Thanks!" Peridot walked in. "You got apple juice?"

 

“Sure!” Rose stepped aside. Greg was in the kitchen, providing refreshments; he was happy to help out, but didn’t want to get involved too much.

“The kitchen is on your right, and the living room is straight ahead,” Rose said, pointing. “Do make yourself at home.”

She exchanged a respectful nod with Jasper, and smiled at Lapis.

 

Ruby sat open legged in a pair of shorts, sipping at a cola. The second the trio walked in, her face brightened up. "Whoa, shit! I didn't think the coach was coming."

 

“Didn’t you even have a look at all the people the email was addressed to?” Lapis said. Her and Ruby had never mixed all that well, back when Ruby had still attended. “Nice to see you again,” she said anyway.

“Nice to see you too,” Sapphire said, her voice only a little cooler than usual.

“Hey, you two,” Jasper said, brightly. Finally able to tear her thoughts away from Lapis and how she’d hurt her. “How are you doing?”

 

Ruby didn't have much time to react to Lapis and chose to ignore her in favour of beaming at her old coach. "Made the football team at uni!"

 

“Good, good,” Jasper said. “Do you still dance at all?”

 

"Nah. Don't have the time for it anymore."

Peridot sat on the other couch, examining the pillows. "These are some very environmentally motivated cross stitches."

 

Rose smiled at her. “Well, I try to be as conscious as possible,” she said, “I cycle to work most mornings, and I try to buy organic whenever I can. Please, make yourself at home!”

She found her chair, checked the clock. If Aurora and Amethyst were coming, they were already almost ten minutes late.

_Give them a few more minutes. At least until Greg is done making drinks for everyone._

 

Almost on cue, Greg walked in with a wide tray, stocked up with various drinks. "Alright, who ordered the bloody Mary?"

As eyes scattered around the room, Ruby shrugged. "Rose did say I could ask for anything."

 

Rose frowned, but said nothing. She waited until everyone had their drinks, then sighed as everyone’s attention started to focus on her.

“Well, I suppose you all know each other,” she said, “and I don’t know if anyone else is going to come, so…”

She took a deep breath.

“Well. You all read the email. I’m suspended until the end of exams, and Diamond has no proof but the word of a… student.”

She tried not to let her bitterness show in her voice. From the faces she got, she suspected she was failing. The only one who did not look surprised was Sapphire.

“She’s still being very serious… recorded our conversation after the fair, and everything. I have reason to believe that she is singling me out because I’m queer – not because of an alleged relationship wi-“

The doorbell rung.

Rose stopped, frowned. “Hang on, I’ll get that.”

 

Lapis watched her leave before clearing her throat. "Just saying, there's nothing alleged about that relationship. She's just trying to damage control."

 

Rose opened the door to Aurora and Amethyst.

“Oh, hello!” she said. “Do come in, I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Amy said, “I’m not here for you, just to bring down Diamond.”

Aurora gave Rose a nod. Rose stepped aside to let them in.

Amy didn’t bother taking off her shoes, and instead made her way to the living room. Huh, so this was where Quartz lived. Pearl had been here.

She sighed and then realised she was the only student in the room.

“Ruby! Sapphire!” Aurora recognised them and crossed the room. “This is Amy – Amy, Ruby, Sapphire. They danced with Pearl last year.”

“Oh! You’re the infamous gays,” Amy said, a lot more comfortable as she settled down next to them. Casting an awkward smile at her teachers.

“That we are,” Sapphire said. “And you’re Pearl’s... friend.”

Amy grimaced. “Yeah, I guess you could call it that,” she said.

Sapphire frowned. “I can tell it’s a complicated relationship. She’ll probably try to make amends soon.”

Rose came over, having overheard some of their conversation. “Well, it’s not like she can count on me anymore,” she said, her voice bitter. “Not after this.”

Amy cowered a little under her gaze.

“It’s okay, Amethyst,” Rose said with a smile. “We’ve only had the same goals from the start, haven’t we? And I’m determined to protect everyone in this room.”

She gave a smile to Aurora before settling down again.

“Well, now that we’re complete,” she said, “let me start again. The short version is that... _someone_ told the Principal about my closeness to a student, and now I’m suspended.”

“Right,” Lapis chimed in. “Cards on the table, Quartz. If we’re going to help you, we need you to be honest. How much is true, how far did you go?”

Rose blushed, avoided Lapis’s questing gaze.

“Most of it is true,” she said, “I _did_ have a relationship with a student. I... there’s no point keeping it from you, since all of you already know. Pearl and I... were in a relationship, I – I have to admit I let my feelings get the better of me... and it didn’t work out. So she...” She pressed her lips together. Determined to stay strong in front of these people.

“So she decided to rat you out to Diamond,” Aurora said softly. “I was there. I – I knew you’d be suspended even before the fair.”

Rose closed her eyes, breathed a sigh.

“Her suspending me is justified,” she said, “I did something I shouldn’t have. However... I’m still very narrowly within the bounds of the legal. Pearl and I were never intimate. The furthest we’ve gone is kissing.”

Amethyst felt her eyes burn. That... the fact that Quartz said it that way made jealousy boil in her stomach.

“So, if your suspension is justified, what are we doing here?” Lapis said again, apparently eager to play devil’s advocate.

“Oh. Yeah,” Rose said. “Well, like I said before, I’m fairly sure she’s singling out people who are queer. Including trans kids – I know Buck’s had his name change form denied for months, for no particular reason. This is the latest symptom and I feel she’d turn a blind eye if it was a male teacher with a female student.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case,” Jasper said. Ruby and Sapphire nodded.

“So I wanted to ask you if you wanted to help me form a plan,” Rose said. “Get Diamond out... or at least expose her. I have no concrete evidence, but any testimonials would be very helpful.” She nodded at Ruby and Sapphire. “Does anyone have any ideas?”

Jasper, who’d been quiet at first, spoke up.

“Code names,” she said.

Lapis threw her a look.

“We had code names,” Jasper said again, “you remember, back when we first discussed it with you? Most of us work at the school. Or go to it. We’ll be discussing things there. We need code.”

Peridot sat up.

“I’m good with code!” she said, sounding excited. “What code do you have in mind?”

Jasper swallowed. “Uh,” she said, “didn’t we say the Principal was Yellow Diamond...?”

“Big Yellow,” Lapis corrected her, a small smile on her face.

“Big Yellow, yeah, that was it. Her secretary was Yellow Pearl-“

Aurora cleared her throat, frowning.

“Oh, sorry.” Jasper blushed. “Uh. If you don’t like it we can think of something else.”

“No, it’s... oddly fitting.” Aurora shifted, her frown not completely gone. “Go ahead.”

“Um,” Jasper said. “Lapis, can you remember them? Or Rose? You were there too, after all.”

“I think that was all we had,” Lapis said.

“Okay,” Rose said. “Code names are a good idea. Just so she doesn’t catch wind of what’s going on. Does anyone have any other suggestions?”

Sapphire spoke. “We need a name for this group of ours,” she said, “for the same reason. You won’t be able to call it the anti-Diamond-club.”

Rose nodded, thoughtful. Silence fell.

“Anti-Yellow-club?” Amethyst suggested.

Aurora shot her a dark look. “There’s _nothing_ wrong with the colour yellow.”

Amy blushed. “Sorry.”

Silence fell once more.

“I got it!” Peridot said. “How about the Gem Alliance? Cus, ya know, Diamond is a gem. So is...” She had a look around the room, turned a little red. “Ah, well. Um.”

“Most of us,” Ruby said.

Rose frowned. “It still sounds too much like an organisation,” she said, “and anything that’ll raise suspicion even slightly is not good enough.”

“She’s got a point, though,” Amethyst said. “Hasn’t anyone else noticed how we’re all called after gems? How weird is that? I mean, cool, but... weird.”

“Speak for yourself,” Aurora muttered.

Amy nudged her. “Hey, I’m sure there’s some kind of weird gem out there called Aurora.”

“Thanks.”

“Let’s not get off track,” Rose cautioned. “I feel like we might be onto something with the gems. Are there any other ideas apart from the Gem alliance?”

Everyone went silent again. A good minute passed without anyone saying a word.

“Uh,” Greg walked in. “Does anyone want any more drinks? I got sent some Crystal Pepsi from the states.”

Eight pairs of eyes turned to stare at him.

“I got it,” Amethyst said.

“That’s a brilliant idea,” Sapphire said.

“Yeah,” Lapis and Jasper said in unison.

“Definitely.” Rose nodded.

Greg looked back and forth between all of them.

“What the hell just happened?” he asked.

Rose smiled at him. “Something amazing,” she said. “Bring some of the Crystal Pepsi and we’ll mix it with some drinks. I’ll tell you about it later, or you can join in, if you want.”

Greg nodded and left.

“He’s an outsider, Rose,” Lapis said immediately after the door closed behind him. “We should try to keep this as small as possible.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t have a cool gem name!” Amethyst chimed in.

“Speaking of,” Ruby said, “did we not just find the perfect name for our little group?”

“The Crystal Gems,” Rose said, “yes.”

“I like it,” Peridot said.

“Yeah, me too.” Aurora risked a small smile.

“As for Greg,” Rose said, “well, I’ll likely tell him everything anyway, so he might as well sit in.” She shrugged. “Okay, so we have a name. Now we need an agenda.”

The door opened and Greg came in.

“Oh, thank you!” Rose took the Crystal Pepsi from him. “Feel free to join us, if you’d like. We have a name now.”

“Yeah, we’re the Crystal Gems!” Ruby exclaimed.

“Oh, that’s a great name!” Greg said, sitting down. “What’re you going to do?”

Rose blushed. “We were getting to that.”

“Diamond,” Jasper said softly.

“Yeah.” Rose gave a soft sigh. “She needs to be taken down. The question is... how.”

“I got plenty of evidence,” Ruby said, cracking their knuckles. “Dunno if it’s enough to fire her, but it’s a start.”

“Yes, it is,” Rose said. “Do we have anything else to go on?”

She shot a hopeful look at Aurora, who pointedly avoided her gaze. Amethyst looked like she was about to say something, but then looked at Aurora and stopped.

“We got a few instances of her being annoying, but nothing you can prove,” Jasper said, “and anyway, you’re the best person for finding irrefutable evidence, aren’t you, Rose?”

It was a jab about Roxy, and it hit its mark. It stung. Rose gave a non-committal shrug.

“Well, the aim is to find something that will discredit her, maybe damage her reputation, and in the best case, remove her in her position of power,” she said. “She’s done so much damage. It’s the least we can do to protect our students.”

“Agreed,” Lapis said.

“But we don’t have much proof. We should try and find more.”

A few of the others nodded.

“Well, there’s not all that much we can do just now,” Rose said. “We have a name, and a mission. We should reconvene at some other point and discuss the evidence then, as well as plans of action.”

More nods.

“Feel free to stay and have some more drinks,” Rose said, “but for now, this meeting is adjourned.”

 

 

 

 


	63. Act V - Chapter XXVIII: Moving on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick heads up that we've decided to up the rating from Teens and up to Mature! Not because of this chapter in particular, but rather because we want to make sure this fic has the appropriate rating, and lots of content that we've had is probably not all that appropriate for young teenagers.
> 
> Warnings for sexual innuendo in this chapter. Enjoy!

Introspection sometimes cut through her fears like a samurai sword, and that evening, Pearl found herself with the courage to finally send Amethyst a message.

_‘Hey. I'm really sorry. Could we maybe please talk? Even if all you do is tell me how much you hate me. I just want some closure.’_

 

 

Amethyst, having returned from the meeting, looked at her phone.

Frowned.

After about half an hour of careful deliberation, she finally texted back.

_‘Fine.’_

The fact that she was using capital letters and punctuation should probably serve to show Pearl that she was taking this Seriously, with a capital S.

_‘Wanna meet up somewhere? idk. A cafe or something.’_

She sighed.

_‘And I don’t hate you.’_

 

 _‘Isn't it late?’_ Pearl frowned, _‘nowhere is going to be open. We could call.’_

Knowing she wasn't hated was fairly relieving.

 

_‘i was more thinking like tomorrow or something’_

_‘dunno if i wanna call’_

 

_‘that's alright.’_

It wasn't. She sighed and tried to swipe away the messenger bubble. She noticed an earlier conversation she'd had with Sapphire.

_‘so, uh. There's a rave tonight. I'm kind of grounded but might try and sneak out.’_

 

Amy frowned.

On impulse, pressed the call button.

 

Oh.

Pearl picked up. "Hey." She said, nervous. "I'm sorry."

 

“Nah man, forget about it. Did you say rave? I was talking to Ruby earlier and she told me about one – this wouldn’t happen to be the same one?”

 

"Down by the junkyard? I'm not too sure how safe it is but Sapphire wouldn't invite me out to something dangerous."

 

“Oh, man, so we are talking about the same thing!” Amy grinned. “I saw Sapphire texting but I didn’t realise she was talking to you. I wasn’t gonna go, got no one to go with. Well, until now. You down?”

 

Pearl then frowned.

"Um. What are you doing with... them?"

 

Amethyst cocked her head.

Oh yeah, Pearl didn’t know.

“We were just hanging with your ex,” she said casually, “nothing you need to worry about.”

 

"Um!" Pearl was flabbergasted. "UM!"

 

“Dude, chill, I’ll tell ya about it later. Though, ya know, ratting her out to Diamond? Not cool. Anyway. Whatever. Do you wanna-“ Wait, inviting Pearl over was probably not a great idea. “Uh, I could come to yours? Or we could just meet there?”

 

"Meeting there. Parents aren't letting me have anyone over."

 

“Ok, sure. Uh. When?”

 

"Hang on. Need to ask Sapphire when it starts."

 

Amethyst laughed. “No you don’t,” she said. “It starts at eleven. I talked to them, remember? Ruby told me everything. She’s gonna be there too.” She then realised her mistake. “I mean they.”

 

Pearl paused.

Oh.

She felt envy. Upset. Amy wasn't meant to know them.

"I'll see you there at eleven. "

 

“Cool! See you soon then,” Amy said, and waited for Pearl to hang up.

 

Her voice betrayed her heartbreak. "Can't wait!" She promptly dropped the call.

 

"Amy!" Aurora called out. "I'm going out!"

 

Amy instantly jumped up. “Yo, where are you off to?” she said. “I didn’t realise you had plans.”

 

"Um, I forgot to mention." Aurora looked awkward. "I set up a tinder account. I have a date."

 

 

“Oh man, that’s so cool! Incidentally,” Amethyst nodded at her phone, “so do I. I’m going to the rave Ruby was talking about, and Pearl’s gonna join me there.” She grinned at Aurora.

 

"Oh!" Aurora seemed surprised. "You're friends again?"

 

“As of like five seconds ago, I guess,” Amethyst said. “So who’s your date?”

 

"She's really cute. Rich, too. A lawyer. She's from out of town, but look." Aurora swiped up a profile and passed her phone to Amy for a look.

 

 

“Aw! Cute. Not as cute as Pearl, though.” Amy grinned at Aurora. “Anyway, yeah, I’m going to the rave. I guess you can’t drive, but I can take the bus. You have fun, yeah?”

 

"You... take care of her, okay? Don't get too drunk and just lemme know if you're going to crash somewhere. Even if it's a very drunk call, lemme know you're safe."

 

“Will do, mum.” Amy grinned and came in for a hug. “You stay safe too, yeah? Don’t let lawyer girl kidnap you. She’d win the court case for that, probably.”

 

"Oh, she might. I'll try and not let her steal my heart." Aurora winked. "There's lamb chops in the fridge to heat up when you get back."

 

“Thank you!” Amy waved. “I’ll go back to my room, I need to find a cute outfit.”

 

Aurora watched her leave and finally allowed her face to drop. An odd pang of envy sent ripples of upset through her. She shrugged it off.

She had a date. They'd arranged to meet up at a conveyor belt sushi bar that was open until late. She was ready to try and move on for tonight. Amethyst had been right. Everyone seemed to be enjoying some form of romantic love in her life and she was tired of lagging behind over her loss of Marigold.

Adorned with her usual pretty yellow evening dress, she pulled up at the location they'd agreed on.

 

Zaira Giallo was already there; she’d only ever been late for anything once, and that had been a complete embarrassment.

(She was fairly sure everyone else involved had long forgotten about it.)

She was intrigued by this girl she’d managed to find online. Several years younger than her, but Aurora didn’t seem to mind that in the slightest.

She caught Aurora’s eye and waved her over. Eyes wandering over the flattering yellow dress she was wearing.

“Good evening,” she said when Aurora was close. She leant in to kiss Aurora’s cheek. “A nice location. Sushi isn’t usually my fancy, but it’s always nice to try something different.” Her English was accented, but otherwise perfect.

 

 

Aurora blushed, not quite expecting the contact, but heavily appreciating it all the same. "This place is pretty good, they do a lot more than just the fish, so it's not that bad. What do you usually enjoy?"

 

Zaira smiled as they settled down. “Well, I’m from Italy,” she said, “I have high standards. This country...” She grimaced. “Well, let’s just say, it could do better in many ways. How has your day been?”

 

"Oh yes, you mentioned it on your profile. What brings you here?" Aurora smiled. "I've had a... busy day. Had to meet up with a friend since she's been suspended from work."

 

“My boss is here investigating something,” Zaira said. “I can’t disclose details, but it’s an odd little case, and she’s called me here to help her sort out things. I won’t be staying for long,” she added, “so I do hope you’re not looking for anything permanent. I don’t do long distance.”

 

"Just some fun from a pretty older woman. I'd appreciate a distraction and," she pressed a soft, seductive stroke against Zaira's hand. "I'll try my best to help you have a good time."

 

Zaira frowned, displeased. “I am really not that old,” she said, “and if you insist on making me feel like I am, I might just leave.”

 

Aurora could only apologise. "Sorry; I didn't mean for it to come out like that. Wanna order drinks?"

 

“It’s forgiven.” The smile was back. She held on to Aurora’s hand before Aurora could pull it away. “Of course. They actually have some decent wines. What will you have?”

 

"Oh, I'm feeling just the cider for now. That might change if something else catches my eye, though."

 

Zaira nodded, then waved the waiter over to order their drinks.

When he was gone, she turned to Aurora again.

“So, tell me a little about yourself, Aurora Jaune,” she said.

 

"Well, I'm not very special. I'm local from here. A personal assistant and secretary for now but I'm planning to go to university soon." She looked a little mournful for a second. "If there's anything interesting is that my high school sweetheart was the headteacher."

 

“Gosh, you’re so young. But that sounds exciting. What was your headteacher like?”

 

"Tall. Loud." Beautiful. "Annoying. It wasn't a good time, but hey. Kept me close to my sister for a while."

 

Zaira frowned mildly. “How so?”

 

"I graduated high school five years ago. I could have gone to university then, but I didn't trust my parents to look after my sister. I raised her, you see." She looked a little distracted for a second. "We had a decent relationship for that time until last summer."

 

“Sounds like quite a ride,” Zaira said. “Tell me about your sister, then.”

 

"She's unfortunately rather vulnerable. Gave me this number on my nose." She laughed, unable to really be bitter about it anymore. "A fighter. The thing was that I was really a permanent part of her life until my boss started to chip into more and more of my personal life."

 

“Hmm. I don’t have any brothers or sisters, or children, so I wouldn’t know what that’s like. Almost all my life is work, which is how I like it.” A small, slightly cheeky smile played around her lips; almost like she had made a joke that Aurora wasn’t in on.

 

"Oh, yes!" Aurora blushed a little. It felt like she was somehow being made fun of.  She wasn't going to let it make her feel defeated, however. "Your job does sound incredibly exciting. I must admit it was one of the things that drew me to you. Tell me about it."

 

“Oh, being a lawyer is really not all that exciting. Unless you’re very good. Like me,” she smirked. “I got hired by someone _rich_. So I get to do their court cases. Have been for several years. And it’s Italy, so yes, occasionally, the Mafia is involved.” She winked.

 

"Oh my god." Aurora gasped. "Now that _is_ exciting. Though, I take it that disclosure agreements mean that you can't tell me much."

 

“You have the right idea, bella.” The way she said it was sincere, a little arrogant, but didn’t cross the line to condescending yet. “I’m sure there’s things about your job that you wouldn’t be able to tell me about. So let’s not talk about jobs, hm? What is it you like to do in your spare time?”

 

"Now that I have a little more time to myself, I've been getting more enthusiastic at reviving some of my old video games in my spare time. I also spend way too much time watching makeup tutorials on the Internet." Aurora laughed, awkward. But unashamed in her earnest glance. "What do you do?"

 

Zaira smiled. Aurora was cute.

“I don’t get much free time, and I tend to spend a significant amount of it trying to find someone to spend it with,” she said, nodding at Aurora. “But when I do have time, I like roleplay. Any kind – Dungeons and Dragons, online, or … sexual.” She deliberately held Aurora’s eyes.

 

Aurora bit her lip, eagerly. "Oh, that's exciting. My twin was always into that, so I was kept up to date. Never really tried it, but I could be persuaded to try anything." She rubbed her own wrist. Her dates had never been this forward. This open.

She liked it.

 

Zaira’s smile widened. Her gaze going from calculating to seductive in a heartbeat.

“Well, if you’re up for it, you could come back to my hotel after we’re done here,” she said.

As if on cue, their waiter brought their drinks. “Would you like to order any food?”

 

"It would be a pleasure." She winked back and then paused, picking up her cider. "Hmm... I'll start off with just salmon sashimi."

 

Zaira shot her a look and then looked at the waiter. “I’ll have whatever she’s having.”

Displaying an air of confidence even though she really did not know her way around sushi.

 

"Tell me, then," Aurora said, sipping as they were left alone. "What's the main appeal in role play for you?"

 

 

Zaira took her time answering, taking a long and calculated sip of her wine.

Not too bad.

She then smiled at Aurora again. “Should I be honest with you?”

 

"I won't run, I swear." Aurora was charmed by that mysterious smile.

 

Zaira could tell. She chuckled. “Okay then,” she said. “Well, my job… excites me. More than it should. I like the power it gives me over people, the legal means to… interrogate. I like to imagine that power in different settings… what I would do to them if I was given the chance… but I like how controlled it is. I’m held back only by the law, or, in roleplaying scenarios, by my own moral code… and yet that is the strongest force there is. That balance – between being in power and being controlled… well, I’m sure you know how it is.” She gave a soft little giggle. “Even in non-sexual settings, I always play a lawyer. Or judge. Somebody who has power, but only as far as the law allows. It excites me.”

 

Aurora was somewhat aflush by the time Zaira was finished, watching her with net typical adoring intensity she'd only shared with Marigold in prior.

"My goodness," she finally replied. "That really is something. Is the fact that you're getting off to it something you can hold a keen poker face to? Or have you ever been accused of enjoying proceedings a bit too much?”

 

“No, no. Please, Aurora, I’m a professional.” Zaira laughed. “The only people who ever know about this are my sexual partners. Who I tend to keep strictly separate from my work. Hence the dating app.”

 

"I figured it was worth asking." Aurora giggled. It had been a dumb question. "It's clever, though."

 

“It’s just the way I am.” Zaira shrugged, still smiling. “So, what do you like? What… excites you? I can tell you’re into women who are a little older than you. Anything else?”

 

"I suppose I'm drawn to an imbalance of power. But I'd like to explore it with a fair bit of control. I feel that regardless of the amount of self empowerment I feel, I'm naturally fairly submissive and enjoy being led around."

 

“Oh, I feel we are going to get along splendidly,” Zaira said.

Their food hadn’t even arrived yet and Zaira was getting impatient, ready to leave. Aurora seemed like the perfect girl for a one-off thing, just casual play, nothing serious. And the way she took Zaira’s interest…

It was all so exciting.

 

Aurora noticed the slight fidget and lightly smiled. She'd found the same impatience in Amy.

Once the slices of fresh sashimi arrived, adorned prettily with vegetables, Aurora broke apart her chopsticks. "I take it you would like to head back to yours fairly soon?"

 

“Please. Though I won’t hold it against you if you want to eat your fill. If the evening goes as planned, you’ll need your energy later.” She winked before digging into hers as well.

She was a little clumsy with the chopsticks, but managed.

“Oh, this is really good. Maybe I should have sushi more often,” she said after having a few bites.

 

"Oh," Aurora flushed and dug in, spreading some wasabi paste over the pink fish and then letting it soak in a tiny dish of soy sauce. "I like it the best when it's so salty I can't feel my face. My twin likes hers completely on it's own and thinks I'm utterly mad."

 

“Hmm.” Zaira hadn’t tried the condiments yet. “The wasabi is spicy, right?” She picked up a tiny bit with her chopsticks and laughed. “White people spicy,” she commented before spreading some of it on her sushi, copying Aurora. “I have to say I probably agree with you. It’s a little dry on its own.”

 

"It's just the right amount of controlled spice for me, I feel." Aurora beamed, licking her lips and picking up a bowl of edamame beans off of the conveyor belt.

 

“You do seem to like controlled spice, hm?” Zaira chuckled. Watched Aurora pick up beans off the belt and let her eyes wander along. “Anything on there you’d particularly recommend?”

 

"The wafu salad here is pretty excellent." She smiled. "And the gyoza - that's the veggie ones passing us by on the purple plate."

 

Zaira picked up one of each. She started with the salad.

“Unusual,” she commented, “but I like it.”

 

"It's the weird seaweed crunch that gets me every time. " Aurora watched, finding a selection of tuna and vegetables.

 

Zaira nodded, concentrating on eating. Maybe if she ate fast (which she knew how to do; five-minute lunch breaks were a regular occurrence for her) they’d get to the actual interesting part of the evening more quickly.

 

Aurora finished her food and ordered another cider. It would be her last but she already felt more drunk than she had been in a while. "I'm just going to head to the bathroom," she said, flushed. "I'll be right back."

 

“Okay,” Zaira said. In the time Aurora was gone, she topped up her makeup a little and fixed her hijab. Which, hopefully, she would not be wearing for much longer.

She also took the opportunity to pay the bill for both of them, not even giving Aurora the the chance to protest. By the time Aurora got back, they’d be ready to leave.

 

Aurora made it to the bathroom and ran her hands under the water. She neatened her fringe and spritzed on a new wiff of perfume. She'd even shaved down there. Shaved.

In her many years of physical and sexual services to Marigold, most of her expectations were more behavioral. Marigold had never mentioned her hair. Nor her body in any way that wasn't calling it beautiful.

Why did she even care? Her date hadn't expressed anything about her appearance and yet...

And yet she found herself under pressure. She had standards. She needed to meet them and prayed she'd done enough to not disgust Zaira.

She sighed and walked back, a pleasant smile on her face. "Oh! Is that the bill?"

 

“All paid. You ready to go?” Apparently Zaira hadn’t been the only one to neaten herself up. Excitement boiled in her belly. It was so rare to find someone she could do this with – she only hoped Aurora wouldn’t wimp out later on.

 

"Oh, would you like me to pay you back at all?" Aurora asked, grabbing her jacket. "I'm all set."

 

“Oh, please don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’re doing well, but I probably still earn significantly more than you. Shall we?” She slid out of her seat and held her hand out for Aurora. “We could take a taxi, or we could walk. It’s not very far.”

 

"I'm quite tipsy," Aurora gently took that hand, cheeks indeed rosy. "Maybe a taxi would be a good idea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have an insert for this chapter, which we will publish tomorrow!


	64. Act V - Chapter XXIX: Forgiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're very sorry for our hiatus, but we're back now! We were moving house (moving in together!) so were very busy last week.
> 
> We hope you didn't miss us too much - if anything like this happens, we will always be posting updates on our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: recreational drug use.

 

Pearl found herself walking down a dark street, far closer to the metropolitan districts of the city than she ever truly dared to go at this hour. She'd been texted a cryptic address; illegal raves around the area typically worked as such.

She hoped that the heat wasn't too bad tonight. The last thing she needed was to be chased around by the police after her grounding.

 

 

Ruby and her friends were picking up Amethyst, so she had no idea where they were going until they were there.

Pearl was already there. As soon as the car stopped, Amethyst jumped out.

“Yo, P!”

She wasn’t quite sure how to approach her. Not after… everything.

 

"Amethyst!" Pearl tried to smile. "...Hey."

 

“Hey,” Amy said. “You, uh. Look cute.”

 

 

"Thanks! Oh. This is just my... sneaking out outfit. I don't even know if it really works. Guess we'll find out if I make it home safe."

 

Amy frowned. “Wait, are you actually grounded? Are your parents, like, aware that you’re an adult?”

 

Pearl's face visibly looked more than uncomfortable. "I, uh. Was going to tell you. Whatever Rori and Blue did really set them off. It's been rough."

 

Amethyst’s frown deepened. “Fuuck,” she said. “Dude, I know things are weird with you and Rori just now but if you need to crash you can probably come to ours. God knows Rori is better than abusive parents any day. I should know.” She pulled Pearl into a hug.

 

Pearl didn't pull away, but she didn't look sure either. "I still need... some more time to think about things between me and Rori. I'm still... working through it and the last thing I want to do..." She struggled, fists clenching. "Is hurt her more. It's fine. Let's just go and drink."

 

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Pearl!” Ruby bounced over. “Good to see ya! How’re you?”

“Oh, yeah,” Amy said, “these are Ruby’s friends from uni, I don’t know if you’ve met them? Uh. This is Jay, that’s XL, she’s, uh… I don’t really remember all the names yet.” She blushed.

 

"Psch, you'll get there." A larger girl poked at Amy, and punched at Ruby's shoulder. "Gonna go get the party started."

Ruby nodded. "Yeah, I have hard that you two need some time to talk about shit so... Bye."

 

Amethyst grimaced, once again taken aback by Ruby’s bluntness. “See you around!” she said, waving to Ruby and her friends.

Then turned to Pearl. “Uh.”

She wasn’t quite sure how to bring up the fact that she’d seen Quartz mere hours before.

 

Pearl wasn't going to let herself forget it, though.

"So. Where did you meet Ruby and Sapphire?"

 

Amethyst coughed. “Uh,” she said. “well, we all had a nice little get-together earlier. It was cool. Did you know Diamond suspended Quartz? Apparently _someone_ ratted her out.” She stared at Pearl.

 

"Oh no, what a shame," Pearl replied, monotone. "I have honestly nothing to say about it."

 

“Liar.” Amy stuck her hands into her pockets. “Why’d you do that? I mean, I’m not the biggest fan of Quartz, but man, Pearl. She doesn’t deserve this.”

 

"She was a danger. She was using me and she'd done it to others. I had to protect future people. Nothing I told Diamond was a lie or exaggeration."

 

“It was still a major dick move. Quartz was protecting you. You went into that relationship knowing that she wasn’t exactly clean, I mean, you’re her _student_ , but that didn’t matter when you still loved her, huh? Just saying.”

 

"I know it was a dick move. Maybe I'm a dick. Who cares? I was angry and needed to protect others from being hurt this way."

 

“Whatever.” Amy kicked a rock. “Let’s just go and try to have fun.”

 

"Yeah," Pearl replied, blushing. "Got weed?"

 

“Just a little. But there’s gonna be stuff available here.” Amy sighed. “I can roll with what I have, I guess.” Maybe it’d make her feel less awkward around Pearl.

 

Their entire exchange had made Pearl physically repulsed to the thought of living.

She needed something to forget.

"Even a small roll to get things started will do.”

 

“Okay.” Amethyst unceremoniously sat on the ground and took out her little case. She was well practiced at rolling now.

“Done,” she said a few minutes later.

 

"Well, you can light if you want. It's your honours." She passed her set of matches over.

 

“No need,” Amy said. “Got this one here.” She pulled out a windproof zippo lighter and lit her joint, taking a few drags before passing it over to Pearl.

“You wanna chill out here for a bit before we go inside?”

 

"Whoah, where did you get that bit of gear from?"

 

Amy grinned. "Rori gave it to me," she said. "Sweet, isn't it?"

 

Pearl frowned. "Oh. Hah. Yeah, it's cool."

 

Amy looked at her pointedly.

"Yeah, Rori can be really generous if you don't attack her at any opportunity," she said, keeping her voice flat.

 

Pearl balled her fists, frustrated. She'd... she'd tried. It was difficult. "And sell out? No, thanks."

 

"Don't be stupid. She's not _buying_ my love. You don't think I know what _that_ feels like?" Amy took the joint back, had a deep drag. "I'll need another one after this," she commented.

 

"We can go and buy some." Pearl sighed. "So. It's 'love' now?"

 

Amy rolled her eyes, not giving an answer.

 

"Listen. You can't just fuck me while dating my sister."

 

"I'm not. We're just friends. Can you maybe stop putting words into my mouth?"

 

"Maybe I wouldn't if you actually spoke about how you really feel for once."

 

Amy stood up. A cold, defiant look in her eyes. "What, and get told more about how much you love _Quartz_ and how you want to give _all of you_ to her? And how you don't want anyone else, especially not me, because you need me to be drunk or stoned to get any use out of me? Yeah, sure, I'll do just that."

 

"Look. I'm sorry I did that to you. I didn't understand that it would hurt you at the time. I can't help getting obsessed with people. It's a hubris. And I'm obsessed with how you feel about me too. If you want me to just leave... I can. I want to be your friend but if you're just never going to forgive me for not realising how you felt... then I'm sorry. I can't."

 

Amy still stared.

"I don't believe you," she said,  "I don't believe that you didn't know - I _slept_ with you. It was my first time and you _knew_ that it was, and I _told_ you I wouldn't do it with anyone else. How thick can you be? So, no, kind of, apology not accepted." She finished the joint. She still had more weed in her grinder, so she sat back down and started rolling again.

"Wanna share this one too?" she asked.

 

"Sure," Pearl replied, numb. "What the fuck do you want from me, Amy?"

 

Amy kept her head down. Rolled. Did not reply.

 

This had been a shitty idea. "How do you expect me to please you and make amends if you're so terrified of conflict?"

 

It stung. Amy still didn't respond.

She was done with her second joint. Barely feeling the effect of the first, so she'd packed this one tight.

"You can light it," she said, holding it out for Pearl. "Do you want my lighter?"

 

"Fine." Pearl took it and the lighter. "Oh. This one is pretty full."

 

"Yeah."

Amethyst didn't know what to say. Just watched Pearl now, like a cat.

What _did_ she want?

Amy had no idea.

 

Pearl passed the joint back, exhaling. "I need to lie down."

 

Amy didn't take it.

"I wanna shotgun," she said, her eyes still on Pearl. A challenge. For herself as much as Pearl.

 

Pearl coughed. "Are you... _serious_? After all... that?"

 

"Are you saying you don't want to?"

 

"Is it really what you want?"

 

"Yeah. Why would I be asking otherwise?"

 

Pearl drew a breath, exasperated. So. If this was what Amy wanted.

"Okay. But it has to be your hit."

 

“Fine.”

Amy took the joint. Took a deep hit, then pulled Pearl close and pressed her lips to Pearl’s. Exhaling slowly.

Her heart was beating far too quickly.

 

 

It felt surreal. Amy was mad with her. Amy had avoided her. Made her feel repulsive.

She took the hit. Kissing her back.

 

_Finally._

She still held the joint, but it seemed she’d forgotten all about it as she kissed Pearl, holding her close, tasting her lips. Her tongue dipped into Pearl’s mouth briefly before she pulled away.

Her cheels were dark, she was breathing fast.

“So, uh,” she said. “You wanna do that again?”

 

"Alright."

It felt like a whirlwind. Everything seemed upside down at once. She kissed Amy quickly for good measure.

Relieved.

 

Amy kissed her back, then took another hit. Feeling herself go dizzy.

She shared it again. Kissing Pearl heatedly in the process.

 

This pattern of supposed sharing carried on until after the joint was over, and then for another ten minutes. Pearl was flushed, her shirt riding up. Back a little slick. She finally withdrew. "I'm still so sorry."

 

Amethyst’s hands had strayed underneath Pearl’s shirt, touching a little, but not exactly sure how far to go.

“It’s okay.” She kissed Pearl again. “Mostly because I’m high and you’re hot. You know I was planning to ask you out, yeah? Had my entire speech ready. And then you come in and don’t even give me a hug and go ranting on about how Quartz broke your heart and how you don’t want anyone else.” She looked away, trying to hide her tears.

 

"I'm sorry. I should've realised. I really... only recently had enough time to think and try and remember that phone call. The night you sent me those pretty pictures of you," Pearl replied. "I was blackout drunk and hungover on Monday. I didn't... remember anything. I didn't want to. And it made me forget about... anything but my own stupid feelings. I'm sorry."

 

Amy's shoulders slumped. She leaned in to Pearl.

"You should be. I don't wanna ask you out anymore." She clenched her teeth. "I don't wanna be your girlfriend. But. I... I like making out with you when I'm high and touching you and fucking you and I'm an asshole because I want to keep doing that. Maybe I should've just stayed home."

 

"Maybe we just... should keep doing that."

 

Amy huffed. “You shouldn’t be this okay with that.”

 

"Why not?"

 

“Because it’s cruel,” Amy said, harsh. “It’s what M-“ She stopped herself. Pearl still didn’t know about Aurora and the Principal. “It’s what assholes do.”

 

"God forbid you enjoy sex with a bit of social lubricant." Pearl rolled her eyes. "You don't want to date me. I get it. We don't need a label. We could just be buddies that fuck because fucking is fun and God knows we're not going to risk pregnancy. So what if we're a bit stoned in the meantime?"

 

“If you say so.”

It was, apparently, all it took to convince Amethyst. She pushed Pearl back and rolled half on top of her, kissing her again.

“Rori’s got a date tonight,” she mumbled against Pearl’s lips. “Depending on how it goes you might be able to come home with me.”

 

Pearl giggled, putting her hands over Amy's, encouraging. "You can fool around. No one is gonna mind. I haven't been to Rori's pad since... before the accident. I. Used to sleep over in the spare bedroom on weekends last year."

 

“That’s my room now,” Amethyst said, hiding her face in Pearl’s neck and giggling. “You can still sleep over, if you want. Ya know, once you and Rori actually talk to each other again.”

She slipped her hands under Pearl’s shirt again, feeling the smooth skin of Pearl’s belly.

 

Pearl let herself be touched. Responding to Amethyst's touches with little kisses. "Maybe."

 

“We could head inside,” Amethyst said. “Dance like crazies and make out. Wouldn’t mind some loud music with my makeouts.”

 

Pearl smiled at that. "Sure."

 

 

 

 


	65. Act V - Chapter XXX: Meat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: violence, abuse, discussions of ableism.

Lapis, Peridot and Jasper had left together, and were lounging at the apartment by the time evening rolled around. Peridot's makeshift bed had been constructed on the sofa, and Lapis was ordering pizza on the laptop.

"Let's order sides first. There's a deal on them."

 

“No chicken for me,” Jasper announced. Lapis knew, of course she did. “What else do they have?”

She was on the sofa, cuddled up with Peridot. Lapis had been avoiding touches all day, and would be for a few more, so Peri came to Jasper.

 

"I want the garlic bread." Peridot concluded, taking a second away from nuzzling into Jasper. "And an apple capri sun."

"Done and done." Lapis nodded. She looked a little flustered, wrapped up in a tight turtleneck despite the warmth.

"They've got the garlic bread and salad and... mozzarella sticks, Jasper."

 

“Mozzarella sticks sound fine,” Jasper said. “Do you know how long it’ll take?”

She was hungry, and hungry Jasper wasn’t happy Jasper.

 

"We need to get pizza, too," Lapis replied, adding an order of mozzarella sticks for herself as well.

 

“Hm.” Jasper frowned. Sitting up and shifting away from Peridot a little bit. “You know what I like. What do you want, Peri?”

 

"I like pineapple."

Lapis physically convulsed. "No!"

 

“She can have her own separate pizza,” Jasper said impatiently. “We don’t need to turn this into a huge discussion over pineapple on pizza.”

 

"Geeze. And here I was hoping for a heated half hour.  Me and Jasper like it spicy. How about you?"

"None, thank you." Peridot looked a little nervous. An odd sense of foreboding in her belly. Something felt tense, even when they'd been at Rose's.

 

Jasper breathed. Tried to keep calm.

“Very spicy,” she said. “So, Hawaiian for you? Or...?”        

 

"Yes! But, uh, no cheese."

 

"Pizza... with no cheese?" Lapis asked, quirking her brow. "You're not lactose intolerant. You had a milkshake at that diner we went to."

"Mint and chocolate chip. It was an experience." Peridot nodded. "I just dunno. I don't like cheese."

 

"Well, they have the option to remove the cheese, don't they?" Jasper asked. Her fingers drumming on the side of the sofa.

 

"Though... I guess I could experiment."

 

"It's up to you." Lapis spied Jasper. She wouldn't do anything. Not while Peridot was around.

 

Jasper sighed. Balled her fists. Forced herself to take a deep breath.

"I'm starting to feel like I should order my pizza separately from you," she said between clenched teeth.

 

"Jasper. Chill out," Lapis snapped back. "This will take less than a few minutes."

 

"I'm _hungry_ ," Jasper snapped. "And you're making things complicated."

 

She was met with Lapis' hard look. "It's two minutes, Jasper."

 

"It's alright. I'll just go with the cheese," Peridot finally sighed.

 

"Just get on with it, then." Jasper leaned back, curled up and dug her hands into her hair.

 

 

"Alright. Half an hour." Lapis closed her laptop.  "They usually call when they're down there."

 

Jasper didn't answer. Nails digging into her scalp as she held her breath, trying to calm down.

 

That didn't look good.  Lapis handed her phone to Peridot. "Hey, the app has a tracker. You can keep an eye on it."

"Oh, cool!"

Lapis then carefully paced to Jasper. "Hey. Everything okay?"

 

That shattered Jasper's resolve.

She reached out, grabbed Lapis's arm with enough force to _really_ hurt.

"You couldn't have done all that a bit faster, could you?" she snarled.

 

Lapis was barely able to bite back her yelp of pain. "Jesus." She hissed under her breath, trying to regain control of her arm. "What are you doing. It's on its way."

 

"Well, _no thanks_ to you," Jasper hissed, twisting her arm. "You know how much this _shitty_ meeting took out of me, the least you could do-"

She stopped, suddenly remembering that Peridot was there.

 

Peridot looked at them with a little horror on her face. "What's going on? Jasper, let her go."

 

Jasper turned.

Glared at Peridot for half a second before releasing Lapis like she’d been burned. She stomped away and slammed the door shut behind her.

 

The second it shut, Peridot was on her feet. "Lapis, are you okay?"

 

Lapis was cradling her arm, which was already starting to form a large bruise.

“Y-yeah, I think,” she said, keeping the pain off her face. “It – it – don’t worry about that, Peri, it’s okay.”

 

Peridot frowned. "Are you sure? She... hurt you. Your arm. You didn't even... you didn't do anything to provoke her. Not that you deserved to be hurt anyway. Can you move it?"

 

“Yeah, look.” She stretched it out, moved her fingers. Bit back a hiss of pain. “Everything’s fine, don’t worry.”

She’d rather not get into _why_ this had just happened.

 

And yet, Peridot was determined to find out.

"Why? Why did she do this?"

 

Lapis sighed.

“Can we maybe talk about something else? Just... just forget it happened, please.”

 

"Should I call some medical services. That bruise doesn't look good."

 

“It’s _fine_!” Lapis snapped, immediately recoiling. She grimaced. “Sorry... no, no, it’s okay, really. This just. Uh. Happens.”

 

"This shouldn't happen! I'll... I'll go talk to her. Get something cold on that, okay?"

 

“No! No, don’t, she’s gonna –“ Lapis reached out with her good arm and held Peridot back. “You should stay away. From her... from me. Both of us, we’re... too unhealthy for you.”

 

Peridot paused.

 

"You're both my friends. You're both hurt. I can help you. I'm gonna." She padded to the fridge and returned with a carton of juice. "Here. See how that feels. I'll be back in a few minutes."

 

“She’s going to hurt you,” Lapis whispered, but let Peridot go. She placed the juice on her arm and collapsed on the sofa.

Jasper had retreated to the bedroom, where she was digging her nails into her head, arms, thighs. Hoping that Lapis and Peridot had the good sense to stay away until she’d ridden this out.

 

Peridot knocked on the door. "Jasper?" she said, quiet. It was just then that her belly wrenched with apprehension. Jasper had a few feet of height on her.

It didn't, however, guarantee she'd be any more dangerous than Lapis.

She balled her fists. If she could stand up to Lapis, she could do this. "I won't come in if you don't wanna. But I'm not going to leave you alone until I know you're safe."

 

 

“Go away,” Jasper snarled. Sharp fingernails against skin. She was still angry. So, so angry.

 

Peridot heard the scraping. "Why?"

 

“Leave me _alone_ ,” Jasper hissed. “Just go away. Go away. Go away.”

 

Peridot backed away. "I'll go if you promise you won't hurt yourself more. I can't leave you when you're a danger to yourself. I've gotta call the cops, then."

 

"I have to. Go away before I hurt you too. And don't call anyone." The words came out hasty, pained. Jasper couldn't stop. She couldn't.

 

"I am not afraid of you hurting me." Peridot then paused. "I am. But I'm not leaving if that's why you want me to go."

 

Silence from behind the door.

Then, suddenly, it opened. Jasper stood behind it. She was not happy.

"Go _away_ ," she hissed.

 

Peridot swallowed, looking up.

Terrified.

"Please don't hurt me. I don't want to hurt you. I just want to help you..." She then cleared her throat. "But if you do want to hurt me. I know karate."

 

"Karate, huh."

Jasper reached out and grabbed Peridot by the arm. Dragged her back to the living room and shot a look at Lapis.

"Leave me _alone_ ", she hissed, "both of you."

 

"It's primarily for self defence!" Peridot yowled as she was brought in. "How long do you want us to leave you?"

 

"As long as it takes. Lapis, keep her away from me."

Jasper all but threw Peridot down before retreating back into the bedroom again.

 

Lapis looked up.

"Did she hurt you?" she asked softly.

 

"Nah." Peridot replied, dusting herself off. She threw Lapis a purse from her pocket. "You know where I live. If things get bad, you can stay in my room. I'm going back."

 

"Peridot..."

Lapis's heart sped up at the prospect of facing Jasper on her own.

She nodded regardless. "You'll be safer," she said, reluctantly.

 

"No. As in. I'm not going back home. I'm going to stay near her."

 

Lapis got up and pulled Peridot into a hug.

"Don't, please," she said. "I know you're trying to help, but you can't stop her from hurting herself. The only thing you're going to accomplish is her getting angry at you for disturbing her. It could end badly for you. Stay here, please."

 

"I'm not going to let her know I'm around. I just want to stay around and be able to call someone if things go bad."

 

"Stay here. She'll be okay. Or... maybe you should go home. I don't want you anywhere near her."

 

"If I'm going home, I'm taking you with me."

 

"No. No way."

 

"Why?"

 

"Jasper needs someone here when she comes down. But not you. I don't mind being hurt but - not you."

 

"This... this is such... bullshit!" Peridot finally snapped. "Don't be all self sacrificial! Your safety matters just as much as mine. So does Jasper's. Have you guys even tried to go to theraphy together?"

 

Lapis snorted. "Right, therapy. So they can look all serious and threaten to call the cops once Jasper admits she can be physically abusive. No thanks. You know this hasn't happened in months, at least not until yesterday, and she's only starting again cus you told me I was the one being abusive."

 

Peridot looked at her for a hard moment, upset coloring her face.

She then began to laugh.

 

Lapis glared at her.

"What's so funny?" she demanded.

 

Peridot laughed until her laughter grew sad. Tears swelling in the bottom of her eyes. "My stars, you're just so... Incorrect, Lapis. Are you two really so self centered that you think you're the only couple that's ever gone through this? You haven't even tried? Lapis, I can only be a friend or a partner or whatever to you two. I can't fix anything like a professional can. But I'm not just going to watch you two ruin yourselves more over this."

 

Lapis was silent for a few seconds.

"We've tried, you know," she said, her voice harsh, "and it was over as soon as any of this was ever mentioned. You can't get this out of her, she's been doing anger management for years, the only way of stopping her doing this is by making her more scared of me than I am of her."

 

"You were abusing her, Lapis. I don't know why she's acting this way. I don't know why she hurt you and you don't deserve it but abusing her into submission isn't the answer. It can't be."

 

"Well, I'm open to other suggestions," Lapis said sharply, "maybe ones that don't involve useless therapy or either of us going to jail or us breaking up."

 

"You won't go to jail. Listen. There's a bunch of kinds of therapeutic treatments out there. I know, okay? Because... because all my childhood I've bounced from one doctor to another while they tried to find out what the everloving hell was wrong with me and why I was so weird and why I just... let myself be bullied. Why I couldn't dress myself right or eat stuff that wasn't the right colour and why stuff like this..." She indicated to Jasper's room, "Would make me shut down for a week. Everyone told me I was... I was 'special'. That I was..." She winced.

Peridot curled her fists. She could say it. "That I was some kind of _'retard'_. But because I was functional, it was beyond help. I went from med to med to med and then... and then when I grew hopeless because my dad couldn't deal with it and left and because I was just so sick and tired of just being a burden on the handful of people that could tolerate how cringy I was... I wanted to die.  I've been there too, Lapis. And... and then it happened. And somehow, after all those tries we found a doctor who was very adamant I was on the spectrum, and... maybe your issue here isn't Aspergers syndrome but everything can be fixed. If... if I can make friends and get better at dealing with something that's never going to go away... you guys can, too. And I'm not going to let you throw it away anymore. You don't need to live this way."

She clasped Lapis' hand, shaking. "You don't need to suffer until you just... die."

 

Lapis sighed.

"I would like you to tell me all about that after living with Jasper for two years," she said harshly.

 

Peridot looked at her, a little fire in her tear stained eyes. "That's the spirit! I'll stay here for two years and then we can reannact this. If it'll help you get there."

 

"Jesus Christ, no, that's not what I meant," Lapis said, "you should probably be staying very far away from this. Anyway, this flat is way too small for three people".

 

"Well. You can break up with me when you're both calm and ready to tell me to leave. In the meantime, you're my friend and you're in danger, and so is she. And I'm not leaving unless I can call someone else to make sure you're both safe."

 

This actually provoked a smile.

A very tired one, but a smile nonetheless.

 

"You're mental," Lapis said. "Fine, you can stay. But leave Jasper be. She'll be okay, she'll come out on her own terms."

 

"Should we do anything to distract you?"

 

"Who says I need a distraction?"

 

"Well. We both do. We're focusing really hard on something negative and that's exhausting."

 

"Okay, if you say so." Lapis shrugged. "Normal afternoon for me, really."

She was lying, and she figured Peridot would be able to tell.

 

"Alright then, tough stuff." Peridot glanced at the bruise. Normal, indeed. "We could watch something... or maybe play with malachite?"

 

Lapis shot a look at the tank, where the lizard lay curled up, sleeping.

"Best not to disturb her just now," she said. "She'll be out and about later when she gets her dinner, but not just now."

 

"Oh, okay." Peridot frowned. "What do you want to do?"

 

“I dunno. Nothing in particular.” Lapis pulled her knees up to her chin. “This is all my fault.”

 

"If it is, it's me and Jasper's faults, too. Don't beat yourself up, Lapis."

 

“It’s very hard not to, considering I could’ve prevented all this,” Lapis said harshly.

 

"So could I. I take it that me taking too long to choose set her off."

 

“No. Well, I mean, I guess, but you didn’t know. It’s… a bunch of things all coming together.” Lapis sighed. Might as well come clean. “Her and Quartz have history, which makes any of their interactions… well. You saw her. And she’s already on edge because we sort of had an. Uh. Incident. Before.”

 

Peridot blinked. "What sort of incident?"

 

Lapis grimaced. “She hurt me,” she said, “I wanted her to, but when she went too far and I told her to stop she… didn’t.”

 

Peridot looked at her, fear suddenly in her eyes. "How did she... hurt you?"

 

“Do you have to know?” Lapis looked away.

 

"I want to know if you're safe and okay."

 

Lapis sighed.

“She cropped me and choked me,” she said softly. “Which is normal, for us, she just… didn’t stop when I needed her to. I don’t remember much.”

 

"Oh. I'm sorry. Did you guys... have you been safe? Until now? You know you can crash at mine when Jasper is better... if you want."

 

“Yes, we have safewords and it’s not usually a problem,” Lapis said. “And… I appreciate the offer, but I’m staying with her.” Jasper would need her later.

 

"Alright. Am I making things worse by just being here right now?"

 

“No, it’s okay.” Lapis didn’t really want to think about what would happen if Peridot wasn’t here.

She looked up as she heard the bedroom door being opened.

 

"Okay. I guess I'll. Just stay put."

 

“That’s probably a good idea,” Lapis said, getting up.

“Jasper?” she called.

Jasper audibly hesitated before giving a non-committal grunt and coming into the living room. Her arms and legs scratched up, her fingernails coated with blood.

“What.”

 

Peridot stayed silent for a second before whispering, wide eyed. "Is she okay?"

 

Jasper turned to stare at Peridot.

“You know you could just talk to _me_ , right?”          

 

"You dragged me in here. Sorry."

 

Jasper’s expression darkened.

“I told you to _leave_ ,” she snarled. Her fists clenched.

Lapis shot up, put herself between Jasper and Peridot.

 

Peridot looked away. "I'll go. Lapis, please, come with me. I can't leave you."

 

“No.”

Lapis was facing Jasper. Jasper was frozen, breathing heavily.

“Jasper, I’m not leaving you. But you need to calm down.”

 

"I can't leave you both just... alone. It's not safe."

 

“You don’t need to,” Lapis said. “Jasper’s going to calm down, aren’t you, Jasper? She’s not going to do anything else.”

Jasper snarled. Lapis instinctively shied away from her, still covering Peridot.

“You said it wouldn’t happen again,” Jasper spat. “You said so just today. You were _wrong_ and you’re wrong about this! Maybe I won’t calm down! Maybe I’ll hurt you more! You should just leave and go with Peridot. Just leave me. Just leave.”

 

Peridot shuddered. Feverish. Scared. "What are you gonna do while we're gone?"

 

“Hurt someone who deserves it.”

Jasper looked down at her own blood-caked nails.

 

Peridot swallowed. She could call an ambulance once she was out. "Lapis. Please."

 

“Just leave me. I don’t deserve either of you.”

Jasper’s voice was hushed. Barely audible.

 

"What do we do? I love her I can't just leave her in danger what if she hurts herself really bad I love her I can't just-" Peridot looked to the floor and stopped mumbling.

 

Jasper stood perfectly still, fists still clenched.

A moment of uncomfortable silence hung, which was then interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

 

"You two." Lapis finally snapped. "Come after me. Act natural. Jasper just needs her food, she's hungry."

Peridot cautiously looked at Jasper and then followed Lapis, now searching for a few notes in her pocket.

 

Jasper breathed heavily. Then, reluctantly, followed Lapis and Peridot, her expression stony.

 

Lapis carefully opened the door. "Ugh, back up, Peridot. We're going to look like some form of cult if we all greet the pizza man. Jasper, you're gonna help me carry, okay?"

 

"Fine." Jasper took another deep breath, tried to unclench her fists as she followed Lapis out the door.

 

Peridot lagged behind to watch as she opened the door.

"Hey, sorry about the wait." Lapis could feel Jasper looming over, behind her. Over her back. She took a sharp inhale as a flashback crawled through her mind. "Was it thirty... Thirty, uh, five?"

 

The girl delivering the pizza smiled at the brightly. "Thirty-four twenty," she said cheerfully before handing over the pizza.

Jasper reached out from behind Lapis to grab the pizza. While Lapis paid, she turned on her heel and went back into the flat.

 

Lapis pursed her lips at this before forcing a smile. "Thanks! You know what, here's a forty. Change is tip."

 

"Hey, thanks! That's so generous of you." Kiki grinned and pocketed the change. "Well, enjoy your pizza! And give the big girl a hug, she looks like she needs it." And with that, she was off.

 

Lapis closed the door, her smile fading fast. "When I say 'act natural', guys..."

"We were under pressure!"

 

Jasper had laid out the pizza in the living room and was already eating. Her mood improving vastly with every bite.

With her lighter mood came an intense feeling of guilt. She'd attacked Lapis. Attacked Peridot.

Again.

 

Peridot slumped on the adjacent couch. Face pale.

 

"I'll go get us plates... or should I not bother?"

 

"Don't worry about it."

Jasper swallowed a large bite and closed her eyes.

"Sorry," she said softly.

 

"Well, you should be." Lapis stuck out her tongue. Pretending things were playful. Things were okay. "Peridot, why don't you have some?"

"M'not hungry," Peridot mumbled, hugging her knees.

 

Jasper let her hair fall over her eyes.

Not wanting to face the reality. That she'd fucked up again, that she'd hurt Lapis and Peridot.

"Maybe I should leave." Her voice was barely audible.

 

"Peridot. You haven't eaten all day. Get something in you." Lapis replied, her voice losing it's angry edge. She took an inhale. This didn't have to make her angry. She could be nice. No one needed to be hurt further.

She could be nice. She would be. "Jasper, it'll be okay. Just... Eat. You'll both feel better."

 

Jasper obliged. No questions asked. She was tempted to take the pizza into the bedroom and escape this horrible tension.

But no. This was all her fault. She needed to sit it out.

 

Peridot didn't touch her food. Lapis picked up a slice and passed it over. "Hey! Look. It's the one you ordered, huh? It looks like the best one."

"Don't infantilise me," Peridot murmured. "I'll get over it. I'm just not hungry right now."

Lapis' shoulders slumped. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I appreciate you trying." Peridot sighed with a grateful look.

 

Jasper watched the exchange.

"Peridot..."

It was hard to know what to say. Jasper swallowed heavily.

"I... I shouldn't have yelled or hurt you or... all of this is my fault. I fucked up, again, and I hurt you. If... if you don't wanna be with me anymore I'd understand."

 

"Are you actually going to stop?" Peridot voice wasn't aggressive. It begged for affection. Her tone starved itself on the concept of the tension returning to the mundane. "I... didn't really believe you or Lapis. When it was brought up that you hurt people."

"Come on, guys, maybe not now," Lapis begged. Scared.

 

Jasper hung her head.

"Yeah, maybe not now." She curled in on herself, hugging her knees. "Sorry."

 

Peridot watched her. No. She couldn't just... if Lapis had been aggressive to her, done the same, would she, too have been scared? Was she more afraid because of their differing physique? But surely it was wrong to assume so. They both had equal capacity to hurt. Lapis even more so.

Peridot turned away.

Was this... was this even safe? She'd wanted to help. To fix find. To be a shining beacon of some kind of hope.

"Well, well, well." Lapis' voice suddenly cracked. Bitter. There was no point in pretending. "Looks like the neurotypical finally figured out she can't love us to health. Go on, Peridot. You can go and we can forget that all this ever happened. We can survive. We'll only ruin you."

Peridot looked at her for a hard moment. "I'm not neurotypical."

"Oh yeah."

"I'm not just leaving, either."

 

Jasper listened, and eventually raised her head up.

"Do you want to stay over, Peridot?" she said, her voice soft. "We won't be mad if you don't, but the offer is still there."

 

"I don't want to cause any more trouble. I don't want to just leave, either. I don't... I don't want to give up. I love both of you."

 

Jasper sighed heavily, then got up.

"I'm going to bed," she said, "feel free to join me if you want."

 

"Are you going to sleep?" Peridot asked, watching her leave.

"Yeah." Lapis rolled her eyes. "Something like that. You beat your meat quietly, you hear? We've got a guest."

Peridot now blushed. "Oh."

 

"No, I'll actually sleep," Jasper cut in. "I'm not really up for anything else. You can both join me if you want. I dunno. Beat each other's meat, or whatever."

 

"I don't think I want any meat."

"Me neither." Lapis quirked a brow. "Go and get some rest. Might join you later."

 


	66. Act V - Chapter XXXI: Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings for this chapter! Enjoy :)

Zaira was an early riser, Aurora found out belatedly, and she didn't expect Aurora to stay for breakfast.

Which meant that now, at only 8:30 in the morning, Aurora was on her way home.

She didn't quite know what she'd find there; Amethyst had drunkenly texted her that she was home safe at about 4am, but had given no details as to how the night had gone. Aurora was prepared for anything.

Almost anything.

She was careful to be quiet as she entered the flat.

 

 

Pearl, once again, awoke in Amy's arms. A set of sore bites marked her again.

This time, she found herself facing the spooning Amethyst, her shallow breaths swaying Pearl's hair. Her face fell.

What was she even doing? What was this? Her pouring emotional cement into the hole Rose had left?

Amethyst looked so at peace. Pearl's fingers gently touched her hair. Dry, bleached. She wondered why Amethyst was determined to keep it dead.

Without thinking, she pressed her lips atop of Amy's forehead before nearly jumping as the door opened.

Oh.

This was Aurora's flat.

 

Aurora closed the door behind her and took off her shoes. Her eyes fell onto a pair of shoes she recognised.

_Pearl._

Amethyst must have brought her. Aurora's chest tightened.

A tiny sigh escaped her before she put down her bag and went into her room to change out of her walk-of-shame outfit into comfortable pyjamas.

The bed looked tempting. She considered it for half a second before going into the kitchen and starting to make coffee and breakfast.

She'd leave some out for Pearl and Amethyst.

 

Pearl gently tugged herself away from those arms. Amethyst, it seemed, had developed the habit of latching onto her. Pearl looked over the room. It was bigger than Amy's old one. And better lit. She even seemed to have new clothes and a vanity in the corner.

She recognised the cosmetics. Amethyst wore barely any. It was Aurora's. She did the math.

Aurora was generous. And somehow, she was generous in not only the material but... Caring. Regardless of cost, or burden or hospital bills or...

Pearl traced her fingers over her face and found herself coming upon the realisation that if her face had been on the receiving end of such an assault, it would have been the figurative end of her world.

She didn't know Amethyst well enough to know whether or not she'd forgive her. Nor whether or not apologising to Aurora would fix anything.

But she knew her sister well enough to know that Aurora deserved an apology. For everything.

She finally ambled out of bed and creaked into the corridor. Aurora hated carpets, it seemed, as the creaks on the wooden floor only served to rile her anxiety. Perhaps it may have been a better idea to write a note, or text, or email or-

Pearl stepped into the kitchen and made immediate eye contact. "Oh. Hey."

 

 

Aurora had heard the creaky floor.

She recognised Pearl's steps, even now. She hadn't expected Pearl to come into the kitchen.

She turned to her, a slight frown on her face. "Good morning," she said. "Coffee?"

 

"If it's already getting there. You know how much I enjoy the cafe press." Pearl attempted at a feeble look of... anything that didn't display her anxiety. "I can, um. Leave. Through the window, if you really want me to."

 

The anxiety was mutual. Aurora was a little more practiced at not letting it show, though.

"Are mom and dad expecting you back?"

It wasn't all she was asking, and she knew Pearl would understand.

 

"They don't know I'm gone. I'm, um, grounded. Things haven't been that great back there since... whatever Blue did." Pearl then sighed, leaning by the counter. "Or maybe it's just me being a bad kid and blaming her. Who knows. Listen. Now that you don't have to burden yourself with the task of controlling my meltdown in the school bathrooms... could we maybe try and just talk?"

 

The coffee was done.

"Do you still take it like you used to?" Aurora asked, then turned around.

_Well, this isn't exactly how I wanted things to go._

"You can sit down in the dining room, I'll join you in a sec."

And she did, bringing through the coffee. Breakfast would have to wait until later. She sat down opposite Pearl.

"Grounded, huh? I guess they still have no idea how to parent. For the record, Pearl, you're an adult, and they're not legally allowed to keep you from doing the things you want to do."

 

"Which is why I'm here. But... Rori, have you talked to them recently at all? They must've lost control of you two because they're keeping me on a leash here. Except they've never had me on a leash... they've never even cared about me until now." Pearl took a sip and closed her eyes. Yes. Good. "Either way. Look. I just... I still don't know how I feel about things. And apparently that's okay. But I never apologised properly. Or did anything to make your life easier, despite the fact that you were trying to save mine. You probably... don't really want to hear it, so I'll keep it brief if you want me to go soon."

She couldn't really meet her sister’s eyes. "After my accident, I gained a lot of weight and when mom and dad took me back, they wouldn't stop talking about it. I'm not trying to make excuses but... it just spiralled. And... suddenly I just needed to become the skinniest. And, a-and... that's not important, I'm not apologising for having an eating disorder or whatever but... it took me a long time to realise that all you ever wanted to do was just make sure I was alive. And it took me even longer to stop being stubborn enough to realise that... what I did to you was not okay. I hurt you. I hurt your face. And I don't know if... it's ever going to be the same and you don't have to forgive me. I really hope you never fucking do, Aurora."

She had finished her first cup by the time she stood up. "Just... wanted you to know you were right. And the reason I'm probably still here. And why Amy is doing okay. So... you were right. And I'm sorry. I'll... I'll go."

 

"No, don't."

Aurora swallowed, blinking rapidly.

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you like,” she said, her voice slightly coarse. She wanted to hug Pearl, wanted to tell her...

“I guess I... owe you an explanation as well,” she said softly. She’d always avoided this. “For why I wasn’t... there over the summer.”

 

Pearl let the conversation pause as she studied Aurora’s face. She was suddenly all too able to feel that something wasn’t quite right about this. This was something... big.

“What... happened?”

 

Aurora swallowed again. Nervousness boiling in her belly. This wasn’t really how she’d wanted this to happen.

It was her turn now to avoid Pearl’s eyes.

“I had a partner,” she said, “and I told no-one because... because she...” She sighed, buried her head in her hands. “I’ve not told anyone but Blue... and Amy knows because...” God, this was all so complicated. “I guess I should start at the beginning.”

 

Pearl glanced at her with concern. “Hey, if it’s something that’s too hard to talk about, I really don’t mind not doing this now. God knows I’ve had to run away from conversations I haven’t felt ready for. It’s okay. You... you don’t owe me anything at all.”

 

Aurora sighed. “It _is_ a long story,” she said with a sigh, “so... maybe not now. I just wanted a coffee.” She shot Pearl a small grin. “Hell of a night.”

 

Pearl nodded. “That’s fair. I’ll get out of your hair in a bit. I’d like to at least say something to Amethyst before I go. Last time this happened... she just kind of left without saying anything. I’m worried... she’s embarrassed by me. Or that she just doesn’t... actually like me because she just keeps doing things and then shutting me out.” A nervous laugh. “Oh, sorry. Getting kind of personal. I’ll stop.”

 

“No, no, it’s... quite all right,” Aurora said, a little startled. “I think you should definitely talk to her. She’s been really quiet about what happened between you two, and it _is_ kind of worrying.” She sighed. “She does like you, though. I know that much.”

 

“Hah, well. She’s made it plenty clear she doesn’t want to date me anymore. It looks like she just wants... whatever this is. And I guess I kind of love her enough to supply that demand.”

 

Aurora twitched. That sounded dreadfully familiar.

“It’s not a situation you need to tolerate.” Her bitterness crept into her voice, she was sure.

 

“I won’t, then.” Pearl said, quiet. “Actually... she did get... really drunk last night. Like, _really_ drunk. She won’t wake up for a while. Might as well go.”

 

“You can stay,” Aurora offered immediately. “I’ll probably have something to eat and then pass out, I didn’t get much sleep. But you know where everything is. You should talk to her about this.” Hungover Amethyst would be very reluctant to talk about anything, but it was still worth a try.

 

“She chugged the punch bowl. Even Ruby didn’t know what the girls put into it. She’s going to be out like a log.”

 

Aurora sighed. “As you wish,” she conceded. “Do you want some breakfast before you leave?”

 

“If it’ll put your mind at ease.” Pearl smiled. “If anything... You were right. I can actually eat like a... slightly more functional person. Thanks.”

 

“Glad to hear it. Although you should know by now that I’m usually right.” Aurora smiled back. “Cooked, or just toast? Or cereal?”

 

“Cereal is the least effort. And I actually know your kitchen well enough to find it.”

 

“Go ahead then. I might actually have something later.” Aurora wasn’t particularly hungry, but very tired. “I’m going to sleep, I think,” she said, getting up.

 

“Okay. You should. Your eyebags have purses... and those purses have eyebags. I can’t wait to become a rich and successful engineer and have the money to pay for plastic surgery to unfuck your face.”

 

Aurora frowned, then laughed. “That’s literally the nicest thing you’ve said to me all year. C’mere.” She held out her arms.

 

“But no, really.” Pearl huddled herself into Aurora. “It wasn’t okay. What I did. I... don’t know what I can do to make anything better. I want to, though. I want to be okay again.”

 

Aurora held Pearl close.

“Have you been going to therapy after you got out?” she asked.

 

“No... too much going on, schoolwise. I kind of just stopped after they let me out since mom and dad never made me follow it up.”

 

“Well, you should follow it up. Go private if you need to, I’ll pay. I’ll go with you. That’s the thing you can do to make things better.”

 

“I guess. If it’s what it’ll really take.” Pearl sighed, and then nodded. “Okay. I’ll leave you be. Feel free to text me about therapy. Get some sleep, Aurora.”


	67. Act V - Chapter XXXII: Control

Pearl had attended therapy before. Numerous times over the past year alone. But she hadn’t been lying - after leaving the intensity of the clinic, she’d somehow managed to dodge the waiting list for counsellors.

This time, Aurora had sent her a list of psychologists with the simple caption, ‘pick one. Let me know by Tuesday’. Indeed, Pearl had complied. This was for health, and if not her own, then Aurora by all means deserved it. And Amy. Even Rose. All the people she’d hurt.

Nervous, she buzzed the reception bell. After a few seconds, the door clicked and she found herself in a well lit corridor that led to a small desk. What followed were the typical procedures Pearl had half expected - a questionnaire, her previous medical history form. After she finished, she found herself leafing through magazines before a soft voice uttered her name.

 

“Pearl? Pearl Morgan?”

 

Pearl looked up at the woman who was presumably going to be her therapist. She nodded and got up, putting on a smile. “Hi.”

 

 

“I’m Rhonda. Rhonda Knight.” The lady gave her a smile. “I’m going to be your Cognitive Behaviour Therapy coach. Follow me, okay?”

Rhonda wasn’t a particularly striking woman in terms of looks; but the warmth in her smile and tone was enough to beckon little hostility. Presumably in her late fifties, she wore a off-white shirt and ruby leggings. She kept about two paces forward, leading Pearl up a set of small stairs. “Funny that they’d assign us probably the most inconvenient room, but the view is worth it.”

 

Pearl followed Rhonda into the room, where her eyes went wide. “The view really is nice,” she said.

There were two chairs; Pearl sat down in the one she assumed was for her. Fidgeted. She didn’t quite know how to start.

 

“I’ll close the blinds for now, unless you’d rather me keep them open. I find that the view tends to distract me a little. Feel free to settle down or take anything from the table.” The room itself wasn’t particularly huge; a loft with cosy beanbag chairs in the corner, further from the two facing one another and a long wooden desk. The table she was referring to sat between the chairs, adorned with a tidy rainbow cloth, atop which sat a box of tissues and some digestive biscuits. Rhonda sat herself down on the other chair. “Would you like anything to drink?”

 

Pearl blushed and looked away. The homey atmosphere made her feel comfortable and uncomfortable all at once. “I think I’m okay,” she said softly. “Thanks.”

 

“The offer will be there all session, as well as any breaks you’d like to have. This is your space for the next hour, okay?” Rhonda seemed to watch her and adjusted herself a little, moving her hands to rest over her lap. “Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself?”

 

 

Ah, there it was. Pearl swallowed.

“Uh,” she said, “I’m Pearl, and I... used to be a dancer until an accident fucked up my knee and now I’m...” She grimaced. “Uh. I came out of the eating disorder clinic a few months ago. Was supposed to follow up with therapy but I never did. Until now.”

She sighed. What was she supposed to tell Rhonda? Her fuckups relationship-wise? Her eating disorder history? Her personality disorder?

“Uh, my sister is paying for this and she let me choose and you – you do CBT, don’t you? I don’t think I’ve had that before but from what I’ve read, it might actually help for once.”

 

Rhonda sat for a second and then nodded. “I do indeed, and it definetly sounds like there are some things I can help with. How much do you know about CBT?”

 

“Well, I’ve had some... breathing exercises before during therapy,” Pearl said, “and it was all really vague and not very helpful and really just... frustrating, I mean, I have a _personality disorder_ \- breathing exercises are not going to cut it. I – I read that intensive CBT is good for personality disorders and... yeah.”

 

“Ah, I see. I’m assuming you’ve seen a few therapists or counselling or mental health support services before and not been satisfied with your experience?”

 

Pearl laughed, bitterly. “A few, yes,” she said. “Counselling and clinic and... not very much inbetween. Being in the clinic was... it was awful, but it helped. I just haven’t kept up with things since I got out.”

 

 

“And at the eating disorder clinic - I assume they just focussed on getting you to have a healthier body image without tackling much of the behavioural issues. I see.” Rhonda nodded. “Well, thankfully I can introduce you to how we’re going to proceed with our sessions. One of the key components of this type of therapy is its very clear transparency. I will not keep things hidden or written away from you; and of course everything we say and do is utterly confidential unless I feel you are in immediate risk of hurting yourself or others.”

 

Pearl nodded. “Okay,” she said. “That’s... already better than what I’ve had before.” She’d never felt like she was actually... in control of her treatment. Always suspicious of the notes therapists were taking.

“So... how do we start?” she asked.

 

“I’m going to explain a little more, I hope you can bear with me on that. We’ll then talk a little bit about the various exercises and things we’re going to do; I’ll then set you a small assignment, and then you’ll be free from me for an entire week. How about that?”

 

“Sure,” Pearl said. She wasn’t actually quite so sure about those... assignments. The last time she’d gotten such assignments from therapists was when she’d been asked to ‘make a friend’.

Though she couldn’t really be too bitter about that. It had led to her meeting Amethyst.

She swallowed. Things had gotten so complicated since then.

 

Rhonda read the anxiety in her voice and offered a gentle look. “It’s alright, one of the great things about the route we’re going to take is that we do things that increase with difficulty and start off very gently. Let me give you a quick rundown of how it all works,”

She stopped briefly to fetch a whiteboard from the side of the room. “Alright. As you probably know, there are many thereapeutic approaches out there. Most people nowadays tend to offer cbt techniques as a part of counselling. But, way back before that, we had first wave theraphy. You probably have seen this in the movies, and it’s often what therapy is stereotyped to. You have the client, and the therapist attempts to tackle problems by focusing on the rooted issues you may have. Sound familiar?”

 

Pearl nodded, eyeing the whiteboard. “Yeah. Freud and all that. It doesn’t really help, though, does it.”

 

“Exactly! Research shows that this form of therapy is kind of a waste of time for many folks. It might not be for some, but there’s a reason you’re here. Now, CBT thankfully saves us from having to dig into trauma by using an approach that is basically the opposite. We focus on the now.” Rhonda took a blue marker and drew a little triangle. “Cognitive behavioural therapy, as the name suggests, looks at three things. These being cognitions, thoughts,” with that, she scribbled ‘thoughts’ just well enough  to be legible. “Behaviors, and feelings.”

 

Pearl nodded. “Okay.”

 

“Now, often, people feel that they can’t control how they feel. And that’s alright! The burden and gift of this triangle is that they are all...” She drew arrows all over the triangle, “Interconnected. An example would be this, having a negative thought leads a person to feel bad about themselves. Therefore, they see a change in behaviours, say, being too low to go to therapy or socialise with friends, and so they feel more alone and have more upset and hurtful thoughts. Relatable?”

 

Pearl nodded, grimacing again. “Very.”

 

“I thought so.” She gave a little nod, pleased. “So, what I’m going to do through the course of these sessions is to start building a toolkit to use to really go in and tackle some of those thoughts and to challenge how much they’re affecting you. By the end of these few sessions, you will hopefully walk out being your own CBT coach.”

 

Pearl frowned. “Is that really... how it’s supposed to work?” she asked. “I can barely remember to eat most days, how am I supposed to be my own coach in... anything?”

 

Rhonda blinked, and then paused before replying. “Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, while tailored to every client and person taking it, is a treatment that has seen success in people far less functional than you. Our aim isn’t to make you a perfect person, nor the most healthy or happy. It is to relieve you a litte of the pain you experience on a day to day basis, because it isn’t something you necessarily need to, or deserve to feel. I won’t throw you away or give up on you.” She settled back down. “There are a lot of techniques out there to help a person be less in pain and more functional and we are going to try and see what sticks and helps for you. I hope to make our relationship one of trust and comfort, enough so you trust me to guide you through this treatment.”

 

Pearl was a little taken aback.

/Trust and comfort, huh?/

“Sure,” she said.

 

“Right, so. We’ll be focusing on setting targets in the next few sessions, but first, we’re going to have you perform some self monitoring. Often, people with borderline personality suffer with a lack of awareness of self and don’t know who they really are. Do you sometimes feel this way?”

 

Pearl sighed. “Yeah,” she said. “What do you mean by self monitoring?”

 

“We’re going to set you to do a simple task- Mood journalling. It might sound like a little effort, but I have sheets with graphs already printed out. All I would like you to do is set an alarm on your phone a couple times a day and to try and turn your feelings into a number on the chart. Now, I know that it might feel a little difficult to do that sometimes- feelings can be complicated or hard to quantify, so there’s a box to make notes.”

Rhonda handed Pearl a piece of paper with the aforementioned graph. “In the instance that you lose it, you can also just make a quick grid on paper that just has a mood scale and a day on the bottom. Do you think you can handle that? Some people like to think of it like mental health homework.”

 

Pearl took the piece of paper. It looked very straight forward. “Yeah, I can do that,” she said. “How’s this going to help me?”

 

“It’ll start excercising you to be more aware of your feelings and cognitions, which is something we are going to be focusing on in terms of therapeutic help. Now, a pitfall for many people is to forget about setting an alarm and to just do this excercise on a whim when they’re feeling strong emotions. Now, this would be fine, but it reduces the amount of training to be aware of how you’re feeling at one particular moment. Some people might even struggle to really pinpoint how they’re feeling when they start, and that’s okay, too. But this is only going to work if you keep to it consistently and daily.”

 

“Okay.” Pearl frowned. “A few times a day, is it? What if I’m out, or asleep, or busy?”

 

"You can pick at what times- usually mealtimes are what a lot of people stick to. Would that help?"

 

Pearl hesitated, then nodded. “I’ve been trying to get into the rhythm of regular meals since getting out of the clinic. So that might work.”

 

"Excellent! As long as you don't forget to do it daily, it's a pretty forgiving and low maintenance exercise with a lot of data to yield. It'l help us see any patterns and connections between incidents and low points."

 

“Okay,” Pearl said. “Is that... all I have to do?”

 

"That's all in terms of out of session work. I do have a few more sheets to go through with you just now. These are mostly here to help introduce some concepts to you in terms of how to recognise and consolidate some thoughts, and a couple of questionnaires to fill in."

 

“Okay.” Pearl nodded and leaned back, facing Rhonda. “Hit me.”

 

She was met with a little grin. "Excellent. I appreciate your cooperation with this all, I know that it can feel overwhelming to have so much paper thrown at you at once."

 

“It’s... actually better than having to clear out your dirty laundry verbally immediately in the very first session,” Pearl said. “Unless you’re planning to get me to do that now anyway.”

 

"Not at all. I might ask you to maybe fill in a bio for an exercise later on, but it's no more strenuous  or invasive than what you'd fill in for an about me section on a blog." She gave a delicate laugh, "There's never going to be any pressure for that. We're going to focus on problems you want to relay to me. That's it."

 

Pearl rook a deep breath. “Okay,” she said.

What problems did she want to relay?

Amy? Rose? Aurora? Her dancing? Her unhealthy tendency to attach herself to older women?

It would come up later, she was sure.

 

"In case you're worried, we're going to do our best to focus on problems affecting you right now. Past issues may be brought up in case you and you alone feel ready to give me context. But that is up to you. You'll find, though, that with practise of the techniques CBT will teach you, that opening up may become easier and less embarassing."

 

Pearl was silent for a several long seconds.

She’d not been able to talk to an outsider about these things in... nearly a year. And so much had happened in that year.

She took a deep breath.

“Well... I’ve been having quite a lot of trouble with my relationships these past few months.”

 

 

 


	68. Act V - Chapter XXXIII: Attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hiatus! If you've been on our blog, you'll know that we've been busy settling in and preparing for kittens (our cat is having kittens! We're so excited!)
> 
> But we'll resume the weekly updates now! Enjoy!

 

Amethyst actually tried to be on time today.

“Tried” being the operative word. She only arrived five minutes late, though, which she counted as a success.

She’d had no word from Pearl since the party. When she’d woken up, Pearl had been gone.

Pearl was already there, so Amy trudged over to her.

“Can I sit next to you?” she asked.

 

"Sure. Do whatever you want." There was a little broken flatness in her tone. "Sorry. Rough morning at home. Oh. I should write that down. How are you, Amy?"

 

 

“I’m okay,” Amy said, looking at her hands. “Are you okay?”

 

Pearl found a small pale blue journal in her bag and leafed to the chart she'd stuck in with pritt stick. "Yeah. Just getting on top of a bunch of good deeds. I need to make up for a year of assholery."

 

Amy watched her for a long moment.

Then she asked, “What’s that?”, gesturing to the journal.

 

"Something I'm doing. It's... it's for Aurora." Pearl mumbled. "I've been a dick to her long enough. I'm getting better and... this is a thing for me to fix myself with."

 

“Ohh, like therapy. I get it.” Amy averted her eyes; it was private. “So you actually talked to Rori? She just told me you left before I woke up.”

 

"Yeah. I did. I figured it was time to say something. You know. Be proactive." Pearl scribbled in the journal. "How's it shaking at the pad anyway?"

 

“It’s okay. Not much different from usual. It’s nice. Hey... Rori probably told you but if you ever need to crash somewhere you can come over anytime, okay?”

 

"I'm on a tight leash right now." Pearl forced a smile. "But that's okay. It's probably karma."

 

 

“No, don’t say that. Nobody deserves shitty parents.” Amy looked down again. “Just tell them to fuck off and come hang at ours.”

 

The bell rang. "I'll do my best," Pearl sighed.

 

“What do we have first?” Amethyst asked, more out of habit than anything.

 

“Oh, we’ve got math-“

 

Pearl was interrupted by a gentle knock on the door. Aurora awkwardly stood outside before walking in. “Um, yes, Amy. I need you to come to Principal Marigold’s office.”

Pearl quirked a brow and nudged her. “What gives? You skiving early again?”

 

Amy paled.

“Shit, this must be about that one time I called her a cunt to her face,” she whispered to Pearl before getting up. “See ya later. If I live.”

 

Pearl watched her leave, aghast. “Oh, let... me know how it goes,” she murnured.

Aurora waited for Amy to join her outside. “This doesn’t sound good. Looks like she had getting back to you at the top of her agenda.”

 

Amy grimaced.

“She can’t, like, legally do anything to me, right?”

 

 

“Of course not. But I did warn you, she does have a lot of connections and she still is the headteacher of this place. Even if you don’t respect her, poking a bee nest is going to get you stung.”

 

Amy hung her head.

“Okay,” she said, “I guess I better go in. Pray for me, or whatever, tell Pearl I lo- I mean. I’ll see you later.”

 

“If it’s awful, let me know. I can mark you absent and give you my car keys, I’ve got a twenty note left in my glove compartment.” Aurora offered a smile. “Just... try and bear it. It can’t be too bad.”

 

“Okay.”

Amethyst sighed, hesitated for a long moment, then knocked on the Principal’s door. Straightened up. _I’m not scared of you, Maricunt._

 

“Come in,” came that steely voice. Aurora stepped away and sat down. She gave Amethyst one final look before switching her laptop on.

 

Amethyst opened the door and stomped in.

“You requested my presence, Principal?” she said in the most fake-posh tone she could muster.

 

Marigold stared at the display. “There will be none of that,” she said, swiping her arm and indicating to the chair in front of her. “Sit down, _Amethyst_.”

 

 

“None of what, exactly?” Amethyst said, flopping down and putting an innocent smile on.

 

“Kindly do not feign ignorance with me. I have brought you here to discuss your inproper conduct in prior to the holidays. Tell me, Amethyst, what do we spend our first homeroom hour every year doing?”

 

Amethyst pretended to think for a moment.

“Oh yeah, I know! The diaries, right? I always doodle in mine. Is that against the rules?”

 

“Not officially.” Marigold sniffed. “I don’t stifle creativity. What kind of monster do you think I am? It’s a shame you crass youth choose to defile them with... penises. I digress, now, one of the first things I get my students, yourself included, is to carefully read my code and conduct, which is revisited every year. Could you find me your homework diary?”

 

“Why do I need that? I kind of lost it.” As Amy tended to do about two weeks into the first term.

 

“Ah, now that is against the rules. A lost diary is a lunchtime detention, please attend it... I shall see to Aurora to hold you to that. But that’s fine, I have a spare few in my desk. Here, why don’t you open it to page two and read aloud article seven of respecting school staff.”

 

Amethyst opened the diary, fiddled with it, dropped it, got out of her chair to find it again, then sat back up. “Sorry ‘bout that,” she said. “Article seven, you said? Hmmm... ah, found it!” She loudly cleared her throat. “All pupils must at all points show proper respect to staff. Misconduct against this rule includes but is not limited to: Paper-throwing, name-calling, slandering, finger-pointing, and childish arguing.”

 

Marigold mouthed the paragraph to herself as Amy read it aloud and finished it for her. “ _in return,_ members of staff will be expected to adhere to the same code of respect for their students. Yes. Now, what was it that you deemed appropriate for you to call me?”

 

Amethyst locked eyes with her, straight-faced. “Principal Diamond.”

 

“Please don’t play games with me. I can punish you harder than I already plan to.”

 

Amethyst raised her eyebrows for a long few seconds. “O-kay,” she said, “Kinky, but okay. What’s your punishment, Principal?”

 

Marigold flushed, but pretended not to hear. She stood up and began to pace before turning and staring her down, hard. “What on Earth made you think it was acceptable to call me a ‘cunt’ to my face?”

 

“Oh, did I do that? Oh man, completely forgot about it.” Amy grinned. “Sorry, man, in the heat of the moment and all that. You did some shitty things to some of my friends, so I mean. We cool?”

 

Marigold cocked a brow. "No. We are not 'cool'. You have after school detention every day this week. Writing lines."

 

Amy shrugged. “Whatever, just means I get to ride home in the car with Rori.”

 

The Principal narrowed her eyes. "Has... Aurora said... No. Never mind, Take this form and get out of my sight. Get it signed at detention, bring it to the office next week."

 

Amy didn’t take the form. “Who’s detention gonna be with? Obviously not you, _Principal_ , if you hate my face that much.”

 

"Heaven's sakes, I don't know. Whatever teacher is on duty. Don't get too close, though. Too many girls in your year getting into all sorts of business."

 

Amy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, whatever,” she said, “so what sort of lines should I be writing?”

 

"'I must respect members of staff." Marigold sniffed. "Minimum two sheets per detention."

 

Amy grimaced. “Cool. Can I go now?” She snatched up the sheet Diamond had given her.

 

"Please do."

 

So Amy turned on her heel and left. As soon as the door fell into the lock behind her, she was at Aurora’s desk. “I got detention,” she said. “And only a week, hah.” She lowered her voice. “Wanna stay after hours and graffiti the place? I liked that thing you had before. Ya know, the whole ‘Principal Diamond must fall’ shtick.”

 

Aurora perked up and then nodded. "You okay to go back to class? I'll text you about this whole thing, okay?"

 

Amy broke into a grin. “Did not expect you to agree. But cool, let’s do it. I’ll see ya later!” And with that, she left the office.

 

-

 

As the day passed, Aurora found her stay in her office atypically unbearable. It appeared Marigold had spent her entire holiday cataloguing loose ends, as the whole morning was one poor looking girl after another being summoned into the office. Her tissue box was running awfully low due to a constant need to dry adolescent tears. It was exhausting.

By lunchtime, she found herself no longer able to take it and found the detention list. Marigold had, many years ago, implemented an opt-in schedule for teachers to supervise afterschool detentions. Thankfully, the task appeared to mostly be ignored. A few phone calls and memos later, she was in.

 

When Amethyst showed up after school (she’d considered not going, but ultimately, what was that going to achieve?) she stopped dead in the doorway and stared at Aurora.

“I didn’t realise detention was gonna be with you,” she said. “How’d that one get past Maricunt?”

 

"She hasn't checked the rota for... probably years." Aurora gave an amused smile. "Here, take these before I get accused of favouritism." She swiftly passed a box of McDonald's goods. "This is actually a pretty good meeting space. I saw all these girls with Marigold today, actually... I wonder what she's up to."

 

Amy’s eyes went huge at the McDonald’s. “You’re the _best_ ,” she said, “I’m starving.” She dug out some nuggets. “I dunno,” she said with a full mouth. “Probs rounding up all the ones she thinks are gay or something.”

 

"...You know. I actually.... wouldn't be too surprised if it was all that far from the truth." Aurora sniffed. "Wonder if it's worth talking to any of them."

 

“If you want. Or you could sit here and we could plan for breaking in tonight.” Amy grinned.

 

Aurora paused and then let a sly smile creep atop her face. "Oh, yes. I almost forgot. I haven't... gotten up to any kind of mischief for a while but... considering the way these kids looked after they came out of her office... Marigold may need a gentle reminder that she's making enemies."

 

“Oh heck yeah she does. We gotta show her that she ain’t the boss here,” Amy said, grinning. “Well, although technically I guess she is.”

 

"Now is probably the best time, too. Marigold is going to suspect everyone in this room after today. Right. So, here's the plan. The school security system automatically switches on at nine. We need to sneak in here before that and hopefully not get caught on CCTV."

 

“You know where the cameras are, though, right?” Amy said, brows raised.

 

"Indeed. I even know about the secret hidden one by the parking area bushes that we need to avoid." Aurora nodded. "Now... we might need a quick getaway. For both of our sakes, I really shouldn't get into trouble. But I do have an idea..."

 

“Let’s call Pearl and get her to bust us out,” Amy chimed in eagerly. “She literally said earlier, something along the lines of ‘if you need someone to bail you, don’t call me’... oh. Well, let’s do it anyway.”

 

"No, no. Even better. So, the second Blue was old enough, she got her bike. And I used to get rides everywhere. I um, know how to drive."

 

“Wait, you... wait, really?” Amy gaped. “So where we getting the bike from?”

 

"Blue can probably drive it over and spend the night. Or just drop it off. I'll give her a call while you get on with your lines. I'm afraid I can't let you get out of that."

 

Amy pouted. “Oh man,” she said, “okay. Wait, I forgot what I’m supposed to write. I can make up my own, I guess? ‘Maricunt is really fucking gay and it’s about time everyone realises-‘ wait. Rori, I got it.”

 

"Please. Just do what she's told you." Aurora gave an exasperated sigh. "You know, upholding any kind of neutral alignment is spoiled by your chaotic good.”

 

“No, no, not the stupid lines. I mean how we can get back at her. Expose her. Rose was talking about it, remember? We need something big. You should tell her about what happened with you and Diamond, you should tell all of them.”

 

Aurora opened her mouth and then stopped. Her eyes searched Amy, and then the room, and finally the floor. By the time she finally spoke again, her cheeks were aflush and her hands balled. "No, Amy, I can't."

 

Amy grimaced. “Well, I guess it’s up to you, but I sure know I’d rather people hear it from you rather than, uh. Other sources. And it’ll fuck her up, everyone’s gonna lose so much respect for her. She’s a hypocrite and an abuser.”

 

"Please keep your voice down," Aurora snapped. Indeed, their conversation was already starting to score a few glances. "Look. She... she didn't know what she was doing with me. I know she didn't. She can't just be outed like that. It's not right. Even if she deserves it. And... us breaking in is different. We do a thing, we mess around with her things and maybe steal some stuff. But... me telling everyone? The school? The kids, too? I don't know, Amy. It might be easier to be gay now, but it's still terrifying."

 

“You don’t think she deserves a taste of her own medicine?” Amy hissed back. “But okay, yeah, I feel ya. It’d be cool, though. Anyway. I have some lines to write, I guess.”

 

"...No. Amy. You don't... you don't know her like I do. She's terrified of it. Of anyone knowing. She didn't even like me knowing when I was probably two fingers deep. Just... let's drop it." Aurora sighed. "Sorry. But... yes. Crack on with the lines. I'll start planning. We attack tonight."

 

 

 


	69. Act V - Chapter XXXIV: Heat

Amy put down the pen.

“Done,” she said, stretched and yawned.

She’d gone slow on purpose; everyone else had already gone home. She caught Aurora’s eye.

“Showtime?”

 

“What? No, jesus, we don’t even have our vehicle yet. If Marigld sees my car, we’re screwed.” Aurora replied, shutting her laptop. “Blue is delivering hers with some spare gear for you. We’re going to go home, plan our sneaking out outfits and have dinner before we go. _We’re not animals._  And I really want to make creme brulee. I’ve been craving it all week.”

 

Amy grinned. “How very middle class of you. Fine, let’s go then. Can’t wait to go on that sweet ride of yours. Well. Blue’s.”

 

“Yes, it’s been a while since I’ve taken anything with less than four wheels on a spin. Marigold didn’t want me to get anything that made me unsafe.” She sighed. “Whatever. Tonight will be a Crystal Gem victory.”

 

“Yeah! Hey, maybe we should let Rose know we’re doing this. Or someone? I dunno, I could text Ruby, I suppose.”

 

“They’d try and stop us. And with good reason.” Aurora sniffed. “It’s insane. Maybe... It isn’t safe for you either. You’re only eighteen and you don’t want a police record because of this.”

 

“The police already know me. I don’t care, I’m gonna have my future ruined by Maricunt anyway, so might as well have fun while I’m at it. Let’s go.” Amy grinned at Aurora.

 

Aurora watched her for a few seconds and then exhaled. “If you’re sure.”

 

Amy’s grin widened. “I sure am,” she said. “Shall we?”

 

“Alright. Let’s do this.”

 

\--

 

If the deep rumbling of a motor outside hadn’t clued them in that Blue had arrived, the energetic ringing of the doorbell would have.

Amethyst went to open the door for Aurora’s sister, already dressed in her darkest, least suspicious clothes. (Though she somewhat suspected that she might have turned around, making her actually look _more_ suspicious, but she wasn’t going to dwell on that.)

“Rori, Blue is here!” she called through the flat. “It’s time!”

 

Aurora paced down, wearing a dark turtleneck. She opened the door. “Hey, Blue. Thanks for doing this. I know it’s late.”

“Yeah, whatever. Azure is out of town, anyway, and the house-sitting is a nice distraction.”

“You won’t be housesitting for too long. I set up your station. You’re entitled to my pantry, poptarts included, if you do this right.”

Blue rolled her eyes (a motion Aurora had required to learn to pick up behind that fringe). “Fine. I can’t believe you actually have access to her camera system. The possibilities we could have had with that when I was still causing trouble.”

“It’s just the one that Marigold set up pretty recently - just a year back.” Aurora showed her a small laptop with a livestream of CCTV. “She trusted me enough back then to let me have this one - it’s not much but it means you’ll be able to let us know if something happens.”

Blue looked at it and finally gave an impressed nod before sitting down. “Huh. Not too shabby.”

“I learnt from the best.” A wink. “Amethyst! I’m ready to go.”

 

“Coming,” Amethyst said. “Hey, Blue! Excited to see us fuck shit up?”

She frowned at the helmet Blue had brought for her. “We have to wear those, right?”

 

“You’re not going anywhere near my bike without your helmet.” Blue sniffed, but then gave a little wave. “Hey. Yeah, it’s always nice to hear anyone else making Diamond’s day miserable.”

“Okay, Amethyst!” Aurora called, already wearing a jacket and her helmet. “We need to go, now, if we want to do this on time.” She checked her phone. Twenty past eight. “I want to get there by half past.” She then turned to Blue. “I’m going to start a group call when we arrive and put you on speaker when we’re in. That way you can let us know the second the heat arrives.”

 

“Sounds fun.” Amethyst took the helmet and pulled it over her head. She grimaced. “It’s so tight and stuffy. But okay. Let’s go!”

She slipped into her jacket and held the door open for Aurora.

 

“Thanks!” Aurora smiled, voice muffled.

The bike was parked directly outside the apartment complex. Aurora swallowed as she opened the door; the night air cold enough to make her breath visible. She quickly slipped the key in, holding it in her gloves was already awkward enough. She then sat on the motorbike, planting both her feet firmly on the ground.

“Alright, if you get on, I’ll start the bike,” she told Amethyst.

 

Amy gave a quick nod before awkwardly backing away. “Okay, so, I just climb... and swing my leg over? You sure we’re not both gonna tip...?” She nervously clambered on, “Oh! I think I got it. Yeah. There!”

 

“I know what I’m doing, Amy,” Aurora said. She balanced Amethyst’s weight out and then took a deep breath. “Just ‘cause I haven’t done it in a while...”

She let the sentence trail off. The movements were still there. Clutch, brake, gears.

“Hold on to me,” she told Amethyst, “and if anything’s wrong, pat me twice so I know I need to stop. Even if you’re just tired – I can’t have you falling asleep on me.”

She took another deep breath, turned the key and started the motorbike.

 

The drive itself wasn't entirely all that long. Amethyst found herself terrified for a few brief seconds before finding an odd comfort in the fact that she had not yet fallen over and instead found herself softly hugging onto Aurora's back.

 

They arrived at the school just before eight. Aurora knew the blind spots of the CCTV, so she made sure to park in a place that she knew was safe.

“Okay, the doors are being watched, obviously,” she said. “We should call Blue and see what she can give us.”

 

Amy nodded. "On it. Pass me your phone, I'll start the group call."

A brief few seconds later, Blue connected to the call. "Yo. You guys there? Didn't see anything on the cameras."

 

Aurora took the phone and put it on speaker. “Yeah, parked in the blind spot,” she said. “We have some options here – but I want to avoid the front door if possible. I know where the cameras are, just let us know if you can see us at all, okay?”

She nudged Amy to come with her. “The side entrance isn’t usually watched.”

 

"Really?" Amy blinked. "Huh. Need to start using that when I'm late." She then followed after Aurora. "You got the keys to this place, or?"

 

“Of course.” Aurora rolled her eyes, showing the keys to Amy. “We’ll be in and out in no time. Well, before nine, at least. That’s when the entire school locks down and the motion sensors go on.”

 

"Are there motion sensors all over the school?" Amy frowned, peering into the dark hallway before walking in. "I thought the funding for this place was just average. What's the Principal trying to hide?"

 

 

“It’s just the national standard. Sensitive records about students, nothing you wouldn’t find in any other school.” Aurora stopped, then frowned. “Unless... we should definitely check out her office.”

 

"Are you guys in the building then?" Blue asked over the call line.

"Affirmative." Amy snorted, muffling her voice a little as they began to walk to the office. "We just got inside and are on our way to our location. Over."

"My pal, this is not a walkie talkie." Blue sounded unimpressed. "You guys look clear. I'll stay quiet and let you do stuff while I order food."

 

“Okay, Blue. Make sure you keep an eye on the cameras, though.” Aurora put the phone in her pocket, where they would still hear it.

The school was deserted. It was getting dark.

“Uh,” Aurora said. “It’s, ah, been a while since my last breakin. Do we... turn on the lights?”

 

"No, duh. We sneak in the dark or we'll cause suspicion. Come on, I know the way." Amethyst then paused. "Wait. You work... outside the office. Don't you?"

 

“Yeah. Why?”

 

"Just wondering. You seem kinda lost in the dark." Amethyst wrapped her hand around Aurora's. "Now we won't get lost."

They briefly walked before Amethyst whispered. "Just up the stairs... here. It's... different without all the people."

 

“I know where I’m going, Amy,” Aurora hissed back. “I just... like seeing where I’m going.” She pulled out her keys and unlocked the Principal’s office. “Shall we have a look?”

 

Amethyst rubbed her hands together as she watched Aurora open the door. "Oh, I'm planning to do way more than take a look." She took off her backpack. "I got all the stuff we need to screw this place up. Crowbar, spraypaints, eggs, flour. Paperclips. Toaster strudels. Wait, that's breakfast." She finally pulled up a small vial and smelt it. "Oh yeah, and gasoline."

 

Aurora frowned. “Are you planning on burning anything? That might be going a little too far. I don’t really want to burn down the entire place.”

 

"Oh. I like licking the jar when I'm anxious. But I guess you could burn stuff too." A small gasp before Aurora could reply. "Oh, man. It's so much less... intimidating without her. And still kind of unpleasant."

 

Aurora looked up.

“I’ve not been in here in... weeks,” she said softly. The last time she’d been here by herself was when she’d cleared out the cupboard after –

She took a small step in, then a bigger one. “Alright, let’s do it. Those drawers hold a lot of important stuff, you can start there.”

 

"Okay. Am I messing stuff up as I'm looking for anything interesting, or are we looking for stuff first and then messing up in one giant mess-up push before we split outta here?"

 

“Good question.”

Aurora was still looking around, her chest aching in a very familiar way. Her eyes fell on a picture she’d seen countless times before.

Her and Marigold at the party, all those years ago.

“I didn’t realise she still kept that in here,” she said. Then frowned, clenched her teeth and took it down. “Well, my face has no place in her office anymore.”

 

"Ohhhh!" Amy called out. "Yeah, you take that fucker down! Oh, let's bring it home so you can scribble out her face. I saw that in a movie once. Oh man, what if you do that, and then return it, huh? That'll really freak her out."

 

“It’d be really obvious that it was me who did it,” Aurora said. “Nobody else in this school cares about me enough not to scribble out my face as well.” She sighed and put the picture into her bag a lot more carefully than she probably should have. “Let’s... let’s get started.”

 

"Okay." Amy began to pull out the shelves and once they were all arranged on the floor, started to rummage through them. "Oh man, so this first one looks like confiscated stuff! Is that a _vibe_?"

 

Aurora looked over, blushing as she giggled. “Oh man, yeah. Blue, remember the rabbits?”

 

"Holy shit, did she actually keep it? It's been years!" Blue replied from her pocket. "Do you think she masturbates with it when she gets lonely?"

"What, you mean all the time now that our Rori's gotten rid of her ass?" Amy chimed in

"Psch, knowing her, she probably still touches herself thinking about the only ass she ever got."

 

Aurora frowned. “Well, we can test that hypothesis by removing the vibe and seeing if she gets grumpy,” she said, “but in fairness, seeing her office destroyed tomorrow morning might also do that. What else do you have?”

Her eyes fell on the drawer at the top, which was lockable.

She knew where Marigold kept the key.

 

"A slingshot, magazines, handful of phones and neglected tamagochi.... Oooh, pokemon cards! And yu-gi-oh. And whoever kept this penknife before the principal got her fingers on it had excellent taste. I might keep this, actually."

 

“Go for it,” Aurora said, “just don’t hurt yourself.”

The key was still in its hiding place in the back of the cabinet. The cabinet was empty, it looked like it hadn’t been opened in a long time.

She took it and opened the drawer.

“Stars, this is dusty. What’s she keeping in here?”

 

"Oh, if it was behind a lock, it must be important. I know that shit from like any game ever." Amethyst blew on a kazoo she then also pocketed. "Find out what important quest item is hidden in there, yo. I'll start messing with her stuff." And with that, she turned two of the shelves upside down and began to throw the papers around. She then scrunched a leaf into a ball and threw it at Aurora. "Oh, dang. Nearly gotcha!"

 

“Hey, I still have to drive us home, so don’t give me an injury,” Aurora warned with a grin before turning her attention back to the drawer.

Huh. Personal documents?

“I probably shouldn’t be going through this,” she said, suddenly guilt-ridden. “She’ll know it was me, nobody else knows where the key is.”

 

"Pfft, are you kidding? I'm sure that anyone who turned this place upside down could find it. Or... we could look at what's in there, close it and pretend we never found that shit."

Amethyst snorted, pulling a water bottle out of her bag and spilling it all over Marigold's laptop. "Whoops. What a shame." She then put it on the floor. "Hey, stand back. I'm gonna smash it."

 

Aurora frowned, then nodded. “Good call. There’s records on there of all the kids she gave detention to today. They didn’t deserve it.”

She pulled out the drawer and set it on the floor.

“It says here that she owns half an estate,” she said. “That’s odd, she never told me about that at all.”

 

"Whoa, is she rich? What's her house like?" Amy asked, smashing the laptop screen with the crowbar.

"Uh, guys..." Blue murmured, her voice crackling behind the call.

"Oh man, I hate Skype sometimes." Amy frowned and landed the laptop another blow. Sparks shot out of it. "Oh, one more and that should do it. What else does it say, Rori?"

 

Aurora pulled out some other documents.

The sheet of paper right at the bottom of the drawer caught her attention.

“It’s... a will,” she said. “Why does Marigold have a will in her drawer?”

 

 

"Whose will is it?" Amy looked up, curious. She padded over. "Ooh, looks fancy, too."

 

“Some... Claire... I’m not sure how to pronounce that last name.” Aurora frowned. “She died over twenty years ago.”

 

"And Marigold keeps that around?" Amethyst whistled. "She never mentioned this chick to you?"

 

“No.” Aurora swallowed heavily. “Who d’you reckon she was?”

 

"I have no-"

"Guys!" Blue yelled. Her voice still static-y. "You need to go, right now! Looks like the heat realised you're there, they're just pulling into the park."

"Fuck." Amy whispered. "What time is it, I thought the system went on at nine?"

 

Aurora pulled herself out of her thoughts. She took her phone out and –

“Fuck,” she said. “It’s already five past.”

 

 

 


	70. Act V - Chapter XXXV: Daring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Those of you who follow our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/) might have seen it: We've decided on a biweekly updating schedule to allow us more time for writing chapters and making nice illustrations and also work on some other things. University is about to start, which means we're both going to be more busy in the upcoming weeks, but we are determined to eventually finish Act 5...
> 
> (Yeah, it's gotten ridiculously long... whose silly idea was it to use Roman numerals for chapter numbers? Oh yeah. Mine.)
> 
> Anyway we hope you enjoy!
> 
> Content warnings for anything that might be expected after sneaking into a school and setting off the alarm.

 

"I thought you were meant to warn us, Blue!" Amethyst snapped, terror visible on her expression. Her breaths turning erratic.

"I tried! I think the internet went down. Looks like they're just getting out now. Oh shit. Aurora. Your gal pal is here."

 

Aurora swore. “We have to get out, now! Amy – grab whatever you need, let’s get out!” Panicked, she grabbed the drawer and shoved it back in, leaving the key in the lock.

 

"Just hold on a sec. There's something else I wanna do. You figure out what way we're getting out," Amy called from the other side of the room as a spraying noise echoed the room.

 

“Amy, we need to go!” Aurora hissed. “Come _on_ \- what are you doing!?”

 

"Just a moment! I'm nearly done!"

 

Aurora was about to leave when something on the cabinet caught her eye. She grabbed the small stack of papers and shoved them into her bag.

“You done?”

 

Amethyst tossed the paint can and bolted out of the room before it finished rattling upon impact. She gave Aurora a thumbs up, “Which way? The direction we got in, or...?”

 

“Not a good idea,” Blue chimed in, “looks like they have people there.”

 

“I know a way,” Aurora said. “Come on.” She grabbed Amy’s arm and ran off into the direction of the classrooms.

 

 

“Whoah!” Amy yelped as she was tugged, her eyes adjusting to the darkness. “Shit,” she exhaled, “I think I hear them coming down the hall.”

 

Aurora felt her heart beating fast. “Okay,” she hissed, “okay, we’re going to take the long way round. Go back – to the stairs.”

 

Amethyst stopped, out of breath. “What? We’re going to the _second_ floor? You do realise that we’re, like, going to be trapped up there.”

 

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Come on! Don’t stop or we’ll get caught.”

 

Amethyst didn’t say another word. The sound behind them appeared to grow louder, footsteps chasing faster. “Shit. They can hear us run.” Amethyst attempted to whisper as they made it to the staircase.

 

“Run more quietly, then,” Aurora hissed back. “You’re making an awful lot of noise.” She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw flashlights coming after them. “In here,” she said, dragging Amethyst into a corridor. “Stay quiet, we’re not in their line of sight anymore.”

 

“The art classrooms. They’re just up there,” Amy said, her voice quiet. Scared. “They have the new tall desks. We can hide underneath them.”

 

Aurora nodded, but held Amy back. Breathing shallowly until she heard the noise go dimmer.

“Okay, now,” she whispered, “let’s go.” The art classrooms were locked overnight; Aurora unlocked them, highly conscious of the loud clicking noise. “I’ll lock us in.”

 

Amethyst nodded, sneaking in and finding a suitably angled desk. “Down here. We’ve got a second to plan things. Blue, how’s it looking outside.”

“Hoo, boy. I’ve been staying quiet because I didn’t want to get you guys in trouble but the Diamond is looking... not happy. I think she’s gone in through the main entrance, but she had some cops with her, so I think everyone’s just running around after you.”

“We gathered that.” Amethyst frowned. “How the hell do we get out? We can’t just barricade ourselves in here, yo. We’re sitting ducks.”

 

“Well, you’re going to have to think of something fast,” Blue said. “They’re going through the corridors, looking in all the classrooms. You got like two minutes, tops.”

Aurora cursed and looked around. “We can’t stay here,” she said.

 

“We open the windows, and pretend it’s suicide,” Amethyst said with earnest after a minute of deliberation. “Then, we cover ourselves with stuff and hide here, and they’ll think we died!”

 

Aurora rolled her eyes. “Yes, that is definitely what we’re going to do. Or maybe we just get out through the window, that would be much easier.” She stepped towards the window.

 

“That’s a two storey jump!” Amethyst snapped, tugging her back. She opened her mouth to speak, only to be intterupted by thundrous knocking at the door. The handle rattled. “Fuck. Fuck...”

 

“No, it’s not. Trust me, Amy, just go, we don’t have time.”

 

“We can’t just jump!”

 

“We won’t! There’s a – just get out, you’ll see.” A voice outside. A very familiar voice. Keys being rattled. “She’s got a key, Amy, go _now_!”

 

Amethyst shut her eyes and let Aurora lead her. She opened them a crack before stepping outside, her hands so curled that her nails were beginning to dig in. She took in the outside, cool air brushing past her face before looking down.

“Oh.”

A fire exit ladder.

 

Aurora was at the window a second later. “Move, they’re getting in,” she hissed.

 

Amethyst nodded, and began to descend the flight of stairs, much more noisly than she’d hoped. Blue piped in with news. “Oh, you guys got lucky. Looks like they all went in after you. Looks all clear from your exit to the bike. But you better hustle.”

 

Aurora went out the window, clinging to the fire exit ladder as the door broke open.

For a split second, her and Marigold locked eyes, but then Aurora descended, climbing faster than she ever had in her life. “The car park is on the other side of those bushes!” she hissed at Amy, hoping that Amy would hear – or else, already knew.

 

 

Amethyst didn’t respond. The second she finished descending, she raced in the direction of the car park. Her face felt hot and her lungs on fire. Every footstep she began to fear something would go wrong. She’d fall. She’d be caught.

Her parents had chased her before. Never like this.

She made it to the bike. Alone.

“Come on, Rori... Let’s get out of here.”

 

Aurora was only a few steps behind.

“They’re coming after you,” Blue said. “As expected.”

Aurora cursed and hopped on the bike. “Get on, Amy,” she said. “Thanks, Blue, feel free to hang up – this isn’t going to be pleasant for you if you don’t!” And started the engine.

 

Blue gave a little scream on her end. “Fuck! Headphone user dead, may she rest in peace. See you guys!”

Amethyst was already clinging on, briefly fixing her helmet. “Come on, Aurora. They’re coming down!”

 

Aurora kicked the bike into gear and revved up the engine. There were police cars out front, she could see people running towards them. She recognised Marigold’s car.

She knew they were on their tail as she sped up and turned the corner.

 

Amethyst could only watch them. “There’s no point trying to hide, right?” she yelled. “If we go into the suburbs, we could probably shake them off. Unless they have a chopper. They don’t have a chopper, right?”

 

“Can’t hear you!” Aurora called back. But she knew what to do. The police didn’t have motorbikes, it looked like it was just cars.

_To the motorway._

 

They seemed to be speeding up. Amy took a shrill breath. She hadn’t expected that. Well, considering the situation, she really _should_ have. She tried to instead focus on the cops, their lights once again coming ever closer.

 

Aurora glanced in the mirror. Put in a higher gear and opened the throttle. They were on a nearly deserted road and if there was one advantage that motorbikes would always have over cars – it was acceleration.

“Alright,” she said, knowing full well that nobody would hear her, “here we go.”

 

Amethyst gave an odd noise, halfway between a scream and a yowl. Her hands near digging into Aurora’s jacket. She ended up closing her eyes again, and then softly opening them. Watching her surroundings rapidly change and shift.

 

The blue lights started to fade and the sirens grew quieter, though that might have also been the wind blowing in Aurora’s ears. As soon as the lights were out of sight, she took the exit.

If Marigold had given them her address, they’d be waiting for them there.

 

Despite that, they could only go home.

Amethyst watched the streets grow familiar once more. It wasn’t long until they were parked outside. Once the bike grew quiet, Amy took her helmet off, still sitting on the bike. “That... was Awesome! We did it!” She then paused. “You think we did it?”

 

“Yeah,” Aurora said, getting off. She hadn’t had time to think, but now, the ridiculousness of the entire situation started to sink in. “I can’t believe we just did that. And there’s no police, so Marigold isn’t coming for me. Not yet.” She got off the bike.

 

“Any word from Blue?” Amethyst followed Aurora, dialling their code into the intercom and opening the door. “Or anyone?”

 

Aurora pulled out her phone. Frowned. “Oh,” she said. “Well, I should have expected that.”

 

“What is it?” Amy blinked, shuffling herself into the lift.

 

“The police let me know that the school was broken into. They tried to call me, too.” Aurora sighed. “Well, I can’t exactly call them back and tell them what happened. But I can’t also... not respond to this.”

 

“Hm... What can you do? Act like you have no idea what happened?” Amy cocked a brow. “Oh _no, Marigold! How awful! Not your... precious office! Who on Earth could have broken in?”_

 

Aurora frowned. “I should call her,” she said, guilt seeping into her voice. “If I don’t, she will be suspicious. She will be suspicious anyway but... I should call her.”

 

"Hey, man. You don't need to do anything you don't want to. If that shit makes you uncomfortable, it can probably wait until tomorrow. She's not your responsibility to deal with."

 

“Yeah, she is.” Aurora sighed. “You can go on in and join Blue, see what the damage is. I’ll call her. It won’t be very long.”

 

"Your funeral." Amethyst shrugged and left in the direction of the flat.

 

Aurora sighed, and then took a few moments to compose herself. Breathed. Swallowed, then dialled Marigold’s number.

 

Marigold was almost instant to pick up. Her voice seemed cracked, hollow. "Do you have an update? Sorry - I... who is this?"

 

 

Aurora swallowed again. “It’s – it’s me,” she said, “Aurora. Uh, I got a message the school had been broken into?”

 

"Aurora." Marigold took a sharp inhale. "Yes, I've tried to find out some way to call you. I told you I'd need a way to get in touch."

 

Aurora looked down despite the fact that Marigold could not see her. Decided not to respond to the thinly veiled accusation.

“What happened?” she asked instead.

 

"Someone broke in. Targeted my office and destroyed some things." There was an odd fragility to her voice.  "There's some... chilling graffiti, too. I'm not going to let myself be intimidated by some hoodlums though."

 

“Oh, gosh, no!” Aurora hoped her acted surprise-outrage was good enough. “Hopefully nothing too important got destroyed!”

 

Marigold was silent for a second.

"A lot. Some records I'd brushed through, a backup of Rose Quartz's files. I'll need a few days before I can send that off."

 

Aurora hesitated for a long moment.

“Is there – anything I can help with?” she asked softly.

 

"Just... be present tomorrow." Marigold seemed to have lost words. Devastated. "Thank you... Aurora. For calling me. I'll... see you."

 

“I will be there. See you tomorrow.” Aurora swallowed. “Principal.”

She hung up and sighed heavily, her heart beating loudly in her chest.

The door fell shut behind her as she stepped into her flat.

“Well,” she said to nobody in particular, “I guess she has my new number now.”

 

 

 

 

 


	71. Act V – Chapter XXXVI: Bailing

The aftermath of what would later become known only as “The Heist” kept Amethyst up for the better part of the night. The events kept replaying in her head with a mixture of pride, shame and triumph, and Aurora and Blue had gone to sleep – which left very little for Amethyst to do.

Around four in the morning, she got the brilliant idea to text Pearl. Pearl was probably asleep too, so she wouldn’t get an answer til the morning – but at least she wouldn’t have to wait.

_yo pearl guess what we did!! it was so cool ill have to tell you all about it when you wake up._

 

_ _

 

And yet... Pearl replied almost instantly. _Oh, hey I’m awake. What’s up? :o_

 

Amethyst frowned. _didnt expect you to be up! u ok?_

 

_Kinda? Can’t sleep. But tell me about the thing you did. You seem excited._

 

_oh yeah! we broke into the school. you didnt hear that from me, though, we never did that. but also yes we totally did and it was awesome!_

 

_Oh my goodness. Amethyst! That’s so dangerous. You two could have been arrested!!!!!_

A few seconds later, there was another reply. _What did you do at the school?_

 

_just some fun stuff. youll see when we get back tomorrow!! big d’s gonna have a heart attack :D_

 

_Jesus. Well. Sit tight just in case the police do find you. You should go to sleep soon though._

 

_cant sleep. how about you? why arent you asleep?_

 

_Like I said. Can’t sleep. Just been thinking about something I might do soon. Tomorrow, if itll upset our common enemy._

 

_oh? that sounds interesting, wanna talk about it?_

 

It took a few moments for Pearl to reply.

_Okay, well... I guess I’m about to really... really embarass myself. I’ve been thinking about Rose a lot at therapy and I’ve kind of had to come to terms with the fact that I did something kind of awful. And then excused it by saying I was ‘defending’ people. I don’t think Rose is a predator._

 

 _well thats a change of direction_ , Amy texted back. Then hesitated, and added, _a good one, tho. so what are you gonna do?_

 

 _You’ll find out tomorrow ;p,_ Pearl replied. _But for real. I’ve managed to talk to my therapist about it and she’s been really helpful about it. I’ll show you tomorrow. But... thanks for at least talking to me about it. I was a little uncertain before but I think writing it down helped to cement that its something I should do._

 

\--

 

The Principal’s office was in ruins; papers missing or destroyed, her computer in pieces on the floor, and that... abhorrent graffiti on her wall.

And in the middle, wearing a stony mask that hid just how close she was to tears, Marigold Diamond tried to make sense of it all.

Aurora had come in this morning, offering her sympathies and playing up the shock of seeing Diamond’s office in this state. Marigold tried to convince herself that Aurora had nothing to do with it. She didn’t, Marigold just thought she’d seen her face because... because Marigold was a weak, sentimental sinner and could not let go.

Aurora had nothing to do with it, she was sure.

And yet she didn’t miss that Aurora didn’t even ask if she could help. No trace of that sweet, diligent girl remained. It added to the hurt and confusion.

She already knew she’d get nothing done today. If she was lucky, she’d tidy up a little bit.

 

Pearl had arrived about an hour early that day, letter in hand. She made her way up from reception, every step towards the principal's office feeling heavier than the last.

By the time she came to Aurora's cubicle, she already felt drained enough to go home. Of course, she vetoed the thought.

It was time to do the right thing.

"Hi Rori. Amy said you had a nice _party_ last night. You guys must be tired."

 

 

“Oh, I’m just fine. It was a good evening, though.” Aurora smiled at her innocently. “How can I help you?”

 

"Is the Principal available to talk?" Pearl forced a nervous smile. Perhaps she could just hand the letter over and escape the fallout of the impact.

 

“Probably. She’s definitely there. You might have to talk to her out here, though, her office is a bit of a mess. Surely you heard what happened? A breakin. Disastrous. She’s absolutely distraught. You didn’t hear it from me.”

 

"What... a shame." Pearl swallowed and then gave a nod, and with a wink began to walk towards Marigold's door. "I hope they catch the ones responsible for it soon."

She knocked, her heart thundering. "Principal Diamond?"

 

A few heavy steps could be heard from the other side. The door opened.

Principal Diamond stood behind it, frowning, visibly in a bad mood.

“Pearl,” she said icily. “What is it?”

 

"I, uh. Have something." Pearl waved the letter and handed it over. "I'll be going. Bye!"

 

“Not so fast.” Marigold stepped outside and closed the door behind her. “You’ll stay until I’ve read this.”

 

 

"Are you sure? I mean, I have classes... I really should be going."

 

“Unless something has drastically changed without me noticing, classes don’t start for another...” Marigold checked her wrist watch. “Forty-five minutes, at least. Now take a seat.”

 

Pearl gave a gentle look upon Aurora, as if it were her last, before sitting down next to the office. "I guess this is how I die," she murmured.

 

Marigold frowned at Pearl for a long moment before drawing her attention back to the letter Pearl had given her.

She started to read.

“‘I hereby redact any and all statements that I have ever made concerning my relationship with a certain member of staff, the currently suspended Rose Quartz. I was suffering from a mental breakdown when I made those allegations and I would like to assure you that none of them are true. With this in mind, I would kindly ask that you drop all proceedings against the aforementioned Ms Quartz and restore her to her position. Sincerely, Pearl Morgan.’”

 

Pearl laughed nervously. "Hah, um, the second letter is that from my psychologist. It, uh, it should function as an official doctor's note to further support the letter."

 

Diamond looked up, a thunderstorm brewing fast behind her eyes. “I don’t believe you,” she snapped. “You’re lying to appease your own guilt over what you did. Well, guess what. It won’t work. This letter, this note, it means _nothing_ to me, and I will certainly not drop anything. Quartz remains suspended. Now get out of my sight before I suspend you too.”

 

Pearl wanted to leave. Her fingers twitched and her gaze never left the ground. "Then I'll just have to get my psychiatrist to write another one. And another one. That's legal evidence you're choosing to shove aside because of your own issues."

 

“Shut your mouth. You will not speak to me in that tone, you insolent _child_. I am the headmaster of this school and I was personally attacked last night and if you give me one more reason to ruin your future forever, I will. Get. _Out_.”

 

Pearl held her ground. "I'll be back tomorrow with another letter. I won't give up."

 

“Yes, you will.” And with that, Marigold turned and disappeared into her office, slamming the door shut behind her.

 

"Oof, and I got away with it Scott-free." Pearl raised her eyebrows and looked over at Aurora. "Is she always like this? Like, does she even possess the ability to turn off whatever bitch mode she's stuck on?"

 

Aurora didn’t smile. “Surprisingly enough, yes,” she said. “That was a gutsy move, Pearl. I’m proud of you.”

 

"Yeah, well. Getting Rose on suspension wasn't my call to make in the first place. And acting like a victim just made me even more shitty." Pearl shuffled her backpack on. "But I wasn't kidding. You'll make sure my letters get to her, right?"

 

“Absolutely. Is this why you got here so early?”

 

"Yeah." Pearl nodded. "You get some coffee in you, Rori. You look dead. I'll see you around."

 

Aurora sighed. Pearl was probably right. “You have a good day, and don’t get into too much trouble,” she told Pearl with a warm smile.

After the door closed behind Pearl, Aurora let out a deep sigh. She’d been dreading this moment all morning: the moment in which she found herself feeling like she should check up on Marigold.

She knocked on the door, hesitantly. “Principal? It’s... me.”

 

Marigold's voice seemed oddly tender when she replied, despite her thunder only a minute ago. Her voice cracked with exhaustion. "Come in, Aurora."

 

 

Aurora stepped inside. She closed the door behind her and didn’t approach Marigold.

“Are you... okay?” she said softly.

 

"No." Marigold’s tone grew cold again. "I didn't need this, Aurora! I didn't need to have my school broken into... I didn't need the documents I have on Quartz that I was planning to send off today go missing. I don't need your sister suddenly bailing a case on a predator."

 

Aurora fell silent.

“Oh,” she just said in response. The graffiti Amethyst had left during the night was clearly visible right next to the window.

“Is there... anything I can do?”

 

Marigold looked at her. As if recalling a memory, just out of her grasp. She then sighed. "No. I'm fine. This is all fine. I've hired the cleaning crew to fix this. They'll be here in twenty minutes or so, when school starts." She turned away. "I'll go and patrol to take my mind of it. Hold the ship."

 

Aurora swallowed. “Okay.”

She lingered in the office for several seconds longer than she should. Eventually, she sighed and stepped outside towards her desk.

 

Marigold stepped out about five minutes later, her uniform a little more fixed than the stern expression draped on her features. "I'm going to find out which one of these little brats wants me to 'fall'."

 

“Are you... sure going out right now is a good idea, Ma- Principal?” Aurora swallowed. Cursed herself internally for the slip up. “Students won’t be in for a... while.”

 

"There'll be some," Marigold replied, marching to the door.

 

 

 


	72. Act V – Chapter XXXVII: Apology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the break. We've had a few really busy weeks. But we'll be updating as normal from now on!

 

Pearl's heart was still racing by the time lessons started, and had barely stopped by the time she'd come to first break. Lazuli had told her to see the nurse in first period, but she instead had gone into the bathroom to stressfully play with the last of her kohl pencil.

Indeed, by breaktime she found herself erratic from the persistent anxiety.

She was finding it a little difficult to breathe in a corner by the school courtyard, her abandoned lunchbox by her side.

Diamond.

Rose.

Diamond.

Rose.

Could she do that again, like she swore to?

She had to.

The thought made her panic again. Why was she even doing this. Why pursue freeing her? Rose hated her for this. Rose would hate her for ever. She hadn't even apologised.

Pearl gasped.

She'd never even really apologised.

Her fists curled. She needed to apologise. That would make the adrenaline stop, right?

She felt like she was on fire when she took off. Her leg hurt as it thrust her out- but she knew she needed to run or she'd be caught by one of the patrolling teachers. Pearl, however, didn't care anymore. She didn't care about how awkward running felt. Or if she'd get suspended, too.

She slowed down as soon as the school was out of view, but despite the begging, persistent pain in her knee, she didn't stop. Even her mind felt like a blur of 'sorry' and Rose.

Not until she'd made it to Rose's familiar neighborhood.

It was only after she rang the doorbell that she began to tremble.

 

Rose was surprised by the sudden ring of the doorbell. It was during the day, Greg was out for an interview, and suspension meant Rose had very little to do. She’d spent the morning drafting applications to other schools. Despairing over what to tell other work places as to the reason why she’d been laid off.

She hesitated. She wasn’t expecting anyone. Maybe Greg had forgotten his keys?

She paled when she opened the door and saw Pearl.

Her eyes narrowed, her heart beat faster.

“What... are you doing here?”

 

Pearl stammered. She, all of the sudden, couldn't remember how to form even the most basic of words.

But she needed to. Rose needed to know she was sorry. Rose needed to know she was trying to fix things. Rose needed to know she was a good person.

At last, uncontrollable, nervous words tumbled out.

_Just apologise. Say sorry. You can leave after that. Just say sorry. You're sorry._

"Do you think I'm a good person?"

 

 

 

Rose stared at her. Several seconds passed.

“I’m sorry, what?”

 

Pearl stood. The little hairs on the back of her neck standing on edge.

"Sorry. I. Didn't... I shouldn't be asking for any validation. That's... not why I came. I'm sorry." She took in a sharp inhale.

_Why am I shaking? I'm not like one of those... I don't shake. Why?_

Her eyes were wide. Face pale, despite the warmth of the spring afternoon. "I. Uh. I."

_Just say it. You're sorry. You are sorry._

"I'm sorry for what I did to you." Her breathing grew more frantic. Her body twitched.

_Just control yourself already._

"I can't make excuses for what I did and I'm sorry that I'm... I'm in your space but I didn't know how else to do it and seem genuine but... I. I'm trying to fix things. I told... the Principal... never mind I need to go."

 

Rose didn’t smile.

“Would you like to come in?” she said, her voice still oddly bereft of its usual warmth. “I can make tea, or coffee, if you like, you look like you might need it.”

 

_Breathe._

Pearl took an inhale.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

Hold.

Exhale. 

_Think about your CBT. You're not here for Rose to validate you. She doesn't need to be kind._

Pearl’s voice seemed a little less airy, her breath slowing down. _She_ was slowing it down. "Only if you're comfortable. I would really appreciate that."

 

“Come in, then.”

Rose stepped aside, not looking at Pearl as Pearl came in. She sighed and went into the kitchen, putting on the kettle. “What would you like?”

 

Pearl spied the alcohol cupboard. She flinched at the sheer embarrassment of her flashback.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

Hold.

"I'm good with just tea."

Exhale.

 

“Okay.”

Rose busied herself with getting mugs out, getting tea bags, getting the milk out of the fridge. Still not looking at Pearl.

When the kettle boiled, she poured the mugs and brought them through. Sat them down carefully on the coffee table, then sat down herself.

“Feel free to sit wherever you like,” she said, finally looking at Pearl.

A small silence hung.

“What happened, Pearl?” she then asked softly.

 

"You don't need to be nice to me," Pearl blurted out the second she sat down.

_Control yourself. Slow down. Keep breathing._

"Sorry." She sighed. "I didn't come here to take advantage of your kindness again I just... realised I'd never apologised and that wasn't okay. Oh! Yes, the thing that brought it on. Well, look!"

She slid out a letter from her bag. "I didn't get the chance to really show this to the Principal, I've tried, but here. This copy is for you in case you have to go to court. Doctor Knight is my therapist."

 

Rose took the letter and read it.

Her eyes widened.

“You gave this to the Principal?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

 

"You should've seen her face." Pearl finally felt herself relax a little. "Yeah. And you obviously have our permissions to use that document as you see fit. It's great because it... makes me look like a real manipulative, crazy drama queen and... yeah. That's what I was to you. That's what I did to you. I still don't know if... what we had was okay. But... I needed to at least rectify this for you. Even if no one is ever going to trust me or look at me in the same way again after this."

 

Rose was silent for a few long moments.

“Thank you, Pearl,” she said. “I... appreciate it.”

And just like that, the pressure was off. Diamond had no real proof, and now Pearl’s statement had been redacted.

Maybe she wasn’t going to lose her job after all.

She blinked. Couldn’t help a few tears escaping.

 

Pearl opened her mouth to tell her to not cry. She then closed it.

"I was in a really bad place. That is an explanation, not an excuse." She paused. "When you're... so ready to antagonise a person, you begin to see the things you didn't care about before. I don't know if it helps, but... a part of me really did think I was getting rid of a predator at the time. I... don't know what else I can say but I'm sorry. You've never done anything I didn't want you to do and... Diamond must've twisted the things I said, too. But I let her do that."

 

It hurt. It hurt Rose to know that Pearl, at some point, had thought of her as a predator.

_Am I?_

The hurtful thoughts remained. The fact that Pearl very nearly had ruined her future remained. It was made only a little better by the fact that Pearl was trying to atone.

She said nothing. She couldn’t.

 

"But, uh. Look. I don't know if your intentions were good or not but... I kind of agree that we have a power imbalance that really isn't going to go away for a long time. And I'm kind of upset that... you gave into it despite probably knowing that. But I don't want to be angry with you for it because I wanted our relationship too and I did my best to try fool you I was ready for it and you trusted me a lot."

Pearl looked around. She felt the discomfort and tension in the air, their fumes thick enough to choke on.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

"But don't... think I'm here just to criticise you. We both failed each other, and I think way more me than you. But I also think we're on the same side and that there's a reason we became close in the first place. I want you to know that even though it might look like it, if I had control, I would have realised the risk our relationship had to your career and stopped it back then. You never... meant harm, right? You were just trying to get me to eat.”

 

This, it seemed, broke through something in Rose. She trembled and broke down completely, sobbing into her hands.

She didn’t like it. She wanted to stop. Not now, not in front of Pearl.

 

"Are you... okay?"

 

It didn’t help. Rose tried to control her breathing, found it too difficult. Eventually just sat, her head in her hands, trying to subdue her sobs.

 

"Hey. Hey..." Pearl watched, confused.  "Don't forget your breathing. Can I help you?"

 

Slowly, Rose started to calm down.

“I’m okay,” she said softly, her voice still thick with tears. “I’m... I’m sorry, I just...”

She breathed heavily, closed her eyes. “There are tissues around somewhere,” she said, “do you mind...?”

 

"Oh! Would you like me to... leave?"

 

“No, no, just – get some tissues for me, if... if that’s okay.”

 

"Oh!" Pearl got up. "I actually know where they are. Hold on." She paced to the other side of the room. "Oh, hey. Where's your... boyfriend?"

 

“Out.” Rose didn’t need to be more specific than that, she thought. She took the tissues from Pearl, blew her nose and wiped her eyes.

“You had all right to be mad at me,” she then said. “To report me, even. I... wasn’t quite as selfless as I made it out to be.”

 

Pearl paused, her brows knitting. "What do you... mean?"

 

Rose sighed. “Well, you know what they say,” she said, “One’s an incident, two’s a coincidence...” She let the sentence trail off. “Let’s just say you aren’t the first. You were never meant to be special – I mean – special, maybe but I never meant to get attached. But... I did, and then it all went so badly wrong. It is... in no way your fault.”

 

Pearl was still confused. She settled back down and watched Rose with intent. “I’m kind of not sure what you’re trying to say. When you say I’m not the first... Do you mean dating other students? Because I know already and I’ve forgiven you for it. Even if you don’t feel you need to, I admit I really freaked out with Kai. Not every relationship you have is the same, and you aren’t... your mistakes, you know.”

 

Rose looked at Pearl, hard.

“Is that still true if I keep making the same mistakes over and over again?” she said.

 

“If you don’t mind me prying... What do you think your mistakes are?”

 

Rose sighed. “Having relationships... with power imbalances. I keep telling myself – every single time, I tell myself, this time it’ll be different. And it’s... it’s tiring, having it go wrong again and again and again, trying to fix someone only to end up...”

She trailed off. Fresh tears clinging to her eyelashes.

“I really need to stop treating people like projects.”

 

“Yeah. You do.”

There wasn’t much said for a few minutes after that.

 

Rose finally sighed. Took a timid sip of her tea.

“I’m sorry,” she then said softly. “For ever treating you like that. And I... don’t expect you to forgive that. I...” She swallowed heavily. “I wasn’t always like this.”

 

Pearl tilted her head, frowning. “What happened to you, then?”

 

Rose sighed, hung her head.

“I was in a really abusive relationship a few years ago. It’s... left its scars on me.”

 

Pearl’s mouth opened a little. Oh. _Oh._ “Sorry for making you bring it up. You really don’t need to talk about it if you don’t feel comfortable with it.”

 

“No, it’s okay. I... I _want_ to tell you – not because I want to excuse what I did, but maybe to explain it. If... you want to hear it. You don’t have to.”

 

Pearl nodded. “You heard me out when I was in a similar position literally just a few minutes ago, Rose. You let me in. I’m happy to hear you out. Feel free to stop at any point if it’s making you too upset, though.”

 

Rose nodded. “Thank you,” she said. “It was a few years ago, when I was doing my training. She was my supervisor. Jasper’s too, actually, we met back then. Don’t mention this to her, though, she doesn’t like talking about it. Anyway, Roxy was... so charming and gentle and just... good at getting close to you. It should’ve alarmed me even then, just how quickly she got close to me. And let me get close to her. I... I adored her, she was the most wonderful woman alive, and she knew that.”

 

“And you... realised that you can make other people crave you the way you craved her?” Pearl softly asked, without an ounce of accusation.

 

“Maybe I did. But that’s not all... she... she broke me, Pearl. We dated for a year. And as we got closer, she started... treating me differently. Like I was inherently inferior and would never find anyone better than her. She fat-shamed me to the point of an eating disorder and...” The tears were back. Rose reached for another tissue.

 

Pearl’s face seemed to change with every sentence Rose spoke. Her own experiences flashing behind her eyes like sparks, her feelings almost synching with the emotional notes behind Rose’s voice. She handed her the tissue. She didn’t interrupt this time.

 

Rose dabbed at her tears and then crumpled the tissue in her hands. Balling a fist around it. “She’d insult me and isolate me and... she kept me from seeing my dad when he fell ill and I had to... literally beg her to be allowed to go to his funeral and she didn’t speak to me for a week afterwards. But I had to stay, because I had no one else – or at least that’s what she led me to believe.”

 

“Oh.” Pearl managed to nod, finally. Pieces seemed to be falling into place as her understanding of Rose’s plight grew with every word. Memories suddenly made a little more sense.

 

“I... got away from her. Had to file a... literal lawsuit to get away from her. But it’s made me... look out for vulnerable people so much more. Wanting to protect them from what I was going through... not realising that maybe I was just as bad.” She swallowed.

 

“You aren’t.” Pearl finally replied. “It’s the express intent to hurt a person that matters, right? That’s the thing you can control. You can’t lie to yourself about that, either. I’m sorry I got the impression that you ever did. But even people with the best intentions hurt others. It happens.”

 

“Maybe I should have just left you alone. Or been there for you, but only strictly professionally. But... that’s not what you needed at the time. And... obviously, the person to give you what you needed... had to be me. I shouldn’t have thought so highly of myself that I thought I would be able to control this situation.”

 

It was at this point that Pearl exhaled a sigh of relief. “Honestly, Rose. You admitting that is... good. To me, anyway. I do forgive you. It’s not enough, though, to just dwell on the past. I do that a lot. Way too much, actually. It clouds a lot of my present. Do you want to move on, and be... civil, at least?”

 

“I’m... not easily going to forgive you getting me suspended,” Rose said, hesitantly. “But we can be civil. And... if you like, you could stay a while. The Crystal Gems are meeting this afternoon – you know about the Crystal Gems, right?”

 

“Sure.” Pearl could only shake her head. “Not at all. But... why don’t you tell me about it?”

 

 

 

 


	73. Act V - Chapter XXXVIII: Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long pause! We're going to try to get back to publishing biweekly now. Thank you for your patience and for sticking with us <3
> 
> Content warnings for this chapter: discussions of homophobia and abuse.

Pearl suddenly felt herself rather uncomfortable as more and more people she knew arrived to Rose’s. The seeping axiety appeared to be formed of the rather large volume of people in a rather enclosed space and the fact that they all appeared to... well... be _looking_  at her.

Once Amy showed up, Pearl finally found the courage to inquire. “Hey.”

“Yo.”

Pearl swallowed. “Everyone seems to... be watching me all weird.”

“Well, yeah. Rose told them what you did.”

“ _What?”_  Pearl’s eyes widened, “They... know?”

“Guess you just gotta deal with this one.”

“Fuck,” Pearl muttered under her breath and sat by Ruby and Sapphire - perhaps the only members of the room who weren’t somehow giving her the stink eye. “What did I miss?”

 “Well, the last time we got together, we just sort of all agreed that Diamond is awful and came up with a name,” Rose said. “We were brainstorming ideas of fighting her – but most of our actual legal case just went down the drain. Almost literally, isn’t that right, Aurora?”

Aurora, who’d been plagued with guilty feelings since the breakin, blushed.

“I thought you’d be okay with that,” she said.

“Well, yeah. I am, and I’m also very happy that Pearl here went and retracted her statement. But it means we’re kind of at a loss in terms of what to work with, doesn’t it?”

Lapis was perched on a sofa armrest, holding Jasper’s hand before pulling it up to brush her hair out of her face. “It may help to give us some context as to what you’re referring to. I don’t even know why we let _her_ in here.” She gave a little look at Pearl.

Pearl looked down. “I retracted my statement, like Rose said. I’m on your side, I guess. The Principal’s hurt me, too.”

Jasper frowned. “That’s not enough to change her mind. I know her, she’s not gonna let you off that easily. And what about that breakin? Did... any of you have something to do with that?”

Aurora winced and curled up on the sofa, burying her face in her hands.

“Yeah, we did it,” Amethyst said. “Don’t tell anyone, though.”

Lapis took a sharp inhale. “Shit,” she finally said. “What in the hell did you do?”

“I think they just said they broke in.” Peridot interjected, sunken behind Jasper on the sofa.

“Well. Yes, but... who? How? Jesus Christ, that takes balls.”

Jasper eyeballed Aurora for a second. “This is the kind of shit you and your twin would do back in the day. How haven’t you been apprehended by the police yet?”

Aurora lowered her hands for long enough to give a bitter laugh. “My impeccable planning, of course,” she said, “and a truckload of sheer dumb luck. But mostly luck.”

“It was fun,” Amethyst interjected cheerfully. “Man, we wrecked her shit.”

Rose cleared her throat. “You know, destruction of property isn’t really in my book when it comes to _fun_ ,” she said. Her voice was gentle, but there was a clear edge to it.

Amethyst swallowed, but said no more. Aurora decided to fill the silence that followed. “To those whom may not have been present in school to witness the aftermath, yes, there was a break in. Yes, we... Amy and I are responsible. I’m trusting everyone in this room not to go to the police about it.”

“We hate Marigold. It’s cool.” Lapis shrugged.

“Well, yes. Admittedly, we really should have ran it over with a third party. But what’s done is done. We just... messed up her office a little on impulse. Amy destroyed her laptop but... nothing of value was lost, to be honest. She’s a bit of a technophobe, so in reality we just broke her emailing machine and messed up her papers a little. I feel the most harm caused was probably a waste of time from the police and... to ruffle a few of her feathers.”

“Yeah! We got all _psychological_ on her!” Amethyst pumped her fist, and a few voices in the room gave a cheer.

“It wasn’t the best idea, retrospectively,” Rose said mildly. “You two know that, right?”

Aurora grimaced. “Yeah.”

“Why not?” Ruby chimed in. “Rori just said, no harm done, not really – and they didn’t get caught, so what was so bad about it? Diamond’s had it coming for ages!”

Sapphire, Lapis and Amethyst nodded at that.

“I saw her in the office today, though... she wasn’t doing well.” Aurora sighed.

“That might’ve been because I gave my letter in, though.” Pearl replied.

“No.” Peridot interjected, a little louder this time. “I saw her too. I was too... scared to go up to her, but think about it. She obviously at least cares about this school enough. Now she thinks someone in the student body hates her enough to do something this big. And they’re still out there.”

“I’m also worried she did spot me.” Aurora finally sighed. “We did... make eye contact. But she spoke to me on the phone later that night and... didn’t bring it up. Hasn’t since then, either.”

Pearl frowned at this. “Well, if she’s so freaked out by all this and knows at least one of the people involved... why hasn’t she apprehended Rori?”

Amy shot an awkward look to Aurora, who paled.

Pearl carried on. “She obliterated Rose because of anecdotal evidence from me of all people. What makes Aurora so special?”

“Yeah,” Ruby said, “that is strange.”

Rose shot a look at Jasper. Jasper looked at Lapis. Lapis glanced at Amethyst.

Amethyst looked at Aurora. Aurora looked mortified.

Pearl was still not about to stop, though. “Well? What’s going on, Rori?”

“Who’s gonna say it?” Lapis said, quietly.

Aurora gave a whimper. “Please don’t.”

Peridot spoke up once again. “I feel we’re getting off topic. I’m pretty sure that the break in was kind of fucked up.”

Aurora gave a little sigh of relief, before fading it away to a look of shame. “I don’t think we did a good thing.”

Amethyst flopped backwards. “Why do we even need to fight about it? We got her _good_. I deserve to see her in pain. Aurora of all people deserves to see her in pain. I don’t see the problem.”

“But that still doesn’t explain-“ Pearl started.

Rose interrupted her. “You can’t fight fire with fire,” she said. “But nevertheless, what’s done is done. We need to decide what we want to do now.”

“You mean, other than make her _more_ uncomfortable?” Amethyst said.

“Or maybe we shouldn’t do that,” Aurora said softly.

“Jesus Christ Aurora, what is your deal?” Pearl snapped. “Why do you keep defending her? I thought you were here because you hated her, too.”

Aurora grimaced. “I just... don’t feel it was appropriate. I’m going to be thirty in just a few years and... I really shouldn’t be letting my dumb revenge fantasies get this far. I could have put myself in a lot of danger. Amy, too. And...” She balled her fists. “I care about her. Even after what she’s done to me.”

Pearl still looked confused. “What _has_ she done to you?”

Aurora froze again.

Amethyst noticed, and sighed.

“Maybe you should just tell them,” she said gently. “Seeing as... I’m pretty sure half of us already know.”

“Already know what?” Pearl demanded.

Aurora looked at the room and then the ground and repeated that a few times. “Okay. Fine. I’m... yeah. That might clear up the air a bit. Uh. I have... something I’d like to tell you all about myself before we continue the meeting.” She stiffened a little. “I hope... it won’t change the way you all feel about me.”

Amethyst gave the most exasperated noise. “Holy fucking shit, Rori. You fucked a granny. It’s not exactly manslaughter.”

Pearl could only nod in response. “I fully support your granny fetish, Aurora.”

Her palm was up to her face. Aurora closed her eyes. “Oh my God, no-“

“Wait. Which granny?” Pearl tilted her head, confused.

Amethyst clicked her fingers, “The big yellow.”

“Oh my God,” Pearl whispered as the rest of the uninformed members of the room gave a gasp. “Wait. Who’s-“

“ _Principal Diamond,_ ” Aurora finally snapped. “I have slept with Marigold Grace Diamond. I have been in a sexually active relationship with Principal Diamond. My... my life was taken over by... Principal Diamond.”

A long moment of stunned silence followed.

“I knew it,” Lapis said, her voice unimpressed to the point of boredom.

“You did?” Peridot asked.

“C’mon, it was kind of obvious,” Lapis said, “they went home together all the time, and the – no offense, Aurora, but you’ve got to learn how to conceal your hickeys better. Jasper could probably give you some tips.”

Pearl had sunk down on her seat, staring at Aurora.

“You... and her,” she said.

“I was going to tell you sooner, but... the good time never seems to come up, huh?” Aurora swallowed. “If it’s... okay, I’d quite like to tell you about our relationship. Not to really whine but more to... perhaps understand Marigold Diamond.”

“She hurt you, Aurora. You don’t need to make them understand.” Amy sniffed.

“It’s why I have to.” Aurora put her hand on Amethyst’s shoulder. As if herself reaching for stability. Amy noticed her hand shaking. “Marigold and I began dating shortly after I finished sixth form and graduated. I had shortly come into her employment before our first encounter.”

She carried on. “What you need to know about her is that she’s... deeply in fear of her homosexuality. It controls a lot of how she sees herself and how she sees others. I’m not going to tell you to understand, but... from many of you being queer women yourselves, I should hope you could perhaps... empathise with her plight.”

“I’m not going to excuse her homophobia,” Lapis piped up. “I don’t care if she’s secretly gay or not. Hatred exists in a bubble like that, and it’s up to her. It’s up to her more than any of us with the responsibility she holds.”

“Fine. Okay, hold her accountable. You have all right to. And I’m sure what I have to say will only serve to perhaps upset you more.” Aurora’s grip on Amy grew more clammy. She felt cold sweat on the back of her neck. “But... I’m already upset at myself for outing her to you all. She made me promise to swear secrecy and live in fear of absolutely anyone discovering our relationship. But I also... understand that she’s a very religious woman who’s struggling to catch up to us.”

“Then maybe she needs a cold splash of reality.” Pearl rolled her eyes. “It’s taken me far less time to realise that literally no one cares if you’re gay. Except for people like her.”

“I care.” Jasper sniffed. “Pearl, what you gotta understand is that I’m still terrified to hold Lapis’ hand sometimes. It scares us older folks.”

“Well... I guess it used to scare me, too.” Pearl frowned. “But I take it that you were gonna tell us a little about your experience of dating her. I’m kind of interested. Can you... carry on with that, Aurora?”

Aurora’s hands were still shaking.

“It went on for years,” she said, “and she – she was drunk most of the time, for starters. And managed to keep up a pretty solid relationship with me while also being an alcoholic and giving off the impression that she hated me the moment she was no longer drunk. It was... it wasn’t nice. And just before Christmas, she went cold turkey. And... and completely dropped me. Out of the blue.” She clenched her teeth. “And only afterwards I started to realise how... fucked up it all was. She isolated me, barely allowed me to have a life outside her at points. She... abused me, there really is no other way of saying it, she really did, when she was sober. ...well, not just when she was sober, but...”

She stopped, bit back a sob. Pressed her lips together in an effort not to cry.

“Hey. Thanks for telling us.” Jasper said from her corner. “That takes balls. I’m sorry it’s been that shitty.”

“I had no idea.” Pearl finally managed to cough up a word before slinking back down. Gazing around the room in a daze, as if the fabric of reality itself was melting slightly.

“Well. I suppose that does mean we should do something.” Jasper nodded. “I feel that this isn’t a problem that’s very recent. Us older members of staff and students who have attended from a few years ago can agree that Marigold Diamond’s behavior to LGBT folks isn’t acceptable. But... now having it secured that it appears to be coming from a place of self denial and hatred....”

“I can relate to that last part.” Lapis shrugged. “I think it’s something a lot of us have had to go through when we realised we were gay as shit.”

“We could go to the authorities.” Rose said. “All of us. Pearl showed us that if you yell problematic at the correct people, you can really screw some lives over and not catch any reprecussions.”

Pearl looked down at this, guilty. But Aurora was the one to counter. “Acts of homophobia may be illegal, but she’s covered her tracks very well. She only seems to get openly hostile when she has something else to latch onto. I don’t know how much the law can help us.”

“Well. If the problem is her being scared of being gay... why don’t we just tell everyone she’s gay?” Amy shrugged. “No one cares. She’ll see that and learn.”

“Well, she practically outed Sapphire and me to the entire school when she caught us kissing that one time,” Ruby said tentatively. “She deserves a taste of her own medicine.”

Sapphire nodded, her expression unreadable, but Pearl knew that Sapphire was just _very_ good at hiding her anger.

Peridot, however, looked up.

“That doesn’t sound right,” she said. “Outing someone without their consent is bad. Even if she... maybe deserves it, in this case, it would still be. Not... great.”

Rose hesitantly agreed. “I wouldn’t want to be outed in front of everyone,” she said. “Even if I’d done something wrong. I mean... I _have_ done something wrong, and would probably deserve it. But it feels cruel.”

“I think what would probably help her more is gently realising that it’s okay to be who she is. It doesn’t help she was raised a hardcore Catholic. Just... imagine how scared and freaked out you were when you first started to figure yourself out. How freaky it was to even know other queer people existed around you.” Aurora swallowed. “Look around the room. You’re all fucking gay.”

“Actually, I’m bisexual.” Peridot cleared her throat.

“Okay.” Aurora nodded. “But think of the ways you got to being to the place you are today. Not all of you are still comfortable with yourselves.” She looked at Pearl. “And that’s okay. I’m still... I’m still confused, too. But imagine trying to figure it out a long time ago and not having any of those social supports. Imagine it being illegal. Imagine it being forbidden by the one moral code you’ve clung to all your life.”

“Are you really defending someone you just claimed abused you?” Ruby seemed baffled.

“No! Maybe? I don’t know...” Aurora felt herself grow flustered. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that... the only way we can expect a humane and healthy change is... By treating Marigold Diamond like the terrified and confused human being she really is. If that involves calling her out for her abuse, so be it. But I also want to... do something that will also be a springboard for her to come to terms with her own homosexuality.”

“Because that’s the only way she’s going to change for the better.” Rose replied, gently; putting a soft arm on Aurora’s shoulder. “I agree.”

“Ugh, I hate this,” Ruby said. “Why do we have to be the bigger person about this? We’re the bigger person _all the time_! Just once it’d be nice to see her actually pay for what she did to us.”

“I agree with Ruby,” Sapphire said, “however, what you’re saying does make sense.”

“You’re actually going to go along with it? Sapphire, that woman had me thrown out for holding your hand!” Ruby threw up their arms.

“I know that, Ruby. But maybe this way, we can actually make a difference. For future students, if not for our,” she pulled a face, “esteemed Principal herself. Aurora, what do you have in mind? You know her best.”

“I... I don’t know.” Aurora sighed. “That’s where I’m stumped for now. I feel that... maybe what we should do is really spend the time between this session and the next reflecting on our own experiences and thinking of the support systems that were in place. And even... even if they don’t hold up and challenge Marigold, maybe we can somehow set them up in the school to... help the future queer kids under her tyranny.”

Ruby nodded. “Actually, yeah, shifting focus for now might be a good idea.”

“It might promote visibility enough to make Diamond at least give up.” Sapphire added. “I don’t know if I can agree to any plan that revolves itself around the help of an abuser. I hate to sound cold but... I don’t want to benefit her at this point.”

“Which is fair enough,” Rose conceded. “So, any ideas for support systems?”

“Nightline,” Ruby said immediately. “It’s something that’s big at uni, and I wish I had at school. Just a phone line that you can call if you need to vent, or need help or information on resources, all that stuff. We can even not target it specifically at LGBT students, just put it up in places Diamond won’t see and see if people call in.”

“That’s a great idea,” Sapphire said, smiling at Ruby warmly. “But who’s going to man it?”

“I can. At least for now.” Aurora gave a nod. “I can handle it, and I think that once it’s established, I can probably get some volunteers and train them up. I can set something up and running before the end of the year when I leave and then see if I can recruit someone to take over.”

“Can you do it on your own?” Rose asked, frowning. “I mean – you have your own work to do as well, don’t you? If you want, I can help out, at least as long as I’m still suspended.”

“You probably won’t be for very long,” Pearl said. “Diamond lost the entire case against you. Literally lost it, by which I mean it was stolen. Obviously. But anyway. She’s got nothing, and she should be reinstating you.”

 “I can still help,” Rose said. “For as long as I can.”

“We’ve got exams coming up, so I don’t think we can offer much assistance,” Ruby said. Sapphire nodded.

“But two people should be enough for now,” Rose said. “Especially if we set up, like, office hours or something.”

“I’ll do some reasearch onto it. I’ll have to specify it’s more of a vent than advice kind of ordeal but... we could make a difference.” Aurora sighed. “And... maybe... that might change something.”

 

 

 

 


	74. Act V - Chapter XXXIX: Breathe

 

After the meeting was over and visitors gently began to slink away, Pearl found herself lagging behind despite the discomfort she still held with staying at Rose's home. But... there was a problem. She had skived yet again to get to Rose's, and this time she was sure her parents would know.

She found herself pacing between asking those who hadn't yet left, and ending up facing Amy.

"Hey. Is... Rori still here?"

 

Amy looked up.

"Yeah, I think she's just gone to the bathroom or something," she said. "She wouldn't leave without me, I mean, she's got the car."

Her words were confirmed when Aurora stepped out of the bathroom, giving Amy a shaky smile. "Shall we?" she asked. "Oh, hi, Pearl."

 

"Hey." Pearl swallowed. "Uh. Weird... request. Can I, maybe... um. Stay at yours?"

 

Aurora didn't need to be told any more. "Of course," she said. "Are you okay?"

 

"Skived school. I'm pretty sure office saw me since the security is up and probably called home. They did the last time I skipped class."

 

"Well, as much as I don't appreciate you skiving, I'm sure you had a good reason." Aurora glanced at the door to the living room, where Rose was. "We can head off anytime. Thanks for having us, Rose."

 

"Oh. I need to get my bag, I think I left it in the living room." Pearl blinked. "I'll be right back. You own the... yellow Mini outside, right?"

 

"Yeah, that's the one."

"I'll wait for you," Amy offered.

In the living room, Rose was cleaning up. She looked up when Pearl came in.

"Are you off then?" she asked gently.

 

"Yeah. I've been repairing my relationship with Aurora, too, and she's okay with taking me back to hers. " Pearl picked up her bag. "Thanks for... being so nice. I appreciate it a lot."

 

"I appreciate all you did today, too, Pearl." Rose smiled, then held her arms out for a hug.

 

 

Pearl stepped back a little. "Maybe not right now." She looked at Rose's arms. "But thanks. I'll see you around. Hopefully... at school, soon."

 

"Okay." Rose did not let her disappointment show. "See you soon."

"Yo, P, what's taking so long?" Amy called from the door.

 

"I'm coming!" Pearl yelled back, turning around and leaving the room. "Sorry. Just wanted to say bye to Rose."

 

"Sounds like you're all chummy again," Amethyst said. "Is she not mad at you for, I dunno, getting her fired? I mean, technically you didn't, and you did what you could to fix that, but I wouldn't have thought she'd forgive you this easily."

 

"That's between her and I, Amy," Pearl replied, looking away. "I am grateful she's even talking to me, though."

 

"Yeah, okay. Forget I said anything." Amy held the door open for Pearl and then went to the mini parked out front. "Let's go," she said.

 

"Oh, yes. I've admired it from afar. Aurora...." Pearl looked the car up and down. "May I ask what exactly you were smoking when you decided to swap cars."

 

"Heartbreak, mostly," Aurora said, "but also probably some weed. Marigold got me the old one, so I decided it wasn't the right car for me."

 

"I can understand that." Pearl replied, buckling herself in. "Can I possibly steal dinner with you guys? I'll pay you back when... I'm rich and famous?"

 

"Don't worry about it," Aurora said. "I can set up the couch for you. Unless...?" She shot a look at Amethyst.

Amy blushed. "Up to you," she told Pearl.

 

"I don't mind. What's the comfiest option?"

 

"In my bed," Amy said. "Duh. I don't even necessarily have to share it with you."

 

Pearl rolled her eyes. "Why don't we play it by ear and see how it goes?"

 

"Sounds good." A joint would probably decide that situation for them. Not that Amy was really opposed to that. Technically.

"What's for dinner, Rori?"

 

"Leftovers," Aurora said. "If you want something else, feel free to make something. Though I'm not too sure what we have." She took a moment to compose herself before starting the car. She was thoroughly exhausted from the day.

 

"I'm good with leftovers. Aurora knows how to cook well." Pearl smiled, before watching the view from the window. She scarcely went to this part of town nowadays - par meeting Amy.

 

 

Once they were home, Amethyst went to the kitchen to retrieve the food, leaving Pearl and Aurora alone.

Aurora was very aware of that. Suddenly, the room was all too warm.

"Sorry you had to find out this way," she said softly. "I was going to tell you before - about Marigold."

 

Pearl grew stiff, taking a moment to breathe before replying. "I take it that... it was what you were going to tell me about when you caught me the other morning."

 

"Yeah. It's... you gave me the option not to tell you, and it was the easy way out at the time," Aurora said. "It's still... not something I'm used to, actually talking about it."

 

"It doesn't seem like an easy thing to bring up. It must've been difficult to stand up like that." Pearl sounded gentle. "I'm sorry if I ever unknowingly gave you a hard time about it. I should've... realised you were hurting. Is all this why... you didn't come to visit me in hospital? When I... had the leg accident. Not my eating disorder..."

 

"Yeah," Aurora said bitterly. "She wouldn't let me leave. I mean... I don't know if she did it intentionally. But anytime I planned to see you, something would come up. That she needed me for, urgently. To the point where it can't have been just a coincidence. I... should have tried harder. But if there's someone who has that much power over you..."

She let the sentence trail off. Sighed. "I'm sorry."

 

"I didnt know there was someone controlling you like that. I'm sorry for lashing out," Pearl replied, shuffling as she sat down on a chair.

 

"Nobody knew. She made sure of that. I told Blue, but other than that I wasn't allowed to tell anyone. To protect Marigold, ostensibly. But that isolated me, too." Aurora sighed. "I don't know what would have happened if she hadn't given up drinking."

 

"I'm surprised you haven't called the authorities on her." Pearl then groaned. "Sorry. That's. Insensitive. You probably had your reasons."

 

"I probably should have, back when it first started," Aurora said. "But... I'm sure you can understand being completely infatuated with someone, to the point of being blind to all their flaws."

 

"Yeah." Pearl laughed bitterly. "Do you think that's genetic?"

 

Aurora chuckled, but grew serious again quickly. "Probably. As is the liking for, ah, slightly more mature partners. It's a good thing Blue has Azure or I'd give up hope on any of us ever having a functional relationship."

 

"I can't believe we're all fucking gay. Do you know how insecure I was about that until... basically this year? Geeze."

 

Aurora sighed. "I can't believe Blue never told you. But then, you've not been on the best of terms for a while, have you? And I just... never thought about it. I was so used to keeping everything secret that revealing anything would have felt like saying too much."

 

"I guess I can understand that. I really am sorry for making everything so awkward when you were going through such a rough time. The last thing you needed to deal with was my eating disorder." Pearl sighed and offered her arms out for a hug. "But you did."

 

Aurora accepted the hug. "I had to," she said. "Who else would have looked out for you? Not mom and dad, that's for sure."

 

Pearl grew uneasy and wriggled away at the mention of her parents. "Yeah. They sure... wouldn't have done anything."

 

"Are you... safe there at the moment?" Aurora asked, alarmed by Pearls sudden shift in demeanour. She feared she already knew the answer.

 

"There's a reason I'm here." Pearl looked away. "It's alright. I'm moving out of home in a few months anyway if I get into university."

 

"Well, until then, you can crash here whenever you need to," Aurora said. "I'm sure Amethyst won't have any problem with it."

"You talkin' about me?" Amy called from the kitchen.

 

"We sure are." Pearl yelled back. "We'll be there in a sec!"

 

Aurora smiled at Pearl. "Shall we, then? Let's not keep her waiting."

 

"Alright." Pearl returned with a little beam.

 

For the first time in a while, she found she could breathe properly again.

 

 


	75. Act V – Chapter XL: Pride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: mentions of drugs, homophobia and transphobia.

 

Marigold Diamond woke up uneasy that particular early March day.

Being a fairly proactive person, she immediately shoved the mere notion of negativity aside and poured herself a double espresso. She sipped it while examining the grey of the sky, her car stuck in traffic.

She hated traffic. But not as much as Marigold Diamond utterly loathed being late.

Which she was, at least to her usual standard, by approximately ten minutes. Students were already beginning to file in.

Marigold frowned. Too many students. Way too early.

Suspicious. She couldn’t recall any trips. Perhaps a homework assignment had been due for several classes at once. But even then, gaggles of girls stood by the gates.

Tentatively, she locked her car door. An odd anxiety boiling in her belly as she approached the front office entrance.

 

 

Girls stood outside the door, flocked together, whispering. Eyes darted towards Marigold, and as she approached, they fell silent.

 

 

Marigold swallowed. They’d looked at her in that unpleasant way.

It made her insides feel chill, her throat seizing. She found her fists in small balls.

Despite being decades their senior, experience, and her authority, she was truly scared shitless by teenagers sometimes.

She scowled a little, wondering whether to exert her dominance. Call them out for staring. Detention? No, she couldn’t find a reason to justify it.

_They deserve to be punished for looking at me like that._

She swallowed.

This was dumb. People looked at one another. That was typical human nature. She couldn’t control that. Marigold tried to inhale as she attempted to mentally retrace her steps. The traffic. The coffee. The anxiety. It was just making her antsy.

The girls weren’t worth her time. Heck, it was likely that they weren’t even really watching her.

_I’m making it up. I’m causing a big fuss because my office was broken into. Don’t look back. You’re going to make a spectacle of yourself, you dumb goose._

 

Inside, there seemed to be even more students. Unusual, for a time like this, and they didn’t seem like they were worried, or studying – no, instead they seemed excited.

More glances came Marigold’s way. A small group of teenage girls openly followed her with their eyes and then, as soon as she’d passed them, burst into laughter.

 

This was enough to make Marigold finally turn around. No. That wasn’t a coincidence. They were laughing at her. Her breaths turning a smidgeon more erratic, she observed her clothes. Her fly wasn’t down. Her shirt was tucked in. Not a speck on her blazer.

She even spied herself in the reflection of a window, terrified of possible menstrual bleed-through.

_Jesus, Marigold. You’re literally done with your menopause._

And yet, her terror remained. She quickly stripped off her blazer, mid stride, checking it for stains. Even her route to the office shifted, trying to avoid more students.

It was perhaps by the fact that she was desperately evading that she came across others trying to evade sight, too. Primarily, Buck Dewey standing beside another sixth former who galloped away at the mere sight of the Principal in the locker area.

Buck Dewey was not nearly as fortunate.

“And a good morning to you, _Beatrice._ ” The Principal curled a lip. “What are you up to?”

 

“O-oh, hi, Principal,” he said. “And it’s – it’s Buck now, actually. Uh.” He desperately tried to slip whatever he was holding back into his bag. Subtly. He failed. “Weather’s nice, huh?” he said loudly. “So nice to have the sun come out again.”

 

“Whatever it is, I won’t hear it until I see some proper identification.” Marigold waved a hand dismissively, but then pried into Buck’s body language. “What are you hiding, young woman? Show your bag to me.”

 

Buck visibly flinched when Marigold called him a ‘woman’. “Nothing. It’s all just, er, regular stuff.” He shuffled in front of his bag, shielding it from Marigold’s glare.

 

“Give it here.” It wasn’t a request. She stared him down.

It appeared she’d stumbled upon some form of _transaction._

 

Buck handed over his bag, unwilling to meet Diamond’s eyes. “There’s, uh, a bottle of water in there,” he said, “very dangerous. You wouldn’t be able to fly with that.”

 

Marigold remained unsmiling. She opened the bag and glanced in. It appeared pretty much the regular contents of a student bag until her eyes focused on a tiny square inside a sealable plastic bag. The square wasn’t much bigger than her fingernail, and appeared to have a tiny picture of a cartoon character printed on it.

She picked it out, dangling it in front of Buck. “My, my. And what have we here?”

 

 

“Breathmint.” Buck held her gaze steadily, sweating.

 

“Oh? And should I eat it?” She called his bluff straight away. “Haven’t had a breath mint with... what is that, Adventure Time....? Characters on it.”

 

“I-if you want, Principal. Can I have my bag back, please?”

 

She returned the bag. It was time to get to the office and finally escape further... voyeurism from the students. Besides, judging from the line of sweat on Buck’s face, she figured she’d had her fun. “You’ll be hearing from me later.”

 

Buck took his chance and legged it.

Several more students were practically lying in wait around the Principal’s office. As soon as they saw Marigold, phones were taken out. Whispering ensued, and then, as Diamond passed, silence.

“Don’t you have anywhere better to be? This area is off limits.” It wasn’t. ”Shoo.” She huffed, slamming the door as she finally found herself with some privacy.

Something was most certainly going on. Too many stares. Too little fear. What sort of conspiracy even was this? Was it related to the break-in? She’d still found herself empty handed on the pursuit of that, too.

She made eye contact with Aurora as she stepped in the room, and once again her memory spun to that awful night. Not much of it remained in her mind past a familiar set of near golden eyes she found herself staring at.

_Aurora did not break into your office._

Or, at least, she found herself repeatedly affirming that in her head. Loose thoughts scattering and further spilling into the reservoir of paranoia. Why was she working so hard to believe it wasn’t Aurora?

Aurora was too sweet. Aurora wouldn’t. She couldn’t. Her mind had likely made the vision up.

She bitterly grunted to herself. Perhaps she’d seen Aurora for a split second that night because... Aurora was what she had wanted to see.

 _That’s disgusting. I’m disgusting._ She found her palm quivering a little. _No. You’re not like that._

“Aurora, would you turn the kettle on? I need a tea after this morning.”

 

“Sure, Principal.” Aurora got up and busied herself in their little kitchen area. “Did something happen?”

 

“Just the usual grievances.” Marigold attempted to roll her eyes. Anything to mask her torment. “Although... I must say, I do feel something odd must be happening in the student body. There’s so many of them for such an early hour. And so many near the office - did you see them? It’s like we’re feeding stray cats tuna. Almost as if they’re... eager to come in.”

 

Aurora didn’t meet her eyes.

“I hadn’t noticed, Principal.” She took out two mugs – habit – and teabags. “We’re nearly out of milk.”

 

“I’ll pick up a new thing of it. What alternative do you want this time?” Oh. Aurora was being... tactile, for once. Or, at the very least, quiet and obedient. Too quiet. Marigold didn’t know if she liked it or not. “I’ve been eyeing up the oatmilk.”

 

“I don’t mind. I’ve heard coconut is good.” The kettle boiled. Aurora poured two mugs. She knew how Marigold took her tea.

She set the mug down in front of Marigold. “Is there anything else I can help you with, Principal?”

 

Marigold remained frowning. “You... really didn’t notice the abnormal amount of students at eight am? I don’t recall anything going on today at all.”

_Aurora can’t be in on it. She wouldn’t be._

Marigold stiffened, all paranoid thoughts returning at full force.

_If I can’t trust her... who can I trust?_

She glanced at Aurora with suspicion, her cheeks beginning to burn. No. She _paid_ Aurora to work here. She had authority in this school. It was her sanctuary.

The thought of some form of mutiny made her insides chill again. No. She stared at Aurora. “There’s nothing happening, yes?”

 

Aurora drew in a quiet breath. She forced herself to look at the Principal, and put on an innocent smile. “Not to my knowledge, Principal. Why would you think that?”

 

Marigold grew stiller.

Before taking a sharp inhale, her face crumpling as if she were about to cry.

She then took another breath and her face had transformed itself into a stony expression. Her voice was cold. Quiet. “I don’t _know,_ Aurora. Could it perhaps be the fact that my office was literally broken into? That my things were stolen? _Broken?”_ She found her voice raising, the noises she made were becoming ever more shrill by the syllable. “Could it be the fact that for the past few days, I have received nothing but stares, only for them to get worse _today?”_

Her breathing had turned ragged. Her entire body shaking as she took looming steps towards Aurora. “Could it be the fact that my secretary decided to abandon my friendship with her on a whim? With no choice or explaination? Could it be the fact that _despite that_ , I still have to talk to you? I still have to pay you? _Aurora Jaune,”_  She was close enough to Aurora to perhaps begin a tango. Seething. “I hate you. Leave this office. Now.”

 

Aurora didn’t move. Tears were gathering in the corners of her eyes from just how much it _hurt_ , hearing Marigold say that.

Even though she _knew_ it wasn’t true.

She stood her ground,

“Well,” she said, her voice thick. “It wasn’t me who poured all your alcohol down a drain while you had to watch. _You_ threw this relationship away, not me. I was only ever a victim. _Principal._ ”

 

“Is that what you’re so trifled with? Heavens, I don’t even remember that evening!” A red hot fury bore over her mind. “But what I can remember is you begging, _pleading_ me to stop.” She took another step forward, forcing Aurora to back into the wall. “ _We didn’t have a relationship._ I was chasing temptation, and now I’m not. You were the one to abandon me. You... you changed your number when I needed you. When I _was_ sobering up, like you asked.”

Marigold felt her cheeks wet. She hadn’t realised she was crying. This was enough to make her back away. “Go. Leave. Get our of my sight.” Her voice registered as shaky now.

 

Aurora couldn’t hold back the tears. Just like Marigold. “I never asked you to abandon me. I never asked you to quit cold turkey. I’m not the one who ruined our _relationship,_ Marigold, I was the only reason it kept going as long as it did! I – I –“ She broke down. Grabbed a tissue from her desk and blew her nose. “I _loved_ you and you won’t even admit we _had_ a relationship.”

 

This was enough. She didn’t want Aurora to watch her cry. She didn’t want to watch Aurora cry. “I thought I told you to get _out!_ ”

 

Aurora stared her down, tears still flowing. “You don’t have that kind of power over me anymore, Marigold. I’m not scared of you.”

 

Marigold turned around and left the room, wordless. Head pounding. A part of her felt tempted to just run. Run, quit and never return.

However, Marigold had indeed mastered ignoring temptation.

She’d taken to patrolling when angry. If it was war the student body wanted, then it was war it would get.

 

Pearl noticed Marigold angrily pacing as she came into the school.

Today was already going to be... interesting.

As she approached the Principal, she thought that Diamond’s eyeliner wasn’t quite as astute as usual.

“Principal,” she said with in sweetest tone she could muster, “I have another letter for you. You know, the same one as the one I gave you yesterday? I heard you lost that one, so I got you a replacement.” She waved the papers in Marigold’s face.

 

Marigold snatched them, stared Pearl down, and tore the stack in two before crumpling the shreds into a ball and throwing them onto the floor. “ _Leave me ALONE!”_  She yelled into Pearls’s face and strode off, boiling.

Before long, though, she found her face growing wet again.

_Oh._

Crying in front of Aurora was already despicable enough for her. Doing so in front of any students seemed to be social suicide. Her salvation came in the form of the staff restrooms, to which she strode into and immediately sprinted into a cubicle to calm down.

 

Peridot saw her disappear, and decided to follow her. Just to... watch her. And potentially lead her in the right direction.

She washed her hands, initially to kill time, but as she thought about the situation more, the motions became more nervous.

 

Marigold, now slightly more composed, quickly grew suspicious of the sound of water for a solid five minutes. “Is... is someone out there?”

 

Peridot jumped. “Just m-me, Principal,” she said quickly. “Peridot. Uh. I’m just... washing my hands.”

 

“Oh.” She wiped off her eyeliner, now utterly smudged, off with a wipe from her pocket. “Seems an awfully long time to... Be doing that.”

 

Peridot panicked. “I – uh – I get sensory overload a lot!” she blurted. “I’m not here to keep tabs on you! Why would I do that!” And with that, she turned off the faucet and scampered outside, where she leaned against the wall, trying not to freak out.

 

Marigold found herself chasing the young teacher down. Her face felt barren. She managed to just pluck Peridot by her shoulder. “So. You were keeping tabs on me?”

 

“N-no I wasn’t! Okay maybe a little but only because we weren’t sure if you’d seen it yet!” stammered Peridot, looking up at Diamond fearfully.

 

Marigold frowned. Was this it? “Seen... _what?_ ”

 

Peridot slumped, hung her head. “I’ll show you,” she said, defeated. “It’s – it’s really nothing bad.”

 

Marigold softened a little as she followed, finding herself in the direction of the gym. “At least you’re not denying that there’s something going on. What is it, then? Some sort of student affair I wasn’t informed about?”

 

“In a sense,” Peridot said cautiously, “but... several members of staff are involved as well.” She made her way to the gym in the comforting knowledge that Lapis and Jasper would protect her.

“We’re here,” she said, holding the door open for Marigold.

 

Marigold stepped in, her eyes widening. The gym had been set up as if it was some sort of party - streamers, balloons and posters hugged the walls and ceilings. Several stands had also set up.

And absolutely everything was covered in rainbows.

“ _What on Earth..._.” she whispered, craning her neck forward. Her voice suddenly turned cold. “Who is responsible for this?”

 

“It’s Pride,” Peridot said, her voice small. “We thought the students needed something to keep morale up for the exams... and we have a large number of queer staff and students... and we just wanted to show people, that it’s okay, and good and that you can celebrate it, and you’re... more than welcome to join, Principal.” She spotted Jasper at the other end of the gym, staring at the Principal wide-eyed before seeing Peridot and jogging over.

 

Marigold spent another second taking in the excited students; some of them had taken to painting flags on their faces. The stalls looked... almost interesting.

All looked happy.

Par Marigold.

Jasper had no time to speak to her as she swiftly turned on her heel and stomped away. She needed to get out. She was losing control. Of the school. Of the student body, the teachers. She found herself crying again.

_Stop that. Stop that right now. You’ve done that twice now. You look pathetic. Stop._

Girls were looking at her as she passed them by. It was nearly nine, the school filling in. Some had turned up in rainbow themed clothes. Marigold tried to outrun her urge to scream at them, to tell them to get back into uniform.

But... for the first time, she found herself surrounded. Overpowered. Outmanned. She had no power to stop this. The students. That cursed pride event. Her own breakdown.

Aurora was still in the front area to the office, but Marigold barely registered her at this point.

_They should be hating themselves. Those girls shouldn’t be happy. They shouldn’t be allowed to be happy. They’re sick. They’re sick, Marigold. Get a hold of yourself and go out there and bring a stop to it._

She was finally in her office. Alone. She slammed the door into her inner cubicle with enough force to regret it after one of the hinges rattled a little dangerously. Her desperate, frantic thoughts begged for an outlet. She wanted to hurt something, someone.

She wanted to do nothing more in this precise second than to drink. Drink until her throat burnt. Drink until she was sick.

Drink until it all just _ended._

“ _Whatever!_ ” she screamed, stomping into the now near cleaned office. She found herself rummaging her desk cupboards, all the places she used to store alcohol. Fine. That was it. Screw sobriety. She didn’t want to be sober.

No one showed her affection when sober. No one loved her while she was sober.

But, of course. No alcohol remained. It had been the case for months.

She gave a loud, painful scream and proceeded to angrily open her drawers and throw papers onto the floor, all while continuously both sobbing and yelling, frustrated.

She only stopped as her fingers reached Claire’s will, still in its stash.

Her eyes narrowed. The thin layer of dust bore fingerprints.

She hadn’t touched it in years.

Bizarre. This was all surreal. The day. The argument. The stares. She placed the will back into the drawer and slid her hands in her pockets, determined to lock the papers away from prying eyes.

However, as her hand reached for the desk key, she found herself pulling out the small square she’d confiscated from Buck.

Marigold Diamond knew very little about drugs. She’d confiscated enough of them in her time, of course, to know the potent smells and obvious effects of nonalcoholic intoxication. Azure had once upon a time gone through a phase, back when they’d both still played Bridge, of following Roxy to clubs and bars in their youth and filled Marigold in with stories of trips and sensations alcohol could never even begin to bring.

She inspected the small square. What even was it? It had no smell. It barely existed. What sort of dosage even was it?

_Why are you even wondering about this? This is a waste of time. You have things to do._

Executive dysfunction held her in place like a stuck marionette.

_It’s obviously some form of drug. Heroin? No, I don’t think that’s what... what do children even consume nowadays? What did they do in the clubs. Oh. Ecstasy? Yes, that must be it._

Despite her soaked face, she found herself smiling for a brief second. Ecstasy seemed preferable to this disarray of broken and burning emotions.

_Don’t. This is incredibly silly. You really shouldn’t even be touching it. You should go and call the police department, right now. Tell them that you found a student with drugs._

She looked at the telephone, and then at the tab.

_The police will come in. They’ll sort this out._

She began to walk towards the phone before pausing.

_And what then?_

It would take a while for the police to arrive.

_That doesn’t matter. Just call._

She’d have Buck apprehended.

_And then I’ll go back to this._

_Back to this._

_Back to this..._

Marigold looked around the room and swallowed the tablet.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here starts an arc that's been in the making for about a year and a half... We're so excited to finally publish it!! Hold on tight it's gonna be a ride :D


	76. Act V – Chapter XLI: Come up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Drugs, mentions of transphobia and homophobia.

 

Immediately, regret.

Excitement.

Terror.

The room began to spin, and it felt difficult to breathe. She’d never done drugs. She’d never even smoked. It was the first time she found herself on the brink of possible intoxication in months.

And yet...

She felt exactly the same.

“Oh.”

Perhaps it would kick in momentarily. She looked at her watch and then at her fingers and considered vomiting.

The tab was small, thin and papery. There was likely little point. She found herself slowly sinking to the floor, cross legged.

Everything still felt... normal.

She jumped as she heard a banging on the door. Aurora.

 

Aurora heard no response, so let herself in and closed the door behind her.

“Marigold?” she said softly. “Are you – I mean – I’m sorry for how I acted earlier – I just saw you come in and I got... are you okay?”

 

 

“...Yes.” Marigold looked around shiftily.

_Oh Lord in Heaven, am I high? Do I look high? Am I acting high? Is this it? Has it kicked in yet?_

“I... I said some inappropriate things for a workplace setting and redact them, if you... can accept that.” She swallowed. “I saw the... festivities downstairs. You... knew?”

 

Aurora blushed. “Yeah, I did,” she admitted. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. What do you think?”

 

“I think...” Marigold said. “I think I need to be left alone.”

 

“Okay. As you wish. I’ll... I’ll probably go down to join the fun. I can lock the door so you’re not disturbed, if you want.”

 

Marigold watched her leave and gave an exhale, relieved. It wasn’t long until anxieties returned, however, as her mind processed the fact she’d still swallowed drugs.

She looked around. Nothing seemed different.

Huh. She rubbed her chin, trying to determine if she even felt different. A little giddy. Sick.

That was perhaps her nerves, though. She found her way to her chair and opened up her laptop, eyes vacantly looking at her screen. She had a list of things to do. People to email.

What would she even do about Buck? She’d eaten the evidence.

She swore under her breath. Perhaps she’d call him in and have a strongly worded conversation. The thought alone made her gleefully tap her nails on the table. Yes. She’d put him in his place. 

_Talk her out of all this name changing nonsense._

She looked outside, frowning. Men weren’t allowed in this school.

_Even if... they were a so-called transsexual man, they’d have to leave._

She sighed, folded her hands. Scrolled down the page, not taking in a word. _What if this was the other way round?_ she wondered. _If it was a man who wanted to be a woman, would I allow them in the school?_

Men weren’t allowed in the school, though.

She wasn’t really sure what to think. She looked at the other tasks she had to do. Quartz’s case – she had no basis for that now. She deleted the task.

_Some of those people are really convincing._

She frowned.

_What if I just didn’t know? What if there are people like that already here?_

On a whim, she decided to open Internet Exporer.

_A new version is available. Install now?_

“No,” Marigold hissed. She’d not upgraded her system since 2010. And it was going to stay that way.

She typed in the search engine name and proceeded to pause for five minutes in order to formulate a suitable search query. She ended up typing ‘school policy transsexuals’ into the searchbar.

And then proceeded to wait another two minutes as the page loaded.

She scanned the results. It appeared to mostly be articles over restroom issues. Marigold rolled her eyes. _Why even bother debating this? It is against the law to go into the incorrect bathroom._

She crolled further down, another query title catching her eye.

_‘Don’t call me a transsexual’._

She frowned, clicking on the link. Brows knitting as the page revealed itself to be a blogging platform.

_Oh no. I’ve heard about this._

It felt like a trainwreck, though. She couldn’t stop scrolling. Amidst terminology she hadn’t encountered before in all her fifty five years, the argument that despite groups adopting the term - sexuality had little to do with gender.

Marigold could at least agree with that. She hadn’t questioned her womanhood.

_Well, despite those few times... But who doesn’t question life with other parts? That doesn’t mean I’m exactly going to identify as something else. It’s imbecilic to pretend. How old is this child?_

She scrolled to the bio.

29.

This was an adult. Her eyes scrutinised the icon. Despite the headline of ‘self made man’, there was no indication that the person within the icon wasn’t male.

This was making her head spin.

She frowned yet again, trying to figure it all out. _But why would they go on with this charade?_

She minimised the page, went to her desktop and clicked the internet explorer icon again. After another five minutes, she finally managed to open a second search query.

_Why are people trans-_

She paused. Well. The post had at least clarified her of one thing.

  _Why are people transgender?_

Several results came up. An article about the “science” of being transgender. An article that had several words in the title that Marigold would have to look up. (She skipped that one.) Top 10 Myths about Transgender People. The causes of a transgender identity. She clicked that one.

The article talked about possible biological causes. A doctor was quoted. “These people aren’t crazy. They have a medical condition.”

Marigold frowned.

_So they’re ill?_

The article talked about medically transitioning.

It was... alien, to Marigold. Why would anyone change their bodies because of this?

This article didn’t give her the answers she needed. She opened another window of Internet Exporer.

Three minutes later, she typed in, _Do people choose to be transgender?_

The result was a little more satisfactory. Marigold read through the Yahoo!Answers and frowned. Interesting. So people just... felt their bodies were wrong. And changed their bodies to be happier.

_They’re just trying to be happier._

It made her unwillingness to cooperate with Buck on his name change seem so... petty.

She sighed deeply.

_No. This is too delicate of a topic to consider with such an unclear mind. You should think about your body as the gift it is. We were put here like this for a reason._

She hunched over her laptop and rested her head in her palms. Half an hour wasted on the internet. The modern world was simply too full of distractions. Her eyes flitted to her stack of folders, now on the floor from her earlier outburst.

Which also seemed rather petty, now that she really considered it.

Whatever. She needed to find her folder and jot down an assembly idea about the dangers of online addiction and work procrastination.

She picked up a pen and fiddled with it. Wasn’t... that procrastination, though? She had a mountain of tasks to do.

_Alright, Marigold. Let’s get to it. What do you need to do first?_

She stared blankly at the page. _Book venue for prom._ Wasn’t that Aurora’s job? ...oh. Aurora wasn’t here, she was enjoying herself at _Pride._

The thought made Marigold’s throat swell up uncomfortably. She blinked. No tears. She was _angry,_ darn it, angry that the teachers had gone behind her back, had _conspired_ against her. And for something so _silly._ There was no pride to be had in being a deviant. It was sinful, it was _shameful._ And if Marigold had had to suffer for it so badly...

She viciously pushed that thought aside. She was _not_ like that. Only when she was drunk. She blamed the alcohol. It was the alcohol.

_Shit. I just took a drug.  
_

“I should go home,” she said, out loud, to no one in particular. “I’m not feeling so well.”

No one replied.

She gave a sigh and slumped onto the desk. Perhaps... perhaps she should get out. Yes. It was time to start looking forward and stop looking back. She spied for her blazer, hung over her chair.

She stared at the chair, trying to suddenly recall the day she had placed it in the office. Approximately ten years ago. Yes. She had assembled it herself. Her thumb grazed her palm, memories of splintering shattering into her mind.

It had been a warm, late summer day. The goverment had for once put in some education budget, and local PTA groups had organised donations of equipment - chairs, tables, desks.

Azure had been there.

In the office, just a few feet away.

_“You work too hard in wrong places, Mari.”_

__   


Marigold swallowed, her throat felt dry. It was as if she could feel a flash of summer heat in the thickness of the room. Breathing suddenly became all too heavy.

A moment of staircase wit.

_At least I work, Azure. We can’t all sit around in our riches._

She shook her head. No. That was petty spite. Azure had worked hard young, peaked early and burnt out atop her empire. An emotional mess.

_I’m not like that. I’m not like that. I’m not like that._

The now familiar wetness at her cheeks made her realise that yet again, for the fourth time that day, she was in tears.

She tried to remember what she was supposed to be doing.

_I can’t think. Is that the drug kicking in? But really, I feel like this on a daily basis, don’t I?_

Being sober was cruel, sometimes.

Azure had been so _pretty._ Was still pretty, but somewhere along the way, she’d lost the spark in her eye.

Marigold envied Aurora’s sister for spending every day with Azure.

But, like. Not in a gay way.

She grabbed a tissue and sat back down, suddenly a little dizzy. And now that she was thinking about it, she was breathing odd too. Or was that just because she was focusing on her breathing?

_It’s okay. It’s okay. Those kids wouldn’t deal anything actually dangerous._

Or would they...?

Marigold had enemies in the school. The evidence was still there, badly painted over. It stung. _Principal Diamond must fall._ Who wanted her to fall?

_Aurora. You know it was her. Aurora._

No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t her, Marigold just thought she saw her because she couldn’t stop thinking about her.

Also, definitely not in a gay way.

She sighed. _What am I doing._

Her eyes spied the clock. One hour. One hour since she’d come into the office. She’d wasted an entire hour. She screamed at herself internally.

_Get back to work._

_But I did also decide to go home._

_Azure._

Marigold decided to sit down on the floor again, cross legged. As long as she was breathing, she was fine. As long as she was conscious. She was fine. She sat for a while, watching the clock, eyes locking onto various aspects of the room.

She looked at her desk, focussing on the grain of the wood. The texture seemed... vivid. Her mind scampered over its details. The tree must have grown somewhere, for a while. And somehow, someone had chopped it down, and it had been transported there. And people had driven the trucks that held the tree and those people probably had lives and children and that was sort of beatiful and Marigold found herself wishing above all else for someone to come back home to-

“Stop that,” she hissed.

Her mind was beyond wandering. Her train of thought had somehow travelled to an entirely different continent. Her hands shook, trembling.

All of the sudden, she was very conscious of the fact that tiny trails of light followed the movements of her hands.

“Oh.”

She waved her hand in front of her eyes. Blinked rapidly. Did it again. Waved it slowly, homed in on the trails.

Oh, God. The drug must have taken effect.

_Am I even safe?_

Well, driving home was definitely out of the question. She wasn’t _that_ kind of suicidal. But was staying here an option?

“I should find Aurora,” she said. Momentarily mesmerised by the way the ceiling lamp reflected off the laptop. “Or maybe sit down some more.”

She jumped when she heard voices coming from the corridor. Could they hear her talk to herself? She had to stop. What if she said something weird? What if people would know she was drugged?

Her reputation was at stake.

 _What reputation,_ she thought. _Everyone here hates me._

_Even Aurora. Especially Aurora._

To her dismay, she found her cheeks wet again.

_Why does Aurora hate me? What did I do?_

She hugged her knees and came to about fifty conclusions at once. _The alcohol, the secrecy, the... the choking. That... probably wasn’t good. But I was drunk._

She scrunched her face up. Her hand scrabbled around for piece of paper on the floor. She began to write.

_I knew exactly what I was doing. I took her space. I demanded her time. I... I used her goodwill and love for me to absorb her into my life. I gave her no room to breathe. i might as well have been choking her the entire time. I’m sorry, Aurora._

The pen fell out of her hands. Somehow, her _hand_   felt dizzy.

And yet, as the criticisms poured in, so did the solutions.

_I still have time to do things. She loved you for a reason. That might still be around. But she doesn’t owe you her love. Not after the ways you’ve hurt her. You owe her an apology. Thousands of apologies. But she doesn’t owe you the time to hear them._

_Aurora would. Aurora would hear them._

_Right?_

Another memory spun over her eyes as the sun draped through the window in streaks. Marigold’s vision fascinated by the thousands of particles of dust visible.

It had been early spring the first time Claire had shown Marigold her wine farm. Marigold had been twenty two years old and finally completely independent of any parental supervision, and they’d taken a visit to France.

Marigold found herself wearing a goofy smile as she recalled a memory that had burnt her with its sheer embarassment at the time. Her French had always been awful - a problematic element when Claire in her infinite generosity had treated her to a French cafe with menu prices enough to make her weep.

She had, of course, failed spectacularly in her attempt at ordering. So much so that a vast portion of the evening had been spent wallowing in second hand cringe.

Claire had been oblivious until Marigold spilled.

_“It’s not that bad, Mari.”_

_“His face! You looked physically uncomfortable, too.”_

_“French is hard.”_

_“Oh God. What if he’s going to tell the others? What if I’m going to become one of those stories those waiters spread around of poor customers?”_

Claire had only laughed. Marigold could hear it, crisper than ever. As if somehow, it had been recorded on a vinyl.

 _“Honestly, Marigold. You seem to think you’re the only person who’s ever embarrassed herself. Once you look past the details, I think you’ll find that suffering is fairly universal.”_  She’d softly gripped Marigold’s hand at that point. _“You’ve been on the side of the waiter, watching someone else make a fool of themselves, just as many times as you’ve been a fool.”_

Marigold found herself nodding in present. Her actions were inexcusable. But she could be better. With or without Aurora’s approval, she had to be better. That was the only thing she could do to fix anything.

_How can I be better?_

Claire’s face was still so clear in her mind. Her beautiful, youthful face and that smile, the one only Marigold ever got.

She found herself clinging to the memory of Claire’s hand in hers. The feeling of Claire’s fingers in her hair.

She’d touched Marigold a lot. More than anyone else.

She reached for another tissue.

Claire had taken her to the theatre several times. Arms linked, wearing fancy clothes. Claire had taken her shopping for those as well. The evenings at Bridge Club where Marigold found herself going back to Claire’s flat. Even before they moved in together, they’d spent so much time together.

Another memory of being pulled from near sleep by a light and Claire standing in the doorway of her room.

 _“I can’t sleep_ ,” came Claire’s quiet voice. “ _Can I sit with you for a bit?_ ”

Marigold had pulled herself from sleep. She’d hugged Claire close. It had been after the first day of chemotherapy.

She remembered how Claire laid down with her and Marigold had draped the blanket over her. How Claire had snuggled up to her.

The warmth of another human sleeping next to her, the soft breath on her skin. Claire’s hand holding hers.

They’d just been friends. To Marigold, for all those years, they’d only been friends.

She remembered now that while Roxy and Azure had been seeing others, Claire had never taken a lover while Marigold was there.

The only person Claire ever seemed interested in was...

“Me.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

The revelation hit her all at once. Little words, suggestions. Claire had always joked that if she could have married Marigold, she would have. Marigold had always assumed it to be hyperbole. Claire making humor about an alternate reality.

But... what if it hadn’t been hyperbole?

Claire had barely ever talked of such matters. But that was because on such personal issues, Claire had never really revealed herself. Claire had always been there for everyone else.

Marigold found herself connecting the dots. She’d always admired that quiet, smart and levelheadedness about Claire. She’d always tried to emulate it. Never show anyone her feelings.

But as memories flashed forwards and backwards, morphing and clipping past her mind’s eye, she realised that was incorrect.

_I don’t show my feelings because I’m afraid of them. I don’t want to think they even exist. I don’t want to make myself vulnerable._

Claire had never been afraid. Claire had always just been... preoccupied. Preoccupied by her.

_Life could have been so wonderful with her. I loved her. Oh God, I loved her._

_Am I... like that?_

She sighed. Yes. She’d literally remained celibate outside of Aurora.

She had sex with women.

“I’m a lesbian,” she whispered, a childlike revelation in her voice. “I’m a lesbian. _I’m a lesbian!”_

“We’re very proud of you!” a voice shouted from outside.

Marigold jumped in her skin, yet again, startled. The window was open. She’d been heard. No. No, she needed to hide.

_Why am I hiding, why am I always hiding? It’s pathetic._

_Or is it pathetic? Humans hide for a reason. It protects us. Fear keeps us alive. It used to be dangerous for me to like women. It still is. It keeps me safe._

She found herself crawling underneath her desk. The bumps and ridges of the floor demanding her attention as she moved, palms scraping over it. Her body curled, she hugged herself.

_It’s okay to be scared. It kept me alive. Has the world changed yet? Can I stop being scared?_

Aurora wasn’t, though.

She closed her eyes and exhaled.

“I should have loved her more. I should have been unafraid with her.”

She rested her forehead on her knees. Here, in the dark, everything seemed small and far away. She managed to breathe.

The space underneath the desk was dark and cramped and after a short while, Marigold’s back hurt. She crawled out from underneath the desk (what was she even doing down there?) and her eyes fell on the clock.

She tried to remember what time it was _supposed_ to be, and then realised she’d been alone for nearly three hours.

_Three hours? There’s no way it’s been that long!_

Her to-do list sat, unattended, on her laptop. Marigold ignored it.

_Where’s my phone? I need to... I need to call Aurora._

She really needed to call Aurora. Tell her she loved her-

She remembered the last time she saw Aurora.

_I told her I hated her._

The memory was painful. _She’s not going to accept this. What if I just... ask her to come to my office? I need her._

Determined, she found her phone. She’d immediately saved Aurora’s number after Aurora had called her.

Her hand shook as she dialed.

 

 


	77. Act V - Chapter XLI: Peak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: drugs, discussions of homophobia, death, suicidal ideation and abuse.

It seemed Aurora let it ring. Or perhaps she was busy.

But after a few apprenhensive dial tones, she picked up. “Marigold?”

 

Marigold found herself shaking. On the verge of tears, again. “Can you... come to my office?” she managed. “Please.”

 

There was a pause. “Sure. Right away,” Aurora quickly replied before hanging up, leaving Marigold in silence for a few minutes.

 

“Thank you,” Marigold said into the now silent phone.

_Pull it together. You can’t let her see you so weak._

She fidgeted with her blazer. Wondering if she _looked_ drugged.

 

Several moments later, Aurora replied with a knock on the door. The sound of jangling indicated she was fishing for a key. She didn’t, however, unlock the door. “Principal Diamond? Are you... in there?”

 

“I’m here, Aurora. Please come in and close the door behind you,” Marigold replied. Her heart was beating very fast. _Is that the drugs, or anxiety?_ she wondered.

Probably both.

 

“What’s happening?” Aurora opened the door and looked in. “And... what happened in here? Are you... safe?”

 

“Please sit down, Rori,” Marigold said softly. All hardness had gone out of her voice. Aurora was so beautiful. She seemed to glow with an unearthly light, her eyes like beacons in a dark and troubled sea.

 _I’m in love with her,_ Marigold realised, belatedly. _I’ve been in love with her for years._

 

Aurora looked her up and down, a frown forming on her face. “Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing?”

 

“What am I... doing?” Marigold asked, confused. “Aurora...”

 

“What, do you think I’m an idiot? Well. Given my relationship history, I can see how you got that impression.” Aurora rolled her eyes, her face darkening. “Do you really think I’m so dumb as not to tell that the second I decided to leave you again to have fun is the second you pull your _drinking_ card and I have to look after you.”

 

 

Marigold clenched her teeth, trying not to cry. “Aurora, no,” she said, “I’m not drunk. Well, not exactly. I... I didn’t want to pull you away from having fun. God, I’m selfish. You don’t have to stay.”

 

Aurora huffed. “Then why else are you...” She stepped closer, inspecting. Getting very close without Marigold really disapproving. Huh. “You don’t smell of it. And you haven’t been out of school... what did you do?”

 

Marigold took a shaky breath. “I apprehended Beatrice... Buck. With... prohibited substances. I don’t know what exactly. Ecstacy, maybe? It was on... paper.” She hung her head. “I was desperate. Miserable. Wanted to... not feel that way. I’m sorry.”

 

Aurora took a few seconds to process the words before stepping back, eyes wide. “You... you took drugs?” She then groaned. “ _You need to know what you’re going to have before you take it._ That’s how you keep yourself safe.”

 

“I didn’t really care about that. I don’t think it’s going to kill me. I wouldn’t really care if it did.” She found she was crying again. She reached for a tissue, only to find that her tissue box had run out.

 

“Of course not. Sounds like you’ve probably had a tab. Was it about this small, colourful?” Aurora gestured with her fingers and Marigold nodded. “Oh. Well. Of all the drugs you could have swallowed, this one is at least one of the safest. When did you take it?”

 

Marigold stared at her.

“How do you know... actually,” she corrected herself, “you’re related to Blue. Of course you know all about drugs. Uh. Three hours ago? Four? Can you tell me what it is?”

 

“LSD.” Aurora sighed. “A hallucinogenic. You’re going to be out of comission for a while. Why don’t I drive you home, huh?” Aurora then paused, her face turning grave. She couldn’t quite meet Marigold’s eyes. “Actually, I could call you a taxi.”

 

Marigold felt cold. “I don’t want to keep you,” she said, “but I don’t want to go home. Not by myself and... I can’t make you drive me. Would it be... too much to ask that you... stay with me for a little while?”

 

Aurora looked around. “Trust me. You’ve probably got another eight hours to go. But if the concept of moving to another space is going to freak you out, I can stay here with you until you’re less... messy.” She sighed and bent over, stacking some of the many pieces of paper. “Just settle down. Have you had anything to drink in the last few hours... I mean like, water.”

 

“No.” To be honest, she’d completely forgotten about it. “Thank you, Aurora. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Rori. For all the things I did to you. And for being a burden on you again. I took advantage of you so many times. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

 

“Listen. I don’t... really want to hear it.” Aurora waved her hand, walking out but in earshot. “I’m here because you called me and because you’re not in a fit state to be by yourself. Really, I should call you an ambulance, but... I’d rather not waste taxpayer money. And your job. Because, really, Marigold, getting high during work hours isn’t very becoming of you.”

 

Marigold’s heart hurt.

“Being drunk during working hours wasn’t very becoming either,” she said. “And yet.”

 

“This is the last time I enable anything like this of yours. I’m through with giving your self destructive, foul habits any sympathy.“ Aurora returned with a glass of water for Marigold, as well as a blanket from below her desk. “Now, for once in your life, be grateful for Blue. You should be pleased to know that I’m well versed in trip sitting through her, and can safely tell you that acid isn’t physically addictive.”

Aurora tugged the blanket over Marigold. “There. That should at least fascinate you for a while. If you start freaking out or getting to a bad place, just focus on touching that. That’s the thing about hallucinogenics. The only thing you should be wary of right now mostly is... yourself.”

 

Marigold took the blanket. She was still looking at Aurora, though.

“Yes, I’ve noticed that,” she said absent-mindedly.

_She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen._

She couldn’t stop looking at Aurora.

 

 

“I take it that your brain probably feels pretty wired up to the universe.” Aurora sighed, sitting on the desk again. “Any cosmic revelations you’ve made yet?”

 

Marigold took a moment to process the words.

“I’m gay,” she then said, calmly. “And... I’m sorry, Aurora, this is probably really not the best time to tell you, but I am utterly in love with you.”

 

Aurora looked at her for a few minutes, and appeared to have made the active decision not to lash out at that. She hugged her knees, blowing a stray strand back in line with her fringe. “Yeah. This drug is good at making you realise those kinds of things.” She avoided Marigold’s gaze. “I’m pretty sure the hazy, drug filled days of my days of chasing Blue’s shadow helped me come to terms with loving women, too. It’s not healthy, though.”

 

That... wasn’t exactly what Marigold had been expecting. She wasn’t sure _what_ she’d been expecting.

“Oh.”

She wasn’t sure what to make of Aurora’s words. She fell silent, pondering.

“I feel weird,” she then said. “Like I should be hating myself right now, but I’m not. At least... not for loving women. Loving you. I regret all I did to you, but being in love with you is... just the way I am.”

_It’s just the way I am. I’m never going to change._

She started sobbing again.

 

Aurora could only offer a hand on top of Marigold’s, looking away, still not meeting her vision. “I know. It’s why it still hurts me to see you so in denial. I know you had it rough. I had it rough too. You worse than me, of course, and that’s why... that’s why I always forgave. Because I loved you enough to accept the fact that... you’re from a different time. You’re far more afraid of this world than I’ll ever be and that’s why you hurt me and yourself.”

 

“I just... I wasted so much time. I could have been so happy, Rori. I could have been with Claire. I could have been with you, without guilt or alcohol or... I could have been so happy. I would’ve been so happy with Claire.”

 

Aurora’s eyes flickered to the drawer. That name again.

“Who’s that?”

 

“She was a friend of mine,” Marigold said. No, that made it sound so distant. Claire and her had been so much more than _friends._

“My first love, in a way.” She sighed.

 

“Oh.” Aurora couldn’t keep her eyes off the drawer. “I take she’s no longer with us.”

 

“She died long ago.” The memory came back, the one she tried not to think about too much, and yet it was always there, clear as daylight.

Claire dying in her arms.

Marigold holding her, feeling her breaths get more and more shallow until eventually, they stopped completely.

Marigold feeling for a pulse she already knew was no longer there.

Hugging Claire close, tears streaming down her face.

Tears on her face now, in the present.

“She was the first person who loved me in that way.”

 

Aurora watched her, face falling. “Oh. I see. I’m... I can’t say I’m surprised you never brought her up until now. It sounds like a painful thing for you to talk about.”

 

“Yeah.”

She was crying, again. This was the most she’d cried in... an eternity.

“Excuse me,” she said softly, “I need to go to the bathroom.”

 

“Okay...” Aurora shot up, concerned. “Do you feel-...? I think I should... at least supervise you on the way there. You don’t want to get even more overwhelmed going out alone.”

 

“If you must. But I’ll probably be okay. We have an ensuite, Aurora, it’s not that far.”

 

“Oh. Alright.” Aurora nodded. “I assumed you were heading into the staff toilets, sorry. Should I stick around for when you come back?”

 

“Please. If you don’t mind.” Marigold got up.

Immediately, she felt like she was walking on clouds. Her body felt like rubber.

She straightened up, trying to shake it off quickly. Walked out confidently, hoping Aurora wasn’t worried.

_I’ll be okay._

The toilet door fell shut behind her and Marigold locked herself in.

Only now, she realised she felt God’s eye on her. Moreso than it had been before. Maybe ever.

She immediately felt self-conscious. What had she done? ...oh, yes, the gay thing. Undeniably, Marigold Diamond was gay, and had just admitted to it quite publicly, and was keenly aware of her own gay thoughts towards Aurora, towards Claire.

She shivered.

Marigold then proceeded to sit down again. Her legs seemingly doing the motion without her control.

A memory spun behind her eyes.

Her mother.

_"That's it. You sit down and think."_

Marigold rubbed her face, her breathing shallow. She had been seven. The routine was usual.

_"Why, Mama? I didn't do anything."_

_"Don't talk back to me. Just sit there until I come back and get you."_

Her mother was a forgetful woman. Sitting was obedience. She needed to obey. Obey. Obey.

Others needed to obey, her, right? And she needed to obey to God.

Marigold frowned. "How can I obey you right? Whatever I seem to do, I just seem to fail time and time again? What is my path?"

For a moment, there was only silence.

_What is the most important law of God?_

It was almost as if a voice had whispered into her ear. Marigold straightened up, looked around. She was most definitely alone.

“The most important law,” she said into nothingness, “is love the Lord, and love thy neighbour...”

_As you love yourself._

“But I don’t love myself,” Marigold said, “I hate myself. I hate everything I am.”

Her surroundings appeared to dissolve around her. Marigold found herself drifting through nothingness, _becoming_ nothingness, and the only thing that she was certain of was that she had never been closer to God than she was now.

She started crying again.

“How can I love anyone else if I can’t even love myself? And how could I even _begin_ to love myself?”

"Perhaps I won't ever love myself."

Marigold heard her own voice echo in the void. She realised, for a second, she was seeing herself in the bathroom. 

"But that shouldn't mean I shouldn't strive to love myself. I'm the only thing I have that's permanent. I'm sacred." She saw herself slowly melt into her own arms.

She realised in a brief moment of lucidity as her arms wrapped around in a self hug, that she'd been intently staring into the mirror.

But even as she realised that, her reflection distorted until she barely recognised her own face.

“I hate it. I hate this. It’s disgusting,” she said, talking both to and about the reflection. “I’m gross, I’m disgusting. I’m a sinner. I’m dirty and I’ll never be clean. God... my Lord... take this off me. Take away the burden that is my life. Lord Jesus... you died for our sins... take away this burden from me.”

She looked away, couldn’t bear looking at the mirror anymore. She was still crying.

_But you still have so far to go._

“No,” Marigold said harshly, “I hurt everyone. I barely deserve to be alive. I don’t deserve anything good. Life itself is too good for me.”

_I thought it was a burden._

“It is a burden! But it’s still too good for me! Just let me burn in hell’s fires for eternity!”

_You will not die. You still have work to do. If you keep going, your burden will ease._

Marigold cried into her hands. She was sure it was God, speaking to her through the drugs, her mind finally able to perceive Him.

_Do you want to repent?_

"Yes! Of course I do. Though no matter how I try to obey you, I still seem to be toxic. Why must you try me with all this unnaturality, and torture me with its hardship?"

_Have you been a good person?_

"Obedient. I'm obedient, can't you see? Everything I've done... I'm obedient." She felt like crumbling. The cracks on the walls seemed so much more apparent.

"... I've been a bad person, though. I've... my obedience has made me hurt those I love. Can I be a good person?"

God’s voice was silent for a few moments.

_Your obedience is not what the Lord wants._

Marigold shook her head, confused.

“But that’s what I’ve been taught all my life,” she said softly. “Obey and the gates of heaven will be open for you... is that... wrong?”

_The kind of obedience you’ve been practicing is obedience to your family, your church, your community._

_But not obedience to God._

“I thought that was the same thing,” Marigold said, “because surely the ministers would know what You want, wouldn’t they?”

_Do they? Can anyone presume to know what God wants?_

That made Marigold fall silent.

_Being kind and compassionate takes training. You can't just achieve likeability. It's a muscle. But you can always strive to improve. It's never too late to be a good person._

"Never too late to be a good person." Marigold murmured, looking outside. Aurora. She should apologise to Aurora.

 

Just as she thought that, there was a hesitant knock on the door.

“Marigold?” came Aurora’s voice. “You’ve been in there a while, are you okay?”

 

Marigold frantically scrambled to look presentable.  "Yes, I'm here! I'm... I'm alright. How are... you?"

 

“I’m okay,” Aurora said, sounding confused. “Are you sure you’re okay? I – I’ll be honest, I’d be happier if you were somewhere where I could... look after you properly.” The last few words were spoken with a small sigh.

 

"I can... I can come out." Reality seemed to slowly be registering in her. Her vision was still clouded by small, tiny visuals from the drug. "Are you sure you want to burden yourself with me?"

 

A small pause. “You’re drugged, and I’m the only one who knows about that,” Aurora said quietly. “I’ve seen Blue take enough acid in my time, and it should hardly be possible but you’re _less_ stable than her right now. I’m not going to abandon you.”

 

"You should if you know what's good for you. Aurora, I've now realised how much damage I've done." Marigold pressed her forehead against the door. "I'm sorry."

 

When Aurora replied, her voice was gentle. “Come on out, Marigold. Let’s go back to your office.”

 

"O-okay." Marigold sighed. Aurora shouldn't be so nice. not after everything. But, then again, perhaps Aurora understood her the most. Marigold opened the door, and stood for a second. Watching her.

 

Aurora held her gaze.

“Can you walk?” she asked. “You seemed fine before, but it looks like you had quite an interesting time just now.”

 

"Indeed." Marigold's reply was spacy, "I think I can travel."

 

“Well, let’s travel back to your office, then. Come on.” Aurora hesitated, then held out her hand.

 

Marigold softly took it, hand quivering. The floor appeared to be moving behind her eyes. "I think I'm going to get fired for this. I think I would deserve it. A shame."

 

Aurora led her back to the office and closed the door behind them.

“Well, if five years of constantly being drunk on the job didn’t get you fired, I doubt this will, either,” she said. “Especially since nobody knows but me.”

 

"Oh. I assumed you'd report it. Everyone's reporting everything nowadays, it seems." Marigold went to sit at her chair, marvelling at the design for a solid minute this time. "I suppose perhaps I should come clean of all the time I spent drunk. And then go and seek help. Oh, but I would lose so much." Her face then turned grave. "I deserve to lose everything."

 

Aurora stared at her for a few seconds.

“I think seeking help is a good idea,” she then said carefully, “but I don’t think you need to... lose everything.”

 

"How can you of all people say that? You know so many of my sins, and that doesn't even cover a fraction of it all. But, then again, when I am reborn as you perhaps I can face my own abuse."

 

“I’m... afraid you’re not making a lot of sense,” Aurora said softly.

 

"Oh. I'm... high, right?"

 

“Tripping,” Aurora corrected gently.

 

"Is that it? I didn't know."

 

“Well, I don’t suppose you’ve had much experience with illegal drugs,” Aurora said. “Apart from apparently confiscating them from students.”

 

"I've never really caught them much myself. Teachers bring them to me. I know what cannabis looks like but I've only seen teaching props of other illegal things. I've only seen heroin. At the club,” Marigold muttered.

 

“Heroin is dangerous,” Aurora said, “I don’t know what clubs you go to, but please do everyone a favour and stay well away from heroin.”

 

"It wasn't me, you goose," Marigold huffed. "I didn't do it. It was them."

 

Almost against her will, Aurora’s curiosity was piqued. “And who were... _they_?”

 

"Roxy. Claire." Marigold's voice sounded faint, throaty. "They were there."

 

Aurora frowned. She recognised at least one of those names. “Your... girlfriend?”

 

"No! She wasn't... she was never that." Marigold seemed frustrated. "Sorry... I'm a little hazy, I think. Too many thoughts at once."

 

“That’s okay. Take your time.” Aurora was familiar with the state of mind that certain drugs could produce. “But you can tell me anything you want.”

 

Marigold looked distant. She began to murmur. "I think I deserve the pain her passing gave me. To repay for all the atrocities I did later. I just didn't see it until now."

 

Aurora looked at her. “Losing someone you loved always hurts, Marigold. It doesn’t mean it’s... punishment, much less for things you hadn’t even done at the time.”

 

Marigold laughed. "Time doesn't exist. I realise that now. Whatever I did exists in our little cosmic vacuum. It makes sense for me to be punished at any point."

 

“Why does it make sense for you to be punished at all?” Aurora asked.

 

"Because I deserve to be." Marigold replied as if it were obvious. "With all I've done the only thing I question is the sheer capacity of your forgiveness."

 

Aurora sighed, fidgeted, hesitated.

“I’m glad you’re seeing that the way you treated me was wrong,” she then said softly, “and I haven’t forgiven you. We can talk about it, but not now. If you still feel this way when you’re sober, let me know.”

 

Marigold watched her and then nodded. "Okay. I can accept that." She paused for a bit. "Why did you break into the school?"

 

Aurora drew in a sharp breath. “So you did see me. Why didn’t you report me?”

 

"I kept trying to convince myself it wasn't you. I didn't want to believe you'd do that to me and then... and then you looked after me when no one else really cared." Marigold folded her legs and looked down. "I'm not mad... well. Not anymore."

 

“It was a stupid idea,” Aurora admitted. “I was angry because you were going after all those girls and Amethyst was one of them. You know the way you treat some kids in this school is really not fair, right?”

 

"I thought I was doing a good thing. I thought I was doing the right thing."

 

“And... do you still think that?”

 

"As much as I deny my homosexuality." Her voice was sort. "Right now, not at all."

 

Aurora’s shoulders slumped a little bit.

_But what will you think when you’re sober again?_

She didn’t say the words. Part of her was clinging on to hope that maybe, Marigold would change.

 

Marigold seemed to read her. "I'm scared of what I'm going to go back to. I'm scared of not being this self aware. Am I better like this? No... I can't just be like this. I don't belong in this plane of existence."

 

Aurora took a deep breath. “Well, the good thing about this drug is that you’ll remember your trip, and hopefully the thoughts and feelings you’re having just now. And if you are doubting that, it might help to write down some things.”

 

"I'll remember everything?" Marigold seemed excited by this. "That's good. I've come across many revelations."

 

“Oh yeah?” Aurora managed a small smile. “Such as?”

 

"It's probably things you'll find silly. As if I've just managed to get everyone's perspective on things at once. It's a little confusing, though."

 

“How is it confusing?”

 

"You imagine having to debate an ethical battle of hating queers with yourself." Marigold rolled her eyes.

 

“There are lots of people who go through that,” Aurora said. “But surely, if you realise that you’re queer yourself, then it should be fairly simple to see what’s right and wrong.”

 

"I didn't like thinking I was queer. You know that."

 

“Yes,” Aurora said. “But right now, things are different for you.”

 

"I suppose they are." Marigold swallowed. "It doesn't seem as big or horrid, right now. Will it go back to that when I'm sober?"

 

“I don’t know. Maybe. But it might be easier.”

 

"Perhaps. I suppose right now I feel it doesn't matter. Nothing matters. Well. It's not that bleak. But... it's... love. Not perversion. I was so terrified of the perversion I felt to you."

 

“Love isn’t perversion, Marigold,” Aurora said gently. “It never is. And love isn’t something to be scared of.”

 

"I loved your body, I think. Even with all that we did." Marigold wiped at her face. "I loved you."

 

Aurora swallowed, clenched her teeth. Had to look away.

It hurt.

“I can’t forgive you for what you did,” she said, eyes firmly locked on the carpet. “Not yet.”

 

"I won't hold it against you if you never do. I made myself have so much control over you. And I misused it." Marigold sounded distant. "I misused everything. Everyone. I think I use people by nature."

 

Something in Marigold’s voice made Aurora look up. She couldn’t quite face Marigold, though.

“Has it happened before, then?” she whispered.

 

"I strived to learn from the best. The woman I learnt from..." An edge wouldn't disappear her voice. "Wasn't a good person. Following her suit made me even worse."

 

“And who was that?”

 

Marigold looked away, pursing her lips a little. "Someone I used to know well from the club. It was a tightly knit group for many years."

 

Aurora wasn’t quite sure what to say.

“You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to.”

 

"It's painful to remember." Marigold admitted. "Or, it usually is. I don't know how much my sober self would want you to know. I want to be honest. Oh!" She exclaimed, looking at Aurora. "The concept of truth is so nuanced! Never let me go to court."

 

“I’ll do my best,” Aurora said. “Are you feeling okay?”

 

"My soul sits here in the present. I assume so."

 

“Well, that’s better than nothing.” Marigold wasn’t crying anymore. Which might be a good thing. “So what... now?”

 

"I... I don't know." Marigold looked outside. "I can move better now, I think. It's still definitely in my system, though. I don't know how odd I'll act around everyone."

 

“If you want to go out, I could come with you,” Aurora said. “Unless you’d rather be on your own?”

 

"Embarrassment doesn't matter." Marigold said, slowly.  "I mean. It's what I'd deserve but... now that I've realised we're all technically the same being... it doesn't matter if they know. I'm simultaneously going to be experiencing them seeing me anyway. I have nothing to lose."

 

“If... you say so. So... do you want me to come or not?”

 

"Perhaps you should..." Marigold stood up, nothing about her looking very tidy. "Perhaps I deserve the ridicule."

 

 _And what about me?_ Aurora swallowed the complaint. The old servitude bubbling up. She had too much on her mind to fight it. “Okay. Do you want to tidy yourself up first?”

 

"Oh. I do look like a mess. Can you help me?"

 

“If you want.” Aurora hesitated. She hadn’t touched Marigold in months.

 

"I think there's some wipes around here somewhere." Marigold looked around. "Everything is so messy, oh dear. Oh dear."

 

“I have some here,” Aurora said, pulling out some from her bag. She swallowed. “Do you, uh. Want me to...?” She half-offered the wipes to Marigold, unsure what to do.

 

"Please." Marigold leaned a little in her direction and then paused. "It was nifty of you to have those handy. I didn't know you wore makeup that much."

 

Aurora half-smiled. “I wanted to study makeup before. Maybe I will. It’s more of a... private hobby, for me.”

She took one of the wipes and stepped closer to Marigold, her heart beating fast as she gently started cleaning her up. Her cheeks grew warm.

She wished they didn’t. She wished this wouldn’t affect her as much as it did. It had been _months_.

 

 

"Did... you ever tell me that?" Marigold looked down, as if she was genuinely trying to search her brain.

 

Aurora didn’t look away. “Yes,” she said, “but you were drunk a lot of the time we were together.”

 

"Oh." Marigold couldn't meet her eyes. She shivered beneath Aurora's touch. "Sorry. Your touch is so... delicate. Everything feels so vivid right now."

 

 

“That’s okay.” Her voice had dropped down to nearly a whisper. She was close to Marigold.

She carefully cleaned up Marigold’s face. “That’s better,” she said softly. “You... cried a lot today. It can be healthy. Crying.”

 

"I know that right now. But will I know that when I'm sober?"

 

“I don’t know.”

Aurora stopped. Swallowed.

Didn’t move away.

 

"Can you..." Marigold missed the touch already and painfully closed her eyes. "No. That... that's enough. Thank you." And yet, Marigold didn't move either.

 

For a long moment, the silence hung. Aurora’s heart was galloping and she knew, she knew she should back away, this woman had already ruined her life once, she should be running –

But she didn’t.

“Are you okay?” she whispered.

 

"I don't want to make a fuss but..." Marigold watched her with a pain in her eyes. Then looked at her hands, her voice turning quiet. "I'll be alright."

 

Aurora knew she shouldn’t press, knew she should just leave it at that and step away.

She didn’t.

“What’s wrong?”

She could barely keep herself from touching Marigold.

 

"I like you touching me. Contact is... kind to me this second. And yet... I feel so very sober. And not at all."

 

Aurora blinked.

She then took another wipe and gently carried on cleaning up Marigold’s face, even though it was hardly necessary at this point.

“I missed a spot,” she said softly.

Her heart hurt. She was only being kind. Only looking after Marigold, who barely deserved it.

But Marigold was so... vulnerable right now.

 

"You're going to run away from me when this is all over, aren't you?" There was no accusation in her tone. Marigold looked at her, mournful.

 

Aurora took a deep breath. Now was probably as good a time as any.

“I’m planning to put in my resignation for the end of this year,” she said. “So, in a way, yes... but whether you’ll still get to see me... depends on how you act when you’re sober again.”

 

"Of course you are. With your sister graduating, I suppose you won't have much reason to force yourself to stick around." No malice. No passive aggression. She shook a little. "I hope the future treats you well, wherever you may go, Miss Jaune."

 

It made Aurora’s eyes well up. She swallowed heavily and let her hand drop, clutching the makeup wipe desperately in an attempt not to cry. This... this was the Marigold she’d fallen in love with, who she was still in love with.

She finally stepped away, turned her head. “Thank you... Principal Diamond.” Her voice was thick.

 

"I think... I should maybe go visit Pride on my own. You should have a break from me. You've been looking after me for... oh my goodness, it's been another hour. School is... nearly over."

 

“If... you’re sure about going on your own,” Aurora said softly. “I’ll leave you be, if you want.”

 

"It must be hard enough already." Marigold stood. "I'll... there will be people downstairs. If I slip up and everyone realises I've been illegally high the whole day, then... I suppose I'll deserve what I'll have to face."

 

Aurora nodded.

“I hope you have a good time,” she said. “Marigold.”

 

"Thank you." And with that, she left the room.

 

 

 


	78. Act V – Chapter XLIII: Come down

Pride was still set up when Marigold reached the gym. The colours everywhere made her stop for a moment, suddenly quite distracted.

_I must still be tripping._

There were people everywhere. A lot of them gave her very odd looks. Marigold didn’t engage any of them.

Under other circumstances, she probably would have yelled at the two girls being obviously affectionate with each other right in front of her (there was no way they weren’t trying to provoke her).

She realised that she’d play right into their hands if she reacted. So she did nothing.

Her heart ached; these girls were just like her. But young and free, not bitter and repressed. Marigold found herself, once again, grieving for the youth she never had. But she felt little resentment against the girls.

It wasn’t their fault.

She stepped towards the stalls, her heart giving an odd little twist she couldn’t quite identify. Lazuli and the coach were there, shadowed by little Miss Spearmint. Those three had been hanging out a lot recently.

Marigold found a bit of courage, approached them.

“May I ask who organised this... thing?” she asked.

 

"Oh, um..." Peridot spun on her heel.

Jasper raised a hand. "All of us. A team effort. None of the staff are gonna point fingers so there's probably no point trying to figure it out."

 

“Oh, I’m not pointing any fingers,” Marigold said, “I think... it’s an incredible demonstration of teamwork, even if I wasn’t involved. I’m assuming it’s because of my alleged stance against... gay rights.”

 

 _"Alleged."_ Lapis rolled her eyes. "Sure. Yeah, you wouldn't have allowed it otherwise."

Peridot frowned. "Be nice. She isn't tearing at the rainbows yet."

 

“The rainbow is actually a Christian symbol, too. Do you have any religious participation in this?” Marigold asked, trying very hard to stir the conversation away from her alleged homophobia.

_Can’t face that right now._

 

"Oh yeah, Taisha's just over there." Peridot pointed to a corner of the room. "She's manning the faith based stall. Might be up your alley."

 

“Hmm.” Marigold probably didn’t do very well in hiding her... was that excitement? Other queer Christians? She almost smiled at Peridot, which probably would have been the first time since they met.

Drugs made keeping up her very practiced mask very difficult, apparently.

 

"You... okay there?" Lazuli quirked a brow.

"Be nice." Peridot repeated, under her breath. "There's a lot of stalls. I think the runners would appreciate it if you were kind."

 

“I am just fine, thank you for asking, Miss Lazuli. I trust you’ve recovered well,” Marigold said.

_There it is._

Though, she already regretted it. Lazuli had worked hard to hide her bruises. She’d been ashamed of them. They were a memory of something that had gone very wrong.

Marigold didn’t know how she suddenly knew that, but she did.

She turned away quickly to hide her expression, marching down the gym looking for Miss Bismuth.

 

The end of the school day had meant the hall was far less crowded. A few decorations had made their way to the floor and some tables were already being cleared up.

But all eyes were set on Marigold.

Miss Bismuth sat at a small display at the far end of the room, away from the major festivities.

 

_They’re all watching me._

Everything had gone very quiet. Marigold felt discomfort growing in her belly. _You sure you want to do this right now?_

But she couldn’t, shouldn’t run away from this. Not now, that she was actually reasonably able to do things without fear.

Well, not that much fear.

She marched over to Bismuth’s stall.

 

Bismuth was reading a book, flicking through the pages slowly. Relaxed.

She blinked slowly when Marigold came into view, putting her book face down.

 

 

Marigold looked at the book.

“It’ll break the spine if you do that,” she said, reflexively.

_Why do I care? It’s just a book. And not even one of mine._

She didn’t quite know what to say. There were leaflets scattered all over the table. She took one up; it displayed a rainbow, and it said, _’The rainbow is a Christian symbol, too.’_

She almost smiled at that. “You know, I said that when I walked in here.”

 

"Huh. Take it that you don't like the appropriation of it by us queers."

 

Marigold chose not to answer. “What are you here for, then?” she asked instead. Still trying to keep up the mask.

 

"I'm here to tell questioning students of faith that it's okay to be themselves." Marigold was met with a deathly leer. "You know, your job."

 

_Yeah, it should be._

Marigold felt her throat tighten, her mind going foggy with self-loathing for a moment.

She composed herself. Swallowed, straightened up.

_Aurora. I want to be back in my office with Aurora. This is humiliating._

“Thank you,” she finally managed. “You’re doing important work. Mind if I... take this?”

 

Bismuth's face almost softened. She gave Marigold a small pamphlet. "All yours. I hope it's to your satisfaction."

 

Marigold folded the pamphlet and put it neatly into her pocket.

“Which church do you go to?” she asked Taisha politely.

 

"St. Michael's."

 

“Okay. Thank you. I’ll see you around, Taisha.” She turned and located the exit.

Was Aurora still going to be in her office? Maybe she should just go home.

She found her car keys in one of her pockets. _Am I safe to drive?_ Probably not; but what else was she to do?

She’d barely stepped outside when she found another obstacle. On the car park, very close to where her car was parked, Rose Quartz stood at a stall. It was impossible for her to get to her car without Quartz seeing her, potentially engaging with her.

She stood, frozen, unable to decide.

 

It was just then that Rose made eye contact with her. Her face seemed to pale, her hands dropping to her sides.

She then smiled and waved.

 

Marigold’s heart was racing. She wasn’t sure why.

She’d wronged this person, she knew. And now was the time to make amends.

_She doesn’t have to forgive you, silly._

She approached the stall.

“Miss Quartz,” she said, keeping her tone polite.

 

 

"I got notice that the allegations stacked against me were dropped by the source. I figured I'd at least visit the school's first Pride." Rose swallowed.

 

“How honourable of you.” It wasn’t meant to be as sarcastic as it sounded. Marigold inwardly cringed at herself. “I’ve dropped all proceedings against you. I’ll send out a formal letter soon, but since you’re here, I might as well tell you - your suspension is lifted.”

 

Rose's forehead knitted. And then relaxed. "Oh. Really? I... thank you, I guess."

 

“I have no proof against you whatsoever,” Marigold said, more open than she would ever be when sober. “Even Pearl’s statement didn’t prove anything. She’s delusional, that girl, it said so in the letter she gave me. I shouldn’t have taken her so seriously.”

 

"We're all capable of twisting accounts to further our agendas. Most people choose not to, though.

 

“Indeed.” Marigold looked at Rose’s stall. “So, what is your role at this... Pride?”

 

Rose looked away. "...Just visiting."

 

“Is that so? Is that why you have an entire stall out here?”

 

"This... isn't mine." Rose looked sheepish. "Oh, fine. Since I'm back, I'm just helping run this stall for helplines and councillors."

 

“Oh? I wasn’t aware of those.”

 

"That's why it's good we've got a stall for it. A lot of LGBT kids face homelessness and are at high risk of suicide." Rose nodded, pointing to the posters behind her.

 

“Oh.”

It made sense. Marigold was painfully aware of what would have happened to _her_ if she’d tried to come out as gay as a teenager.

_Yeah, that would be why I repressed it for so long._

It reminded her of someone else, though.

_Laramy killed herself. She was... trans. He. He was trans._

 

"It would have been neat to have these numbers available at school but apparently you've turned the notion down."

 

That startled Marigold. “Did I?” she asked.

She didn’t remember. “Send it again, I’ll see what I can do.”

 

Rose looked a little taken aback. "Oh. Alright."

 

“You seem surprised. This... event has done a lot to educate me, so I’m sure it’s benefitted the students as well. I’m assuming you were involved in setting it up?”

 

"One of a few." Rose's mouth felt dry. "Are you... actually complimenting the event or is this really well disguised passive aggression?"

 

“I would never dream of such a thing,” Marigold said, and in that moment, she meant it. She also immediately knew that sober her felt differently. “It’s an impressive feat of teamwork. Next time I’d like to be told beforehand, though.”

 

"I'm sure you'll be told once the team doesn't fear you cancelling the event."

 

Marigold swallowed. She deserved that.

“I’m sure it won’t be an issue in the future,” she said.

 

"That's great to hear."

 

Marigold inclined her head. “Thank you for your good work. I’ll see you in school.”

She didn’t pick up any of the leaflets, although she wanted to. She was still pretending to be straight, after all.

_I just want to go home now._

 

Rose watched her for a few minutes. "Sure. Have a pleasant day."

 

Marigold found her way to her car. Sat inside.

The drug-induced visuals were fading, and she felt tired. _I should be okay to drive._

On a whim, she took out her phone and dialled Aurora.

 

It rang for a few seconds and went straight to her voicemail.

 

Marigold hesitated, then said, “Hey, Aurora... I’m just calling to let you know that I’m going home. I should be okay, I think, I don’t think I’m too high to drive.”

Only static answered her. Marigold swallowed.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “For everything. I – I’ll speak to you soon.”

 

 

 


	79. Act V - Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! Ronnie was down with the flu this week, so illustrations took a little longer.
> 
> No warnings for this chapter. Enjoy!

It was the last day before the easter holidays and Buck Dewey was, there was no other way to put it, terrified.

He’d considered not going to school this morning. But that would look suspicious. His father was firmly of the opinion that he’d missed enough school already, so he wouldn’t cover for him. And Principal Diamond would be sure to call if he didn’t turn up.

Coming out as trans had been less scary than going to school that morning, he was convinced.

So he went. Homeroom was abuzz with speculation about Diamond, who’d apparently been surprisingly... nice about Pride.

It was just the calm before the storm, Buck was sure. _She’s gonna have all our heads, and mine especially._

 

_ _

 

About five minutes into registration, there was a knock on the door. Marigold Diamond loomed behind.

 

Buck went pale (well, more pale than he already was), and briefly considered jumping out of the window. But it was too late now.

 

Marigold made eye contact and beckoned him out of the room with a hand. Her face expressionless.

 

Buck shot a look at Jenny next to him.

“See you in hell,” he said, getting up and following Diamond out of the room.

 

Marigold began to walk the second he stepped out. "Let's go somewhere a little more private."

 

Buck’s heart was in his throat. He said nothing, just followed her.

 

They came to a closed off corridor. Marigold dug into a blazer pocket and produced a small envelope. "I've changed your name on the register. Your old ID card is going to be invalid."

 

Buck stared at her. Questioning his sanity.

“I... excuse me?”

 

Marigold took a sharp inhale. "I realise now that the way I've chosen to act towards your identity was disrespectful and inappropriate. This is an olive branch."

 

Buck frowned, not trusting his luck. “So what’s the catch?”

 

"Accept me as a reformed person, and in turn you won't hear anything from the drug services for the incident last week."

 

Buck stared at her.

“You didn’t take it, did you?” he said after a long pause.

 

"Not a word." Marigold sniffed, unsmiling. "Get back to class, Buck."

 

His eyes widened. “You just called me _Buck_. Oh my... I mean, thank you, Principal.”

 

She turned around. "Took much too long. Have a good day, now."

 

“...thank you. You too.” And he turned and forced himself to walk to homeroom slowly. Gotta keep it cool.

He couldn’t keep the huge grin off his face, though.

 

Marigold turned again to watch him go, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as well.

Perhaps things could change.

"I need to be better. I can be better."

 

 

END OF ACT V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This... monstrosity of an act is finally over!!
> 
> Because this chapter is really short, we're publishing another one - probably tomorrow! That one is an intermission and also quite short. And then in two weeks we'll get going with Act 6!!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed Act 5!!


	80. Intermission

After Claire's death, Marigold did not return to Bridge club.

Instead, she used her skills elsewhere, hopping from club to club, winning money sometimes, more often losing it. She had the good sense to invest a significant proportion of Claire's inheritance early; she realised, years later, that if she hadn't done that, she'd truly be a poor woman.

Her only constant companion apart from the wine she drank both to remember and forget Claire was loneliness. She tried making friends at the new establishments she visited. Seduced men in her efforts to forget that none of them appealed to her.

Found, more often than not, that she hated them. The men she associated with were crude, laughed too loud, and touched her with inelegance. She was disgusted at them, and disgusted at herself for letting them touch her.

But it took years, years of this for her to stop.

One Sunday morning, she was in church for the first time in many weeks. Often, she was hungover, or worse, still drunk, and whenever she attempted to set foot in a holy building, she felt God's eye on her, more so than ever before. She shied away from it. Hid in her house. It was easier to face another bottle of wine than the fact that God was disappointed in her.

And He was, there was no doubt about it.

It was a grey autumn morning, mist clinging to the ground.

The sermon spoke of God's forgiveness. Part of the scripture was from Jeremiah 29.

_Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart._

And Marigold realised.

She'd done wrong - not with her misdeeds, her sexual encounters, or her gambling addiction. No, she'd done wrong by forsaking God.

But He was waiting for her. He was waiting for her to find Him.

And find Him she did.

 

Three years later, Marigold Diamond, cured of her gambling addiction and sober of alcohol, was promoted to Principal of the school she worked at.

She was more religious than ever, cleansed even of her impure thoughts towards women, her kiss with Claire all but forgotten. She was celibate, and a self-appointed protector of her girls' virtue.

Yes; none of the students in her care would ever be allowed to fall to such corruption.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act 6 will kick off on the 17th!!
> 
> Watch out for an announcement on our [blog](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/) around that time as well!!


	81. Act VI - Chapter I: Redemption

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Act 6! This act is a wild ride, and it will probably be longer than Act 5!
> 
> We would like to take this point to thank all of you who've stuck with us for this long. Honestly it's so great to see so many people enjoy this silly high school AU that evolved from a silly roleplay and got a little out of hand. It's now officially in its third year of being written!!
> 
> For those of you who would like to give something back, we have a [Patreon](https://patreon.com/ronyx) now!! For as little as $2 a month, you can get previews of future chapters, progress pictures of the illustrations and more!! So check it out, if you like!!
> 
> Act 6 is going to be long, so EtV will keep going for probably at least another year or two or more, and after that, we might have other projects as well, so if you decide to become a patron, there's lots of content to look forward to!!
> 
> Thank you again for sticking with us - if you're reading this, you're a star!
> 
> Content warnings for this chapter: Homophobia, mentions of abuse.

 

 

It was Easter Sunday, the most sacred holiday of the Christian faith, and Marigold Diamond had made it to her church early.

For the first time in her life, things felt a little off at church. Moreso than they had three days ago, on Good Friday, where she’d attended the morning mass and felt at peace with God. Today, things were only a little bit out of order, only enough for her to notice.

It was likely nothing to do with her church. Or with God. Nothing had changed since Friday as far as she could tell. No, it was her who was different.

Loneliness had been her constant companion over Easter. And she didn’t like it. She’d been lonely since before Christmas, but Easter was always special. Had been special. Marigold tended to give up alcohol for lent, but she’d spent Easter with Aurora anyway. Just being with each other. Carefully controlled, never sexual until Easter Monday when she would get drunk because lent was over. But Aurora was wonderful company. They would talk, spend the day together. Aurora would accompany her to church. She would prepare a wonderful meal. She would mix drinks for Marigold on Easter Monday, knowing full well what it meant to let Marigold have alcohol.

She missed Aurora. Missed her so much it hurt. She would still see her at school, but everything was wrong now. She hadn’t touched alcohol in months. Wouldn’t, after lent was over. She’d promised that to herself. No more alcohol.

The liturgy was the same as it was every year. The only bit where they brought in variation each year was the music. Marigold listened, prayed when she was told, said the familiar words. And then looked towards the children’s choir, lead today by the young volunteer conductor, Vidalia.

 

_I may not be all that you are_

_I may not be a shining star_

_But what I am_

_I thank the Lord for making me His child_

 

Their voices were clear, dixion better than in any adult choir Marigold had ever heard. She understood every word.

 

_I may not be all that you are_

_I may not be a shining star_

_But what I am_

_I thank the Lord for making me His child_

 

The music was beautiful, the song surprisingly not one she’d heard before. It moved her.

She’d done wrong. She’d sinned. She’d disgraced herself and let herself be led astray. She’d fallen in with the wicked.

 

_Thank you, Lord, for hearing every prayer_

_Thank you, Lord, for just being there_

_Thank you, Lord, thank you, Lord_

_For I am not worthy of your love_

 

Indeed she was not worthy, not worthy to be seen as a child of God, God whom she had tried to follow all her life.

She had done wrong. So very wrong. She needed to repent.

She didn’t realise she was crying until she felt the wetness on her cheeks.

 

_I may not be all that you are_

_I may not be a shining star_

_But what I am_

_I thank the Lord for making me His child_

 

Suddenly, outside the church, the sun came out. Beams of light fell through coloured windows and hit the floor, the walls. Marigold looked up.

 

_Thank you, Lord, for hearing every prayer_

_Thank you, Lord, for just being there_

_Thank you, Lord, thank you, Lord_

_For I am not worthy of your love_

 

There was hope still. The Lord hadn’t forsaken her. He was still there. He was still there. He heard her prayers. He was still there. She was not worthy; but God was merciful. He had not forsaken her.

 

_So don’t use me, or abuse me_

_For I am still His child_

_Don’t tease me, or mistreat me_

_For I am still His child_

_You can even talk about me_

_But I am still His child_

 

It was all so clear to her.

She had done wrong.

But the Lord smiled down on her today. She was still His child.

 

 

It was this that convinced her to go up to the vicar after mass. She hadn’t done this in years. But now was as good a time as any.

“Father,” she said, her voice even. “I wish to confess.”

 

 

The confessional box still smelled the same way it had when she had last entered. She had often after mass sat in here, struggling with her own feelings. She never actually confessed.

It was time.

“Forgive me, Father,” she started, “for I have sinned.” The words fell so easy from her lips, even now. “It has been…” She closed her eyes. “Over five years since my last confession.”

“That’s a long time, child,” the vicar said, his monotone only slightly muted through the wood of the box. “Tell me of your transgressions.”

Marigold didn’t open her eyes. Slowly, she started recounting her sins. She started with the Christmas party five years ago which had lead her back into alcoholism and her forbidden desire for women. She talked about having sex with her young secretary on countless occasions. Talked about abusing her, manipulating her. Her voice was flat, her breathing harsh. She mentioned her distaste for displays of affection at school, she talked about punishing those who showed such things harshly. Talked about harassing queer members of staff. Talked about manipulating Pearl. Talked, again, about Aurora.

Finally, told him about giving up alcohol for good again. She hadn’t had sex since. Had tried to purge all impure thoughts from her mind. Hadn’t even touched Aurora apart from when she’d been drugged. Had been tempted, so many times. Had never given in fully.

She stopped, finally, emotionally exhausted. Holding back tears. But her heart felt lighter.

At least, until the vicar cleared his throat and said, “Those are truly grave transgressions, my child.”

Marigold held her breath.

“The Lord may be able to absolve you from them, if you promise to abstain from your desires towards other women. It is inappropriate. An abomination. You know that, my child.”

And suddenly, all Marigold could feel was rage. She stood.

“I come in here,” she said, her voice shaking. “I tell you about abusing people, stalking people – I’ve driven people to suicide with my attitudes, and you still think my attraction to women is the problem here?”

“Well, my child,” the vicar said, seemingly unfazed. “You see, all of these things stem from your inability to abstain –“

“You disgust me,” Marigold said, more harshly than she had intended. “Do you honestly believe the Lord will not forgive me for loving women?”

“It is written in the Holy Scripture,” the vicar said, his voice a little unsteady now. “It is an abom-“

“Stop.” Marigold’s hands were shaking. “Stop, in the name of all that is holy. Did you not hear it? The children sang it less than an hour ago, they sang it so beautiful. _I am still His child._ ”

“He cannot forgive –“

“You are just a human,” she said, hard. “You cannot know what He can or can’t forgive. His mercy is endless. My Lord is merciful. My Lord forgives. So if God Himself can forgive me, why can’t you?”

She didn’t wait for an answer. She stepped out of the box. The sun had gone again. Everything in this church suddenly seemed dark. Hostile. Uninviting.

She all but ran.

She only stopped when she was outside. It was cold for April, and she wrapped her coat around her as the enormity of what she had just done began to sink in.

Part of her wanted to laugh.

She’d been with this church all her life. A large part of her felt that leaving over something like this was silly.

But she knew. She knew for certain now. Her attraction to women, her love for Aurora. The fact that she had had sex with Aurora. Those were not the sins she had to repent from.

It was the fact that she’d abused Aurora. Abused queer kids in her school. Let out her hate of herself on others. Made others suffer for her own perceived greatest flaw.

And she knew now. She would never be accepted as she was in this church.

Foggy memories from her trip returned. She didn’t remember all, but a few moments stood out, clear as daylight.

_This is just the way I am. I’m never going to change._

She stood, lost, for several minutes. She didn’t want to go home. She didn’t want to be alone again. Going back wasn’t an option.

Her head was hurting. Her joints were hurting from sitting for so long. Absent-mindedly, Marigold dug through her bag until she found a packet of paracetamol. Swallowed two.

She had nowhere to go.

As she slipped the painkillers back into her bag, her fingers touched her phone.

She had nowhere to go, no one to call… except for _her._

Aurora.

Aurora, who had loved her for five years despite everything.

Aurora, who she had so cruelly forsaken. Aurora, who had still taken care of her during her trip. Aurora, who had been cold towards her and with good reason. Aurora, who Marigold loved.

She wasn’t drunk or drugged, so the realisation startled her a little.

But of course. She loved Aurora. She loved her. Wanted nothing but to protect her and atone for what she’d done. If she ever could.

She found Rori’s number in her phone. She hadn’t tried texting or calling since her trip. Maybe Aurora would actually answer the phone.

Her heart was in her throat as her finger hovered over the screen for a full minute, unable to make up her mind.

And then, she figured, all she could do was try.

She tapped the Call button. Her heart beating faster as she raised the phone to her ear. A few seconds passed with rising anxiety. Until the line clicked and she heard that beloved voice.

“…Hello?”

“Aurora,” Marigold breathed, relief flooding through her. “Aurora, it’s… me. Marigold. I… I… I’m – in the neighbourhood.” A lie – it would take her twenty minutes to drive to Aurora’s place. “I – do you think I could come by yours for a bit?”

Her voice was still shaking a little. Aurora must have noticed.

“Of course.” The cold undertones were there, but less so than before.

“Thank you,” Marigold said. “I’ll see you soon, then.”

She hung up before Aurora got the chance to answer. Her heart fluttered in nervous excitement as she walked to her car, started the engine and began to drive.

 

She was at Aurora’s a little less than half an hour later. She knew the address, had driven Aurora here. Had always refused to come up with her.

She realised belatedly that she had never seen Aurora’s flat. Their entire relationship had always taken place at Marigold’s place. The place where she held all the power.

She felt powerless now. It was not an unwelcome feeling.

She took the stairs. Her joints would make her regret this in the morning, but right now she didn’t care. She wasn’t quite ready to face Aurora yet. She was scared. So scared that somewhere along the way, she had irreparably ruined things between her and Aurora.

And it would be her fault. Hers alone. No responsibilty for any of this could ever be given to Aurora.

She was out of breath by the time she got to Aurora’s flat. Took a few moments to catch herself, then rang the doorbell.

 

Time seemed to stand still for a few seconds. Even enough to provoke thoughts of potential abandonment.

And yet, despite everything, Aurora pressed open the door ajar. Her eyes fixated on her guest before awkwardly looking around. "You're here."

 

Yes, she was here. And so was Aurora.

Marigold thought her heart was going to burst. And for the first time in a lifetime, she didn’t try to suppress the feeling or push it away. For the first time ever – while she was sober, at least – she recognised her feelings, and allowed them in.

For a long moment, she said nothing. Felt nothing but love for Aurora.

“May I come in?” she then said softly.

 

"Of course." Aurora stepped aside and opened her arms. "I can take your coat."

 

Marigold took a few moments to react, wanting nothing more than to embrace those arms and never let go.

She couldn’t. Aurora hadn’t given her permission.

“Thank you,” she said, hoarsely.

She managed to tear her gaze away from Aurora for long enough to take in her surroundings.

The first thing that struck her was just how… yellow everything was. It wasn’t necessarily a surprise.

But despite the fact that she had never been here before, things felt… familiar. It might have been the scent. It might have been the colour.

It might have been the fact that everywhere she looked, Marigold saw herself reflected in this place. The way Aurora had arranged the furniture. The way she had decorated. Tiny details here and there, but so ubiquitous that it was impossible to miss them.

Her heart ached as she realised just how much she had dominated this poor girl’s life over the past few years.

 

Aurora paced the apartment slowly. "Make yourself at home. You've come at a pretty good time, Amy is out for a couple of hours." She nodded to the sofa and busied herself with a kettle. "I'm making chamomile tea. Would you like any?"

 

“...please.” Tea sounded nice. Hesitantly, Marigold made her way to the living room and sat down, feeling that everywhere she went, she was taking up too much space.

_I shouldn’t be here, I don’t belong here. I shouldn’t bother her._

She felt tears, again. She was sober, so she could fight them.

Part of her didn’t want to.

 

The sound of cups clinking and cupboard doors closing filled the room. Aurora stood by the kettle as it boiled. "How are you recovering? I've given you some space to sober up. I hope you didn't mind. Being so close to you opened up a lot of wounds and I needed some space to recover."

 

For a long moment, Marigold said nothing. Just looked at Aurora.

The noise died down as the kettle boiled.

“I just walked out of my church because they told me loving women is something God won’t forgive,” she then said flatly.

 

"Oh... " Aurora's eyes widened, and she coughed awkwardly. "Oh. I... wow. That's quite the... change. Are you okay?"

 

“No.” Marigold laughed. She felt hollow. “That church was the only support system I’ve had for... decades. But it all felt wrong suddenly. I went to confess my sins, all the awful things I did to you – to everyone in the school... and the only thing the vicar found issue with was my attraction to women.”

She fell silent. Tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.

She didn’t hold them back. She was exhausted.

 

Aurora stood for a bit, and then came over with a mug of tea. The sweet smell of chamomile wafted around it. "Well. Can you see how it would explain why you hate that part of yourself so much? So irrationally?"

 

Marigold closed her eyes.

“My parents never wanted me to be this way. Nobody at church ever did. Wrong and disgusting and an abomination...”

She looked up, looked at Aurora. She was suddenly quite conscious of her heart beating, and the way the world just seemed to... _light up_ whenever she looked at Aurora.

“You look... so beautiful. You always have been so beautiful and I should have treated you better and – and I don’t understand how loving you... can be so wrong... when it feels like it’s the only thing I’ll ever want.”

 

 

 

Aurora nodded, returning with her tea. She listened as Marigold spoke. Her reactions minute. "I'm glad you're starting to feel less guilty about your desires and feelings when sober. It's... good to see you like this, Mari."

 

“It hurts,” Marigold admitted, “but I feel... lighter. I... I don’t think I should be here, though... I didn’t know where else to go. But... I’ve caused you so much pain. The right thing would be to let you go.”

 

"I'm glad you see it that way, too." Aurora put her tea down, fiddling with the table. "Truth be told, I'm still processing really even being civil to you. I mean... it's hard having to justify spending time being nice to you again."

 

“You don’t have to,” Marigold said. “You don’t, I... I’ll only stay if you want me to stay. I can leave... whenever you want.”

 

"No. I think... we need to have this. You... gave me some faith before but... you weren't sober and I want to know if you really want to try to repair things. You're going to need to work on yourself."

 

Marigold hung her head. “I do,” she said. “I... have done so many things wrong. But I... I love you.” It felt strange, saying it. She didn’t even remember if she’d ever said it while drunk.

But it felt right.

“And I don’t want to live without you.”

 

Aurora sat for a while, in thought. "If you want that, you're going to need to agree to a few very basic things. Even for just my friendship."

 

Marigold nodded. “Of course. Anything.”

 

"Don't demand my complete time like you did. You... made me feel guilty to even see my family when they needed me. You're never going to come before my sisters, ever again. And you're going to need to be okay with that."

 

Marigold nodded.

“I can’t ever presume that I’m entitled to your time,” she said. “Or your love. I took... so much. I can’t take more than you’re willing to give.”

 

"I'm glad you see it that way." Aurora's voice softened a little. "I'd also like you to realise that the way you treated me was wrong and inappropriate and hurtful. I need you to understand and admit to the fact you used me."

 

Marigold took in a deep breath. Held it for a moment.

“I mistreated you and I abused you,” she said softly. Her throat felt tight. “My... repression and alcoholism... can’t and don’t excuse that... I used you when I could and threw you out when it got inconvenient. I mistreated you. I... traumatised you, probably. I can’t do that again.”

 

"Okay. Couple of things. I get to lay out my boundaries, too. And you have to go and get some help for your mental state, too. I'm here to support you, but I want you to make an active effort on helping yourself."

 

Marigold nodded. A little overwhelmed.

“Thank you for being here,” she said softly. “You have every right to tell me to... piss of... and yet here we are... thank you.”

 

"All I ever wanted was for you to realise some things you did weren't okay and that it's okay to be queer. You're not a monster." Aurora finished the mug. "I haven't been an angel, either. But unlike the church, I'll try to give you reason not to walk out.”

 

Marigold sniffed. Clutching her mug of tea like it was the only thing that was keeping her grounded.

“I... still can’t believe I did that,” she said softly. “I... I left a lot of people behind today... and it feels like I have no one... I... do you... think there’s a church that won’t hate me for what I am?”

 

"Of course. We could even Google it while you're here." Aurora frowned, remembering Marigold's... online exploring habits. "Actually, it'll take you an hour. Let's take a look on my laptop."

 

“Sure.”

Marigold felt lost and scared. Not sure if she was ready to face church again.

She wanted to, though. Her connection to God was important.

“Thank you,” she said, again.

 

Aurora pulled up Chrome on her desktop and queried 'LGBT churches' near the area, and then passed the laptop to Marigold. "Take a look."

 

The laptop showed many search results – more than Marigold had expected. She found the prospect of looking through all those results... daunting.

“How do I know which one is good?” she said, a little helpless.

 

"You got to find that out yourself. You could go in and visit some with a friend." Aurora shrugged and got up to refill her tea. "Though, I'm sure if you call them up and explain your situation they'll be no strangers to helping you."

 

“Maybe.”

_Visit some with a friend..._

“I don’t have friends, Aurora,” Marigold said softly.

 

"None at all? What about that woman you seem to have eternal sexual tension with that isn't me?"

 

“Who?” Marigold frowned, before realising. “Oh, you mean Azure? She doesn’t count. I’m convinced she hates me – and even if she doesn’t... she... I couldn’t.”

 

"She's dating Blue and... I'm going to guess she's religious, too." Aurora shrugged, returning with the kettle. "But if she's not a good fit... I'm sure you'll find some fellow Christian queers. More tea?"

 

“Thank you.” Marigold absent-mindedly held out her mug. “You think we have... sexual tension?”

 

"It happens when you have history like ours. Unless you're going to argue you haven't been a repressed mess ever since we broke up."

 

Marigold fell silent.

Sipped her tea.

“I... missed you,” she then said softly. “Every day.”

 

"I did, too. No matter how much I tried to convince myself to hate you." Aurora sighed. "I missed our intimacy. Even when I tried to be intimate again... It was nice. But it wasn't the same."

 

Marigold looked at her.

“Were you... intimate wth someone else?” she asked. Not accusatory.

 

"Yeah." Aurora stared her down, fists curled as she expected a reprimand. "I was."

 

“Oh.” Marigold, however, was only mildly surprised. “I don’t blame you. I can’t have been very good.”

 

"You were the best." Aurora sighed. "When you wanted me."

 

Marigold stared at her. Wanting, needing to touch her.

But could she? Was she allowed, after everything she’d done?

She reached out, hesitant, questioning. Her heart galloping in her chest.

“May I...?” she asked, not quite touching, but her intent clear.

 

"Marigold..." Aurora's voice was raspy. "Perhaps you should slow down. I can't be friends with someone who... treats intimacy as a desperate coping mechanism. I'm worth more than that. I value myself more than that."

 

Marigold’s hand dropped away from Aurora. She felt cold, brought a few more inches of distance between them.

“I’m... sorry,” she whispered. “I... I’ve longed to touch you... every day... but you don’t owe me that... you don’t owe me anything.”

 

Aurora watched her and then softly grabbed her hand. "Things are going to be okay. Maybe not the same they were but... that's okay because they needed to change."

 

 

Marigold squeezed Aurora’s hand. Almost crying with relief.

“I love you,” she said. “I love you. I... I’m sorry for how I treated you... I’ll do better. I’ll have to. I’ll do better. I love you.”

 

Aurora watched her and nodded. "I'll believe it when I see it. But I'll support you getting there."

 

Marigold’s eyes were brimming with tears.

_I wish you could trust me... but that would already be asking too much._

“I should go,” she said softly.

 

"Are you going to be safe?"

 

“I’ll be okay.” Marigold got up. “Thank you for the tea... thank you for everything.”

 

"Of course." Aurora nodded, standing with her. Numb. "Feel free to text me if you need to talk."

 

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” Marigold didn’t quite know what to do. She remembered where the door was and made her way there.

She desperately wanted to hug Aurora, kiss her, or just... anything.

She knew she couldn’t.

 

"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" Aurora stood in the doorway.

 

“Yes... yes, I’ll be fine.” Part of her wanted nothing more than to find the nearest liquor store and buy it dry. She vigorously pushed that thought away. “I’ll... make plans on how to get better. I don’t know how but I’ll do it. For you... for me. For us.”

 

"I'd like that. I'd like that a lot. Let me know if there's anything I can do, okay?" Aurora paused. "And Marigold?"

 

Marigold held her gaze, her heart in her throat. “Yes?” she whispered.

 

"If you're really going to behave more like this... Lemme know when you're 'in town' more."

 

Marigold swallowed. “Of course, Aurora.”

This time, she managed to keep her tears at bay. God knew Aurora had seen her cry more than enough lately.

“I’ll see you.”

 

"See you around, Mari."

 

Marigold nodded, stiffly, then turned on her heel and left. Vaguely remembering where the elevators were.

She didn’t look back, and held it together until she was in her car.

She allowed a single tear. Just one.

_Claire would be proud of me._

She sighed, then started the ignition and prepared to drive home.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Marigold hears at church at the start of the chapter is "I am his child" by Moses Hogan. It's incredibly cheesy. I (Onyx) sang it at youth choir a billion years ago and it stuck with me for some reason. [Here's a recording!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PTySUaKKPU)


	82. Act VI – Chapter II: Limbo

The easter holidays had started, and so far, Rose had not heard anything from Pearl. A few days in, she decided to text her.

_Hey Pearl, I hope you’re doing okay. Would you be up for meeting me for coffee one of these days?_

 

The reply was almost instant. _Is that appropriate? :^o_

 

 

 

_Not as a date. I would just like to see you, as a friend perhaps._ _I_ _can bring Greg, if that would make you feel better._

 

_Greg! Oh, sure. I'll have to think about it but what day are you thinking of?_

_Thursday, maybe? Unless that doesn’t suit you?_

 

_I'm good for the evening!_

 

_That sounds good. There’s a nice little cafe near me, unless you want to go back to the one next to the school?_

 

_Something new might be nice_

_Let's do that, then._

 

Incidentally, it was the same cafe that Rose had taken Greg to, back when she first met him. It wasn’t a conscious decision on her part; she remembered it when they entered the cafe together.

“This will be interesting,” she told Greg, but she was smiling. A good kind of interesting, hopefully.

 

Greg gave her an apprehensive look. "I'm just gonna trust you on this, okay? But I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me."

Pearl was already sat at an area with communal black leather couches. The bitter smell of coffee permeated the air.

 

 

“Oh, it’s going to be okay. She practically asked for you to be there.” Not technically true, but it wasn’t that far off, Rose thought. “Oh, look, there she is! Hello, Pearl!”

 

Pearl looked up from her book. "Oh, hello!" She looked at Greg and her smile immediately looked more forced. "How are you two?"

 

“Good! We’ve had a very relaxing few days. How are you?” Rose sat down opposite Pearl. “Enjoying your time off school?”

 

 

"Yeah. It's been mostly me revising for exams. I'm kind of scared, now that my future depends on it." Pearl fished a teabag out of a tall mug.

 

“Oh, are you planning on applying to university, then?” They hadn’t really talked about it since... going to the open day.

 

"Yeah. I sent my application shortly after you... left." Pearl nodded. She slid the dessert menu to Greg.

"You guys been well?"

 

“Yeah. I’ll be coming back to school after the holidays, so I’ve been preparing for that,” Rose said. “Greg’s been looking for work. He might actually come to the school as well.”

 

"Yeah! You might get to see more of me around." He gave a smile to Pearl who half met it.

"Yes, it is a shame I'll be leaving soon." At least she tried to sound genuine.

 

“Are you going to move out for university?” Rose asked.

 

"Pfft, that's all the way in September." Pearl rolled her eyes, taking a sip of tea. She raised her pinky finger as she did so. "That's even if I manage to do well on these exams."

 

“Oh, I’m sure you will. You’re a smart girl and you’ve always done well in my classes.” Rose smiled. “You should focus more on the ‘when’ and less on the ‘if’ – people much less talented than you have managed to get into university.”

 

Pearl gave a little laugh. "Ahh, it's just the old unrealistic expectations I've had from birth."

 

Rose knew she should probably stop, but couldn’t help herself. “What do you mean?”

 

Pearl shrugged. "My parents want me to get into uni with good grades. They don't seem to get that I suck at history."

 

Rose sighed. “Take it from someone who’s watched many students get into university. You just have to get in. After that, the playing field is level, and no one will ever care about what grades you got in school again. Don’t listen to your parents.”

 

It was Greg who interjected. "Your folks don't determine your intelligence, bud."

 

Pearl was silent for a few seconds, awkwardly looking around the room. "Thanks. I needed that."

 

The vulnerability surprised Rose. “Are your parents that bad?”

 

Pearl didn't say anything. She looked away. "It could be a lot worse. I'm very privileged, all things considered."

 

Rose read into the body language, feeling suddenly very uneasy. “Just because it could be worse doesn’t mean it’s not bad, Pearl. Are you safe?”

 

"Oh yeah, they'd never hurt me." Pearl's laugh grew more strained. "I'm finding ways to stay out of the house. It's really no big deal."

 

Rose frowned. “Yeah, I saw you going home with Aurora after you came to mine. I’m glad you’re getting on with her again.”

 

"Mostly because I have to." Pearl then gave a more genuine laugh. "No, things are actually getting better between us. But I can't just constantly stay there. Amy has her spare room. She's... um. Not the ideal roomate for me, I don't think."

 

“So where do you go when you can’t go there?”

 

"I stay in my room, where else?"

 

“Don’t you have anywhere else to go?”

 

"Um... no?" Pearl tilted her head. "I'm an unemployed student doing her exams. Not that minimum wage would support me leaving my home."

 

Rose hesitated. Looked at Greg. He wouldn’t like what she was about to say.

She swallowed.

“I have a spare room.”

 

Greg, of course, shot her a look. Pearl instinctively declined. "I'll be alright, Rose. Honestly. I've given you more than enough drama over the past year."

 

“If... you think so.” Rose gave a half-smile. “But if you ever feel like you have nowhere else to go, you’ll be more than welcome to stay for a night. Or a few. I’m sure Greg won’t mind. Will you, Greg?”

 

"I'll try my best to stay outta your way." he looked rather sheepish.

Pearl nodded, "I'll keep it in mind."

 

“Please do. It would be nice to get a text or something in advance, just so you don’t catch us entirely unprepared – and so one of us is actually in when you get there.” Rose smiled.

She was still smiling when the waitress came to take their orders. “I’ll have a coffee, please... and a slice of that victoria sponge cake.”

 

\---

 

She’d thought about where to go after meeting Rose, and eventually, Pearl had decided to once again go to Aurora’s.

The travel took a while. She rang the doorbell, trying to figure out how best to ask Aurora for a spare key.

 

Amethyst answered the door. "Oh, you didn't say you were coming. Yo. Come in."

 

Pearl shrugged out of her coat, her shoulders slumping. “I can... go, if you don’t want me around.”

 

"Nah, it's cool. Rori isn't in though, if you wanted to see her." Amethyst closed the door behind Pearl. "You're just gonna have to deal with me."

 

“That’s okay. Well, unless you don’t want me around. I could just...” Pearl lifted her shoulders, a little helpless. “Hang out in the living room, I guess?”

 

"Pft, nah. We can chill together. Rori's been out for ages so it's a bit messy." Amethyst opened the fridge. "She cleaned this morning. You can help me clean it up before she gets back, right?" The house was in an unusual state of disarray. Mostly from various deposited food packets.

 

Pearl looked around, frowned. “Wow, Amethyst. What did you do?” She then spied an empty bag. “Oh, are those... the pizza rolls I got the other day?” She tried to hide her disappointment. It was still rare for her to want any food, especially things as fatty and unhealthy as pizza rolls, but they’d looked so tasty on the wrapper. She’d looked forward to having them.

 

"Yeah, dude. Just found them in the freezer and Aurora wasn't gonna have em because she can't have milk." Amethyst shrugged. "I did whatever, really. Got high. Ate. Oh, check out what I did instead of revising for my exams." She ran to the corner and pulled out a porcelain figurine. "I've really gotten into repainting these recently." The figurine of a woman was now holding a severed crudely painted penis. "Pretty neat, huh?"

 

 

“Sure.” Pearl sighed and sat down on the sofa. Her mood suddenly dropped. “What are you up to just now?”

 

"Like I said... not revising." Amethyst jumped next to her without prompting, making the sofa rock. "But I'm down to watch something or just hang, yanno."

 

“I was... planning to study for a little bit,” Pearl said. “Sorry, lame. I know. But I just don’t want to fail.”

 

"As if you're gonna." Amy rolled her eyes. "You could take that bio test tomorrow and be better than most of the class."

 

“Well, if you say so – but it still doesn’t hurt to be prepared,” Pearl said. Then hesitantly added, “But you’re probably right. Rose said I’d be okay, too. I – I told you I was seeing her, right?” A mild feeling of guilt: She didn’t think she had told Amethyst, which upon reflection had probably been a mistake.

 

"Yo, what the fuck. Why are you guys even talking this much?" Amy frowned, a hiss in her tone.

 

“I just met her and her boyfriend over coffee. There isn’t even anything going on. We’re just... trying to rebuild a friendly relationship, I guess.” Pearl blushed, fought the urge to hide her face.

 

"The boyfriend you don't like? God you people are just... Weird."

 

Pearl frowned.

“And what... do you mean by that?”

 

"Just... the whole poly thing. Your entire relationship with your teacher. The fact that you guys are still... like, talking after you called her out for being a literal predator. Like yo, that's your own words, right there."

 

“But I just said that because I felt hurt and betrayed! I mean...” Pearl shook her head. “We talked about it, okay? And she explained – a lot of things and I know she doesn’t have bad intentions. And anyway, it’s my business, so why do you care so much?”

 

"Because I'm your best friend and you never tell me jack shit about anything anymore." Amethyst balled her fists. "You don't tell me what people you like or what you like about em. Right now all I can gather is that your preference is fat cunts who deal with your bullshit."

 

Pearl looked away like she’d been slapped. Clenched her teeth and tried to breathe. _One, two, three, four-_

“Well, first of all, rude,” she snapped, interrupting her internal counting. “And _maybe_ I’d still actually talk to you if you didn’t give me so many mixed signals all the time!”

 

"Maybe I wouldn't give you such mixed signals if you gave me some kind of constant way to feel about you." Amy huffed.

 

“Well, maybe it’s not my job to help you figure out your feelings? And like, I’m sorry about how I acted before but I don’t even know what you _want_.” Pearl turned away, balled her fists. Tried to breathe again.

_One, two, three, four..._

 

"I want you to make up your mind on who you wanna date." Amethyst looked away. "I want you to stop hanging out with her. It's weird."

 

“Well, I don’t want to stop hanging out with her! I... like her.” Pearl’s voice shook. “Maybe not in a romantic way, or maybe I do like her like that, but... I told you, I’m poly, and just... making up my mind when there’s several people I want to date isn’t how it works. And... I can’t date you if you’re going to keep getting upset over me liking other people. And dating other people, potentially.”

 

"I'm not upset by you... ugh." Amy wound her fists into balls, her face turning redder. "It's that you treat me different. You've never spent hours gushing about me to someone like you do with her... To me!"

 

Pearl fell silent. Swallowed. She felt... called out.

“But that’s because... you’re my best friend,” she said softly, “and for the record, I’ve been telling people about you – Rose and Aurora... and... a relationship with you might be healthier than my relationship with Rose could ever be. Because I’m not putting you on a pedestal like I do with her.”

 

"But it just makes me feel less special!" Amethyst's voice raised. "It just makes me feel like some fucking side chick. I mean... that's how I've always felt but... you guys aren't even dating anymore. I shouldn't feel this way."

 

Pearl swallowed heavily, tears in her eyes. “But Amy,” she said softly, “if anything it makes you _more_ special. I don’t recall ever... ever having a healthy relationship, with anyone. Not even my family, and definitely none of the people I’ve dated or come close to dating. Just... just you because you’re my best friend, and I don’t have that... dumb BPD attachment. Because the dumb BPD attachment means I start hating people the moment they do anything wrong, no matter how minor it might be. And you saw how that went with Rose. I nearly got her fired. I could have ruined her life. All because I was a little upset."

 

"Then maybe you shouldn't do relationships. If you're just going to either fuck people over or make them feel like this." Amy shook, her glare piercing behind her dark eyes.

 

“Well, yeah, maybe I shouldn’t. Though my _therapist_ says that if I work on my behaviours there’s really nothing stopping me from having good and healthy relationships. But I’m not going to force you to be part of my recovery if you don’t want to.”

 

Amy looked at her and didn't speak for a few minutes.

She then dug out a wad of tobacco. "Fuck this, I'm getting high."

 

Pearl sighed. “If that’s what you want. Are you going to change your mind on all this when you’re high?”

 

"Maybe. I'm easier to like when I'm high." Amethyst shrugged, grinding the herb. "Like how we only ever seem to fuck when I'm out of my mind on something. Maybe it's the only way people ever really like me."

 

Pearl frowned. “I got the impression it was the other way round. As in, you only ever seem to want me when you’re... intoxicated.”

 

"What, no?" Amy turned to her, frowning. "I literally always want to smash. I'm just too much of a pussy to ask."

 

“Oh. I... see.” Pearl stiffened. “Okay, in that case, I... suppose I would be up for things, in theory. But you have to ask me while you’re sober.”

 

"Sure." Her tone didn't sound all that convinced. "I'm gonna smoke this on the balcony. You in?"

 

Pearl hesitated, then nodded. “Might as well.”

 

The balcony was littered with roach butts. More than the last time Pearl had visited.

Amethyst tested a lighter. "Fucks sakes. Do you have one?"

 

“Should do.” Pearl didn’t smoke as much as she used to, but the lighter was still in its usual place in her pocket. She handed it to Amethyst. “There you go.”

 

"Thanks." Amy sparked the roll. Even the way she inhaled it seemed to be desperate. She didn't want to be sober.

 

Pearl watched her, a slight frown on her face. “Are you okay?”

 

"Yeah." A coldness in her tone. "Just hold up, I'll be more fun in a sec."

 

“...okay.” Pearl’s frown did not disappear. She sat, her hands folded in her lap, watching Amy.

 

It took her a solid minute before she passed it. "There ya go. Just making sure it's lit."

 

 

“Sure.” Pearl took a hit and found herself relaxing almost instantly. Come to think of it, she hadn’t smoked weed since the last time she’d been with Amy. “Feels nice.”

 

"Hell yeah. I've been smoking this strain for the past two weeks. Amnesia haze, lives up to its name. It's nuts." Amy seemed perked by the change in topic.

 

“I didn’t realise you were into the specifics so much,” Pearl said. “But that sounds cool.”

 

"Just lately. Been smoking a lot of dope to deal with shit."

 

Pearl’s frown was back. “You know that’s not healthy, right?”

 

"Whatever man, better than alcohol." Amethyst rolled her eyes. "Just spend a lot more but Rori covers it so whatever."

 

Pearl sighed. “I can’t believe she’s enabling your substance abuse. Don’t you think you should maybe get professional help?”

 

"Oh, come off it, P. It's just a herb, I can stop anytime I want."

 

“Oh yeah? Then do it. Right now. No more after this for at least a week. I dare you.” Pearl looked at Amethyst, hard.

 

"...Why?" Amethyst reached for the spliff. "I've still got a quarter on me. It's gonna go bad if I don't smoke it."

 

“Oh, I can take it off your hands if you’re that worried about it,” Pearl said lightly. “Also, if you seal it in an airtight bag it won’t go bad for a while. Definitely not in a week. You said you could stop at any point, so I’m asking you to prove it.”

 

"I can. Doesn't mean I wanna. Not with teachers chasing me up for exam shit. I've got time to kill until school's over forever and I don't really wanna exist."

 

“And that definitely doesn’t sound like you have a problem,” Pearl said, rolling her eyes. “Listen to yourself, Amethyst. What happened to you?”

 

"Uh... The usual? I mean, wouldcha rather me get drunk to escape, instead?"

 

Pearl shook her head, looking down sadly. “When I met you, you didn’t need drugs to be fun.”

 

"Shit changes." Amethyst sniffed, taking a hit. "I thought you'd get me."

 

Pearl stopped, sighed. “So, what is the problem, then?”

 

"I dunno, man. School is shit. I'm not gonna go to uni, didn't really even bother applying. Aurora was sad but said I had a place here as long as I needed it." She shrugged. "Don't like myself, don't like existing. Didn't ask to be born and don't wanna die. Homegirl is in fucking limbo."

 

“Ah.” Pearl looked at Amethyst. “Have you talked to any of the teachers about the fact that you don’t really know what to do? I’m sure they could give you tips and advice.”

 

"They'll just get mad at me for wasting my entire education. Look, P." Amy took a hit. "I'm not like you. I don't test well. I like making stuff and doing things but even then... that's on my good days."

 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you need to give up on... everything,” Pearl said. “Hell, I applied for Engineering and I don’t even know if my brain will be able to cope with the workload. And... I don’t know, it worries me that you don’t have anything planned.”

 

"I'll find a job or whatever." Amethyst rolled her eyes. "Jeeze, I don't know if I put enough in that one. Can barely feel it."

 

“Isn’t there anything you’d like to do?”

 

Amethyst shrugged. "You, mostly."

 

“Ask me when you’re sober.” Pearl held Amethyst’s gaze. “But seriously, though. Like... what do you want to do with your life?”

 

"I really have no idea. Am I... meant to?"

 

“No, I don’t think so. I don’t really know. But I know what I’m good at, and what I enjoy... and you must have something like that too.”

 

"Uh.... toking? Chilling? We don't have dispensaries here."

 

Pearl sighed. “I mean... whatever, I’m not your life coach. You could probably talk to Rose, if you wanted, she’s much better at this than I am.”

 

"Maybe."

 

“Maybe?” Pearl raised her eyebrows.

 

"I dunno. Don't wanna think about shit right now."

 

“Okay.” Pearl’s shoulders slumped. “But it would be nice to have you at Uni with me. I won’t know anyone in my year. We could live together.”

 

"Yeah? That actually doesn't sound too awful, actually."

 

“You could do some low-maintenance course that you don’t even really have to do anything for and we could just hang out. I dunno. You’re good at English, right? Much better than me.”

 

"I guess? I get decent grades even though Lazuli seems to hate me." She pondered. "Guess I'll see what I get on results day. I mean I'm not planning to show up to half of what I've got scheduled."

 

“You can probably talk to Lazuli anyway. I don’t think she hates you in particular, she just kind of hates everyone, but she’s still a teacher and has to help us get places, right?” Pearl shrugged.

 

"Guess I'll have to. I'll see if I can get round to it when I sober up."

 

“I can help you, if you want. It’s not like I can really go anywhere else.” Well, Rose had offered... but Pearl wasn’t going to accept that unless she really had nowhere else to go.

 

"Sure. Wanna watch a movie or something while you sober up?"

 

“Yeah, that sounds nice.” Pearl smiled at Amethyst.

 

 


	83. Act VI - Chapter III: Communication

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out our [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/ronyx), if you haven't already! Thanks so much for your support and for sticking with us, it means a lot to us!
> 
> Content warnings for this chapter: Mentions of abuse and self harm.

A few days were left until school would start again.

Marigold was staring at her phone, her finger hovering over the ‘send’ button of a text she had composed.

_Good morning, Aurora._

There was nothing risky about that text. Aurora had even said she could text her.

She closed her eyes and pressed send before she could change her mind again. Her heart was racing.

 

Aurora had been circling dates on her calendar when her phone caused her to glance over, hidden behind her laptop and monitors.

Marigold. Her heart did a small leap. Her eyes looked over the text, a familiar warmth in her chest as she processed it.

Play it cool, Aurora, she thought.

_Hi Mari! How are you?_

 

Marigold jumped when her phone buzzed. Her cheeks warming. Aurora.

She smiled as she read the simple text, immediately writing a reply.

_I’m okay. How are you?_

 

_ _

 

 _Yeah, doing good. Sobering up from last night and planning my schedule for next term._ Aurora replied.

 

 _What are you doing next term?_ Aurora had mentioned leaving the school; did she still want to do that?

 

_Just the usual. Exam season is going to end late this year so I'm planning for that but I'm also getting ready to go._

 

Marigold sighed. _I’ll have to hire a new secretary. It’ll be hard to find someone as good as you. What are your plans?_

 

 _Makeup. I've applied and got a placement on a full-time course_. Aurora smiled and then replied, _Felt kind of bad doing it around Pearl when I've already got my high school qualifications. She's still waiting for replies._

 

_She’ll be fine, she’s a smart girl. Well done for getting the place! I wish you nothing but success and happiness._

Marigold sent the text, then hesitated and selected a heart shaped emoji from the symbols offered to her, and sent that too.

 

_Thank you. I'm really going to try and make this term count! Should have a leaving do._

 

_Oh, that sounds nice. Would I be invited?_

Marigold hesitated, wondering if that was too forward, but then sent it, trying not to overthink too much.

 

 _Duh? Not sure if anyone else would even show up_. Aurora then smirked. Could she express herself? Would it be safe?

She frowned. Of course. Things were different. She wasn't afraid. _Maybe Rose Quartz. Imagine how awkward that would be! Just you and her_

 

 _Please, no. She hates me, and with good reason._ Marigold almost smiled. _There’s plenty of other members of staff who like you._

 

_yeah I guess. Maybe the local pub down the road? Or do you want to avoid other people having booze?_

 

_Yeah, I’m not sure I’d be comfortable with pubs. Or alcohol in general. God knows I’ve wasted far too much of my life drunk._

 

_Fair enough. Restaurant instead? I know a great sushi place :)_

 

_That sounds lovely. Don’t change your venue just on my behalf, though. It’s your party, after all._

 

_Don't worry. I'm just trying to be inclusive._

 

_You’re so lovely and considerate, Aurora._

 

_Flattery? Well, I never! I try._

 

 _It’s only the truth._ Marigold smiled at her phone.

 

_What are your plans for the term?_

 

Marigold frowned. _Nothing in particular, really. Try to convince the school I might not be as homophobic as they thought?_

 

_Oh, a redemption arc. Well, I guess we needed one of those this season. Better be good._

 

Marigold smiled at that. _I’ll do my best._

She hesitated, then sent another text. _I found a church I might want to go to. I’m very nervous, though._

 

_Oh?? Tell me about it!_

 

_St Michael’s. One of the staff goes there, and she told me about it at the Pride event. They have an LGBT support group, apparently._

 

_Right up your alley, then? Sounds good! When are you thinking of checking it out?_

 

_I don’t know._

Marigold stared at her phone, fighting an internal battle. Eventually, she succumbed.

_Do you think I could ask you to come with me when I go? I don’t know if I can go on my own._

 

_Of course! I'd love to see what they do to make it queer inclusive!_

 

Marigold smiled. It was like a weight was lifted off her shoulders.

_Thank you so much. I can’t tell you how much it means to me._

She then frowned.

_Well, they won’t have to work hard to be better than my old church. All they’d need to do is not tell the congregation that homosexuality is an irredeemable sin._

 

_I'm still appalled that isn't the norm._

 

_I don’t know what the norm is. This is the only church I’ve ever been to since childhood._

 

_I see. Well, maybe this could even be exciting and fun! New people? New friends?_

 

_Maybe. I’m scared. What if they don’t accept me for some other reason?_

 

_I'm sure they will accept you, Marigold. It'll be alright._

 

_If you say so. I’ll believe it when I see it._

 

_Are you okay otherwise? Haven't seen you for a while, you did organise that GP appointment, right?_

 

 _I’m doing okay._ Marigold’s shoulders slumped a little. _I forgot about the GP. I’ll do it tomorrow. Sorry._

 

_That's alright! I Just wanna see you get help asap. I could come with you for that, too?_

 

A smile; tension seeped out of Marigold’s body. _If you’re offering. It would probably help a lot. Thank you, Aurora. You don’t need to do these things for me._

 

_I know. It might just help to have someone who's experienced some of your issues to be there to talk about them._

 

Marigold didn’t quite know how to respond to that. She just stared at her phone for several minutes. She didn’t want to _not_ respond, but she also didn’t know what to say.

Finally, she typed in an answer. _Why are you doing all these lovely things for me? I hardly deserve it, after all that I did to you._

 

_Because I love you. And I want to help you get better, even if we never become as close as we were._

There was a pause before a second text. _You can recover. You can be better. You can correct the mistakes you've made. But it looks like you might need a hand with all that._

 

_It looks like I do._

Marigold had to clench her teeth to stop from tearing up. Which was silly, because she was on her own. But she didn’t want to cry.

Not from Aurora saying she loved her, which made her heart ache in the most unfamiliar way.

_It means a lot, Aurora. I find it hard to believe you still love me after everything that happened. But, if it means anything, I love you too. And I want nothing more than to be close to you again._

 

_I make no promises but you're on a good track :)_

 

 _Thank you._ Marigold swallowed heavily. _And I’m sorry. Again. For everything._

 

_I'm glad to hear you admitting to it. Let me know when you've got your appointment_

 

_I will. Thank you._

She leaned back. She still felt like crying; she wasn’t quite sure why.

 

\--

 

"Hey. Stop messing with that." Lapis pulled Malachite away from the cables supplying heat to the terrarium. She was met with an unblinking stare. "Not for you! Lemme clean your tank."

She dipped a sponge into water, wiping the glass. A loud shuffle behind her prompted her to turn around. Malachite had dived into the binbag she had set out to store dirty sand.  "No! You're gonna get sick!"

 

 

Jasper was in the bedroom, working out with some of her weights, but the doors were open and she heard Lapis struggling.

Reluctantly, she put down her weights and made her way into the living room. “You need some help?”

 

"Yeah, I'm just about to disinfect the tank so you can distract her. Or maybe take her into the other room." Lapis put the sponge down and picked Malachite up, cooing as she booped the iguana's nose. "Your nose is too sensitive, isn't it? Yes it is."

 

Jasper held out her hand for the iguana. “You know, sometimes I feel like we wouldn’t need all of Peri’s help or therapy or all that junk if you were as affectionate to me as you are with her,” she said. She was only partially joking. “I’ll take out the water bowl.” Malachite took after her mum, it seemed; she loved playing with water.

 

Lapis stared at her for a second and then rolled her eyes as she began to wipe at the tank sides. "I will always prioritise my children."

 

“Of course.” The way Malachite played with the water brought a smile to Jasper’s face. “Look at her, she’s having fun.”

 

Lapis turned around. "Well that's probably why I've had to do this twice this week. She keeps pooping in there and then splashing it everywhere." She rinsed her sponge again. "An animal of grace and beauty."

 

“A weird dog.” Jasper chuckled. “Do you think there’s something wrong with her that she keeps doing it, though?”

 

"She gets bored. I've been out of the house a lot and you don't play with her as much as I do. Maybe the extra sunshine is making her a bit mad, too." Lapis sighed. "School starts again in a few days. She's just gonna have less company."

 

“I’m sure between the three of us it’ll be okay,” Jasper said. “It’s been a while since we had the place all to ourselves, huh? Peri is nice to have around.”

 

"Yeah. Hope she's having more fun without us, though." Lapis set the sponge down and began to dry.

 

Malachite splashed some water onto Jasper and Jasper pulled a face. “What’s she doing again? Was it some kind of role play reenactment thing?”

 

"Yeah, apparently she's in some cool community stuff. Sounds like your kinda deal. Being melodramatic with a cape on."

 

“Maybe I should tag along next time. But you don’t like being on your own.” Jasper took her eyes off Malachite for a moment to smile at Lapis.

 

"Maybe I could come too. Sounds interesting. What if I get to play some kind of cool water witch?"

 

“I think her deal is sci-fi, so it’d have to be an alien water witch,” Jasper said. “And I could be a cool space general or something. Definitely with a cape on.”

 

"I may actually have an original character to suit that. Atop of eighty scrapped novella concepts." Lapis mused, "Oh! I hope I didn't leave the sand in the oven too long."

 

Jasper got up to check on the oven. “It’s fine!” she called. “I’ll turn it off, though.”

It was then that she noticed that Malachite was no longer at her water bowl. And, indeed, nowhere else to be seen either.

“Oh shit,” Jasper said.

 

"What's up?" Lapis called back.

 

“Malachite’s gone,” Jasper said, immediately bracing herself for punishment. “I’m sorry I should’ve watched her better I’m sorry I’m sorry.”

 

Lapis frowned, her fist curling. Jasper had one job. _One job_.

"Well, go and look for her! This area is still toxic is she gets too close."

 

“Okay okay okay,” Jasper said, crouching down as if to get away from Lapis’s eyes. She started checking Malachite’s favourite hiding places, almost mechanically, her heart pounding with fear of retribution. It was going to happen, she could taste it, and Peridot wasn’t here to calm Lapis down.

Malachite wasn’t underneath the sofa, nor in the small gap between the radiator and the wall. Jasper started freaking out.

 

Lapis had returned to feverishly drying the tank, checking behind her every few seconds. "Got her yet?"

 

“No! I’m looking, I’m looking!” Jasper looked under the sofa again. On the sofa, between the pillows. “I don’t know where she went!”

 

"Probably somewhere warm!" Lapis called back, her heart begging to race.

 

Jasper turned around, her eyes darting around frantically.

A speck of green by the oven caught her attention. Jasper gasped darted over.

...A bit of plastic from some packaging. Her shoulders slumped. “She’s not here.”

She could barely concentrate anymore from her imminent panic attack.

 

"Behind the oven." Lapis blinked. "Check behind the oven - it's warm there! But it's also dangerous."

 

“R-right,” Jasper said. Her hands were shaking as she pulled the oven away from the wall.

There sat Malachite, looking up at her in surprise, munching on something she probably wasn’t supposed to.

Jasper picked her up. “She’s here,” she said, her voice trembling.

 

 

Lapis waded into the kitchen, relief splashing over her features. "Oh, thank God. I'll put the oven back in."

 

Jasper’s hands were still trembling around the iguana. “Is her tank done, can I put her back there?” she asked.

 

"Still need to put stuff in but it's safe to return her." Lapis looked at her, anger rushing back. "Don't let her out of your sight."

 

“I won’t, I won’t, I won’t,” Jasper said, nervously. She set Malachite down inside her tank and closed the lid. “I – I’ll be in the bedroom.”

 

"Sure." Lapis watched her leave and began to tidy up the kitchen. She pulled the tray of sand away from the oven.

 

Jasper closed the door behind her and immediately curled up on the bed. Lapis would find her, Lapis would be mad. Lapis would punish her. And Peridot wasn’t here to stop her this time.

 

Lapis pulled Malachite out to insert the sand and laid the terrarium's contents back in.

She looked towards the bedroom. Jasper had seemed panicked. The thought of such control would have excited her.

_It won't go well. I need to help her._

"Jasp?" She lightly knocked on the door. "You okay?"

 

Jasper didn’t answer. Lapis was going to do what she wanted to do anyway.

 

Or... was she?

"Okay, I'll give you space if you promise me you're going to be safe?" Her voice lacked it's usual chill.

 

Jasper frowned, shot a glance towards the door.

“You... can come in, if you want,” she said, hesitantly.

 

"Sure." Lapis pushed at the door. "Sorry to be... weird. I'm just trying to do what we were working on at therapy. I didn't want to freak you out if you needed space. You okay?"

 

Jasper looked at her, slowly starting to relax a little. “I... think so,” she said, her voice coarse. “Aren’t you mad at me?”

 

"Yeah. And I'm not going to just not be mad but I'm trying to work on being better to you when you're like this and doing that is helping distract me from being mad."

 

Slowly, Jasper sat up.

“I should’ve paid better attention to Malachite,” she mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

 

"She's a quick girl." Lapis shrugged, walking closer and laying a hand on Jasper's arm. "It's why you need to be extra careful. You didn't hurt yourself, did you?"

 

“...No.” Surprisingly enough, she’d barely even scratched herself. Huh. “I guess the anger management sessions are working. A bit.”

 

"I'm glad." Lapis nodded. "Do you wanna stay in here and chill out? I was thinking of watching something after finishing the tank."

 

“Y...yeah, sure.” Jasper was still treading carefully, not quite trusting the peace. “Are you... going to punish me?” she asked softly.

 

"Gonna try not to. Call me out if I do. You know I think it's normal sometimes."

 

“I’ll try,” Jasper said. The tension seeped out of her body. “...thank you.”

 

Lapis watched her before her shoulders slumped.

"I traumatised you that much, huh?"

 

Jasper clenched her jaw. “I... guess I’ve just come to expect certain behaviour from you,” she said.

 

"Oh." Lapis said, growing numb. "Is that so? I guess I knew that."

 

Jasper read her expression.

“No, no,” she said, “it’s a good thing! You... know as well as I do that before we met Peri you would’ve made me suffer for this. And now... you’re not. And that’s good, right?”

 

"I guess." Lapis turned away. "It's just a little hard to watch the way you behave and... Realise that I'm responsible."

 

Jasper hesitated, then reached out for Lapis.

"It doesn't matter," she said. "We're getting better, that's what matters."

 

"How can you say that when so much is just... irreparable?"

 

"It doesn't matter. I still love you. It doesn't matter, please, just... stay with me for a little while?"

 

Lapis turned to face her. "Alright. I'm here. I love you too." She then sighed.  "Can you help me put away the cleaning stuff?"

 

"...Yeah, sure." Jasper hesitated, then gently touched Lapis's cheek. "We've been through so much together, Lapis. We can get through this as well."

 

"Do you really want to get through it with me, though? After everything I've done to you, on purpose?"

 

"You had your reasons. I haven't always been good to you either. And honestly, there's no one I would want with me more than you." A small smile. "Maybe Peri, but not without you. Ideally both of you."

 

"That's... you shouldn't just excuse it. I'm glad you're so forgiving but I just... feel like such an asshole."

 

Jasper shrugged. "You seem to have forgotten all the times I've hurt you. Worse than you ever hurt me, in some cases. I can't really hold you accountable for the things you did with that in mind."

 

"Then why... why are we still together?" Her tone shook with the dreariest humour.

 

"Do you... not want to be?"

 

"I do. I think. I just... I'm scared of a life without you. And I love you. But more so the former and I don't... I don't know if that's a good reason to be so attached to someone."

 

Jasper sighed.

"Let's go and tidy up," she said. "I'm not really in the mood to rethink our entire relationship. I want you with me no matter what, and... I don't think that's going to change."

 

"Alright." Lapis' eyes were dark, her mouth closed into a fine line. She followed Jasper, with silent steps through the apartment before whispering, "I love you. Please don't leave."

 

Jasper heard.

"I won't," she said. "I love you."

 

"How can a person just become better?" Lapis asked, distant, putting away the sponge and cleaning solutions into a cupboard. "Do you think there's people in the world who don't feel compelled to just be horrible?"

 

"I don't know. I'd rather not speculate." Jasper took a cloth and started wiping up all the dust that had been dragged out from behind the oven in their attempt to find Malachite. "But my therapist says that even bad thoughts are nothing more than thoughts, and you get better by finding ways of acting kindly towards others. Or something along those lines."

 

"Ah. I see. I get the same feedback. It just constantly feels like... I'm never going to change, though. Like... this is all there is."

 

"Well, if that's the case I'll just love you nonetheless. And try and help you get better. But only if you'll do the same for me." Jasper smiled at Lapis from across the room.

 

 


	84. Act VI - Chapter IV: Acquisition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Last week, Ronnie made a beautiful animatic for an anime-style opening for Educating the Victim. Have a look [here ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQEh5mlNKyI)!! 
> 
> Please check out our [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/ronyx) as well!!

 

The morning sun crept through the blinds as Marigold prepared her morning coffee. Tomorrow she'd be back at school. Back with Aurora. Back to having to deal with the monotony of normalcy. Her eyes crept to the will she'd now moved to her home, away from prying eyes - though it now resided a little too open for liking on her counter from procrastination of finding a new safe place.

She brewed her espresso, attempting to think of ways to find herself in some form of a productive state. Usually she'd be at Church by this hour. She frowned at her calendar. Still needed to fix that situation.

It was only then that her postbox clanked. She frowned. There was no post on Sundays. Her brows furrowed. Her door had a very clear label about rejecting spam mail and adverts. She gathered herself to her feet, still in her nightgown. Perhaps she could still catch up and have a word with this advertiser.

However, as she came closer to the room, she didn't spy any leaflets. A letter. Marigold frowned as she bent down to pick it up - was it meant to be signed for? She immediately tore it open.

 

 

_Dear Mrs. Diamond. This is a letter to inform you about the new acquisition of Diment wineries._

Marigold's heart stopped. A letter from Claire's winery. Her finger slid over the paper. It felt thick. Expensive. She read on.

_Our new investor has brought forward news of renovating the area. We wish to make contact to settle the affairs around your financial involvement. Please call the number below._

Marigold placed the letter down, and then read it again. No. This... this seemed off. Wrong. She'd read Claire's will back to back, what she'd been left with had supported her young adult years.

She walked back to the kitchen. "Claire specifically never wanted to sell it," she muttered. Too much history. Too much legacy. It just... it couldn't be taken by anyone. "Who's even buying this?"

She glanced at the will. And then at the letter. Azure had also been given a fraction of the estate.

She immediately picked up her phone. Maybe Azure would know.

 

Azure picked up on the second ring. “Marigold,” she said without preamble. “I think I know why you’re calling.”

On the desk in front of her lay a letter.

 

"Did... you get it, too?" Marigold asked, her whole being tightening at Azure's words. Her own voice sounded far less composed in comparison. "The... thing about the winery?"

 

"Yes. I assume it's why you're calling. Do you have any idea who's behind it?"

 

"...Not a clue. Either someone very rich or someone who's got ties to Claire's personal family. Maybe the local government... No, they wouldn't just contact us like this if it was that. Either way, this is utterly against what Claire wanted."

 

“Ah.”

Azure sighed, leaned back. “I doubt it’s the government, or anything official. This is someone with a vendetta, Marigold. You knew Claire better than any of us. Is there anyone in her family who would want to ruin the estate, for whatever reason?”

 

"Vendetta - Azure, don't be silly." Marigold sighed. "There's probably no conspiracy here. Some rich fogey just didn't read her will and put a price on the estate."

 

“Well then, you have her will, why aren’t you doing anything about it?” Azure said, an edge to her voice. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you. This feels foul, there’s more to it than just a clerical error, I can feel it.”

 

"I'm trying to find out who it could be. I mean... a vendetta? It just seems melodramatic. Everyone loved Claire. I doubt someone would directly do this to her memory. Besides; we don't even know what's yet to happen to it. I don't even know which vineyard they're targeting or what they plan to do with it. Could just be a wine company looking to revitalise a small yard."

 

“Well, if that’s what you think. But yet here you are, calling me instead of the company. Why is that? If you really think there’s nothing going on?”

 

Marigold tensed. Azure was right.

She hated it when Azure was right.

"Fine. I'll call them." She promptly hung up, leafing for the number on her letter.

 

When she called, the phone was answered a lot quicker than you would expect.

“Diment wineries, how can I help?” a voice said.

 

"Hello, this is Marigold Diamond. I'm a stakeholder with the wineyard in France. The Diment estate?" Marigold caught her tone on edge. "I received a letter about the acquisition and wanted to find out more."

 

“Oh, yes, well. We’ve had a very lucrative offer, and, as a stakeholder, you’d naturally benefit from the profits as well. You own, what, thirty per cent? So that’s the amount of money you’d receive from us as well.”

 

Marigold paused. "I'm sure I was meant to at least be consulted on whether or not the estate was sold off. I want to find out more about the acquisition than the benefits. Can you tell me who made the offer?"

 

“Sorry, ma’am, but the offer was anonymous. I’ll put in a good word for you, if you want, to get you thirty-five?”

 

"Excuse me?"

Was... was that a bribe?

"Is there no information at all you can give me about who was involved? Not even who agreed to the acquisition from Diment wineries?"

 

 

“I can tell you that it was agreed on by all the relevant people that the amount of money offered is worth it,” the voice said. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

 

"Yes. Tell me who the relevant people are, please." Marigold struggled to keep her tone neutral. "Can you at least tell me which winery was acquired?"

 

“That would be the Diment main estate, in France. Near Bordeaux. And it was agreed by the family who owns it, as well as the people who run it. Thirty-five, you said, yeah?”

 

Her questions were being avoided. Marigold's eyes narrowed. "I'm one of the family. Why was I not involved?"

 

“Our records do not show that you have any connection to the family at all,” the voice said coolly. “So that should clear up all queries you may have.”

 

Marigold felt her stomach turn. She needed to look at the will again. No. Claire had specified that she wanted the estate to not be sold.

"Thank you for your time." She finally nodded. "You'll be hearing from me."

 

A few minutes later, Azure’s phone rang again. Azure watched it for a long moment, hesitating.

She had a bad feeling.

Eventually, she picked it up, frowning. “Marigold.”

 

Marigold’s voice seemed strained on the line. “Listen, I... have no idea what is happening but it certainly seems a little suspicious. It’s like... they want no one to look into it at all; the person I called shot my questions down at every opportunity.”

 

“That is very odd. Do you know which estate it is?”

 

"Yes." Marigold's voice went quiet. "The big one. The one where she's buried."

 

Azure frowned, her throat tightening. “So it must be someone with a vendetta,” she said. “Marigold, what do you want to do about this? You were closer to her than anyone, so it’s your call.”

 

Marigold fell silent on her side of the line. "Azure... You wouldn't have anyone in your infinite wealth to employ and take a look at what's happening for us?"

 

Azure considered this. “Yes, it wouldn’t be too hard to hire someone,” she said, “but it would have to be someone I can trust. I’ll have a look, there’s a few people working for me who could look into it. Maybe even go there and find out what’s going on. I’ll ask Blue as well.”

 

Marigold sighed. "I don't need this at all. Hopefully it'll get sorted out soon. I don't like this. I don't like this at all."

 

 

 


	85. Act VI - Chapter V: Awkward

It was Sunday, but this couldn’t wait. Azure had barely put down her phone when she was reaching for her laptop and composing an email to one of her most versatile employees.

_Marina,_

_I need you to meet me as soon as possible tomorrow morning as a matter of utmost priority and discretion. Don’t worry about anything else._

_Azure_

Marina would understand, and she would be there.

 

At eight am sharp, even before the doors to Blue Diamond Games HQ even opened, Marina MacLeod stood at the staff entrance. She opened a blackberry and sent Azure a notification of her arrival as she paced up to the elevator.

 

Azure was expecting her. She didn’t make it to HQ very often these days, preferring to work from home, but this was important enough for her to get up early.

She’d made coffee for Marina and herself, and as soon as Marina stepped into the office, Azure locked the door behind her.

“Sit,” she said. “You may have inferred from my email that this is off the books. It isn’t even strictly company business.”

 

"Oh, an interesting mission, then." Marina scratched at her nails and took a small, delicate sip. "Do tell."

 

 

“It’s also personal,” Azure said, frowning at the papers she had in front of her, “and confidential. I’m sending Hunter and Ashleigh with you just in case there’s trouble, though for now it’s just reconnaissance.”

 

 

"Oh, I see." Marina's brows shot up for a split second. "I take it that you've got some emotional stakes in this."

 

“You could say that. It’s about an old friend’s wine estate. She passed away long ago and never wanted it to be sold, but now someone’s there trying to take it.”

 

"Oh? And what would you like me to do?"

 

“Find out who’s behind it, and why,” Azure said. “I have a bad feeling about this, and I really hope I’m wrong.”

 

"Oh, I see. And whereabouts is this yard?" Marina finished the cup and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

 

“France, near Bordeaux. I’ve put together a file for you, but there isn’t much in it yet.” Azure handed over the papers: The letter from the Diment estate, and a copy of Claire’s will. “How soon can you be ready to leave? All expenses will be paid for.”

 

Marina blinked, looking at the documents. Her fingers traced a few pages and she glanced up with a mischievous smirk.

"Tomorrow morning works."

 

“Thank you, Marina. If you find the Topazes, send them here so I can brief them as well. In the mean time, make any arrangement you need.”

 

Marina was already on her Blackberry. "Got it, notifying them to see you. I take it you'll message me later to let me know the details?"

 

“You can count on it,” Azure said.

 

\--

 

Study leave had given Pearl the freedom to not attend classes. The way in which everyone else seemed to find it a positive provoked immense envy from her.

School had been an escape from home. Where criticism was monitored, and to at least an extent, she was guarded by a greater authority.

Home was a battlefield, where everything was chaos. And she only had the way she felt, her strategy and no sword.

Perhaps it was solace in a life in university dorms that gave her strength. Pearl often now found herself, eyes closed, imagining a small room of her own, alone and away from everyone. Or, perhaps with friends. Amethyst. If she survived this, was there a life where she could be an adult with Rose?

Thoughts of Rose made her smile as she paced to school. They'd scheduled a brief catchup and study session before the first biology exam on that fresh April afternoon. Trees in full boom, patches of grass and life poking out of city walls.

 

Rose came to school just before lunch, oddly looking forward to spending time with Pearl again. She’d invited the entire class for a revision session, but it didn’t look like it was going to be very popular; Rose’s experience for the past few years had been that the girls liked studying on their own terms a lot more.

So there was a chance it was just going to be just her and Pearl. Strangely enough, Rose was okay with that; she was fairly sure they could deal with it.

She got to the classroom early, unlocking it and spreading the materials over her desk.

 

Pearl knocked on the door, looking around for other pupils.  "Huh. Looks like it's just me, then."

 

“Unless someone turns up late,” Rose said, smiling at Pearl. Then, her expression grew serious. “Are you going to be okay with that?”

 

"Oh, yeah. Definetly." Pearl shot back a reassuring look. "It might be a nice time to go over some exam papers I've done. I've filled in all of the ones back to 2006."

 

“Well, you certainly didn’t slack off while I was suspended,” Rose said. “Shall we have a look, then?”

 

Pearl felt awkward at the mention of her doing. But she didn't mention it, instead opting to dive into her bag and collect a stack of papers that she slumped on the table. "Want to start from the most current one?"

 

“Sure! I should have the answers here somewhere.” Rose picked out some papers from her bag. “But let’s see what you have first.”

She hesitated for a long moment, then came towards Pearl, pulling up a chair and sitting down opposite her.

 

Pearl swallowed at the closeness but then shook it off. They were at school. Teachers did this.

"I do pretty solid on the first few easy sets of questions. The essays get me."

 

“Well, practice makes perfect. Did you time yourself doing them?”

Rose felt her heart beat. She avoided looking at Pearl too much, because that would surely make the awkwardness worse. Instead, she rifled through her papers.

 

"I stared doing that after the 2012 paper." Pearl nodded, "it makes me anxious so I procrastinated doing it for a while."

 

“It is very helpful to time yourself, it’s probably the closest you’ll get to exam conditions while studying.” Rose looked up, briefly, and smiled. “It’s been shown that you remember things better if you’ve studied them in a similar state of mind to the exam, so that little kick of anxiety might actually be a good thing.”

 

Pearl gave a nervous laugh. "If you say so. I'll try and emulate that a bit more, especially now that we're so close."

 

“Indeed.” Rose didn’t comment on Pearl’s word choice, but couldn’t help a little colour rising to her cheeks.

“Would you like me to read your practice essays?” she asked.

 

Pearl tapped her fingers on the table. She didn't feel too confident with them. "Sure!"

 

“Okay. Do you have any exercises you want to do while you wait for my feedback?”

 

"I'm sure there's probably something in the textbook." Pearl reached out for it.

 

Rose smiled. “Well, let me know if you want anything else – I’ve written a few practice questions that you could answer.” She took Pearl’s essays and decided to go back to the teacher’s desk, taking out a red pen and starting to read the first essay.

 

Pearl nodded and tried to read, but found herself distracted as she couldn't help but glance up at Rose every thirty seconds.

 

For a few minutes, no sound could be heard except for the occasional scratch of Rose’s pen on the paper.

Then, Rose looked up. Noticed Pearl’s eyes on her.

She shot her a small smile. Forced herself to look away. Tried to read the essay again, but found that her thoughts were elsewhere.

 

Pearl managed to rush through an exercise or two to at least give the illusion she wasn't staring. She wondered if Rose really was still bitter about her actions.

She had all right to be. She'd nearly lost her job.

Pearl swallowed. What if she was pretending to be nice? What if she really hated her?

 

Rose, meanwhile, had finished marking one of Pearl’s essays. She put it aside and let her gaze wander before starting the next one.

Her eyes lingered on Pearl, her expression... wistful?

Rose found that she didn’t quite want to look away.

 

Pearl broke eye contact this time, blushing into her textbook. She scribbled down another answer, eyes flicking over textbook content to double check.

 

Abruptly, Rose got up.

“I’ve finished with this one,” she said, “would you like me to go over it with you, or do you want some more time with your exercises?”

 

"I'd like to look through it." Pearl stammered, putting her pen down.

 

“Okay.” Rose sat down with Pearl again, putting the essay on the table. “Overall it’s a good essay, you demonstrate a clear awareness for the core principles you need to know at this stage.” She looked at Pearl. “But if I was grading this like an exam paper, you’d still lose quite a few important marks. And that’s because you left out a few very important basic facts, maybe because you thought they were obvious enough that you didn’t need to state them.”

 

"Yeah, that's why I didn't state them." Pearl sighed, downcast. She made a note of it in her planner.

 

“It’s actually something that a lot of very advanced students struggle with. The good thing is that you can try to train yourself to basically state the obvious in an exam paper. Especially now that you know about it.” Rose smiled. “But it’s a good essay. I really wish the marking criteria weren’t so harsh – because it’s clear from this paper that you know your stuff, which really is the thing we should be trying to assess.”

 

Pearl's cheeks grew even more red at the praise. "Oh, I'm glad you think so!"

 

“Definitely.” Rose looked at Pearl warmly. Noticed Pearl’s red cheeks. _She’s so cute when she’s blushing._

She shoved that thought aside. She was Pearl’s _teacher_.

“How far did you get with your questions?”

 

"Just a couple. I, uh, couldn't really focus."

 

“O-oh.” Rose’s heart beat a little faster.

She tried to laugh it off. “I suppose I’m not the only one getting an odd sense of deja vu at this, then.”

 

It seemed to relieve a little tension. Pearl also allowed herself to laugh. "Yeah. I'm sorry. You would've thought it would be less awkward."

 

“...yeah.” Rose gave a half-smile. “But we can handle this, right?”

 

"I'm sure we can. Right." Pearl folded her arms, determined. "Is there anything else or should I do more exercises?"

 

“I... think it’s fine otherwise, and you did give me a bunch of essays, so I think I’ll get back to marking those,” Rose said, getting up again. “Let me know if you need any help.”

 

"Will do." And the awkwardness seeped back into the room, making it hard to breathe. Pearl chewed on the end on her biro as she flicked to a different page and began to work again.

 

Rose didn’t allow herself to look up, and definitely not at Pearl. She frowned in concentration, reading Pearl’s essay. When she was done with one of them, she put it to the side, and instead of going over it with Pearl, went straight on to the next one.

 

Pearl noticed, and went back to writing, working a little faster and more thoroughly this time. She managed three pages of work by the time Rose was finished.

 

The second essay was done, and Rose couldn’t help herself anymore.

She put the essays aside and leaned back, stretching a little and looking at Pearl, who was studiously working.

“How are you getting on?” she asked.

 

"A bit better, I think. Wanna talk? About the essay, I mean."

 

“Sure.” Rose’s heart gave a weird lurch. “Though we can talk about other things too, if you feel we need to.”

She took the essays over to Pearl’s desk and sat down.

 

Pearl watched her and chose to ignore the latter comment, for now. Her eyes then flickered to the page, reading over the red marks. "I see."

 

Rose was a little disappointed at the lack of Pearl’s reaction, but just as she was starting to say something, the door burst open.

Amethyst stood behind it. “Whaddup,” she said, “sorry I’m late, I-“

She stopped dead as she saw Pearl and Rose. Rose shot up, away from Pearl, belatedly realising that that only made everything look more suspicious than it already did.

Amethyst’s expression darkened. “Uh, I can leave, if you want.”

 

 

"Nonsense, this is... just a revision session for everyone, Amy," Pearl replied, but then looked at Rose before inching away.

 

“Well, that’s obviously why you two are the only ones here. Are you back to dating or some shit, because I don’t approve.”

 

Pearl frowned. "Or it's because it's nearly three pm during study leave and no one else wants to be here. I mean, you made it."

 

Amethyst stomped into the room and possessively took a chair next to Pearl. “That’s not an answer to my question,” she said.

“Amethyst, please-“ Rose said.

“Don’t call me that. Only Pearl gets to call me Amethyst.”

 

"We're not. Rose is my teacher. We've worked things out." Pearl finally answered, reluctant. "Did you come here to study or to chew us out?"

 

“Well, I probably wouldn’t have come at all if I’d known I’d be walking into one of your dates,” Amy said.

She was perfectly aware she was being a dick, and yet she found herself incapable of stopping.

She slouched in her chair, pulling out some materials from her bag. “But fine, whatever, let’s do some studying. Like it’s gonna do me any good.”

 

Pearl sighed into her palms, all too suddenly not wanting to be there. "So, how was my essay?"

 

Rose was watching Amy, who was scowling at her from behind a textbook.

Was it just jealousy, or did Amy actually have a good reason to hate her? She probably wasn’t going to find out.

She stepped towards Pearl again, hesitant. Amy had taken her chair, so Rose remained standing. “It was good,” she said, “There were some grammatical errors, and the same criticism applies that I gave you before, but if you work on those things, you should get high grades in the exam.”

 

"Oh, good to hear." She smiled. "If Amy is here and you have the energy to, I wouldn't mind going through a few PowerPoints as a refresher?"

 

“If you have to,” Amy chimed in, putting down her textbook. “Don’t tell me you’ve actually been doing _work_ here, P. I mean, I’m just here cus I’m starting to panic over exams, but you’ve done tons of studying.”

“Pearl has actually been working very hard since getting here,” Rose said gently. “I can give you some pointers, too, Amy. And I’d be happy to run through some of my presentations with you.”

 

"Sounds good." Pearl blushed again but then locked eyes with Amy and looked away, embarrassed.

 

_And I thought it was awkward before._

Rose booted up her laptop, which had gone to sleep while she’d been helping Pearl revise. It took its time, and Rose avoided eye contact with Amethyst while she waited.

“Do you know what sort of questions they’ll ask in the exam?” Amethyst asked.

Rose looked up. “No, I don’t,” she said, “but in the past few years there’s always been a question on genetics, so it’s good to know a lot about that.”

Her laptop had finally booted. Rose opened up one of her presentations. “Alright,” she said.

 

Pearl, yet again, found herself all too distracted. This time, however, her stomach felt heavy with anxiety. Her eyes flitted from Amethyst to Rose until she finally felt she'd had enough.  "I'm going to pop to the toilet."

 

Rose looked up, frowned. “Okay,” she said.

She then looked at Amethyst. “Is there anything in particular you’d like me to go over, Amy?” she asked.

 

Amethyst swallowed. "Oh, uh..." She hadn't expected this. She didn't want alone time with Rose. "Uh, I can do the genetics stuff I guess."

 

“Do you want my help with anything?” Rose asked. “You’re here, after all – a scheduled session with your teacher.”

 

Amy’s face burnt, insides twisting with apprehension. Truth be told, she barely had a clue on what exactly the syllabus contained. "I'm cool, I'll just... work from the book."

 

Rose watched her for a long moment.

“Why are you here, Amy?” she then asked.

 

Amethyst felt herself lurch. "...To study for the exam that's coming up?" she lied.

 

“You could’ve done that at home, or in the library,” Rose simply stated.

 

"Did you ask Pearl why she was here?"

 

“Is this about Pearl, then?” Rose said mildly.

 

"No!" Amethyst said, too loudly. "I'm just wondering why you're asking me why I'm at school...? I'm here because you sent an email to your class about the session and I don't know? I felt I'd be welcome to attend, man."

 

“You are, of course,” Rose said, “but you’re not the kind of person to turn up to these usually. I’m – not judging, just surprised. And I’m not sure what you’re expecting from this.”

 

Amethyst swallowed. "Maybe I'm changing my ways and just wanna study. The first exam is pretty soon - what, like a month away?"

 

Rose frowned.

“It’s next week,” she said. “Don’t you know when your exams are?”

 

Amethyst swallowed. "Oh." She looked around flustered. "Must've read it wrong. Oh no."

 

“You have a schedule of the exams, right? ...wait, you live with Aurora. She probably knows better than you,” Rose said with a soft sigh. “Anyway. Is there anything you want me to help you with?”

 

 _Yeah, you could stop talking to Pearl forever._ "Weren't we gonna go through PowerPoint stuff?"

 

“Well, yes. But since it’s just you at the moment, why don’t we focus on some of your specific problem areas?”

 

 _You mean all of it?_ "Sure. I guess I'll... Do some questions and then you can take a look?" Her voice cracked.

 

“Your coursework hasn’t been too great this past year,” Rose said. “What are the areas you feel confident about?”

 

Amethyst swallowed. "I liked the courtship behaviour stuff, I guess. It was interesting."

 

“Could you write an essay on it?”

 

"Right now?"

 

“I mean, theoretically.” Rose smiled. “How well do you think you’d do if there was a question on that in the exam?”

 

Amethyst shrugged, getting frustrated with the barrage of questions. "Okay, I guess? Who knows if it'll come up at all, though."

 

“Well, that’s why you need to be prepared,” Rose said. She took a few example questions off her desk. “Have a look at these.”

 

Amethyst sighed and got up to take a look. Her lip curled a she read them. "Looks fun."

 

“Think you can do them?”

 

Amy's gaze fell to the ground. "I'll give it a shot."

 

“I can help you with them, if you’d like,” Rose offered. “Talk you through the different parts of the questions and how to answer them best.”

 

Surprisingly, Amethyst agreed. "Alright. We can do that."

 

“Alright.” Rose came over and pulled up a chair, like she had done with Pearl before. “Mind if I sit here?” she asked.

 

Amy watched her, an odd suspicion on her face. "Okay."

 

Rose caught it. “Something wrong?”

 

"Nah." Amethyst looked away, avoiding eye contact. "Let's just get on with it."

 

The door opened. "Back!" Pearl exclaimed before looking at the two. "If you're busy, I can crack on with a few more textbook bits?"

 

“Sure, Pearl,” Rose said, smiling at her. “I’m helping Ameth- Amy with some questions.”

 

Pearl nodded and sat back at her chair. Amy frowned, this wasn't what she wanted to do at all, but perhaps it was what she deserved.

She looked at Rose for a minute. She was only there to help. Amethyst scratched the back of her head as she attempted to sound less aloof. "I tend to suck at just figuring out what I wanna say, especially for the shorter questions. It's, uh, probably because I don't know enough."

 

Rose beamed at her. “Well, knowing where you have gaps in your knowledge is the first step to filling those gaps!” she said. “And we have about a week to get you up to speed. I’ve met people who crammed for their finals in less time than that and got decent grades. Here, let’s start with this question.”

 

\--

 

Pearl and Amethyst had left (together), and Rose was tidying up. She didn’t really expect to run into anyone as she took her bag and prepared to head home.

However, as she went past the Principal’s office, she heard Marigold’s voice. She couldn’t help but listen, her step slowing down minutely.

“...yes, okay. No leads yet?” It sounded like she was on the phone. A sigh. “You know, I feel like if Roxy was here –“

An icy shiver went down Rose’s spine. She’d managed to forget that Marigold and Roxy had known each other. But of course.

“No, of course not, I haven’t heard from her in years,” Marigold said.

Rose blushed, realising she was probably listening in to a private conversation. Regardless of how she felt about Marigold or Roxy... one didn’t just do that.

She hurried along, trying to put the thought out of her mind.

 

 

 


	86. Act VI - Chapter VI: Trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!! This chapter is quite short, but there's a few exciting chapters coming up, so hopefully that will make up for it!!
> 
> And we have another anniversary bomb planned! Five chapters in five days! This will launch on June 16th, so keep that date in your diaries!  
> (Yes, we know it's not actually the anniversary, which is in late May, but it's close enough)
> 
> More details to come! If you want a sneak peek, we will be uploading content on our [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/ronyx) very soon. Be sure to subscribe if you want to know more! (Being a patron will also give you early access to new chapters and illustrations for as little as $2 a month, so we highly recommend it!)
> 
> No warnings for this chapter. Enjoy!

Marina was at the airport, three hours early. She'd exchanged some pounds into euros, and was now pouring sugar into a latte by the departures.

Being this early had its disadvantages.

 

 

Asleigh and Hunter Topaz lagged behind a little bit.

“Marina, wait up,” Hunter called, tugging her wife along, “We’re going into that Cafe there before security, we have loads of time.”

 

"You should know by now that I need three cups of coffee before twelve," Marina huffed, folding the sugar packet and disposing it into the bin. "I don't want to miss our flight."

 

Ashleigh laughed. “We’re three hours early,” she said. “We’re not going to miss our flight.”

She leaned in to kiss her wife on the cheek. “Well, Marina. Would you like to join us on our date?”

 

Marina rolled her eyes, pursing her lips. "I guess, since I'm already here. I like the cafe Nero here."

 

Ashleigh tilted her head. “Well, let’s find a table then.”

Hunter smiled at her. “I’ll order! The usual for you, love?”

Ashleigh blew her a kiss. “You know me so well.”

“What would you like, Marina?” Hunter asked.

 

"Crisps and mocha. Do you want money?"

 

“Absolutely.” Hunter grinned at Marina.

 

Marina dug into her pocket and pulled out a fat roll of twenties. "There. Salt and vinegar, all else is heathen."

 

“Thank you!” Hunter went towards the counter to order while Ashleigh settled in, arranging their luggage and keeping the seat next to her for Hunter.

“So, Marina,” she said, “You still haven’t told us anything about this mission. We’re at the airport now and can’t really bail out easily anymore, so...?”

 

"Should be a breeze. We're just checking out and snooping on an old wine farm to see whether there's anything fishy happening. There's some kind of unlawful takeover happening and I've got a couple of people here I'm looking to talk to." Marina pulled up her shoulder bag. "Here's a few of them."

 

 

Ashleigh frowned at the papers. “If it’s an easy mission, why did Azure want us to come with you?”

 

"Beats me. It all looks like corporate people... and some woman, but she's not been seen for years, so I doubt she's going to matter."

 

“Oh, who’s that?”

 

"Roxy Dayman. We don't even have a picture on file." Marina pulled the corresponding document. It was short, just a few paragraphs of text. "I think she might be dead from the account, but Azure threw it in the pile."

 

“Well, that certainly doesn’t sound like it’s going to be important later.” Ashleigh looked up, just as Hunter returned with their orders.

“Here’s your caramel latte with a hazelnut shot and soy milk,” she said, sliding Ashleigh’s drink to her. “And yours, Marina.”

She sat down next to Ashleigh. “What’d I miss?”

 

"We were just talking about the job." Marina looked over her shoulder. "Did you two buffoons really not even think to look at the mission before you left home?"

 

“We had a glance. But we’re just the muscle. We do as you tell us.” Hunter shrugged. “But it’s nice to know what we’re doing anyway.”

 

Marina withdrew the documents. "I'll let you both study up on the flight. Right - we've been allocated a couple of weeks and I figure if we work quick, we can have it done in a couple of days and afford a couple to explore." She gave the two a smirk. "Anything you want to check out?"

 

“Hmm.” Ashleigh reached over the table to snatch the documents away from Marina. “Where’s this place we’re going? I want to see what’s in the area.”

 

"The flight goes to Bordeaux," Marina looked at her phone, "But we need to take two trains after we get there. Azure booked us an airbnb in some tiny village."

 

“That sounds fun! Bordeaux sounds lovely,” Ashleigh said.

“We could get a romantic evening in,” Hunter said, winking at her. “If we get any time off,” she added, grinning at Marina.

 

"Ew, you two can do what you want." Marina stuck out her tongue. She searched for the area on her phone. "I wouldn't mind checking out some restaurants. Little French villages always have some hidden gems."

 

“Don’t say ew, that’s homophobic,” Ashleigh said, straight-faced. “Should we hire a car, maybe? Hunter can drive.”

 

Marina rolled her eyes but nodded. "Sure. It's in the budget. Feel free to organise that."

 

“Sure!” Hunter took out her phone. After a few minutes of searching, she exclaimed, “Hey, look, there’s this really cute castle! I want to visit it! How long do you think we can drag out this mission?” She showed it to Ashleigh.

 

"Don't get too crazy." Marina eyed them up and turned her nose before returning to her browsing.

 

“You could join us. I know you like castles,” Hunter said. “You could interpret for us, you know how the French are.”

 

"Tsch, fine." But Marina looked amused by the prospect. "I guess I wouldn't mind that."

 

Ashleigh finished her coffee, leant back and yawned while stretching. “Well, will you look at the time. We... still have more than two hours. Though at least the checkin should be open soon. Marina, why did you drag us here so early? We could have slept for another hour.”

 

"You know me. I like to be prepared."

 

“We still would’ve been plenty prepared if we’d gotten here an hour and a half early,” Hunter said. “I’m so tired.”

 

"Drink your coffee and deal with it."

 

Hunter pulled a face. “I’m gonna nap.” She took out her hearing aid and snuggled up to Ashleigh.

 

"If we get through security soon, we can look through duty free for a while. I like to get a few bottles and chocolate while I'm there," Marina said to Ashleigh, finishing her drink.

 

Ashleigh patted Hunter’s head. “Really, you want to get alcohol here, when we’re going to Bordeaux?” she said, amused. “Aren’t we literally going to a vineyard?”

 

"Spirits! I want spirits!"

 

“Really, are we that unbearable?”

Hunter took that moment to snuggle closer, and Ashleigh turned and kissed the top of her head, before turning back to Marina.

 

Marina looked away. "Indeed you are."

 

\--

 

About an hour later, they were finally ready to go through security. Ashleigh and Hunter shared a small suitcase as hand luggage, and were holding hands as they made their way to the queues.

“Looks like it’s not too bad,” Ashleigh said, “we should be through pretty quickly.”

 

"You lot didn't bring anything to slow us down, did you?" Marina tapped her foot impatiently, her coat already neatly folded.

 

“Course not,” Hunter said. “Did you?”

 

"What do you think I am? Some kind of amateur?"

 

“Well, you never know.” Hunter grinned. They’d already reached the belts, and Ashleigh took out a tray.

 

Marina stood and waited, watching the people go in front of her and scoffing at an elderly man who'd forgotten to remove his wristwatch. "Honestly. There's signs everywhere."

 

“Not everyone flies twice a month, Marina,” Ashleigh said. “And some of these are just dumb. I can’t believe you still can’t take liquids.”

“And I have to take off my shoes,” Hunter said, plonking her heavy boots into a tray. “Alright, ready to go.”

 

"They're holding everyone up." Marina fiddled with her pockets. "I'm sure there's people in the queue who need to get on sooner rather than later."

 

“What, like us?” Ashleigh said, grinning. “We only have an hour and a half to get on our plane!”

Hunter stepped forward, through the body scanner. It beeped loudly. The security assistant frowned at her. “Step over here for a minute.”

 

"Oh come ON!" Marina exhaled.

 

“Oh.” Hunter blushed. “My hearing aid, I always forget.”

“Take it out, please, and send it through in a tray,” the security assistant said, motioning her over to the belt.

Hunter nodded, following the instructions, then looking up to grin awkwardly at Ashley.

“Now if you’ll step through the scanner again,” the security assistant said.

Hunter didn’t move.

“Um, ma’am?”

Ashleigh nudged Hunter.

“What? Oh. Sorry, can’t hear ya.”

 

Marina gave an annoyed grunt as her foot began to tap repeatedly on the ground. Her impatience growing by the second.

 

Hunter finally went through the scanner. Ashleigh followed her. Which only left Marina.

 

Finally. Marina clenched her fists and stomped to the gate. "Look at how quickly you can get through if you just prepare -"

It was then that she passed through the gate itself, at which moment the alarm began to wail.

 

“Please step in here,” the security assistant said. “Stretch out your arms. ...Ah, something in your pocket?”

 

Marina groaned upon the realisation that she'd left her second phone in her back pocket.

She audibly swore when she saw the expression on Ashleigh's face.

 

“Ah. You’ll have to go back and go through the scanner again,” said the security assistant, her voice bored.

“Man,” Ashleigh said loudly, “always these silly people holding up the line. Surely there are people here who need to get to their flights quickly.” She grinned at Marina.

 

 

Marina complied, but stuck out her middle finger at Ashleigh - discreetly enough so that only she could see.

This was going to be a long trip.

 

 

 


	87. Act VI - Chapter VII: Community

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!!
> 
> Don't forget that we'll have our anniversary bomb starting on June 16th. We will announce this on our [tumblr](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/) this week properly as well. We have some promo art planned and it will be very exciting! We will also be putting up chapters from the bomb on our [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/ronyx) starting tomorrow, so if you're curious, go support us from $2 a month!
> 
> No warnings for this chapter. Enjoy!

 

One Sunday had passed, and then another, and Marigold Diamond still hadn’t found the guts to go to a new church.

It was starting to bother her to the point that even Aurora had noticed, and sternly told her to “do something about it, I’ll even come with you, but you have to tell me where to go”.

So, on Wednesday morning, Marigold sent Aurora to fetch Taisha Bismuth to come to her office. There was probably a more elegant and less threatening way to do this, but Marigold was struggling to come up with a better option.

 

Taisha knocked on her office for about fifteen minutes later, and opened it with a look of apprehension that then morphed into discomfort.  "Any particular reason you got me here, or..."

 

“Please come in and close the door, Taisha,” Marigold said evenly. “And please be assured that you did nothing wrong. In fact, this is a rather... personal matter that I would like your opinion on.”

 

Taisha’s scowl faded, but her voice was still drenched in apprehension. "Oh? How can I help you?" She came closer to Marigold's desk.

 

“Do you remember the brief chat we had when I visited your stall at... the Pride festivities before the holidays?” Marigold asked. In truth, she barely remembered it herself; her memory was foggy from the drug she’d taken that day, but she had vague recollections of talking to Bismuth, her mentioning St Michael’s, and she still had the pamphlet she took.

 

"Oh yeah," Taisha paused, looking at the wall, frowning over the painted over lettering, still somewhat visible under the rushed paint. "You still looking for a church?"

 

“I am, in fact.” Marigold looked away. “Actually, I should... probably make a confession. I’ve figured out quite recently that I myself am... attracted to women. It’s caused me a great deal of distress, especially since my old church...”

She fell silent. Taisha didn’t need to know all of that. “You get the picture,” she then continued. “You said that your church, St Michael’s, was friendly to people like me?”

 

Taisha's face changed expressions a few times as Marigold spoke before settling on a far gentler look. "Oh, sure. I hope your old place didn't give you too much trouble over it. St Michael's would totally take you in, though."

Her hands rummaged through several pockets (it appeared every article of her clothing had at least one). "Uh, I can give you the address, hold on..." She then paused. "Oh, wait! There's a thing going on this Saturday. We're organising a free haircuts session. I'm gonna be there for a while if you wanna pop by and meet a few of the people before coming on Sunday?"

 

“That... actually sounds lovely,” Marigold said. “I’ve been meaning to get a haircut for a while. And then there will be a service Sunday morning, I assume?”

 

"You've got it." Taisha gave the smallest wink. Somehow, the tension in the room had decreased. "You want me to text you the location?"

 

“Yeah, sure. Should I give you my number?”

 

"You can do!" Taisha pulled her own from her bra.

 

Marigold nodded, trying not to show her mild discomfort while dictating her number. “So I will see you on Saturday, then?” she asked after she was done. “What time will you be there?”

 

"Noon. Want to meet there?" Taisha asked, putting her phone back.

 

“Yeah, sure,” Marigold said, trying for a small smile.

 

"Anything else you want?" Taisha quirked a brow.

 

Marigold swallowed heavily.

“Not anything in particular,” she said. “But... as you can probably imagine that this has been quite a difficult time for me. I just... feel it’s necessary for me to apologise to everyone I can for the way I behaved previously. My own suppressed sexuality may explain it... but it doesn’t excuse it. I’m sorry.”

 

Taisha gave a small whistle at this and then chuckled. "We'll all believe it when you see it. But I'm enjoying this development from you."

 

Marigold inclined her head. “I have a lot to learn,” she said. “I appreciate your help in this matter very much.”

 

"Sure thing. I should head back if that's everything?"

 

“Yes, of course. Sorry to keep you. I’ll see you on Saturday.”

 

\--

 

The church was further away than Marigold’s old church. She was early, spending a few minutes sitting in her car after she’d parked, trying not to freak out.

It was going to be okay, wasn’t it? Taisha said the people here were welcoming. Marigold had trusted that, telling Aurora she was going to go on her own.

She regretted it now. Having Aurora here would probably help her.

_I could ask her to come with me to the Eucharist tomorrow. But I’ll see how this goes first._

She eventually gritted her teeth and got out of the car, stepping into the church.

There were a few other people around. Sunlight came flooding in through the high-up windows. Marigold didn’t immediately see Taisha, so just kind of anxiously hovered by the entrance.

 

Taisha came into view a few minutes later, out of breath. "Sorry! Got wrapped up in a really good makeup tutorial. How is it going?"

 

“I only just arrived,” Marigold said. “I... haven’t talked to anyone yet.”

 

"Oh, man. Nervous?" Taisha asked, finally catching up and taking a few steps closer to the entrance. "No one's gonna bite."

 

“I never really went to any church other than my old one,” Marigold said. “So... I don’t really know what to expect.”

 

"Oh right. Well, I forgot to inform you that the dress code to gay church is strictly rainbows and every now and then we fire confetti cannons."

 

Marigold laughed, uneasily. “You’re joking, right?”

 

"Absolutely." Taisha delicately punched her shoulder. "I assure you that you'll probably be surprised by how ordinary it all is."

 

“Once again, in my old church we’d get preached at about how homosexuality is a sin and all queers are dangerous deviants on a near weekly basis, so there isn’t exactly a bar for this church to measure up against,” Marigold said with an undertone of bitterness. “We should probably... go in.”

 

"You're saying that as if you weren't saying the exact same thing just a couple of months back." Taisha teased, walking in with Mari behind her. "You looking to get your hair done while you're here? I think they brought in a local natural hair guy this time."

 

“They did? That’s... wow. I might consider it.” Marigold frowned. “I haven’t had my hair properly done in ages. Did you say they’ll do it for free? They’ll have a donation box, right?”

 

"Yeah, me and a few of the other guys requested it. The service itself is kind of targeted at trans people who can't afford or can't get the haircuts they need to combat dysphoria, but then we ended up branching out to whoever needs it." Taisha gave a cheeky smile. "Been running every couple of months. Not bad."

 

“That’s... actually a really good idea,” Marigold said. “And also really not something I’d ever considered before. I really do have a lot to learn, don’t I?”

 

"It all begins at mindfulness and seeing others around you as real people who have the same claim to happiness you and I do. And that's why we have to help them." Taisha suddenly stopped. "Change is slow but it begins at acceptance."

 

“I’m glad there are people out there who know more than me,” Marigold said.

A middle-aged woman approached them. “Taisha, how lovely to see you!” she said. “And who is your friend?”

“I’m Marigold Diamond,” Marigold said.

 

Taisha gave her a nudge. "I'll go get us some tea. D'ya take sugar?"

 

“Two, please. No milk – unless you have plant-based substitutes,” Marigold said.

“Oh, that shouldn’t be a problem,” the stranger said, “we have soy and rice milk.” She turned to Marigold. “I’m Barb,” she said, “it’s lovely to meet you. What brings you here today? Did Taisha drag you along? She loves bringing people, she’s ever so enthusiastic about this project. A real asset to the community.”

 

"I wanted to join a more... tolerant and open minded space, I suppose." Marigold hesitantly replied. No matter how many times she'd rehearsed those words in her head, her mouth felt them pass clumsily. "But I, um, like all this a lot already." She gestured at the chairs set up for hair dressing.

 

“You’ve certainly made the right choice. Would you like to sit? We’re nearly ready to start with the hair cuts, and it doesn’t look like there’s that many people here yet.” Barb pulled out a chair for Marigold.

 

"Only if I'm not going to take up time from someone who needs it more than me." Marigold gave a nervous laugh as she took off her jacket, hanging it behind the chair and sat down.

 

“Oh, trust me, you need one,” Taisha said, returning with tea. “Been watching your hair get more messed up for years. How long has it been since anyone who wasn’t white cut it?” She handed Marigold her mug.

 

 

"I trim it myself after a... friend stopped doing it for me. It's a bit difficult, so I tend to avoid doing more than returning it to its shape but... I'm not an artist." Marigold replied, giving her a raised brow as she sipped. "Oh, this is nice.  What milk did you use?"

 

“Rice milk. Do you like it?”

Barb had gone off to greet some more people, and Taisha looked up. “Oh, he’s here! Just a second!” And she left Marigold as well to go over to a young man that had just come in.

 

Marigold watched them, taking another sip as she suddenly found a quiet ache still present in her.

Lonliness. It crept up on her at the oddest times.

She sighed, perhaps this would be enjoyable. Perhaps it could even be good.

 

Taisha returned shortly afterwards with the young man.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” she said, “this is Kevin, he’s our Black hair professional for today.”

“Good morning, ma’am,” Kevin said, “I will get myself some coffee and then we’ll be ready to go.”

 

Marigold tried her best to ease her own anxiety enough to flash a nervous smile. "Sure, I don't even know what I really want yet."

 

“Oh, a creative challenge!” Kevin smirked. “That’s no problem at all. I’ll give you something you’ll be _obsessed_ with.”

 

Marigold couldn't help but feel her skin crawl at his tone, and tried to meet Taisha's eyes for assurance.

 

Taisha grinned back. “Don’t mind him, he gets a bit cocky sometimes, but his work is impeccable.”

Kevin winked at Taisha, and then studied Marigold’s hair. “I’m thinking shortish sides, with some ‘fro on the top,” he said, “how does that sound?”

 

Marigold snorted a little. "Isn't it a little young for me?"

 

“Oh, honey, with the right attitude you can make anything look good. ‘sides, Black don’t crack. You’re not even that old. And if you are, you don’t look it.” Kevin grinned at her.

 

Marigold gave him a look before sighing. "I'll leave myself in your... capable hands." She glanced at Taisha again, shoving away the anxiety that this was perhaps some form of cruel prank.

 

“So how are you enjoying your first experience with St Michael’s?” Taisha asked, pulling up a chair as Kevin started to get ready for cutting Marigold’s hair.

 

"Hah, it's not nearly as frightening as I anticipated." Marigold looked down. "I think I'm convinced to give it a shot."

 

“That’s good to hear! Is it okay for me to leave you to it, then, or do you want me to stick around?”

 

"Feel free to go ahead if you're busy," Marigold replied, looking at herself in the mirror. "Goodness... how short are we thinking?"

 

“Don’t worry about it, darling, you’ll look fantastic,” Kevin assured her.

Taisha smiled. “I have been meaning to go catch up with Barb, so I will be back later for the great reveal.” She wandered off towards Barb.

 

Barb had gathered the array of used tea mugs and was carrying a tray into the kitchen area. She caught Taisha heading her way.  "Hey, hon, mind helping me with a few of these?"

 

“Oh, absolutely.” Taisha grabbed a few mugs from nearby tables and put them down by the kitchen. “A good turnout, huh?” she mused. “A few new faces, which is always nice.”

 

"Yeah, that Marigold seems like a real sweetheart. Where'd you catch her?" Barb gave her a wink as she set the mugs near a sink and began to assort them. "Seems scared of her own shadow."

 

“She’s not usually like this, you should’ve seen her a month ago. But she’s recently come out and honestly, she seems like a completely changed person. I think coming here will be good for her – apparently, her old church was really homophobic.”

 

"Oof, that's never pleasant. I hope she'll get on with the folks here. I'll put in a word to get the others to gently make friends."

 

“Please do! Is the support group still going? I haven’t gone in ages,” Taisha said. “Was it on Wednesdays?”

 

"Yeah! I think the information pamphlets are in the third cabinet." Barb indicated with a glance as she started to soak a mug in water.

 

“I’ll take one over to her after we’re done.” Taisha dried up a mug and put the clean mugs back on the tray to be taken back out. “How are you doing? How’s life?”

 

Barb gave a small sigh as she let her shoulders slump. "Just the usual. Getting ready for Sadie to graduate university. It took a couple of extra years after all that... business but I'm so proud of her for making it through."

 

“Me too! Such a horrible thing to happen to her so young... do you know what she will do once she graduates?”

 

Barb gave a chuckle. "Turns out she hates capitalism and is probably going to focus on her music. She might stay over for this summer, too."

 

“Ah, that sounds great! Please tell her I wish her nothing but success.” Taisha smiled at her. “If she publishes another album, I’ll definitely buy it. Her stuff rocks.”

 

"I'll let her know you said that. I think she'd appreciate it a lot right now." She took the last mug. "How have things been with you, sweetie?"

 

“Same old, same old. It’s exam season, which means it’s both less and more stressful than usual. Got quite a lot of training lined up for the summer as well.”

Just in that moment, Kevin poked his head inside the kitchen. “Ah, there you are!” he said happily. “I’m all done, and it is a masterpiece, if I do say so myself. Would you like to come out and see?”

 

Barb nudged Taisha, "Oh, this oughta be good.  Lemme just finish this last bit and drain the sink."

 

“Sure. You need any help with that?”

 

"Naw, go on ahead, I'll be just a second."

 

Taisha nodded and went out of the kitchen, looking around for Kevin and Marigold.

When she saw Marigold, she stopped for a moment.

_Wow._

 

 

Marigold stood, like a little lost lamb. She looked nervously at Taisha, but the corners of her lips couldn't stop twitching with near childlike delight.

"What do you think?"

 

Taisha noticed Marigold’s almost-smile and beamed at her. “It looks great!” she said. “What a glow-up from whatever it was you had before! Do you like it?”

 

"Yes!" Marigold smiled. "I think I'll need to get used to it, but it suits me."

 

“Definitely,” Taisha agreed. “There’s some cake, and more tea or coffee, if you want. There’s some more people here now, I’ll introduce you – let you get to know the community in your new church.”

 

"Sure!" Marigold smiled again, looking around. Perhaps...

Perhaps this was all going to be alright.

 

 

 

 

 


	88. Act VI - Chapter VIII: Captive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a few content warnings for this chapter but they're also potentially quite spoilery. It's important to us to make sure this story is CW'd appropriately throughout, but we also don't want to ruin the surprise.  
> So for your consideration, [click here](http://ronyxfic.tumblr.com/cws) for the content warnings.

_Azure,_

_A short update on our trip. I regret to tell you that even though we’ve been here for nearly two weeks, our searches have failed to yield anything._

_The contacts you mentioned are nowhere to be found. We’ve asked around, and nobody here seems to know anything. None of the names seem to ring any bells. The address we had for the vineyard turned out to be incorrect, but the townspeople could help with that at least, and gave us directions. The vineyard seems to be a matter of pride amongst the people here, but none of them seem to be aware of any takeovers in terms of who owns or runs it._

_After some searching we found the vineyard, and it looks like it’s in good condition, but none of the workers gave useful answers to my subtle questioning either._

_I’m sorry I can’t give you any more right now. We will keep digging until we find something, though, I promise._

_The countryside is beautiful. Ashleigh and Hunter have been enjoying a bit of a hiking holiday in our downtime. The food is excellent, and so is the wine. Staying here for a while seems to be the only upside to not finding any information._

_Hope all is well with you,_

_Marina_

 

 

Marina's fingers swiped over the keypad as she moved the cursor to close the browser after her mailbox indicated that her encrypted message was sent.

She sighed, feeling alone once more. Only a few more days and they'd call it a lost cause, and her bodyguards had long since abandoned any semblance of a work ethic. 

Now, they were off to an evening meal somewhere Marina didn't care about.

Marina huffed as she looked at her phone and considered phoning them. The signal kept going on and off, and had halted at no bars for the past half hour. No music, no makeup tutorials. Life was hell sometimes.

There was a small bar in the lounge. Marina barely bothered to wear clothes and slipped on a light gown as the arid night didn't demand much cover. Mentioning the wine in her letter had given her cravings. Perhaps she'd be less bored.

 

The bar staff knew her by now. One of them came over. “Good evening,” she said in French, “what can I get for you today?”

 

"I'll have a look at the drinks menu, feeling picky tonight."

Marina sat in a secluded area, with crimson velvet cushions on seats, dotted by potted plants. The dinner service had somewhat slowed down at this hour. It was pleasant, peaceful.

 

“I will be right back,” the waitress said, vanishing from Marina’s sightline.

A moment later, she returned with the drinks menu. She opened it to display a letter.

“Here’s the menu, and this was given to us by someone earlier,” she said. “A friend of yours, perhaps? We haven’t opened it, don’t worry.”

 

 

Marina raised her eyebrow as she was handed the envelope. Huh.

Hunter often left IOUs on sticky notes but never letters. Weird.

 She gave a nod of thanks and slowly opened it, her eyes widening.

 

_We’ve noticed you asking a lot of questions about the Diment estate. If you want to know more, come to the vineyard after midnight. You’ll have to come alone, don’t bring your bodyguards. Don’t ask any more questions._

 

Marina swallowed. The vineyard was huge.

However, she turned the letter to reveal a series of numbers: coordinates.

She sighed, praying for her phone to work again. She really didn't need games tonight.

Though, she'd been parched for a lead on this case. And perhaps, with a glass of Chardonnay, she could even make it an adventure.

Her phone vibrated as she received a text from Hunter. She was back online.

 

_Hi Marina! Just heading back. Found anything else?_

It was definitely supposed to be a mocking tone, since they hadn’t found anything for nearly two weeks.

 

_Um. actually,,_

_Ya girl just got a mystery note with instructions. No biggie ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯_

 

_Wait, really? You’re kidding, right?_

 

_nope! Hurry your asses home, we've got a couple of hours to prepare. I'll give you details when you get back._

 

There was no response from Hunter this time, but a few minutes later, the Topazes were back in the hotel room, ready to be briefed by Marina about this exciting new development.

 

"So, don't bother trying to convince me to let you guys follow me or whatever. This feels way too specific to be a prank," Marina finished, and slammed the minifridge shut and swigged a bottle of sparkling water. "I'm gonna need you guys to only tail me if I don’t respond or return to the rendezvous. Questions?"

 

“I have a question,” Ashleigh said, raising her hand. “Why is this letter anonymous, and who says you’ll actually get anything out of this? And should we let Azure know before you go? And what if you don’t have the martial arts skills needed to escape if something goes wrong? Sorry, that was several questions.”

 

"And each more of a dullard than the last." Marina rolled her eyes. "Alright, one, it's the only shot we've had and we're due to leave very soon. I refuse to return empty handed. Two, I was about to send her a letter... unfortunately, the internet went out again." Marina pulled her phone out. "Yep. You're gonna have to update her. And I'm taking... the pen. It'll be fine."

 

“Oh, the pen,” Hunter said, “no need to worry then, is there?”

“We’ll leave it in your capable hands,” Ashleigh said. “When are you leaving?”

 

"It isn't far, so I have about an hour before I want to think about setting off."

 

“Alright. One last question,” Ashleigh said.

“What do we do until then?”

 

"I'm going to go and retouch my makeup. You two can do whatever lesbians do when they're left alone."

 

“Well, we certainly will,” Hunter said, grinning.

 

\--

 

The coordinates that Marina had been sent led directly to a grave. The white marble was worn, but the grave looked well maintained. A few candles illuminated it faintly.

 _Claire Diment_.

Beside the grave, there was a tall young woman, quite obviously waiting.

 

 

Marina took a few cautious steps towards the figure in the dark. She turned off her phone's torch and called out."Hello?"

 

The woman raised a hand. “Hi there,” she said, “good of you to make it. You came alone?”

 

"Yes," Marina replied, coming closer. "It did strike me as a little odd, though."

 

“Oh, trust me, you have nothing to worry about from me,” the woman said. “You can call me Skinny. I’m here alone too, if it helps.”

 

"You speak good English," Marina commented, raising a brow. "You're aware of the situation with this place?"

 

“I know as much as I need to know,” Skinny said. “And my employer asked me to tell you this: If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave this place and not investigate further. It’s none of your concern.”

 

Marina paused, but wasn't entirely taken aback. "And who's your employer?"

 

“Nobody you need to worry about. That is, if you drop it.”

 

"I think I'll pass. Is that all the information you have to offer me?"

 

“Yes,” Skinny said. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave now and crawl back to your country and tell your boss you didn’t find anything.”

 

"'Kay. See you later." Marina turned and put her hand in her pocket to reach her phone.

 

“Do I have your word that you’re going to drop it?”

 

"Sure." Marina had already started to walk away.

It wasn't as if they'd hold her to her promise.

 

But just then, two large forms materialised out of the trees next to the path.

“Not so fast,” one of them said. “You sound a bit insincere there.”

 

Marina felt her blood run cold.

"I said I'd drop it. I'll be off, I don't want trouble."

 

“If you didn’t want trouble, you wouldn’t have come snooping in what’s none of your business,” said Skinny. “You’ve done far too much investigating for that. We’re on to you, and we will send a clear message to your boss.”

The two larger women began to converge on Marina.

 

"No! Get off!" Marina felt herself panic as she was tackled. Her scream echoed in the vast expanse of the vineyard, but there was no one there to hear her.

 

“Too late for that, sweetie.”

Someone grabbed her around the waist, and then there was a damp cloth over her mouth and nose. “Just keep breathing for me,” said a kind voice. “This won’t take long.”

 

Marina coughed as a chemical smell attacked her nostrils, and tried to hold her breath, trying to wrestle out of the hold despite her tiny size.

It was to no avail, though, as her world suddenly began to spin.

 

“Don’t fight,” the same voice said. “We’re stronger than you. Just let it happen, there’s nothing you can do now.”

 

Everything suddenly felt all too slow, her lungs all too heavy.

Marina felt her knees buckle and her body nearly drop onto the earth.

 

“That should do it,” the voice said. “Get the bag and the ropes, we’re taking her back.”

 

It was the last thing Marina remembered before the world went black.

 

\--

 

The darkness was eventually penetrated by voices.

“She actually came? What, is she stupid? That was such obvious bait, I can’t believe she took it,” said one.

“No, she actually did, and she was on her own as well,” said another, which belonged to Skinny. “She’s far too keen for her own good.”

“I can’t believe _this_ is who Azure would send to investigate,” said a soft voice, far gentler than the words it spoke. “She’s getting old.”

 

Marina could barely process the words for a few seconds. It felt like her mind had hit a lag with reality.

She tried to raise her head but found that it did not combat the darkness, she'd been blindfolded. And at the tightness by her jaw, gagged, too.

This was bad.

 

 

“Hush, she’s waking up,” said a different voice.

“So shut your trap, Holly.”

A moment of silence fell.

“Are you awake?” said the softer voice.

 

Marina nodded her head, her heart suddenly racing. Where was she? Who had apprehended her?

Was she going to make it out of this alive?

She tried to move, and found her hands fastened to one another behind her back. She appeared to be seated.

 

“Good. Don’t try to move, you’ll make things worse for yourself. I’m going to loosen your gag, and I will ask you some questions, and you will answer truthfully to the best of your ability. There’s a gun pointed at you right now, so don’t try to play games.”

 

Marina tensed at the mention of the weapon, and slowly nodded her head.

 

A hand came close, cupping her chin and removing the gag, a lot more gentle than expected.

“Why are you investigating the Diment estate?”

 

"Journalism piece. Locals don't know who bought it out, I was trying to get the scoop," Marina lied, her throat hoarse.

 

“Is that so. Which newspaper?”

 

"Online. Vice."

 

“Huh. Haven’t seen any camera teams around you. No interviews. Just questions. Are you sure you’re telling the truth?”

 

"We only tend to film when appropriate. You wouldn't like it if I stuck a camera in your face."

 

“Don’t get sassy. There’s still a gun pointed at you. Who’s your boss?”

 

"Depends on what you mean. We like to keep it a bit of a democracy at vice, but I guess there's my director... unless you want the CEO?"

 

“Please.”

 

"I'm sure you could just Google that. It's common knowledge."

Marina attempted to try and pick her captor's accent. It felt all too familiar.

Definetly English, near London. Marina frowned.

 

“Surely you know, if you work there? Why don’t you tell us, hm? Quickly now.”

 

"Tom... Higgleston. And he's not going to be happy about this, let me tell you."

 

“She’s lying,” another voice said. “I just googled it.”

“Huh,” said the first voice. “Let me assure you that we have plenty of time. Nobody knows where you are. We can figure out that you’re lying no matter how many times you try to. Each lie will be one more bullet in your body, starting now. So why don’t you tell us the truth for a change?”

Something clicked. It sounded dangerously like a gun being loaded.

“Why are you here?”

 

Marina gave a small, frightened scream and clenched her fists. "I was sent here to investigate... that part isn't a lie!"

 

“Well, that’s a start,” the voice said. “Moving on. You said you were sent here by someone. Who?”

 

Marina felt herself crack. They'd mentioned Azure, so they knew that much already.

It wouldn't change much to tell the truth. "Azure."

 

“Azure who?”

 

"Almas..." Her throat felt dry, she coughed a few times.

 

“Thank you for finally telling the truth. What has Azure told you about this situation? How much do you know?”

 

"Not much." Marina gave a bitter laugh. "Why else do you think I stupidly showed up? Didn't have any other leads."

 

“That’s good. This particular lead will end here. No loose ends. Do you have anything on you, a recording device, maybe? Because we will have to destroy that.”

 

"None. I'm not stupid or a spy." Marina gritted her teeth.

 

“Huh. Holly, why don’t you search her. Don’t worry about being gentle, and be as thorough as you like.”

“With pleasure,” Holly said, stepping closer.

 

Marina sighed. "If you must. I think I've got five euros if you want that? You might be able to afford an ice cream."

 

She didn’t get a response. Instead, a hand turned her chin, fingers slipping underneath her collar. The fingers on her chin were harsh; it would be nearly impossible to wriggle out of that grip. Meanwhile, the fingers on her neck were brutally efficient, tearing at the buttons of her blouse. Upon finding nothing, they slipped further down. A hand reached into her pocket.

“Got something,” Holly said, pulling out a pen.

 

Marina gasped at the touches, flushing and trying to gasp for extra air."Oh, please don't. I'm really bad at losing them and it's my last one."

 

“Give it here,” said the other voice.

“It’s just a pen, right?” Skinny’s voice said.

“I’ll be the judge of that. Holly, feel free to continue searching her.”

Fingers slid underneath her blouse. Ropes were obstructing them, but Holly didn’t seem to care. Fingernails scraped over Marina’s flesh as Holly checked her bra. Nothing there.

“Huh. It looks like an ordinary pen. Shall we destroy it just in case?”

 

Marina's breath hitched.

"Stop, I don't like... women."

It was not the right time for an attack of internalised homophobia.

 

“I don’t care,” Holly said. “Just hold still. I’m not fondling you.” She ran her hands over Marina’s belly, then checked the rest of her pockets. “Some change, a pair of earphones,” she reported.

“Hand me the earphones,” the other voice said. “And you can have your pen back, if it means so much to you.”

“The earphones look suspicious,” Skinny commented. “Look, that inbuilt microphone looks pretty big.”

 

Marina nearly blew her cover with a sigh of relief when the pen was inserted back into her pocket. "They're a bit old. You can have them if you want, been meaning to get new ones."

 

“You know, I think I’ll take you up on that,” the voice said. “You’re not very good at bluffing, you know. How’s the search coming, Holly?”

Holly had slid her hands into Marina’s trouser pockets.

“A key card for a hotel room,” she said.

“Give it here, she won’t need it,” the other voice said.

“Car keys. A rental, it looks like.”

“Huh. Could be useful to have a rental car available. Let’s hold on to those.”

 

Marina cried out. "H-hey! What do you mean I won't need it?"

 

"Spoiler alert," said the voice gently. "You'll see. Anything else, Holly?"

Holly ran her hands down Marina's thighs, calves, and took off her shoes. "Nothing," she reported.

"Okay. Take Skinny and the others and start packing up, we're heading off soon, but I want a private word with our dear friend here."

 

Marina's breath hitched as she was touched again, feeling a heat rise to her face. Her heart thundered.

 

There were scuffles as Holly and Skinny left. A door slammed shut.

“Well, it looks like it’s just you and me now,” said the voice softly. Coming closer. “I have another bone to pick with you before we finish this.”

 

Marina shuddered. "What did I ever do to you? I've got a mom, she's gonna miss me. She's gonna miss me so much..." She couldn't formulate thoughts properly, everything felt scrambled, violated. "D-don't you have someone like that? I won't... I won't tell anyone what happened."

 

The voice laughed. She sounded oddly kind. “Appealing to my humanity will get you absolutely nowhere,” she said sweetly, her tone violently contrasted by the words she said. “And it’s not about you. None of this is. I couldn’t care less about you. But I need to know what Azure told you about this.”

 

Marina paused. " Azure... Do you know her, personally?" Her voice trembled. "She's my boss. She's hired me to do odd jobs here and there. This wine farm was acquired by some asshole completely illegally, so I'm just.... I'm just here to see who it is so that we can protect it."

 

“I see. Is that all she told you?” the voice said, not answering Marina’s question. “I can’t believe she’d send such a hapless idiot down here. There must be more she told you.”

 

"Yes, the case was considered highly sensitive and barely had any names or details attached... I really can't tell you anything more."

 

“Give me all the names and details.”

 

"Oh, Jesus Christ. They were all European, apart from a Roxy but she's probably dead.  You'd have to get my documents to see them."

 

“Roxy who?” The voice suddenly changed, grew colder, more merciless.

 

"Dayman." Marina gasped, feeling herself tense so hard she nearly lost control of her bladder. "Please... I don't want to die."

 

“That’s none of my concern,” the voice said sharply. “And if you don’t quit your whining, I might have to do something worse to you.” The voice was behind her now, unbearably close, nearly breathing down Marina’s neck. “What’s... Roxy’s connection to this, then?”

 

"I don't know. I honestly thought she'd be irrelevant to the case - She's literally presumed to be dead and has no other ties to the leads par something to do with Azure." Marina could smell a sweet rosy perfume, coated with some form of musk. Her hairs stood on end. "Why do you even care?"

 

“That’s none of your business. You’re here to answer questions, not ask them.” The voice came from the front again, but no less close. A warm hand settled on Marina’s thigh. “Tell me everything you know about Roxy.”

 

"I, uh..." Marina gave a yet another gasp. No one had been so close to her for years. Constantly moving left little time for intimacy. 

 

She hoped the blindfold covered enough of her face for her captor to not see her blush. "I don't really know much. Azure really seemed determined to have her as a suspect, which was weird, but Azure has good judgement with these things. I think they have history. I mean, if I could have my phone I could probably call her for you so that you could talk to her and... not... do this to me."

 

“Thanks, but I have no interest in talking to Azure.”

Unfortunately for Marina, her captor noticed her blush.

“My, my. Are you actually /enjoying/ this? I was pretty much done, but I can draw it out a little further, just for your sake.” The hand on Marina’s thigh inched upwards just a little bit.

 

"At least buy me dinner first." Marina tensed and tried to withdraw back, but her bindings left her stuck to be played with. Her stomach felt butterflies as her thigh tingled where it was touched.

Her mind felt hazy, unable to deal with the mixture of horrified heat.

 

“You really are pathetic. Do you think flirting with me will make me like you more?”

A second hand, now, on Marina’s chin. Turning her head, tracing her jawline.

 

Marina gritted her teeth as she felt her face looked at. Her entire being exposed and open to the scrutiny of her holder.  "What are you doing?"

 

“Playing with you. Don’t worry, I’m not actually interested in you, I just like to have fun with people’s feelings. Don’t tell me you’re not enjoying it.”

All the while, her hand inched up Marina’s thigh, and a thumb ran over Marina’s bottom lip.

 

Touch felt like electricity.

"If I'm going to die, can I at least see what you look like?"

 

“What, so you can get all Stockholm syndrome-y on me? No thanks. Just take what you’re given like a good girl, hm?”

Where Holly’s touches had been practical, goal-oriented, this woman took her sweet time. She leasurely traced a finger over Marina’s throat, and her other hand narrowly avoided Marina’s crotch to find a sneaky way underneath her blouse.

 

Marina gave a near squeal at the denial and then new touch, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

 

A low chuckle. “Oh, the depravity. I can’t believe Azure hired someone like you. Are you enjoying feeling this powerless? You don’t seem like the type.”

She came closer, settling on Marina’s lap. “It’s a shame you’re all tied up right now. If things were different, I’d probably enjoy playing with you for a little longer.”

 

Perhaps that was it. Marina hadn't ever been quite so powerless in her life.

She didn't have much time to think about it. "Which... Which part of London are you from?"

 

Her captor reacted instantly. A hand locked around Marina’s throat. “Don’t ask questions. I haven’t given you permission.”

 

Marina panicked and felt herself sieze up and choke. However, the sensation of being utterly trapped only served to increase her panic.

 

She was released almost instantly.

“Alright, I’ve had my fun. Time to get this over with.”

The weight lifted from Marina’s lap, and the touches faded.

 

"No, no, please no, I'll do anything! I'll... I'll let you do things to me. I don't care, I just don't want to end like this! Not like this!"

 

“Stop whining, it’s unflattering,” said the voice. “You won’t change my mind. Although...”

She came closer again.

“One last thing.”

 

Marina felt herself jump a little at the sudden closeness. "W-what?"

 

The space between them was quickly closed. A soft pair of lips on Marina’s, only for a second.

And yet, a touch that lingered just for a moment too long.

“Farewell.”

She didn’t give Marina time to react. Within a second, a bullet was loaded.

The gunshot echoed through the building.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back in three weeks, on June 16th, with our Diamond Bomb!!
> 
>  


End file.
